Elise

Culture

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 13:22:12 GMT

I have been very cultural lately, reading book, seeing plays, going to book launches - all sorts.

I have realised, howeve, that it's possible to do quite a lot of things in London for free or for less money than you would think. Managed to get a "pay what you can" ticket to see Seize the Day at the Tricycle on Saturday afternoon. This was good as the full price is £15 and that was more than I could really have paid. That said cheap tickets for The Old Vic and The National Theatre are £10 (and if you satnd at the Old Vic, even less), which is considerably lower than the £50 or so that a lot of West End theatre costs. have not yet tried to see how much it is to see the plays at the more commercially-minded theatres but may see soon.

I am seeing these plays because I am teaching a Theatre Appreciation class in very north London. I was supposed to be doing another one, but there were not anough sign-ups so it got cancelled.

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In non-teaching news, I have started posting pictures, text and video to my What's That Vegetable? blog - I am not sure how many vegetables I will end up covering - but I have about 32 videos, apart from any other things I might put there.

I have also got involved in a sketch group and am doing voices for various things (eg Ed Parnell used some audio I did for him ages ago to make an animation - I really hope he doesn't think I actually look like this though!)

The Ship of Fools gig last Friday went very well indeed and I think I was probably the best I have ever been live. It is a shame it's not a more central venue, though, as it's hard to get audience in.

Blank

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 19:01:38 GMT

I spent a long bus journey considering ideas and themes for journal posts and the like and now I come to write them down I have forgotten what the 'brilliant' ideas I came up with actually were.

I probably could have saved the universe or something if I knew.

Hallowe'en is this weekend though, isn't it? I have, in the past, had all sorts of adventures with ghost trips and psychic readings at swanky events but this year I am going to a community hall where most of the other guests are going to be toddlers and their parents. It should be fun.

Anyway, here are some spooky videos with pumpkins and graveyards.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFQLcEVqhdk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpGQ6XVKW1M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1acmfl8i98E

Perhaps I will remember the massive, important revelations by tomorrow.

Writing drought

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 01:19:07 GMT

I don't know why I stopped writing every day but it seems to have happened. It's very strange but for most of my life I have always written something every day - and now it's just Twitter updates.

Diary entries from about 12, and from the age of 16 or so it was plays, sketches and screenplays - most of which never went anywhere and were rejected numerous times.

Then poems, which were sometimes published and the occasional short story, which wasn't.

Journalism worked for a while. Not one of my novels/novellas has gone further than a small group of friends. Haven't even finished most of them.

In the early years of the 21st century I wrote a bit of fanfiction (but haven't for quite some time) and since 2003 I have been on Livejournal.

The vegetable book was started but the agent who approached me lost interest and then so did I.

So I think, although I will not be taking part in Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month), I should spend the next few months writing something every day that isn't a tweet.

Sketches, finishing one of my almost-done-novels, or just Livejournal entries. I will try to write something every day in November. And from then on if I can keep it up. I hope I can.

Should probably also work on new material.

Rise of the Corn

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 08:00:21 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJfDGkCsBcs">New vegetable video

Went wandering in London yesterday with Chuquai Billy - we intended to film things but ended up just wandering. Visited Treadwells and saw tyrell and marysiak though. I hadn't seen either for ages.

Chuquai and I talked about comedy clubs at one point - the Jongleurs type in particular. Was a bit surprised when I got home to find the company that own Jongleurs has just gone into administration - and five of 15 have closed (though I think Cardiff closed a while ago so only nine actually remain).

Wonder if the nine that are still open can last much longer - the comedy club business is a tricky one!

Talking of which - Ship of Fools is on tonight with lots of acts - please come and support live comedy on a slighly smaller scale!

Charlatan

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 09:09:12 GMT

I read the other day about several fatalities at a badly run, misguided sweat lodge, run by a self-help guru.

Of course, me being me, I was obliged to go to the man's website and sign up under a fictitious name to get all the free programmes he was offering and to see what on earth he was trying to do.

Make more money, as it turns out - that and nothing else.

I fell asleep listening to the audio version he has online so possibly I have been hypnotised into giving him what little money I have in return to the secret to getting more and being happy about giving him all of it.

I also have a $100 voucher to go to one of his sweat lodges. Anyone want it?

Slipping

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 21:51:57 GMT

The time keeps slipping by. I have been very very busy this week and consequently have ended up doing very little of what I meant to do.

Went to see a matinee of Inherit the Wind at The Old Vic today. Had the cheapest seats (on the Lilian Baylis benches right at the top). You have to half stand up and lean forward to see most of the stage - brought a cushion so my knees were not hurt by leaning on the railing, but was getting pins and needles in my feet by the end.

It starred Kevin Spacey and David Troughton and both gave strong performances - though maybe a bit too reminiscent of Spencer Tracey and Frederic March. Lots of padding on both of them (especially Spacey who also wore a very convincing white wig. From a distance it looked realistic, anyway).

Off to see Mother Courage and Her Children at The National Theatre tomorrow (Fiona Shaw in that one). Another matinee.

Maybe after this week and all the stuff I have had to do I will have some breathing space and can start planning things properly.

Whatever happened to fandom?

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 18:45:45 GMT

A few years ago I was quite active in discussion groups and forums on all sorts of fairly diverse TV shows and films - The Professionals, Hercules: The Legendary Journeys, Red Dwarf, Stargate Atlantis, Smallville (I thought that obsession as never going to end though it burned itself out completely by the fourth series) and loads more.

Even fairly recently I have been [mostly] a lurker in things like Doctor Who, Torchwood, Merlin and Heroes fandoms - but it feels like it's not there any more in the way it was. It's too patchy (not enough community spirit!)

Times were as soon as any episodes of shows were on there would be all sorts of people talking and writing about them. Where did it all go - am I just out of the loop?

Never really engaged with Supernatural and maybe a lot of the people I knew in other fandoms went there - but after this week's Heroes I expected all sorts of Livejournal posts and Tweets, and I got nothing.

Livejournal itself is so quiet and I stopped following a lot of communities, but even so - where has all the old excitement gone? Does anyone still hang out at the Television Without Pity forums?

Stargate Universe starts soon and I expect enthusiasm, even if it doesn't have anyone from Stargate: SG-1 or Atlantis as a mainstay. Don't let me down people - I miss fandom!

Something in the Air

Fri, 25 Sep 2009 18:24:37 GMT

Walking home at about 6pm tonight I glanced up at a low flying plane and saw something glistening above it. It was hard to tell if it was something big and far away or smaller and nearer (not sure how far above the plane it really was) but as the plane went one way it went the other. It twisted and turned and glinted in the setting sun, so it looked at times as if it was on fire.

I don't know what it was, whether it was a fragment of a balloon, caught on a breeze that wasn't there further down towards the ground, or something that had broken away from a plane, a satellite or a meteor. It seemed to fly in a whirl like a tiny helicopter, seemingly not plumeting but travelling ever on.

For a second I thought maybe it was actually made of fire, it seemed to burn so brightly. It looked as though it was travelling on its own propulsion, the way it span.

I turned away and it had disappeared over the roof tops.

It was a UFO only in so far as it was an object that was flying and I can't identify it. Almost certainly some natural phenomenon or man-made, though I have no clue what it was, how big, or how far away it was.

There was no wind today, it was a lovely, still, clear evening. It felt too still and clear, too quiet. I don't think it's a sign of anything to come, but it does feel as though something is about to happen - it's probably just October.

Controversial

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 08:06:27 GMT

In which Ollie and I discuss the 'big' issues. This episode, "does thingwhatsit exist?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ar-jZCY89dc

I start my new job very soon and I am worried. Lots of paperwork and organisation. If anyone has any freelance stuff they want doing (journalism, comedy, video, acting, writing, tutoring digging holes etc) that would be great as my new thing is only part time and though it will probably cover my rent I still have to find money to pay for everything else!

It seems like months

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 10:00:11 GMT

I haven't checked Livejournal since Friday - it's usually a daily thing when I have internet access. And goodness knows how long ago I last made a post(I could check, easily, but I don't remember offhand.)

Busy few days, really and a busy period in my life coming up.

Need to rethink the direction my life is going, need to do something about the comedy and need to sort out where I will live in the next year.

Maybe it's a critical period. Not sure and probably won't know for a while.

I now have my broken video camera back, anyway, and it's better than it was when it was bought.

Trying

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 00:20:24 GMT

It has been a trying few weeks.

Edinburgh was mostly good apart from when it wasn't. I have delivered my broken camera to Elstree to be repaired, and I will see what can be done. In the meantime I spent all the money I could find on a new camera - which might be foolish, but I will just trust it will be worth it in the end.

The old one was clearly not good enough if it broke so easily and so quickly. Someone else has told me they have had the exact same problems I had with the same model and their camera couldn't be fixed and was eventually replaced with one that was worse, more than a month after they took it back.

I saw that the coffee grinder I bought from Starbucks some years ago has been recalled because of problems with the blade continuing to spin after the power has gone off. Today I returned that to a branch of Starbucks that was not the one where I bought it (that one is a fish and chip/steak house now) and they gave me the money back straight away with no questions. This is proper service when things go wrong - not like Canon and Currys' and their shoddy customer service. Of cours ethere was risk of severed fingers in this instance so you can see why they would be more keen to prevent bad publicity.

Today I saw what was either a very large mouse or a small rat in my hall - I sort of knew it was there yesterday evening as I could smell something strange. Even so I didn't expect to see it running all around my flat this morning.

It eventually went behind the cooker, bypassing the rat trap completely. I will have to work out how best to rid myself of the vermin.

Many friendships have been strained. I tweeted about one and was immediately reminded of several others that should not have ended or gone wrong. I do not know how I manage to get through so many friendships. I have had so many very close friendships with people I never even see these days and have no contact with. I don't know why.

then again people I didn't seem all that close too have remained in touch and stayed, or become, good friends for the long haul (hopefully).

Do not know why this should be.

Meanwhile I have posted the competition entry that never stood a chance (on Youtube) - where it has already, in a few hours, got almost as many viewers as it did when it was in the competition.

And footage from my new camera and pondering of future Edinburgh ideas -

Back

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 08:09:46 GMT

Back in London after a very uncomfortable journey on a sleeper train. It was a seat rather than a bed and there was a couple sat opposite me - the man had very long legs and smelled of sweat.

So I have a crick in my neck and had to curl up on the seat. If I do that again I will see how much the berths cost. Probably more than I can afford (The fare I got was the cheapest online I could find).

It came in to Euston and my bus home is a five minute walk to King's Cross. I got almost all the way there, weighed down with bags and suitcases, when I realised that even ithough it was all heavy it wasn't as heavy as it should have been. I had left my laptop on board. I rushed back and fortuinately they were still letting people off the train (those who stayed asleep in their comfy beds) so I managed to retrieve it.

The train got in at 6.45am but it too almost an hour for me to get over all the running about so I only just got in.

Got to post my voting form for the Fringe Society elections now (they have to get there by Thursday) and sort out my life.

I have a lot of washing that needs doing, and no washing machine.

My video camera is still not coming on so I think it has definitely died. It was an SD card one though - and my laptop has an SD reader, so I will try and get what little footage I have of the last week in Edinburgh edited and up within a day or so.

Broken

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 14:06:53 GMT

Well after the ignominy of being called broken and worthless on Twitter last night this morning I find that that's pretty much the literal truth.

I thought I was going home tomorrow in the day but it turns out my ticket is for 11.30pm not am and I have a whole other day to pay for here. Not only that but my video camera that has been acting up for days has now decided not to come on at all, and the lens cover stayed open when the power failed.

I have put it inside one of the new pairs of pound shop socks I bought after yesterday's rain so at least the lens is protected if it does come back to life. I am assuming it will not. It was a display model and I think it might have given up the ghost.

I am, at least, still alive - so the head injury probably wasn't any more serious than any of the others I have got in my life.

I want to go home

Sun, 16 Aug 2009 00:45:55 GMT

Last show today and it went quite well, though I wasn't at my best.

Later in the evening a comedian insulted me through the medium of Twitter.

A short while later I hugged Lewis Schaffer.

Later still I went to the [supposedly VIP] Loft bar at the Gilded Balloon with Charly, Sajeela Kershi, Andrew Watts and two of Andrew Watt's family - but only three of us had passes (I had one) and they wouldn't let guest through so they all went downstairs to the less exclusive Library bar.

I had not had a drink but as I was going through the door to the smoking area I hit my head and both arms on the very narrow, low door frame.

Sajeela had joined the rest but I just turned around and left. I sat on the stairs of the Gilded Balloon for a while, in pain and with my finger bleeding all over the place (I am typing this without that finger as it is still sore).

I texted them to let them know that as I was now dazed, bleeding and in pain it was probably a sign to leave.

I am going to bed now. I hope I don't have concussion.

Melancholia

Fri, 14 Aug 2009 11:47:32 GMT

It's wet and yet warm up here in Edinburgh. At the moment my feet are soaked.

Danny Worthington has arrived now, ready to do Fresh Faces from Sunday (I think I am still doing it today and tomorrow). Yesterday's audience was mainly non-English speaking, which was interesting. And they were international, so even if someone understood the words and the references, the same references were meaningless to other members of the audience.

Still, afterwards two Libyans said they thought I was very good and a Scottish gentleman said he enjoyed the show more than Pearshaped, which had been in the time slot last year. I am not sure I know if that is praise or not!

It gets very hot in the room, even with two fans going, so you can't really shut the door - even if you do want to stop people from escaping! One act had done a rather inadvisable joke a few days ago and several people walked out straight afterwards. I meant to tell him if he came back not to do the same joke, but he was there yesterday again and I only remembered it was him a second before he launched into the gag. Fortunately nobody left this time - but it might have been because nobody understood it.

I thought my camera had broken last night, but it seems OK today. This is good as I lay awake in my top bunk worrying about where I had left the receipt, and if I would be able to get it repaired. In my experience if something breaks, even within the guarantee period, it is simpler to just get a new one - though I don't have the money for that right now. So relieved it is OK.

I have not filmed as much as I intended - and I won't really be able to edit what I have until I get back to London. Internet time is limited here.

I would like to stay longer, but without a show and with only enough money to last until today that seems like a silly idea. I will try to make it for the whole Fringe again next year - or at least have a long enough show to potentially do it. If I don't come here I can perform it somewhere else.

Got to get lots more gigs in London in the next year.

Edinburgh is like a crucible - it burns away all the jokes that don't work and all the false hope. The only trouble is sometimes it burns everything else as well. Those who get completely burnt just have to rise phoenix-like from the ashes if they can.

I am recovered from finding a hair in my refried beans at Pancho Villa's restaurant the other day. What distressed me most there was the manageress trying to argue with me that it couldn't be a hair as all the people in the kitchen have shaved heads and faces. It was not a head hair.

Edinburgh and other stuff

Tue, 11 Aug 2009 09:17:09 GMT

In a last ditch attempt I am going to once more ask people to login to Facebook then watch the "Trouble With Lipstick" video on my website - http://www.eliseharris.com - you will have to click on the little connect thing that may turn up in the little inset screen itself. I am far behind and need to get last minute vote - five day to catch up, please help.

Also , here is a video diary of day oneish of Edinburgh before all the malaise and despair set in!

Been finding a lot of feathers lately. And getting deja vu of deja vu of deja vu. Either a sign or I need more rest - or a sign I need more rest. There are 15 other beds in my hostel room, with really only space enough for one bed. Lots of snorers and I am on a top bunk that is hard to scramble onto in the dark, especially with rucksacks scattered all over the floor.

Ups and downs of Edinburgh

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 09:30:57 GMT

The first few days of the Edinburgh Fringe have been mixed. I am tired from all the walking and the weather is either rainy or too hot but I have had some good gigs.

Had to cancel a spot at a late night one (Verity Welch's Twisted Sister) as I was far too tired to keep my eyes open by then. I did a spot there the day before in a nylon wig and a strange dress (she makes all the performers dress like this - even the men).

Been hanging with Chuquai Billy who, like me, was making a video diary. He had footage of many comedians, including Lewis Schaffer tallking about an incident where he fought with a man who broke his mobile phone from right after it happened. He also had footage of his act and mine.

Unfortunately, during the Edinburgh Tattoo fireworks, he had a flashback to his time fighting in Cambodia and left a Superdrug bag containing the video camera in Hunter Square - needless to say it was not there when he tried to find it again. It's a JVC Everio with the 'Youtube'logo on the side.

So if anyone finds a camera with comedians on it it would be great to get it back.

In other news my mum phoned me this morning to tell me that at 4.05 am today I got another nephew - he was 10 pound 6 ounces so it must be a relief to his mother he is out in the world now. He was already almost two weeks overdue.

Life and death

Wed, 05 Aug 2009 10:37:54 GMT

I have a new nephew due this week so when the phone rang yesterday I answered it with a cheerful "news?"

Unfortunately it was not good news as my great uncle Arthur has died. He would have been 95 in September and he had a stroke a few years back but it was still upsetting and a bit of a shock. It seemed like he would be alive forever.

I am up in Edinburgh from tomorrow so I won't be able to make it for the funeral, which is also not great. I wish I had gone to see him before he died, but there's nothing I can do about that now.

I always think everyone I know will and love live forever and it's lovely to keep thinking that way, but perhaps more jarring when it turns out to not be the case.

Please Watch!

Fri, 31 Jul 2009 01:39:15 GMT

After a few blips my video is finally live.

Entered a competition that closes on August 2 and views are only counted until August 16. The 10 most viewed and rated get into the final and this is a very last minute entry so please watch! It is on my website - http://eliseharris.com/ (The Trouble with Lipstick)

Apparently you have to log in with Facebook and add an app though (which is inconvenient for those not on it - and me!)

Home again

Tue, 28 Jul 2009 19:50:21 GMT

I am staying at my parents' house in Wales (though only until tomorrow) and have spent the weekend looking at green trees and rain out of the window and doing very little else.

Last week I discovered that the street where I live is one of the eight violent hotspots in London as identified by the Police. Then I found out that there were three stabbings and a violent attack on a woman near Peckham Station in the early hours of Saturday. Lovely area.

The last few days have seen me fielding off yet more insults from critics on the internet. I have decided to ignore it all - opinion is just opinion, after all. Many delusional people think they have every right to tell me to give up just because they don't like me, or they think I look like Michael Jackson, or are under the mistaken impression I think I look like him, or (in one case) because they claim they are directly responsible for John Simm's career and therefore, presumably, think they know everything about everything.

Sod the lot of them. If the intention was to make me do even more that is likely to annoy and thwart them then it's possible they have succeeded.

I am still unsure about my place in live comedy but I am doing quite well with the videos and hope to use them in some sort of positive way.

I don't know what the future holds, but who does?

Anyway, here are three recent videos:a mini 'documentary' of alasdair's stint on the Trafalgar Square plinth last Monday; a potato and a marrow.

Lovely people

Mon, 13 Jul 2009 18:31:58 GMT

One thing I like most about LJ and blogging generally is I get a lot less abuse and people expecting something from me here!

I have been swamped with unpleasant messages over on Youtube the last few weeks, and a fair few bizarre ones too - whereas the general tenor of correspondance here is civilised and reasonable!

Anyway, I have been reading blog and LJs lately but not really writing. I am still here though.

I have had a busy few weeks for various reasons.

I won tickets to see Grace Jones last week - I only realise today the woman is 61 years old. Which is remarkable - she is a fantastic performer and looks great for someone 20 years younger.

Put some pictures up on Flickr - http://www.flickr.com/photos/40355701@N04/

I wasn't that far away but my camera is just my phone and tall people kept standing in my way.

I also got wine spilled on me when a drunk woman tripped over a bag someone had left on the floor - it was a standing up concert. Grace Jones was on for almost an hour and a half but didn't come on until well after 9.30pm - the gig itself started at 7.30pm and the support act came on at 8.15pm.

The support act was entertaining too. "Tribes" I think. They did remind me of Vada Riah though. Maybe the mix of at least three languages in all the songs and didgeridoos and other random instruments.

It was like watching a demonstration of glossolalia.

Got some interesting stuff coming up and none of it was planned. I will report on it as it happens.

Bare Naked Talent

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 23:21:51 GMT

I am feeling incredibly loved up (AKA drunk as a skunk) after seeing a screening of Bare Naked Talent (AKA Hardcore: A Look into the Adult Film Orifice) a mockumentary about the making of a fictional porn film.

It stars marysiak, Tom Clutterbuck, Trudi Jackson and Al Constantine, and loads of other people I don't really know who are also very talented.

(I mentioned those particular people because I know them. And they are all great. Oh and Gareth (mrtreacle) is in it too.)

I met the director producer, Mark Withers tonight and he was also a top bloke.

Anyway, it's very funny and if there is any justice in the world it should get a proper distribution and make everyone involved in it a ton of money.

The screening was in Bermondsey, which seems a very up and coming place and not at all the shithole I hads been led to believe it was.

I had a lot of wine after the film and talked shop with Trudi, Al and olliebean.

I need to make more films but also to spread the love more. I know so many talented people who need some proper big breaks.

Bread

Thu, 02 Jul 2009 09:59:57 GMT

I have been experimenting with making wheat free bread the last few weeks and I had been getting quite good at it - but for some reason it comes out differently every time I do it even with the same ingredients.

Then I made two really bad loaves in a row - one because I had run out of the flour I had been using and tried using other things from my cupboard (it had almonds and chick pea flour so it's high protein even if it is inedible) then the next I made I didn't cook for long enough. When I put it back in to finish I forgot about it so - now I have a brick. It would be good for anyone who wants to build an extension.

Yesterday I bought a loaf of gluten-free bread. It was expensive, but I can't help trying new things if there seems a chance they might be good. It was very good. It's like actual real, normal bread. Maybe not the best bread ever but as good as a lot of the bought wheat breads I have had in the past.

It's called Genius and I am inclined to think it pretty much is as it's the only bought gluten-free bread I have ever had that you can slice like normal bread and eat happily without having to toast it. I can make sandwiches that look like sanwiches and taste like sandwiches. I am wondering why it's taken this long for someone to come up with a decent mass produced gluten-free bread as the ingredients don't seem particularly unusual for this sort of thing.

This looks like an advert or something, but I am genuinely quite pleased with this - though it's only available in one supermarket chain at the moment and it's in the price range of 'special treat' rather than everyday purchase. I will save up money and make a trip to one of the larger branches of the supermareket in question when I am in the mood for good bread that I haven't had to make myself [and got wrong 50 times]!

Vote for me

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:17:32 GMT

Just joined an online talent show thing and it depends on people voting - so if anyone would like to go and watch and comment on any/all of the five videos I have put up so far the URL is here: http://noostar.com/performer/eliseharris

Your support would be very welcome.

Patience is needed as it takes a while to get a verification when you sign up and even longer for votes to show, but if you can bear with it, please vote! (click the big red 'vote' button rather than the ratings - though please rate as well if you can!)

Ollie tells me "If you click the Facebook option on the registration page it registers you immediately and you don't need to wait for verification."

I have also found out you can vote on each video up to five times every day.

Who's sad?

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:01:00 GMT

It was sad Michael Jackson died last night but selfishly I hoped this would put an end to people commenting on my Youtube videos with inane stuff about how I look like him.

In fact since last night I have had around 20,000 extra views and very many "OMG you look like MJ/Mical Jaskin/Micheal Jackson/Michael Jackso etc" comments.

All that is different is that a few of them are using my video to post memorials to the man.

It was also sad about Farrah Fawcett. I never really watched Charlie's Angels but my grandfather couldn't get enough of those girls.

I am very happy Rumour of Jeff Goldblum's passing are fasle though - not least because he is one of my celebrity crushes. I was going to say 'weird" celebrity crushes but it's probably not any stranger than my crushes on Dustin Hoffman, Christopher Lee, William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Will Ferrell, Jackie Chan or even Owen Wilson.