kameelahwrites

migration!

2010-04-27T20:25:00.000-07:00

i've have moved over to blog.kameelahr.com. needed a space that didn't carry the baggage of 2006-2009. i imported just the 2010 posts. please visit me there. i will keep kameelahwrites up for two more weeks before it's gone. thanks folks! it's been a fun ride, but transition and change is so necessary.

below is the screenshot for my new space:

also photos from nyc:

36/2010: f-stop magazine.

2010-04-09T10:26:00.000-07:00

almost forgot...two of my photographs were selected for f-stop magazine's open theme for the months of april and may. i sent in 11 photos and they chose the following two:

traffic light

lonely floors

35/2010: i have a real portfolio!

2010-04-09T08:27:00.001-07:00

i finally coughed up the extra dollars to have a real portfolio. go check it out here:

also, some new photos (and some throwbacks):

34/2010: public transportation-35mm.

2010-04-05T12:35:00.000-07:00

33/2010: night shots.

2010-04-05T12:30:00.000-07:00

32/2010: moody.

2010-04-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

i am in a bright mood, but i love my moody and dark photographs.

31/2010: process.

2010-03-28T10:14:00.000-07:00

1. missed fajr. FAIL.
2. said, "these streets smell like piss, bbq, and hope. good morning."
3. designed cover for anthology.
4. crossed a bunch of things off my to do list.
5. cried a bit about how much i love teaching and students. be a teacher for a year and you'll met some amazing folks.
6. order a necklace & scarf from urban outfitters.
7. listened to michael jackson's 'pretty young thing' and felt like it could have been about me.
8. listened to jay electronica's 'exhibit c' and remembered that 'you either build or destroy.'
9. wrote this post.

30/2010: realization.

2010-03-27T17:08:00.000-07:00

sometimes you think you are fighting others and the impressions others hold of you. this is all before you reach that celebratory realization that you have in fact been fighting yourself--the fear you create and the previous incarnations of a young and unsure spirit.

it's been a long day made longer my unnecessary doubt and bad music. but i am good, now. Allah has a way of sending me a message (often great news via gmail) to kick me back and gear and remind me that good things are here NOW and COMING.

hustle, hustle, hustle. really, there is no time to fret and to be doubtful. doubt has been my best buddy for too long. time to end this unhealthy relationship.

29/2010: expired 35mm film (not sure what year-1970s), px 135-20 kodak plus x-pan.

2010-03-25T18:32:00.000-07:00

split shadows 2.

split shadows.

spill.

28/2010: lockers & feet.

2010-03-25T18:10:00.000-07:00

lockers.

feet.

27/2010: peculiar place.

2010-03-18T22:50:00.000-07:00

i am in a peculiar place. it is uncomfortable and unpredictable. however, i am learning a lot of patience. words escape me. i am trying my best to avoid oblique prose and nonsense which is at least part of the reason why i've abandoned writing to an extent. silence is a good thing. i have found myself rather silent these days. sometimes i wander about taking photographs, and rarely speak. there is something comfortable in disconnecting for a bit to interpret silence because at times there is so much to absorb and render meaningful.

i am not sad. i am just reflective and aloof at times.

there are several amazing things happening in my life right now and i think that may be the source of my anxiety. i lack the time to make sense of everything and everyone entering my life.

i hope to have more time soon.

26/2010: march reflection.

2010-03-06T22:29:00.000-08:00

i have been absent from this space for a while. in the past few months, word have not come very easily. photographs are much easier to produce and seem to better articulate my moods. it is quite difficult to write. i feel like i do not have the words to craft coherent sentences. i am always tired. all i can say at this point is that things are changing. it's a disorienting feeling. i want to be still and present, but it has become increasingly difficult. i am distant these days. i need to make a lot of decisions in the coming weeks and i am not sure what i am doing. inshaAllah, whatever i decide brings a sense of calm. i am just trying to find my way back home. home being that spiritual and physical place where i feel rested but not restless. trying to find my way home.

i know i need to do more work reconnecting with my creator. it seems that in these times, Him and i grow distant not because i do not need Him but because i feel overwhelmed by battle between routine and ritual versus love-inspired action. sometimes when i am praying, i am so distracted and careless. there are days when prayer and dhikr are centered and purposeful--not ritual. i want to go back there. i just need a cocoon to crawl into for a few days to sort things out.

25/2010: air.

2010-03-06T22:20:00.000-08:00

i love everything about this photo.

24/2010: 35mm.

2010-03-06T22:16:00.000-08:00

(62) 365/2010: getting tacos.

(53) 365/2010: 'do you feel like a remnant/of something that's past/ do you find things are moving/ just a little too fast'*

(53a)

23/2010: i am here (with photos).

2010-03-05T17:53:00.000-08:00

(52) 365/2010: forward.

(51) 365/2010: lonely rotations.

(50) 365/2010: burnt orange morning.

(49) 365/2010:'i've been here before, dreaming myself/backwards, among grappling hooks of light.../hunger quivers on a fleshy string/at the crossroad.so deep in the lore,/ there's only tomorrow today where darkness/ splinters & wounds the bird of paradise...'* (* yusef komunyakaa's poem 'confluence' from his 'thieves of paradise' collection)

(49c) 365/2010: POWER [lines]

(49b) 365/2010.

(49a) 365/2010.

22/2010: competition.

2010-02-19T09:43:00.000-08:00

re: competition between artists.

i think certain degrees of competition are natural because it pushes you to improve. however, i find competition between artists trite and counterproductive. i think art of any medium is about making your spirit visible and making yourself vulnerable. i am not sure why people think it is possible to compare spirits and create hierarchies of vulnerability. my work is just as much for me as it is for others. and in most cases, when we compare our work to others, we are comparing output (what we see), rather than looking at the input (what cannot always be seen--the emotion, the spirit, etc). it makes sense that our work is different, because our spirits are different.

i am not sure if i am articulating all of this well, but i am trying. what i want to be clear is that we have a responsibility to be true to ourselves. whatever that means. if we are untrue to ourselves we are depriving the world of something special...maybe the most beautiful thing you could have ever created..

21/2010: darkroom.

2010-02-18T08:25:00.000-08:00

i love the darkroom. it is a meditative space...just you, that red light, and the chemicals. i don't like when people talk to me in the darkroom because i feel like the process of creating an image is a sacred moment.

these are a few that i've printed so far. i haven't been in the darkroom since 2005. my first time back in was quite an experience. i never strive for perfection with my prints. i like the rough edges and the darkness. i like moody and grainy photos. i have never been very interested in 'nature shots' because they seem so mundane at times. consequently, i focused on shadows and darkness when shooting this time around.

(48) 365/2010: somber.

black.

20/2010: something...in the way of things.

2010-02-18T08:17:00.000-08:00

up.

baltimore-2006...lost&found photos.

brother's shadows.

some kind of beige.

brother's ghosts.

light straddle.

19/2010: other.

2010-02-18T08:16:00.000-08:00

18/2010: photo a day #44-48.

2010-02-18T08:10:00.000-08:00

(47) 365/2010: tv glow.

(46) 365/2010: purple.

(45) 365/2010: creep.

(44) 365/2010: push.

17/2010: 14th street/joyce gordon gallery.

2010-02-13T09:59:00.000-08:00

i am in the all women group show, 'for colored girls only,' a celebration of women representing every “color, age, size, gender, local and international as a form of politics/non-politics, and as a body of thought at the joyce gordon gallery in oakland. [and an article by nijla mu'min on oakland local: she who comes with her own things]

photos from the evening:

lonely floors.

spectator.

descent.

16/2010: fall up.

2010-02-13T09:48:00.000-08:00

(43) 365/2010: lure.

(42) 365/2010: gloom.

15/2010: moving parts.

2010-02-11T00:22:00.000-08:00

these fews weeks have been rather difficult. there are a lot of moving parts and i need to make many decisions. accepted a position as a visual arts editor, i may start freelance writing again, i have a group gallery show this weekend, working on summer travel plans, working on pulling this non-profit in rwanda together, being a teacher & pseudo-social worker...i am just trying to gain grounding. correcting papers, meetings, trying to keep up at the gym.

next week is a break for me. alhamdulillah.

14/2010: surplus from los angeles.

2010-02-11T00:12:00.000-08:00

light dots.

slauson.

rocker.

abandoned.

mantle.

lace trim.

screen shadow.

13/2010: fast forward.

2010-02-10T23:56:00.000-08:00

(41) 365/2010: black.

(41a) 365/2010: black.

(40) 365/2010: dark night.

(39) 365/2010: sfo waiting.

(38) 365/2010: secrets.

(37) 365/2010: cat feeding.

(36) 365/2010: red rain.

(35) 365/2010: drops.

(34a) 365/2010: test strip.

(34) 365/2010: wednesday flowers.

(33) 365/2010: closet space.

(32) 365/2010: marshes.

(31) 365/2010: carcass.

(30) 365/2010: table manners.