I had the opportunity to participate in the BlogHer Book Club once again. When I first received the book, I did not know what to expect. There was a small blurb about the book included in the correspondence from BlogHer and it looked like it was not going to be light reading like the last book I read for the book club.

The book is The Rules of Inheritance by Claire Bidwell Smith. It is a beautifully written memoir, broken into five parts, the five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Claire loses both of her parents to cancer before she is the age of thirty. Both of her parents are diagnosed with cancer when she is fourteen years old. The loss of her parents shapes her teens and twenties.

The story is a heart-wrenching account of Claire’s loss of her parents and how she copes with the loss. The book is honest and real. I cried through several chapters, as I felt what she must have felt through so many of her life experiences. Claire’s recollections are raw and gritty—as she grows from wounded, scared, and alone, to giving, confident, and incredibly happy. I loved this book!

The book is not written in chronological order. It is written with a series of vignettes that fit within the context of Claire’s grief, which does not happen in chronological order of Claire’s life. At first, I had a difficult time following the format, however as the book Claire recounted her experiences of her teens and twenties, losing her parents. It all came together by the middle of the book and made perfect sense by the time I reached the last word on the last page.

The best part of the book was the last part, Acceptance. While this book does not end with a fairy tale ending, it is a beautiful ending that still continues in real life on her blog. Claire, nonetheless, overcomes the difficult times of her life, finding peace, happiness, and embracing her own family (her husband, her daughter, her new in-laws, and her extended family). She accepts the losses in her life and finds peace in helping others with their grief.

Claire now works as a therapist, specializing in grief and lives in Los Angeles with her daughter and husband. I have a great respect for the woman Claire has become and would highly recommend this book—just make sure you are ready with a box of tissue!

Disclosure:This is a paid review for BlogHer Book Club but the opinions expressed are my own.

I am one of three Mamavation moms this campaign.

I am so incredibly grateful right now! The votes have been tabulated and I have become the next Mamavation mom! There were three women chosen. @AndreaEmilien was one of the moms chosen and she has become a good friend of mine through this campaign. You will be able to follow her journey on her blog, too. I do not know Lolo very well yet, but she is also one of the Mamavation moms this campaign as well. You can follow her journey on her blog here. There were awesome women competing for this opportunity and I look forward to following their journeys as the campaign continues. I wish we all could have continued on this journey together, but their journeys do not end here!

Tomorrow, the hard work begins. There is paperwork. There are workouts. There will be video logs. There will be weigh-ins (DUN, DUN, DUN!). There will be blog posts. This will not be easy, especially because my marathon training will be going on simultaneously, along with the everyday challenges of life. I am thrilled for the opportunities and I am over the moon that I will have the chance of a lifetime to change my life!

Here are some of the photos from our Saturday run. They are courtesy of my long time, real-life friend Dani, who is also in the Rockin n’ Runnin training program. She gave me permission to use these because my cell phone camera decided it did not want to take a picture of the beautiful scenery on Saturday.

I want to start this post by reminding everyone that the Mamavation Mom voting ends tomorrow. If you have not voted yet, please go HERE to vote for @mommycanrun. There are awesome girls running for this and I am proud to be in this competition. No matter the outcome, I have met some incredible women in the Sistahood!
…

Saturday was my weekly long run. I was nervous and I had to drive 40 minutes to North Coastal San Diego County for the run along Highway 101. It was completely seaside and I was completely enamored by the view. The weather was superb for running. It was not too hot and not too cold. The ocean views were beautiful and reminded me of why we live in Southern California.

I was careful to have breakfast before I left. The jury is still out whether or not that was such a great plan. I started out okay, but got about a mile in when I got nauseous. I spent some time on the roadside deciding if I would puke or not. Someone stopped to check on me and I got embarrassed. I quickly assured them I was fine and got back on the road.

I struggled. This seems to be a theme with me lately, nonetheless I got through it. I ran 5.5 miles with relatively little incidence.

It is all coming along. It is tough! I am feeling the pressure from all the demands: running, hazing, campaign, and life in general. Just keep swimming.

I was recently interviewed for my hometown newspaper. Today there is an article about my journey to health: Here.

An article I wrote was also featured on Mamalode! I would love if you would stop over there and leave some comments!

Tuesday night running with the track club is always one of my favorite during the marathon training program. The workouts, while difficult are guaranteed to be fun. In fact, if you asked me which of the track workouts are my favorite, I would probably say all of them.

After my long run this weekend, I was as much optimistic as I was discouraged. I knew (hoped) the track workout would make it all better. Our workout was a 200 meter relay. We would run 200 meters (half the track), then complete calisthenics (jumping jacks, squats, crunches, or whatever we chose) while we waited for our “teammate” to tag us for our half lap. We did 12 full laps.

I felt good! I felt energized! I was confident! I had a blast!

I love that every time I go to the track I meet someone new. Tonight, the stars lined up for me to give someone else the encouragement they needed tonight. I met a woman that was so nervous and unsure she would be able to complete the marathon. I gave her the same pep talk I would have wanted on my long run this weekend.

She kept telling me, “26 miles is such a long distance. I am so out of shape. What if I can’t do it? What if I realize at 18 miles that I can’t do 26?”

Something clicked for me! I realized I was having the same self-doubts she was—that many people that attempt this colossal endeavor also feel every single time they lace up their running shoes. I encouraged her to focus on each run one at a time and not worry about the long runs down the road. It was my light bulb moment. I have been worrying about things that are so far into the future I have no control over. If I put the miles in, everything else will fall into place.

You will not know what you are capable of unless you try.

The bonus for me was that by encouraging this courageous woman that was feeling very vulnerable, actually was exactly what I needed to quiet my own fears. I received a very important lesson tonight. Sometimes cheering for others is the best blessing one can give themselves. I am feeling blessed today!

This week was one of the toughest weeks I have had on the fitness and weight loss front since I (re)started at the beginning of the year. I had a false sense that everything was going to be wonderful and easy the first week of this year. I had a positive outlook. I lost seven pounds. I began a fantastical journey to weight loss, good health, and started marathon training. This time, everything was going to go according to plans.

This week, I realized that you do not always get your way—or weigh—as the case may be. I did not lose a pound. In fact, I tacked on two pounds for good measure. I worked my butt off and the scale failed to fall. Instead, it is plus two. I struggled.

Saturday, I ran my long run. I had 50 minutes scheduled and decided to run an hour and do five easy miles. Instead, I ran four of the most difficult miles I can remember.

The run started out okay, except for the migraine I had for two straight days. I got about ¾ of a mile in before my shins and calves proceeded to burn like crazy. I found a curb and tried to stretch. The pain was unbearable. All of a sudden, I got completely overwhelmed about the proverbial road ahead of me. I realized at that moment how incredibly out of shape I am. What if I cannot complete a marathon? What if I do not lose any weight? I have a 10K slated for Super Bowl weekend. Can I complete six miles? Dear God, how long is it going to take me to run six miles?

I started crying right there in the middle of the road. Like a blubbering idiot, I am crying and praying in the street. I was begging God to help me to get strong. I do not know if it was out of utter frustration, not eating properly, PMS, a combination of the three, or what exactly ailed me. Nevertheless, I completely lost it.

I finally got it together and accepted my run for what it was: lots of walking, lots of jogging, with some running sprinkled in here and there. I managed to run/walk/jog four miles in 60 minutes. According to the coach we are to only concern ourselves with time on our feet. For that, I met the goal although I failed at the high expectations I had set for myself.

I set myself up for failure with the unrealistic expectations. As a result, I ran about 15 minutes slower than I ran the same mileage the previous week. Had I not freaked out like a FREAK I may have experienced a different outcome. If there is a lesson to be learned here, I presume it is to stop being so fixated on where I need to be and really focus on doing what I can in this very moment– easier said than done.

I am cancer free, my health is improving, and I am getting into shape. It may not be a quick, easy road and it might even get messy sometimes. Sometimes it is not a perfect process. Sometimes it is about the journey itself. This journey, for me, is not going to be unicorns and rainbows, even if I would like it to be.

…

Have you voted for the next Mamavation Mom? I am a finalist! Please go HERE, watch my video, and vote for @mommycanrun.

Tonight I found out that I am a finalist for Mamavation mom. Woooo hooooo! I am so excited! Please go HERE and vote for @mommycanrun. I would love this opportunity! Prepare to be inspired!

What is a Mamavation mom, you ask? According to Mamavation:

Mamavation Moms lose weight in a boot camp experience without having to leave the home. They are set up with support, tools, and professional coaches to help transform mind and body on this journey. As they are learning healthy living and losing weight they live their lives on a stage for seven weeks. The campaign becomes a virtual docudrama with real challenges and victories as they become the stars of the campaign. To become a Mamavation Mom, an application needs to be completed, then 5 women are selected as finalists. Those finalists go up for a public vote and the two winners are announced during the Twitter Launch Party on Jan 30th.

It was a long two weeks, while everyone watched us get our butts kicked. We had a specified workout each day. We alternated arms one day and legs the next. On top of it, there were hazing exercises each day, from the fabulous Fit Mom…In Training. She busted our humps each and everyday with different exercises, including burpees, planks, jumping jacks, jumping rope, and various other killer exercises. There were times when I wanted to cry. There were times when I was not sure I was going to make it, but I pressed on. I did it! Today, they chose five finalists out of eleven of us. I was one of the lucky finalists!

Now, I need your help! Please go HERE and vote for me, @mommycanrun.

Today, I was contacted on Twitter that someone found my lost pedometer at the track workout on Tuesday. My faith in humanity has been restored. That is one of the most awesome things ever! I wonder why it was not turned into the coach, with the microphone and bullhorn at practice. I will find out tomorrow night when I recover it. I am completely moved by the gesture to return it and cannot complain. I will have a back-up, since I replaced the other one last week.

….

Allison and I went to Knotts Berry Farm with my family again today. We go every year when they have Fire and Police tribute days. We have been going for about sixteen years now, at least once a year. Typically, we go during the month of December, however, they extended the days through the end of January. This was the second time we went in two weeks and it was a blast!

My daddy and I on Xcellerator. I was scared beyond belief, even if I look calm!

My baby brother and his fiancée on Xcellerator

Unfortunately, Mr. Bear had to work. “Someone has to pay for all this shit,” as Mr. Bear says (stolen from my witty father). My brother, his fiancée, his fiancée’s mom, his children, my sister, her boyfriend, and my parents were there with Allie and I. I did something somewhat out of character. I rode all the scary, crazy rides, like this one, and this one, and this one, and this one. Wow! My heart is still beating fast.

My baby brother and my niece on the Silver Bullet

Allie and I rode Montezooma’s Revenge. She was clearly scared to ride, although she is not afraid to get on roller coasters. She is definitely a thrill seeker and she wanted to ride. At the same time, she was unsure. I could see the panic in her face the last few seconds before the train left the station. She wanted to know what it would feel like to go upside-down. She had many questions. I brushed her hair aside to look into her beautiful green eyes, while patting her tiny knee and rubbing her willowy arm, feigning my own bravery and endeavoring to calm her fears.

The ride left the station and went into the upside-down loop, then to the end of the track. The ride then reverses it direction, backwards, through the upside-down loop again.

I hear, from my six year old, “HOLY CRAP! I LOVE THIS RIDE!”

She is six. Oh my God! It was not exactly the right time for a teachable moment. I let it slide and tried not to completely burst out laughing.

…

I managed to get 22,770 steps in today. Most of it was from walking around the amusement park and some of it was from the workout I had to get in once I got home. I had to be back home at 7:00 p.m. for Mamavation T.V. Of course, the Orange County traffic did not allow that. I digress. I got three miles in on the treadmill and actually enjoyed it. I hate the treadmill. Tonight was great fun though. At home, I did the Mamavation hazing workout and the the two week challenge, workout. I cried. Not kidding. There were tears. It hurt. It was hard. I wanted it to stop. Then, I finished and felt a million times better.

The treadmill was not so bad tonight. I found it more tolerable to run longer stretches without walking. I ran 1.25 miles without stopping. Then, an eighth of a mile walk. Then, .75 mile run. Then, an eighth of a mile walk. Then, a half mile run. I did not find it as difficult to run in the 10:45-11:30 range. It is slow and steady, nonetheless it is progress.

It was a beautiful day today. Finders are not keepers. I am getting stronger by the day. I cannot wait to see what the future holds.

What a journey the past couple of weeks have been! First of all, I have lost N I N E pounds! I cannot believe it! I am retaining a lot of water, presumably from the muscle break down and rebuilding from all the working out I have been doing. I only lost two pounds this week, which is small compared to last week. Two pounds? Damn right, I will take it! I think there is a bigger loss on the horizon. I have noticed changes in the way everything fits. I am letting my clothes be my method of measure.

My first week of marathon training was slightly challenging. I am trying to accept my current fitness level, all while attempting to change it. I can barely run a full mile without stopping and that is playing games with my head. I need to get out there and do it. Speed, endurance, and distance will come later. Also, fitting running in with the busy schedule is difficult.

Reality check: My schedule will always be busy. I need to figure out how to organize my priorities and fit everything in. I recently heard, “If you want to know what a person’s priorities are and what is important to them, look at what they spend the most time doing.” It is so true. If your priority and commitment is to family, you make time for them. If your priority is your faith, you make time for it. If your priority is good health and fitness, then spend your time tending to your health and fitness. Words mean little. Actions speak volumes. Message received.

The Mamavation Two Week Challenge continues to kick my butt. It has been a humbling experience. I have a lot of work to do to get my fitness back in order. On the other hand, I powered through it all and came out much stronger this week. I thoroughly enjoyed the kickboxing routines. The sit-ups made me curse, yet I appreciated the firmness of core muscles. The burpees made me cry and gave me a sense of accomplishment.

I am inspired daily by the amazing women at Mamavation. The support, the advice, the encouragement, and the resources are quite nearly overwhelming. I feel so blessed to be a part of this group and to be sharing my journey with them. Thank you to friends and family that have supported me in this process. Stay tuned next week for the link to vote for me as the next Mamavation Mom.

I have been busting my hump the past two weeks of the new year. My eating has been on point. My exercise has been KILLER! I have been doing all the things I know I need to, in order to make progress.

I had a little non-scale-victory the other day. I noticed that I could actually see my belly button when I looked down. It was a big deal for me. My stomach has been so bulging and jiggly for the past several months. All I could see when I tried to look down was my big, white belly. Finally, I can see my belly button! It really is the little changes that sometimes mean so much.

Thursday night, I started feeling a little under the weather. I was achy all over. My body hurt. I was nauseous. I had the worst migraine. It was pretty awful. I decided to tough it out and go to a blogger function downtown with some of my very favorite San Diego blogger ladies. I was glad I went. It is always a good time hanging out with the San Diego local bloggers. I never regret it. Still, I was feeling run down and felt something coming on.

Friday, I went into my daughter’s classroom. I could barely get through it. I felt so awful. I ended up cutting out about 30 minutes early. When I got home, I put my feet up and slept like Rip Van Winkle. The headache was crushing! I slept for nearly 16 hours off and on. I missed my marathon training run at 6:00 this morning.

We went to Allison’s soccer game this morning with my in-laws. We went for lunch and then went to the park when we got back. I made up all the exercises I needed to for the Mamavation campaign. I made up my long run from the morning. This was my workout:

4 mile run
100 burpees
100 sit-ups
45 second planks x3
Side planks 45 seconds x3
15 glute kickbacks each side x3
15 crunches x3
15 side kicks, each side x3
15 back kicks, each side x3
15 kick and lunge, each leg
5 sets of 10 cross punches, each side
15 push-ups x3
15 shoulder press x3
15 dumbell curls x3
15 lateral raise x3
15 tricep kickbacks x3
15 hammer dumbell curls x3
15 french presses x3

The burpees were the toughest. I had to break them up because they really were challenging. My arms were shaking. My butt hurt. I was sweating like you would not believe. It took me nearly 3 hours to complete everything from start to finish. At the end of it, I am tired. However, I am incredibly proud of where I am from where I was just a short three weeks ago.

I know this is going to be a difficult journey, yet I know I can do this! I have all the support in the world I need to be successful!

In nine days, the voting starts for the Mamavation campaign. I hope I have your vote!

Please help me out by tweeting out the following message:

Hey @bookieboo! I want @mommycanrun to be the next #Mamavation Mom. She has my support! http://bit.ly/aorv3Y

For the people you know who are only on Facebook, please post on the Mamavation Facebook Fan page and tell them why I would make a good Mamavation Mom.