Joy 'N' Escapade

The Unexpected Joy of Learning Korean Through Food (Featuring Seoul Gukbap 1988)

2026-06-07T18:36:09.275+08:00

When I started learning Korean (한국어) and Hangeul (한글) seriously about two weeks ago, my goal was fairly simple: hopefully in a year or so, I'd be able to understand conversations in K-dramas without depending on the subtitles, sing along to my favourite 블랙핑크 (BLACKPINK) songs, and go for more trips to South Korea a little more confidently.

But recently, I've discovered that learning Hangeul has added a whole new layer of enjoyment to Korean food. Previously, dishes like 육개장 (yukgaejang), 순대 (sundae), and 국밥 (gukbap) were simply menu items with names I couldn't read.

Now, whenever I see a Korean menu, I find myself sounding out familiar words and quietly celebrating each small victory when I recognise a dish or even manage to pronounce it correctly.

So when my husband and I visited Seoul Gukbap 1988 at Desa ParkCity for our early wedding anniversary meal, I found myself looking at the menu as if I were reading a Korean dictionary.

Starting with Gukbap

The restaurant specialises in 국밥 (gukbap), one of Korea's most beloved comfort foods.

The word itself is wonderfully straightforward. 국 (guk) means soup, while 밥 (bap) means rice. When you put the two words together, they describe a complete meal of soup and rice, a dish that defines generations of Koreans.

It may not be the type of food that usually goes viral on social media. It is humble, practical, and comforting. Totally my kind of meal – underrated and not hyped.

시래기 뼈해장국 (Siraegi Ppyeo Haejangguk)

That day, I ordered the 시래기 뼈해장국 (Siraegi Ppyeo Haejangguk).

The name sounds intimidating at first, but let's break it down to makes it less mysterious. 시래기 (siraegi) means dried radish greens, 뼈 (ppyeo) means bone, and 해장국 (haejangguk) is often translated as a "hangover soup" traditionally eaten to recover after a night of drinking.

What arrived was a steaming bowl of properly simmered pork broth, packed with bold flavour, large chunks of pork backbone, and vegetables. It was hearty, satisfying, and exactly the kind of meal that satisfies both my heart and soul.

육개장 (Yukgaejang)

One of the words I recognised on the menu was 육개장 (Yukgaejang). A Korean comfort food classic, Yukgaejang is a spicy beef soup and also happens to be my husband's default order whenever we visit a Korean restaurant that isn't serving Korean barbecue.

Compared to the pork backbone soup, Yukgaejang has a bolder flavour profile. The broth is rich, spicy, and packed with shredded beef brisket and vegetables.

Side Dishes Worth Sharing

순대 (Sundae)

We ordered 순대 (Sundae), Korea's famous blood sausage. For those unfamiliar with Korean cuisine, sundae can seem intimidating at first. Yet it remains one of Korea's most popular traditional foods and can be found everywhere from street food stalls to restaurants.

Initially, I wanted to order the 순대국밥 (Sundae Gukbap), a hearty rice soup featuring Korean blood sausage and offal. However, the 시래기 뼈해장국 (Siraegi Ppyeo Haejangguk) eventually won me over. Not wanting to completely abandon my sundae ambitions, I simply dropped a few pieces into my soup instead.

고기만두 (Gogi Mandu)

We also ordered 고기만두 (Gogi Mandu), or meat dumplings. 고기 (gogi) means meat, and 만두 (mandu) means dumplings. These were warm, juicy, and comforting in the way good dumplings always are.

부추 바지락전 (Buchu Bajirak Jeon)

Much to our surprise, the team at Seoul Gukbap 1988 treated us to the 부추 바지락전 (Buchu Bajirak Jeon), a savoury pancake made with chives and clams. Thank you for the lovely gesture!

부추 (buchu) means chives, 바지락 (bajirak) means clams, and 전 (jeon) refers to a Korean savoury pancake. Put together, it means chive and clam pancake. Crispy on the outside and soft on the inside, it paired wonderfully with our rice and soup dishes.

김치 (Kimchi)

Learning Korean Through Food

As I continue learning Korean, I realise that language study is about more than vocabulary lists and grammar exercises. Sometimes, it's as simple as celebrating the small victory of being able to read a menu in Korean!

Perhaps that is why I enjoyed this meal more than I expected.

The food was delicious, certainly. But what stayed with me was definitely the quiet satisfaction of recognising a few words and feeling slightly closer to a culture that I have grown increasingly fond of.

For someone who spent her childhood reading dictionaries for fun, perhaps this was inevitable. These days, I find myself sounding out Korean words on restaurant menus. And honestly, I think my younger self would have approved.

About Seoul Gukbap 1988

Address: A-G-10, Plaza Arkadia, Jalan Residen 3, Desa Parkcity, 52200 Kuala Lumpur

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Korean Skincare Ingredients I'm Using and Watching in 2026

2026-06-06T00:03:05.146+08:00

From Glass Skin to Skin Longevity

If you do follow Korean skincare trends over the past decade, you've probably come across the term "glass skin" at least once. For years, the ideal seemed to be skin that was flawlessly smooth, poreless, luminous, and almost reflective.

But lately, many skincare conversations are beginning to shift away from chasing perfect skin and towards something much more practical: skin longevity. The shift is from "how do I get flawless skin?" to "how do I keep my skin healthy, resilient, and functioning well as I age?"

One Korean beauty trend report described skinimalism as creating a skincare routine that lasts over time and focuses on meeting the skin's basic needs rather than pursuing constant optimisation. As someone navigating midlife and perimenopause, I find this shift refreshing.

Skin is not just a beauty accessory. It's the largest organ in the human body. Its primary job is to protect us, regulate temperature, and serve as a barrier between our bodies and the outside world. So instead of chasing perfection, I'm becoming more interested in maintaining healthy skin for the next twenty years.

The Eight Ingredients That Have Earned a Permanent Place on My Shelf

Before talking about newer trends, it's worth recognising that some ingredients remain popular because they consistently deliver results.

The "Boring" Heroes

These are the ingredients that quietly keep my skin functioning like a healthy organ.

#1: Hyaluronic Acid (Hydration)

Hyaluronic acid is a humectant that helps attract and retain moisture in the skin. Many signs of ageing are often amplified by dehydration. Skin can look duller, feel less comfortable, and even make fine lines appear more noticeable. While HA won't stop the ageing process, it can help the skin look and feel more hydrated and plump.

#2: Centella Asiatica (Soothing & Recovery)

If there is one ingredient that appears repeatedly in my skincare collection, it's probably Centella Asiatica (cica), known for its soothing and barrier-supporting properties.

#3: Ceramides (Barrier Health)

Ceramides are naturally found in the skin and help maintain moisture while protecting against environmental stressors. Rather than focusing solely on anti-ageing ingredients, ceramides help keep my skin comfortable, resilient, and less prone to irritation.

#4: Panthenol (Hydration & Repair)

Panthenol (provitamin B5) is known for its hydrating and soothing properties, making it a useful addition for skin that occasionally feels dry, tight, or a little stressed.

In summary, hyaluronic acid, centella, ceramides, and panthenol help with hydration, barrier function, comfort, and resilience.

The "Strategic" Heroes

Once hydration and barrier health are covered, these are the ingredients I pay attention to for specific concerns such as pigmentation, brightness, and skin firmness.

#5: Niacinamide (Skin Tone & Barrier Support)

Niacinamide helps improve uneven skin tone, reduce excess oil, and soften the appearance of pigmentation. As someone dealing with mild sunspots and uneven tone, it's one of the ingredients I continue to keep in my routine.

#6: Tranexamic Acid (Pigmentation & Skin Tone)

Tranexamic acid is known for helping address concerns such as melasma, sun spots, and uneven skin tone. It focuses on supporting a more even-looking complexion without being overly aggressive – definitely one of those quietly effective ingredients that deserves more attention than it sometimes gets.

#7: Vitamin C (Brightening & Antioxidant Support)

Vitamin C remains a favourite for brightening and antioxidant protection against environmental stress.

#8: Peptides (Firmness & Elasticity)

If there is one ingredient category I'm paying more attention to in midlife, it's probably peptides. Peptides are often associated with skin firmness, elasticity, and collagen support. No cream is going to erase nasolabial folds overnight, but peptides seem to fit well with my current philosophy of supporting the skin rather than aggressively trying to fix it.

In summary, niacinamide, TXA, vitamin C, and peptides help with pigmentation, brightness, firmness, and elasticity, which I personally think is super essential for midlife skin.

A Quick Note About Retinol

If you've noticed that retinol, retinal, or bakuchiol are missing from this list, that's not because I think they're ineffective. In fact, retinoids remain some of the most studied ingredients in skincare and are often recommended for fine lines, uneven skin tone, and collagen support.

The reason they're not on my personal watchlist is much simpler: the idea of introducing a retinol product and potentially going through a "retinisation" phase has never appealed to me. Well, perhaps that's my lazy skincare side talking. 😄

For now, I'm more drawn to ingredients that fit easily into my routine and support my skin without the need to monitor for reaction. The same applies to stronger exfoliating acids and other intensive actives. My skin seems to respond better to consistency and support than frequent experimentation.

For now, though, I'm perfectly happy focusing on hydration, barrier health, pigmentation support, and ingredients that help my skin feel comfortable and resilient.

The New Generation of Korean Skincare Ingredients

What I find interesting is that many of these newer ingredients have less to do with exfoliation and correction and more to do with repair, regeneration, and skin longevity. Whether they ultimately live up to the hype remains to be seen, but they offer a fascinating glimpse into where the skincare industry appears to be heading.

#1: PDRN (Repair & Regeneration)

Originally associated with regenerative medicine and popularised through treatments like Rejuran, PDRN is now appearing in creams, serums, masks, and ampoules. While topical PDRN products may not replicate the effects of injectable treatments, I find the concept fascinating. Skincare is now evolving towards supporting skin repair and regeneration rather than simply exfoliating or brightening.

#2: EGF (Repair & Regeneration)

EGF (Epidermal Growth Factor) is naturally involved in skin repair and regeneration. While EGF is not a new ingredient, it has become increasingly relevant as skincare trends move towards longevity, recovery, and skin resilience. The idea of supporting the skin's natural renewal processes rather than constantly trying to "fix" it feels aligned with where skincare appears to be heading.

#3: NAD+ & NMN (Longevity)

Of all the emerging skincare ingredients, NAD+ and NMN may be the most futuristic. The science is certainly intriguing. They're closely linked to longevity research and cellular energy, and many Korean skincare brands are beginning to incorporate them into serums and creams.

#4: Ectoin (Resilience)

Ectoin is often described as a stress-protection molecule that helps skin defend itself against environmental stressors such as pollution, UV exposure, temperature fluctuations, and dehydration. As someone whose skin has become more reactive and unpredictable with age, barrier-supporting ingredients are becoming increasingly appealing.

#5: Exosomes (Cellular Repair)

Exosomes are generating significant excitement within the skincare industry. They are often discussed as communication molecules that help cells send repair signals to one another. The science is intriguing, but I also think this is an area where it's worth maintaining healthy scepticism until more evidence becomes available. For now, exosomes remain firmly in my "interesting but still researching" category.

#6: Spicules (Microneedle-Like Effect)

Spicules are another trend gaining popularity in Korean skincare. Derived from marine sponges, these microscopic structures create a sensation similar to very mild microneedling and are designed to enhance ingredient absorption. However, as someone whose skin seems to appreciate gentleness more with each passing year, I might not want to try this ingredient.

Conclusion

It really looks like skincare trends will continue to evolve; new ingredients will emerge; and new technologies will be marketed as revolutionary. And I will probably continue reading about them because I genuinely enjoy learning.

At the end of the day, my goal is healthy, resilient skin that can tolerate weather, hormones, stress, ageing, and life. And if it happens to come with a few wrinkles, some pigmentation, and the occasional hormonal breakout along the way, I think I'm okay with that.

While I enjoy falling down skincare ingredient rabbit holes, my actual routine is surprisingly simple. If you're curious about the products I currently use, you can read more about my midlife skincare routine here.

Next up, I'll be sharing my latest sunscreen favourites in a follow-up post.

Disclaimer

This article is based on my personal experiences, observations, and research as a skincare enthusiast navigating midlife skin.

The information shared here is intended for general educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered professional advice. Skincare needs can vary significantly from person to person depending on skin type, medical history, underlying conditions, and individual sensitivities.

If you have specific skin concerns, persistent skin conditions, or are considering professional treatments, please consult a dermatologist or aesthetic specialist for personalised advice and recommendations.

I'm not a dermatologist, aesthetic doctor, or skincare professional. I'm simply a curious lifelong learner who enjoys reading about skincare and occasionally falling down ingredient rabbit holes. 😄

References

9 Ingredients in Korean Skincare That May Help Reduce Visible Signs of Aging

The Biggest Skincare Trends of 2026 Have Us Going Back to Basics

7 K-Beauty Trends Shaping 2026

Korean skincare 2026 – The trends & routines we believe in

From PDRN to Peptides, These 10 K-Beauty Ingredients Are Defining 2026 Skincare

Surprisingly Simple Midlife Skincare Routine That Works for Me

2026-06-03T00:13:34.621+08:00

My Simple & Mature Skin-Friendly Skincare Routine That Works

I have a confession. I don't follow a strict skincare routine. I don't use serum every day, and I definitely don't stick to a fixed number of steps.

And yet… my skin has been behaving better than it has in a long time.

Somewhere along the way, I realised my skin in midlife prefers simplicity over costly procedures or products. So this is my honest and admittedly somewhat lazy skincare routine and why it somehow works.

What Is a "Lazy" Skincare Routine?

In my argument, a "lazy" skincare routine doesn't mean neglecting your skin. It simply means:

1) focusing on a few essential steps

2) skipping unnecessary layers

3) choosing products that do more than one job

4) making skincare sustainable enough to maintain long-term.

At this point, skincare is more about keeping my skin comfortable, stable, and healthy-looking without exhausting myself in the process. Especially because midlife skin behaves differently because what worked in my 30s no longer works the same way now.

My Simple Morning Skincare Routine (AM)

Let me not pretend I'm extremely disciplined. On most mornings, I keep things minimal.

From left to right:

1) Cleanser: AXIS-Y Quinoa One Step Balanced Gel Cleanser

2) Toner: Pyunkang Yul Ultimate Calming Solution Toner

3) Moisturiser: Rejuran Turnover Cream Enhanced

4) Barrier cream: Centellian24 Madeca Cream Time Reverse

5) Sunscreen: BIOHEAL BOH Probioderm Collagen Tone-Up Sun Cream

On a side note, I want to mention that I really love Korean sunscreens. I've been testing quite a few lately (I clearly have a soft spot for Korean sunscreens 😄), which I'll share in a separate post.

In the meantime, you can check out some of the sunscreens I've used and recommended over the past years here and here.

Before heading out to work, I also use cushion foundation with SPF (this acts as the foundation for my light makeup look).

Only recently did I realise this probably explains why my pigmentation has remained relatively manageable over the years. I learnt that the combination of broad-spectrum sunscreen (this links to my collection of blog posts about sunscreen) followed by SPF foundation on top unintentionally created an extra layer of daily sun protection.

This simple skincare routine works because it focuses on the two things my skin consistently needs, i.e., hydration and barrier protection without overwhelming my skin with too many steps.

My Night Skincare Routine (PM)

At night, I don't follow a fixed routine. I rotate products depending on how my skin feels that day.

Some nights my skin may feel dry or tired. Some nights it feels perfectly fine and just needs moisturiser. So instead of forcing a rigid multi-step routine every single night, I adjust accordingly.

From left to right:

1) Oil cleanser for double cleansing: K-Secret Seoul 1988 Cleansing Oil: Pine Cica 1% + Probiotics

2) Second cleanser: K-Secret Seoul 1988 Cleansing Foam: Pine Cica 1% + Probiotics

3) Toner: Eqqualberry Swimming Pool Daily Facial Toner

4) Moisturiser / barrier cream: Rejuran Turnover Active Cream

I realised my skin responds better to consistency in the basics rather than aggressive over-treatment.

Other Products I Use (When I Feel Like It)

I do use other products, but not daily.

From left to right:

1) Overnight mask: Sulwhasoo Overnight Vitalising Mask

2) Face mist/spray serum: d'Alba Piedmont White Truffle First Spray Serum

3) Eye cream: Sulwhasoo Concentrated Ginseng Rejuvenating Eye Cream

4) Serum: Sulwhasoo Concentrated Ginseng Rejuvenating Serum

5) Additional cream: K-Secret Seoul 1988 Capsule Cream (Niacinamide 5% + Yuja) – gentle to help with dullness and mild pigmentation without jumping straight into stronger actives. The combination of niacinamide and yuja makes it feel like a nice middle ground between skincare maintenance and brightening care.

For products 1) to 5) above, I treat them as one of those products I reach for when my skin looks meh, tired, uneven, or like it needs a little extra encouragement. This probably sums up my entire skincare philosophy these days: simple, flexible, and sustainable.

This flexibility probably helps my skin more because my skin barrier stays calmer when it isn't overloaded with too many active ingredients all the time.

Why This Routine Works Better for My Midlife Skin

After trying more structured routines in the past, I realised my skin prefers simplicity.

Here's why this approach works and what I realised:

1. Fewer products reduce irritation.

The more products I pile onto my skin, the more unpredictable it becomes. Keeping things simple actually helps keep my skin barrier stable.

2. A good moisturiser does most of the heavy lifting.

A good barrier-repair cream helps maintain hydration, reduce sensitivity, support skin recovery, and keep my skin feeling comfortable. So instead of constantly adding more products, I mostly focus on maintaining skin stability.

3. Consistent sun protection matters more than aggressive correction.

I used to think skincare was mostly about fixing problems. Now I think prevention matters more. Using sunscreen daily has probably done more for my skin long-term than expensive routines.

4. Sustainable skincare is more realistic than perfection.

I believe in midlife, skincare routines need to be realistic enough to maintain consistently. Exhausting yourself trying to maintain a perfect routine every night is probably not very sustainable.

The Only Skincare Steps I Consistently Prioritise

If there are only two skincare steps I truly try not to skip, it's these: moisturiser at night and sunscreen in the morning. Everything else can be flexible, and strangely enough, my skin seems happier this way.

Our Skin Does Not Need to Look Filtered to Be Healthy

I recently came across a TED Talk by Jen Gunter, "5 Skin Health Myths to Stop Believing Now", where she reminded viewers that skin is actually the largest organ in the human body. That perspective genuinely shifted how I view my skin.

Real organs are not supposed to look permanently poreless, glassy, airbrushed, and flawless all the time. In this sense, poreless and zero wrinkles are unrealistic.

At this stage of life, having healthy skin that does its job well, feels comfortable, is hydrated, is resilient, and can tolerate weather, stress, hormones, ageing, and life is more realistic and sustainable than chasing perfection.

Final Thoughts

So my skin isn't perfect, my skincare routine isn't perfect, and it definitely isn't Instagram-worthy. But it works for me, and maybe that's the point.

If your current skincare routine feels overwhelming, exhausting, or impossible to maintain consistently, it might actually help to simplify it. Especially in midlife, doing less (but doing it well consistently) is what your skin actually needs. It just needs to be right for you, most of the time.

Anyway, of course, no skincare rabbit hole is ever truly complete. 😄 In follow-up posts, I'm sharing the skincare ingredients I keep coming back to, as well as some of the newer Korean skincare ingredient trends that have caught my attention, and of course, my latest haul of Korean sunscreens. Stay tuned! 😍

Disclaimer

I'm not a dermatologist, aesthetic doctor, or skincare professional. This article is based on my personal experiences, observations, and research as a skincare enthusiast navigating midlife skin.

If you have specific skin concerns, persistent skin conditions, or are considering professional treatments, I encourage you to consult a qualified dermatologist or aesthetic doctor for personalised advice and recommendations.

I'm simply a curious lifelong learner who enjoys reading about skincare and occasionally falling down skincare rabbit holes. 😄

What AI Thinks My Personality Is (After Two Years of Conversations)

2026-05-27T18:50:49.920+08:00

Note: This post began when I jumped on a recent trend and asked my ChatGPT AI assistant to turn me into a sketchbook character. The illustration was generated by ChatGPT. The self-reflection, however, is entirely mine.

The Prompt

(Upload a picture of yourself)

Please draw the character in the image, "<your name>", in a free and stripped sketch style. On a bright white background, freely distribute full-body drawings, face close-ups, small scribbles, full-body sketches and chibi/deformed versions so that the page conveys the character's humour and personality. Don't do it like an organised character sheet, but like a sketchbook full of information drawn at will by an illustrator and then stacked. Use everything ChatGPT knows about me from our conversations, including my personality, habits, strengths, quirks, profession, and overall vibe, to imagine how an illustrator would interpret me as a character.

The Character AI Thought I Was

The sketch included notes such as:

- Systems thinker who happens to care deeply about people 🤔
- Curious under pressure (definitely not calm all the time) 🧐
- Can turn a simple question into a three-hour research project 🤯
- Little patience for nonsense 😤
- Gets irritated by avoidable inefficiency (workflows, people, systems) 😠
- I may overthink, but I also over-deliver 🤩

ChatGPT didn't pull these observations from a personality quiz. It synthesised them from hundreds of conversations so far, including every random question from me that began with, "I have a question..." Apparently, my AI assistant had been observing and taking notes.

The Parts That ChatGPT Got Inaccurate

Before the version above was finalised, the initial generation wasn't entirely accurate.

The first inaccuracy was that ChatGPT drew me as noticeably slimmer than I actually am. Apparently, even AI is biased: apparently a professional working woman should look tall, lean, and elegant. 🙄 For the record, I'm neither tall nor lean.

Next, ChatGPT described me as "calm under pressure". That made me laugh. Well, I'm not naturally calm.

Ask anyone who has witnessed me dealing with unnecessary bureaucracy, inefficient people, or a process that requires seventeen approvals for something that should take five minutes.

The more accurate description was something we eventually revised together: Curious under pressure. This one felt right.

The Tiny Detail That Felt Most Accurate

Oddly enough, the line that felt most true was this: "I may overthink, but I also over-deliver."

Sometimes I do worry if I ask too many questions or if I analyse things too deeply. Sometimes I disappear down too many rabbit holes. But I guess perhaps that tendency isn't entirely a flaw.

Perhaps it is simply how my brain works: I explore, connect dots, form ideas, and eventually I build something useful from them.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I can now see the core reason behind all my thinking and questions. The older I get, the more convinced I become that systems matter because people matter.

For example, better healthcare systems help patients; better communication helps people understand; better education helps people grow; better technology helps people solve problems.

The systems have always been interesting, but the people have always been the point.

After analysing years of conversations, my AI assistant concluded that I'm a curious person trying to understand how the world works and how things can work better. Honestly, that's a character description I'm quite happy to keep.

My Creative Type (Updated) from Adobe Create Quiz

2026-05-25T14:11:54.387+08:00

When I took Adobe's Creative Types quiz in 2022 to discover the power of my creative strengths, my result was The Dreamer.

The Regenerator

This time, I took the same quiz again, and the result was The Regenerator.

Based on the description, my sharp and analytical mind is constantly at work, investigating the world and methodically solving problems. I tend to apply new ways of thinking to old challenges, evolving them from within rather than discarding them entirely.

Setbacks are seen as opportunities for reinvention. Apparently, I like breaking things down, understanding their essential parts, and reassembling them into something stronger. I also bring a sense of resilience and adaptability to every challenge I face.

My creativity is rooted in keen observation. A deep care for the world inspires me to look closely at ideas, systems, and structures to find ways to improve and adapt them. When limitations present themselves, I reinvent. Dismantling and deconstruction become necessary parts of the creative process.

I'm not particularly drawn to flashy disruption or abstract ideals. Instead, I believe in thoughtful restoration and repair. I understand that outdated ways of thinking have contributed to problems, and I'm willing to rebuild from the inside out. I focus on structural integrity and long-term impact.

I also tend to work best in solitude, with ample time for deep focus and reflection.

Zone of genius: Adaptive problem-solving

Deepest aspiration: Overcoming challenges

Growth opportunity: Staying positive and motivated

Creative partner: The Luminary

The full description of "The Regenerator" can be found here.

You can also take Adobe's "Creative Types" quiz if you're curious to discover your own creative strengths.

Why My Dreams Became Medical Dramas

2026-05-24T22:49:02.585+08:00

Note: This blog post is written after recounting a series of vivid hospital-themed dreams that stayed with me long after waking up. My AI assistant later helped me explore the strange intersection between healthcare, identity, midlife transitions, and the subconscious. What emerged was unexpectedly thoughtful.

The Strange Psychology of Dreaming About Hospitals

Recently, I had two unusually vivid dreams.

In one dream, I saw my own obituary, except the face on the obituary wasn't mine. Somehow, I was supposed to have died as a terminal patient, but I had apparently "skipped" the obituary and was still alive, travelling, and moving through life.

At one point, I saw a hospital administration placard that mentioned a patient code being recalled because the patient was "no longer in danger". Then someone casually asked me how I was coping because I had "coded twice".

A few weeks later, I had another vivid hospital-related dream. This time, what began as a period somehow became a miscarriage (blood everywhere)! I was in a hospital again, while a specialist looked visibly perplexed, trying to figure out what was wrong.

I now think somewhere between these two dreams, my subconscious has fully absorbed the healthcare ecosystem.

When Your Subconscious Starts Speaking in Medical Language

I have spent years orbiting around healthcare environments, not as a clinician but close enough to absorb their rhythms, language, systems, and emotional atmosphere.

Think hospital corridors, medical terminology, patient journeys, specialist consultations, disease awareness campaigns, and conversations about survival, prevention, treatment, uncertainty, and recovery.

Over time, healthcare stopped feeling like merely an industry I worked around. It became one of the ecosystems through which I understand human life itself.

And perhaps that is why my subconscious now processes emotional transition using hospital logic. This truly feels deeply symbolic and hilariously bureaucratic. LOL.

The Hospital as a Psychological Space

The more I reflected on these dreams, the more I realised hospitals carry symbolic meaning far beyond illness.

Hospitals are transitional spaces. People enter them suspended between "before" and "after". Between uncertainty and diagnosis, sickness and recovery, fear and relief.

Perhaps that is why hospitals appear so frequently in emotionally significant dreams. It's not necessarily because we are afraid of death but because hospitals represent moments where human beings are forced to confront vulnerability and survival beyond our control.

And maybe that is also why neither of my dreams actually felt frightening. Both dreams ended with continuity, i.e., the patient survived, the code was recalled; life continued, and people were checking if I was okay.

So, my dreams were not about endings. They were about recovery.

Midlife Changes the Way You Think About the Body

Perhaps midlife changes the symbolic role the body plays in our subconscious.

As younger adults, many of us unconsciously assume the body will simply cooperate forever.

Then one day, as you age, you start to notice the hormonal shifts, fatigue, the need for health screenings, preventive healthcare, specialists' consultations, and the growing awareness that health is not guaranteed.

Perhaps my dreams are simply reflecting that transition and a growing awareness of the body as something that requires care, interpretation, maintenance, and attention.

Maybe This Is Also What Healing Looks Like

What fascinated me most was not the medical imagery itself, but the emotional tone.

In the dreams, I was calm and almost nostalgic, as though my subconscious was not warning me about something but quietly processing a difficult season I had already survived.

I still do not know exactly what these dreams "mean". Maybe dreams are less prophetic than reflective. Or maybe they simply borrow the emotional vocabulary of the worlds we spend the most time inhabiting.

And perhaps after years spent around hospitals, specialists, patient stories, disease education, and healthcare systems, my subconscious has decided this is now the language it understands best.

Which honestly explains a lot. 😭

Maybe I Was Never Watching Crime Dramas

2026-05-21T17:40:53.843+08:00

Note: This post started with me realising that almost all my favourite shows involve traumatised people investigating murders under permanently grey skies. My AI assistant later helped me unpack the psychological patterns behind that oddly specific preference. It's slightly alarming but deeply accurate, though.

Recently, I looked at my Netflix streaming history and realised something mildly concerning about myself. Haha.

Apparently, my idea of "relaxing entertainment" involves emotionally damaged people investigating murders in foggy forests while carrying unresolved childhood trauma. Lol.

As I browsed through the list of TV series genres I enjoy, I realised that I tend to gravitate towards storylines that include some combination of the following:

- psychologically exhausted detectives

- emotionally restrained women

- brilliant but difficult personalities

- haunted families

- isolated towns

- grief disguised as supernatural horror

- intellectually sharp people quietly falling apart

The Shows That Made Me Realise This

The pattern became obvious when I looked at the titles I genuinely loved and remembered amongst the numerous series that I have watched for the past years:

Bones (currently watching)

The Mire (currently watching)

The Graveyard (waiting for Season 3)

The Chestnut Man

The Haunting of Bly Manor

The Haunting of Hill House

The Invisible Guardian

The Legacy of the Bones

Offering to the Storm

Cracow Monsters

House

Well, these titles seem unrelated because some are supernatural horror; some are crime thrillers; some are medical dramas; and some are dark folklore stories. However, emotionally speaking, they all belong to the same universe.

I Realised I'm Drawn to "Wounded Competence"

Almost every protagonist in these stories shares the same emotional structure.

They are usually intelligent, functional, and capable, but they are also deeply unhealed. Many of them appear highly composed, but underneath that competence is grief, loneliness, guilt, emotional isolation, trauma, or some form of unresolved pain that quietly shapes how they move through the world.

I think that is what keeps me watching. Not the murder mystery itself or the plot twists. It is the emotional tension of watching people continue functioning while carrying invisible weight.

The memorable series are those that refuse to simplify human pain. There are no neat emotional resolutions in these series. Trauma is rarely "fixed". Grief does not disappear after one breakthrough conversation. Relationships remain complicated. People make contradictory decisions. Healing is uneven and incomplete.

That feels more emotionally honest to me now than stories where everything becomes meaningful and resolved by the finale.

The Atmosphere Matters More Than the Plot

Another thing I noticed is that I care deeply about emotional atmosphere. The setting itself often feels like a character: cold forests, rainy towns, dim apartments, decaying family homes, muted lighting, and silence that feels emotionally loaded.

A lot of European storytelling especially seems willing to sit in discomfort without rushing to explain everything. There is less emotional spoon-feeding and less urgency to make viewers feel reassured.

And oddly enough, I find that comforting.

Even the Horror Series Are Really About Grief

This became especially obvious with The Haunting of Hill House and The Haunting of Bly Manor. Technically, these two are horror series. But the real horror is never the ghosts.

It is grief, memory, guilt, love, loss, emotional inheritance, and family wounds that follow people into adulthood. The supernatural simply gives emotional pain a physical form.

That is probably why these stories stay with me longer than conventional horror.

Even My K-Drama Choices Are Emotionally About Grief Too

The pattern became even clearer when I looked at the K-dramas I tend to gravitate towards. Yeah, you guessed it right; I don't watch rom-coms. I really don't like 'lovey-dovey-happily-ever-after' stories.

Even when the stories involve monsters, spirits, the afterlife, or supernatural worlds, the emotional core is rarely horror itself.

Instead, many of these series revolve around unresolved pain, regret, memory, emotional liminality, people unable to move on, and grief that quietly follows people through life.

Tomorrow explores despair, emotional rescue, and the invisible struggles people carry before reaching breaking point.

Missing: The Other Side centres around forgotten dead people whose stories remain unfinished, turning grief into something almost physical.

Even Gyeongseong Creature uses monsters and horror to explore survival, fear, cruelty, and what happens to humanity under extreme suffering.

At this point, I had to admit something to myself: apparently even my supernatural dramas are still emotionally about grief.

Apparently I Also Like Emotionally Difficult Geniuses

This explains my attachment to House and Bones. Both series revolve around brilliant people trying to intellectualise emotions they cannot fully process.

One hides behind logic, the other behind cynicism. Both are emotionally awkward in completely different ways. And somehow, that feels more believable than perfectly adjusted television characters with healthy communication skills and excellent emotional regulation.

Maybe I Was Never Watching Crime Dramas

Maybe I was watching stories about emotional survival. Stories about people trying to continue functioning despite grief, trauma, loneliness, obsession, guilt, or emotional exhaustion.

Not because they are heroes. But because life keeps moving whether people are emotionally ready or not.

And perhaps that is why these stories resonate more deeply with me now than simpler narratives ever could.

Not because they are dark. But because they acknowledge something quietly true:

Human beings are complicated, healing is uneven, and some people carry enormous emotional weight without ever making a spectacle of it.

Apparently You Can Floss Religiously and STILL End Up at the Dentist 😭

2026-05-17T00:10:44.560+08:00

I Need to Defend Myself First

I need to clear something up first. I'm not one of those people who only floss right before dental appointments.

I actually brush and floss twice a day religiously and consistently: in the morning and at night, with the kind of commitment, discipline, and optimism of someone who thought she was doing reasonably okay. 😄

And yet… I ended up at the dentist this week because I've been having gum pain on the lower right side of my jaw for about one week.

So I finally went to see Dr Priyanka at Pantai Hospital Kuala Lumpur. She took one look and basically confirmed, "Yes, the gum is infected."

And there was even pus coming out from one side.

Alamak. This is exactly the kind of sentence you want to hear while lying under bright dental lights. 😭

The Annoying Reality of Teeth Crowding and Periodontitis

For context, I already knew I have periodontitis (gum disease). I also have teeth crowding, which means certain areas are harder to clean no matter how disciplined you are.

So despite regular brushing and flossing, bacteria can still accumulate deep around crowded areas and gum pockets.

Adult life is really humbling sometimes. And yes, dental treatments are usually excluded from insurance claims, which makes the whole experience even more annoying.

Oral health maintenance is one of those things that quietly becomes expensive over time. I've actually written before about my frustrations with how costly healthcare is becoming; you can read more about it in this blog post.

Okay, back to periodontitis. Look, periodontitis is not one of those "buy better toothbrushes and toothpastes, and magically everything disappears" situations.

It's more of an ongoing management thing, which could include damage control, you know, trying to keep bad oral bacteria from turning your gums into a war zone.

After cleaning the infected gum, Dr Priyanka also sent me to the imaging department to do an OPG (orthopantomogram) x-ray so that she could evaluate the condition beneath the gums and around the bone support more thoroughly.

So at the next appointment, the treatment plan for my periodontitis will be based on what she sees from the X-ray findings, which honestly makes me feel both reassured… and slightly nervous. 😭

Apparently my adulthood is just going from "Yay, no cavities" to "Let's evaluate the bone support around your teeth for a no-extraction plan."

Character development indeed. 😄

I Came Home with Antibiotics and Oral Probiotics

After the X-ray, I came home with antibiotics to clear the infection and BioGaia Prodentis Lozenges.

Now THIS caught my attention. Because I've always associated probiotics with gut health. You know… yoghurt drinks and digestive health commercials.

But oral probiotics?

So today I learnt that our mouth has its own microbiome too, which means our mouth is basically an entire ecosystem – a tiny bacterial civilisation with good residents and problematic residents.

The oral probiotic lozenges are meant to support healthier bacterial balance in the mouth. The strain inside this one is Lactobacillus reuteri, which has been studied in relation to gum health and oral inflammation.

So now every morning for the next five days, I will be taking the antibiotics. Then, every night for the next 30 days, I will be taking one lozenge in my mouth while reflecting on how adulthood slowly turns all of us into people with highly specific wellness routines. 😄

Did You Know That Oral Health Would Become This Technical?

Honestly, if you told my younger self that one day I would care deeply about:

- gum pockets

- gum infection

- oral microbiome balance

- probiotic strains

…I would not have believed you.

The funny thing is: when people talk about health maintenance, we usually think about exercise, skincare, hormones, supplements, sleep…

But oral health quietly sits there like, "Excuse me. I, too, can become expensive if ignored."

And to be fair to me, I wasn't completely ignoring it. That's the frustrating part.

Fun Facts I Learnt From This Dental Episode

- Sometimes even when you are trying your best, chronic conditions still need ongoing maintenance, especially something like periodontitis.

- Teeth crowding (which can be genetic, thank you very much) can make cleaning difficult even with good habits of consistent brushing and flossing.

- Gum infections can still happen despite consistent oral care.

- Oral probiotics are apparently a real thing now.

And perhaps most importantly:

Adulting is just progressively collecting more specialised healthcare products over time. 😄

Tiny Things That Made Up My Mother’s Day 2026

2026-05-14T15:07:23.143+08:00

A Single Carnation Wrapped Like a Tiny Present

Here's my series of small things across the day that somehow came together and quietly became Mother's Day 2026.

I'm beginning to appreciate these kinds of celebrations more as I grow older – soft, sporadic moments that make me pause and think, "This is nice. I want to remember this."

The first thing that marked the days to be remembered as Mother's Day was this simple white carnation. Just one flower wrapped carefully with a ribbon, given free by a restaurant where we went for dinner after Mother's Day Mass..

There is something about single flowers that feels very gentle to me now. Maybe age changes the way we see things. Maybe midlife softens you in unexpected ways.

At this point in life, I think I value thoughtfulness more than grandness.

Apparently Russian Desserts Are Part of My Personality Now

I genuinely did not expect "Russian desserts" to become a 'category' for Mother's Day 2026, but here we are!

The Raspberry Pistachio Medovik (Russian layered honey cake) was rich without being overwhelming, layered with cream and raspberry sauce/jam that somehow tasted both indulgent and comforting.

The Oreshki are one-bite walnut-shaped cookies filled with dulce de leche goodness – the kind of dessert that feels old-world in the best possible way.

I think part of growing older is allowing yourself to enjoy oddly specific things without needing to explain them to anyone.

You know, just a simple "Yes, let's have Russian honey cake on Mother’s Day."

By the way, you can get these Russian desserts at Torte by Linda at Bandar Kinrara 5A, Puchong.

Someone Took the Effort to Make a Heart-Shaped Egg

Honestly, this may be one of my favourite photos! Because a heart-shaped egg is such a tiny, unnecessary detail, which is exactly why it feels meaningful.

It was Mother's Day eve, and the chef at Buttermilk Daddy Cafe intentionally shaped an egg into a heart simply because they wanted the meal to feel a little happier, I guess.

And somehow it is these tiny things that stay with you longer than grand gestures do.

Tanghulu and Midlife Contradictions

At this stage of life, my reality is basically this: Taking magnesium glycinate for better sleep at night while deciding to eat sugar-coated (hello inflammation!) dessert the next day. Haha.

The tanghulu looked ridiculously pretty lined up together: grapes, hawthorns, yoghurt-filled strawberries, mandarins, and blueberries. All with glossy sugar shells catching the light.

Anyway, I think adulthood can become so heavy sometimes that small playful things start feeling important again.

In fact, sometimes shiny sugar-coated fruits on sticks are enough.

Coffee and Cake Might Be One of My Love Languages

There was also coffee. And cake. A delightful combination that has followed me through: work stress, deadlines, motherhood, burnout, healing phases, existential crises. LOL!

At this point, coffee shops feel less like "trendy places" and more like tiny pause buttons in life.

These days, I'm learning that moments of rest with coffee and cake are probably what keep us human in the first place.

Mother's Day Mass Cake Offertory

This year, I had the opportunity to sponsor a cake for the offertory during Mother's Day mass.

What I remembered most, though, was not the cake itself. It was the sudden transition from the calmness and orderliness of mass... to the slightly chaotic cake distribution session afterwards.

The delicious cake with soft buttercream started melting quite quickly, so serving the cake became slightly chaotic.

At one point, the first layer of the cake literally slid off the second layer, resulting in buttercream messiness everywhere. Naturally, serving time became much slower while the queue behind kept getting longer and longer...

It was one of those unintentionally funny moments where everyone was trying their best to stay calm while I was quietly panicking over a collapsing cake. At least I think that's what happened. Haha!

I guess that's also what I like about church events sometimes. Beneath all the formalities, there is still warmth, familiarity, and people simply enjoying small moments together.

And somehow, celebrating Mother's Day with sloppy cake after mass felt very wholesome in a simple way.

Maybe This Is What I Appreciate More Nowadays

A single carnation.
Russian desserts.
A heart-shaped egg.
Tanghulu.
Coffee and cake.
Church cake after mass.

Nothing particularly grand. But all together, they somehow made the days feel memorable in a very "real life" kind of way.

And maybe that is what I want to remember about Mother's Day 2026 after all.

Why I Finally Feel Better (And My Brain Is No Longer in the Longkang 😄)

2026-05-02T15:08:00.009+08:00

What Changed?

In my previous post, I shared how speaking with a menopause specialist helped me make sense of what I was experiencing.

It has been six weeks since that consultation session. I realise I have been feeling better: my sleep has improved, my mind feels clearer, and most noticeably, the "brain in the longkang" feeling that I experienced before is no longer so obvious.

It came from a few things working together (as prescribed by my menopause specialist doctor).

1) Supporting hormonal balance (Oestrogel* gel in the morning daily)

2) Improving sleep quality (200 mg magnesium glycinate every night)

3) Correcting underlying deficiencies (25,000 IU vitamin D3 once a week)

*Note: I already have a Mirena IUD (which provides a progesterone-like hormone (levonorgestrel)) to protect my uterine lining, so additional oral progesterone is not required.

Why Sleep Made Such a Big Difference

When my doctor said that my improvement was likely due to better sleep, it made sense. When sleep improves, other areas tend to improve as well. My thinking becomes clearer, my mood becomes more stable, my energy levels improve, and my cravings for sweet things reduce.

Sleep allows the body to recover and function more efficiently.

A More Stable Version of Me

What I am experiencing now does not feel like a temporary boost. It feels like a return to a more stable state. I feel less foggy, less reactive, and more consistent throughout the day.

What I'm Focusing on Next

Following my recent consultation at the 6th-week mark, I now have a clearer idea of what else to work on next on top of the treatment modalities mentioned above.

These are not drastic changes, but practical adjustments that I can build into my daily routine over time.

First, I'm working on adjusting my sleep schedule. The goal is to be asleep before 11:30 pm so that I can wake up around 8:00 am more consistently. Since better sleep has already made a noticeable difference, maintaining a regular sleep rhythm is a priority.

Second, I'm starting to build a morning exercise habit. The focus is not intensity, but consistency. Even a short session in the morning is enough to begin with. The aim is to make movement a regular part of my routine before work.

Third, I'll be scheduling a blood test (at the 16th week) to review my vitamin D3 levels (last I checked, I was in the deficiency band) and check my thyroid function. This is to ensure that there are no other underlying factors affecting my energy, mood, or overall well-being.

These steps feel manageable and realistic. More importantly, they feel aligned with where I am right now.

A Work in Progress

I may not have everything figured out. However, I am learning that this stage of life is not about doing more or pushing harder. It is about understanding my body better and responding in a more intentional way.

I will see how these changes work over the next few weeks and share an update.

My #PerimenopauseAndMenopause Series

If you're new to this series, here's what you can find out more:

Part 1: I Haven't Quite Felt Like Myself

Part 2: Breaking Down or Waking Up

Part 3: When Burnout Isn't Burnout

Part 4: A Visit That Made Me Feel Seen and Understood

I Retook the Sorting Hat Quiz. Now I'm a Ravenpuff.

2026-04-24T15:03:00.001+08:00

I took the Harry Potter sorting hat quiz in 2024 and got Hufflepuff as my core, which felt about right at the time. Loyal, steady, generally trying to be a decent human being who doesn't make life harder for others.

Then I retook it this year (2026).

And somehow… I'm Ravenclaw now.

For the record (because of course I tracked it), across THREE quizzes, the pattern was… consistent:

Ravenclaw: Clearly dominant

Hufflepuff: Still present

Gryffindor & Slytherin: There, but not running the show

Which, honestly, feels accurate.

So yes, I'm "owning the bird"!

So, I'm a Ravenclaw now.

The bird. The thinking.

The quiet need to understand how things work before I agree with them.

No, I'm not suddenly quoting obscure facts for fun. But, I will:

- mentally reorganise your sentence structure

- question your logic (silently, most of the time)

- and try to find a cleaner way to say something

It's just how my brain works now.

What might really be happening

(using the biological lens)

Perimenopause isn't just physical; it often comes with subtle cognitive and emotional shifts:

- Lower tolerance for nonsense

- Clearer prioritisation (what matters vs what doesn't)

- Less people-pleasing, more self-trust

- More reflective thinking (pattern-seeing, connecting dots)

This combination does look a lot like Ravenclaw traits emerging more strongly.

Apparently there's also a name for this combination: Ravenpuff

A thinking-first, people-aware hybrid.

I once came across a line that described it quite well:

"A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination."

I wish Ravenpuff sounded as cool as that sentence, but I'll take it.

As a Ravenpuff...

I have significantly less patience for things that don't quite make sense.

- Less tolerance for overcomplication

- Less interest in explaining myself five different ways just to soften the message

- More trust in my own judgement

I did have a moment where I thought, "Am I becoming too self-centred?"

But no. I think I've just upgraded from:

“let me adjust for everyone”

“let me make sure this actually makes sense first.”

It's not a dramatic change. Just… a clearer one.

Final thoughts (nothing too deep, I promise)

Maybe nothing really changed.

Maybe this part of me was always there, just quieter before.

Or maybe this is just what happens when you start trusting how you think a little more, and stop second-guessing it.

Either way, I guess I'm a Ravenpuff hybrid now.

And honestly?

It fits.

A Trip That Meant More Than It Looked: Notes from Macau

2026-04-16T00:44:00.007+08:00

A Quiet Milestone

This was our first overseas family trip with my in-laws. Not because they have never travelled. In fact, they have travelled far more than my husband and I ever have.

But this time, it was different. This time, hubby and I were the ones bringing them along. There was this quiet, unspoken acknowledgement that we have reached a new stage in life, like a small rite of passage.

A Trip That Became a Mini Pilgrimage

One lovely memory from this trip was how it quietly turned into a mini pilgrimage.

We found ourselves stepping into church after church: Our Lady of Carmel Church in Taipa, St. Dominic's Church, St. Lazarus' Church, Cathedral of the Nativity of Our Lady (Macau Cathedral), and The Chapel of St. Michael.

We celebrated Palm Sunday at St. Lazarus' Church on a Sunday morning. It was beautiful. There's something about being away from home, yet participating in something so familiar: the same rhythm, the same sense of reverence. It reminded me God remains constant, no matter where we are.

At one point, on our way to the Ruins of St. Paul, we wandered into St. Paul's Bookstore, run by The Daughters of St. Paul. We ended up spending more time there than expected, browsing and choosing little Catholic items like pins, crosses, rosaries, etc., each of us drawn to something in our own quiet way.

As I was writing this blog post, I stumbled upon this piece of news: Macau nuns use travel stamps to evangelise tourists.

The Portuguese Egg Tart Moment

Somewhere in between, there was a Portuguese egg tart. Just one from a shop near the Ruins of St. Paul's, eaten while being surrounded by people, noise, and movement.

And so, I just have to take this photo to immortalise the moment. Haha.

And Then… Pink Lights!

And then, there was a completely different kind of joy!

Standing there, watching The Parisian Macao light up in pink, synced to BLACKPINK's GO... I didn't expect to feel that excited!

It was loud and vibrant, completely opposite of the quiet churches we had been visiting.

Almost Sakura

And then, of course, there was my "almost sakura" moment.

According to the QR code beside the tree, it was Zhongguohong (Cerasus campanulata), also known as China Red, a type of cherry blossom found in Southern China that blooms between January and March.

Sometimes, close enough is enough.

The Small Things I Keep Collecting

Somewhere along the way, I found myself doing something familiar: collecting souvenir stamps.

Not the official kind you frame, but the simple landmark stamps, the kind you press onto paper just to say "I was here!"

It reminded me of Taipei, where I first started this little habit. There's something quietly satisfying about it. A small, tangible way of holding onto moments that would otherwise pass too quickly.

The Stairs...

Also, a small note for anyone romanticising heritage walks, but Macau comes with… a lot of stairs. The kind that immediately brought back memories of my trip to South Korea.

The kind that quietly humbles you while you're trying to look like you have your life together. Hahaha.

What Stayed With Me

Maybe that's what this trip was, without expectations, but still exactly what I needed.

A collection of small moments I chose to notice.

A quiet milestone.

A Palm Sunday far from home, yet deeply familiar.

Not sakura,

but close enough to be beautiful in its own way.

A Dental Visit He Was Actually Looking Forward To (And Yes, That's Normal in This House)

2026-04-11T23:12:00.003+08:00

I know this might sound unusual, but my son actually enjoys hospital visits (like mother, like son... 😏)

Doctor's appointments? He's curious.

Dental check-ups? He's excited.

Teeth cleaning and scaling? He looks forward to it.

So no, this wasn't one of those "bracing for impact" parenting moments.

But even then, our recent visit to the dental clinic at Pantai Hospital Kuala Lumpur still stood out in a very meaningful way.

And that's thanks to Dr Priyanka Mahendru.

When a Good Experience Becomes an Exceptional One

When your child is already comfortable with dental visits, the benchmark becomes higher.

It's no longer just about "not being scared". It's about the quality of interaction, attention to detail, and whether the experience feels genuinely thoughtful.

Dr Priyanka impressed me from the start.

She has this ability to quickly find common ground, not just with the child, but also with the parent. There's a natural flow in how she communicates, making the whole session feel collaborative rather than clinical.

What did I appreciate most?

She listens.

As a parent, you're not sidelined. Your input isn't dismissed. Instead, it becomes part of the conversation, which makes a big difference in how confident you feel about your child's care.

A Proud Mum Moment (Because This Is Apparently Rare)

Somewhere in the middle of the session came a moment I didn't expect to feel this proud about.

Dr Priyanka shared that my son has no cavities or caries at all. And then she added something that stayed with me: "This is actually quite rare for boys between 8 to 10 years old."

Let's just say… I had a quiet internal celebration. 😄🎉

Because behind that simple statement is a mix of daily habits, small reminders, and consistent care over time. And hearing it validated by a professional just hits differently.

More Than Just Teeth Cleaning

The session itself was smooth (as expected with him).

But what stood out was how attentive Dr Priyanka was beyond just the cleaning.

She pointed out observations related to his oral health that linked to other areas, including his nasal cavity issues. That kind of holistic attention always reassures me that we're not just addressing symptoms in isolation.

It's thoughtful. It's thorough. And it reflects genuine care.

The Cherry on Top: A Blind Box Plushie

Of course, no story is complete without a little fun.

We signed up for the kids' dental care package, and he got a blind box plushie at the end of the visit.

Was he happy? Absolutely.

Did it make the whole experience even more memorable? Also yes.

Even for a child who already enjoys these visits, that little surprise adds a layer of joy that stays with them.

Why This Experience Matters

This wasn't about overcoming fear.

It was about:

- reinforcing a positive relationship with healthcare

- being heard as a parent

- and seeing a healthcare provider go beyond the basics

And honestly, those are the experiences that build long-term trust.

Would I Recommend This? Without Hesitation

If you're looking for a dentist who:

- communicates well with both child and parent

- pays attention to the bigger picture

- and creates a genuinely positive experience

I would absolutely recommend Dr Priyanka for your child's oral care.

And if you're lucky, you might walk away with more than just clean teeth…

maybe even a proud moment or two!

I Only Feel Like Writing When I'm Falling Apart. Here's What That Taught Me.

2026-04-06T14:34:00.002+08:00

Note: Some of these thoughts began as late-night rants, which I later unpacked with the help of my AI assistant. What you are reading is still deeply personal, just more clearly expressed.

The Versions of Me

There is a version of me that only shows up when I am not okay.

She appears, usually a few days to one week before my period.

She could be dramatic, and in a kind of heavy, inward pull I have soon come to recognise.

I call it my "valley of darkness".

During this phase, everything feels... louder.

Not externally, but internally. My thoughts are sharper, my emotions closer to the surface, and my tolerance for things that I deem as nonsense becomes very low.

And interestingly, this is also when I have the most to say.

Ideas come rapidly.

Connections form effortlessly.

Thoughts that I normally brush aside suddenly feel urgent, important, and worth unpacking.

This is when I rant.

And more often than not, those rants turn into blog posts.

Then, just as suddenly, it all disappears.

When the Shift Happens

The moment my period comes, something shifts.

The emotional intensity softens.

The urgency fades.

The thoughts that once felt so compelling now seem… distant.

And with that, the ideas vanish.

Not reduced. Not dulled.

Vanished.

For the past one and a half weeks, especially after returning from my Macau family trip (which I am struggling to blog about), I have been sitting in this strange calm quietness.

No strong opinions.

No pressing thoughts.

No stories demanding to be written.

Just… stillness.

At first, I thought this meant I was blocked.

But what if it is not a block?

What if it is simply a shift in state?

Comparing the Two States

I am beginning to realise that my writing does not come from discipline alone.

It comes from emotional signals.

The Messier Side

When I am in that darker phase, my mind is actively processing:

frustrations

observations

unresolved questions

quiet tensions I do not usually confront

It is messy, but it is also honest.

And honesty, especially the uncomfortable kind, is incredibly fertile ground for writing.

The Calmer Side

But once my hormones stabilise, my system does something else.

It regulates. It calms. It restores balance.

And in doing so, it removes the very tension that fuels my writing.

Redefining My Own Expectations

Perhaps the problem was never creativity.

The problem was expectation.

I expected myself to:

generate ideas when I feel stable

create from a place that is naturally quieter

produce “insight” without emotional friction

But that is not how I seem to be wired.

I am not a constant-output writer.

I am a signal-driven one.

I write when something feels off.

I write when something needs to be understood.

I write when there is a question I cannot ignore.

And when those signals are not present, my mind rests.

Maybe This is Not A Weakness

For a while, I wondered if this pattern meant something was wrong with me.

Why can I only write when I feel low?

Why can I not produce consistently like others do?

But now I see it differently.

There are two versions of me at play:

One that feels deeply and generates meaning

One that organises, refines, and moves forward

Neither is better.

They simply serve different purposes.

The issue was that I kept asking the second version to do the first version's job.

What I Am Learning to Do Differently

Instead of fighting this rhythm, I am starting to work with it.

When I am in the "valley":

I capture everything

I do not filter

I let the thoughts be messy and incomplete

When I come out of it:

I revisit what was written

I shape it

I give it structure and clarity

In other words, I am learning that I do not need to create and refine at the same time.

A Quiet Realisation

Right now, I may not have new ideas.

But that does not mean I have nothing to say.

It may simply mean that the part of me that feels the need to say it is resting.

And perhaps that is just as important.

Maybe the goal is not to force consistency but to understand the rhythm and trust that when the noise returns, so will the words.

If you have ever noticed your thoughts becoming clearer in your most emotional moments, you are not alone. Perhaps there is something there worth listening to.

I Tried to Stay Healthy. Here’s Why It Still Feels Financially Punishing.

2026-03-23T15:41:00.000+08:00

Staying Healthy Is Expensive. So Why Does the System Still Reward Illness?

Let me start by saying this is not a perspective from an insurance agent, financial planner, or healthcare provider. This is purely a reflection from someone living within the system, paying for it and trying to make sense of it.

Because in my opinion, the reality looks like this, even if you don't fully agree with me:

Health screening? Expensive.

Healthy food? Expensive.

Gym memberships / personal training? Expensive.

Health supplements? Expensive.

Insurance premiums? Increasing year on year.

And yet, when it comes to actually using insurance, many of the things that help us stay healthy aren't claimable at all.

When Prevention Becomes Personal

This realisation became even more apparent as I started paying closer attention to my own health, particularly in this phase of life.

Perimenopause is not a disease, but it is a transition that affects energy, sleep, mood, metabolism, and overall wellbeing.

Managing it often involves regular monitoring, follow-up consultations with specialist doctors, hormonal support, and lifestyle adjustments. None of which are typically considered "claimable".

So here lies the disconnect: you are not sick, but you are also not entirely "fine". And the system, as it stands, does not quite know what to do with that in-between space.

The System Isn't Designed for Prevention

Most insurance systems are built around a very specific idea: you can only claim after something has gone wrong, which means you can claim when you are diagnosed with a disease, when treatment becomes necessary, and when treatment costs become significant.

Which also means you cannot claim when you are trying to detect problems early, manage long-term health proactively, or reduce future risks.

In other words, the system is designed for intervention, not prevention, and this creates a strange paradox.

The Prevention Paradox

From a logical standpoint, prevention makes sense. Like this: early detection → simpler treatment → lower cost → fewer large claims

So in theory, encouraging preventive care should benefit both individuals and insurers. But in practice, preventive care sits outside the system.

Why? Because preventive care requires upfront spending, doesn't guarantee immediate outcomes, and is harder to standardise across populations. Whereas treatment is clearly defined, measurable, and easier to price and insure.

So instead of a system that rewards staying well, we end up with one that primarily responds to illness.

The Real Cost of "Staying Healthy"

What many of us are experiencing today is a shift. Health is no longer just about treating disease.

It's about maintaining metabolic health, hormonal balance, mental wellbeing, and long-term quality of life.

But maintaining all of this often comes with out-of-pocket costs. And over time, it starts to feel like, "I'm paying to stay healthy… and I'm still paying in case I get sick."

That double layer of cost is where the frustration comes from.

So What Can We Do Within the Limits of the System?

Well, the system won't change overnight, but I guess how we respond to it can. Instead of viewing this as an either-or situation, i.e., "insurance or prevention", it's more helpful to see them as two separate roles.

Insurance as Protection, Not Everyday Use

Insurance should be best understood as protection against catastrophic events, i.e., the unexpected, high-cost situations that we cannot plan for. It's not designed to cover routine health maintenance.

Prevention as Personal Investment

Preventive care, which includes health screenings, supplements, and gym sessions, becomes a form of long-term investment in quality of life, especially in life stages like perimenopause, where the goal is not just to treat illness but to maintain stability and function.

Be Selective, Not Exhaustive

Not every supplement, test, or trend is necessary. Focusing on evidence-based screenings, essential lifestyle habits, and medically guided interventions can help reduce unnecessary spending.

Create a "Health Fund" Mindset

Instead of reacting to costs, I read that some people allocate a specific budget for health maintenance, treating it as a planned expense rather than a recurring frustration.

A System That Hasn't Caught Up (Yet)

Healthcare systems around the world are slowly shifting toward prevention. But change takes time.

In the meantime, some of us are navigating this in-between space. We are more aware of our health than ever before but still operating within systems designed for a different era.

The reality is, taking care of our health today requires both protection for the unexpected

and intentional investment in the everyday.

This is not a conclusion from the industry. It is a perspective from someone living within it.

It may not feel fair. But it is, for now, the reality we work within. And perhaps the real shift is this: not waiting for the system to reward prevention, but choosing it anyway.

A Visit That Made Me Feel Seen and Understood About Perimenopause

2026-03-20T00:15:00.004+08:00

So I have written about something many women quietly experience – the moment when burnout does not quite feel like burnout anymore. If you missed it, you can read it here: "The Subtle Changes of Your Forties: When Burnout Might Actually Be Perimenopause".

Taking the Next Step

After recognising that some of the changes I was experiencing could be linked to perimenopause, I decided to do something about it. So I went for a consultation with Dr. Premitha Damodaran, a menopause specialist at Pantai Hospital Kuala Lumpur.

I went in with a list of symptoms: mood swings, sleep disruptions, brain fog, cholesterol shifts, etc., but I also went in with a quiet question: is this really what I think it is?

A Consultation That Looked at the Whole Picture

What I appreciated most about the session was how the consultation itself was not rushed. Instead, it felt like a thoughtful conversation.

She asked about different aspects of my health, not just one isolated symptom. We spoke about my cholesterol levels; menstrual cycle – how regular or irregular it has been; and weight changes. She also asked about my Mirena IUD and why I chose to have it.

But the conversation did not stop there. Beyond that, she explored things that are often easy to dismiss, such as my sleep patterns, mood changes, memory, and even whether I had any joint pain or bowel changes. These things are usually ignored or dismissed, but they are actually part of the bigger picture.

Our body does not work in isolation. Everything is connected. Hence, it makes total sense to also look at all these different aspects of health.

Understanding What My Body Is Already Doing

One of the most reassuring parts of the consultation was realising that my body is not "falling apart". Without going into too much detail, what I wanted to say is that the narrative was changed from "something is wrong" to "something needs to be balanced".

Starting with the Foundation: Sleep

Interestingly, we are not trying to fix everything at once. The first focus is sleep. She explained that improving sleep can influence many other areas such as energy levels, mood, and even the ability to stay consistent with lifestyle habits.

Start with the foundation, and let the rest build from there.

We also spoke about exercise. Not as something I need to force immediately, but as something to build into gradually, especially weight training, once my sleep and energy improve.

There is a time to push, and there is a time to restore. Not as a pressure to immediately "do more", but as a next step when my body is ready. This perspective stayed with me.

Rather than trying to fix everything at once, we start with something that supports the body more holistically. And sometimes, restoration needs to come first.

Walking Away Feeling Supported

If my previous article was about awareness, this experience was about reassurance.

There is something deeply comforting about being heard, understood, and guided with clarity. It reminded me that navigating perimenopause does not have to be confusing or isolating. With the right support, it becomes something we can understand, manage, and even learn from.

I am still at the beginning of this journey. There will likely be adjustments along the way, like new observations, new questions, and perhaps new insights.

But for now, I feel more grounded. Not because everything is solved, but because I understand a little more about what my body is going through. And I truly believe that understanding is the most important first step.

Watch Dr. Premitha's short video about perimenopause.

The Subtle Changes of Your Forties: When Burnout Might Actually Be Perimenopause

2026-03-17T22:05:00.010+08:00

A Personal Observation

I have begun noticing changes in myself that I could not immediately explain for the past 4-5 years, but they have intensified since last year.

My sleep feels different. I couldn't fall asleep fast enough. I need a moment longer to recall a word. Situations that I would normally handle without much thought feel a little more draining than before. My brain feels like it's in the drain. Lots of things could trigger an onslaught of emotions. I feel challenged in many ways, and I dislike the feeling of not being in control.

At first, I assumed it was simply the result of a busy season of life. Like many women in their forties, I am balancing work, studies, family, and the usual responsibilities that come with adulthood.

But as I started paying closer attention, I realised these changes were not random. They seemed to follow a pattern that many women eventually encounter: the stage of perimenopause, which is the hormonal transition before menopause.

Perimenopause can begin several years before menopause itself, and hormonal fluctuations during this time can affect sleep, mood, metabolism, and cognitive function. Ouch!

Five Signs You May Be Entering Perimenopause

Here are five signs that are often mistaken for burnout but may actually be related to perimenopause.

1. You Notice More "Brain Fog" Than Before

Many women begin to notice changes in memory or concentration during perimenopause. You might take longer to recall certain words, forget why you entered a room, or feel that your thinking is slightly slower than before. For women like me who rely heavily on mental sharpness at work or in daily life, this can feel worrying.

Research shows that cognitive symptoms such as brain fog, slower recall, and reduced focus are common during perimenopause and are linked to hormonal fluctuations affecting brain function. The brain contains many receptors for oestrogen, and fluctuations in this hormone can influence memory and processing speed.

2. Your Tolerance for Stress Feels Lower

Another common experience during perimenopause is a change in how the body responds to stress. Hormonal fluctuations can affect the body's stress-response system, including how the nervous system regulates cortisol and emotional responses.

Situations that once felt manageable may now feel more draining. You may find yourself feeling overwhelmed more easily, especially when juggling multiple responsibilities at work or at home. This is so true.

3. You Have Difficulty Falling Asleep

Sleep disruption is one of the earliest and most overlooked signs of perimenopause. As Dr. Mary Claire Haver highlights, many women experience a "hidden sleep crisis" during this stage, often mistaking it for stress rather than a hormonal shift.

Some women find that they feel tired but have difficulty falling asleep. Others may notice that their sleep schedule shifts or that they wake earlier than usual. For me, I couldn't fall asleep as fast as I wanted it to be. Sometimes I could lie in bed for two hours before being able to fall asleep. One reason for this is that progesterone, a hormone that has calming and sleep-supporting effects, may fluctuate or decline during this stage of life.

4. Your Body Stores Weight Differently

Many women are surprised to notice weight changes during their forties, even when their diet and activity levels remain the same. Experts note that visceral fat increases even without lifestyle changes due to hormonal shifts.

Hormonal decline can lead to weight changes and fat redistribution, particularly abdominal fat. Oestrogen plays a role in how the body distributes fat. Changes in oestrogen levels can influence how the body stores fat, which is why many women notice increased weight around the abdomen during the perimenopause stage. Clothes may fit differently even if overall weight has not changed dramatically.

5. Your Emotions Feel More Sensitive at Times

Many women report feeling "not quite themselves" emotionally during early stages. Mood swings, irritability, and emotional changes are common symptoms of perimenopause. You might feel more irritable than usual or react more strongly to situations that previously felt minor.

These emotional shifts can come and go as hormone levels fluctuate throughout the cycle. This fluctuation affects the brain chemicals that regulate mood, including serotonin and GABA. When hormone levels fluctuate, mood regulation can become more sensitive.

Why High-Performing Women Often Notice These Changes More

Interestingly, many women who notice these changes most clearly are those who are used to functioning at a high mental and emotional capacity.

Women in their forties are often balancing demanding careers, family responsibilities, and multiple commitments. They are accustomed to being organised, efficient, and mentally sharp. Because of this, even small shifts in sleep, memory, stress tolerance, or energy can become noticeable.

When these changes appear, it's easy to assume that something is wrong or that burnout is setting in. However, hormonal fluctuations during perimenopause can affect several systems in the body at the same time, including sleep regulation, cognitive processing, mood stability, and metabolism.

For women who have spent years managing complex schedules and responsibilities, these subtle changes may feel especially surprising.

To be very honest, I was taken aback by these changes, particularly the feeling that they were no longer entirely within my control.

Taking Action

Because of that, I began reading and researching to better understand what was happening in my body. I needed this knowledge not just for information, but to reduce unnecessary self-criticism and self-doubt.

I'm not labelling myself or limiting what I can do. I'm creating awareness. And with awareness, we can begin to adapt our routines, priorities, and self-care in ways that support our well-being more sustainably.

It also made me reflect on something else. For many years, women's health experiences were not openly discussed. Conversations around hormonal changes were often minimised or simply not prioritised.

But times are changing. More women today are beginning to speak, share, and seek understanding, not just for themselves but for those who come after them. In many ways, we are part of a generation that is learning to listen to our bodies more closely and to give language to experiences that were once kept quiet.

That realisation led me to take the next step: to speak with a menopause specialist and better understand what my body needs.

In this next post, I share what that consultation was like and why it made me feel more supported than I expected.

References

Menopause symptoms that may surprise you: What to watch for during perimenopause

Menopause and stress

The Girls Aren't Sleeping

Menopause Masterclass: Hormones, Brain Fog, Weight & Mental Health with Dr. Mary Claire Haver

How symptoms of perimenopause and menopause can impact mental health

In Another Universe, I Have Four Animals

2026-03-14T12:12:00.002+08:00

Sometimes I imagine a slightly different version of my life. Well, I believe we all carry small alternate universes in our minds, like the café we never opened, the house by the lake we never bought, and the pets we never adopted.

In one of mine, four animals share my home: Sherlock, Sheldon, Shelby, and Shiloh. Each of them carries a distinct personality, and if I'm honest, I suspect each of them represents a different part of me.

Sherlock, the Curious One

Sherlock is always investigating something: a rustle in the garden, a new bag brought into the house, a sound that most people would ignore. Nothing escapes his attention. He moves through the world with quiet curiosity, piecing together clues that others might miss.

If I look closely, Sherlock reminds me of the curious part of me; the part that looks at trends, behaviour, and patterns and wonders, "Why does this happen? What does it mean?" Sherlock notices everything. And perhaps that is why I understand him best.

Sheldon, the Keeper of Order

Sheldon prefers structure. His world runs on quiet precision. The warmth of the terrarium lamp turns on at the same hour each day. Feeding time follows a familiar rhythm. Even the small cave he retreats to remains perfectly positioned where he expects it to be.

If something changes, like a shifted rock or a slightly different light, Sheldon notices and quietly evaluates the disturbance. There is something comforting about that predictability. While the rest of the household moves with noise and energy, Sheldon lives by steady patterns. Day after day, the same gentle routines create a small, controlled universe within glass walls.

If I look closely, Sheldon reminds me of the part of me who needs structure. Structure is not the enemy of creativity. To me, structure is what allows everything else to function.

Shelby, the One Who Understands People

Shelby has a quiet gift for reading the room. He notices when someone arrives tired from a long day, when a visitor lingers a little longer by the door, and when the energy in the house shifts in subtle ways. His welcome is warm but never overwhelming. A gentle wag of the tail, a soft presence beside whoever needs it.

If I look closely, Shelby reminds me of the part of me who views genuine connection as not having to be loud or obvious. Sometimes it is simply the ability to notice people, to recognise when someone needs comfort, conversation, or just quiet companionship.

Shiloh, the Quiet Observer

Shiloh spends a lot of time by the window. He watches the street, the trees, and the changing light of the afternoon. While the others move around the house with energy and purpose, Shiloh seems content simply to observe.

In the evenings, he walks beside me slowly, matching my pace without pulling ahead. There is something peaceful about his presence.

If I look closely, Shiloh reminds me of the part of me who values quiet downtime. Not every moment needs to be filled with activity. Some moments are meant simply for reflection.

A Small Ecosystem of Personalities

When I imagine this household, I realise something interesting. Each of these animals reflects a different way of moving through the world.

Sherlock, curious and analytical.

Sheldon, structured and dependable.

Shelby, warm and generous.

Shiloh, calm and reflective.

Together, they form a kind of balance. Perhaps that is why the image feels so comforting. Because somewhere in that imagined home, all those parts coexist peacefully.

The Universe That Exists Only in Imagination

In reality, I do not have these animals. Life sometimes takes us down paths where certain things, even lovely things, are simply not part of the journey.

But every now and then, I visit this alternate universe in my mind.

A place where mornings begin with the sound of paws on the floor. Where Sherlock investigates the garden, Sheldon rests quietly beneath the warmth of his lamp, Shelby greets the day with enthusiasm, and Shiloh watches the sunrise beside me.

It is not a grand life. Just a quiet one, filled with companionship and small, warm moments. And perhaps that is enough.

Preparing for the Care We Rarely Talk About

2026-03-03T21:21:00.003+08:00

I registered for the "The First Step in Caregiving: Chaperone & Companionship" course at Care Concierge Academy with no particular expectations. I assumed it would be practical and instructional. I thought I would simply learn some guidelines on caring for elderly family members and understanding when something constitutes a medical emergency.

What I did not expect was how personal the experience would feel.

More Than Just Technical Skills

The course was not limited to caring for older adults. It covered anyone who might be bedridden or dependent on others for daily needs, including stroke patients.

We learnt the basics of handwashing; how to wear surgical masks and gloves properly; how to perform perineal care, change urine bags, and change adult nappies; and how to safely transfer someone from a bed to a wheelchair and into a car. We were taught how to use a gait belt during mobility transfers and what it means to chaperone someone during hospital visits and medical appointments.

These were technical skills. Necessary ones.

But somewhere in between the demonstrations and instructions, something shifted in me.

The Moment It Became Personal

During the session on perineal care, I felt an unexpected sense of helplessness. It was not because the procedure was difficult to understand. It was because I suddenly imagined myself in that position one day.

If I were old and bedridden, how would I allow myself to be cleaned and handled by someone else? How would I accept being touched by strangers? How far could I hold on to my dignity without feeling shitty?

I realised how much I dislike asking for help from strangers. The thought of depending entirely on someone else for basic hygiene unsettled me more than I expected. It made me confront a version of vulnerability that I had not fully considered before.

Understanding Dementia Differently

The course also touched on dementia. We learned that patients may refuse to eat, may behave unpredictably, and can deteriorate in ways that are painful to witness. They are not difficult because they choose to be. Dementia is a disease that gradually eats away at the brain. The behaviour is not personality; it is pathology.

That reframing matters. It shifts frustration into compassion. It shifts judgement into understanding.

Why I Signed Up in the First Place

I attended this course because I wanted to be the first in my family to know what to look out for. I wanted to be able to recognise when something is a medical emergency and when it is not. I wanted to understand how to care for my loved ones before immediately turning to external professional caregivers. I wanted to feel prepared.

A geriatric specialist once told me that in an emergency, I should just go to the hospital. That advice is correct. Hospitals are for emergencies.

The Part No One Talks About: After the Hospital

But what happens after the hospital is what concerns me most.

The discharge summary is handed over. The medication list is explained. The follow-up appointment is scheduled. Then the patient goes home.

Home is where the real care begins.

Who helps with toileting?

Who ensures proper hygiene?

Who notices subtle changes?

Who handles mobility transfers?

Who sits through the waiting at medical appointments?

Who understands when agitation is part of dementia and not defiance?

That "after" is rarely discussed openly.

Yet it is the reality many families quietly navigate.

Working closely with hospitals over the years has given me insight into patient journeys, discharge processes, and continuity of care from a systems perspective.

But sitting in this caregiving class made me feel the emotional weight of what those transitions actually mean at home. It moved the concept of "post-discharge care" from professional understanding to personal responsibility.

What Shifted in Me

What shifted in me was not fear, although there was some of that. It was a deeper awareness of responsibility.

When the time comes, how ready will I be for my family? How ready will I be for myself?

Caregiving is not only about physical tasks. It is about preserving dignity when independence is no longer possible. It is about balancing clinical necessity with emotional sensitivity. It is about being steady when someone else feels vulnerable.

Preparedness is not only medical knowledge. It is emotional readiness. It is the willingness to step into uncomfortable spaces. It is acknowledging that one day, roles may reverse.

Midlife, Readiness, and Contribution

Perhaps this is also what midlife begins to look like. It is not only about career growth or personal ambition. It is about contribution. It is about quietly preparing for responsibilities that may not yet have arrived but eventually will.

We often prepare for promotions, investments, and milestones. We rarely prepare for frailty, dependency, or decline. Yet these are just as much a part of life.

I do not know what the future holds for my parents, my loved ones, or myself. But I know this: when the time comes, I want to contribute meaningfully. I want to respond with knowledge instead of panic. I want to act with steadiness instead of avoidance.

The hospital may handle the emergency.

But the care after that, the quiet, daily, intimate care, is what truly sustains a person.

And that is what I am learning to take seriously.

Part of the #CareAndCalling series

#CareAndCalling is a series about preparing for the responsibilities we rarely talk about, and recognising that care is not a detour but a calling.

– Finding My Way Back to Healthcare

– Learning to Care, Before We Have To

– This Was Never a Detour

– What Healthcare Has Quietly Taught Me

Year of the Horse: In Between Family, Work, and Small Wins

2026-02-27T22:44:00.001+08:00

Chinese New Year has always meant reunion dinners and festive celebrations. As I grow older, I find that it also becomes a reflection of the different roles I carry in life.

There was the familiar Lou Sang with family. Everyone leaned in as we tossed the colourful mix of vegetables, crackers, and abalone into the air. It was fun, slightly chaotic, and exactly how it should be. Family gatherings remind me that beyond deadlines, projects, and responsibilities, there is a foundation that stays constant. Traditions like this are simple, but they anchor the year.

Then there were Lou Sangs with colleagues and clients. One photo captures it well: multiple pairs of chopsticks meeting in the centre of the plate, waiting to toss everything as high as we could! It was a reminder that work is not just about deliverables and targets. It is about people. It is about partnerships built over time, conversations that go beyond emails, and shared meals that make professional relationships more human.

Attending the company’s Chinese New Year dinner party also felt meaningful in its own way. Seeing everyone dressed up, relaxed, and celebrating together allowed me to step back from the usual work mode and appreciate the team behind the projects. Moments like these help us reconnect as people first.

There was also a small but memorable surprise. I won a Uniqlo gift card during the lucky draw! Woohoo! It may seem like a small win, but I have come to appreciate small wins like these more deeply. They are reminders that joy does not always come from grand achievements. Sometimes it comes in unexpected envelopes handed to you at the end of a dinner. See how big my smile was!

Walking through Pavilion Bukit Jalil (it was a planned date with hubby hehehe) and seeing the elaborate Chinese New Year decorations added another layer to the season. The red lanterns, festive displays, and crowd gathering to watch lion dance performance made the celebration feel communal. It was not just about personal rituals or company events. It was about being part of a larger rhythm that happens across the city during this time of year.

The Year of the Horse is said to symbolise strength, endurance, and forward momentum. As we continue into this new year, I hope: To show up for the people who matter. To build meaningful work. To appreciate small wins. And to remember that sometimes, the most valuable moments are the ones that happen in between.

Happy Chinese New Year.

What Healthcare Has Quietly Taught Me

2026-02-15T18:10:00.007+08:00

Sometimes it takes a few years in a field before you realise how deeply it has shaped the way you think. When I first moved into healthcare communications, I saw it as a career trajectory shift. It meant learning new terminologies, understanding patient education, and helping hospital brands win brand resonance. What I did not expect was how much it would change the way I understand care itself.

The Moment That Changed My Perspective

One of the moments that stayed with me was my visit to Modern Cancer Hospital Guangzhou. Walking through the hospital was not just a work trip. It was the first time I saw, up close, how an entire system revolves around patients who are navigating one of the most uncertain chapters of their lives. It was not just about treatment rooms, equipment, or medical expertise. It was also about the conversations happening in consultation rooms and the waiting areas and the way doctors explained options to people who were trying to process life-changing information.

That visit helped me see cancer care differently. It is not simply about treatment. It is about guiding people through a long and often overwhelming journey. Patients move through stages of diagnosis, decisions, treatment, side effects, and recovery, and along the way they need clarity, reassurance, and someone who can help them understand what comes next.

Seeing Cancer Care Beyond Treatment

What stayed with me was not the technology or the procedures, but the conversations whereby complex information had to be conveyed into something understandable and where patients needed both facts and reassurance at the same time.

It made me realise that medicine, especially in fields like oncology, is as much about guidance as it is about treatment.

Why Healthcare Still Shapes My Daily Work

Even today, although I now work in a digital marketing agency, my day-to-day work remains deeply connected to healthcare. My main clients are hospital brands, which means I regularly research medical trends, diseases, and patient concerns and transform those insights into educational content for hospital websites. Staying immersed in this work keeps me closely aware of how patients seek understanding, how families search for reassurance, and how important clear communication becomes when people are facing uncertainty.

Through this ongoing exposure, I began to notice what resonates most strongly with me. It is not the technical side of medicine or the procedures themselves. What draws me in is the role of helping people navigate critical life chapters and understand what is happening to them.

Note: This caricature reflects what I do most days: working with data trends, healthcare content strategy and planning, usually with a laptop open and coffee within reach. I spend a lot of time thinking about how to turn information into something useful, clear, and meaningful. Still learning, still building, and very much enjoying the process.

The Question That Made Me Reflect

At one point, I found myself wondering what specialty I might have chosen if life had taken me into medicine. The answer that came to mind was oncology, or something related to chronic care. It was not because I was drawn to the disease itself or to clinical interventions. It was because oncology represents a space where doctors accompany patients over time, helping them understand their situation, weigh difficult choices, and move forward step by step.

Realising What Truly Resonates

When I reflected on that thought more carefully, I realised that what appealed to me was not the specialty title, but the sense of being a steady guide when life becomes uncertain. That instinct is less about medicine and more about purpose. It is about helping people make sense of complex information, supporting them through decisions, and making difficult journeys feel more navigable.

Guiding From Outside the Consultation Room

In many ways, I have come to see that this guiding role can exist beyond the consultation room. Healthcare communication, when done responsibly, is not just about marketing or messaging. It shapes how patients first encounter information, how they interpret their options, and how confident they feel in seeking care. Clear content can reduce fear. Thoughtful explanations can empower families. Well-structured patient journeys can make an overwhelming system feel more understandable.

This perspective has changed how I see my own work. I no longer think of it only in terms of campaigns or deliverables. I see it as contributing, in a different but meaningful way, to how people experience care during vulnerable moments in their lives.

While clinicians guide one patient at a time, those working within healthcare systems and communication channels have the opportunity to improve the journey for many more.

What This Means for the Way I See My Work Now

Looking back, my visit to Modern Cancer Hospital Guangzhou was one of the ignition points for this realisation. It helped me understand that what matters most to me is not simply working in healthcare but being part of work that supports people through significant chapters of their lives. Whether that happens in a hospital consultation room or through clearer communication that reaches thousands, the intention remains the same.

I may not wear a white coat, but I have come to recognise that the instinct to guide, clarify, and support is still very much part of what I do. And perhaps that is what truly defines the kind of work that stays with us.

Celebratory Meals at Shinmapo & Kung Jung Korean Restaurants

2026-02-08T18:22:00.005+08:00

My Recent Realisation

I realised I no longer celebrate milestones the way I once did. There was a time when achievements felt incomplete unless they were announced, shared, or marked in a visible way. These days, I find myself doing the opposite. I tend to let the moment settle before deciding whether it needs to be explained at all.

Recently, two Korean meals (one at Shinmapo and another at Kung Jung) became those markers for me. Not in an obvious way but they simply arrived at the right time, where I am more aware of how far I have come, and more selective about what deserves my energy.

The Down-to-Earth Vibe of Shinmapo

Shinmapo felt familiar and grounding. The food was hearty and uncomplicated, the kind that does not demand attention but offers comfort through consistency. Think KBBQ pork in different cuts, refillable banchan, and plenty of kimchi.

There is something reassuring about meals like this, especially when they are shared with friends. They remind you that steadiness is a form of strength, and achievements do not always have to be impressive to be meaningful. Happiness, when shared, is happiness gained.

The Refined Vibe of Kung Jung

Kung Jung, on the other hand, carried a different tone. The experience was more refined and more composed. Think Hanwoo beef, pollack, beef ribs, yukhoe (Korean-style beef tartare). It was mostly measured and intentional, much like the mindset I find myself in now. There was no rush or the need to prove anything. Just be present.

Embracing the Co-Existence

What struck me was not the contrast between the two restaurants, but how naturally they coexisted within the same period of my life. Familiarity and growth do not cancel each other out. In this season, I am learning that it is possible to hold both and to appreciate where I am now.

These meals did not feel like celebrations in the traditional sense. They felt more like acknowledgements. A recognition that something has shifted, that certain chapters have closed, and I have come to appreciate this quieter way of marking time.

Not every win needs to be explained. Some are meant to be quietly celebrated and fully owned. Period.

This Was Never a Detour

2026-01-31T14:36:00.002+08:00

Once Upon A Time in Secondary School

After SPM, I applied to nursing school in USM and was accepted.

I remember that moment clearly. It felt right. It felt certain. But my mother said NO, and that was the end of that path, at least for then.

So I stayed. I did my STPM. I continued studying pure science subjects. It wasn't easy. Life wasn't exactly great at home, but that's another story to tell.

Graduated from University of Malaya (UM)

I entered University of Malaya and graduated with a Bachelor of Science in Education (Honours) with Distinction, majoring in Biology with a minor in Chemistry. I was very proud that I did well.

My Career Path Throughout the Years

Somewhere along the way, my career took me into marketing.

To an outsider, it might look like a sharp turn. To me, it felt more like translation. I learned how to communicate, influence, build systems, and tell stories. These are skills that later found their way back into healthcare in unexpected forms. I worked closely with medical institutions, health services, and patient-facing platforms. For a long time, that felt like home.

Before enrolling in my Master of Marketing, I almost chose a Master of Public Health instead. I remember hesitating. Not because I lacked interest, but because I questioned legitimacy. I wasn't a doctor. My professional experience lived elsewhere. So I chose the path that aligned most neatly with my resume.

That choice made sense. And yet, the question never fully went away.

My Recent Outlook

More recently, I noticed myself looking again. This time at micro-credentials, short courses, certification programmes, anything that would allow me to re-enter the healthcare landscape without uprooting my life. Not to start over, but to reconnect.

That was how I found myself enrolling in a chaperone and companionship course focused on ageing and caregiving. And later, being accepted into a formal programme on ageing and geriatric rehabilitation, a course I will take in a later season, when timing allows.

Am I Complicating Things?

For a while, I wondered if I was complicating things.

But then I realised something important:

This was never a detour.

From nursing school to science education, from public health curiosity to healthcare work, from caregiving to geriatric learning: the thread has always been there. What changed were the forms, shaped by family, feasibility, responsibility, and season of life.

I am no longer trying to become who I wanted to be at eighteen.

I am becoming who I can be now, with clarity, maturity, and intention.

Some callings do not disappear when they are deferred. They wait patiently until we are ready to hold them properly.

Learning to Care, Before We Have To

2026-01-21T00:08:00.001+08:00

The following reflection builds on an earlier piece about finding my way back to healthcare; not by changing careers, but by integrating care into how I live.

Malaysia, an ageing nation.

Malaysia is changing quietly, steadily, and in ways that will touch almost every family. We are now considered an ageing nation, and alongside that shift comes a reality many of us are only beginning to confront: caregiving is no longer optional, distant, or theoretical.

After reflecting on my own relationship with healthcare and why I've been drawn back to it, this post moves from reflection to action, and why I chose to start learning how to care, before circumstances force us to.

Conversations around me.

Lately, when I speak to friends with ageing parents, the same sentence keeps appearing in different forms: "It's not easy to find a caretaker who can take care of my parents well."

Good and trusted caretakers and home nurses who can come to the house are not only difficult to find; they can be costly in the long run. Many families are navigating dementia, Parkinson's, mobility loss, post-stroke recovery, or the slow erosion of independence that comes with age. Almost everyone I know has some version of this story unfolding in their home.

It is not only my friends. Many of my in-laws' peers are living with some form of cancer, diabetes, heart disease, relapses, and chronic conditions - whether being actively treated or quietly endured.

A quiet realisation.

And slowly, it becomes impossible to ignore the truth:

My in-laws are ageing.

One day, my husband will age too.

And so will I.

This awareness has shifted something in me.

I am not a doctor, and at this stage of life, I don't need to be. What I do need is the ability to respond calmly, competently, and compassionately; someone who does not freeze when an elderly parent falls, forgets, weakens, or needs help with the most basic human tasks.

I want at least one person in the household who understands ageing, who can respond with calm, knowledge, and compassion.

Taking action.

That desire led me to register for the "Chaperone & Companionship Course: The First Step in Caregiving" by Care Concierge Malaysia. It's a practical programme that introduces essential skills such as basic health assessment, patient communication, observation, mobility support, and personal care.

Around the same time, I was accepted into a formal programme on Ageing & Geriatric Rehabilitation. Although I had to decline the intake due to timing, the decision to return in the later part of the year felt intentional rather than disappointing. Some learning needs space. Some knowledge deserves readiness. This is one of them.

Getting myself ready.

2026 will be a year of grounding - finishing my Master of Marketing, deepening my work, and continuing to learn through hands-on caregiving exposure.

By 2027, I shall be ready to step into structured geriatric training with clarity, intention, and emotional maturity. Not because I am certain this will become my full-time path, but because I believe some knowledge is too important to postpone.

Caregiving, to me, is not a career move or a credential chase. It is a form of readiness for my family and for the realities that will arrive whether we plan for them or not.

In a society that is growing older, choosing to learn how to care is not dramatic. It is practical, humane, and something I would rather do early, calmly, and with intention before we have to.

Finding My Way Back to Healthcare

2026-01-18T21:03:00.002+08:00

I have always wanted to be a doctor.

Some of you might know that I have always wanted to be a medical doctor. Not casually. Not as a childhood phase.

It was a quiet, persistent knowing that followed me into adulthood, you know, the pull towards medicine, care, understanding the human body, and being present in moments that matter most.

Life, of course, took me elsewhere. That particular path is no longer feasible, and I have made my peace with that, or so I thought.

Over the years...

I built a meaningful career in marketing, eventually finding myself working closely within healthcare organisations. For a long time, that felt like enough. I was still in the industry I loved. Still learning. Still close to care, even if not at the bedside.

Then, gradually, some of those containers disappeared.

Roles changed. Chapters ended. A venture I believed in came to an abrupt close.

And suddenly, I realised something that unsettled me more than I expected. I no longer felt inside the healthcare world. I was adjacent to it, serving it, speaking about it, but no longer held by it.

Grieving is necessary.

That realisation triggered a quiet grief. Not because I wanted to change careers. Not because I was unhappy with what I do. But because I had lost proximity to something that once felt like home.

Healthcare, for me, has never been about titles or prestige. It has always been about care, dignity, vulnerability, and being useful when things are fragile.

Somewhere along the way, I began to miss that deeply human dimension, the kind that cannot be fully accessed through strategy decks or analytics dashboards.

Looking for my way back in.

I started looking for ways back in. Not dramatic ones. Not radical pivots. But honest, age-appropriate, sustainable ones.

And so, I enrolled in a one-day caregiving-related course; it's practical, grounded, human.

I will blog about this after completing it.

I was also accepted into a professional certificate programme focused on ageing and rehabilitation. Even though I had to decline the intake due to timing, the decision to return in a later part of the year felt right; it's unrushed, intentional.

I know I am not trying to become a doctor anymore.

But I am also not willing to let that part of me disappear.

My next blog post (Learning to Care, Before We Have To) explores why I focus on ageing care.

When growth requires intentional integration.

What I am doing now is something quieter. It's called integrating.

Integrating who I have become with who I once wanted to be. Integrating knowledge with care. Integrating work with life, family, ageing, and the realities that are already knocking at our doors.

I don't know yet what this will lead to. And for once, I'm okay with not knowing.

Some learning is not about outcomes. It's about belonging and returning, differently.

And maybe this is what growing older with intention looks like: not chasing old dreams, but finding new ways to honour them.