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	<title>Jaybill.com</title>
	
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	<description>Jaybill McCarthy's blog.</description>
	<pubDate>Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:01:04 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words</title>
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		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Nov 2009 23:58:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[nanowrimo]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=575</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s day three of NaNoWriMo. I&#8217;m pretty pleased that I&#8217;ve managed to crap out over three thousand words in such a short time. One thing is that&#8217;s becoming readily apparent, though, is how much I suck at writing compelling descriptions of things. Not having any idea what I&#8217;m doing, I&#8217;ve sort of been approaching this [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-576" title="I believe this speech bubble was in the original version of the painting." src="http://jaybill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/monastfu.jpg" alt="I believe this speech bubble was in the original version of the painting." width="239" height="208" />It&#8217;s day three of <a title="National Novel Writing Month" href="http://nanowrimo.org">NaNoWriMo</a>. I&#8217;m pretty pleased that I&#8217;ve managed to crap out over three thousand words in such a short time. One thing is that&#8217;s becoming readily apparent, though, is how much I suck at writing compelling descriptions of things. Not having any idea what I&#8217;m doing, I&#8217;ve sort of been approaching this novel like I might approach a screenplay (which I have written before) in that I&#8217;m trying to weave a thread of narrative through a series of set pieces. Granted, no one is going to win a Nobel prize in literature using this method, but it&#8217;s how Michael Bay approaches a story, and that motherf@#ker is <em>rich</em>.</p>
<p>The problem arises from the fact that my set piece ideas are <em>visual</em>. I can see them clearly in my head. This would be fine, you see, if I were writing this thing just for myself. It would seem, though, that any potential reader needs me to <em>describe</em> that which I see in my head. This has been harder than it initially appeared for me. I had been handling it like I handle all difficult problems, which is to say that I simply avoided them in the hopes that I&#8217;d figure something out later. This was going well until last night, when I read the first few paragraphs of my girlfriend Sarah&#8217;s NaNoWriMo efforts. Sarah has a degree in English from the prestigious Smith College in western Massachusetts. She is an unqualified genius and an absolute <em>painter</em> when it comes to words. In less than two hundred words, she was able to evoke an utterly compelling sense of place and a whole set of emotional responses to go with it. She&#8217;s painting the Sistine Chapel whilst I lay on the floor of the den with a box of crayons, drawing stick figures next to a two-dimensional house with a sun in the sky.</p>
<p>I knew full well what my set pieces and characters made <em>me</em> feel like, but I was having trouble describing them. Then it hit me. What I&#8217;m trying to do is <em>paint a picture</em>. What I simply called out places in my text where I wanted to paint those pictures and pasted in a photograph of what I wanted to describe? Once my description matches the picture to my satisfaction, I can simply delete the picture. I tried a test with a road through a forest I wanted to describe, and to my amazement, it worked really well.</p>
<p>I spent the first part of today finding the right pictures of people and places I want to describe and inserting them into my text. I&#8217;ve got around twenty right now. If a picture is worth a thousand words, describing these pictures should get me twenty thousand more words! At least I think that&#8217;s how the math for that works out. I&#8217;ll let you know.</p>
<p>Crap. Here&#8217;s 489 words that <em>aren&#8217;t</em> in my effing novel. Back to work!</p>
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		<title>I Am Writing a Novel</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/q4BfdMkOZeU/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/10/30/i-am-writing-a-novel/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:10:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[crazy]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[nanowrimo]]></category>

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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=567</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Apparently I don&#8217;t have enough to do. Also, when I fail, I like to fail big (and publicly, if at all possible.) That&#8217;s why I&#8217;ve decided to participate in this years National Novel Writing Month. Crazy, you say? No crazier than any of the other &#8220;creative efforts&#8221; I&#8217;ve attempted in the past ten years. Hell, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-568" title="I do not plan to use one of these. Also, I do not smoke." src="http://jaybill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/typewriter.png" alt="I do not plan to use one of these. Also, I do not smoke." width="200" height="150" />Apparently I don&#8217;t have enough to do. Also, when I fail, I like to fail big (and publicly, if at all possible.) That&#8217;s why I&#8217;ve decided to participate in this years <a title="like-minded fools" href="http://www.nanowrimo.org">National Novel Writing Month</a>. Crazy, you say? No crazier than any of the other &#8220;creative efforts&#8221; I&#8217;ve attempted in the past ten years. Hell, this one doesn&#8217;t require any more resources than the time it will take and a modest laptop. I wish I could say that of my film career. My <em>credit rating</em> wishes I could say that of my film career as well.</p>
<p>If you&#8217;re not familiar with National Novel Writing Month (or NaNoWriMo as it has come to be known), it&#8217;s an organized effort to get people to write a 50,000 word novel in the month of November. While it might seem a bit ambitious to try and write 50,000 words in a month and even <em>more</em> ambitious to have those words form something like a story, the organizers (and several friends who&#8217;ve done it before) say it&#8217;s totally possible.</p>
<p>Speaking of friends, I have conscripted a few to participate in the event with me and write their <em>own</em> terrible novels. I really did conscript them rather than ask them. This is one of those things where you just have to tell people to &#8220;get in the car&#8221; and don&#8217;t really let them worry about the destination. Really, it&#8217;s motivation for me, as I&#8217;m going to look like quite an idiot if I encourage people to do this and fail to do it myself. Two of these people live in my house, so we&#8217;ll be able to &#8220;support&#8221; (read: mock) each other as we go.</p>
<p>Interestingly, I just noticed that Wordpress here counts words as you type. I just managed to crap out 250 words in a little over fifteen minutes. Considering that one needs to average 1667 words per day to write 50,000 words in 30 days, I really only need to write for around one to three hours a day to make this happen.</p>
<p>Like many people, I&#8217;ve started writing several novels. I&#8217;ve never finished one, though I did get pretty far along with my last attempt.  My hope is that by tearing through this one in a month, I&#8217;ll have a reasonable piece of work (or crap) to start editing.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ve also decided to write this novel using only open source software. I was going to use a Mac emulator running System 7 and Word 5 (the best word processor ever written, im my opinion), but once I got it running I felt like the whole setup was a little dodgy, even for me. Instead, I installed a relatively recent laptop I had with <a title="it is actually pretty okay!" href="http://www.ubuntulinux.org">Ubuntu 9.10</a> and <a title="fast, stable and doesn't have that goddamned paperclip." href="http://www.abisource.com">AbiWord</a>. I wanted a machine that would be dedicated to this process, so when I sit down at it to write I don&#8217;t flail about and do anything else. I&#8217;m even going to disable the wireless during designated writing time so I don&#8217;t fall into a lolcat pit whilst doing &#8220;research&#8221;.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll be updating my wordcount on <a title="they give you a whole page! on the internet!" href="http://www.nanowrimo.org/eng/user/553445">my NaNoWriMo page</a>, but I&#8217;ll also be updating it here, in the sidebar. Oh, and please, do me a huge favor: Do NOT encourage me. It has been my experience that encouragement does nothing for me. If you want to help, what I need now is cold, hard <em>derision</em>. Feel free to tell me how much I suck if my daily word count falls below 1667. Tell me I&#8217;ll never amount to anything. Ridicule my efforts as much as you can. This is the only effective motivation you can provide. The more you ride me, the more likely I am to defy you and succeed.</p>
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		<title>Sometimes, Numbers Lie</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/YrKYT0-3X90/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/10/28/sometimes-numbers-lie/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:40:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
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		<title>Let’s Get Our Heads in the Game</title>
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		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/10/27/lets-get-our-heads-in-the-game/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 27 Oct 2009 18:22:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
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		<category><![CDATA[acres]]></category>

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		<title>The Formula For Invincibility</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/tL9IbhOK924/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/10/26/invincibility-formula/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 26 Oct 2009 23:10:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[falling]]></category>

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		<title>Wind Power and Hot Air</title>
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		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/10/21/wind-power-and-hot-air/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Oct 2009 19:22:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
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		<description><![CDATA[I am in no way an environmentalist. This may strike you as odd, considering how far left I generally lean. My general opinion on the subject, though, is that it is a morass of competing goals and that humans are terrible at doing anything preventative, especially for altruistic motives.  We might be able to solve [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I am in no way an environmentalist. This may strike you as odd, considering how far left I generally lean. My general opinion on the subject, though, is that it is a morass of competing goals and that humans are terrible at doing anything preventative, especially for altruistic motives.  We <em>might</em> be able to solve our environmental crisis after the fact, but there is absolutely no way you&#8217;re going to get everyone on earth to drastically change their behaviors on the timescales required. (read: yesterday)</p>
<p>This is not to say that I&#8217;m in support of dumping my garbage in a river and clubbing baby seals. I just think that environmentalism, is, in general, a lost cause. We should be preparing for the eventualities rather than trying to prevent them. I&#8217;d rather invest my energy where it can actually do something productive.</p>
<p>For this reason, I&#8217;m a huge supporter of renewable energy, particularly in the form of solar and wind.  Both of these resources, are, for practical purposes, infinite and free. You&#8217;d think that would make them absurdly compelling, even if your only motive is greed. It is for this reason that I am continually amazed by the efforts the big energy industry to cast doubt on these technologies.</p>
<p>Yesterday, for example, I came across <a title="Later - Straw men: should you fear them?" href="http://www.nextgenpe.com/news/new-york-wind-farms/">this article</a> in <a title="Industry stooges? Where?" href="http://www.nextgenpe.com/">Power &amp; Energy Magazine</a> on the advantages and disadvantages of wind power. The highlight was the following infographic. (Click to see original.)</p>
<p><a href="http://www.nextgenpe.com/news/new-york-wind-farms/"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-538" title="Wind Power Infographic" src="http://jaybill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/wind_small.png" alt="Wind Power Infographic" width="300" height="353" /></a></p>
<p>Ah, yes. Nothing like the clean lines, good design and extensive use of green to aid you in your <a title="if it only had a brain" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Straw_man">straw man argument</a>. I don&#8217;t want to accuse the fine folks at Power &amp; Energy Magazine of being industry stooges, but come now. Let&#8217;s look at some of their &#8220;disadvantages&#8221; of wind power, according to the article:</p>
<blockquote><p><strong>Unreliability</strong></p>
<p>The main issue concerned with power from the wind, is that of its unreliability. Wind strength cannot be controlled and in some areas it is just not a viable source of power.</p></blockquote>
<p>So, um, here&#8217;s a crazy idea: Maybe don&#8217;t put wind farms in places where they won&#8217;t work. Then you wouldn&#8217;t have that problem! Also: Don&#8217;t put a hydroelectric power plant in the desert.</p>
<blockquote><p><strong>Lower Electricity Output</strong></p>
<p>Wind power generates significantly less electricity than its fossil fuel equivalent, meaning more turbines are required to generate the same amount of power. Wind turbines are also highly inefficient in terms of output capacity.</p></blockquote>
<p>This <em>would</em> be a really good point, if it weren&#8217;t the fact that energy efficiency concerns kind of don&#8217;t matter when your fuel source is  <em>free</em> and <em>nearly infinite.</em></p>
<blockquote><p><strong>Costly to surrounding wildlife</strong></p>
<p>With demand for renewable and cleaner energy sources growing it is likely that the need for land for wind farms will increase, which will potentially damage a high percentage of local wildlife In the process. It is also estimated that each wind turbine kills over 4 birds a year.</p></blockquote>
<p>Really?  <em>Really?</em> Compare wind farms to say&#8230;coal mining. I&#8217;m just guessing here, but I&#8217;m guessing coal mining probably kills more than four birds a year. Hell, <em>Thanksgiving</em> kills a hell of a lot more birds than that.</p>
<blockquote><p><strong>Noise Pollution</strong></p>
<p>The noise produced from a singular wind turbine is similar to that of a small jet engine and can be a cause of major concern for those living near a wind farm.</p></blockquote>
<p>Again, let&#8217;s compare this to the relative concerns of living near a coal-fired power plant. Coal plants are <em>known</em> to expose people living near them to elevated levels of radiation, airborne toxins and smog. Granted, you probably wouldn&#8217;t want a wind turbine in your back yard, but I can&#8217;t imagine this is any different than living near an airport. Even so, airports tend to be in populated areas, whereas wind farms tend to be in very rural areas.</p>
<p>So it&#8217;s probably fair to say the &#8220;disadvantages&#8221; listed in this article don&#8217;t stand up to even casual scrutiny. Just to put things into perspective, I&#8217;ve prepared my own infographic for you, breaking down the advantages and disadvantages of another energy source: coal. Click for the larger version.</p>
<p><a href="http://jaybill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/coal.png"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-543" title="It's amazing what you can do with photoshop in twenty minutes." src="http://jaybill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/coal_small.jpg" alt="It's amazing what you can do with photoshop in twenty minutes." width="300" height="353" /></a></p>
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		<item>
		<title>Everything in Its Right Place</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/pHticvJX9_Q/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/03/24/everything-in-its-right-place/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Mar 2009 21:15:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[garage]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[organize]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[shop]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[toolbox]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[tools]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=511</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[ I spend my working life writing software and generally staring at computer screens. When I&#8217;m done with the computer for the day, I feel compelled to do something &#8220;real world&#8221;, like cook or build something. Cooking is easy, satisfying and relatively self-contained. Other types of projects require not only space, but an organized space [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a class="tt-flickr tt-flickr-Small" title="It's not a mess! Yay!" href="http://jaybill.com/photos/photo/3382025883/new-layout.html"><img class="alignright" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3419/3382025883_b52f164166_m.jpg" alt="It's not a mess! Yay!" width="180" height="240" /></a> I spend my working life writing software and generally staring at computer screens. When I&#8217;m done with the computer for the day, I feel compelled to do something &#8220;real world&#8221;, like cook or build something. Cooking is easy, satisfying and relatively self-contained. Other types of projects require not only space, but an organized space where you can find the right tool or the right size bolt before you have to stop because it&#8217;s bed time.</p>
<p>Such has been the problem with my garage since I&#8217;ve had a garage. My tools have traditionally been stored in a pile next to the last thing I worked on. At best, they were all jumbled up in a toolbox. After seeing how <a title="he has probably lost more tools than I will ever own" href="http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/mythbusters-raw-jamies-toolkit.html">Jaime Hyneman</a> keeps his tools organized, I was kind of inspired. So long as everything has a place and you know where that place is, the amount of time you spend looking for something in particular can be greatly reduced, if not eliminated.</p>
<p>I started by declaring a number of functional areas for the space. I would have one bench for small projects, like electronics and another for larger stuff, like woodworking. Bike repair would have its own area. Tool storage would be centrally located.</p>
<p>I decided that I what I really wanted was a way to have my tools all out and accessible at all times, but not all jumbled up. I&#8217;ve seen this done effectively with peg boards, but those get pricey by the time you&#8217;ve got a hook for every tool. I also don&#8217;t love how much actual wall space pegboards take up.  I decided I wanted something that would come out from the wall a bit that had a horizontal surface with holes in it. This could be used to store all manner of commonly used hand tools, like screwdrivers, hammers, pliers and so on. I was just about to make something when I saw this milk crate in the corner of the garage. It was an older one that had this heavy metal band around the top. I turned it upside down, bolted it to the wall and started putting tools in the holes in the bottom. If a tool wouldn&#8217;t fit, I cut some of the plastic bars to accomodate it. I probably fit two pegboards worth of tools in a quarter of the space.  Here&#8217;s a picture of it:</p>
<p><a class="tt-flickr tt-flickr-Medium" href="http://jaybill.com/photos/photo/3382836270/toolbox.html"><img class="alignnone" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3615/3382836270_4638d4e6ef.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="375" /></a></p>
<p>For things that wouldn&#8217;t fit in the rack, I just put a finishing nail in the wall and hung it.  Another thing I&#8217;m kind of proud of is this quick but useful drill bit holder I made:</p>
<p><a class="tt-flickr tt-flickr-Medium" title="Drill Bit Holder" href="http://jaybill.com/photos/photo/3382899036/drill-bit-holder.html"><img class="alignnone" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3548/3382899036_42402dff42.jpg" alt="Drill Bit Holder" width="500" height="375" /></a></p>
<p>It has hooks so it can hang on the wall but can also be moved where it needs to go.</p>
<p>Now that everything has a spot, I waste no time looking for stuff. I can spend the hour or two at a time I might have for projects actually working on projects instead of looking for my sh*t. Yay!  Here&#8217;s <a title="You can even see where I keep paint! Yay!" href="http://jaybill.com/photos/album/72157615765592407/garage-re-organization.html">more pictures</a> of the finished reorganization.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Pharrell Talks About ARTST</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/6RkoV0dwTa8/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/02/27/498/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 27 Feb 2009 18:28:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=498</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Via Steve King of Fishbucket:
Pharrell did a nice little piece on Current a few days ago, talking about the inspiration behind artst.com (formerly known as Heywire.) The site has been blowing up this month, a huge flood of new members and artwork and always inspiring stuff to check out. If you haven’t yet, get in [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Via <a title="Steve King. The one that doesn't write novels." href="http://fishbucket.com/king">Steve King</a> of <a title="It's like a bucket of fish" href="http://fishbucket.com">Fishbucket</a>:</p>
<blockquote><p>Pharrell did a nice little piece on <a title="Al Gore does TV!" href="http://current.com">Current</a> a few days ago, talking about the inspiration behind <a href="http://artst.com/">artst.com</a> (formerly known as Heywire.) The site has been blowing up this month, a huge flood of new members and artwork and always inspiring stuff to check out. If you haven’t yet, get in on that!</p></blockquote>

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		<item>
		<title>Remove OSX “._” files from Subversion</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/_ecbyuxWsWg/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/02/12/remove-osx-_-files-from-subversion/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 13 Feb 2009 03:38:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[bash]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[loop]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[osx]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[subversion]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[svn]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[svn del]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=493</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Do you use subversion? Did some well meaning OSX-using member of your team do &#8220;svn add *&#8221;  and accidentially commit a bunch of OSX&#8217;s vestigal &#8220;._&#8221; files?
Here&#8217;s an easy way to get rid of them. From the command line (in any Unix variant, including OSX) and cd to the working directory in question.  Then [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Do you use <a title="svn to my homies" href="http://subversion.tigris.org/">subversion</a>? Did some well meaning OSX-using member of your team do &#8220;svn add *&#8221;  and accidentially commit a bunch of OSX&#8217;s vestigal &#8220;._&#8221; files?</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s an easy way to get rid of them. From the command line (in any Unix variant, including OSX) and cd to the working directory in question.  Then paste in the following:</p>
<div class="dean_ch" style="white-space: wrap;">
<ol>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="co2">#!/bin/bash</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="kw1">for</span> <a href="http://www.php.net/file"><span class="kw3">file</span></a> in \</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; `find . -name <span class="st0">&quot;._*&quot;</span> -<a href="http://www.php.net/print"><span class="kw3">print</span></a> | grep -v <span class="st0">&quot;.svn&quot;</span>`;</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&nbsp; <span class="kw1">do</span> svn del <span class="re0">$file</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">done</div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p>Then commit, and you&#8217;re done.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Kanye West - 808s &amp; Heartbreaks</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/bapu-X-xxQk/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/02/09/kanye-west-808s-heartbreaks/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 09 Feb 2009 17:31:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[hip hop]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[kanye west]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[music]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[playlist]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[records]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=469</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I am not given to writing music reviews, especially of pop music. There are two reasons for this. First is that I&#8217;m generally about three to five months behind in terms of &#8220;new&#8221; music. Second is that I don&#8217;t know that I want all my cool hipster friends knowing that I listen to pop music [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.rhapsody.com/goto?variant=play&amp;rcid=Alb.24458327&amp;rws=%2Fuser-album-history.rss"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-485" title="Kanye West - 808s &amp; Heartbreaks" src="http://jaybill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/kanyewest808.jpg" alt="Kanye West - 808s &amp; Heartbreaks" width="170" height="170" /></a>I am not given to writing music reviews, especially of pop music. There are two reasons for this. First is that I&#8217;m generally about three to five months behind in terms of &#8220;new&#8221; music. Second is that I don&#8217;t know that I want all my cool hipster friends knowing that I listen to pop music now and then. Sometimes even listen to it non-ironically! (gasp)</p>
<p>In semi-related news, I found out that <a title="iTunes is mostly for suckahs. But that's another show." href="http://www.rhapsody.com">Rhapsody</a> allows you to get your playlist via RSS, complete with album art and links to listen to the tracks on the free (web-based) version of the service. Pretty neat! I thought it would be fun to publish that, so one quick and dirty Wordpress plugin later and <a title="I don't know why you would want this. But now you have it. So there's that." href="http://jaybill.com/playlist">here it is</a>. I&#8217;m sure it will be used against me at some point in the future when <a title="I wonder what he'd sound like without Auto-TuneTM" href="http://www.rhapsody.com/t-pain">T-Pain</a> puts out a new record and I play it continuously for three weeks straight.</p>
<p>Anyway, back to the matter at hand. Currently, the most recent <a title="Jay-Z just calls him &quot;yay&quot;" href="http://www.rhapsody.com/kanye-west">Kanye West</a> record, <em><a title="808s &amp; Heartbreaks" href="http://play.rhapsody.com/kanye-west/808s-heartbreak--roc-a-fella-records">808s &amp; Heartbreaks</a></em> has been in heavy rotation on <a title="I wish I had thought of that sooner." href="http://jaybill.com/playlist">Radio Jaybill</a>. Now granted, I liked <a title="she ain't messing with no broke nillas" href="http://www.rhapsody.com/kanye-west/late-registration--explicit/gold-digger">Golddigger</a> as much as the next thirty-something uncool white guy, but this record couldn&#8217;t be less like <em><a title="what is it with him and college-related album titles?" href="http://www.rhapsody.com/kanye-west/late-registration--explicit">Late Registration</a></em>. I&#8217;ve decided that this record is basically to pop music what <em><a title="Depp!" href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0325980/">Pirates of the Caribbean</a></em> is to movies. That is that it&#8217;s such a stupid idea that it shouldn&#8217;t have worked, so one has very low expectations. Then it actually turns out to be <em>good</em> and you&#8217;re that much more surprised. Seriously, this should have been a formula for disaster: rapper turned R&amp;B singer makes record with little more than sparse drum machines and <a title="also known as the &quot;remove soul&quot; button" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auto-Tune">Auto-Tune</a> about why he is sad. On the surface, it&#8217;s far less plausible than a pirate movie based on a theme park ride.</p>
<p>Somehow, though, it works. I think the most striking thing about it is how utterly <em>sincere</em> it sounds. Granted, Mr. West has had a pretty <a title="his mom died" href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21742159/">rough</a> <a title="he broke up with his fiancee" href="http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,352036,00.html">year</a> and has plenty to be upset about. I mean, nothing worse than your average country songwriter must endure in a typical year, but still. That&#8217;s probably got something to do with why this record succeeds, actually. If someone had made a country record out of this subject matter, it would have been totally boring. The choice of medium really helps the final product.</p>
<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-487" title="He looks so SAD!" src="http://jaybill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/kanye_head_small.jpg" alt="He looks so SAD!" width="233" height="284" />I thought it would be difficult to feel <em>bad</em> for someone who makes more money in twenty minutes than I&#8217;ll make this year, and yet, I kind of did. His apparent honesty is utterly disarming. He makes no apologies for being rich, famous and powerful. If he had, it probably would have cheapened it somehow. If art is about finding a unique perspective, I put forth West has done nothing if not that. This is a record about someone who seemingly has everything and is suddenly forced to reckon with the utter vacuousness of his existence. This is combined with his realization that he&#8217;s worked so hard on his career that he&#8217;s left no room for his personal life. It&#8217;s a heady mix of inner torment that would make Trent Reznor proud.</p>
<p>Aside from a slew of guest appearances (including Lil Wayne and the ever forgettable Young Jeezy) it lacks most of the trite trappings of typical hip hop record. (including, for the most part, actual hip hop) While overall a pretty great record, it&#8217;s not without a few duds. The final track, <a title="turn it back on" href="http://www.rhapsody.com/kanye-west/808s-heartbreak--roc-a-fella-records/pinocchio-story-freestyle-live-from-singapore">Pinocchio Story</a>, for example, shows what happens when he turns off Auto-Tune. It&#8217;s not pretty.</p>
<p>Overall, though, it&#8217;s a very solid record and I highly recommend it.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Dear Myanmar…</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/yosgl0DnEXY/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/02/07/dear-myanmar/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 08 Feb 2009 00:37:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[chinlone]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[hack sack]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[video]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=472</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Thanks for making hacky sack look stupid:
This is a sport called chinlone. It&#8217;s sort of a cross between sport and dance and people that are good at it are amazing to watch. I imagine if you&#8217;re a fan of this and go to events, you probably don&#8217;t want to sit too close to the action [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thanks for making <a title="more like sad sack" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hacky_Sack">hacky sack</a> look stupid:</p>
<a href="http://jaybill.com/2009/02/07/dear-myanmar/"><em>Click here to view the embedded video.</em></a>
<p>This is a sport called <a title="no chins are harmed" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chinlone">chinlone</a>. It&#8217;s sort of a cross between sport and dance and people that are good at it are amazing to watch. I imagine if you&#8217;re a fan of this and go to events, you probably don&#8217;t want to sit too close to the action unless a really good team is playing, or you are <em>so</em> taking a foot to the teeth.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Time Warp: My New Favorite Thing</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/_pzcq3ov8CQ/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/02/04/time-warp-my-new-favorite-thing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 05 Feb 2009 07:43:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[camera]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[discovery]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[high speed]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[mythbusters]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[time warp]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[tv]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=463</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Discovery recently launched a new show called Time Warp. Basically, the idea is that scientist Jeff Lieberman and digital imaging expert Matt Kearney use high speed photography to slow various actions way, way down. I was skeptical at first, considering it seemed like another blatant attempt to capitalize on an aspect of Mythbysters, where high [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a title="something like science" href="http://discovery.com"><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-464" title="it is like time but warped" src="http://jaybill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/timewarplogo.jpg" alt="it is like time but warped" width="150" height="117" />Discovery</a> recently launched a new show called <a title="slow down" href="http://dsc.discovery.com/tv/time-warp/time-warp.html"><em>Time Warp</em></a>. Basically, the idea is that scientist <a title="It's true. He's really a scientist. He's got like four degrees. One is from MIT." href="http://bea.st">Jeff Lieberman</a> and digital imaging expert <a title="ready on the high speed" href="http://dsc.discovery.com/tv/time-warp/bio/matt-kearney.html">Matt Kearney</a> use high speed photography to slow various actions way, way down. I was skeptical at first, considering it seemed like another blatant attempt to capitalize on an aspect of <a title="mmmm. science." href="http://discovery.com/mythbusters">Mythbysters</a>, where high speed photography is as much a part of the experience as <a title="still my favorite" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gxm_qpKh7Jw">explosions</a> and <a title="BONUS: Adam getting injured on the high speed." href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PwdpdVA1r_0">Adam Savage getting injured</a>. To some degree <em>Time Warp</em> <strong><em>is</em></strong> ripping off MythBusters a bit. I point this out only because other recent attempts at doing this have been <a title="have they cancelled this yet? they need to." href="http://dsc.discovery.com/tv/smash-lab/smash-lab.html">abysmal</a> <a title="I hate these men. All of them." href="http://science.discovery.com/tv/patent-bending/patent-bending.html">failures</a>. This is probably because they took one aspect of the show and didn&#8217;t do it nearly as well as the original. The success of Mythbusters has something to do with the <em>mix</em> of science, quirky hosts, explosions and interesting imagery. No one aspect is really the key to it.</p>
<p><em>Time Warp</em> is different, in that they really do seem to have something unique. To start with, their high speed images are <em>stunning</em>. Then they combine this great photograpic technique with really interesting subject matter. They&#8217;ve shot and slowed down everything from <a title="So much fire! So little clothing!" href="http://www.fuelgirls.co.uk">The Fuel Girls</a> to <a title="no clown cars here" href="http://www.cirquedusoleil.com">Cirque du Soleil</a> and <a title="Greg Lutzka" href="http://www.skateboardermag.com/skateboarder-news-features/features/Lutzka/">pro skateboarders</a> to a <a title="do not visit this site" href="http://www.reverendtommygunn.com">guy that puts various body parts in animal traps</a> and everything in between. While I think the show&#8217;s hosts are still trying to find their footing a little bit, they both seem to be smart, likable guys who seem to been really into what they&#8217;re doing.</p>
<p>Some of the more interesting things they shoot don&#8217;t even seem that interesting on the surface, like popping water balloons or punching people in the face. Somehow, though, just about anything is a lot more entertaining at 1000 frames per second. It turns out you miss a lot of things at normal speed. Anyway, you should check it out. Discovery has a bunch of <a title="for who knows how long, but still" href="http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/time-warp/index.html">full episodes</a> of the show available online.</p>
<p>Also, <a title="What you want is at 3:32." href="http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/time-warp-the-wet-dog-shake.html">this</a> cracks me up every time I watch it.</p>
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		<title>“Inhuman” Is More Like It</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/f2qUPzDvSM8/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/02/03/inhuman-is-more-like-it/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Feb 2009 06:43:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[gamefly]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[review]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[too human]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[video games]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=453</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Not that I want to encroach on Mike&#8217;s territory, but today Too Human for Xbox 360 arrived via Gamefly. As a rule, bad video games are like bad pizza: even if it sucks, you&#8217;re still eating pizza. Or playing a video game. I mean&#8230;this is to say that at least the worst pizza or video [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-454" title="he's got something on his face" src="http://jaybill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/too_human_small.jpg" alt="he's got something on his face" width="100" height="141" />Not that I want to encroach on <a title="not that Mike has cornered the market on three month old video game reviews" href="http://eatenbygrue.blogspot.com">Mike&#8217;s</a> territory, but today <em><a title="I can't find the official site" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Too_Human">Too Human</a></em> for Xbox 360 arrived via <a title="like netflix for video games" href="http://gamefly.com">Gamefly</a>. As a rule, bad video games are like bad pizza: even if it sucks, you&#8217;re still eating pizza. Or playing a video game. I mean&#8230;this is to say that at least the worst pizza or video game is better than doing something that isn&#8217;t one of those things, like say, having your wisdom teeth out. (F@#k. I still need to get that done, actually.) Interestingly, though, I think I would rather have my wisdom teeth taken out than play this game.</p>
<p>It seemed like a solid premise: It&#8217;s a science-fictiony game wherein Norse mythology meets cybernetics.  As far as the gameplay, it&#8217;s the bastard child of a hack-and-slash Diablo-type game, an RPG and a fighter. (Seriously, there are combos and such.) It&#8217;s also terrible. Did I mention that?</p>
<p>Where to begin? How about the opening cutscene:</p>
<a href="http://jaybill.com/2009/02/03/inhuman-is-more-like-it/"><em>Click here to view the embedded video.</em></a>
<p>Skip to about 2:19 where you will find a woman-thing who, despite being mostly wires and robot parts still feels the need to wear an outfit that has about as much fabric as child&#8217;s sock. While I&#8217;m sure they were trying to appeal to teenage boys with scantily clad women, even that fails terribly.  The whole scene is about as hot as a cross between an 80 year-old grandmother and RoboCop. (But hey, if that turns you on, maybe this game is for you.)</p>
<p>We&#8217;re not even to the game yet! The controls are awful. Since, I don&#8217;t know, Playstation 1? The left stick is for moving, the right stick is for looking. No exceptions. Except for <em>Too Human</em>, where the right analog stick is for <em>attacking</em>. Yes, that&#8217;s right. There&#8217;s like eight other perfectly good buttons on that controller (many of which aren&#8217;t even used by default) and they put attack on the <em>stick</em>. As if that wasn&#8217;t enough, it would seem that you have a gun, grenades, a big knife on a stick, a mechanical spider and maybe a robot gerbil that are all governed by some combination of sticks and buttons. It&#8217;s a <em>mess</em>.</p>
<p>Then there&#8217;s the camera, (Did I mention the right stick doesn&#8217;t control the camera?) which you seem to only be able to center or set the distance of. It&#8217;s <em>always</em> in the wrong place.</p>
<p>Add to all this the fact that every time you die, there&#8217;s a thirty-second animation of you getting taken up to Viking heaven by a robot Valkyrie. A thirty-second, <em>unskippable</em> animation. You then respawn with full health ten feet away. (Note: I am not making this up.) Where I&#8217;m from, Vikings that die get put on a boat and <em>then that boat is set on fire</em>.</p>
<p>What baffles me the most is that this isn&#8217;t some movie tie-in game that was crapped out in two months for as little money as possible. They spent <em>80 million dollars</em> and <em>ten years</em> on this game.  (It was originally supposed to be a PS1 title.) Amazing.</p>
<p>It will be going back to Gamefly in tomorrow&#8217;s mail. I&#8217;m glad I didn&#8217;t actually buy it. I feel sorry for those that did. In closing, don&#8217;t buy this game. It is really bad.</p>
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		<title>It is pitch black.</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/GxBrIoioNDw/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/02/03/it-is-pitch-black/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Feb 2009 20:04:29 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[blog]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[eaten by a grue]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[mike forgione]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[old man murray]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=446</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Mainly because he doesn&#8217;t want me to, I&#8217;d like to call your attention to Mike Forgione&#8217;s new blog, Eaten By A Grue. Mike posts semi-regular fun size servings of wit about whatever three month old video game he&#8217;s playing right now.
It&#8217;s kind of like Old Man Murray for people with Twitter attention spans. In fact, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-448" title="I love you, google image search." src="http://jaybill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/smallgrue.jpg" alt="I love you, google image search." width="150" height="134" />Mainly because he doesn&#8217;t want me to, I&#8217;d like to call your attention to Mike Forgione&#8217;s new blog, <a title="You will surely be eaten by a grue." href="http://eatenbygrue.blogspot.com">Eaten By A Grue</a>. Mike posts semi-regular fun size servings of wit about whatever three month old video game he&#8217;s playing right now.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s kind of like <a title="And now he works for Valve." href="http://www.oldmanmurray.com">Old Man Murray</a> for people with Twitter attention spans. In fact, this blog post telling you <em>about</em> his blog is probably longer than most of his blog posts.</p>
<p>He just &#8220;launched&#8221;, but he&#8217;s off to a promising start. Maybe if he gets a ton of readers he&#8217;ll post more, but don&#8217;t count on it. Just enjoy whatever he gives you and keep quiet.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>The North Wind Blew South</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/SVYbTlMHCRg/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/02/03/the-north-wind-blew-south/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:52:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[film]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[hdr]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[photography]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[tilt-shift]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[video]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=441</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[This is a really neato video I came across a week or two ago. It uses the tilt-shift technique which gives it a toy-like quality. I&#8217;ve seen this done with still photos, this is the first video I&#8217;ve seen. I think the artist&#8217;s choice to run it at a faster-than-life speed helps the toy illusion [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<a href="http://jaybill.com/2009/02/03/the-north-wind-blew-south/"><em>Click here to view the embedded video.</em></a>
<p>This is a really neato video I came across a week or two ago. It uses the <a title="I don't really understand why it works. Sorry." href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tilt-shift_miniature_faking">tilt-shift</a> technique which gives it a toy-like quality. I&#8217;ve seen this done with still photos, this is the first video I&#8217;ve seen. I think the artist&#8217;s choice to run it at a faster-than-life speed helps the toy illusion quite a bit.</p>
<p>Even so, I&#8217;m putting tilt-shift <a title="if it is on a wiki it is true" href="http://www.wikiality.com/On_Notice">on notice</a>. It&#8217;s well on its way to becoming the next <a title="Hi, dymanic range!" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/High_dynamic_range_imaging">HDR</a>. That is to say, an interesting photographic technique that gets <a title="940,822 results as of this writing" href="http://www.flickr.com/search/?q=hdr&amp;w=all">beat to death</a> from overuse.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Blogging: From Once Monthly to Thrice Weekly and Beyond</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/6_XBudJzB98/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/02/03/blogging-from-once-monthly-to-thrice-weekly-and-beyond/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Feb 2009 16:23:38 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[blogging]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[writing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=432</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[If you look through my archives, you will note that I add a blog entry approximately once a month. That&#8217;s right. In a medium that meaures things in hours, I&#8217;ve been working in months. It&#8217;s not that I don&#8217;t have more to write or even that I particularly care who is reading, if anyone. If [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-436" title="So...precious. *hork* " src="http://jaybill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/pmclown_small.jpg" alt="So...precious. *hork* " width="150" height="204" />If you look through my <a title="do not look through my archives. save yourself." href="http://jaybill.com/archives">archives</a>, you will note that I add a blog entry approximately once a month. That&#8217;s right. In a medium that meaures things in <em>hours</em>, I&#8217;ve been working in <em>months.</em> It&#8217;s not that I don&#8217;t have more to write or even that I particularly care who is reading, if anyone. If anything, I&#8217;ve got <em>too much</em> to say. (ask my poor wife) I also have the same amount of readers no matter what I do, so I can assume I there&#8217;s some kind of audience for whatever it is you call what I&#8217;m doing.</p>
<p>I was unsure of why this was until recently, when one <a title="He has a blog where he reveals secret surf spots" href="http://sissyfish.blogspot.com">Rick Albano</a> (a professional blogotype of the higest order) hit it right on the head. He pointed out that many would-be frequent bloggers <em>aren&#8217;t</em> because they treat each post as &#8220;too precious&#8221;. Blog posts are a somewhat unique form of writing. What I&#8217;ve been trying to write (with varying degrees of sucess) are <em>essays</em>. Blog posts are not essays. They&#8217;re almost <em>anti</em>-essays. I think the best term I&#8217;ve ever heard used for blog posts was by one <a title="Enjoy his photo commentaries. They are awesome." href="http://lileks.com">James Lileks</a>, who calls them &#8220;dashed-off tripe&#8221;.The point is not to polish the crap out of them, the point is to get them written and posted.</p>
<p>This isn&#8217;t to say that blog post writing should trade quality for update frequency. (Though there are many blogs that use this method.) For me, it means trading update <em>length</em> and <em>depth</em> for update frequency. The way to become a better blogger, in my mind, is to <em>blog more</em>. It needs to cease being something special and become something that&#8217;s just a function of daily life, like drinking coffee or putting out the garbage. (In my case it&#8217;s very similar to putting out the garbage.) It cannot be a function of how busy I am. No one is going to miss me for the thirty minutes or less it takes me to write something.</p>
<p>So there you have it. Gauntlet thrown. I&#8217;m going to shoot for a updating at least once a day. In reality, it will probably be more like three times a week. Either way, I&#8217;m done writing essays. It&#8217;s a motherf@#king blog.</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Communit.as Launch Party</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/JgrPXTDKPOA/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/01/30/communitas-launch-party/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 30 Jan 2009 17:40:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[communit.as]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[launch party]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[open source]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[portland]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=388</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Well, it&#8217;s official. We&#8217;re launching Communit.as on February 26th, 2009 from 6pm to 8pm at CubeSpace, which is located at 622 SE Grand Ave, Portland, OR.

In case you don&#8217;t remember, Communit.as is a web application foundation for building community and social network type sites. It was originally developed for Heywire ARTST back in 2007. Since [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://communit.as/launch"><img class="alignnone" title="free drinks!" src="http://communit.as/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/webflyer.png" alt="" width="420" height="480" /></a></p>
<p>Well, it&#8217;s official. We&#8217;re launching <a title="it is for making internets" href="http://communit.as">Communit.as</a> on <strong>February 26th, 2009 </strong>from<strong> 6pm to 8pm</strong> at <a title="CubeSpace!" href="http://cubespacepdx.com">CubeSpace</a>, which is located at <span class="street-address"><a title="directions to cubespace" href="http://cubespacepdx.com/directions">622 SE Grand Ave, Portland, OR</a>.<br />
</span></p>
<p>In case you don&#8217;t remember, <a title="i made this" href="http://communit.as">Communit.as</a> is a web application foundation for building community and social network type sites. It was <a title="remember when we made this?" href="http://jaybill.com/2007/12/11/heywire-guild-gallery">originally developed</a> for <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">Heywire</span> <a title="What do you call an artist with no &quot;i&quot;? BLIND! Ha! Get it? No &quot;i&quot;? Nevermind." href="http://artst.com">ARTST</a> back in 2007. Since then, we also built <a title="it's got to be the shoes" href="http://ryzwear.com">Ryz</a> with it, in addition to a number of smaller sites. This is a pretty major milestone for me personally as well as the rest of the team, as it represents almost two years of work. We&#8217;re pretty excited about it.</p>
<p>There will be drinks, snacks, a demo and Q&amp;A with the development team (of which I am totally a member). Hope to see you there. If you want to <a title="on upcoming" href="http://upcoming.yahoo.com/event/1699874/">let us know you&#8217;re coming</a>, that would be great!</p>
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		<item>
		<title>Portland Police Car Parked Illegally in Front of Starbucks</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/EEQXMet2JUw/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/01/22/portland-police-car-parked-illegally-in-front-of-starbucks/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 22 Jan 2009 18:22:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[car]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[car share]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[illegal]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[parking]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[pdx]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[portland]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[portland police]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=376</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I don&#8217;t normally go to Starbucks in the morning, but my wife Keri had given me a gift card she received that I wanted to use up. There&#8217;s one not far from my office in Northwest Portland. It&#8217;s kind of difficult to find parking in that area. As I was driving past looking around for [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I don&#8217;t normally go to Starbucks in the morning, but my wife Keri had given me a gift card she received that I wanted to use up. There&#8217;s one not far from my office in Northwest Portland. It&#8217;s kind of difficult to find parking in that area. As I was driving past looking around for a spot, I noticed that there was a police car parked in the car share spot, which happens to be very conveniently located directly in front of Starbucks. I quickly found a <em>legal</em> parking spot around the corner and ran back to snap these pictures with my iPhone:</p>
<p><a href="http://flickr.com/photos/jaybill/3218384620/"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-379" title="Portland Police Parked in Car Share Spot" src="http://jaybill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/3218384620_46a990960d_o.jpg" alt="" width="464" height="348" /></a></p>
<p>Having trouble seeing that sign there? Here&#8217;s a close-up:</p>
<p><a href="http://flickr.com/photos/jaybill/3218390546"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-380" title="Portland Police Car Parked in Car Share Spot (Sign Detail)" src="http://jaybill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/3218390546_b44e524e06_o.jpg" alt="" width="464" height="352" /></a></p>
<p>So yes, that&#8217;s clearly a Portland Police car parked in a spot designated for car share vehicles, such as those maintained by <a title="Wheels when you need them. Unless cops need coffee." href="http://zipcar.com">Zipcar</a>. It is illegal for any other vehicles (including Police cars) to park there.</p>
<p>Now to give the police the benefit of the doubt here, there could have been an emergency nearby. I initially took the pictures more because I thought it was kind of funny and ironic, considering the common stereotype that cops spend a lot of time in Starbucks. Then I went <em>inside</em> said Starbucks. There was a large group of cops in the back who were all staring at me. I assume this was because they saw me photographing one of their cars (I wasn&#8217;t trying to hide) parked illegally in a hard-to-park-in part of town while they sat around drinking coffee. One of them yelled &#8220;Thanks!&#8221; (I can only assume sarcastically) and gave me a toothy grin and a thumbs up. I did nothing but smile back. They were caught and they knew it.</p>
<p>I am not trying to bash the Portland Police. Being a police officer is a difficult, dangerous and often thankless job. Does it hurt anyone that one of these officers parked illegally in front of a coffee shop? Probably not. That&#8217;s not the point. The point is that if <em>you</em> parked in that spot, they&#8217;d give you a ticket in a heartbeat. It&#8217;s a complete double standard. The officer who parked his car there clearly held the opinion that he was above the law and that he could park his car wherever he wanted because no one would hold him accountable. Most days he is probably right.</p>
<p>Not today.</p>
<p><em><strong>UPDATE:</strong> This apparently not the first time <a title="In a SFO paper, oddly." href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/n/a/2008/07/24/national/a030626D90.DTL&amp;type=health">this has happened</a>.</em></p>
<p><em><strong>UPDATE:</strong> I have emailed the Portland police chief, <a title="she is the police chief" href="http://www.portlandonline.com/joinportlandpolice/index.cfm?c=38478">Rosie Sizer</a> about this incident using the address on <a title="the email address is right there" href="http://www.portlandonline.com/police/?c=30539">this page</a>. </em></p>
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		<title>How to Never See YouTube Comments Again</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/WpOGIL-C8Oc/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/01/12/how-to-never-see-youtube-comments-again/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 12 Jan 2009 07:45:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[comments]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[css]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[firefox]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[mozilla]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[programming]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[retarded]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[youtube]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=370</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I like me some internet videos now and again. Take this one, for example:
I thought it was pretty cool. Granted, it&#8217;s hardly an original idea and the text at the end is a bit ham-fisted. Still, I thought the presentation was kind of fun and the music worked well.
Then, like I always do, I made [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I like me some internet videos now and again. Take this one, for example:</p>
<a href="http://jaybill.com/2009/01/12/how-to-never-see-youtube-comments-again/"><em>Click here to view the embedded video.</em></a>
<p>I thought it was pretty cool. Granted, it&#8217;s hardly an original idea and the text at the end is a bit ham-fisted. Still, I thought the presentation was kind of fun and the music worked well.</p>
<p>Then, like I always do, I made a terrible mistake. I scrolled down. To&#8230;you know&#8230;look at the comments.   I&#8217;ll share a few choice ones so you don&#8217;t have to sift through them.</p>
<blockquote><p>holy fuckin shit<br />
imagine a planet that size and it was inhabitable. we wud greenhouse gas earth so fast then move over</p></blockquote>
<p>Yeah, imagine a planet that size indeed. Did you sleep through science class? Anything with that much mass would become a star. Even it if WERE a planet the gravity would be so high that you&#8217;d be squashed like a grape. Idiot. At least it inspired a sense of awe. Oh, then it inspired justified environmental destruction.</p>
<blockquote><p>You&#8217;re dumb if you think that everything in the entire universe was at one point concentrated into a.. I can&#8217;t even call it thing.. the size of a quark? Nty, I&#8217;ll go with God. Makes much more sense.</p></blockquote>
<p>Yes, of course. Much more sense. It&#8217;s all clear to me now. <em>Thank you for that.</em></p>
<p>The point here is that the YouTube comment area seems to bring out a special brand of stupid unmatched elsewhere in the known universe.  For some reason, though, I can&#8217;t not look at them if they are there. Looking at them ruins the video (and the rest of my day) for me. It&#8217;s a vicious cycle.</p>
<p>After watching this particular video, I actually said out loud, &#8220;You know, if I never saw another YouTube comment again, it would be too soon.&#8221; (Okay, I didn&#8217;t actually say it out loud, but still.)  As fortune would have it, I use <a title="it is an internet web browser program" href="http://mozilla.com">Firefox</a>. After a few minutes of research, I figured out how to banish YouTube comments forever. (Or until they significantly change the page structure of the video pages.)</p>
<p>How to do it:</p>
<ol>
<li>Use Mozilla Firefox. (Sorry, IE folks. Can&#8217;t help you.)</li>
<li>Find your profile directory. Instructions on this are <a title="they are totally here" href="http://support.mozilla.com/en-US/kb/Profiles">here</a>.</li>
<li>In your profile directory, there is a folder called <strong>chrome</strong>.</li>
<li>In the <strong>chrome</strong> directory, create a file called <strong>userContent.css<br />
</strong></li>
<li>Make the contents of <strong>userContent.css</strong> the following:</li>
</ol>
<div class="dean_ch" style="white-space: wrap;">
<ol>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="co2">#watch-tab-commentary-body{</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; visibility: hidden;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="br0">&#125;</span></div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p>Save the file and restart your browser. YouTube comments won&#8217;t show up. If you ever want them back, just temporarily rename or simply delete <strong>userContent.css<em> </em></strong>That&#8217;s all there is to it! I&#8217;ve had this working for a day or two now. I already feel smarter!</p>
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		<title>Ini files. The New (Old) Way to Configure Your Web Application</title>
		<link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/jaybilldotcom/~3/xK7nVW6k8yk/</link>
		<comments>http://jaybill.com/2009/01/06/ini-files-the-new-old-way-to-configure-your-web-application/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 06 Jan 2009 22:10:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jaybill McCarthy</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Updates]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[ini]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[php]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[xml]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[yaml]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://jaybill.com/?p=344</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[NOTE: As usual, my views are somewhat PHP-centric. A lot of this will apply generally. Some of it won&#8217;t. Act accordingly.
When it comes to providing web applications (or any application for that matter) with configuration information, I am a fan of putting as little as possible in configuration files.  In general, web applications talk to [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-355" title="It is totally a picture of an INI file. I made this." src="http://jaybill.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/ini_file.gif" alt="" width="316" height="244" /><em>NOTE: As usual, my views are somewhat PHP-centric. A lot of this will apply generally. Some of it won&#8217;t. Act accordingly.</em></p>
<p>When it comes to providing web applications (or any application for that matter) with configuration information, I am a fan of putting <em>as little as possible</em> in configuration files.  In general, web applications talk to a database of some kind. If that&#8217;s the case, configuration information belongs <em>in the database</em>. The only thing I think should really be in a configuration file is information about <em>how to connect to the database</em>.</p>
<p>This becomes particularly important when your app has to scale to multiple web servers. If you&#8217;ve got your configuration params (all of them) in a file, you&#8217;re going to have to change that file on <em>every web server</em> every time you make a change. Not fun.</p>
<p>I will concede that there are exceptions. If the application uses a logger (and all good apps should) then it would make sense to provide configuration information for that in a config file. As an aside, I always log to a file. It requires the least number of moving parts to get working. If you log to the database, for example, how do you log that you can&#8217;t connect to the database?</p>
<p>Let&#8217;s get back to the point, though. This isn&#8217;t an article about what should or should not be in configuration files. It&#8217;s about what format configuration files should use. Configuration files are in kind of a strange land in software development, in that this is information that must be read and understood by both computers <em>and</em> people.</p>
<p>There are quite a few options out there for config file formats.  Before we look at a few of them, let&#8217;s lay out what we&#8217;re looking for in a format:</p>
<ul>
<li>It must be simple for a (non-developer) human being to read, understand and modify, using anything that can edit plain text files</li>
<li>It must allow some kind of inline comments</li>
<li>There should be a way to group similar settings together (database, logger, cache, etc.)</li>
<li>Parsing it should be trivial and not require a lot of overhead. (Scripted applications will likely read it on every single execution)</li>
</ul>
<p>With those criteria in mind, let&#8217;s look at some of our options.</p>
<h3>XML</h3>
<p>Ah, XML. So useful. So adaptable. So utterly misunderstood. XML is useful for lots and lots of things. Configuration files? Probably not. First, it&#8217;s pretty easy to accidentally muck up an XML file. It&#8217;s also very easy to create a totally unwieldy and unnecessarily verbose file. Because XML is so flexible, there&#8217;s many, many ways to represent the same information. Let&#8217;s consider database connection information.</p>
<p>This:</p>
<div class="dean_ch" style="white-space: wrap;">
<ol>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="sc3"><span class="re1">&lt;database</span> <span class="re0">host</span>=<span class="st0">&quot;localhost&quot;</span> <span class="re0">name</span>=<span class="st0">&quot;myapp&quot;</span> <span class="re0">port</span>=<span class="st0">&quot;3306&quot;</span> <span class="re0">username</span>=<span class="st0">&quot;jaybill&quot;</span> <span class="re0">password</span>=<span class="st0">&quot;as34Hjhd&quot;</span><span class="re2">/&gt;</span></span></div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p>&#8230;is just as valid as this:</p>
<div class="dean_ch" style="white-space: wrap;">
<ol>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="sc3"><span class="re1">&lt;database<span class="re2">&gt;</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; <span class="sc3"><span class="re1">&lt;host<span class="re2">&gt;</span></span></span>localhost<span class="sc3"><span class="re1">&lt;/host<span class="re2">&gt;</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; <span class="sc3"><span class="re1">&lt;name<span class="re2">&gt;</span></span></span>myapp<span class="sc3"><span class="re1">&lt;/name<span class="re2">&gt;</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; <span class="sc3"><span class="re1">&lt;port<span class="re2">&gt;</span></span></span>3306<span class="sc3"><span class="re1">&lt;/port<span class="re2">&gt;</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&nbsp; <span class="sc3"><span class="re1">&lt;username<span class="re2">&gt;</span></span></span>jaybill<span class="sc3"><span class="re1">&lt;/username<span class="re2">&gt;</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; <span class="sc3"><span class="re1">&lt;password<span class="re2">&gt;</span></span></span>as34Hjhd<span class="sc3"><span class="re1">&lt;/password<span class="re2">&gt;</span></span></span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="sc3"><span class="re1">&lt;/database<span class="re2">&gt;</span></span></span></div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p>Which one is better?  Kind of hard to say. The first one is shorter, the second one might be easier to read. The point is that both are totally valid XML and an application developer could easily choose either format. There&#8217;s no standard. (As I type that, I&#8217;m certain someone is going comment about an XML standard for configration files.)</p>
<p>In the end, the main reason XML fails as a config file format is that XML parsers require a lot of overhead (both in terms of lines of code and computing horsepower). This makes them a poor choice for something you&#8217;re going to likely read <em>every time you load a page</em> in the case of a PHP-based web app.</p>
<p>I hear someone out there saying &#8220;But Jaybill! In <em>my</em> application, I just read the XML file once and cache the values!&#8221; To you I say, &#8220;That is dumb for like eight reasons. Do not do that.&#8221; Seriously, why do something process-intense, like parsing XML, cache the results and then keep checking to see if the cache is dirty, reread the XML and re-cache, when you could just use a simpler format and skip all that? Is it that you just want to be able to say your application uses XML? What are you, a 1998 dotcom startup?</p>
<h3>YAML</h3>
<p>I have to say I really challenge the need for <a title="I yam what I yam." href="http://yaml.org">YAML</a>&#8217;s existence, let alone its use as a configuration format. It&#8217;s trying to solve a problem that doesn&#8217;t exist. At best, it&#8217;s trying to solve a problem that&#8217;s been solved by other formats. Perhaps not surprisingly, it&#8217;s the format that <a title="* sigh *" href="http://jaybill.com/2008/01/02/thank-you-ruby-on-rails-now-get-out-of-here/">Ruby on Rails</a> uses for config files.</p>
<p>Let&#8217;s look at an example in the form of a Ruby on Rails database.yml file:</p>
<div class="dean_ch" style="white-space: wrap;">
<ol>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"> &nbsp;development:</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; adapter: <a href="http://www.php.net/mysql"><span class="kw3">mysql</span></a></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; encoding: utf8</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; database: myapp</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&nbsp; &nbsp; username: jaybill</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; password: as34Hjhd</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; host: localhost</div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p>&#8220;Wait!&#8221; I can hear you say. &#8220;That&#8217;s actually pretty simple!&#8221; Sure it is. That&#8217;s because it&#8217;s properly indented. What bothers me about YAML is that readability depends <em>entirely</em> on proper indentation. Look at this:</p>
<div class="dean_ch" style="white-space: wrap;">
<ol>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">development:</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">adapter: <a href="http://www.php.net/mysql"><span class="kw3">mysql</span></a></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">encoding: utf8</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">database: myapp</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2"><span class="re1">username: jaybill</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">password: as34Hjhd</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">host: localhost</div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p>All I did was take out the indentation. It&#8217;s now entirely unclear that &#8220;development&#8221; is a section header and not just an value that hasn&#8217;t been set.</p>
<p>YAML can also get <a title="I hope you have some time on your hands." href="http://yaml.org/spec/1.2/">bafflingly complicated</a>. Amusingly, in many ways it&#8217;s <em>more</em> complex than XML, which the authors argue it can functionally supplant in certain domains. In effect, this means there could be even more overhead in parsing a YAML file there is parsing an XML file.</p>
<p>I should note that even in the Rails community, there&#8217;s an element that wants to get away from YAML. Considering that what they&#8217;re using it for is about 1% of what YAML actually does, this is not surprising.</p>
<p>There&#8217;s also the fact that for whatever reason, YAML support in PHP is abysmal. Personally, this is a deal-breaker. Sure, there are <a title="Syck!" href="http://devzone.zend.com/article/2585-using-yaml-with-php-and-pecl">examples</a> floating around on how to do it, but they&#8217;re not pretty. There&#8217;s a PECL extension that wraps something called &#8220;syck&#8221; which actually reads the file. I&#8217;d tell you more about how it works but I gave up on installing it after an hour or so.</p>
<h3>INI</h3>
<p>Ini files have been around since at <em>least</em> 1981.  They&#8217;re simple and they work. They&#8217;re nothing more than a set of key/value pairs (optionally) broken up into sections. They are ideally suited for configuration information because that was and always has been thier primary purpose.</p>
<p>It doesn&#8217;t get much simpler:</p>
<div class="dean_ch" style="white-space: wrap;">
<ol>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="br0">&#91;</span>database<span class="br0">&#93;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">host=localhost</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">name=myapp</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="re1">port=<span class="nu0">3306</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">username=jaybill</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">password=as34Hjhd</div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p>Because they are so simple, they are very computationally cheap to load. Additionally, PHP has a built in function to parse them, called, shockingly, <a title="parse that sucker!" href="http://us3.php.net/parse_ini_file">parse_ini_file()</a>. This means you can go from a config.ini file to a multidimensional array in <em>one line of code</em>. Try that with an XML file, even using something like <a title="such as a simple xml" href="http://us3.php.net/simplexml">SimpleXML</a>.</p>
<p>In terms of speed, the data in an INI file can be loaded and usable <em>four times faster</em> than an XML file.  To determine this and to demonstrate the code complexity (or lack thereof) in getting data from XML files versus INI files, consider the following script:</p>
<div class="dean_ch" style="white-space: wrap;">
<ol>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="kw2">&lt;?php</span> </div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="kw2">function</span> timer_start<span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span><span class="br0">&#123;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp;<span class="re0">$mtime</span> = <a href="http://www.php.net/microtime"><span class="kw3">microtime</span></a><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&nbsp; &nbsp;<span class="re0">$mtime</span> = <a href="http://www.php.net/explode"><span class="kw3">explode</span></a><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="st0">&quot; &quot;</span>,<span class="re0">$mtime</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp;<span class="re0">$mtime</span> = <span class="re0">$mtime</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="nu0">1</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span> + <span class="re0">$mtime</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="nu0">0</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp;<span class="kw1">return</span> &nbsp;<span class="re0">$mtime</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="br0">&#125;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2"><span class="kw2">function</span> timer_end<span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$starttime</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span><span class="br0">&#123;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp;<span class="re0">$mtime</span> = <a href="http://www.php.net/microtime"><span class="kw3">microtime</span></a><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp;<span class="re0">$mtime</span> = <a href="http://www.php.net/explode"><span class="kw3">explode</span></a><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="st0">&quot; &quot;</span>,<span class="re0">$mtime</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp;<span class="re0">$mtime</span> = <span class="re0">$mtime</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="nu0">1</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span> + <span class="re0">$mtime</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="nu0">0</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp;<span class="re0">$endtime</span> = <span class="re0">$mtime</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&nbsp; &nbsp;<span class="kw1">return</span> <span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$endtime</span> - <span class="re0">$starttime</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="br0">&#125;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="kw2">function</span> average_array<span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$a</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span><span class="br0">&#123;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="kw1">return</span> <a href="http://www.php.net/array_sum"><span class="kw3">array_sum</span></a><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$a</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>/<a href="http://www.php.net/count"><span class="kw3">count</span></a><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$a</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2"><span class="br0">&#125;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="re0">$tests</span> = <span class="nu0">1000</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="re0">$results</span> = <a href="http://www.php.net/array"><span class="kw3">array</span></a><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="re0">$config</span> = <a href="http://www.php.net/array"><span class="kw3">array</span></a><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="co1">// xml with attributes</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="kw1">for</span><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$x</span> = <span class="nu0">0</span>; <span class="re0">$x</span> &lt; <span class="re0">$tests</span>; <span class="re0">$x</span>++<span class="br0">&#41;</span><span class="br0">&#123;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="re0">$start</span> = timer_start<span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="re0">$xml</span> = simplexml_load_file<span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="st0">&#8216;config.xml&#8217;</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="kw1">foreach</span><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$xml</span>-&gt;<span class="me1">attributes</span><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span> <span class="kw1">as</span> <span class="re0">$key</span> =&gt; <span class="re0">$val</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span><span class="br0">&#123;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="re0">$config</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="st0">&#8216;xml_attributes&#8217;</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="re0">$key</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span> = <span class="br0">&#40;</span>string<span class="br0">&#41;</span><span class="re0">$val</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="br0">&#125;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="re0">$results</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="st0">&#8216;xml_attributes&#8217;</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span> = timer_end<span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$start</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2"><span class="br0">&#125;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="co1">// xml with elements</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="kw1">for</span><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$x</span> = <span class="nu0">0</span>; <span class="re0">$x</span> &lt; <span class="re0">$tests</span>; <span class="re0">$x</span>++<span class="br0">&#41;</span><span class="br0">&#123;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="re0">$start</span> = timer_start<span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="re0">$xml</span> = simplexml_load_file<span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="st0">&#8216;config2.xml&#8217;</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="kw1">foreach</span><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$xml</span> <span class="kw1">as</span> <span class="re0">$key</span> =&gt; <span class="re0">$val</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span><span class="br0">&#123;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="re0">$config</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="st0">&#8216;xml_elements&#8217;</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="re0">$key</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span> = <span class="br0">&#40;</span>string<span class="br0">&#41;</span><span class="re0">$val</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="br0">&#125;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="re0">$results</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="st0">&#8216;xml_elements&#8217;</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span> = timer_end<span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$start</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="br0">&#125;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="co1">// ini file</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="kw1">for</span><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$x</span> = <span class="nu0">0</span>; <span class="re0">$x</span> &lt; <span class="re0">$tests</span>; <span class="re0">$x</span>++<span class="br0">&#41;</span><span class="br0">&#123;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="re0">$start</span> = timer_start<span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="co1">// This is the *one line* of code you need to get an multidimensional array from an ini file:</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="re0">$ini_file</span> = <a href="http://www.php.net/parse_ini_file"><span class="kw3">parse_ini_file</span></a><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="st0">&quot;config.ini&quot;</span>,<span class="kw2">true</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>; </div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="re0">$config</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="st0">&#8216;ini_file&#8217;</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span> = <span class="re0">$ini_file</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="st0">&#8216;database&#8217;</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &nbsp; <span class="re0">$results</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="st0">&#8216;ini_file&#8217;</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span> = timer_end<span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$start</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="br0">&#125;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">?&gt;&lt;html&gt;&lt;head&gt;&lt;title&gt;Config <a href="http://www.php.net/file"><span class="kw3">File</span></a> Load Timer&lt;/title&gt;&lt;/head&gt;&lt;body&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&lt;h1&gt;Config <a href="http://www.php.net/file"><span class="kw3">File</span></a> Load Timer&lt;/h1&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;XML with attributes:&lt;/b&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&lt;br /&gt;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;?php <a href="http://www.php.net/echo"><span class="kw3">echo</span></a> average_array<span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$results</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="st0">&#8216;xml_attributes&#8217;</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>; ?&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;XML with elements:&lt;/b&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&lt;br /&gt;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;?php <a href="http://www.php.net/echo"><span class="kw3">echo</span></a> average_array<span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$results</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="st0">&#8216;xml_elements&#8217;</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>; ?&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&lt;p&gt;&lt;b&gt;INI <a href="http://www.php.net/file"><span class="kw3">File</span></a>:&lt;/b&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&lt;br /&gt;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;?php <a href="http://www.php.net/echo"><span class="kw3">echo</span></a> average_array<span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$results</span><span class="br0">&#91;</span><span class="st0">&#8216;ini_file&#8217;</span><span class="br0">&#93;</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>; ?&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;&lt;/p&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp;</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&lt;p&gt;&lt;pre&gt;&lt;?php <a href="http://www.php.net/print_r"><span class="kw3">print_r</span></a><span class="br0">&#40;</span><span class="re0">$config</span><span class="br0">&#41;</span>; ?&gt;&lt;/pre&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&lt;/body&gt;&lt;/html&gt;</div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p>Here&#8217;s config.xml:</p>
<div class="dean_ch" style="white-space: wrap;">
<ol>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&lt;database host=<span class="st0">&quot;localhost&quot;</span> name=<span class="st0">&quot;myapp&quot;</span> port=<span class="st0">&quot;3306&quot;</span> username=<span class="st0">&quot;jaybill&quot;</span> password=<span class="st0">&quot;as34Hjhd&quot;</span>/&gt;</div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p>Here&#8217;s config2.xml:</p>
<div class="dean_ch" style="white-space: wrap;">
<ol>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&lt;database&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &lt;host&gt;localhost&lt;/host&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &lt;name&gt;myapp&lt;/name&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &lt;port&gt;<span class="nu0">3306</span>&lt;/port&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">&nbsp; &lt;username&gt;jaybill&lt;/username&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&nbsp; &lt;password&gt;as34Hjhd&lt;/password&gt;</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">&lt;/database&gt;</div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p>And here&#8217;s config.ini:</p>
<div class="dean_ch" style="white-space: wrap;">
<ol>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="br0">&#91;</span>database<span class="br0">&#93;</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">host=localhost</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">name=myapp</div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1"><span class="re1">port=<span class="nu0">3306</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li2">
<div class="de2">username=jaybill</span></div>
</li>
<li class="li1">
<div class="de1">password=as34Hjhd</div>
</li>
</ol>
</div>
<p>All we&#8217;re doing here is loading each of these files 1000 times, timing each load and averaging the results. On my machine, I get the following results:</p>
<ul>
<li>XML with attributes: <strong>0.0004 seconds</strong></li>
<li>XML with elements: <strong>0.0003 seconds</strong></li>
<li>INI File: <strong>0.0001 seconds</strong></li>
</ul>
<p>Granted, these are really small amounts of time. If you&#8217;ve got a high-traffic web site, however, every little bit counts. Considering, as we said earlier, that a config file will probably get loaded with each page view, the load times (and CPU usage) can add up pretty quickly. We&#8217;re also talking about very simple configurations here, obviously, but you get the idea.</p>
<p>INI files are simple, easy to use, easy to process and have been around for a very, very long time. Newer formats may beckon us with their shiny features and whatnot, but all in all, INI files are hard to beat for simple configuration files.</p>
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