I don’t know, and I am still thinking about it yet I am thinking about it almost everyday. I really feel it is the right thing to do, and I have yet to speak with the recruiter yet, so maybe I am just working myself up thinking about all this, and I still have time to think about it….

I am open to any suggestions that people have to offer.

“Be not afraid of growing slowly, be only afraid of standing still.” -Unknown

I will definitely share information that I find along the way, and I basically have to study to write out my grocery list, but I am sure it will all start coming naturally!

So, in the time that I play my facebook games or sit down with my cereal and my macbook in the morning I am promising myself that I will not just stop doing the things that make me happy because I feel like I have no time. When I started this blog I was dealing with a lot of things in my life and it helped me to vent. I love this and I love the people that take the time to read what I have to say whether it is 10 people or 2 people.

On that note, with my randomness that everyone just loves, I have something that bothers me from time to time and I find myself thinking about it quite often. Yes it’s one of those things that some people love to talk about and other’s cringe at the thought, Religion. My religious views are pretty different from just about anyone that I know, with the exception of a few people. Most of my friends are pretty proud Christians and the other half rarely speak of religion at all. I grew up in a non religious family, and when my mother traveled towards religions she levitated towards Buddhism. My step-father was something like Lutheran (I am not familiar with any of the politics of Christianity, like Lutheran, Baptist etc…).

Because of this as you must imagine I learned a lot about Buddhism and I have always been fascinated by it. Yet I have my own belief’s therefore I really don’t fall under the classification of any one religion. The Dalai Lama is my hero and I think that he is one of the greatest people that ever walked this earth. I love all the philosophies of Buddhism, pure compassion being one with everything and not thinking that I am superior to any living being. I do believe in Karma. I think that afterlife is more than just heaven and hell, but I do believe those places exist. I do go to church on Easter Sunday with my daughter’s and Daniel. My children say grace every night, on their own; they are brought up as Christians. Yet, I don’t think I am a Buddhist or a Christian or even a Hindu, yet I believe in all aspects of religion.

Yet I am judged by those closest to me because I don’t believe exactly how they believe. Yet in Buddhism you are not to judge and this is the same in Christianity, but even those that are most religious judge me because I don’t fall under any specific category. The Dalai Lama once said “My Religion is Kindness.” This is why I love him and find him so wise.

All I have to say is this I believe in ALL paths to God.

So an update besides all that I started a new diet on January 4th. I have lost 16 pounds. I lost a lot in the very beginning because I completely restructured my diet and started taking an awesome supplement, resveratrol. I am getting myself a rec membership for my birthday so I can start working out from 6:30 am to 7:30 am every morning, mainly because this is the only free hour I have during the day. All my “free” time is spent doing school work… so what is lost…. I will tell you, my love for this blog hasn’t died… it’s my time and photography, I haven’t been able to take pictures in so long I can’t even tell you.

So Stella needs to get her groove back, and I am hoping that in all this I can, and I am starting with the blog, I am back! So welcome back into my life and my world, I have missed everyone so much.

Some people may wonder why?? Why blog… why share the randomness in your life? Because… it is a great way to unwind, and even release things that may bother you, and even if no one was to read it, it is like once you type those words you have released them…

So as the days progress I can update everyone just a little about the changes in life but for today I am happy to have come back and I already feel so much better!

www.textsfromlastnight.com, and yes apparently they have an app for Iphone and Blackberry… which I have yet to go that far… but I love it, it is a random genius in my eyes. We all text with people back and forth… but when someone takes your text and forwards it to this website it becomes the humor that brightens my boring day!!

They enclose the area codes that the text originated from with the text, I guess this improves the ability to search all the texts from your area, and then you will wonder why everyone around you is really insane… lol!! So because I am bored I will share some of the random texts that are posted on the site … the most recently added… (I think I want to find some friends that can entertain me with their texts… because my friends are sure not holding up to some of these…)

(847): Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party

(+77): her last google searches are ‘cheap african safari’ and ‘what does lion taste like’

(601): I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.

(310): i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son

(858): last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell… when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said “whose that? sounds asian”

(423): come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again

(562): How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?

(330): Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking

(630): I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don’t even remember eating spaghetti.

(505): With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum

Ok… so yes this entertains me… and I love it. I find it very humerous that people get these in their inbox on there phone, and yes I am slighly jealous. I can get some pretty funny stuff, but never this good. Ok so I am random, and if I don’t entertain you… well at least I am entertaining myself!

On a side note I am sick… and I feel like crap. I have been thinking a lot about my blog, but I have been so overwhelmed with life that I have been a real big slack ass! I am so manic that I think I have to get these thoughts under control, and I also have to committ some more me time in my life. Between the Holidays and my kids, and the 275+ kids we provide Christmas to through my job it is a very busy time of the year! I start back to my classes January 6 th… and I am needing to figure out how to balance my life, and I need to figure it out quickly… if there are any suggestions out there… please…. throw them my way….

Random – Woman signing off for now… *muah*

I hit buy it now and within 15 minutes I recieved my invite. So I set it all up. Now I haven’t really used it too much from my phone. I haven’t yet called anyone… but I LOVE the voicemail feature. I have set it up to over ride my voicemail from Tmobile. Anytime someone leaves a message I get an email, and it tells me what they said in text, and I still have the option to play it and listen to it. Now, let me tell you why this is so very awesome. I hate voicemail and I rarely check it. So when I do there is generally 14+ messages. So whats the point right… they are then old and really pointless. By the time I listen to them I have probably spoke with that person or texted them several times. With this I don’t have to check them, they come through like a text message and my life is easier, and I don’t have to fuss with something I didn’t like doing in the first place. THANK YOU GOOGLE!

I also get a cool little widget that I can put here on the blog and you can call me… as if you wanted to hear my sexy voice, nope you are not ready for that, trust me, lol! I get a google phone number in case I don’t want to give out my real number, keep the stalkers at bay… great idea! I can screen all calls, and have the ability to block numbers… awesome feature from a cell… LOVE IT!

I am quite impressed with google and all there little gadgets and apps that they have. I have been using goog-411 for awhile, and have it saved into my phone, love it. It is super simple and always gives me what I need super quick, I used to use 1-800-Free-411, and omg that sucked!

I am still playing around with google voice, I have set some special voicemail messages to specific people, which I think is great, and I may abuse this feature when someone pisses me off… they probably won’t want to call me… but I recommend this to anyone that has a capable phone… and if you don’t it’s probably time for you to upgrade anyways… if you are excited about this ( I do have the ability to excite people.. in many ways, haha!) go ahead and check out ebay for an invite, spend the 1.80 and get yours, I am glad I did… otherwise make sure you request your invite, if you are one of those patient people.

It is fine when a game is played to pass time, when you have down time… but when you play a game at work, like Cafe World, my personal favorite… and you realize when you get home that you have something “cooking” in your cafe … and you log on to make sure you get it off the oven before it goes bad. THIS IS A FREAKIN PROBLEM!

If I play a game at work to pass time, I should not be that worried if some virtual food goes bad… what is really going on….

So… I am going to knock down the amount of games to maybe 3 at the most… and I am going to see how that works…. I want to know… so you know someone with Facebook game addictions? This really is crazy… like I barely have time to do anything, and this blog has been neglected for far to long…. I have such an urge to go out during the weekend and evenings and start back with the photography… I must reclaim my life.

So… as of next week…. I start back to the gym, and I start prioritizing my life, there needs to be some balance to my life… this is something I have no doubt about!

Recently, life hasn’t just handed me a lemon, life gave me the whole damn lemon tree! On October 23rd I went to the ER with horrible ear pain, and I was sure it was an ear infection. Let me tell you, I would have rather gone through natural child birth all over than experience the pain I was feeling! After sitting in the waiting area for about 3 hours I finally went back, and they looked in my ear and said that it didn’t appear to be infected, but I did have fluid behind it from my sinus’s draining! Then came the Morphine…. and an hour later when I was still in pain… the percocet. They ended up sending me home with pain drops and cough medicine.

Two days later…. on my daughter’s 3rd Birthday, after the party, I went back to the ER, the pain was worse and I had lost hearing in my left ear. The brightside was that I didn’t wait as long to go back. Guess what, my ear was infected, surprise surprise! They said my ear drum was intact, gave me a prescription for antibiotics and percocets and informed me it may be a little while before I can hear again.

So, I suffered… 7 days of antibiotics and I will not even go into the drainage coming from my ear. I started having horrible migraines and I was in constant pain… so on 11/3 I went back to the ER. A four hour wait to be called back and when I got back there, wow they took me seriously this time. So bring on the Morphine, yet again… IV antibiotics… and the amazement of the doctors, and looks on their faces when I told them this was my 3rd trip to the ER in 12 days about the same thing, yet it has worsened. So it was time for a CT Scan. That came back not so great. What happens when they don’t treat an er infection properly is Mastoiditis. The infection moves into the bone behind the ear, the Mastoid bone. This can ultimately lead to brain absesses, and then death. So I have now been released into the care of The Ear Nose and Throat Doctors and Surgeons. I am taking antibiotics both orally and in my ear, plus the pain meds. I go back this Friday and pray the infection is gone, because the only other option is them cutting my head open and cutting the infected part of the bone out.

I guess one main thing I want you to be aware of is, remember this … even though the cost of medical care is increasing, it doesn’t mean that doctor’s IQ’s are!!! All it would have taken was the right antibiotic from the first visit and I would have never had to go through this.

When life gives you lemons, they say you should make lemonade… well I am not thirsty…
When life hands me lemons…. I squeeze them in someone’s eye and run…. the excitement is worth it!

Ahhh… a challenge, that sounds fun. I love randomness, and this was like a game of randomness… so I recieved the picture and would like to share it with everyone, because it is the reason for the blog today!

Ok… so Shauna wants me to explore my creativity … this is what she gives me… Banana’s! Well when I look at this picture the first thing that comes to mind is an age old question. “Does size really matter?” And so many say no, others say yes, when their significant others aren’t around. So who wants the truth? Is there really any women that say size doesn’t matter and they mean it? Personally anytime I have said it, it has been a lie. It does matter. If you are small the chances that you will satify me are pretty slim… and now I am not going to strictly pick on “smaller” men because you can be too big too!! I for sure don’t want to be scared when you drop your pants and think “OMG, where are you going to try and put that?”

There is a huge relevance in size… too small is honestly a waste of my time and yours, too big is something that results in more pain less pleasure… so what do you think, does size matter to you? Is it really in the “motion of the ocean?” Because honestly you may be able to “work it” but if it can’t reach certain spots you can work your ass right off of me….. just sayin….

And my question is…. Shauna, why the hell do you have this picture in your cell phone?