J Chris Newberg's Blog - Some Other Sucker's Parade

WORST GIRL EVER! - J Chris Newberg with Marisa Bella

2012-02-07T16:43:00.000-08:00

Three and Three with J. Chris Newberg - Featuring Kelly Frye

2012-02-07T13:51:00.000-08:00

The Premise of All Love Songs - J Chris Newberg

2012-02-03T18:51:00.001-08:00

The Premise of All Love Songs - J Chris Newberg

2012-02-03T18:51:00.000-08:00

Sh*t Haters Say to Entertainers On Twitter - J Chris Newberg

2012-01-23T14:23:00.001-08:00

Sh*t Haters Say to Entertainers On Twitter - J Chris Newberg

2012-01-23T14:23:00.000-08:00

One Man Mobbed Episode - J Chris Newberg

2012-01-16T19:52:00.000-08:00

Three and Three with J. Chris Newberg

2012-01-13T13:13:00.000-08:00

Attacked By A Woman's Ghost- (Caught on Tape) J Chris Newberg

2012-01-10T14:40:00.000-08:00

My Problem With Just Like Heaven. (The Cure) J Chris Newberg

2012-01-03T12:14:00.000-08:00

Keep Going. Fight On.

2011-12-27T18:10:00.001-08:00

This time last year, I was just out of a horrible relationship situation, broke, jobless, miserable, contemplating quitting & kind of a mess. My goals in 2011 were simple. "Keep going. Fight on." That was it. I had moments throughout the year that were even lower, but I stayed in it. One year later I have stopped my downward spiral, and without boasting, things are looking incredible. I worked hard to say that. I have a much more solid foundation for 2012, and I fear nothing. This will be my break through year. I see it. I am undeniable. It is certain. Thanks for watching, reading, commenting, liking, following, unfollowing throughout. Thanks for the encouragement. It helped. Thanks for the negativity, it fueled. Two years ago I came to the door. Last year I pounded on the door. This year, we kick it in. Thank you, The Chris Army and whatever you are working towards, Keep going, fight on, you will never be further than if you don't try. - J Chris Newberg 12/27/11

Is Miley Cyrus a Terrorist? - J Chris Newberg

2011-12-26T13:40:00.000-08:00

What a Crying Girl Really Means.

2011-12-24T09:30:00.000-08:00

Hey Y'all,

By Y'all I mean like 3 people because that's how many subscribers that I believe that I have.

That said.

The other night, this girl came over and she was crying. She had just broken up with her boyfriend of six years for various reasons, but the situation went down like this:

Phone rings...

ME: HELLO
HER: Are you home?
ME: Yep.
HER: Can I come over?
ME: Sure.

She arrived in 12 minutes or so. I know this because I got up and cleaned and happened to see the clock. She was pretty upset and told me what happened. In brief, she was tired of him not having a job, paying for him, not being attracted to him and that all he did was work out and hang out with his gay friends.

I suppose that would be grounds for being upset, but what do I know?

She was definitely sad, and I of course didn't understand that there are rules to handling a crying girl.

I offered her a towel, because I didn't have Kleenex. I am a guy that doesn't get sick very often, so I have no use for it. Also, if I know I am going to cry, I change the channel or think about losing the Super Bowl.

She entered and immediately said, " I shouldn't be here." I assumed that this meant she shouldn't be here, but I was wrong. What it really meant was, "Hug me. Hold me and have sex with me."

How do I know this? She texted me three days later and told me that, "My inability to handle her when she was crying was the reason she went back to her boyfriend and that had I grabbed her and made her stay (See earlier when she was crying and saying I need to go, I can't be here) that she was planning on having sex with me or "Sexy time," as she referred to it.

See my error? I didn't.

Now, we don't speak.

I explained this to a close friend expecting him to agree and he told me that I played it wrong. He even knew the end of the story before I finished it. It was Jedi shit. I listened on... He schooled me in the ways of the language of the crying girl.

I learned something.

I am a nice guy. I always have been. If you are a friend, I will protect you and have mad loyalty. If you are a girl that I like, I will be insanely kind hearted and nice, and like 95 percent of the time, it won't work. I understand that girls want that eventually, but not up front. It has taken me a lifetime to not understand that.

On stage, I am cocky. An enforcer and I am in control. I get several numbers and have interest like crazy from the ladies, but I blow it when I call them, because I turn back into me. I am nice and respectful. (Read: Doing it wrong).

I am also done with that.

In 2012, I have many professional goals that I won't bore you with, but personally, I am done being nice to girls. I am taking the advice of my friend and I am donning the approach that I have on stage. I won't write about this again until 2013. Let's see how it goes.

In conclusion, any man who thinks he understands a woman is a man who knows not a thing. This girl went back to her ex, even though he is admittedly gay and drinks steroids, why? Because he knows that I should leave means make me stay. God bless em. Oh wait, that's nice. So, um.. F them?

I'll get better.

I am I am I am, J Chris Newberg
@thechrisarmy

Never Getting it Back Alex Fish - J Chris Newberg

2011-12-20T12:23:00.000-08:00

I Have A Doll Of You That I Put Pins In - J Chris Newberg

2011-12-12T13:00:00.000-08:00

On the Road In Manitoba - J Chris Newberg

2011-12-10T18:24:00.000-08:00

The Serenade

2011-12-05T08:12:00.000-08:00

Comedy Club - The Morning After - J Chris Newberg

2011-12-03T07:07:00.000-08:00

Ultimate Break Up Song Part 2 - J Chris Newberg

2011-11-29T18:19:00.000-08:00

(Twilight) Don't Kill Me Vampire - J Chris Newberg

2011-11-16T18:49:00.000-08:00

Playmate Data Sheet - J Chris Newberg

2011-11-15T20:59:00.000-08:00

Behind the Costa Rican Smile

2011-11-07T14:58:00.001-08:00

Behind the Costa Rican Smile

2011-11-07T14:58:00.000-08:00

IFYF - J CHRIS NEWBERG (Featuring Nik Isbelle)

2011-11-07T13:27:00.000-08:00

J Chris Newberg. Hot. Wet. Honest.

2011-11-05T20:43:00.000-07:00