It’s an unusual thing for a stranger to say and I was both surprised and delighted that she had the confidence to reach out and take the time to connect with me. We spent the next 15 minutes talking together and sharing stories. Whilst my presence had an impact on her, her willingness to make contact with me (a stranger) had an even greater impact.

How you show up has an impact… even when you are not aware of it.

You only need to be in a place to have an impact on the people around you and on the space.  Consider the lively bar where people are laughing and joking versus the bar where you feel uneasy as soon as you enter as though something is about to kick off. The energy of the people in the space is having an impact on the environment.

What’s the energy you naturally give out?

What’s the impact you are creating?

When I was a student, I worked in a supermarket on the checkout. It was challenging because customers were often tired and rude. I learned that if I was cheerful, no matter how rude the previous person was to me, I could raise my own spirits and engage customers in conversation. I proactively asked people questions and got them to open up.  I was being a coach, even back then. It wasn’t always easy but by taking responsibility for my own energy and demeanour, I improved the interactions I had with others.

You too can create the environment you want just by the energy you bring to the space. You can either collude with negativity or you can change the space by injecting a more positive energy into it. It’s not always easy to be cheerful under pressure but it certainly makes the day go better when you make that choice. Yes, it is a choice. When you notice what is happening, you can start to choose how you want to be in every situation.

Putting it into practice

1. Consider a situation or a relationship where you are not having the impact you want.
2. Now imagine that this situation or relationship is working brilliantly. What is the impact you want to have?
3. What one thing can you do differently to start creating that impact?

Own your energy consciously, notice when to change it to create the impact you want and the rewards will be rich.

With love,

Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Is the energy you put out creating the impact you want?

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Take the person at work that you make judgements and assumptions about. Take the person in the shop that you didn’t bother to pass the time of day with because you were in a hurry.

Many people have so many things to do in a day that they find themselves running from one thing to another without a thought for the people that we engage with along the way. That’s when the human connection gets lost and people start to treat each other as objects. Objects that either help you or hinder you.

When you treat people as an object, you lose sight of the human connection, you stop trying to understand them, you forget that they have needs too, that they may also be under the pressure like you. They treat you the same in return and relationships break down or never form properly.

When did you last look someone in the eyes and really see them, hear them, understand them? As a human being.

What happens when you do?

There is no doubt that many of us are living life at an alarming rate. It’s the same at work as in the supermarket or in the car…. you may see people as either getting in your way or out of your way. Whatever they choose can make your life seem easy or difficult. We become a victim of the circumstances and other people’s behaviour rather than creating the reality we want to create for ourselves.

The benefits of engaging with human beings not objects

We all want to love and be loved. When you love others as human beings, you see their magnificence, you see them as human beings with feelings, emotions, needs. When you engage with people at a basic human level, they behave differently towards you too. When you feel the human connection, you can express your own needs better too and this helps everyone be understood.

When we engage with people as human beings rather than objects, everyone feels better. Everyone feels seen, heard, understood. Relationships form and grow stronger because we see that we have allies instead of people getting in our way. We can work together and support each other through hard times. There is a sense of being in it together, of trusting each other. We start to feel less stressed, we have less conflict in our lives and people that you engage with will leave feeling good about themselves, you and the world we live in.

Putting it into practice

1. Look people in the eye. Really see them as a human being with a desire to be loved and understood.
2. Mirror their words… when you find yourself switching off and your mind wandering, follow their words and start to anticipate in your head what word they are saying next. It keeps you focused on that person instead of on your own stuff going on in your own head.
3. Mirror their body language. It keeps you connected.
4. When you find yourself disconnecting or getting annoyed, consider that the person you are speaking to is a human being and wants to be loved just like you do.
5. Consider what you can do for them, rather than what they can do for you. When you give to others, you will naturally receive in return.
6. When you are in the car, let someone out at the side of the road even if you are in a hurry and smile at them, even when they turn out to be slower than you expected them to be.
7. Smile at people in the supermarket. Acknowledge them when they move out of the way.
8. Listen carefully to your colleagues at work instead of trying to get your own opinion across first. Trust that what they have to say is important and connect with them.

It’s time for you to be the change you want to see in the world.

How do you want to be treated by others?

What are you doing to be the change?

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Are you treating people as objects or human beings?

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I’ve recently been exploring animals as mentors and I see there is so much to be learned from them that we can apply to our own leadership.

I particularly love the playfulness, intelligence and team spirit of dolphins, the way they look out for each other, support each other and really collaborate together.  My dogs show me how to be really present in life, how to respond in the moment, putting past grievances aside and how to appreciate simple pleasures.

But it’s my cat who is my true mentor, who inspires me every day. Whenever I get stuck with something, I watch him and learn.  Here are some leadership lessons from my cat Dennis:

1. Be open to possibilities – Cats go out hunting, not knowing where their next meal will come from. They keep an open mind regarding where they will go, what they will hunt and where they will sleep. Being open to possibilities enables us to recognise different ways of behaving or doing things and increases our creativity and innovation.
2. Be detached from the outcome – cats come and go as free spirits. I never know when my cat will come home. In fact, last year, he took off for 9 days. When I accepted that he could choose to live his life the way he wanted to, he appeared the very next day! Let go of needing to control things that are not meant to be controlled and you will be able to relax into the natural order of life. Stop worrying about things that you cannot influence.
3. Do focussed work - when you see a cat hunting, they are really focussed on the task in hand. They choose what prey they go after and they really concentrate on one thing at a time. It enables them to be really effective. Decide on one (yes, just one) thing that you are going to do each day. Make sure it is something critical and do it first. Anything after that is a bonus. When you focus on just one critical thing each day, you become more effective and productive and your list of things to do will reduce quicker.
4. Know when to give up - my cat will work tirelessly to catch a mouse… but he also knows when to give up and move on to something else. Learn the difference between trying too hard to no avail and persevering under pressure for the sake of achieving something really important.
5. Avoid distractions - cats notice the things that are important… like the traffic, the movement in the undergrowth that enables them to find their next catch. They ignore the constant birdsong that acts as a background noise and refuse to get distracted by it. Allow yourself to switch off the distractions around you (e.g. internet, email, instant messaging, etc) so that you can be really effective. Just one hour a day will enable you to accomplish more in less time.
6. Nurture your mind, body and soul - Cats hunt when they are hungry, sleep when they are tired and avoid the rain wherever possible! I’m not suggesting you never go out in the rain (in fact, I love walking in the rain) but I am suggesting that you find ways to look after yourself and stop pushing yourself beyond your limits.  Having enough sleep is essential to ensuring you are more effective and focussed. Eating healthily and exercise are essential tools for leaders to remain fit and productive at work.
7. Enjoy the process as well as the end goal - Cats are great at enjoying the hunt. If you find yourself focussing so much on the end goal that you forget to enjoy the process, rein yourself back in and notice what is happening. Notice the trials and tribulations along the way and ENJOY them!
8. Learn from failure – When cats fail to catch something, they try again. And again. And again. They don’t sit back and beat themselves up for missing the mouse the first time. They enjoy it all as a game. Start to recognise your failures as part of the bigger game, as part of the process and enjoy learning from them and trying again.
9. Be playful – cats are incredibly playful for no apparent reason. In fact, I find it hard to accept that my cat likes to play with the mouse he caught before eating it. Children are also great at playing with food. As adults, we become accustomed to living and working in a serious manner, following those unwritten rules that tell us how sensible we have to be. Remember how you felt as a teenager, being rebellious and having fun throwing a dishcloth at someone? (was that just me?) It’s time to lighten up and have some FUN!
10. Full permission – Cats are free spirits. They don’t ask what the rules are or constrain themselves believing that they can’t do something. They do what feels right to them. Notice where you stop yourself saying and doing what you want to say and do. Start speaking your truth, from your heart and soul.
11. Follow your intuition – cats are incredibly intuitive. It never ceases to amaze me that my cat catches moles. He must have to be really patient and really quick and really intuitive to know that a mole is near the surface and about to come out. We become so good at working things out logically that many of us have forgotten how to respond with our intuition. Start to notice how your body feels when something is right and how it feels when something is wrong. Start to listen to your body more and more and use it to inform your decisions.

Yes, there is much to be learned from my cat. He’s a reminder that leadership is within us all. We need only relax into our natural leadership style to know what to do in every moment.

What animal is your mentor?

What does your animal mentor tell you about how to live and work?

And finally… when I asked my husband what his animal mentor was, he replied “A chipmunk”. I looked curious and he explained: “Because it’s got cute cheeks and nice teeth”. I give in.

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

11 Leadership lessons from an unusual mentor

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Sometimes, we have to dig deep to find the inner reserves that keep us going when the going gets tough.

One of the most inspiring books I have ever read is a book called Three Cups of Tea by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin. It follows the story of Greg Mortenson who tried and failed to climb K2 in the Himalayas.

After getting lost on the way down, he spends the night alone on the mountainside and makes peace with his failure. “It was his body that had failed, he decided, not his spirit, and every body had its limits. He, for the first time in his life had found the absolute limit of his.”

What an inspiration that is.

To recognise that sometimes our bodies fail us, sometimes our minds too. We can choose to allow our spirit to be crushed by failure or we can choose to bounce back and accept it as being a step beyond our capacity in that moment. Move on and learn. So easy to say and so much more difficult to do.

The following day, Greg continues to make his way down the mountain, gets lost and ends up in a remote village in Pakistan. He is warmly received and looked after by the villagers and vows to return to build a school for the local children who he finds drawing in the dirt because they have no school and no teacher.

The rest of the book follows his journey through the trials and tribulations of building this school and how he then went on to build a total of 55 schools in Pakistan. He has one hurdle after another to contend with. What struck me in this book was his ability to pick himself up, dust himself down and keep going, knowing that what he is working towards is worth the heartache, the challenge and more importantly, worth continuing to go after.

Ultimately, he realised that in building schools, he was making a difference to peace in the area as educated children were less likely to go off and join the Taliban. Instead, they found jobs and made a difference in their own community. Greg has now set up a charity called Pennies for Peace where children donate a penny each towards educating children all over the world.

Three Cups of Tea is a truly inspirational story of how one man can create a humanitarian movement that has a major impact in the world.

It’s also a story that shows how one man can overcome failure and adversity and through his resilience can achieve far more than he ever dreamed was possible.

How do you deal with failure?

How resilient are you?

Some of the world’s most inspirational leaders have failed and overcome it. They are  resilient. Think Nelson Mandela. Think Richard Branson. Think Mother Teresa. These are leaders who have all made mistakes, who have all encountered incredible adversity and obstacles in their way and who all kept going because they knew that what they were fighting for was worth the effort.

When do you give up and walk away?

When do you keep going because you know you are following something worth fighting for?

Putting it into practice

1. Next time you have a setback or a nagging self-doubt, consider what it is that you are aiming for.
2. Consider what needs to happen.
3. Reach out and ask for help.
4. Who inspires you as a leader for coping with failure and being resilient? How do they deal with failure?
5. What other tips do you have for coping with failure and being resilient?

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

The importance of resilience and failure

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We are a tribe of leaders who met on a year long leadership programme run by the Coaches Training Institute. Many of the  blog posts I’ve written in the last year have tracked my learning from that programme… a truly inspirational journey.

The Earth Dragons are 22 leaders from 13 countries spanning 4 continents. We cross multiple timezones from Toronto, through Europe, Dubai and Japan. We speak different languages. We’ve worked via skype, email, conference calls. We’ve co-designed and co-created a website that is an expression of us and an expression of the work we want to do in the world, the difference we want to make. We’ve done it effortlessly, with ease, with a sense of joy.

Since graduating in March, we’ve been brainstorming ideas and collectively produced this website. What I am proud of is our commitment to each other to work collaboratively together, our desire to make a difference in the world in a variety of ways and most importantly the way we work together with lightness, ease and playfulness. Work has never been so much fun.

The website is just the first step to express ourselves. The real work we are planning together is a Leadership Festival. This is 2 days of evolutionary leadership development with a difference. It will inspire leaders who attend to lead with renewed energy, aliveness, confidence, self-awareness and greater creativity.

Now that is an impact.

It’s a big promise. And we will deliver that and more.

When we dream big, it’s important to believe in those dreams in order to execute them. One thing is clear, the Earth Dragon tribe are here to execute. We are here to live out our dreams, to do work together that is aligned with our life purposes, that is an expression of the unique gifts we have to share with the world.

Bold statements. We are a bold tribe.

Our passions range from making corporations more human to working in Africa, with children, with parents, women, raising consciousness of food, teaching people to express their love, making the world we live in more sustainable, sharing the wisdom of the world.

I’m proud to belong to a tribe of leaders who I know are making a difference in the world. If you like what you see, please contact me here or any of the Earth Dragons via our website. We’d be delighted to collaborate with you.

What’s the difference you want to make in the world?

Putting it into practice

1. What’s your dream?
2. Name it. Share it. Inspire others with it. Ask for help.
3. Collaborate with others.
4. Take a first small step today.

The world needs us to express our unique gifts in the world. Shine your light.

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Launching the Earth Dragon Leadership Festival and website

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What I am most disappointed in is the apparent lack of willingness of politicians to work together to find creative solutions.

When the politicians debate in parliament on major issues, there appears to be more focus on shouting and jeering at each other and scoring points. It’s an ego-driven, testosterone filled environment that seems to be more focussed on making the opposition party look stupid and themselves look better.

These are the people we vote for and trust to run our country for us …  people who impact our lives by the very decisions they make on our behalf. It’s not surprising that women continue to be a minority in this environment and that the younger generations are increasingly less interested in what politicians of all parties have to say.

Whilst politics is perhaps one of the worst environments for egos, this pattern is repeated in business too. In the corporate world, people are often driven by personal success and short-term financial gains drive decisions. There can sometimes be a jostling for position at the expense of innovation, creativity and community.

There is another way.

We are in the middle of major transformation. People are transforming themselves; businesses are undergoing transformation to stay alive; politics must evolve too in order to be current and relevant. All of these things require leadership. We need to work together, building on each other’s ideas so that a solution can be created with the input of everyone. That’s when everyone becomes committed to its success because they feel part of the solution.

I’m currently working with a group of 22 leaders to organise a Leadership conference. What is significant about this is the way we are working together, sharing ideas, leaving egos out of the discussions. It’s so empowering, an environment full of trust, compassion and harmony, even when we disagree.

Imagine a world where politicians from all parties use the debating time to collaborate, to work together to provide solutions that transform our world, our communities, our planet, our lives. Now that’s a world worth voting for and that’s a world I’m committed to working towards.

When we let go of needing to be right or having the right answers. we can lean into those around us, we can listen more and we can work together to create innovative solutions.

Now it’s time for us to do that as a human race. Time to raise the bar on who we are and how we show up in the world and start collaborating together to make a difference.

What can you do differently to raise the bar for the human race?

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Collaboration raises the bar for the human race

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1. Are you treating people as objects or human beings?

“How are you?” says x.

“Really busy!” says y.

Y could be almost anyone. It’s such a regular response that it becomes meaningless. We’re competing over how busy we are.

When did being busy become a measure of success or value? No wonder the workplace is full of people who are stressed out and over-worked.

Your ego likes this. Your ego feeds on being the best. The busiest. Your ego believes that being busy is the same thing as being successful.

It is not.

You say you are busy when what you really mean is you are stressed. You don’t speak the truth because in many offices environments, it’s not cool to say you’re stressed. It’s not cool to turn down work.

You conform to how you think you should be, rather than how you really want to be. The real answer to the “How are you?” question is: “I’m stressed (because I’m too busy and I’m overworked).”

How much value are you adding with the things that you choose to do?

Checking your emails every 5 minutes might make you busy but does it really add value?  Does doing everything that someone asks you to do add value? What if you said No?

Are you constantly juggling things to do, never quite finishing them or constantly multi-tasking to try and get everything done in parallel?

Leave the juggling to the clowns. It’s time for a change. It’s time to be a leader.

We can all be leaders in our own lives. It requires us to do something different. Being a leader means making powerful conscious choices that serve you and your world. It means letting go of the things that no longer serve you and the things that do not add value, even if someone else thinks you should do them. It requires you to challenge the status quo, to step out from the masses and dare to be different.

How much of a busy clown are you?

What will it take for you to be a leader?

Putting it into practice

1. Consider the things you are doing that make you busy.
2. Let go of one small thing this week and notice the impact. Most people find that when they stop doing something they’ve always done, nobody even notices or cares.
3. Try it and see.

Stop being a busy clown. Start being a leader. Nobody said it was easy but your free time will certainly be greater.

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Stop being a busy clown and start being a leader

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In reality, the small things we do actually are the big things… in terms of having an impact.

For example, I visit  a local residential home for the elderly with my dog Gracie as part of the Pets as Therapy charity. We’ve only been a few times and already the residents recognise us when we arrive and everyone’s faces light up. It’s really heart-warming and I realise that an hour and a half of my time every two weeks is making a huge difference to people’s lives. People are opening up, smiling, feeling loved, having physical contact.

This is a big deal. A tiny thing to do and a big impact.

And it got me thinking about all the other seemingly minor things I could be doing or already am doing that have a bigger impact than I realise.

What minor things are you putting off that could have an impact?

What minor things are you already doing that have a major impact?

We can sometimes get caught up in the next big thing. We think that to make a difference, we have to do something huge. The fact is that all over the world, people are making a difference, in many ways, some big, some small.

So it’s time to reach out, to connect with others, to start making a difference in any way you know how. You have talents and skills that are desperately needed. How will you use them?

Putting it into practice

1. Consider what you stand for. What 3 words sum up what you want for you and for the world?
2. Find small ways to bring more of those things into your life.
3. Notice the impact those things have and celebrate your magnificence.

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

How minor things can make a big difference

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You only need to watch a rabbit in headlights to know how fear can sometimes cause us to do things that don’t serve us.

Fear paralyses us. It makes us play small. It makes us show up inauthentically. It makes us say and do things that we don’t really mean.

Our fears bind us so tightly that we often dare not admit them even to ourselves. We even convince ourselves that we are not afraid. We convince ourselves that we  don’t have a choice… even though we always do.

Fear keeps us doing the same job even when we don’t enjoy it. It keeps us believing that we have to continue to earn the same amount of money, even though it is not making us happy. It stops us from stepping out of our comfort zone and really living the life that we know we can live.

Most people don’t even know what their fears are. They don’t realise that these fears are actually running their lives or they make excuses about not really wanting to do something anyway.

What is your fear?

Where is it holding you back from living the life you want?

For a long time, I was paralysed by fear. The personal transformation I’ve been going through and the major changes I’ve been making in my life have left me breathless and often paralysed by fear. There is a desire to go back to what is known. To do what I’ve done before… because I know I can. It feels safe. Comfortable. Even when it is actually uncomfortable.

So recently, I’ve been facing my fears, being much more bold. Taking risks. I know I am truly living when I step into the face of fear and I do it anyway. Not knowing where I am going, not knowing if I can do what I want to do and trusting that I am doing it with good intentions and a willingness to learn from the experience. I’m willing to fail and of course I want to succeed.

And with each thing I do, the fear falls away as I realise that it was not so scary after all and I realise that I have more inner strength to do even more next time. And every time I fail, it’s smaller than I ever thought it might be and the learning is so great that it more than makes up for it.

So now, when I’m not sure if I want to do something, I ask myself if fear is standing in the way and if it is, I do it anyway. Which is why I am now writing a book, running workshops in countries all over Europe with co-leaders I’ve never worked with before, presenting at a coaching conference in March, doing a physical challenge (more of that on my Coniston Challenge Blog), challenging my local village to reconsider the way we build social community and running an outdoor networking group at work, despite everyone thinking it’s a crazy idea.

You see, fear held me back on all of these things… once I accepted that fear was present and took the power back into my core, I was able to make the decision without fear’s influence. Then things started to happen!

Putting it into practice

1. What do you want to do but are afraid to do?
2. Know that whatever happens, you can handle it. Look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I can handle it”.
3. Find one small thing that you are afraid to do and do it. It will give you the confidence to do more next time.
4. Share your experiences below.

Name your fears and let them go. Start making decisions consciously, in service of  you living a life of fulfilment. It’s easier than you might think…. and it’s challenging too. What a wonderful paradox that is!

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Releasing the fears that bind us

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There was virtually nothing that I would say No to. If I was asked to work longer hours, I did. If I was given some awful challenging project that nobody else wanted to do, I did it. I put myself out to please others. And that surprises me because I’m normally someone who speaks their mind.

So when I was confronted for the first time with this question, it seemed rather strange. You mean… I get to choose what I want?  What about the impact of saying no? What if I lost my job because I said no? What if I didn’t get the next payrise or promotion?

Then it dawned on me. I was being driven by external influences.

Consider the negotiation of a house. The buyer wants it at the cheapest price, the seller wants it at the highest price. There comes a point when both parties either agree on the sale or are willing to walk away. So there is a cutoff point or a boundary at which you are willing to walk away.

You can apply this to anything. For example, your boss tells you that he or she wants you to  do a particular project and it involves doing things you don’t like, like longer hours, more time away from home, more responsibility, less responsibility even. Do you do it and fight it all the way or do you sit them down and explain what your needs are? What is the boundary here? At what point do you say no? And what is the impact of that?

Too many leaders in business feel driven to do things that they don’t want to do. They believe they have no choice. They have to do it or risk losing their job. The problem with this is that it breeds a culture of people who say Yes to everything and before you know it, the working conditions become intolerable for everyone. We are creating our own reality by not having boundaries.

So if you are asked to achieve the impossible, it’s time to start setting boundaries. It’s time to start saying no. Time to start standing up for your rights. Time to start being creative about what is achievable and more importantly reasonable.

Where do you set boundaries?

Where are you doing things that you don’t want to because you have not set boundaries?

Putting it into practice

1. Consider a situation that you are not happy with, where you feel put upon or where things are not working for you.
2. What are you tolerating?
3. What are your boundaries? Where are they being overstepped?
4. Set your boundaries and be honest with others about your needs. Make conscious choices about how you want to live.

It’s time to stop walking blindly through life, being driven by external circumstances. It’s time to start living your life the way you want it. Of course, this is challenging. There is a price to be paid for living consciously. For every choice you make, there is an impact to be considered. Be prepared to deal with that and choose consciously.

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Setting boundaries to meet your needs

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Who am I as a leader?

What is the impact I want to have?

These are challenging questions. Challenging because it is questioning my fundamental purpose in life, my fundamental role as a leader. Challenging because in asking these questions, I realise that who I am as a leader is not always who other people want me to be.

Martin Luther King, Edward Kennedy, Nelson Mandela, Bob Geldof, Bono. These people are inspirational leaders. They were visionary. They challenged the status quo. They upset people along the way and they carried on because they knew that what they were fighting for was important… to them and the world.

And they inspire me. Oh they really do. They inspire me to know that I can be fallible, that I can have faults, make mistakes and that I can trust enough in myself and what I am doing to carry on.

I am currently leading four new projects (I call them leader quests):

1. A physical challenge quest to improve my own health and fitness – you can read more about this at my Coniston Challenge blog
2. An outdoor network to get people in business in the fresh air to improve their health and wellbeing and increase their productivity
3. A community quest to build a vibrant community spirit in my local village
4. A World Wise Leadership quest which involves collaborating with 2 other leaders to take the wisdom of the world and share it across cultures, through a video documentary, a book and workshops.

More on all of these in future posts. The key thing is that I’ve been considering who I am as a leader in those quests and the impact I want to have. I’ve realised that as a leader, I challenge the status quo; I challenge limiting beliefs – my own and others; I stretch beyond my comfort zone for the sake of making a difference in the world and I challenge others to do the same.

At my best, I’m a visionary. I’m bold. I wake myself and others up to being extraordinary. I want us to achieve our highest potential. I really want people to see that there are other ways of being in the world, other ways of seeing things and that when we step out of our comfort zone, we really can achieve extraordinary things – things that everyone believes are impossible. I am a leader with a huge heart, I love unconditionally. I am totally committed, connected and laser sharp. I’m a free spirit and playful. I’m serious too.

My impact is that I raise people’s consciousness to a higher level. I wake people up. I inspire them to be authentic and motivate them to reach out for more. I enable them to connect with their own true nature and to connect with others too.

Through my coaching and leadership work, I empower people to set themelves free of constraints and show up authentically, letting go of fears and limiting beliefs. I inspire people to step up to being a leader in their lives because it’s important and because the world needs us to be ourselves, to bring all of ourselves. The world needs us to show up.

And there is a price to be paid in all of this because I don’t always have the impact that I want to have. Sometimes people get scared and reject me or run away because sometimes being challenged and raising our consciousness is frightening too.

Someone recently spoke to me of an artist who explained how he brought all of himself to his painting and the way the brush moved on the canvas was so precise and exactly where he wanted it and the way he wanted it.

He realised that he needed to bring all of himself into his work in order to produce his best paintings. He also realised that not everyone would love his paintings and that’s the price he paid for being colourful.

That’s the impact we can have when we are at our best. We are bright and colourful. Some will love our painting and others will not. And yet if we keep our true selves hidden, afraid to bring all of ourselves into the world, we end up with a blank canvas that is not really expressing us and that nobody wants to see.

What colour are you as a leader?

What impact do you want to have?

Putting it into practice

1. Consider who are you as a leader.
2. Consider the impact you want to have.
3. What is the price that you have to pay?

I urge you to consider these questions. They are challenging. It’s up to us to paint our own canvas in the way that is authentic for each of us, knowing that not everyone will like the colours that we paint.

Be colourful. Paint your canvas. Be uniquely you, the way that only you can be.

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Who are you as a leader and what is your impact?

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Outside, my garden is also a mess. I didn’t make time to do the usual autumn clearout so there are remains of dead plants and leaves everywhere.

So it’s no surprise to me that my mind is also jumbled. It’s reflecting my physical environment. (Or is it the other way round?)

My head is full of exciting project ideas, people I want to work with, ideas about a book I want to write, plans for my future but also old projects that I don’t enjoy, things that I need to do that are a chore. And I notice how I am hopping from one thing to another, unable to settle on one thing at a time.

It’s difficult to be effective when everything is cluttered.

And yet…. I wonder if there is another way of looking at this. As I look at the garden, covered in frost, I notice that there are more birds around this year who are enjoying the seeds from the flowers I didn’t deadhead. Almost certainly in the next few weeks they will also be coming back for material to build their nests with so I can expect their visits to continue for some time.

As I start to clear up my desk, I notice that there is a lot of work associated with a particular project that I am not really interested in. I’ve been letting it pile up because it has been too much of a chore to deal with it as it comes in.

So I wonder if the mess is part of the process. Part of highlighting the things that no longer serve us, part of letting go of the old and allowing the new to emerge. Not knowing what that new is… until it appears.

Now I am clear about the projects I am letting go of and that is creating space for the new projects to sort themselves out.

And I wonder if there is a way of allowing things to sort themnselves out naturally, a way that clarity appears from amongst the chaos without having to search hard for it?

What chaos is in your life and what is it telling you?

What clarity trying to emerge?

Putting it into practice

1. Notice where things are chaotic, a mess or jumbled… either physically or in your head.
2. What is the message in the chaos?
3. What are you wanting to let go of and what does that create space for?

Allow the chaos to be what it is. Let it rest and trust that clarity will emerge when the time is right.

Oh… and if you must have a New Year’s resolution, how about: Quit feeling guilty about the mess (or anything for that matter)!

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Finding clarity in the chaos

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Sadness…

Sadness because at great expense, global leaders came together to discuss a really important topic, something that is pivotal to society and our future and they failed to come to a satisfactory agreement.

Sadness because I watched countries pointing the finger at each other, trying to find someone to blame for the poor deal.

Sadness that this situation is replicated all over the world in governments and businesses. We look to the executive leadership teams to decide what we need to do and agree on the road we need to follow. We expect them to have all the answers to things that are beyond anything we have seen before, the answers to complex issues. Everyone has a different point of view, a different way of doing things, different agendas. Everyone blames everyone else. It seems an impossible situation.

…and hope

Hope that Copenhagen raised an important topic to the height of not just the political and social agenda but raised awareness of it to the masses. For more than two weeks, climate change has been the major topic of conversation. That can only be a good thing. It means that we care.  That we are starting to wake up to needing to look after the planet we live on. And in raising awareness, we become more conscious of the choices we are making on a daily basis.

Hope that people are starting to realise that every one of us must play a part. Instead of sitting around waiting for the global leaders to decide what we must do, every one of us  has a responsibility to look after the planet we live on, to preserve it for future generations. To personally reduce our waste, our pollution, our energy use.

Hope that our attention will go way beyond anything that was being discussed in Copenhagen. I believe that every one of us has a responsibility to live ethically and sustainably and in harmony…. with our own selves, with each other and with the planet. This is a really important point. That we live with compassion for ourselves, for each other and for the planet.

Taking action

One of the common complaints I hear in corporations is that people are expecting  the executive leadership team to do something to make their lives better.  We sit around and blame someone else, we wait for someone “at the top” to sort things out for us. Well, it’s time to start acting. It’s up to each of us to do our bit. To say no to things that are unjust, unethical and unsustainable. When we agree to do things that are not congruent with what we believe in, we are lacking integrity, we are colluding with the system.

Where are you colluding with the system?

How can you take responsibility and start taking action?

Of course, I’m not letting governments and executive leadership teams off the hook either. This is a joint responsbility, where every one of us can be a leader in every thing we do. So like the Greenpeace advert in the photo above…. don’t be a politician. Be a leader.

Putting it into practice

1. Consider an issue that you want resolved by “someone at the top”.
2. What small thing can you do to improve the situation?
3. Take action today.

Politicians talk… leaders act. Be a leader. Act today.

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Taking personal responsibility for action

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It’s surprising how much change there has been and how much I have learned along the way. I hope my regular readers have enjoyed learning alongside me.

Here’s my summary of my key leadership lessons in 2009:

January – Creating the change we want to see in the world

Obama was inaugurated and set the tone for the year. He opened people up to possibilities, to dreaming what is possible rather than fighting the things we don’t like. He inspired me to realise that if we want to create the change we want to see in the world, our own small world or the larger global world, then we need to start acting. We need to do our bit. I realised that I was not making the best use of my talents and I started to change course.

What is the change you want to see in the world and what step can you take towards it?

February – Using nature as an inspiration for leadership

I joined a blogging course run by Daniel Scocco and Leaders by Nature was born. I became aware of how much I am inspired by nature and how it can teach us as leaders. I’m passionate about leaders connecting with nature. By that, I mean I want to see leaders connecting with their own true nature, their inner selves.

I want leaders to develop skills to connect better with each other, to learn to understand each other so that we can build harmonious relationships and work together for common goals. I realise how much nature can show us the way to be in rhythm with our natural world. Of course, this requires us to slow down and notice what is happening in nature.

What leadership lesson can nature teach you?

March – being bold creates opportunities

I wrote a blog about being bold and was inspired to take a year out of my corporate life and devote myself to building my coaching and leadership development business. In hindsight, I realise this was not so much a bold step as a natural step and yet at the time, it felt enormous… to let go of my career, to let go of the definition of who I thought I was. In letting go of being defined by the role and career I had, I opened myself up to greater opportunities and personal transformation.

What can you let go of to enable you to open up to opportunities?

April – leading with love

I started my year’s sabbatical and turned my attention to coaching and leadership and developed my blog. In doing so, I started to realise how little love there is in the workplace and how much more enjoyable our daily work is when it is built around love. I feel fortunate enough to be running a business that has love at its core. I love my clients and champion them along the way as they evolve naturally. When we see each other as human beings and learn to love each other, the workplace becomes a better place to be.

What happens when you allow yourself to love your colleagues?

May – being authentic

I started a year long Leadership course run by the Coaches Training Institute, a truly transformational journey which I am still on. After the first week, I started to understand the essence of me at a deeper level and learned to connect to the core of who I am and what I stand for in the world.

I realised how much I had been domesticated throughout my life and had lost my authenticity. In May, I regained it and built the foundations for my continuing growth throughout 2009.

Who are you when you show up fully in your authenticity?

June – the power of asking for help

I started to reach out and  ask for help with new projects. In doing so, I learned far more than just asking for help. I learned how to build deeper rapport with others and create greater intimacy. By asking people for help, I was giving them the chance to give me something. I opened up to being vulnerable, not needing to have all the answers and that was a gift to those who were able to help me.

Where can you ask for help? What is the gift you give someone else by asking for help?

July – mending broken relationships

I learned how to connect with someone who I did not originally have rapport with. I had made all sorts of assumptions up about her and had withdrawn. I learned how to lean into building rapport with someone with whom I felt I had little in common and in doing so, I learned my greatest gift of the year… the power of connections. I learned how easy it is to connect when we let go of needing to be right.

What broken relationship can you mend by leaning in and connecting?

August – the courage to speak the truth

I started to stretch into speaking my truth much more. I’ve always considered myself to be honest and direct. At this point in the year, I started to speak the hard truth, the things I knew people didn’t want to hear. I dared to be rejected and found that in most cases, I built deeper connections with people because I was courageous enough to be honest.

What truth  do you want to speak?

September – daring to fail

I learned that I can push past the “I can’t”. I realised that I say “I can’t” when what I really mean is “I don’t know how”. In daring to fail, spectacularly, I started to do things I’d never dared do before.

I let go of my self-limiting beliefs, the stories that I had previously told myself that hold me back. I learned to be open to every situation, to let go of needing to know how things look before embarking on trying something new.

What story do you have that holds you back and keeps you playing safe?

October – finding our natural rhythm of life

By taking some time out and spending time in nature, I saw the inspiration that nature offers us in everyday life. I realised how much my new life this year is in rhythm with the seasons and in time with my own natural rhythm of life. I’ve moved from rushing around frantically to being comfortable with my own pace and saying no to things that I have no space or time for.

What’s the natural rhythm of your life?

November – being liberated from the fear of rejection

In speaking my truth, people sometimes withdraw. It can be too powerful, too much. I learned how to be ok with that. To see each “rejection” as a temporary withdrawing. To trust that I come from a place of love and compassion and that those who want to engage with me, will stay, even when I call them forth. I no longer need to run in fear of rejection. I can embrace it, welcome it, learn from it. It’s more empowering to look at rejection in this way and more liberating.

What can you learn from rejection? How can you embrace it?

December – 2009 in review

So here I am looking back at 2009. What a ride. I feel as though I’ve transformed and evolved more this year than ever before. I started the year unhappy with my corporate life, running my coaching business in parallel and feeling drained of energy.

I end 2009 feeling solid and grounded and centred. I have a deep inner knowing about who I am and what I stand for. I have clarity around the impact I want to have on the world. That’s a huge achievement in one year. And I can say that with such confidence.

Gratitude for 2009

I am grateful for so many things in my life, in particular my amazing husband who stands so strong beside me on our journey together.  With him by my side, I trust that there is wisdom in every experience, that my vibrancy and aliveness is infectious and that I can have the impact on the world that I want to have.

To my clients, family and friends, I love you all deeply.

To my regular readers, I love and welcome your comments. When we engage in dialogue, my blog and life is enriched. I hope for more and deeper connections in 2010.

To those who are dropping by for the first time, you are most welcome and I greet you with open arms and would love to hear your stories.

I wish you all  health and happiness and look forward to sharing our evolution together in 2010.

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

12 lessons in leadership from 2009

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When we make a mistake, we can choose to see it as an opportunity for future growth and personal development or we can choose to see it as a failure. I have to remember that because it’s easy to forget.

I had my first singing lesson yesterday. I was a bit nervous because I’d never sung in front of anyone before. My teacher recorded my voice so I could take the recording away and listen to it and learn from it. When I listen back to me singing, I hear all the tuning errors (there were more than I thought there would be!!!). I hear all the things that I do with my voice that I don’t want to do.

In my head, I know how I want it to sound and it’s not like it actually sounds! It’s really easy to be critical. I could easily say it sounded terrible. Yet this is not a persepctive that serves me well. It’s the perspective that is most likely to make me want to give up.

Instead, I’m choosing another perspective…. in fact, several perspectives.

The first perspective is enjoyment and fun. I really enjoyed myself and had fun. From this perspective, it doesn’t really matter whether I sing in tune or not. The point is that I went along, sang and really enjoyed myself. It was so much fun. That makes me want to go back and try again. It’s a perspective that means the end result is not that important. I’m not planning to release an album or anything so as long as I have fun and my teacher doesn’t fire me, then why not go back and continue to have fun? That feels so liberating.

My second perspective is learning and growth. I’m just starting and have a lot to learn and I’m excited about where I’m going with this new journey.  I heard that I have a good tone, with some colour and opportunity to develop it much more. It’s a perspective that means there is more out there for me. That feels really empowering, like it’s opening up the possibilities. That anything (and nothing) is possible. It is whatever it is. The focus is on the growth and the journey.

My third perspective is liberation from failure. I was more confident that I expected to be; I was more willing to make a mess of it than I normally am in other situations. This feels like I’m growing in different ways. In fact, maybe that’s my first lesson…. not to improve my singing but to let go of needing to be good at something. Now that’s liberating. To just enjoy the experience and not have to achieve anything. No goal. Just pure pleasure.

Those 3 perspectives serve me so much better. Now I feel empowered, liberated, excited, open to having pure simple fun for no other reason than the simple pleasure of it.  How much more empowering that is than the original  (albeit very brief) perspective of: “that was terrible, I might as well give up”  which just feels draining and pointless.

So for now, I’m happily singing out of tune. I’m having fun. I hope to improve. I’m sure I can. I’m trusting that I will. I’m excited about my next lesson. More than that, I’m busting through an old pattern of behaviour that used to have me focussing on my failures. Now I’m choosing a different perspective… one that serves me much better, one that opens up my world. How liberating that is.

What perspective is no longer serving you?

What perspective would you like to have?

Putting it into practice

1. Consider where you beat yourself up.
2. What perspective do you have about that situation?
3. What other perspective would serve you better?
4. Do let me know how you get on by sharing your comments.

If you want to know more about perspectives and how they can help bust through old patterns of behaviour and ways of thinking, feel free to contact me to discuss.

With love,
Jude. x

Post from: Leaders By Nature

Exploring different perspectives

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