faster pussycat.. type! type!

Take me home I-5.

2009-11-01T01:57:29Z

I wasn't back in the states more than 20 minutes before I was asking myself why I left in the first place. Oh yeah, fell in love with a boy. Man, I sure do love it here. I haven't even travelled across the bridge to Seattle proper yet. Been spending most of my time in the Woodinville - Bothell - Kirkland area. So gorgeous. All the evergreens mixed with fall foliage.

The one thing that would make it perfect is for a certain boy to be down here with me. And the kittens.

Going here helped.

I decided that the best way I could help my cousin Kirsten through this horrible time was to ease her spirit a bit. And make sure she has baby soft skin. So I am taking her to the naked lady spa on Tuesday. Where she has permission to cry all she wants to while she soaks in a hot pool for 45 minutes before someone spends another 45 minutes scrubbing the sadness and death off her. Even the sadness hiding in her butt crack. I don't know, maybe that's not what most people would do for a grieving widow. But it sounded appropriate to me.

Ok, yes, I get to go as well. But I might have some sadness hiding in my butt crack too.

We are quicksilver, a fleeting shadow, a distant sound... our home has no boundaries beyond which we cannot pass. We live in music, in a flash of color... we live on the wind and in the sparkle of a star!

2009-10-29T23:44:51Z

Wow. The blog has been silent awhile, hasn't it.

I'm leaving for Wa tomorrow. Not as expected. I'm going to be traveling down without Wil. There has been a death in my family, and it's important that I go and be with the people who need me right now. Death in the family is one of the emergencies that should allow me to travel alone, and still get back into Canada. Hopefully.

Wil does not have his passport yet, it should be arriving by registered mail on Friday the 6th. So he will be coming down on the 7th and we'll drive home together on the 8th. So I will be with my husband when I get back to Canada, however, not the entire time I travelled. Nonetheless, my lawyer said I have a good reason. Worst case scenario, I will not be let back in. At this point, I am very close to getting my VISA. It would suck, but not as much as if it were six months ago or last year.

I did receive my work permit. On my work permit it states "Application for PR status has received initial approval." PR = Permanent Residence. That works in my favor as well.

I don't feel quite as excited as you'd think I would feel. Well, one - it's a death in the family. And I am quite shocked and saddened right now. Two - I am paranoid. I think I will always be paranoid until I have my visa. I'm quite sure that Wil will get tired of all the strategizing I will do next week, via email, on his entrance into the states. "If they say this, answer that. Don't say this unless they ask. Carry X,Y and Z with you. Make a copy of that thing." And so on. Why I should worry about his entrance into the states is beyond me. Canadians come down to the states ALL THE FREAKIN' TIME. Plus, he's a grown up. Maybe because things went all wonky for me coming into Canada two and a half years ago, I'm always going to be a freak about it. I hope not, because I have hopes for us going back and forth as we like many times. God forbid I turn into some kind of anal retentive freak about it.

Three, I will miss him. I always thought when I got married I would have to marry someone who is SUPER understanding because I would be FIERCELY independent. None of that mooshy stuff when one of us had to travel with the other. But it's been two and a half years of pretty much constant companionship. One time, Wil went to Victoria for a couple of nights without me. But other than that, not a day has gone by, you know? So, I'm really going to miss him. I'm already missing him and I haven't left yet. Turns out, I'm mooshy.

He, however, will probably beer drinking no pants boy parties with video games and cigarettes and no girls allowed.

Ok, let's just get this over with and then move on.

2009-10-13T17:22:11Z

I have a confession to make. I've avoided talking about it because, oh I don't know, SHAME. And the hope that it would all just magically go away. I've gained a lot of weight in the past year. Summer of 2008 I was the skinniest I had been since Jr. High. But by summer of 2009 I had gained a great deal of the weight I had lost on the diet I started 3.5 years ago.

I never believed I would gain it back. I thought, not me, if I start to gain even a little weight, I will nip that right in the bud. Well, I not only nipped it, but I ate the entire bud. So to speak. I can break my weight gain down into three phases.

Phase One: Wil's schedule changed in summer of '08, to a 2pm to 10 pm schedule. On the one hand, I was THRILLED I did not have to figure out what to make for dinner each night. Sometimes I would make something that would leave us with leftovers that Wil could take to work the next day. However, this meant we were both eating a lot more crap. A lot of snacky and fast food. His schedule went back normal in the fall, but the damage had already begun. I had lost interest in preparing healthy dinners.

Phase Two: I discovered French Toast flavored bagels at the Safeway. I ate them ALL THE TIME. They smelled just like french toast or pancakes. But the taste was much more subtle cinnamon/ maple. They are delicious. Before Wil's schedule changed back, I would sometimes eat nothing else but these bagels all day. During phase two, I attempted to go on Weight Watchers. That was in November. But I decided I would like to start making Christmas cookies instead. Of course, then I would eat them and have to make more.

Phase Three: In reality, all phases are affected by the return of my depression. I do believe that was the biggest culprit into my weight gain. Some need to fill the emptiness I felt with bagels, cookies and tiny cherry pies. It never works. So I started a new antidepressant and INSTANTLY gained 20 lbs. I kid you not. BAMF! Weight gain. I went on Weight Watchers again and lost 1.4 over five weeks. I gave up. I went off the pills to try without their side effects, but the physical symptoms were too bothersome. I could psych myself out of the mental, but the physical ones were taking their toll. Additionally, Wil and I were eating these delicious Angus Beef Hot Dogs all summer. We ate them regularly for lunch, sometimes for dinner when it was hot. We'd stick them in the toaster over and cook them until they were crispy. Man, they are so good. And big, you had to use a hoagie roll because they were too big for hot dog buns. It wasn't until recently I looked at the fat content. TWENTY FREAKIN' GRAMS OF FAT! And we ate them like candy.

And there you have it. I put off saying anything about it. I am back on Weight Watchers. I wanted to have a bit of success before I blogged about it. The first week I lost 1.2lbs, which was disappointing as the first week is usually your biggest weight loss. The 2nd week I lost another 1.2lbs. But this last weigh-in was a loss of 2.4lbs. Weight Watchers yelled at me for losing more than 2 lbs a week. That felt nice since I know I ate over my points that week. (early birthday dinner.)

I had to bring it up because it is part of addressing that physical spoke on the Wellness Wheel. And because being overweight has a ripple effect across your entire life. So it's bound to show up again, in future blog posts.

Meh.

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-10-12T16:14:24Z

To my Canadian friends and family.

Thanksgiving feels different here. I mean, yes, it's earlier, which feels off. It seems that most of the people I know have their Thanksgiving dinner at any point this weekend. Now, this is just my observation, and may not be correct, but I feel like it may not be quite as big a deal here as it is in the US. Thanksgiving in the States is pretty much the biggest holiday of the year. Plus, it kicks of the Holiday Season in general. So on Friday, the biggest shopping day of the year, you go directly into Christmas Spirit.

Ok, it sounds like I am challenging Canadian Thanksgiving to a Holiday Fight. Correct me if I am wrong about Canadian Thanksgiving. It's just my observation.

Nonetheless it still seems to be a time when families gather and give thanks, and that's what is important. My family came up to celebrate and early birthday dinner with me, Wil and the Stepdot. And I'm so grateful for that.

Lipgloss and Laptops

2009-10-07T19:08:23Z

Airdrie asked me to guest host with her on her health and beauty podcast Lipgloss and Laptops. For the first 143 episodes, L&L was hosted by Airdrie and her best friend Kerry Anne. Recently, Kerry Anne left the podcast to focus on graduate school. So Airdrie has been recruiting guest hosts.

When she first asked me, I said yes instantly, because I thought it would be fun. But also because I was somewhat terrified of sounding like a complete idiot on the interwebs for all the world to hear. I was worried about disappointing Airdrie as well. So I did not even hesitate, I said yes.

Many times in life I am tempted to stay in a safe place and say no to things. It can be hard to get me out of the house. But when I start making excuses for why I can't do something, it's a sure sign I should do it. Horseback riding does not count, those beasts scare the crap out of me in a way that does not inspire to overcome my fear of them, but rather stay far far away.

But I digress. I had a BLAST with Airdrie. As soon as I left her house, however, I came up with a bunch of stuff I should have done differently. A couple of big ones.

Bring the products I am reviewing with me. It's easier to read names off the bottle than on the tiny list I made on my iPhone. Also, smell and texture is important, and should be available for Airdrie to experience as well.
Airdrie and Kerry Anne make it seem so easy., but I imagine that 143 episodes have honed their skills. It sounds like easy conversation. People like me, first timers, should probably sit down and write some bullet points, thoughts on the products. You think it would be easy to discuss whether or not you like something, but "I like it, it's good" is not compelling podcast content.

So when the episode was posted last night, I got butterflies in my stomach. I was sure I sounded like a total a) spaz b) dork c) twelve year old d) all of the above. I think I probably did sound like all of those things, because I am all those things. Well, I'm not 12, but I sound like it. But Wil and I just listened to it together and most of all I think I sound like someone who is having a lot of fun. Which I did.

I hope Airdrie was pleased with the result.

You can hear Episode 145, with me, on the Lipgloss and Laptops website.

Or download it from iTunes.

Random Stuff

2009-10-06T19:53:19Z

I'm just all about joining the blogging games now.

I don't think I've mentioned this, but several months ago, Pru quit using the litter box. She will pee on a puppy pee pad. And, when we are lucky, she poops there as well. My cat is toothless and voids her bowels wherever she wants. It's like having an infant.

I sole this from Delmer. The Telegraph ran a poll, rating men of different nationalities on their skills as lovers.

All the immigration hassle makes sense now, eh? Git it, I said "eh" because I live in Canada now. (Don't worry, American men, it's just a stupid poll. From Europe! It's not your skills as a lover, but rather our foreign policies that are to blame.)

The author of the book I reviewed on Satan's Bookclub, Frank Portman, linked to me, well, SBC, from his blog. I feel all warm and fuzzy.

I am thoroughly enjoying this season of House, as naturally I would. Has anyone checked out Modern Family? It's hilarious.

First review for Satan's Bookclub is up!

2009-10-04T20:22:17Z

My first book review is up at Satan's Bookclub. I've reviewed Frank Portman's YA novel Andromeda Klein, a book I thoroughly enjoyed. But that's not what Satan's Bookclub is about, is it? It's more important to recognize how potentially evil a book is, rather than the quality of story and writing. You becha!

Bit rusty at the reviews. I only published two the first time SBC was up. But I attempted a few more. I'm looking forward to honing my skills.

Dear So and So...

2009-10-02T20:24:09Z

Dear Canada,

Thank you so much for finally expressing an interest in me. I guarantee you will not regret. I can be very very polite. You'll see. Ok, so I don't care that much for hockey, neither does my Canadian husband. You should not hold that against me.

I look forward to working with you,

Jodi

Dear Tiny Cherry Pies,

Yes, I can hear you. Even two blocks away I can hear you calling my name. I'm sorry. I want to date other snacks for a while. Less fattening ones.

You aren't helping,

Jodi

Dear October,

I am so happy to see you! You are my favorite month. You have started out with a bang of good news, I hope we can continue on with that trend. Maybe end 2009 on a happy note. It's been a tough year for some.

Anyhoo, looking forward to my birthday and Halloween,

Jodi

Dear NaNoWriMo,

Last year, I told you we were through. I have not "won" since 2004. I really don't need any more reasons to be disappointed in myself. But you are so seductive! You know me too well. You know my not so secret dream of a being a writer, yet my crippling confusion at how to begin a new book. My love of buying a new NaNoWriMo shirt and donating money so my user name has a halo over it.

I'm giving you, and me, one more chance,

Jodi

Join the So and So fun at Kat's.

A truly thankful Thanksgiving

2009-10-01T22:48:13Z

I just got a call from a nice lady in the immigration offices in Alberta. We'll call her Jane. Because for some reason, I don't want to use her real name. She had some questions that Wil and I need to clear up for her, by writing a short paragraph of explaination and faxing it to her. Easy peasy.

Jane is a very nice lady, I think she liked me. She spent several minutes talking to me about my application and what the next steps will be. She told me to go ahead and fax her an application for a work permit! I was thrilled to hear that because months of unemployment for Wil, and years for me, have taken a toll. Of course, I don't know how helpful it will be in today's economy. I suppose it depends on what I am willing to do. What I am NOT willing to do is phone support. Neither is Wil, for that matter.

To make matters better, I talked to her about traveling across the border and she told me that I could travel across the border as long as Wil was with me. My application came from within Canada because it is a hardship to be away from my husband. He supports me. This fact makes it risky to cross into the states without him. How much of a hardship could it be if I left the country without him. But if I am with him...

This means as soon as we get Wil's passport, we will be able to go to the States. And, as long as any working schedules allow, we can go home for American Thanksgiving. I wouldn't think this would make me cry, but all of the sudden I found myself crying. Wil is not home right now, which is probably for the best, because I am sure he wouldn't know quite what to do with me in this state.

Someone is processing my application! Soon, I may be able to work! I will, most likely be home for Christmas! ( to quote a famous song)

I do not know how long it will take to get my approval letter. (at that point I take it to the local immigration office and apply for my card.) I am just so thrilled to have this news. These steps to take.

Do you like books? Satan does. Pssst... this is my Monday Announcement

2009-09-28T20:44:25Z

I love to read and I do it a lot. I also like to go to readings and book signings, something I used to do more often when I lived in the states.I used to read a lot of book blogs as well. And all of these activities led to creating Satan's Bookclub with Louise. I created it, did a couple of reviews, but I let it slide. I don't remember why. Probably met a boy online or something. wink wink.

In the last few months, I've been thinking about bringing it back. Suddenly, it was a week before Banned Book Week (the original inspiration for the site) and I jumped in and redesigned it.
With the exception of reading books, I feel that I have ignored the intellectual pie piece of my umm... life pie. I'm not learning anything, or using my brain overly much. That is evidenced by my lackluster blogging, for one. Satan's Bookclub will, I hope, renew my deeper interest in books and book news, as well as force me to to think and articulate my opinions on the books I read.
In other words, I am going to exercise my brain. If you are unfamiliar with Satan's Bookclub, you can read it's history and manifesto here. Please stop on by.

Don't talk about the books again. You get all... And sometimes there's drool.

2009-09-26T21:41:00Z

Today marks the beginning of the ALA Banned Book Week. In honor of this, I will have a BIG ANNOUNCEMENT on Monday.

Ok, maybe it's not that BIG, I don't know. It could take off and be cool. Or it could whither and die, you never know with me. I don't want to set you up only to see you disappointed. And, frankly, I don't need the pressure. It would suck if you were expecting AMAZING and what you got was PRETTY COOL, you know?

Let's just say there will be a FAIR SIZED ANNOUNCEMENT on Monday and see how it goes from there, ok?

Good.

Fall back.

2009-09-25T22:35:53Z

I must have slept through the equinox, but I just wanted to say how THRILLED AND DELIGHTED I am that it is autumn.

I figure, with all the complaining I do during summer, I owe you this.

Dear So and So...

2009-09-25T21:25:18Z

Dear uterus,

Stop it. Just stop it. You know what I am talking about.

Annoyed,

Jodi

Dear allergies,

See above letter to uterus.

Mouth Breathing,

Jodi

Dear Sugar Free Chocolate Pudding In My Fridge,

I'm coming to git you!

Salivating,

Jodi

Dear Canada,

I like you. Do you like me? Let's be friends! Please... just let me in.. I promise you won't be sorry.

Living in my home, but not my native land,

Jodi

Dear Thursday Night Season Premieres,

Were you good? Were you exciting? Were you everything I hoped you'd be? I don't know. I can't watch you yet because Wm. is having a PS3 Marathon Party with his buddy visiting from the island. I won't be able to watch you until Sunday.

That goes for you too, Dollhouse.

He's just lucky he didn't do this on Monday,

Jodi

Due to budget cuts we had to sell the plastic skeleton and replace it with this Halloween costume. Also, the class trip to Italy is now "Spaghetti Night" in the school cafeteria, and your $1500 deposit is non refundable. Goodnight!

2009-09-25T20:22:57Z

By far, one of my biggest issues to address is my financial situation. I should say our financial situation. We've both been unemployed for months. We have no idea when I will be able to work and living on one unemployment check is not easy. So not easy that we are not doing it. We are draining our reserves.

I desperately need to acknowledge the difference between necessity and luxury. I'm bad at that. For years I pretty much bought what I wanted, within reason of course. But if I wanted a book, I bought it. If I wanted a dvd, I bought it. If I wanted a trip to the spa, I went.

I very much want a trip to the spa right now. But I am not going. I cannot say I am as careful with books. DAMN YOU KINDLE FOR THE iPHONE! (and bless you. Books on demand wherever I am? This is the future I always dreamt of)

That is not my only problem, however. In addition to watching unnecessary spending, I need to find a way to be smarter about the money we do need to spend. Primarily, I figure, on food. With that in mind...

Does anyone have a good recommendation for a book about budgeting, for someone who is terrible with money? Something simple?

Rolling right along.

2009-09-22T21:10:12Z

I mentioned last week that I had a lot of plans in the works. So many, you'd think I was crazy. But it's all part of one big plan. Well, this is that plan.

The Wellness Wheel.

Ta-da! Google Wellness Wheel and you'll find lots of different descriptions, but it all leads to the same idea: a life of balance. I've seen wheels with different descriptions in their pie pieces, some say "Career" instead of "Intellectual," and some only have 6 slices. For me, I went with the one I saw on my alma mater's website. I prefer the emphasis on my intellect, rather than just my career.

Financial - Accessing the resources and skills that allow you to accomplish your goals

Developing skills to manage resources.
Planning for future needs.
Learning to spend wisely.
Living on a budget.

Spiritual - A positive perception of the meaning and purpose of life.

Participating in spiritual activities, however you define them.
Respecting your individuality and allowing yourself to grow and change.
Being open to different cultures, religions and philosophies.
Reflecting on your life, perhaps spending time to meditate daily.

Emotional - Possession of a secure self-identity and a positive sense of self-regard; also the ability to cope with and/or improve unpleasant mood states.

Keeping a positive attitude.
Being sensitive to your feelings and the feels of others.
Learning to cope with stress. Being realistic about your expectation.
Taking responsibility for your own behavior.
Viewing challenges as opportunities rather than obstacles.

Intellectual - Exploring and developing your intellect.

Exploring what interests you; opening yourself up to new experiences.
Developing active listening skills.
Leaning because want to - not because you are told to.
Learning through varied experiences and media.
Listening; observing what's around you.
Questioning.

Physical - A perception and expectation of physical health.

Exercising regularly; living an active life.
Developing an awareness of your eating and drinking habits and how they impact your health.
Getting regular check-ups.
Eating healthy.

Social - Participating in positive social relationships, including friends, family, community and work groups.

Respecting and honoring diversity; developing and understanding and appreciating differences.
Contributing your time and energy to activities within your community.
Learning to constructively express ideas and opinions.
Developing friendships.
Budgeting and balancing your time to include both responsibilities and relaxation.
Being comfortable with and liking yourself as a person

Environmental - Developing an awareness of the environment that surrounds you, and enhancing your relationship with it.

Finding satisfaction and worth in your working and living environments.
Working to ensure the stability and longevity of our natural resources.
Ensuring that your work environment and relationships are comfortable.
Being aware of your place in the natural environment.

If you picture your life like a wheel, it will only roll along nicely if each of the seven sections are fulfilled equally. Otherwise your get a bumpy ride, right? Clichéd, but true.

I'm hoping that this approach will help bring focus and structure to my life. And my blog. I'm going to be document my efforts to address each section of the wheel in my life. Failures and successes. I will still write the random crap I've always written, don't worry.

Anyway... I have to go focus on my Environment, it's a mess.

Resources:

http://www.vanderbilt.edu/wellnesscenter/WellnessWheel.html

https://www.washington.edu/provost/studentlife/healthandwellness/students/wellnesswheel.html