(c) Darrell Godliman - Flickr

The United States was originally founded because the first immigrants from Europe were searching for freedom from religious persecution.  How fitting that today, hundreds of years later, their descendants are persecuting others based on that same religion.

As a gay man, I have limited rights in the country I was born despite the fact that the founding fathers declared America a land where “all men are created equal.”  Of course, as we all know, this doesn’t apply if you happen to love someone of the same sex.  Or so the religious extremists would have you believe.

While the scenery is changing and gradually improving for same-sex couples in America, there is still much work to do.  I will write another post with more details another day, however items such as immigration rights are among the most depressing rights denied to same-sex couples.  Heterosexual married couples are granted 1,138 rights and responsibilities nearly all of which are denied to same-sex coupoles who have gotten married in the few states which have passed full marriage equality as these marriages are severely crippled due to DOMA, a federal law which defines marriage as being between one man and one woman.  This backwards-thinking law denies almost all of the 1,138 rights and responsibilities regardless of whether you are legally married but happen to be same-sex.

For Justin and I, the largest issue is immigration rights.  Although we have been a committed couple for almost four and a half years and despite the fact that we have countless finances proving this and have co-signed on the purchase of a car, the rental of a house for over two years and have many friends and family who can clearly see the love we have for each other, I have zero rights to be able to keep Justin in this country.  The only way he can legally stay is if he happens to find an employer who would sponsor him for a visa and eventually a green-card.  This to me is a serious crime and a major slap in the face.  ”All men are created equal.”

Unless you’re gay – then you can be stepped on and constantly told, by those who previously nurtured and cared for you before they knew you were gay, that you are nothing and that you deserve no rights – that your love of someone of the same sex is a “choice.”  Yes, you are right.  I prefer to be treated as a second class citizen.  I prefer to have rights ripped from me daily.  I prefer to be turned away when doing something as simple as donating my blood to those in need.  I prefer to be constantly told by my state and my country that my love for another man is disgusting and despicable.  I prefer to be called a “faggot” when walking down the street with my boyfriend.    I prefer to be unable to keep the person I love in this country.

On December 30th, we traveled to the Chengdu Panda Breeding Research Center which is only 6 miles north of downtown Chengdu.  Once you arrive it is a quiet serene contrast to the rest of the city.  We went with several of Justin’s relatives and the album below is but a small sampling of the many photos taken.  It was a great day and I’m very glad we were able to go see China’s National Treasure – the Giant Panda.

Justin and I are a few days in on our China 2011 trip.  While this trip is the first for both of us to get to visit Shanghai, the main purpose of this trip is two-fold.  One, it has been three years since he was able to visit his family so it’s time to reconnect and visit with some of his friends.  Second, and pretty importantly, he is coming out to his mom and dad and by extension (and inevitable gossip) – the rest of his family.

Well, two days ago – the day after we arrived and the same day his mom arrived in Shanghai – he came out to his mom.  It actually went great and significantly better than it would have for most Chinese guys.  Typically the families are very set in their ways and would usually think about how it’s bad for the family’s face or possibly that they would not have anyone to take care of them when they’re older.  His mom however is very forward-thinking about was great with the news.  She asked tons of questions such as if I was what had turned him gay.  He re-assured her I wasn’t and that he had crushes on other guys long before he met me.

Since we are all an extended family now, we have roamed around Shanghai together and with various friends.  The pictures below are from the past few days and are a small selection of the places we have been.

Recently, Corey went ahead and actually built himself a CNC router.  This is something that is amazing to me as it is a huge amount of work and takes a lot of great thought to get all the components and make them actually work together.  I don’t have any pics of the router itself, but it’s quite impressive.  A few weeks ago, Corey made me a beautiful pencil box out of a piece of mahogany that I had.  I think I’m going to keep it as-is as I think it looks great without anything else done to it.  View the pics below to see the quality he is able to produce with his CNC router.

There’s a new ad going around in Australia which is probably the best ad for marriage equality that I’ve seen yet.  The video is embedded below, but it shows normal life and how two people want to just be together.  It’s not about gay marriage, people.  It’s about marriage.  Such a simple video, such a powerful message.

As promised, the winner of the recent Shutterfly Contest I held is being announced via this post.  As luck would have it though, I had received several codes but a family member ended up not wanting a code, so the other two entrants are both winners!  Everybody wins!  :-)

Congrats to Lori and Jaime and thanks to everyone for sharing your favorite holiday memory.  Thanks also as this was the first “contest” I’ve ever ran and although only three people posted, it was still fun!  Details and promotion codes have been sent to the winners via email.

Today marks the day the Earth’s population surpassed 7 billion.  While there have been more than 7 billion people on earth, never before have so many people been alive at one point.  Want to know where you fall on this chart?  Visit the BBC to find out.  The above info-graphic is my place in the world.

© Salbjörg Rita Jónsdóttir, Flickr

The last few nights I’ve actually remembered a few dreams that I’ve had. I used to remember some of them years ago, but haven’t remembered anything after I woke up for many years now.

While I was a bit sad about that, it did give me the ability to sleep through an entire night and wake up with a fresh mind. The past two nights though have been different. Last night I had a dream that was creepy, but Tuesday night’s dream is what stands out in my mind.

In the dream, for some reason I was in a computer store to have my netbook repaired (I work on computers all the time and would very rarely ever take it in somewhere and let anyone else work on my technology). I’m not sure why exactly, but somehow it came up that I was gay and the woman at the counter refused to give me service. It’s pretty vague since it was just a dream, but she said something to another person about how she made her views clear at their last meeting. The other person tried to comfort me since I was visibly upset and I was about to cry. I think it was about then that I woke up.

While that’s pretty disjointed and lacking lots of details, it was an interesting insight into my subconscious. At least consciously I don’t consider myself to be discriminated against at least in certain areas. I definitely am by the government, but never have been by any business or by any specific person. It showed me that although I am not being actively discriminated against personally, that it is still something very much on my mind and was eye-opening.

Dreams provide us with an opportunity to let the mind run free with ideas uninhibited by moral, ethical and social constraints. They allow us to explore anything and everything that could possibly be thought of. While sometimes these can he horrifying or amazingly magical, sometimes they are instead about ideas that hold much deeper meaning and, if you’re lucky enough to remember those dreams once you’ve woken up, can show you more about yourself than you ever realized existed.

It’s coming up on that time of the year again to start preparing for Christmas.  This year will be especially busy as we will be going to China again.  It has been nearly three years since we’ve gone back and seen Justin’s family.  There is a lot of preparation work that goes into a trip of this scale along with time and money.

It’s good then that Shutterfly is making other parts of Christmas preparation easy for me.  I will be using them again this year for our yearly Christmas cards.  The first year we had used Kodak but used Shutterfly last year which I think was a better experience.  Last year we went with the design on the left.  While I was happy with the design, etc I was highly disappointed in how the pictures of Justin and I turned out but it’s my fault, not Shutterfly’s.  We had very bad lighting conditions and I hope that this year’s card is of a higher quality.  A few things helping in that area are that we know more now about how to use our Canon camera but also we now have a nice flash for it that should help.

Shutterfly has an almost overwhelming number of possible designs and layouts available, from their holiday cards to Christmas cards to standard photo Christmas cards.  While there is a very large number of cards available, it is quite nice to have such a range of choices and not have to do the same thing every year.

Last year Shutterfly sponsored my cards and supplied them for free which was quite nice.  This year they have taken it to the next step and supplied me with an extra promotional code for 25 free cards for my readers.  Post in the comments below what your favorite holiday memory is to win.  I’ll pick a winner at random on November 19 and contact you via email.

*Disclaimer: This post is sponsored by an offer from Shutterfly for 50 free holiday cards for bloggers.
*Contest Rules: Contest is open from October 25 2011 – November 18 2011 11:59PM.  One winner will be picked at random and will receive a coupon code for 25 free cards from Shutterfly.  Shipping/tax charges may apply.

Today the world has lost a truly visionary man with the passing of Steve Jobs. I wish his family the best during this difficult time.

More information can be found at Apple’s site

On Tuesday Justin and I went to a show in Leob Playhouse called “Amazing China.”  It was sponsored by the Confucius Institute.  Students from the Shanghai Jiao Tong University Symphony Orchestra performed various pieces of music from traditional chines songs to the theme from Pirates of the Caribbean.  The slideshow below is a taste of the dance and songs from the show.

Watch the video above to see a great interview from Sirius XM radio host Michelangelo Signorile interviewing North Carolina GOP State Sen. James Forrester.

It’s a great interview where Signorile brings calm reasoning to a State Senator who can’t answer simple questions and bring horrible bias and extremely bad incorrect “facts” to introduce legislation to ban same-sex marriage.

Yesterday marked the official repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, the US Millitary’s ban on gay servicemen from serving openly.  Above is a video produced by one military man (Randy Phillips) coming out to his Dad yesterday.

http://www.towleroad.com/2011/09/airmanfollow.html

After work today, Justin and I went to the College of Engineering 2011 Graduate Dinner.  I (of course) went as Justin’s spouse and you had your choice of either Chick-Fil-A or Jimmy Johns.  Why would I possibly pick Jimmy Johns when I could have me some delicious Chick-Fil-A?!

After eating we snagged ourselves a picture with the coolest cow in the land!

Yesterday I ran the Chicago Half Marathon.  While I am happy that I was able to run it and it was certainly an amazing experience, I didn’t end up getting the time that I wanted and although it’s only my second half marathon, it’s also my last.

I ended with a time of 2:09:07, which was more than my time for my last half marathon, but not bad given that the weather was about 15ºF hotter than I was expecting.  Having ran this half marathon, it did allow me to confirm that I’m going to focus on improving my times for the shorter 5k runs instead of going between those and endurance training for half marathons.  I will do better than ever next year during the Purdue 5K Challenge and beyond!

Thanks Justin, Mom and Dad for coming to support me during the race!

Molly proves almost every day that she’s the queen and last week I was able to capture it in a small photo shoot.  I came home last week and found Molly sitting in the middle of a blanket which was in a ball in the middle of the bed – like she was on her throne.

Image from uberhumor.com

Isotretinoin, how you’ve changed me these last seven months. You’ve vastly improved my acne while drying me out to where if I don’t clean my face every few hours and re-moisturize I start to look like the desert floor.

This morning was my last Isotretinoin pill. While I can’t wait for my natural oils to start to come back to tame the massive dryness, I’m happy with the results that have occurred during my treatment. I now await my follow-up appointment at the end of September to start to get on a long-term regiment.

It’s been one week since Sparky’s biopsy and it’s been quite the week, sadly not for the best reasons.

Late Monday we got a call from Dr. Corriveau of the Purdue Small Animal Hospital with the results of his biopsy.  Unfortunately Sparky was diagnosed with squamous-cell carcinoma.  While the best course of action is to get into surgery to remove it, this requires very expensive imaging to determine if the cancer has spread and to determine the margin of the cancer.  After that would be the surgery which would be even more expensive.  It would most likely require removing a few teeth as well.  Taking into consideration the huge cost which isn’t feasible at this time along with how we feel his quality-of-life would be degraded, we opted for the next-best possibility.  We started Sparky on chemotherapy.

Yesterday was his first dose of Piroxicam.  It’s typically used for somewhat different areas of cancer but is promising.  The best we can hope for is that it will maintain the current cancer and not allow it to grow.  In a few weeks we will go back for another check-up.

Here’s hoping that our good boy, Sparky, gets through this successfully.  He’s a great dog and it’s hard to even think about him having cancer.

Tomorrow, Sparky goes in for his first procedure.

This past weekend we noticed that he had a growth on the roof of his mouth by his teeth.  The vet isn’t sure what it is with their initial sample so tomorrow they’re going to sedate him and get a biopsy for a much more thorough analysis.

Hopefully the results come back benign!

Recently Sparky has decided that he doesn’t really want to come in after we take him out sometimes.  So, what’s the easiest way to rebel against your parents?  By not doing anything of course!

Sparky now tends to just go outside like normal and do his ‘business’ but will occasionally just lay down in the front yard and stare at you as if saying ‘What, you want me to go inside?’

I did what any responsible dog owner would do.  I let him off of his leash, went inside and grabbed my camera and had a mini photo session.  The pic to the right along with the one above are the best although there were about 20 more pictures taken.

He’s quite the photogenic dog, Sparky is.

This morning I ran a 5 mile run.  I have a half-marathon coming up in the middle of September and need to be running more especially in the morning.  This is especially important given the recent crazy heat Indiana and much of the midwest has been seeing.  Today’s temperature hit the low 90′s with a heat-index of over 100ºF.  So, I made a point of going to sleep earlier last night so I could run this morning.

Despite getting up around 5:45 and starting my run just after 6am, the weather was still crazy-hot for so early in the morning.  I was OK with my overall pace given the heat, but it certainly wasn’t what I was aiming for (under 8min/mile).  I’m trying to lengthen my runs while obtaining an overall pace of 7:30/mile.

“Homophobic Friends” is “A veracious montage of “Friends” sheds new light on homophobic attitudes in contemporary Western TV culture.”

I think the video just shows lots of gay-related clips but I found it to be pretty funny.  I certainly miss the show again now.

There’s a new movement going around YouTube et al after the successful It Gets Better YouTube campaign.  The new one is called “Straight But Not Narrow.”  As Cory Monteith states in the video below, “We’re just guys talking to guys who like guys.”

© Flickr user Cynthia.Lou

This year marks the first 4th of July for Sparky with us.  The past few years we would go watch fireworks either by Purdue West or drive to the top of one of the campus parking garages.  This year however we decided to just stay at home.  If we wanted to watch the fireworks, we could easily just look out our backdoor and probably see more than enough.

On Sunday night we started to notice a problem though.  When we were outside walking Sparky, he suddenly heard a firework and got very scared.  He tried to get back to the house as quickly as possible and I had to run after him to keep up.

Last night this got much worse once the fireworks started.  From about 6pm on he refused to ‘do’ anything when we did get him outside.  At one point, I had to pick him up and carry him outside at which point he just would get as close to me as possible while shaking uncontrollably.

This morning he was leery to go outside, but was OK once I started walking him.  Needless to say, fireworks are not something that Sparky is fond of.

Over the past month or so, Justin and I have worked to build up our own personal mini-gym.  While it’s not much, it’s enough to get us in a schedule to improve ourselves and our health.

We now have a basic weight bench with 80 lbs of weight, 10, 15, 20, 25 and 30 lb dumbbells, workout mats, bikes and running gear.  Every Monday/Thursday we do weights, Tuesday, Friday basic cardio and Wednesday, Saturday either a 3 mile run or a 5+ mile bike-ride.

Our weight-lifting is by-far the most difficult and pushes us the most I think, but the results will be worth it once we start to see them.  On a side-note, do you know how expensive good dumbbells can be?!

Today we’ll be learning French instead of journaling the day.  Let’s conjugate the four most commonly used verbs: aller, avoir, être and faire and give some example sentences.

Aller (to go)

• Je vais bien – I go well; I’m good
• Tu vas faire quelque chose – You’re go to do something
• Il va à Paris – He goes to Paris
• Nous allons  à la bibliothèque – We go to the library
• Vous allez dormir – You’re going to sleep
• Ils vont nager – They’re going to swim

Avoir (to have)

Yes, I wasn’t sure how to finish the conjugation of faire.  Sorry about that!  I just haven’t learned many examples or usages of faire yet so apart from simple questions like that, I just don’t know enough at this point.

Today marks the start of my fourth year working for Purdue University as a UNIX/Mac Desktop Support Technician for the Physics Department.  I’m glad to work in the department that I do and be able to work with the people who I do.  It makes getting through those tough and trying days that much easier.

I had applied for the job initially while honestly not having faith in myself or my abilities as UNIX/Mac support wasn’t something I’d done as a primary job before.  I had typically been a Windows support person who dabbled in Linux and had a few Macs, but no real support experience.  I’ve since grown into the person I am today – a trusted and respected source of Linux/Mac knowledge who will admit to struggling with tougher issues, but is no longer afraid to just jump in and tackle it.

Here’s to the past three years and several more to come!

This past weekend, Justin and I were going for a walk with Sparky and we found the above little baby bird.  (S)he had fallen out of the nest and was wandering around unable to get back in.  Their nest was in a support beam for two mailboxes a few houses down from ours.  The baby was jumping/flying into the road and we were afraid it would get run-over, so we shoo’ed it back towards the mailboxes.

After quickly going home and finding a box to wrangle the baby into, we were able to get it back into its nest although it was screeching pretty loudly the entire time.  We’ve checked back several times since and the family is still all happily together.

We have now had Sparky since early September, 2010 and although Sparky and Molly aren’t “best buddies”, they are getting along better.  Some items which have helped this be easier for both of them are:

• Sparky-gates have been put up to the kitchen, laundry room and master bedroom creating “safe” areas for Molly.
• Periodically, we get Molly and Sparky together in one area so they can… work through their differences.  (See the image above)
• Molly gets the entire bedroom to herself and sleeps by my head at night while Sparky sleeps in his cage nightly.
• Sparky is finally growing out of his puppy stage and although still very hyper and full of energy, he’s learned to sit, shake, lay down and roll over.
• Sparky doesn’t try to smell Molly as often anymore and mostly will just ignore her.

While we’ve got a long way to go until they’re bestest friends, they’re certainly much better than when Sparky first came home with us.