Now I have a spot that needs something in it, though.

Isn’t that the way it always goes? Something falls over and we have to deal with it. Then we have to figure out what to plant in the blank space.

Between revisions (yes, I got another extension! ha ha ha!), trees, redoing my bedroom (I think some pod people actually sneaked into our brains during the furniture shopping trip during which the old stuff was acquired), going back to work, and various personal events, I am finding myself surrounded by freshly emblankenized (yeah, it’s a word… don’t look it up, though) spaces.

It’s scary, because when is change ever not scary? But it’s also a time for hope and a little faith and a lot of creativity. Sometimes your creativity has to be literal, like writing a new scene or deciding what color to paint the wall. Sometimes it requires legwork, like finding out what kind of shrub we can plant that won’t tip over and land on our fence. And sometimes it demands that you imagine that things will be different, and better.

There’s work involved, too. Painting, by the way, is hard work. Writing is also hard work, in its own way. And dealing with the challenges of life as a human connected to other humans might be the hardest work of all.

But when everything is said and done, you have a new plant, a new bedroom, a better book, a better life.

Like the Phoenix, which must burn itself to the ground to be born again, sometimes you have to embrace change, even if it means burning to the ground or hauling many heavy pieces of furniture out to storage when all you want to do is sit around and watch “Wife Swap” re-runs all day.

So here’s to upheaval, and to what comes next.

PS – Don’t forget to enter the contest!
PPS – Special shout-out to YA Books Central for making me their author of the day on Twitter. And to Laina for nominating me!

That reminds me that Halloween came and went and I didn’t do anything particularly Halloweeny. I haven’t needed scary things like zombies, vampires, werewolves, etc., because I have the writer’s scariest thing hanging over me: a deadline (eek!).

Although many deadlines are scarier than mine, because I keep getting extensions (woohoo!). My editor is wonderful about letting me know if I can have more time, due to her schedule. There is nothing worse than rushing to finish something only to find out that it won’t be looked at for three weeks.

Anyway, I thought I’d come share my only ghost story. It’s short but it was creepy as all get-out.

Several months ago, I was working downstairs in my office, and the husb was working very late. Around 11 p.m., I heard him open the door upstairs. I was in the middle of something, so I kept working for a little while. I heard him walking around and eventually heard him settle down on the couch, presumably to watch TV.

Then I decided I should pack up for the night and go upstairs, so I shut off my lights and saved all my docs and made my way upstairs, expecting to see him on the couch.

But as soon as I was halfway up the stairs, I could see that the couch was empty and the TV was off. Furthermore, the lights were off in the living room. I could see that our bedroom was dark, because the door was open a crack.

I called, “Husb?” (Actually, I used his name, but you know what I mean.) And I still thought he was definitely home. I thought he’d gone to bed and turned off the bedroom lights without telling me.

But he wasn’t in there!

He wasn’t home at all.

Heaven only knows what I actually heard. From what I know of our house, its past isn’t sordid or exciting, but the house next door has a bit of drama going on. Maybe that ghost got bored and came to visit me. To watch some TV and turn in early.

That’s it! My ghost story.

What made me think of this was a contest (which I totally missed) at my friend Laura’s blog, Sew at Sea. Laura is freaking hilarious and I highly recommend that you take a read of her blog, because it’s funny stuff. I never knew that an emergency hospital stay brought on by gastric distress would cause me to laugh out loud, but it did. (My own sister once called me on the phone to tell me how hard she laughed about Laura’s comment on my ant crisis post.)

So check it out… and don’t forget to also check out the contest! Now, if you’re busy like my friend JPK, don’t get intimidated. To enter, you don’t have to do ALL the stuff on the list… you can start with something easy like telling me what you’re thankful for.

And remember, if someone talks about ghosts, interrupt them immediately and remind them that Katie Alender invented ghosts. Also, Post-Its and the Internet.

Just felt like posting it because he’s such a cutie. The song is “I Like Birds,” by the Eels, who are great. (If you want to see Winston’s other music videos, visit my other (non-author) Youtube channel!

Hope everyone is well! I’m revising my (rapidly expanding) rear end off.

Don’t forget to enter the contest!

[new blog posts will appear below this one on the front page of the website!]

I’d like to thank everybody for the condolences on the loss of my old kitty. He did have a very nice life. Often when I have a bad day or something unfortunate happens, I remind myself of how lucky I am by finding something to be grateful for. I am incredibly thankful that I had Tigger’s companionship, and also very grateful to have a loving family who were willing to take good care of him into his old age.

So it’s time for the November contest. Win some custom-designed swag as well as a signed copy of “Bad Girls Don’t Die.” I will also add a $15 Amazon gift certificate this month if the entry points top 250!

To enter, just leave a comment below telling me what you’re thankful for.

Here’s the points scale:

+1 for a “thankful” comment
+1 for telling me about a “reverse NaNoWriMo” activity you’re doing–something new and exciting! –OR tell me your NaNo wordcount
+1 for tweeting a link (up to three separate days… don’t forget the #bgddcontest tag)
+1 for using the new “ShareThis” icon below and sharing to the public source of your choice–please tell me which one!
+1 for mentioning on your blog or website (please add the link)
+1 for being or becoming a Facebook fan — click here!, which is actually a great way to keep up with contests and other announcements

And I guess that’s a lot of ways, so we’ll end it there!

Tallying of entries ends at 12:01 a.m. Pacific, Thursday 11/12/09…

Good luck!

(Don’t forget that by entering, you are agreeing to my contest guidelines.)

He was one of those super mellow cats who loves to be carried around. He would literally stay in your arms as long as you felt like holding him. He slept in my room and woke up with me in the mornings. He would follow me into the bathroom and yowl and try to check on me when I was in the shower. Then, when I put my makeup on, he would sit on the counter and drink out of his cup of water.

After I went away to college, my dormant cat allergies emerged with a vengeance. The first time the husb and my dad ever met was when we visited my family for spring break, and I immediately picked up Tigs and started snuggling with him, and my eye turned bright red and swollen. My dad, an eye doctor, was at work, so the husb drove me there. And that’s how they were introduced to each other.

When I was 17 (he was 3), Tigger had liver flukes and a very high fever (from slipping out the back door and crouching under the bushes eating lizards). I suspect that might have slowed him down a little, if you know what I mean (although there are those, my older sister included, who maintain that he was never actually quick). His litterbox habits went south and he became an outside cat. He ruled the backyard, never roaming, always staying close to home in the little house my dad built for him.

Because of his need to be an outside cat, he was never able to join me in California. It’s too dangerous here for outside kitties.

But he led a long, happy life. He could make me laugh, comfort me when I was sad, and express his appreciation by purring like a motorboat. I’m so grateful to my parents for caring for him for such a long time and then seeing him into a more comfortable place.

Rest in peace, Tigger. A good old cat.

What a lot of people are thinking about is NaNoWriMo, or National Novel Writing Month. Basically, the idea is that you spend the month of November writing a 50,000 word novel–or 50,000 words of a longer novel (since 50k is pretty short for any category except YA).

I have never gotten very far in NaNo. For the past few years, what with revisions to BGDD and dog shows galore, November has been packed with activities that would make such a rigorous writing schedule impossible.

For those of you who are participating, please heed this advice:

(1) Wear reading glasses and take frequent breaks from staring at your computer (and no, switching to Twitter or Facebook from MS Word doesn’t count as a break).
(2) Don’t be too hard on yourself.
(3) Don’t assume that by the end of the month you will have a draft that is ready to send to an agent. You will probably have to revise your NaNo. But that’s okay. Everybody revises.
(4) If you do get started and find you can’t finish, or fall way behind on your wordcount, don’t just give up your novel altogether. NaNoWriMo is fun, what with all the zeitgeist and such, but it should be a launching point. Meeting NaNo’s wordcount should not be your ultimate goal; finishing a draft of a novel should be your ultimate goal. So if you have to slow down and finish your draft by, say, March instead of December 1, I say go for it. Don’t just give up forever.

On the other hand, if you are not doing NaNo, like me, how about treat November as Reverse NaNoWriMo? Every day, try doing, making, eating, or learning something new! Enrich yourself so that when you DO feel motivated to sit down and write your novel, you have lots of interesting new stuff to draw from. (Writing is allowed, too… in moderation.)

Be sure to tweet about your adventures and label with #reversenanowrimo … so I can see what you’re up to!

My Reverse NaNo deed for the day? Starting a vermicompost bin. See, I had this Rubbermaid tub full of soil that, with neglect, had turned into rich, crumbling, beautiful soil with worms in it. So I figured, if I did it on accident, I can probably keep it up on purpose. I went digging for worms near the drainage ditch at the end of my street (the glamour continues…) and put them in with the old-timers. Cross your fingers!

Tomorrow’s activity? (Spoiler alert!) –Going back to WORK. Argh. It’s not that I don’t love my work and the people I get to see when I’m there, but still… argh!

Happy November!

We don’t get a lot of trick or treaters–or any, for that matter–so we’re going to take the opportunity to hang out with some friends we never get to see anymore. I guess I have to think up a costume, but one thing is for sure–it will be lame! That’s all right, though. I’m past the age of dressing up to look like a hot young thing, and I don’t have kids, so I don’t have anyone to impress, of any age.

In other, exciting news, I’m typing this blog post on my anniversary gift from the husb–a new MacBook! Our old Powerbook is basically on strike, and in the winter, my office downstairs gets to be about 50 degrees, so it’s nice to have a mobile writing option. I’ve been itching to sit on the balcony and do some work out there and this will make it possible. So yay!

I haven’t named it yet, but it’s definitely a girl.

Well, I’m off to a busy day… still more revising, dropping the dirty dog off for a bath and a trim, some house cleaning, and of course figuring out my lame costume!

Hope you all enjoy the day and don’t eat too much sugar!

But that’s not the only thing that’s ending…

My “hiatus” ends in just over a week. The regular-season dog shows (the Animal Planet Dog Championships) are canceled, but there’s still the big show, the AKC/Eukanuba National Championship. So I’ll be back at work for a few months. I’m excited to see my friends at the office, but I must say, I kind of like being a stay-at-home-author.

And our family visits have ended… my nomadic sister-in-law was here for two weeks, and then as soon as she left, my father and two of my cousins came. It was fun to see them and do some touristy stuff–visiting the La Brea tar pits and taking the Warner Bros. studio tour. We got to go on Ellen’s soundstage (it was empty, because she doesn’t tape on Fridays) and see the backlot. I love movie studios. The husb and I interned on the Disney lot, and it’s so much fun just to be there.

So I think I need to go get a snack (everything is better with a snack) and buckle down! I’ll report back when I finish. Maybe this calls for a mini-contest. Who knows?

Wish me luck!

k.

Okay, so here’s what I’m doing these days: writing. I wish I could say it were more exciting than that, but it’s not.

I also did a guest blog for Vania over at Reverie Book Reviews… check it out! You could win a brown and pink bag, which I will post a picture of as soon as I fix my sewing machine and find 10 minutes to finish it.

Happy Thursday!

The (randomly chosen) winner is… Nathalie! Congratulations!

Nathalie wins a signed copy of Bad Girls Don’t Die, generously donated as a giveaway by Larramie of The Divining Wand, as well as some fun custom-sewn goodies.

I have to say, the costume suggestions had me rolling. I really loved Nathalie’s idea of the princess and the frog–with Winston as the princess, obviously! Also, H. Mary Cole’s idea that we go as two freak show performers–can’t you just see Winston as the bearded lady? And Bianca’s “Little Red Riding Hood/Big Bad Wolf” idea was wonderful, too. Who gets to be the Big Bad Wolf–me or the dog? Ha! I could dress Winston as Granny.

Kate cracked me up by suggestion that I be Carmen Miranda and Winston be a banana:

And of course, the Dorothy and Toto suggestions ruled… but I love WillowRaven’s idea that I be Toto and Winston be Dorothy.

Of course after ALL that, I remembered that I don’t have a job this year and therefore no place to show off our fantastic costumes. The “D’OH!” heard ’round the world.

So we’ll see. Maybe I’ll whip something up for a Halloween-themed vlog!

Thanks again for all the entries.

Now… back to work with me. I’m about to hit 60,000 words on BGDD2! I specifically stopped 61 words short last night so I could at least feel like I’d accomplished something today, ha ha ha.

Cheers!
k.

The weird thing is that it IS a lot of work and it ISN’T. As I’ve mentioned before, I’ve never been the world’s fastest writer–not because I can’t write fast, but because I can’t make myself sit still long enough to write fast for any prolonged period of time.

True, you can’t force these things, but on the other hand, sometimes you have to put a little force behind it.

In the style of yoga I practice (because it’s what my friend teaches, mostly–not from any sort of exotic choice-making process), there always seems to be a focus on achieving a balance between discipline and surrender, the “yes” and the “no”… that which comes easily and that which is difficult.

I’m applying that a lot to my writing life right now. In my life, there is that which comes easy: “Yay! I’ve done my writing for the day! I have free time!” and there is that which does not come easy: “Wow, it’s four o’clock and I haven’t come anywhere near my wordcount. Blaaaaaaaaaarrggghh.”

The problem is, as anyone who has ever had a large project set before them knows, you can never really get away from your project. Even if you’ve done your work for the day, there’s still a part of your mind that is anxious, that wants to get back to it. And ESPECIALLY if you haven’t done your work for the day.

And then, for an author (and probably for other professions, but I don’t know because they aren’t my profession), there are the forces that keep you from your work–primarily the abject sense of terror that what you’re doing is a load of useless nonsense and no one will like it and then no one will like YOU and you are a failure and all that.

So the yin and yang are operating strongly on me right now; in all the push and pull I find I am neglecting my blog. Please bear with me for a few more weeks.

k.

Time for the October contest! Win a signed copy of Bad Girls Don’t Die as well as some custom-made stuff!

Enter by leaving a comment below telling me what you want to be for Halloween! (+1 entry)

For more chances to win:
+1 Tell me what your favorite Halloween candy is
+1 Share an idea for coordinated Katie/Winston costumes that my dog and I can wear
+1 Twitter a link to the contest — be sure to use hashtag #bgddcontest (up to three extra entries–only one a day)

Sample Tweet (feel free to copy & paste):
Enter to win a signed copy of Bad Girls Don’t Die by @katiealender & other fun stuff! http://j.mp/3GppfV #bgddcontest

Plus, more ways to get extra entries will be revealed before the contest is over!

To get an idea of some of my custom-made bags and eye pillows, click here!

Only entries posted before 12:01 a.m. (Pacific Standard Time) October 10 are valid!

By entering, you are agreeing to abide by my contest guidelines!

Thanks, and happy October!

I know it’s a horrible way to look at things, but every year, as it gets warmer and warmer and late winter edges toward early spring and that deteriorates into late spring and then LORD NO here come the ravages of summer–I hold one precious concept in the back of my head.

October!!!

And as the summer starts to gasp and give itself over into the luscious bosom of autumn, my heart starts to sing.

I honestly end every summer with the thought: “I made it!”

Like I said, I hate that I spend so much of the year in a vague sense of unease, just because of the word on the calendar. In these days of air conditioning and garaged cars, it’s not like I ever have to be uncomfortably hot for more than four minutes at a time or so.

But still… October!

It’s here!

October is also a big month for me.

October is when I got married.
October is when Bad Girls Don’t Die takes place.
October is the best!

Because it means that soon the weather will be cool (after the stupid old Santa Ana winds finish blowing), and it means that soon it will be Thanksgiving, and then it is December, which is tied with October as my favorite month, because I get to change my ringtone to a Christmas carol and I get to decorate my house and sit around thinking happy thoughts and eating cookies with icing on them.

October!

PS – New contest announced tomorrow!

For today’s Crafty Monday post, I’m featuring a bag I made for September’s Big Contest winner, Liz! Liz wanted something in the romantic/gothic style and she likes the color green.

I have to say, I had a lot of fun making this bag. I made a special trip to the fabric store to find the fabrics, and I love the way the two black and cream prints go together.

That’s a pocket on the outside; it’s lined with green and sewn down the middle (mostly so it wouldn’t gape open). The black lace makes me happy and I actually bought a light green rose pin, but found that the red one I bought a long time ago was a better fit. The green was just one shade off or it would have been great.

Here’s a look at the lining:

And here’s Winston looking at it very warily:

So there you have it! Many thanks to Liz for being so fun and sweet throughout the process! In case you haven’t guessed, I think the contest is as fun for me as it is for the winner.

Speaking of contests, there will be a new one starting up later this week! So be sure to check back!

I was inspired to make this the other day. I submitted it to “I Has a Hotdog” (the loldog site), but Winston never gets picked to be on that site anymore, so I thought I’d share it here, where his fans will be sure to see it.

Based on, of course, the legendary scene in “Sunset Boulevard,” where Norma Desmond comes down the stairs and tells Mr. DeMille she’s ready for her closeup:

And I’m like, “No!”

In fact, I basically howl the word “no.”

Because people think I named Kasey and Alexis as a reference to me and my little sister–Katie and Alexandra.

But I didn’t! I swear! *howl* I really didn’t.

Not on purpose, at least.

Hmm.

Anyway, Charlotte, also known as “Chuck,” was born last September, and I promptly procured all the supplies for this quilt. My original plan was to make it all heart blocks, 4 wide by 5 high, but as I started making hearts, I discovered two things:

(1) Heart blocks are kind of a pain in the neck to make

(2) The blocks didn’t look good at all set right up on top of one another.

Now, objection #1 only affected me insofar as, given the choice between making 20 heart blocks and making 12, I immediately favored the idea of making 12. This still took a fair amount of effort, but that part didn’t bother me at all. Every baby deserves a fair amount of effort on his or her part. If I didn’t think so, I wouldn’t make quilts for the dears.

However, given the opportunity to bail on those final eight, you better believe I took it.

In answer to objection #2, I found a brown polka-dot print that would tie everything together, and then used the pink and brown faux-stitchy looking bit in the corners. I alternated those, stitchy design vertical and then horizontal, and vice versa on every other line of sashing.

Naturally, I sewed the last row on upside down, and had to rip out that giant seam and sew it back on.

The batting in this quilt is the bamboo-cotton stuff, which continues to delight me, as it is both warm and flexible AND has a nice heft to it, too.

I quilted down the sashing, 1/4 inch in on each side, with a straight stitch. Then I outlined each heart with a little zigzag, which–thankfully–was much easier than I thought it would be. Nothing like outlining the birds on the bird quilt.

So this one was about a year in the making… but Chuck (and her mom) are well worth it.

So there you have it! Happy Monday!

k.

A few commenters pointed out what I believe to be true, which is that a negative review that explains itself well may not be a terrible thing for a book. The example given was if a reviewer disliked a book because she is disinclined to like first-person narratives. Readers who don’t have a problem with first-person will probably not be turned off by such a review. (Someone once pointed out that she didn’t like my book because she didn’t like romantic storylines. That certainly isn’t going to make most readers think, “Well, I’m not buying THIS book, then!”)

I commented–basically–that publicists are trying to make the best use of their, er, “petite” marketing budgets, and because of this, they’ll probably end up preferring the more positive review sites over those that consistently trash books.

In her original post, Sharon mentioned that a good negative review, in her opinion, includes constructive criticism. A few commenters replied that constructive criticism is unnecessary, because the book is done.

And I wanted to speak about that.

I’ve been extremely fortunate in that most of the reviews I’ve come across for Bad Girls Don’t Die are overwhelmingly positive (you can find excerpts and links under the “reviews” link at the top of the page). But there have been a handful that pointed out things they wished were different, or wanted clarification on, or felt didn’t fit. None of them was rude–to the contrary, they were all quite polite. If it seemed appropriate, I would email the reviewer with my clarification, or even a question asking them to clarify.

Because the thing is, you DO learn from negative reviews.

Writing is an art, not a science. When you write a book, you’re looking to reach out to readers and bring them into your little world for a few hours. Ideally, they lose themselves in the book (and love it to pieces).

With Bad Girls, I’m pleased as punch to report, that happened for a lot of people. It didn’t happen for everyone. But I can say, there wasn’t a single negative comment I didn’t grok on some level.

Did I agree with all of them? Nope! Not at all.

But did most of them make me think? You bet.

I’m not going to change the way I write because of a review. But when multiple reviewers said, “I loved the characters of Megan and Carter, and I wish I could have known more,” it got my attention. Because as a writer–especially as a thriller writer who didn’t set out to write thrillers–I am profoundly interested in the fragile balance between action and character development. And these reviews made me wonder how I can inch up the character development in books 2 and 3, without losing the momentum of the action (hint: it’s not easy).

That was the point that stayed with me–well, that and the mistake some eagle-eyed reviewer caught that made me LOL because I’d missed it. (But ha ha ha–I know another mistake that no one has caught yet, hardy hardy har.)

I can’t recall for you every point, but I can tell you that, as I read each review, I thought about the things I read. And I considered where the reviewer was coming from. And, considering the reviewer’s credibility (through thoughtful and well-presented reviews, well-expressed opinions. etc.), in many cases I thought to myself, “Well, she’s kind of right about that. Maybe I’ll approach it differently next time.”

There are lots of authors out there who don’t read their reviews–or don’t read the negative ones. I have to say, anything lower than three stars is off my radar. I’m no glutton for punishment.

And I don’t mean to invite a slew of highly-constructive reviews for the BGDD sequels. In fact, I’d prefer that you just write a nice review and email me your questions and thoughts privately. *wink*

But as a writer, I write for my readers. So I’d be a dummy if I passed up the chance to learn from them.

PS – There is one bit of criticism for the book that I have always wanted a chance to defend. So I’m going to do it here. But beware of spoilers!

PPS – My “reviews” page isn’t updated with the past couple months’ reviews… but I’ll get there soon, I promise! I have them all bookmarked and ready to excerpt.

PPPS – If you’ve written a nice review of BGDD, would you consider adding it to one or a couple of the major online bookselling sites? Just thought I’d ask, since we’re on the topic.

Today I started working on a bag for September contest winner Liz (and I think it’s going to be a good one… I might have to steal it! ha ha ha, just kidding), and that reminded me to post pictures of the stuff I made for Vanesa, who won the August contest!

First, Vanesa’s bag… she told me she liked brown, green, blue, and black. I had made a red, black, and white patchwork bag like this just for kicks a few weeks earlier, and when she told me that color combination, I knew I could do a cute version in that palette.

The scariest thing? Not only do I have all these fabrics, I already had all those squares pre-cut. Yes, there was a period in my life when my nervous habit was cutting squares. Like, if I was trying to think through something in a draft or a rewrite, I’d just stand there and cut squares. Crazy, huh?

So here it is! I paper-pieced the “V” (for Vanesa!).

The interior is camouflage with a pocket that matches the handles. Are you impressed? Winston’s not:

Since the bag was pretty androgynous, I decided that Vanesa deserved a highly girly eye pillow. This was also the first time I made a travel case to go with an eye pillow. I think this is important, because you want a clean place to put it.

Also in August, I made a bag for one of my dearest friends for her birthday. It’s kind of, uh, high energy, but I thought those colors would be perfect for a trip to the farmers market or something equally folksy and fun. Or whatever she wants to do with it, LOL. It has a key holder and a pocket.

Okey dokey! Thanks for joining me today!

k.

Liz will get a signed copy of Bad Girls Don’t Die, as well as a custom tote bag and eye pillow, and I am actually just about to run out to the fabric store to buy some awesome fabric to use!

Tomorrow’s Crafty Monday post will feature the custom swag I made for the previous two contest winners, so be sure to stop by and check it out!

Oh, and good job Kate who guessed that the language I’m trying to learn is Japanese! I found an amazing app for the iPhone, and I’m slowly working my way through hiragana, one of the two sets of characters. I lovelovelove languages and I’m so excited that soon I’ll be able to read Japanese! Even if I don’t know what I’m reading, LOL–that will have to come later.

Kate didn’t win, but I’ve decided to declare her the winner of a mini-contest, since she was the only person who guessed correctly! Kate, I’ll be emailing you about your “mini-win”!

Happy Sunday, everyone!

It changes for me depending on where my interest and discipline levels lie at any given moment. For a long time, it was dear old Miss Snark, the take-no-prisoners literary agent. Then there was a period where the first thing I wanted to catch up on was lolcats.

Right now, for me, it’s blogs about minimalism. Here are three I’ve been hooked on lately:
Unclutterer
Becoming Minimalist
Zen Habits

Being a repentant packrat and a semi-repentant procrastinator, I’m always in the mood for a little motivation toward a simpler and more efficient lifestyle.

What are your “Good morning!” blogs? Please share them in the comments!

PS – My September contest entries are closed; I’ll announce the winner soon. And hurray for Kate, who gets five extra entries for guessing my obsession du jour–learning Japanese!

Now, I have always loved connecting with people online. I joined a wedding planning community before I was even engaged, and I’m still in touch with several of the women I met there.

I’ve been blogging for more than four years. My RSS feeds are my lifeline. I had a fling with MySpace, I’m currently crushing on Twitter.

I was a bit of a late adopter with Facebook, and it took me a long time to understand exactly what was going on. But I did appreciate the way it did what scores of failed reunion websites hadn’t done–it gave old classmates and past friends a place to get in touch. I still use it for that purpose, and to connect with my friends and family, but that’s basically all.

Facebook and I are far from BFF.

And here’s why.

(1) Change for the sake of change.
Almost everyone remembers back when Facebook underwent that big interface change. But almost no one, including myself, can tell you exactly what changed. I’m pretty used to the new style, although I do get tired of seeing my own little avatar everywhere I go.

The weird thing is that, though I couldn’t name the differences, I can tell you that I don’t feel like I get the same experience out of Facebook anymore. I don’t feel like I can navigate as well as I used to. And I definitely don’t feel like I’m getting the same type of information I used to get. Which brings us to…

(2) They finally created an outlet to connect us with people you want to catch up on, and 90% of the way we interact with those people is trivial, useless information.
I think it’s downright neato that I’m meeting up with people I recall fondly but haven’t spoken to in ten years. You know what’s less neato? Finding out that all they need in Mafia Wars is a gold watch, a bulletproof limo, a suitcase full of money, and a cannoli. Do I really need to know what people scored in Diamond Drop Bonanza?

I don’t even know what your spouse’s name is! I just thought it was neat to have a chance to check up on you after all these years. Listen, I am not even one of those people who complains if you post you just ate a tunafish sandwich for lunch. But that you were just named a Russian Spymaster Level 13? I don’t want to know. Even though Facebook wants to tell me.

(3) The dominance of third-party content is preventing innovation at the site level.
Take the idea of connecting with your relatives. Instead of building in a feature that allows you to tag your family members, Facebook features a third-party program called “We’re related!” that I finally gave up and deleted. It was constantly failing to recognize people I’d already confirmed as my relatives, AND I got invitations regularly inviting me to install it, when I was already running it. Instead, I created a friend list called “family” and I look there to see what my dozens of relatives are up to.

Features that could be well-integrated on a core level are being handled by substandard applications. Not to mention that instead of being able to check the “brother” checkmark next to my brother’s profile, I have to choose between “We’re related!”, “FamilyConnect”, and “Relative Drop Bonanza”. So if a third of my relatives choose each of those apps, we’re all destined to remain disconnected–which, correct me if I’m wrong, kind of defeats the purpose.

(4) Third-party content has become incredibly intrusive.
I see on my home page that Bob Doe has taken the “What flightless bird are you?” quiz. This piques my curiosity, so I decide to take it, too. Suddenly I’m forced to accept that this one quiz is free to access my data, my friends list, my friends’ data, and my immunization records, just so I can find out I’m an emu. Oh, but before I can find out I’m an emu, it’s strongly recommended that I suggest this quiz to ninety of my friends.

I’ve taken to ignoring all quizzes, all invitations, all application-related activity. If I do feel a burning need to know which day of the week I am, I take the quiz, then go to my application settings and delete the application immediately.

A few times, I’ve gone to delete an application and discovered, to my surprise and displeasure, that by clicking on some innocuous-looking update from a friend a few days earlier, I’ve added an app to my list. This is downright malware behavior!

We’ve all heard the horror stories of the people who saw their spouse’s picture used in an ad for singles on the prowl. Facebook claims that IT will never use your pictures for such purposes, but Facebook has turned into nothing more than the checkered blanket under the picnic. There’s a lot going on up there that the blanket isn’t controlling.

(5) But even though it’s incredibly intrusive, it’s poorly integrated into the structure of the site.
If I can add an app by clicking on it, why do I have to go to my control panel to remove it? And why does every individual quiz require its own app? Facebook has encouraged an incredible diversity of these applications, with the end result being that we’re all drowning in the toybox. Why not categorize all quiz apps together? I assume they’re all screened at some level–so why not screen them and dump them into a bin?

(6) Facebook no longer feels like a destination.
When I was still using MySpace, I had lots of friends recommend that I go to Facebook. It’s so much prettier, they told me. It’s so much more uniform.

At first, I found it boring. Then, I was relieved that I wasn’t being forced to try to read hot-pink writing on a violet background. Then, I settled in and found that, indeed, the simplicity and uniformity of the interface made it easier to pay attention to content. Substance over style, if you will.

But what’s left of the substance of Facebook? It’s gone from being a simple place to connect with friends to being a pig in a patchwork prom dress. Woe betide those who just wanted to hang out with a pig for a while.

Some say the changes to Facebook earlier this year were done with the intent of making it more like Twitter. But the problem is, you can’t have your cake and eat it, too. No matter how fancy it gets (not very), Twitter boils down to 140-character updates between people who have decided to follow each other.

Twitter is what it is. But Facebook is no longer what it was designed to be.

In conclusion…
The reason I decided to write this post is that I don’t want people to feel like I don’t want to be their friend because I’m not accessible on Facebook. The interesting thing is, the YA book blogging community has largely steered clear of Facebook in favor of Twitter, and I think it’s because Twitter offers the clean, simple, easy interaction that Facebook once did but no longer does.

The simple fact of the matter is, I’ve locked down my Facebook account. For the time being, it’s the best way to share photos and info with my friends and family, so I’m keeping my account. But I’ve turned off friend requests.

But as far as using it as a marketing tool? I cringe when I see authors jump headfirst into Facebook–first, because I have a sinking feeling they’re going to friend me, and second, because I think it’s a lot of wasted effort. The only thing I can think to do is to have a Bad Girls Don’t Die fan page, which to be honest doesn’t see a lot of excitement these days (although I do post updates there whenever something newsworthy happens).

I mean, maybe I’m out of touch, but I think there are plenty of things fans and readers don’t particularly care to know about authors. And they probably have some things they don’t want me accessing, either.

Instead, you can find me here on the blog, you can learn about me through my various info pages, and you can contact me through the contact link in the header. If you want to know what I think about rude drivers and what I’m planning to eat for dinner, follow me on Twitter.

As the web continues to evolve, social networking is going to evolve, too. It’s a shame that something as powerful and useful as Facebook has taken so many missteps and has ended up walking off, in my opinion, into the dusty hills.

You could win a prize consisting of:
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How to enter:
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Enter by commenting below:

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