Just A Guy Thing

New Ferrari 458 Approaches Release Date, Steals My Heart

Penn — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 11:00:54 +0000

I’ve always been a big fan of Ferraris. There designs have always been timeless, understated, and sophisticated, unlike a Lamborghini which historically have had a bit more of a spaceship thing going on. Whereas a Lamborghini looks like it’s gonna fly away, a Ferrari has always just looked like it’s gonna drive really, really fast.

The last Ferrari model I remember being discussed was the California:

which is a modern nod to Ferris Bueller’s chariot:

Don’t get me wrong, the modern interpretation is a good looking car, but as Ferraris go, it seems a bit girly. Should a Ferrari have a retractable hardtop? Maybe, but in my mind it doesn’t.

However, with their next outing, Ferrari managed to make me fall in love with them all over again, and it only took eight cylinders instead of their usual 12.

It’s lines are more jagged and less curvy than what we’ve come to expect from Ferrari, but the car speaks for itself. It’s a handsome devil of a car that appears fast as anything else out there. Here are the specs:

Mid-Mount V8
570 Horsepower
3,048 lbs
202 MPH
0-60 MPH @ less than 3.5 seconds

Hard to argue with that. Now go get that $225,000 you’ve got under your mattress. And pick one up for me, too.

More pics of the 458 here.

No Way This Could Backfire: Bengals Sign Terrell Owens

Penn — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 00:35:56 +0000

Owens and (then) Johnson in what I can only assume is step 92 of a 116-step handshake.

In news that reminds us that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result, the Cinncinasty Bengals have answered the question no one asked by picking up Terrell Owens for 1 year and $2mm bucks.

While this isn’t the worst move the league has seen this off-season (we’ll save that honor for whoever picks up Jamarcus Russell in a month or two), it doesn’t really seem to solve a problem for the Bengals, but rather adheres to the “we’ll take the best available player” philosophy.

Both WR Chad Johnson (not calling him Ochocinco. Sorry) and QB Carson Palmer have apparently lobbied hard for TO’s signing, but please bear in mind that a) Ochocinco also lobbied for Jamarcus Russell to come to Cincy this summer and b) Palmer probably gunned for TO’s signing because, with #85 on your team, even the signing of Terrell Owens will lower the average level of crazy on your squad.

Palmer’s about 30, which raises the question why the Bengals wouldn’t invest their energies in developing one or two young receivers rather than catching two falling stars during Palmer’s prime.

That said, if you happen to catch TO and 85 in a bar in the Cincinnati, for God’s sake, get a picture. I once got a pic with TO, Tank Johnson, and Pac-Man Jones at a hotel in Dallas. Two things came of that: A federal state of emergency was called, and I got my Christmas card photo knocked out.

Also…you’ll never be able to un-see this:

Enjoy your day.

Kid Gets Caught Watching Porn and Smoking Pot by His Parents….This Is His Punishment:

Penn — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 11:00:31 +0000

Too funny not to post. The sign kind of explains it all. I’m pretty sure I would have this signed stapled to my back during high school and college if I had this kid’s parents.

Thanks, Geekologie!

Free Weed in NYC! Free Weed in NYC!

Penn — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 11:00:29 +0000

According to a piece in F Listed, marijuana plants are growing like…uh…weeds in Manhattan. In a city that is known for having alligators crawl out of toilets, this isn’t entirely outside the realm of possibility. What’s most remarkable is that this doesn’t appear to be part of any sinister scheme, but rather just an alturistic gift to the overworked, over-stressed New York City populace.

So if you’re walking down a street in the Village, be sure to take some time and smell the schwag. I give it two months before “Crack Trees” start sprouting up in Alphabet City.

Thanks to F Listed for bringing this important matter to our attention.

Hipster Trend Alert: Random-Ass NBA Jerseys

Penn — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 11:00:15 +0000

About three or four websites (seemingly independently) have commented on the latest fashion venture by hipsters – mid-90’s NBA jerseys worn in an ironic style.

As this article from The Faster Times demonstrate, those on the lookout at last week’s Pitchfork Music Festival were able to field an entire 15-man roster based on the jersey selection. The only rule here seems to be “the more random and esoteric, the better”. Hakeem Olajuwon Rockets jersey? Lame. Hakeem Olajuwon Toronto Raptors jersey? Awesome. A high premium is also placed on under-performing draft picks like Larry Johnson, Derrick Coleman, or Harold Miner and any Rudy Gay jersey.

I’m glad I held on to that ‘95 Rockets Sam Cassell jersey.

Food Trucks: Not Just for Construction Workers Anymore

Penn — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 11:00:02 +0000

If you’re anywhere NY or LA, you’ve probably noticed them posted up in busy shopping areas during the day and bar-heavy blocks at night. At the risk of editorializing, food trucks are just awesome. Once catering to construction personnel that couldn’t take the time to travel too far off site, now food truck are popping up everywhere, most notably in hip or emerging neighborhoods.

And while the fare offered from these trucks was originally tacos and the like, now if you can dream it up, there is probably a truck somewhere in our fair nation shelling it out for a couple bucks. While even a small dive restaurant can cost upwards of $250k-$300k to open, food trucks can be opened for substantially less (less than $100k in most instances), so chefs and restaurateurs can afford to be more risky and edgy with their offering. Similarly, the low price point of the trucks’ offerings and their transient nature encourage diners to try something they normally wouldn’t, if only cause you can grab it and go, rather than have to sit in a restaurant that you may not like.

A perfect example are the Kogi food trucks in LA. These trucks fuse Korean flavors and ingredients into tacos, burritos and the like. The first truck travelled all over the LA area, drawing lines so long that the founders eventually added two more trucks to the fleet, meaning that you’re three times as likely to have a truck in your vicinity.

If Korean tacos don’t sound like you’re cup of tea, how about a trucks that specialize in grilled cheese, cupcakes, French Asian cuisine (!), gourmet sliders, or pretty much anything else you can eat with your hands. A meal at any given food truck is almost always under ten bucks, and if you’re worrying about sanitation practices, you can relax. These food trucks have become high-profile and many are operated by reputed chefs in the area, so do some reasearch on Yelp! or the like if you’re weary, you’re probably in good hands.

So they’re cheap, clean, safe…what else? They’re fun. It’s hard not to be reminded of being a little kid and visiting the ice cream man with a big pile of change in your hands when you’re ordering at the window. It’s a tremendously social way to dine, as most people simply get their food, sit on a curb, chow down, and enjoy the weather.

The only (small) hassle is catching up with these things. Some stay put all day, some never seem to stop moving around. Get on the internet. I’ve never heard of a food truck that doesn’t post its location to twitter. If checking twitter isn’t your thing, well, there’s a fuckin’ app for that. You’re out of excuses.

These things are all the rage, so if there’s not one in your town, just wait. I’m sure there will be. And if you don’t feel like waiting, start your own. As I mentioned, the investment cost is relatively low and the revenues can be as high as $700,000 per year. Not bad for a roach coach. If you’re interested in getting on the supply side and starting your own food truck, this article from the Wall Street Journal is as good a place as any to get some background.

And remember – If the food sucks, you can always slash their tires.

Meet the Kid Who Traded a Cell Phone for a Porsche (Sort of). File under “Bad Careers”

Penn — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 11:00:36 +0000

This kid makes a living trading things on Craigslist. He used every trade to get something of slightly more value, until he got a Porsche.

Sound good? It really isn’t. He spent two years making the trades, eventually getting a $15k Ford Bronco from the 70’s. He decided to undo about 6months of his work by trading it in for a Porsche Boxster that blue-books at about $9k. Sweet?

Just goes to show you, if you obsessively interact with weirdos on Craigslist for two short years at 5- hours per day (!) instead of getting a real job, you too can score a really old fun-size Porsche.

Find out more about the story right….here!

Mondays Suck. This Guide to Convincing Your Wife or GF You Didn’t Black Out Last Night Doesn’t

Penn — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 11:00:19 +0000

We’ve all gotten too drunk. Some of us did it last night or are even doing it right now. However, a drunk night out is usually followed by a trail of destruction that we need to apologize for. Our friends at Zombie Worldwide put together a pretty entertaining guide to convincing your loved ones that you didn’t black out last night, but rather just decided the stairs were a good place to nap and that that ficus tree would make a pretty great toilet.

Take a look and, hopefully, laugh. You’ll need to This week is going to be a bitch.

Click below to see the guide in its entirety.

Don’t act surprised when you see Jack-in-the-Box wrappers and half-eaten burger in your living room – you probably convinced your wife you were cool to drive for a late night food run.

Never say “How did I get this injury?”

Never ask who vomited in the kitchen.

Stop referring to your AA sponsor as a dick head.

Blame the fist-shaped holes in the wall that spell out the name of your ex-girlfriend on her.

When she says “You were acting really weird last night when we had sex,” instead of saying “We had sex?” say, “Weirdly awesome, you mean!”

Of course you wanted that neck tattoo of “tatu” (from Mystery Island featuring Mr. [Senor] Ricardo Montalban.) Get it, honey?

Roofie her preemptively, then give her shit for passing out

Say, “Man, this mattress is incredible. I slept like a baby.” (Don’t mention that it smells like urine).

Say, “Man, sleeping on the floor really fixed my bad back. I slept like a baby. (Don’t mention that you smell like urine)

Give her guilt trip for not fulfilling your rape fantasy.

Claim that the medication you’re secretly taking to be a better husband really knocks you out.

When she wakes you, avoid asking, “Who the fuck are you?”

“The Hangover 2″ Goes to Thailand. I Guess Amsterdam Would’ve Been Too Obvious

Penn — Fri, 23 Jul 2010 11:00:28 +0000

There’s only a couple places in the world that would make a better setting for the Hangover sequel than Las Vegas. And it would appear that the producers have found one. Thailand. Comingsoon.net reports that the Asian Deadwood will serve as the backdrop for the gang’s next misadventure in this short article. By the time it’s released, young Carlos should be about three years old. I wonder if that’s too young to sell him as a sex slave. Hey – Ed Helms removed his own teeth in the first one, so you can’t rule anything out.

Is there any chance there ISN’T gonna be some wacky misunderstanding with a transsexual prostitute? Let’s hope for Zach Galifianakis’ sake that Thailand is pager-friendly, and they aren’t staying too close to any schools.

Can You Spot the Vajayjay? Some Obvious Ads

Lindsay Lohan Goes from Sunset Tower to This – Inside Her Jail Cell

Penn — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 11:30:29 +0000

F Listed gives us a peek inside LiLo’s jail cell. And, of course, it sucks. It’s jail. If it was nice, I’d be hittin’ and runnin’ like a drunk octogenarian.

Word on the street is that she will only be “enjoying” her accommodations for 14 days of her 90-day sentence due to overcrowding issues. Still got a problem with Lohan’s incarceration? Talk to this guy.

Tech Thursday – The Indestructible Jump Drive

Penn — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 11:00:27 +0000

Although I’m storing most of my documents online these days, I always carry a USB drive with me. You just never know when you’ll need to transfer some documents, grab a file from a friend or help someone backup their photo collection. Usually the drives I use are the disposable types given away for free at trade shows, but if you’re looking for the best storage and protection money can buy - LaCie’s new XTremeKey is a tank!

The LaCie XtremKey USB flash drive gives you industrial-strength protection up to 64 gigs at a time. The tiny drive comes in a case that is watertight up to 300 feet, laughs at drops up to 16 feet and doesn’t mind being in boiling temperatures of up to 400 degrees Fahrenheit or frozen 122 degrees below zero. Did I mention it can withstand the pressure of a 10-ton truck? There’s even some personality built in – it’ll do a little wobbly balancing act when you put it on your desk.

lacie.com, starting at $50 – available in August

Rich DeMuro is a tech journalist who is always on the lookout for the latest and greatest gadgets, mobile apps and useful websites. He is constantly upgrading his cell phone in a never ending quest for better features. He has appeared on CNET, CBS, The Today Show and more. His website is www.stuffrichlikes.com

Cleveland Still REALLY Upset with LeBron, Unveils New “Quitness” Beer

Penn — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 11:00:48 +0000

Beer is still the second favorite thing in Cleveland. That’s never changed. The first has, however. While the favorite thing in Cleveland used to be LeBron James, now it’s hating LeBron James for betraying the city. Be it tearing down murals, burning jerseys, or introducing new beers that are marketed by playing to Clevelander’s disgust with the superstar, the city can’t get enough of LeBron hating.

Our friends at flisted.com have noted that the IPA brew leaves a bitter taste in your mouth, not unlike a certain sports star. Read their lowdown on the beverage right here. And don’t piss off Cleveland. They’ll never stop drinking to your demise.

Links Upside Your Head – 07/21/10

Penn — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 11:00:45 +0000

David Fincher (director of Fight Club) is directing the new Facebook movie. Judging from the trailer, it’s got a decidedly dark slant and features a soundtrack from Radiohead and a score by Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails. Get excited.

Ego TV has posted a collection of celebrity mug shots, some of which you’ve probably seen before, some of which you haven’t. There aren’t any names to the pictures, so see how good you are at identifying drunk/cracked out celebrities. Fun for the whole family.

F Listed has opened our eyes to the development of vibrating seats in cars. Now you can bliss out and just relax before you fall asleep and wrap your car around a telephone pole. Thanks, scientists!!!

Made Man has introduced us to a tasty little number by the name of Leighton Meester. Her IMDB profile shows that she’s been a regular on Gossip Girl, which explains why I’ve never heard of her. And pics of her in various states of undress can be found right…..here.

If you’re shipping off to college in the fall, here’s a fairly balanced look at reasons to stay independent or go Greek from our friends at Bro Bible. I gotta say though that “free Fraternity clothes” is a bit of fallacy. Pretty sure your dues pay for those “free clothes”.

Sharktopus, motherfuckers!

With the economy still yet to fully recover, perhaps there’s a career opportunity in private ninja lessons. However, think ninja lessons would be more fun as a group, rather than “private”. This is coming from a non-ninja, though, so what do I know? Thanks to Cool Material for this one.

Stripper poles for the elderly? Okay! I’m not gonna tell them how to live their lives! Thanks to Geekologie for this bad boy.

Lastly, Michael Jordan finds a thinly-veiled way of calling LeBron James a bitch. Miss Manners herself would be proud of MJ.

The 86 Rules of Boozing – The Drunkard’s Bible

Penn — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 11:00:57 +0000

Here is an absolutely indispensable reference for anyone who spends more time at bars than they do at home. It comes to us from a website called Modern Drunkard. These guys do boozing right. No pretense, no trends, just proper drinking etiquette, any time, any place. Here is the list, so spend some time studying to make sure you’re playing by the rules the next time you tie one on.

Some favorites:

7. Never borrow more than one cigarette from the same person in one night.

14. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she refuses, she does not like you.

15. If you offer to buy a woman a drink and she accepts, she still might not like you.

35. Learn to appreciate hangovers. If it was all good times every jackass would be doing it.

59. If you are broke and a friend is “sporting you”, you must laugh at all his jokes and play wingman when he makes his move.

62. If you are trading rounds with a friend and he asks if you’re ready for another, always say yes. Once you fall out of sync you will end up buying more drinks than him.

82. There’s nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you’re supposed to be at work.

Saved by the Bell: A Rod Belding Retrospective.

Penn — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 00:01:44 +0000

Yet another reason why the internet exists. Best 9 minutes you can spend with your pants on.

Study Says the Best Sex Lasts 7-13 Minutes

Mondays Suck. This Email Exchange Between Coworkers Doesn’t.

Penn — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 11:00:45 +0000

Because we’re all staring into the abyss that is five straight days of work, we at JAGT figured we could throw some humor your way. You don’t even need to thank us. But if you wanted to, you could click on all our ads. Thanks.

Stumbling upon this was one of those instances where I just wanted to wrap my arms around the internet and give it a great big hug. It’s by a guy who seemingly made a name for himself being a total (funny) dick through email correspondence. If you haven’t come across his “spider drawing” email chain, you can find it here.

Being the voracious internet archaeologists (read: underemployed writers) that we are, we came across another piece of his that should warm your collective hearts. He promises to help a coworker print up signs to help find her lost cat and fucks with her mercilessly. Click here and hilarity will ensue.

Seattle Candidate for Mayor Proposes Eliminating Closing Time for Bars

Penn — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 11:00:27 +0000

What if there was no bar time? Would life go on as usual, or would every weekend play out like a drunken weekend in Vegas or New Orleans? Seattle could be the guinea pig in this little experiment if Mayoral candidate Mike McGinn gets elected.

His argument is that the sea of drunkards exiting bars at precisely 2:00 AM causes an undue strain on law enforcement and other municipal resources, as well as lending itself to drunken fights and undue noise. If there was no bar time, people would trickle out of bars in a steady stream over the course of the night, creating a flow that is manageable for law enforcement.

Our friends at flisted.com have a rundown of the proposal here. While I don’t necessarily agree with the logic, I am interested to see how this no bar time proposal would play out in a “regular” American city. Here’s to hing it works so well that it comes to our cities next…

Links – 07/15/10

Penn — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 11:00:17 +0000

Too much of a god thing is at best disgusting and at worst can kill you: This Houston woman’s M-Cup breast implants have become infect with staph after her 30th operation. She was thinking about a 31st plastic surgery, but decided it would be overkill. Story here.

And, because the internet has to have a new collective food obsession every week, I present to you, The Candwich. Putting one in your child’s lunchbox is a nice way to say “I hate you” without having to move your lips.

Thanks to our friends at Cool Material for this one: The Mercedes Urban Assault Vehicle (my name, not theirs), pictured above. Finally you can scare the living shit out of everyone else on the road…in luxury.

Hey everyone! It’s salmon-flavored vodka! If you give someone a bottle of this in conjunction with a canned sandwich, it’s technically considered assault and you can go to a jail for a really long time. Thanks (I guess) to Made Man for the hot tip on this delicious libation.

Gunaxin has this piece on the 10 Best Narcotic Offenders in NFL History. Kudos to Gunaxin for taking the time to whittle the list down to ten. I don’t what the descriptor “best” really means here, but stay tuned for JAGT’s list of the Best Genocides of the Past 500 Years.

CO-ED magazine presents us with 7 Things You Can’t Do After College, though I would posit it could just as easily be called 7 Things You Won’t Want to Do After College. I mean, is anyone really going to miss living with nine guys and blacking out?

In case you are lacking in the way of food-porn, here’s a slideshow of the 101 best sandwiches in NYC. Drooling on your laptop voids its warranty, by the way.

From the tastefully named “muffslap.com”, here’s a gallery of chicks kissing each other for our own benefit. Thanks, muffslap.com!!!!

The Whole Package – Queen Rania of Jordan

Penn — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 11:00:12 +0000

If we’re gonna talk about the women of our dreams, I think we can do a little better than that 23 year-old who was on the remake of “Melrose Place” for three episodes. Girls like that, though very hot, are hardly a rare breed. As long as reality television exists there will be a near-endless supply of vapid hot girls (and guys) that may be easy on the eyes, but aren’t really bringing a whole lot else to the table.

That’s why if you find one with looks and smarts and a good heart, you hang on to her like grim death. Which is exactly what King Abdullah of Jordan did when he met his wife Rania (pictured above). They were married in 1993, though he didn’t ascend to the throne till 1999. SInce then, she has taken her education and status and used them both to start initiatives to refurbish Jordanian schools, promote environmental awareness worldwide, and bridge the cultural gaps between the Arab and western worlds.

And, in case you couldn’t tell, she’s also on-fire hot. For that reason, click the more button for a few more pictures of the fairest queen in all the land.

New Website Helps Determine If You’re Getting Screwed by Your Auto Repair Place

Penn — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 11:00:10 +0000

Author’s note: Rich DeMuro is a new contributor to Just A Guy Thing via his site Stuff Rich Likes, a practical tech and gadgets website that doesn’t require a PhD to understand. He posts regularly about all aspects of the tech world, so I encourage you to check out his site for other interesting and helpful articles.

Usually, when I take my car into the shop I’m prepared for the worst. ”The A/C seems warm” turns into “your condensor is shot,” some explanation I don’t understand and a $700 repair estimate. What to do next? I really don’t know if I’m getting a bum deal, and something tells me the average person has no clue what’s fair at the repair shop.

RepairPal takes the mystery out of car repairs with a simple tool that will tell you the average price you should be paying for a repair in your zip code. You just pop in a few details about your repair and car, and it will do the rest. It breaks down the estimated repair cost in a few ways, showing you the range to expect depending on whether you go through a dealer or independent repair shop, the cost of labor and parts, plus the parts usually needed and how much they cost. The result? You can feel better about making an informed repair decision, and you don’t have to scramble to get your friend the “car expert” on the phone to ask a dozen questions.

Free, repairpal.com