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Sometimes in the storm, it is hard to see the light…

ironmen — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:31:42 +0000

Recently through the school holidays we went on a camping holiday for a couple of weeks, it is something my family and I do every year. The camp grounds are nestled along the side of an estuary and the beach is very tidal. At high tide there is water as far as the eye can see, at low tide the nearest water is almost a mile away and you could be forgiven if you thought you had woken up in a desert. A couple of years back, we came to the same camp ground after Christmas. The first week was great, the sun was out, children were enjoying catching up with their friends and everyone was having a good time. Then one day, we noticed that the wind was starting to pick up. I remember the night before, I was watching the mouth of the estuary, as the fishermen all moved their vessels into a sheltered bay. I come from a small fishing village and whenever the fishing boats moved, you knew something big was on its way. I went to bed that night thinking “not good... not good at all”. The storm started in the middle of night, heavy rain and winds hammered the tent, showing just how powerful the elements could be. We couldn’t sleep through it as the winds rushed at the tent, trying to ground it down, mixed in with pelting rain – it was terrible. By morning the campground was a mess, over half the tents had been swallowed up by the storm. The winds had simply broken the sides and spines of over 30 tents. My wife and my children went back home as the storm showed no signs of letting up however, as our heavy canvas tent was already soaked and impossible to pack up, I resolved to remain to ensure its survival. I put 6 extra guy ropes on each side, then I double pegged the ropes and walked around it every half hour to ensure every peg was hammered in securely. I also took my mallet in the pouring rain and walked around other peoples tents and helped them, hammering and trying to save their tents. The storm was relentless and tents that had already received a battering would not take any more and all of a sudden they would just give up and collapse. Others were blown over, while the pegs kept them nailed to the ground, their poles had been broken and they were no longer able to stand by themselves - many people lost a lot of equipment that year. The only way our tent survived this huge storm, was through vigilant checking and constant reinforcement. In a day or two the storm finally ran its course and the sun appeared for the first time, it was a glorious relief. Unfortunately out of an entire campground only a few tents (including ours) survived. The camp itself had gone through an extreme experience and as a result we became a closer and friendlier community, with the common bond of having survived the storm. Not long ago, one of our senior youth ministers spoke to our church and said that everything might be plain sailing at the moment, but be prepared the storms. I have to admit at the time I thought my life was pretty sweet and I couldn’t see anything going astray... funny how that happens, getting caught off guard and blindsided by things, how life throws you a curveball and it wasn’t through arrogance but just a complete unawareness until it hit - I didn’t notice the fishing boats moving into shelter. Life is full of these moments some avoidable, some not. It matters more about how we as men weather these storms, how we behave around our wives and children, how we deal with pain, hurt and loss, than the circumstances of the storm. And it matters that, through it all your faith is secure in the knowledge that we serve a mighty and powerful God who said he will never leave us - Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Deuteronomy 31:6 and ...For He Himself has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." Hebrews 13:5 and through this you will be able to navigate the storm with His strength rather than your weakness, as it tests your faith. There is a saying... “It doesn't matter how hard you hit the ground or how many times you have fallen. What counts the most is how you get up.” In my circumstances, I am ashamed to say that I have tried to navigate my life’s storms (business crisis, dysfunctional relationships, marriage upheaval, substance abuse etc) on my own. I was clutching onto whatever I could, not realising that the storm was a strengthening process for my own good. As I was stretched, I tried to make it my own way but it wasn’t until I was at the end of myself that I finally admitted that I needed help. I realised that I was broken, beaten and battered. However I had to go through this to understand my failings and weaknesses, in order to fully rely on the Lord, and to fully praise Him in the storm. And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelation 21:4 Friend, did the storm catch you off-guard? Had it loosened the ropes, unearthed the pegs that you thought were so secure? Did you find yourself crossing that line that you never thought you would? Is that when weakness first looked upon you as a worthy subject and tried to ply you with vices like drugs, drink, women, pornography, violence... the list is endless.

Sometimes the choices we make, define us…

ironmen — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 20:22:54 +0000

I recently went back to my hometown where I grew up - a small village up North that sits nestled along the sides of a river. At one end of village there is an estuary leading to open water and at the other end are bush clad hills. In the last century they used the river to transport logs and cargo. At that end of the river, if you know where to look, there is an old overgrown graveyard, planted in the hills, it looks over the river and holds the remains of many of the men that lost their lives on the river or ocean waves. The river is tidal and had come in and gone out hundreds of times, before I returned that day. The last time I had been here was when I was about 17, I am now dangerously close to 40. When I was growing up in the village, my friends and I, used to rule the area. We were big fish in a very small pond and were into all manner of things, some good and some bad. In most small towns you have a few things in common, a gas station, a local store, school, takeaways and a Publican. Not a lot of opportunities for employment, not a lot of opportunities full stop. I struggled constantly under the rule of a man that also struggled with the bottle and his internal demons. This man is my father and I yearned for his love and approval, but instead received his violence, bitterness and jealously over my mother’s love for me. It finally got to a point where I could no longer endure the abrupt change in emotions that each day brought. It was time to move on, the tide was about to change, and as the sea once again drained itself away from the shores of the village, so did I.

Sometimes when Father’s Day comes round…

ironrodd — Sun, 30 Aug 2009 10:03:35 +0000

For some "Father's Day" means scar's and ugly memories which have yet to be fully expunged from hearts or at best forgiven, so that we can move on and be free. For others, maybe it gives pleasant memories of fun filled times with a loving father. Or perhaps it is an empty hole because they have never known a father either through death or because their father absconded and was never truly known. Now we find ourselves in the same position as our fathers had been in relation to us. In a place where we are charged with the responsibility to "give" to our children in the way, we have been or would have loved to have been able to receive from our Dad’s. What do you want to leave as a memory for your children versus what are your memories of your father?

Sometimes, unless we let our guard down…

ironmen — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 10:31:01 +0000

Sometimes unless we let our guard down, (which is one of the hardest things to do as men) we can never really move on in the Christian life. Our Christian experience seems dry, praise and worship doesn’t break-though as we fight to take control. Through my own experiences I have found the most amount of blessing came at a time that I had nothing left, physically and emotionally I cried out, it had felt like things were snapping and breaking inside of me. I no longer had it in me to even put up a guard – I was completely defenceless and open, and maybe that is where we as men need to be, we need to be in a state of brokenness. The truth is that when we let our guard down and expose our hearts we begin to realise what kind of men we really are - it is only at that precise point that we able to allow Him to take full control. Once fully committed you tend to wonder - what was I waiting for, why did I hold back? What was I thinking…?

Sometimes when we sell our souls…

ironmen — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 05:45:47 +0000

When I consider some of the less than intelligent things that I have done in my life, I am often reminded of the example that as men, we set for our family. What kind of message are we sending our children? We don’t want serious character flaws in our kid’s lives, yet we get upset with them when they are only portraying some of the flaws that we have. Sometimes we as fathers are put to the test, some of us think we are great Dads and try hard for our kids, but it is always the little things in our everyday life that let us down. For example, it is how we react under pressure and stress, how we react behind peoples backs, how we react when your youngest child wants to play a game with you.