“In the end, your family tree is a diagram of a thousand choices, all made in your favor.”
Robert Brault

I am so enjoying watching the colors of the leaves on my trees change.

Parenting is hardly an exact science. In fact, it is really the biggest conceivable game of roulette because virtually every decision a parent makes is fraught with uncertainty. The outcome is often unpredictable and we frequently don’t learn the consequences of our choices for many years.

I haven’t written much about the changes that have taken place in my life over the course of the past several months, although all of my friends and many of my colleagues are aware that I bought another home. And that I am living in it with my two sons, but not with my husband. He continues residing, along with our two dogs, Buddy and Sophie, in the home my parents built and in which I was raised.

The change came quickly — I began shopping for a home in June and purchased my current residence in July after it had been on the market just two days. I knew immediately that it was the home I wanted to buy. We moved on Labor Day weekend and have spent the past two months getting settled in.

The change came after many years of dreaming and planning, however.

And that is my confession: I thought I was doing the right thing for my children by continuing to reside with their father. I now realize that I was wrong. I should have taken them with me and established a new home for the three of us many years ago. If I had done so, they would not have had to endure some of the challenges and disappointments that they have experienced. But I felt that I was putting their needs ahead of my own by remaining in the marriage.

I now know that my children were victims of my good intentions. All of the choices I have made since the moment I learned I was carrying each of them have been choices made in their favor, on their behalf, with their very best interests at the forefront of my deliberative process. But they would have been better off had I chosen to be happy myself. I have now seen that much of their happiness flows from my own.

There are as many reasons why marriages do not last as there are marriages, and I have no plan to chronicle private details about the 24 years I spent with their father. What I will say is this: I believe that not everyone is meant to be or should be married, but many of us grew up believing that marriage and children were our inevitable destiny. I do not believe that marriage is conducive to my personality and habits. As I told one friend, “I don’t play well with others when it comes to my house and the way I want it maintained.” I am a very fastidious, orderly, organized person. I can’t stand clutter or chaos. I could never again cohabit with someone who is not as adamant about cleanliness as I am.

I would never presume to speak for or on behalf of BigBob. But I am happier than I have been in . . . oh, about 24 years. My boys tell me that they are much happier now and they certainly appear to be. They are flourishing in their new home with me, while maintaining, on their own terms, their relationships with their father. They bring Sophie over to our new home for what I refer to as “custodial visits,” and see Buddy when they go back to my other house where they still have their rooms.

I don’t believe in regret, so this will likely be the only “confessional” I will write. As time passes, the twinges of guilt are less frequent. The “V-8 moments” when I recall an incident or situation and know now what I didn’t know then, i.e., that it would have been an ideal time to move, are gradually becoming less intrusive and painful. My boys are confident in the fact that both of their parents love them unconditionally, but are flawed beings lacking prescience. And I am confident that all three of us are doing just fine — and will continue to thrive.

The Spin Cycle is a weekly writing exercise hosted by Sprite’s Keeper and Sunday Citar is a weekly writing exercise hosted by Fresh Mommy.

Technorati Tags: Sunday Citar, The Spin Cycle

On the same topic:

• “The Long Good-Bye” — Like All Else — Eventually Ends
• My Life Changed When I Was Adopted
• Sunday Citar
• Sunday Citar: All Saints Day
• The Long Good-Bye

My parents celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary, March 1991.

“All of the places of our lives are sanctuaries; some of them just happen to have steeples. And all of the people in our lives are saints; it is just that some of them have day jobs and most will never have feast days named for them.”

Robert Benson
Between the Dreaming and the Coming True

Sunday Citar is a weekly writing exercise hosted by Fresh Mommy.

Technorati Tags: All Saints Day, Sunday Citar

On the same topic:

• I Have a Confession
• Sunday Citar

Welcome to the Happy Halloween 2009 Edition of the Carnival of Family Life! We have scared up a wonderful collection of family-focused articles for your enjoyment!

Family Cooking & Recipes

Cyndi presents Grilled vegetables with chipotle-lime sauce posted at Real Food Fast!.

Make it from Scratch presents Pumpkin Pie from a Pumpkin posted at Make It From Scratch.

Cyndi presents The very best brownies in the world posted at Real Food Fast!.

Lucynda Riley presents Chocolate Dipped Apples posted at Chocolate-Execution.

Cyndi presents Apple cake posted at Real Food Fast!.

Make it from Scratch presents Crunchy Chicken Taco Salad posted at Make It From Scratch.

Marjorie presents What’s in Season? posted at Laurel on Health Food. Marjorie believes that “one of the best things about cooking and eating in-season foods is they taste better and they’re at their peak levels of nutrition and freshness. Eating seasonally means you can eat locally (supporting farmers and community-supported agriculture) — your food travels shorter distances from the fields to your plate.”

Family Crafts & Activities

Clare Wood presents Kids Dracula Costume Ideas posted at Dracula Costume.

Mary Ward presents Frankenstein Costume Makeup Ideas posted at Frankenstein Costume.

Dan presents Indulging Your Kids’ Love of Insects, Dinosaurs or Whatever posted at My Dad Blog. Dan writes, “With a child obsessed with insects, we figured we’d indulge his love of critters this summer with various activities and trips – he may not be this enthusiastic about nature forever, so we’re living in the moment!”

Make it from Scratch presents Team Treat Bags posted at Make It From Scratch.

Darcy presents My Pretty Letter Tray posted at Smart-Bottom Enterprises.

mom & dad presents Kids’ Halloween Costume Ideas posted at raising4boys.com.

Rachel Miller presents Amazing Air: Suction/Blowing Activities posted at quirkymomma.com.

Party Games For Girls presents Mystery Party Games posted at Party Games For Girls.

Rachel Miller presents declutter challenge posted at quirkymomma.com.

Education

Tracy Beach presents Win $1,000! Enter the DreamBox “Dream Big” Video Contest posted at Dreambox Learning.

Family Humor

Madeleine Begun Kane presents Happy Birthday To Me posted at Mad Kane’s Humor Blog.

Csara presents From Where I Stand posted at Baby Talkers, offering thoughts from the mind of a one-year-old.

jose louwes presents Fishing posted at The Orestiada Times.

jose louwes presents Secondary School posted at The Orestiada Times.

driechm presents Be Consistent with Child Discipline or Be in the Doghouse! posted at Engaged Marriage, a true story about a bit of miscommunication between the author and his during a camping trip.

Gerald Godinho presents Enjoy Each Other’s Differences posted at The Godinho Blogs.

Jennifer Reed presents Odd Behavior in the Home posted at Reed What Matters. “Some very strange things have been going on in the Reed home these last few days,” Jennifer writes. “A few of the children cleaned up without being told, and not just once!” Imagine!

AmyL presents 3 Things Every Parent Should Teach Their Kids posted at Earnest Parenting.

A.F. Heart presents Mystery Family Tree – Debut posted at Mysteries and My Musings.

Family Finance

Banker Saver presents Sneaky Bank Fees: How To Avoid Those Extra Charges posted at Banker Saver.

Jim presents 2010 Federal Income Tax Brackets (Estimated) posted at Bargaineering.

Manshu presents Bing cashback posted at OneMint. Learn how to earn cash back while shopping using Bing.

Maria presents Toys and Christmas Lay-by. posted at rusticfuture.com.au.

Jim presents Stay At Home or Pay for Daycare? posted at Bargaineering.

Super Saver presents Cost of Raising a Child posted at My Wealth Builder.

Manshu presents Retirement planning calculator facts and Retirement Planning Calculator: Some more thoughts posted at OneMint.

Family Health and Wellness

Mommy’s Life presents Back Pack Drama posted at Mommy’s Life.

Erin presents Anxiety in children posted at School Psychologist Blog Files.

Aparna presents Clean your tongue to avoid bad breath posted at Beauty and Personality Grooming. “The tongue is a haven for bacteria to breed, multiply and attach to teeth and gums,” according to Aparna, “so tongue cleaning is just as important as hand washing to prevent colds, flu, and other ailments.”

Kristia presents A Women’s Health Checklist for Turning 40 posted at Family Balance Sheet.

Aparna presents Skin care tip: Wash your face thoroughly before you exercise posted at Beauty and Personality Grooming. Did you know that it’s far more important to cleanse your face thoroughly before a workout than after?

Parenting Tips & Advice

Kevin Heath presents Parenting and Helping Our Kids be Self-Sufficient posted at More4kids.

Kiera presents Pre Weaning Food posted at Baby Book Of Weaning.

Becca Glouzstein presents Girls and Their Body Image posted at Inspiration for Mothers.

Sonja Stewart presents Oh NO! Not MY Kid posted at Parenting Squad.

Jacquelyn presents Help Your Child to do Well in School posted at Wise Parenting Guide.

NtJS presents The Big Birthday Lesson: A new tradition posted at Not the Jet Set. The author has devised a way to make kids’ birthdays special and educational.

Case Ernsting presents How To Protect Your Infant, Toddler and Child with an Easy Home Safety Checklist posted at Home and Decor, offering some tips on protecting newborns and toddlers at home.

Linda presents Family Life posted at Simply Living Modestly.

Family Pets

GP presents Simply Sundays posted at Manely Montana.

The Pet Chatter presents It’s a toxic world, especially for our pets. posted at Pet Chatter.

Family Relationships & Self-Improvement

Rick Schiano presents Let Go posted at Tasting Victory.

Family Travel

HCF presents Three Essential Camping Safety Tips for Families posted at Hike Camp Fish.

Katie Sorene presents 15 Most Magical Places in the World posted at Tripbase.

Gregory Cupp presents Green Bluff Apple Festival posted at Pit Stops for Kids.

Thank you for participating in and supporting this Edition of the Carnival!

To submit a post for the Thankfulness Edition, click here! Submissions must be received by Wednesday, November 24, 2009, at 11:00 p.m. Pacific Time. Priority will be given to posts emphasizing thanks, thankfulness, and the blessings associated with family. Be sure to include both the permalink to and relevant information about your entry. Should you have questions, the Carnival guidelines can be reviewed by clicking here.

Technorati Tags: Blog Carnival, Carnival of Family Life

On the same topic:

• “The Long Good-Bye” — Like All Else — Eventually Ends
• A Little Spice
• All Women Blogging Carnival
• Blog Your Blessings Sunday & The Carnival of Family Life
• Carnival of Family Life

This week’s meme comes from Apryl at Meridian Ariel.

1. What is your favorite written work of horror fiction?

I am not a big fan of horror fiction, but my favorite would probably have to be The Other by Thomas Tryon. I remember reading it when it was first published and it enthralling.

2. What is your favorite work of science fiction/fantasy?

The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I still watch it every year — I do The Time Warp, much to my kids’ chagrin. Sadly, they don’t relate.

3. Who is your favorite monster?

Tim Curry as Dr. Frank-N-Furter.

4. What is your favorite Horror movie?

I don’t watch horror movies.

5. What horror movie gives you the most chills?

As noted, I don’t watch horror movies.

6. What character from any horror film would you most like to play?

I would love to be either Morticia from The Addams Family or Lily from The Munsters.

7. Freddy or Jason?

Neither.

8. What is your favorite Halloween treat?

Peanut butter Rice Krispie treats.

9. Ghosts or goblins?

Ghosts.

10. Friendly-faced jack-o’-lantern or scary one?

Friendly.

11. What is your scariest encounter with the paranormal?

I have had a few and I definitely believe that there are both good and evil forces. Without going into a lot of detail, I will say that I have encountered, squared off with, and, with assistance from a divine spirit, prevailed against evil. In particular, I fought one legal battle that was indisputably a war between good and evil.

12. Do you believe in ghosts? Why or why not?

I believe that when people die, they transition to a different realm. I do not believe in “ghosts” per se, but I do believe that there is a spiritual dimension to our lives and have had the sense many times of still being connected to people who have died.

13. Would you rather be a zombie, alien, or psycho?

I would prefer to be an alien and see what life on another planet is like.

14. Favorite Halloween costume?

My kids had a lot of cute costumes over the years, so it is hard to pick just one, but I thought #1Son was an adorable spider:

MattieBoo had the right attitude as Obama last year:

15. Best thing about Halloween?

I love to decorate my house and pass out the trick-or-treat candy because I really enjoy seeing all the little kids in their costumes and watching their eyes light up when they get more treats. I always looked forward to picking out my boys’ costumes and taking them trick-or-treating when they were young.

16. Person in your family who most likes Halloween (not counting yourself)?

I think both boys like it about as much as I do.

17. Are you superstitious?

No.

18. Share an unusual Halloween story.

MattieBoo was born on November 16, so I was pregnant on Halloween. I could not take #1Son trick-or-treating because my ankles were so swollen I had to keep my feet elevated as much as possible. We made the usual stops at my mother-in-law and parents’ houses before heading to my sister’s neighborhood. #1Son went trick-or-treating with his cousins, as usual, but I had to stay at her house with my feet up. I was disappointed! I was in law school, commuting to Sacramento at three to four times per week, and working as a law clerk for a firm in Modesto on the days I did not have class. All that time in the car eventually got to be too much and I had to quit my job earlier than planned. I recall telling my boss, “I’m pregnant, I’m swollen, I’m through.”

19. What did you do for Halloween as a kid?

We always went trick-or-treating in our neighborhood, but our parents never went with us. They stayed home and passed out candy to the other kids.

20. What’s the best Halloween party that you’ve attended?

I recall one in the late 1970’s that started on Saturday night at the movie theater seeing The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but didn’t end until Monday morning. It was a blast.

Click here to see the list of other participants, visit their sites, and read their responses.

Technorati Tags: Sunday Stealing

On the same topic:

• An Exercise for Writers: The Meme About Blogging
• Sunday Stealing: The Third Meme About Blogging
• Sunday Stealing: A High School Meme
• Sunday Stealing: All About Me Meme
• Sunday Stealing: Finish This Sentence Meme

Lynette Kraft at Dancing Barefoot on Weathered Ground is hosting a Harvest of Friends Blog Party, an opportunity to get acquainted with bloggers whose sites you may never have visited before or get to know familiar bloggers better.

If you have not visited Colloquium before, you can read a bit about me here. Additionally, Lynette has asked that participants answer a few questions about themselves, so here are my responses.

1. What is your favorite thing to snack on while you’re blogging?

Nothing. If I am working at my desktop computer, I am not eating because the only thing I allow out of the kitchen/dining area of the new house is water. If I’m working on my laptop on the table in the family room, I might be drinking a white mocha or cup of coffee with a bagel or waffle.

2. What is one thing you wouldn’t want to live without?

Other than my children? Music.

3. Beach, Mountains or Farm? Where would you live if you had a choice?

Beach. Always.

4. What’s your least favorite chore/household duty?

The one I accomplished this afternoon and don’t have to do for another week: Grocery shopping. I hate shopping..

5. Who do people say you remind them of?

No one.

6. Prefer parties and socializing or staying at home with the fam?

I need a healthy blend of each. I love to be with people and have a good time, but it is very apparent when I’m through. I need to get back home and become re-energized.

7. What’s your all time favorite movie?

That’s impossible to answer. There are simply too many that I love and can watch repeatedly, depending on my mood.

8. Do you sleep in your make up or remove it like a good girl every night?

What make up?

9. Do you have a hidden talent or a deep desire to learn something that you’ve never had a chance to learn? What is it?

There are several more musical instruments that I plan to learn to play. After I return from New York City in late April, I plan to buy a new clarinet and resume playing. But right now I’m focused on my flute and piccolo, as well as the piano piece I will be playing at Carnegie Hall on April 20, 2010.

10. What’s one strange thing you’re really good at?

I can do some imitations, including the Wicked Witch of the West and a couple of the Munchkins from The Wizard of Oz.

11. What is something you love to smell?

Vanilla.

12. Tell something about you that you know irritates people.

My sense of direction irritates my oldest child because he has none.

13. When you have extra money (HA!) what’s the first thing you think to do with it?

Consult with my financial planner to determine if I have money to retire.

14. Are you a silent laugher or a loud laugher? What makes you laugh the hardest?

Depends. I tend to laugh out loud, unless i’m in a place where I can’t. My boys cracks me up most often, especially MattieBoo.

15. Where is your favorite place to shop?

Online. I hate to shop.

16. What’s one thing you’d do more often if you had more time?

Hang out at the beach, preferably Pismo Beach.

17. Are you a big spender or frugal?

I’m definitely frugal, but not cheap. I like to buy quality items and then take good care of them so that they last.

18. Who is your favorite character of all time (from a movie or book)? (Can’t be real)

Regular readers already know the answer to that question: Tony Soprano!

19. Would you want to be famous?

I have had extensive experience with the media and can say unequivocally and confidently that nothing good comes of dealing with those folks. We live in a soundbyte society where people clamor for their 15 minutes of fame. I’ve had more than 15 minutes’ worth and am happy to let someone else be in the spotlight while I remain peacefully anonymous.

Technorati Tags: Harvest of Friends Blog Party

I love the colors that the leaves on my white birch trees on the corner are turning.

Technorati Tags: Wordless Wednesday

On the same topic:

• (Not So) Wordless Wednesday: Brushes — and Near Brushes — with Greatness
• Wordless Wednesday
• Wordless Wednesday
• Wordless Wednesday
• Wordless Wednesday

This week’s meme comes from Maggie at Mind of a Woman. She found it at Loralee’s Looney Tunes.

A – Advocate for: Civil rights / equality.

B – Best Feature: My smile.

C – Could do without: Politics in any form.

D – Dreams and desires: At this point, I’m pretty content, so my desire is to remain happy for the long-term.

E – Essential items: My flute and piano.

F – Favorite past time: These days, I’m enjoying spending time at home in my new house.

G – Good at: Making my kids know that they are loved unconditionally and unendingly. Even when I’m not a perfect mother, they never, ever doubt that I am their more zealous advocate and defender.

H – Have never tried: Bungee jumping. Never will.

I – If I had a million dollars: My life would not change much, but I would be able to pay my boys’ tuition and other expenses at any colleges they select. I would also buy a baby grand piano for my living, as well as some new furniture for the house.

J – Junkie for: White mochas.

K – Kindred spirit: I’m lucky to have several.

L – Little known fact: Both of my marriages started out as blind dates.

M – Memorable moment: Arguing a high-profile case before the California Supreme Court. The courtroom was packed with media representatives, including artists whose sketches appeared on the newscasts. A once-in-a-lifetime career high that will never be replicated.

N – Never again will I: Get married.

O – Occasional indulgence: Peanut butter.

P – Profession: Lawyer.

Q – Quote: “I could not at any age be content to take my place in a corner by the fireside and simply look on.” Eleanor Roosevelt

R – Reason to smile: Many. I’m a very lucky, blessed person. But the two biggest reasons are:

S – Sorry about: My intolerance for certain behaviors.

T – Things you are worrying about right now: My good friend’s 87-year-old mother was taken to the hospital today, so I am thinking about her entire family. They have reached the point where decisions will have to be made and changes are inevitable. It’s a difficult time for them.

U – Uninterested in: Most professional sports.

V – Very scared of: Further retinal problems.

W – Worst habits: Swearing, being impatient.

Y – Yummiest dessert: Honey Treat nonfat Fudgesicle yogurt.

X – X marks my ideal vacation spot: Hawaii.

Z – Zodiac sign: Sagittarius.

Click here to see the list of other participants, visit their sites, and read their responses.

Technorati Tags: Sunday Stealing

On the same topic:

• An Exercise for Writers: The Meme About Blogging
• Sunday Stealing: The Third Meme About Blogging
• Sunday Stealing: A High School Meme
• Sunday Stealing: All About Me Meme
• Sunday Stealing: Finish This Sentence Meme

1. When you were young, what did you want to be when you grew up?

I used to tell my mother that when I grew up I was going to be “rich and famous,” and buy her a mansion. I wanted to be a professional musician and began college as a music and theater major. For many reasons, not the least of which was pressure from my parents to pick a major that would lead me to a financially secure job, I segued into the Business Administration Department. Initially, I pursued a major in Marketing, but eventually earned a Bachelor of Science in Accounting.

I never stopped making music, though. I put myself through law school, in large part, by playing organ and piano professionally, serving as the Organist/Pianist/Choir Accompanist for a large Lutheran congregation. In 2004, I purchased my first flute and fulfilled my lifelong dream of being a flutist. That culminated in my performing with The Delta Winds at Carnegie Hall in New York City in March 2007, and am currently preparing to return to Carnegie Hall with that group. We will be performing on April 20, 2010 and this time, I will not only be playing the flute, I will also be playing the piano!

I am living proof that dreams come true and there is no need to ever give up entirely on a dream. Just because I did not end up earning my daily bread as a professional musician does not mean that I have to ever stop making music! And there can still be “mountain top” experiences, like playing Carnegie Hall, along the way that are exciting, fulfilling, and memorable.

2. Did you ever pursue that career?

When I began studying music at the local community college, I was discouraged by one teacher in particular who was temperamental, hot-headed, and demeaning. Music Theory was the class that derailed my professional ambitions because I had never really learned theory. I studied piano for many years with William Pisani, a local legend, who taught me to sight-read like a house afire, accompany groups and individuals with confidence, and love to perform. But he did not teach me music theory and I got so flustered and frustrated that, along with the pressure from my parents to find another major, I gave up on the idea of earning a degree in music.

3. If you are not in that field, what changed?

Going to law school had always been an idea I flirted with and rejected. I was fascinated by the law and lawyers, but did not think seriously about law school until I began taking business classes. Business Law was my favorite course and I ended up working for my teacher as a tutor and reader. He encouraged me to go to law school, but it took me a number of years to convince myself. By a few weeks into the first semester, I wondered why it took me so long to realize that was precisely where I belonged.

4. What is your current job?

I am an attorney, practicing employment law.

5. What’s the best part of what you do?

I learn many new things every day, sometimes about the law, sometimes about human nature, sometimes about the industry in which I am employed. I am never bored. My work is fast-paced, deadline-driven, and involves real people’s lives and the consequences that their choices make for them. It’s fascinating.

6. Do you have plans to do something else down the road?

No.

7. How did you get your present job? If you are a stay at home mom, how long did you need to plan that move?

After seven years in private practice, I transitioned to the public sector. I spent another seven years with the largest state-run civil rights enforcement agency in the United States before being recruited to join a different state-run department. It was the one department for which I always swore I would never work, so I jokingly tell folks that I am “the Sean Connery of state government — ‘never say never.’” For the first five months, I was miserable, convinced that I had made a colossal mistake. I hated everything about my work, the location/environment, and the people with whom I was required to interact, but one of my superiors recognized that my talents were being wasted and transferred me to another team of attorneys. Since then, I have been completely content.

8. Did your parents influence your choices of jobs over the years?

They influenced my educational pursuits by pressuring me to select a college major that would lead to secure, Depression-proof employment. They could not help themselves . . . they survived the Great Depression and were forever motivated by their internal fears of financial insolvency.

9. What advice would you give your children on careers?

I encourage my boys to pursue making a living by doing something they love to do. I tell them that they will never be happy just “making a living.” They must have a passion for the work in order to really succeed. I know from experience that you can be completely competent in a particular profession, but thoroughly unhappy and unfulfilled. I was a very good accountant. I could have stayed in that profession, made a comfortable living, and, by all external standards, been deemed a great success. But I would have always been dissatisfied and restless because I had no passion for the subject matter or the work itself. I never want to see my children end up in that circumstance.

Technorati Tags: Saturday Nine

On the same topic:

• Saturday Nine: Holiday Cheer
• Saturday Nine: Letting the Sparks Fly
• Saturday Nine: Your Bestest Day
• Saturday Nine: ‘Tis the Season
• Saturday Nine: Dying to Know

1. Has a relationship been effected by how one of you slept?

Very much so.

2. What side of the bed do you sleep on?

Whichever side I want to sleep on. I spend at least part of the night right in the middle.

3. Do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

I’m definitely a side sleeper.

4. Describe the bedding on your bed right now. How does it change with the seasons? Are you particular about your pillows or linens?

This is a perfect opportunity for me to share photos of my beautiful new waterbed!

When I first looked at this house, I immediately knew that I had to decorate the green master bedroom with pink rose accents. That’s because I wanted to utilize my parents’ lamp (on the nightstand), purchased in the late 1960’s or early 1970’s.  They had two identical lamps, one on each of their nightstands. When my sister and I divided up their belongings, we each kept one.  I wanted a retro look in the room that would tie in with the lamp.

When I found the bedspread, I knew it was perfect.

One of my very dear, long-time friends is an interior design expert. When he came over to see my new house, I had not yet put the bedspread on the bed, so I said, “Hey, let’s get my new bedspread out of the plastic bag, put it on my new bed, and see how it looks.” At first, he made fun of me, telling me that it looked like his “grandma’s drapes.” But after he evaluated the whole look of the room, he gave it his seal of approval!

This is my view from the bed:

I have a private deck off my master bedroom, complete with a hot tub, hence the fence separating the area from the remainder of the back yard.  There are lights placed strategically in the flowerbeds throughout the front and back yards.  At night, the yards look really beautiful and peaceful.

5. When sleeping with someone, do you hog the bed, steal covers, or snore?

I don’t sleep with anyone unless one of my boys happens to join me in my room to watch some television and I doze off before the program is over.

6. What do you wear to bed? If it varies, explain.

None of your business!

7. No matter how much you love someone, would you rather sleep alone?

Absolutely.

8. Tell us about a time when you awoke in bed, saw the person next to you and thought, “Oh, no . . . “

I woke up wondering why I was so cold. Then I realized I was not just cold, but wet and cold. I was lying on my left side, so I reached around with my right hand and felt little Mattie-Boo all snuggled up right next to me. He was wearing two pairs of Pull-Ups, happily sucking away on his pacifier. He had decided to crawl in with me during the night. That kid could literally go all day without using the bathroom, but make up for his daytime self-control during the night as he slept. So I had to wake him up, change both of us, and remake the bed. He cried and said, “I sorry, Mama” through his pacifier, which made me cry. But he felt better when I let him help me take the bedding to the washer and assured him that I wasn’t upset or angry with him. Hearing us moving about the house, #1Son woke up and joined in the fun, assuring MattieBoo that the same thing had happened to him more than once (it hadn’t). We all climbed into the freshly-made waterbed, snuggled up, and the remainder of the night was restful.

9. Tell us about a time when you awoke thinking it was a different day than it was.

I can’t remember ever doing that, but when I was a kid and we were en route to South Dakota to visit relatives, we stayed overnight at a motel in Rock Springs, Wyoming. My father woke us up and made us get dressed so that we could get an early start. It was dark outside and I remember my mother saying, “I’m still tired. I feel like I just went to bed and have hardly slept at all.” But we complied and were just about ready to walk out of the motel room and climb into the backseat of the 1957 Chevy when my mother looked at the clock. My father had misread it! He thought it was 3:30 a.m., but it was only 12:30. Since we hadn’t gone to bed until about 9:30 or so, she was justified in still feeling tired! So we put our jammies back on, crawled into our beds, and he let us sleep until about 5:30 before waking us up again to resume the long drive.

Click here to see the list of other participants and links to their sites where you can read their responses.

Technorati Tags: Saturday Nine

On the same topic:

• Saturday Nine: Holiday Cheer
• Saturday Nine: Letting the Sparks Fly
• Saturday Nine: Your Bestest Day
• Saturday Nine: ‘Tis the Season
• Saturday Nine: Dying to Know

At long last, summer is predicted to yield to autumn tomorrow here in Northern California. And finally, after moving and striving to settle into our new home, I have had time to peruse the more than 200 posts submitted to and compile this “Fall Into Fall” Edition of the Carnival of Family Life!

I thank everyone who is participating in this Edition either by contributing their post(s) or reading the wonderful submissions received!

I also thank you for your patience! Moving turned out to be much more work and far more tiring that I anticipated or remembered. But well worth the time, effort, and expense. We absolutely love our new home and are enjoying our first glimpses of the changing season as the colors in our beautiful yard slowly transform into golds, oranges, and browns.

Family Cooking & Recipes

James Ward presents Hot Holiday food posted at Family Meals Made Easy, featuring exotic recipes and new summer tastes.

Marjorie presents Make-Your-Own Granola posted at Laurel on Health Food. Make a big batch and have a delicious snack ready for your family sans artificial ingredients, chemicals, and preservatives.

Make it from Scratch presents Fun Fruity Drinks posted at Make It From Scratch.

Mr Salsa presents A Great Tomato Mango Salsa Recipe posted at Salsa Recipes For You.

Family Crafts & Activities

The Family presents At the beach posted at Once Upon a Family, illustrating that family members can pursue individual interests and still spend time together.

presents Mom Birthday Cards Printable posted at Home Life Weekly.

Dolfin presents WFMW – Paper Dolls posted at Lionden Landing, describing how energetic preschoolers can play with and enjoy paper dolls for many hours.

Make it from Scratch presents Homemade Edible Jewelry posted at Make It From Scratch.

Vera Lang presents Starbucks Coffee Cup Cozy ~ Easy Craft For The Beach posted at Fine Craft Guild .com, a craft idea that is “feminine, useful, ecofriendly, and makes a fabulous personalized gift adapted to any theme or season.” Features a free tutorial, tips and personalization ideas.

PT presents The Munny Journey Keepsake Journal posted at Prime Time Money, a Munny Journey Keepsake Journal.

Gin G. presents Keep a History posted at Sense Scribe.

Elle Kaye presents Free Kids’ Party Games posted at KiddingAbout.

Lisapresents Getting Creative with Toddlers! posted at KiddingAbout.

Adam presents Playdough Games posted at Natural Parenting Tips.

Savannah Garcia presents Memo Board posted at Fancy Vintage.

Make it from Scratch presents Make Your Own Treasure Hunt posted at Make it From Scratch.

presents Pumpkin Templates for Halloween posted at Home Life Weekly, free templates for Halloween pumpkin carving.

Education

Martha Jackson presents Top 50 Online Education Blogs posted at The .Edu Toolbox.

Mark Montgomery presents Five Essential Tips for a Perfect College Essay posted at Great College Advice. “It’s never too early to think about college essays,” per Mark.

Meaghan Montrose presents Back to School Tips to be Successful in Class posted at Tutor Fi.

Gary Andrew presents 10 Tips to Improve Your Memory posted at Best Online Graduate Degree.

Tom DeRosa presents I Want to Teach Forever: Parent & Student Guide to Getting the Teachers and Classes You Deserve posted at I Want to Teach Forever, offering an insider’s perspective.

Miss Bankrupt presents Analysis of Kindergarten School Supplies posted at Miss Bankrupt.

Family Humor

Puna Miller presents Happy Birthday to Me posted at Life Signatures.

Scott presents The Wave of Discipline posted at Scott.

Angelawd presents I’m hoping no one noticed anything odd posted at angelawd, asking how one can “act normally at a garden party when a mosquito bites your private parts?”

Janette presents My Mom Is Cool; Top Gun Cool posted at World’s Strongest Librarian.

Suburban Wife presents Marriage Humor, Newlywed Fights posted at Suburban Wife Life.

Cher presents Mall Shopping 101 posted at TheOnlyGirl.com about how Cher is “training my husband and sons to be shoppers.”

Amanda CMJ presents Three Things You Should Know About Where You Are Moving Before You Move posted at Extra (Hour)dinary Parenting.

HA Guy presents How To Handle Moving In Together – Part 2: The Bathroom posted at Humorous Advice, describing what a guy should expect when sharing a bathroom with his female significant other.

Family Finance

Barry presents Does it Make Sense to Use Home Equity to Invest? posted at Associate Money.

Jim presents FICO Risk Factor Reason Codes posted at Bargaineering.

DR presents List of Free Prepaid Credit Cards posted at The Dough Roller.

Kevin Heath presents 25 Places that Kids Eat Free posted at More4kids.

DR presents Are Student Credit Cards Evil? posted at The Dough Roller.

Finance Tips 101 presents 7 Easy Tips To Help Save Money At The Grocery Store posted at Finance Tips 101.

Jim presents Canceling A Credit Card posted at Bargaineering.

Finance Tips 101 presents 5 Simple Tips To Help You Save Money posted at Finance Tips 101.

Condo Blues presents 10 Ways for College Students to Go Green on the Cheap posted at Condo Blues.

Jim presents How to Compare 0% Balance Transfer Offers posted at Bargaineering.

Barry presents Retirement Planning: Can You Make Do With Less? posted at Associate Money.

Doug Boude presents Buying a New Home is Easy! posted at Doug Boude.

nickel presents Preserving the Harvest posted at fivecentnickel.com.

JT presents How To Consolidate Debt: Ways To Reduce Your Debt Load posted at The Smarter Wallet.

Madison presents Ohio 529 College Advantage $25 – $100 Bonus posted at My Dollar Plan, describing an opportunity to get some free money for college with the Ohio 529, one of the highest rated 529 plans.

Finance Tips 101 presents Pocket Some Hard Earned Cash By Saving On The Electric Bill posted at Finance Tips 101.

Dan at Everydayfinance presents Child Costs 2008-2009: $221,000 thru 17 (Before College Costs!) posted at Everyday Finance, an analysis of a recent government report outlining the current cost of raising a child.

Finance Tips 101 presents Credit Card Company Tricks and Traps Every Consumer Should Know posted at Finance Tips 101.

Family Health and Wellness

Neena presents Healthy Lunches posted at A Mom’s Life at NeenMachine.com, providing 40 healthy lunch ideas to help “jump-start the school year.”

Helene Zemel presents Urge Your Representatives & Senators to support a Single Payer Health Care System posted at Health Plans Plus. In Helene’s opinion, our healthcare system is “badly broken; the best solution might be to replace it with something completely different. Only a single payer system would provide healthcare coverage for all. This system, also called Medicare for all, would offer cost savings not found in any other system.”

Aparna presents Bhramari Pranayam posted at Beauty & Personality Grooming, a discussion of the yoga breathing system that “improves concentration, relieves migraine pains, reduces stress and hypertension, and combats and prevents disease.”

Joel Frieders presents High Risk OB Visit – August 13th, 2009 posted at HavingTwinsNow.com, “a light-hearted view of a stressful test commonly conducted during the 13th week of pregnancy.”

Aparna presents Beauty & Personality Grooming: General tips for positive health from Ayurveda posted at Beauty & Personality Grooming. “Sound health is the basis for happiness,” Aparna writes. “These tips assure you good health, the fountain of happiness.”

Jacquelyn presents Swine Flu Precautions posted at WParent.com – Wise Parenting Guide.

Parenting Tips & Advice

ahuli presents Home Organizing Rules posted at Home Sweet Home, describing a great method with which to teach kids to keep the home tidy.

Sheila Huggins presents I Need a Babysitter posted at Finding a Babysitter Made Easy.

Christina Crowe presents 6 Steps to Avoid Child Rage posted at Salad Sticks, offering a method to avoid arguments with your child.

Gin G. presents Developing Inner Strength in Children posted at Leaving Lifetime Influence.

Dan presents What are Those Kids Texting? A Parents’ Guide posted at My Dad Blog, decoding the symbols and acronyms kids are typing/texting to each other.

Sonja Stewart presents The Art of War: How Arguing in Front of Your Kids Can Benefit Them posted at Parenting Squad.

Melissa Hedding presents Good Fences Make Good Neighbors posted at Finds For Families.

Barbara Long presents Some Thoughts on Potty Training posted at Front Street Playschool.

Becca Glouzstein presents How to Strengthen Your Kids in the Face of Difficulties posted at Inspiration for Mothers.

Joe E. presents Should We Punish Children for Not Finishing Their Dinner? posted at Promote Health. Like so many folks, “I grew up in a family where children could not leave the dinner table until the food on our plates was gone,” Joe writes. “But is that really the best way to raise kids?”

Emma presents Defending your parenting choices. posted at Baby-Log.

Autumn Beck presents Pocket Cloth Diapers, Love Story? posted at All About Cloth Diapers, explaining how “pocket cloth diapers were the perfect solution for my 15-month-old son’s nighttime needs. My pocket cloth diaper love story continued for many years.”

Toni presents Our Birth Story posted at Wifely Steps.

Gin G. presents Internet Safety Tips for Children posted at Web Wise n Oh So Savvy.

Family Pets

Jason Small presents No Radar in PA posted at New Pennasota.

Jake presents How to Play With Your Dog posted at Dog Training Pet.

marjorie presents Stewart the dog posted at Green Thinking Blog, describing Stewart’s first eco-friendly, organic dog bone (complete with squeakers).

Amir Marzouq presents How Eco-friendly is Your Dog? posted at Guffly.

Family Relationships & Self-Improvement

BeThisWay presents Vacation Ends, You Can Find Me Left of Center posted at Are You Going To Be This Way The Rest of The Time I Know You?

Sharon presents Mom – We will Remember You posted at Psychic Cottage, a loving tribute to her mother on the tenth anniversary of her death.

Tiffany Herr presents The Perfection of Ungracefulness posted at It All Means Something.

Toni presents A Grandfather’s Love posted at Wifely Steps. A grandfather shows his love for his soon-to-arrive grandson in his own little ways.

Dazza presents A Wedding for the Cynics posted at A Life That’s Ordinary, explaining how he engaged in a “little self-discovery at a wedding.”

Rick Schiano presents You Didn’t Marry Your Kids posted at Rick’s Victory Blog.

OPTED Magazine presents Clutter of a spouse: how to deal with it posted at OPTED Magazine. Good luck with that!

TherapyDoc presents The D Word posted at Everyone Needs Therapy.

Taylor Coburn presents The 7 Areas of Life posted at Motivia. “When it comes to relationships, it is worth remembering that all areas of our life are interconnected,” Taylor writes. “Shifts in one area can have a profound impact on what we experience in other areas of our life.”

Elisha Webster Emerson presents B.F.F. — Or At Least Until You’re Lame posted at My Inconvenient Body. “Make new friends, but keep the old? Easier said than done,” says this author.

Whitney McKim presents Individually Collective Blogging: You should lie to your spouse to save your marriage? posted at My New Chimerical Kit, asking, “Does a successful marriage require lying?” Whitney offers “a new twist on the theory that honesty is always the best policy.”

ahuli presents 5 Tips For Balancing Work And Home posted at Home Sweet Home.

Savannah Garcia presents Looking Back . . . posted at Fancy Vintage.

Family Travel

DR presents 5 Travel Rewards Credit Cards Perfect for Family Trips posted at The Dough Roller.

presents Our Thrifty Wedding Anniversary: Harrogate Turkish Baths posted at Miss Thrifty.

Abel Cheng presents On the Road with Kids – Seven Useful Tips posted at Parent Wonder.

Kevin Poulis presents CedarPoint.com – America’s Rockin’ Rollercoast posted at SiteTally.com.

Amy presents Imagine It! Children Museum with Kids posted at Atlanta With Kid Travel Blog.

Amy presents Just Imagine if We Are in Legoland posted at The Q Family Adventures Travel Blog.

e-Mom presents Top Museum for Christian Families posted at Chrysalis, a video exploration of the controversial Creation Museum in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Again, thank you for participating in and supporting this Edition of the Carnival!

To submit a post for the October 5, 2009, Edition, click here! Submissions must be received by Sunday, October 4 2009, at 4:00 p.m. Pacific Time. Be sure to include both the permalink to and relevant information about your entry. Should you have questions, the Carnival guidelines can be reviewed by clicking here.

Technorati Tags: Blog Carnival, Carnival of Family Life

On the same topic:

• “The Long Good-Bye” — Like All Else — Eventually Ends
• A Little Spice
• All Women Blogging Carnival
• Blog Your Blessings Sunday & The Carnival of Family Life
• Carnival of Family Life