Significance and Serenity: What is your life about?

Seductive Fear

2010-03-10T09:03:00.000-08:00

Sometime ago I began reading fictional stories again as a way to engage my imagination and keep it alive. I've discovered that the philosophies of the authors come through the stories and find that certain authors I find philosophically intriguing. This past week I was finishing a series my brother-in-law recommended I read and part of the book caused me to stop and reread it a dozen times. I was fascinated by the description of fear that one character gave to another and I would like to share those words with you below.

We all experience fear throughout our lives. The only difference is in how we each respond to it. Raymond E. Feist, in his book The Kings Buccaneer, gives a very different view of fear than I think is commonly held. We normally see our fears as horrible, ugly, scary things and the way he describes it nothing is further from the truth. He describes them as lovely and seductive, which you will see as you read his words below.

"Men love their fears. That is why they hold onto them so tightly... Fear isn't a terrible-looking thing but something lovely and seductive." pg 162-163

"Fear holds us and binds us and keeps us from growing. It kills a small piece of us each day. It holds us to what we know and keeps us from what's possible, and that is our worst enemy. Fear doesn't announce itself; it's disguised, and it's subtle. It's choosing the safe course; most of us feel we have rational reasons to avoid taking risks. The brave man is not he one without fear but the one who does what he must despite being afraid. To succeed, you must be willing to risk total failure; you must learn this..." pg 155

"Something in you holds you to your fear, something in you binds it to you as a mother or lover. You must confront that fear and banish it; you must embrace it and let it devour you. Only then will you know your fear; only then can you hear yourself." pg 156

***Italics added***

Simplicity in Motion

2010-03-02T14:42:00.000-08:00

I am going to Spain carrying less than I would take out into the wilderness to survive for a week at work in the summer. An Anasazi summer pack is quite small and this summer I know I will be taking less than most anyone else I know would take for a week... It is liberating to say the least... with less luggage what concerns do I have - what limitations in where I may go - very few...

As we make decisions in our lives it is as if the whole world moves to accommodate us. If we sit on the fence and wait for every blade of grass to be in the proper place before we step down from the fence and begin our walk we will be there for a long time. It is only as we move that the world around us begins to move with us, around us, and at times even against us. If we do not move everything around us continues on it's way with little mind that we would walk in a given direction. If we do not sow we shall not reap... if we do not act we cannot become... if we do not attempt we cannot achieve...

The world does not accommodate wishes but dreams in action. If you envision something and then set out to achieve it you will be surprised at the opportunities and experiences which will unfold before you. They will be comprised of people, places, things, thoughts, and ideas that sitting at home would never have crossed your mind as possible but in the reality of motion they become possible. It may not happen as you thought it would, or even at all, but it will be a rich and magical experience to the one walking the path. It is as in dance - the power and passion of dance is not in the logical thought-out predefinition of every step but in the passionate motion of the dancers and their oneness with one another. Yes we must plan out what will occur but we must also be willing to go with the steps as they come naturally to us. We must be able to start the dance of life and then adjust as our partners change, the tempo increases or decreases. We must be able to respond to the music we hear. It has been said that we all march to the beat of a different drummer. What is the beat of your drummer and where is it taking you?

Tonight I fly out of Phoenix to NYC, up to DC, and then on to Spain. I have drastically simplified my life in previous weeks and find life without all the possessions which have surrounded me for so long quite liberating. I have learned and experienced that over time our possessions come to possess us. What would you do with time you spend on upkeep if it were suddenly returned to you? Would you know what to do with it? Without tons of possessions and monthly membership fees you would be surprised how much less you need work to live comfortably, luxuriously, and even to travel extensively. When you have thousands and thousands of dollars worth of bills and maintenance fees it makes it hard to take a day off. How many of those possessions and how many of those bills are truly necessary? What is your goal in life - to be comfortable? or to pursue your dreams and the purposes of your heart? What possessions take you towards your those purposes of heart and which ones are simply the comforts and pleasures of life but that are in and of themselves empty and void?

I have talked to many people as of late who are simplifying their lives and ridding themselves of much of the excess weight they have heaped upon their own shoulders over the years. Even in a slowing, and sometimes dead, economy they have found relief from the stress associated with the upkeep of so many possessions and memberships. They have shared with me that they have found more time to do those things that matter to them in their lives... that they are living better lives and that their health is improving as a result. They are rediscovering their connection to all that is around them. Rediscovering their spirituality...

I sense a deep spiritual movement underlying everything going wrong in our country, and in the world. People are searching for something deeper and trying to find it through the existing corporate structures and ideologies. They are burning themselves out and finally, after all else has failed in many instances, turning to other methods. The movement is more spiritual than religious in nature. Everyone I have talked to as of late is pursuing their spirituality and many are finding peace as a result.

My spiritual journey is taking me to Spain right now. To experience a new paradigm and a new way of life. Going to Spain has allowed me to simplify my life and focus on what matters most - family, intuition, spirituality... It is quite odd that after having been so engaged in the pursuit of success or any other worldly thing that when we actually have time free again we don't know how to fill it. I am still working on that and find myself constantly looking at the moments before me wondering what I could possibly do to fill the time; what could I do that pursues the thoughts of my heart? I am not used to being able to contemplate such things as I usually, at least when in the city, engage myself in activity to the point I can do nothing else and have no time to do anything else.

This week has been a flood of thoughts and learnings but only a small fraction of them are represented here today. I am ready for this change, this adventure, this exploration... It is time I set off into the world again to explore and experience the vast array of humanity surrounding us. Often I think we all see the world as a small and simple place, and in some ways it is, but in many others it is much more vast and diverse than I think we can ever comprehend. It takes a certain openness of mind to understand, comprehend, experience, and fully appreciate the vast uncomprehensive simplicity of it all. Everything is connected and yet it is all separate. We are a unique combination of perfect harmony and simultaneous discord.

Over the next number of months I will share what I can of the experience there and the thoughts which come to me in my explorations of humanity.

Communicating with Nature

2010-02-17T23:28:00.000-08:00

Regardless of whether or not you believe we can communicate with nature I ask that you reflect not upon the story itself or the experience as much as the lessons contained and taught within the words below.

Tonight at about 11:00 pm I took a walk with Aussie, my faithful Australian Cattle Dog (ACD) who is a red-heeler/blue-heeler mix, and walked about a mile down to the end of a snowy road in the dark. As I walked I began to realize how my weight was always slightly forward on my feet and how from the inside I pushed myself slightly against the world in front of me... it was a physical pressure that I could feel from the inside... as if I were pushing everything in front of me out of my way or that I was at least pressed against the pressure of it.

As I recognized that I took a deep breath and slowed my step a tiny bit so I wasn't pushing against the world in front of me... it was as if the trees had a presence to them and I could feel it... I was not simply entering their presence but pushing my way into it. It had a very real feeling to it. Over and over again I slipped back into my faster walk pushing against the world... I realized that this is a lot how I go through life... always pushing the envelope just a little.. trying to do things a little faster in the face of all around me. I realized that I was forcing my way through life instead of simply being in life. I was not truly aware of my surroundings because of my distraction to go and arrive somewhere in the near or distant future.

Upon one such occasion the presence I felt was much larger than myself and I looked up and as I slowed my pace saw the huge pines before me. They must have been there for centuries and then began a dialogue... perhaps you say we cannot speak to trees nor they to us but I disagree... there have been ample studies that show that people who talk to their plants have vastly different, and more successful, gardens than those who do not... I believe that all things are connected, perhaps that is just me, and that all things have intelligence within them and that one intelligence can recognize and communicate with another. To believe that this world is only what we see is in my mind nothing short of ignorant.

But back to the trees... so there I stood looking up at them when the dialogue began...

"I am so small in comparison to you..." I thought.

Words formed in my head "stop moving and stand right there..."

"Did I just talk to the tree... I guess I did... or at least it's talking to me... So... I am in your forest and you are all much larger than I. I wonder how many people you have seen pass throughout the years and how many of them have ever really stopped to notice you... I will be t not a lot... My people have disregarded you as but a tool and we have considered ourselves better than you... a higher life form... I am sorry for that..."

I felt as if the tree were waiting for me to continue so I did.

"I have been pushing against the presence of all I see and now I would enter your presence. I am curious what you would share with me?"

I do not believe that nature communicates with us for no purpose and so I believe that this experience has something to teach me... I became quiet and listened as I allowed the presence of the tree to become one with me. I stopped resisting the tree and let it into my heart and soul... there was peace inside and then words formed in my mind... "It is in our independence that we find our connectedness..." My mind instantly went to how each tree grows tall and strives to become all it can and then together they stand to make the forest... and as I contemplated this the words formed again, "Being at home keeps us in fear of the unknown. The moment we step past our front door our world changes. On the road the impossible and the extraordinary become the daily occurrence."

I thought on these sayings and listened for more but there was only a peaceful silence as if the tree had lapsed back into its usual observatory state. After a moment I thanked the tree for the lesson it had taught me and pulled out my journal and wrote it down word for word. I walked peacefully forward and found the walk different from that point on. I even walked forward with my eyes closed for a time to take in the feeling in the air.

After arriving at the end of the road and turning around I walked back slowly. As I past the tree again I looked up these words came to me, "slow down... one is only a sapling once... take in the experience of being a sapling..."

I will endeavor to stop striving against the world from the inside out. I will be here now and let the presence of all around me fuse with my own. I will be as the tree and independent yet a part of, and connected to, all things.

Inward Journeys

2010-01-29T19:59:00.000-08:00

This past week on the trail was an interesting one to say the least. I pondered deeply upon the following quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

"It is easy in the world to live after the worlds opinion; It is easy in solitude to live after your own opinion; A great man is he who in a crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude…"

One night I sat meditating around the fire upon what I truly wanted out of life and in what way I truly wanted to contribute. In life there are many voices telling us where serenity comes from, where significance can be found or created, and where happiness lies... there are so many voices we could waste our lives if we tried to follow them all. The key is to begin walking forward moment by moment through the decisions before us and learn to live in public as we do in private.

I realized that when I am upon the trail my life is perfect in nearly every aspect... not perfect as in lacking fault but perfect as in wholly progressing forward. I take time to read, to meditate, to think, to feel, to interact with and serve others, to create, to live simply, to appreciate, etc... Out surviving in the wilderness there is a certain simplicity that keeps you from being distracted and an embodied invitation to relax and slow down. When I am there I live the life I want to live at home and yet often, if not nearly always, find myself distracted from living when at home. There are so many things pulling at our time, talents, and resources that I fear I often "live after the worlds opinion" of what will take me towards the goals of significance, serenity, peace, and happiness...

All I want in life is to help others realize the potential within them. I want to talk and counsel with others to help them see new possibilities and perspectives as they relate to their lives. I want to aid others to see and appreciate what is right in front of them. I want to help people learn to slow down and take life one decision at a time instead of living so far in the future or so lost within the past that they forget the moment. The past is nothing but the sum of past moments and the future nothing but the sum of this moment. What we did is past and done... what we do is determined as I write these words and as you read them. We determine our destiny in the moments we so often overlook for fear of what is yet to come or what has already been...

As I sat meditating the flames fell away leaving a pile of coals by which I sat. I looked at the moon directly overhead as many small storm clouds passed before it. The scene before me unfolded an interesting thought to my mind. Here as I am embarking on a journey to Spain I have come to realize that the purposes to which I feel called in my life are all embodied in my work at Anasazi. Two weeks before I finish my time at Anasazi I have realized that I embody my inner purpose by working here. I appreciate each moment I have left so much more for that realization...

Then I returned home to the world and found myself strangely able to walk more sweetly than I have in the past. I have been more myself and been living more in line with my purpose over the past day and a half than I normally have been. I find myself easily distracted and instead of going to bed I have stayed up late, slept in, put off exercising, eaten poorly, etc... This week I have gone to bed early, gotten up early, eaten well, and began to exercise. I have started to read daily again when off the trail and not just when on. I have began to carry my journal with me everywhere I go again - just in case a thought I would grasp should come before I find my way to paper.

What is the difference? Many little things built up over time I think... many little decisions made one by one which have led me to this point where I am beginning to walk with the independence of solitude amidst the crowd. Rumi once said that in life "your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it." In order for us to walk amidst the crowd with the independence of solitude we must likewise seek within ourselves all the walls we have built that keep us pleasing others, or conversely pleasing only ourselves. If we seek to understand ourselves we come to better understand others... just as in seeking to understand others we come to understand ourselves. We become the mirror in which we see one another's humanity. As we do so we then begin to have confidence in being ourselves - instead of who we think we ought to be. There are many voices telling us where we must look to find peace, serenity, significance, and happiness... yet how many of those voices invite us to look within us. The answer - very few. The answers lie within you and it is up to you to unlock them, it is at your leisure the journey begins. When will you begin your inward journeyings, your inward wanderings?

A journey within is not a thing that is accomplished in a day or a week or even a year... it is the pursuit of a lifetime, an eternal journey. But it is a journey well worth the time. The hours I spend meditating and experiencing nature while out on the trail have helped teach me many things about nature, about others, and about myself. Were I not meditating by the fire, listening to the wind and filling my mind with the moon I doubt if I would have heard the thoughts I have mentioned herein. To hear means to listen and to listen means that we must first be at peace... for a mind that is fully occupied or perturbed cannot realize what is before it. One says that the master appears when the student is ready. Another says that the master was always there yet was only just noticed when the student was ready to see him. I add that the master stands within and is with us always... all we have to do is seek him.

Dreams and Adversity

2010-01-20T18:31:00.000-08:00

This past week has been interesting... some friends I considered to see the world in much the same way I did seemed to be outraged that I was going to Spain. They seemed to feel attacked and I was retaliated against by some of the very people I was sure would support me in my decision. My friends attacked not only the fact that I was going to Spain but the idea that we, as humans, can be inspired by sources other than scripture or that we can be inspired to go overseas.

My parents fully supported me and simply asked me why it felt right now when it didn't before. I shared with them what I am about to share with you... my father nodded and my mother smiled and said "good". I do not believe that our world is a limited one or that there are boundaries set upon the heavens. The only boundaries set upon the heavens are those we set in our own minds. But whether or not we set them does not change what can and cannot happen.

While on the trail this past week I was struck with an idea as to why I felt called to leave my work with Edgewalkers behind and go to law school and then return to it after having let it go completely... I was sitting around the fire one night looking at the stars and listening to the wood burn on the fire when this thought struck me, "I was being tested to see what was more important to me: God or my dream?" As I thought this through I realized that I now knew that I would follow my heart over my simple worldly desires. I believe that in following our hearts through life we will be guided by a an all powerful hand. It is as we follow the simple yet quiet call of our hearts that we discover life anew. As soon as we stop toiling and striving to achieve we effortlessly move forward as water down a ravine... going over and around the obstacles before us. Because I was willing to give up my dream to follow my heart I showed my God where my heart lies. I realized that He is more important to me than my dream. I realized we all face this choice - who will you try to please? The one who gave you your dream and all you have... others... yourself? I realized that by itself my dream would have remained small and selfish if I chose it over my heart, over my faith, over my God. I felt that God had asked me to give up my dream and trust him. I did so... and after I gave it completely up and moved forward in my life...

A wondrous thing happened... I talked with my colleague in Mallorca again just to touch base and everything just felt right. She talked of having felt that I needed to be there, that my name kept coming up in conversations, that there was something there... My heart echoed the sentiment this time and the path was laid before me. I was initially confused but I have learned to follow my heart. My father taught me well through his example. God had given me back my dream but I noticed it was different than before - I got it back bigger and better than it was before... I can't say how... but I felt, and feel, that my dream can now be a part of God's big dream for the world. I learned that what I feel in my heart will always come before what I want in my mind. That is an important lesson for each one of us to learn...

Are you willing to give up the things you say you want most for those things that truly matter? Your relationship with your family and your creator? Those are the only two things that matter... hang all the rest. Though other things may be important at times, it is our relationships which bless our lives and give us both significance and serenity in our lives.

But... back to the beginning of this post. I mentioned friends that did not support me in my decision who somehow felt attacked by my changing. Today as I contemplated why they could feel so attacked I read a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson: "Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising which tempt you to believe that your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires courage."

How true. Though tempests may rise and storms revile it is the sure path we walk that leads us forward. Though friends be turned to enemies and the rain drench us to the bones it is courage which keeps us walking towards the light we see in the distance... that keeps us moving with the light we hold in our hearts. Courage is light and it allows others to see more clearly and to burn more brightly. That quote was what I needed to hear and how interesting that I should find it today... of all days... when I was thinking upon it so deeply.

There is an underpinning to all of existence... an unseen force and power that enlivens and connects all things. Somehow these coincidences work together for our good and illuminate the paths before us one step at a time. At times the paths split and all we see is the next step on each path before us... which one we choose will be up to us... for in this life are we not gifted agency? Are we not given the ability to choose our fate? What will your fate be? Where does your heart lie? Which path will feel the careful weight of your measured tread? Where will you place your feet? It is your choice... so own it... accept it... and remember who you are trying to please as you walk forward.

Twenty-two Personal Thoughts

2010-01-16T20:47:00.000-08:00

Following are twenty-two of my personal thoughts. I've pulled these from my personal journals and would like to share them with you. Enjoy.

"All things originate in thought. It is the beginning of all we see, and know, and experience. Thought becomes motion and motion, action. Action brings us life as we experience it and yet we seldom think of thought as the origination point of all we have, possess and experience. It is the small and simple thought which truly moves mountains and changes the course of history."

"Arrival in life never occurs with drums and trumpets but little by little as it slowly comes upon us."

"By itself, everything is simple. Things become complex as the relationships which surround it are explored. Complexity occurs because the relationships which surround it are operated and operate upon laws and truths which we, many times, do not see or understand. Understanding the laws upon which such human relations operate results in the simplification of the issue at hand. Explore the relationships of which you are a part - explore the world through relationships and you not only explore the world, but yourself as well."

"Beware of subtle differences. All subtle differences are compounded in time."

"Contradictions define. Differences made clear, clarify both sides. If you would discover what something is, decide what it is not; for in not being all things have being."

"Every moment of time you spend buys something. The two greatest questions a man can ask himself is 'What am I buying with my time? What am I buying with this moment?'"

"If simplicity is considered savagery may I never be considered civilized. It is in simplicity that truth is revealed."

"It doesnt matter what you know. It matters how you feel about what you know. It is through the lens of emotion that we see the world."

"Music is the poetry of the soul. It speaks from heart to heart with no need of interpretation. It is the great medium of heart and soul."

"Only you can reveal yourself to the world. Others may help you find yourself but it is you who will reveal yourself."

"We do not become successful by what we do alone, but by who we are."

"Reality exists in the absence of appearances."

"Seek to be and having will take care of itself."

"That which we call destiny is but the dance of our decisions in relation, one to another. In the moment we see the dance we perceive the hand of God; the hand of destiny."

"Those who don't fail will never achieve; for achievement without failure holds no reward."

"Virtue does not leave us, but we it."

"We are born to die. The purpose of life is found not only in how we spent the time inbetween, but in how we leave it at the end."

"We are not entitled to success but to the opportunity to succeed."

"We do not teach what we know, we teach who we are."

"What I let go of I transcend. What I hold on to I become."

"When we see what we can truly do without, we then can see what truly matters."

"Why are we here in this life? The simple answer: to transcend ourselves."

Sacrificing for a Greater Cause

2010-01-10T17:49:00.000-08:00

As I have said I am moving to Spain, Mallorca to be exact, in March and am in need of more capital to make the move! I'm putting on two wilderness skills / personal development camps in February in order to raise some money and selling most everything I own - at least the big things! Tomorrow I go back out on the trail! The wheels have been set in motion here with regard to the events in February. I have my truck up for sale on both Craigslist and on Autotrader and have a tentative buyer for when I get back off the trail on Thursday. I'll be selling off all the extra parts I have and before too long put my motorcycle up for sale as well. Hopefully I can sell that too a friend who will wait to take it until the day before I leave but whatever happens will happen!

Although I am selling or sacrificing a lot of things it is for a greater cause... the cause of making a difference and going to Spain will help me in that endeavor. I will be surrounded by good friends and experts in their professions. Together we will endeavor to bring an offer to the market and the world that will serve as a platform for the new world business models and a foundation for the spiritual insight of its leaders.

Awakening to Mark Twain

2010-01-08T20:39:00.001-08:00

It is high time I wrote on here again. It has been well over a month, and perhaps two, since I wrote anything substantial or truly new and heartfelt. Today I am in a space of energy and excitement. From events a number of months ago my life was tossed into confusion with relation to the path my feet must tread. On through the new year I walked knowing that direction would come.

I have applied to over 40 law schools from around the country and wait to hear back from most all of them. I have received a few rejections and one yes that I received three weeks after submitting my application. I've known for over five weeks that I was accepted to the University of Baltimore's first year law class of 2010. I am intrigued by the idea of going to Baltimore as it is near the heart of many things in the east. It is not far from New York, or DC, or Philidelphia. It is at the center of many historical places and would be an interesting place. I have not, however, decided where I shall go as I am waiting to hear back from other law schools as well.

The biggest reason for my excitement is found in recent developments. They say that successful people make decisions quickly. I have done that - I spoke with a wonderful woman and business colleague who lives and works in Spain with an organization called Edgewalker Group International (EGI - http://edgewalkergroup.com). In talking with her the idea to move to Spain and live and work in closer proximity to EGI. As the idea arose a familiar excitement rose in my gut. I was reminded of a quote I recently read by Mark Twain:

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover."

As we spoke I realized how content and comfortable I had become here doing what I do. I had become complacent in many of the activities of my life. Sure I worked hard and loved it - my work continued to help me develop it is true... but I also noticed that I was completely comfortable and I have learned that with comfort comes regression. It is when we become comfortable that we fall... when we are not watching our thoughts, words, and deeds. In new environments we are alive and observant in the keenest sense of the word.

Going back in history an interesting things can be observed. Many of the mountain men of the past - who many considered ignorant and stupid - were anything but the kind. Because their lives were so often filled with danger and every moment was lived in a hostile world where it could literally be their last - they developed keen senses and keen minds. In the mountains these men and women gained an education that could be said to be lacking today. They gained serenity of mind, a keen intellect, and a sharp wit resulting from the silence of nature.

Ahh... but I am beginning to rant, or at least speak freely. Sometimes the best thoughts come through wind tunneling as it is called - talking or writing until everything in your active mind is out... then everything else can come through us. Sometimes it is our fears, sometimes or hopes, or dreams... and sometimes it is pure inspiration - things that we didn't even know we knew. And to be truthful maybe we didn't. On the trail at Anasazi we call these Awakenings.

In reading that quote by Mark Twain I had an awakening. It was, and is, time for me to "throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover." and after we talked of moving to Spain to work I began to look up flights. A few hours after that conversation I found my flights... I found when the rates dramatically increase for summer travel and when they are reasonable. I found a ticket from Arizona to New York for $99 on the second of March and from New York to Mallorca, Spain for just over $400. I bought them both. I realized that if I didn't buy them at that moment I would put them off in hopes of a better deal... and in so doing perhaps miss my chance to go to Spain.

You might argue - the chance would still be there! Yes... but... would I have enough capital to do so after the rates began to increase? Would I fall back into the lull of comfortable security which surrounds me here? If... would... maybe... all uncertain. I bought a ticket though - that is certain. It has been interesting as well to notice that things seem to be working for my good. Everywhere I go I have been bumping into people who have been to Spain or who know someone in Spain. Now that I am focused and committed to a course of action everything around me can begin to move as well.... I wonder how often we miss opportunities because we wait for others, or for things around us, to move before we act? If we commit things will move - why? because we have changed where we stand and in what direction we are moving.
I have the feeling that this post is... garbled is the word in my head but not the idea in my mind... what I mean is that it feels like I am putting two months of thoughts into one post! and I suppose I am. A lot has happened. A lot has changed. Now that a decision has been made it is time to let the chips fall where they may - as the saying goes.

This week I will tell Anasazi about my plans and give them notice so that I can hopefully train my replacement prior to flight. I will miss Anasazi but the principles I have learned will greatly affect the future course of my life and my interaction with everyone who I meet, impact or influence in every way. You never know the reach of your thoughts, words, or deeds... a deed you perform today could be the service that gives hope to a poor struggling mother who in turn raises her son with honor... her son speaks and carries a message of hope to the heart of a friend... and on and on the wheel of life turns.

In every moment we create the world around us... in every interaction we create not only ourselves but the stimuli of society - if something is wrong with society let us not point fingers... but let us look inward and see if we promote the very thing we so adamantly deny? Do we speak of action, freedom, and choice... when all the while we are locked within the confines of our own comfortable world? Afraid to leave it for fear of the unknown? Life occurs in the unknown... life cannot exist in a vacuum and neither can we.
I am leaving the vacuum of my comfort and excited to open up the canister and experience the fresh air of change.

I wish you all a very happy new year and may you all be blessed in the pursuit of your new year's goals - remember that goals are usually set mentally but they are achieved emotionally. We set emotional goals all the time but we never think of them as such because we simply do them. When emotion becomes involved we have to do it. How can you mix emotion with your new years goals - that is how you will ensure their accomplishment! That or you have extra-ordinary will power! Whichever it is I wish you success!
Soon I will explain Affirmations and place my affirmations for this next year up for those interested to read, emulate, and see.

Living and the Brain

2010-01-04T21:33:00.000-08:00

I've just spent the last hour watching an amazing video on YouTube. If you are having difficulty getting psyched up for the new year please watch the following video! I believe it can truly change your life!

Change your Brain, Change Your Life 1-7 20080420

The Entitled Generation

2009-12-08T14:01:00.000-08:00

Following is an article I wrote for the Edgewalker Magazine's first edition earlier this year. After an email I received in response to my last post "Playing the Game of Life" I've decided to publish this article on my blog.

Edgewalker Magazine

http://www.edgewalkergroup.com

The Entitled Generation (Issue 1, Jan-Mar 2009)

By: Daniel A. Freeman

The entitlement mentality seen in the rising generation has fallen from my eyes as scales falling from the eyes of the blind. Today the edge of simplicity, of thrift, and of truth, stands before me and I have chosen to engage in its path. Bruce Lee was once quoted to say, "all things run to simplicity." How often do we complicate our lives unnecessarily? How often do we put second things first and let the most important things fall by the wayside? Stephen R. Covey put it best when he said, "do first things first and second things never." When we really engage in those first things first we find that those secondary things seem to fall by the wayside and disappear. How often do we plan the first things first? Doing first things first requires bucking the current trend of the rising generation. They focus on what they need to do to achieve what society calls success. They would skip the first things and skip right on to the trappings of success at the end. What are those first things concerned with? The building of character, of the foundation of success… Living requires work, thrift, patience and mastery... something that is, many times, sadly lacking in a time where emotion and entitlement seem to run the lives of the up and coming generations.

What is it about not only the up and coming generation but about the generation now entering the workforce that leads them to believe they are entitled to everything? What makes them believe they are entitled to all the trappings of success without any effort on their part? This generation could be called the Entitled Generation. As one of this generation I have experienced the emotions and thoughts that come with it first hand, expecting things in my life to be a certain way... to just move and have everything fall into place. To speak and to have doors open. In various areas of life this is more or less true yet there is a tragic flaw in the fundamental philosophy of this new Entitled Generation. They, we, are not entitled to success... but only to the opportunity to succeed.

This is vastly different than the norm in this age and to add emphasis - We are not entitled to success but to the opportunity to succeed. In today's workforce, and the schools of our nation, young men and women feel they are entitled to that which they want now... whatever it is. Recently while speaking with a Producer for the CBS television show 48 Hours he mentioned the difficulties they have at the studio with this rising generation. He complained that after only a few months the employees, even if they are only answering phones, want to be promoted and be given the responsibility of producing shows. This producer repeated many of the things he had heard them say, "Anybody could do it," or "I could do it no problem," and "It's not that hard!" He responded to such comments with a shake of his head, "that may be but you haven't put in the time." He had been working there for over 15 years now and these young men and women felt entitled to his position, one that he earned with his time, energy, and according to his productive talents.

Those of the Entitled Generation have misaligned values and lack empathy, many times, for the needs of others and the effects of their decisions on others. Many times others suffer so that they may have what they are entitled to receive. Having witnessed firsthand, both in my life and in the lives of others, the effects of this self-centered and self-indulgent behavior the effects of it stare us in the face every day.

Success will result only from thrift and character and cannot be handed to us... to this generation. If success is acquired in such a manner it can only result in the utter destruction of its possessor. Time has shown that those who create wealth do so because of who they become in the process of its acquisition. Those who inherit wealth, if they are not taught to work and to become something and someone in the process, will squander it on self-indulgent behaviors and slowly hew down and lay waste to the tree of wealth that has been planted, cultivated, and ultimately handed to them. Wealth is not created from someone deserving something but from something else, not simply doing something, but being something.

Read it twice, even three times, for it is a subtle difference. We do not become successful by what we do alone, but by who we are. This is not to say that we are entitled to success because of who we are. We do not deserve success in and of ourselves. We deserve success only in proportion to the service we can render our fellow men. We acquire success in direct proportion to the philosophies and ideologies we hold in our minds and hearts - for from these philosophies and ideologies stem every action we take on a daily basis. Thus though all things come through our actions they do not come from our actions. They originate on the deeper level of who we are, as it is put in the Arbinger materials, our Way of Being.

To illustrate we can use the example of someone apologizing for something done to you that hurt you, and hurt you on an emotionally deep level. As they apologize you know and can feel that they don't mean it. What happens? Do you forgive them? Of course not... Can you tell whether or not they mean it? Of course you can. Well what does that have to do with anything? It emphasizes a very important point. It is not the action that is important - it is who you are being when you are doing the action. Who we are (our ideologies and philosophies) determines what we do (our actions) and what we do will then determine what we have and the life we experience... but again it is not what we do that is important, but who we are in the process of doing it.

Entitlement is an ideology that has pervaded our nation like a virus, and like most viruses it was not noticed in its initial stages. Now the tide has rushed onward and swept us along. Now here we stand, watching in shocked awe at what is taking place amongst the youth of our nation and in the world today. Where will the world be in 20 or 30 years... as this generation takes power and begins to lead the nation? Those who only consume and never produce… 'We are entitled to it,' is their cry, 'it’s ours and we deserve it.' In response to the question of why they deserve it there is no answer, only more demands. Will such a nation remain a power or will it succeed to another nation? It is reminiscent of the book Atlas Shrugged.

Perhaps there are yet enough of those who work and live and produce that in our lifetime we shall not see this occur but the future lies in our hands. We must teach our children who to be in the world today. So much is focused on what to do and what we must know... yet who are we to be? The world says to "be whatever you please, it is your choice..." and yet our nation was founded by men of principle, of value, of virtues tried and tested over past millennia. They founded a country based on such values and today it seems that there are few who teach them or even possess them such that others can emulate them.

Possessed of virtue, values, and honor the rising generations of this age can go anywhere in life and no matter the course they choose they will remain sure and solid amongst the many vicissitudes of life. Flexibility of life comes from stability of character. Yet, flexibility of character does not lead to stability of life. A foundation must be established before walls can be erected and the walls must be erected before a roof can be raised to cover and protect. Only at this point can furnishings and all the many comforts of life be added without worry as to the destructive power of the wind and rain.

Build the foundation of your character first and aid those in your sphere of influence, especially those of the rising generation, to build their foundations firm. As time continues and they erect the structures of their lives they will bless your name and change the path of the future.

And to those of this rising generation, if you sit thinking that you have no foundation left... that the storms of life have blown it all away and ruined all the trappings of success you had set aside... remember that the sun will always rise with the dawn, when the night is done - but the sun will always rise. Seek help and shelter amidst those of your friends who have built the foundations of their character strong, enlist their help and once the day begins to dawn commence the rebuilding of the structure of your life. Remember to start with the foundation and work up from the ground.

The Entitled Generation may feel entitled to not only the foundation, but the walls, the roof, and a fully furnished life... but this is not the way of life. The foundation must be built first and constructed well. Thus if you would build a large and spacious home you must spend much more time on your foundation that if you would simply build a small cabin in the woods. What kind of life would you live? What kind of person must you be to accomplish the ideals you hold in your mind and the vision you hold in your heart? Where are you now? Begin the journey today and keep in mind that the grander the vision the longer the journey. Be aware that the edge you walk in so doing will set you apart from the crowd, from the thronging masses, who are trying so desperately to belong and deserve. Yet the truth eludes them, they must focus on who they are and not what they deserve. All else will follow.

Playing the Game of Life

2009-11-25T11:54:00.000-08:00

Alan Chapman wrote on July 25, 2009 at 7:38am:

"Many people work much harder on a World of Warcraft role-playing team then they ever work in a paid job. They are very skilled and they do painstaking work, usually for only brownie points and recognition, because that work gives them a feeling of control and camaraderie.... Whatever makes work unpleasant, its often not really the nature of the task itself; its the involuntariness and the fact that you can be punished by the person running the game" (Taken from an interview with Esther Dyson)

What do you see here, and implication does this have for the work we have to do as leaders in organisation?

Following is my response... In rereading it I felt I should post it here. Enjoy.

I wrote on August 23, 2009 at 11:33pm:

This one strikes close to home as in my generation virtually everyone has played it at least once... some of my friends far too much.

I have always found it interesting that it seems to become someone's life... they spend hours building the stats of a character on a server in some dark building while they do nothing to build the stats of their own life or live to pursue thier own dreams.

It is like the man who was handed a pen by a young boy who wanted an autograph... the man wrote, "Don't spend your time collecting autographs, spend your time making your autograph worth collecting."

Likewise I am reminded of the infatuation many in our country have with sports. I understand the enjoyment of watching yet I cannot bring myself to continually engage in following any sport. It was the dream of the individual playing his sport to do so before the world... it was his dream to play and have others watch in amazement. It is not my dream to watch in amazement... it is my dream to play my own game and do so flawlessly.

World of Warcraft creates a world in which people can become someone else, and - in a sense - find or create a sense of "playing the game" instead of simply watching.

As leaders in business or organizations a question I would have is what are we doing as an organization to appeal to this need in people... this need to contribute... to show forth their strengths? Do we have people in areas where their strengths are underutilized... are we hiring the wrong people, with the wrong mindset, with the wrong talents for the position? If we can hire people whose talents are actuated by the position we will create a "real" playing field where individuals can step up and work on their own stats and earn their recognition for what they do personally... not the little man on the screen.

Reflections

2009-10-12T02:02:00.000-07:00

Reflections

Purpose: “…aligning our core values with our actions… practicing our ability to see into the future…”

I feel that I must preface any comments herein with a statement of intent; for this has been a topic of deep thought and emotion this week. This past week everything that I have experienced has surrounded the distinctions of integrity and vision. The course of my path has been altered. What I found was not what I was looking for… but it returned to me continually throughout the week and the decision it presented me, along with its many options, was reflected back to me in all that I saw and experienced. I saw it in the clouds and stars overhead, in the readings before me, in the plants and animals around me, and in the thoughts of my mind and the feelings of my heart. Every thought in which I engaged seemed to lead me back to the same issue. In writing I hope to express myself more clearly than in speaking, so that nothing is missed or misrepresented – for that has always seemed my gift. The following is a deeply honest as I am.

Integrity

The issue that continually arose in my mind was this – I feel that the Practitioner program I am involved in with Edgewalker Group International is not the road I need be walking at this time. The dilemma I faced this week is one of ethics. I would, and wanted to, walk the path of the Practitioner program on one hand… and on the other I feel, and sense, something which pushes that desire from my mind and places it in a secondary role to another value; that of faith and trust. I will explain in the following paragraphs.

I have referred to a book by Bruce Wilkinson called “The Dream Giver” in the past and a portion of that story came to my mind every day and every hour of this week… it was reflected back to me everywhere I looked. For years my dream has been to facilitate and teach… in short, to do what I would be doing in collaboration with Edgewalkers by next summer. My dream is before me and yet this is my experience…

In “The Dream Giver” the main character reaches a point where, after having been given his dream and having pursued it, it is just across the river before him. The Dream Giver asks him at that point to give his dream back. The main character is confused… “Why would the Dream Giver give me a dream and then ask for it back?!” He thinks long and hard about the decision until he realizes what is at stake; what is more important – the dream or the Dream Giver? He realizes that if he keeps his dream and does not trust the Dream Giver his dream will stay a small and selfish dream because he will have put his dream over trusting the Dream Giver. He decides to give his dream back. It was hard but he did it. He then swims across the river and upon climbing up the other bank he finds his dream waiting for him – bigger than ever… with a note attached to it from the Dream Giver, “I give you back your dream. Now it can be a part of my big dream for the world and I will go with you and help you to achieve it.”

This entire week I have felt, and realized in my heart, that I am in the same spot in my life. My dream is manifest in what is coming into being in collaboration with Edgewalkers. Yet God is asking me to give back that dream; to trust Him. Is He more important to me, or is my dream? As I have thought about this I realized that I cannot force myself to feel differently about it. If I make the decision to continue the program I will always hold it against myself for not trusting Him. I feel that I would not act ethically in continuing the program in that way, either, for I cannot deny my experience.

My vision has been opened, in a sense, and changed in my heart. It has raised an issue of integrity for me. Do I continue the program and go against a deep core value? Or do I discontinue the program and honor that core value, that faith, and trust in the Dream Giver? I feel in my heart if I do I will teach, speak, and facilitate in a way that I cannot now imagine… that I will do so in places and with peoples that I cannot now dream of… that I will get my dream back bigger than ever… and most importantly – that God, the Dream Giver, will be with me. In my heart I have already made that decision and I feel it. I have chosen to trust the Dream Giver and discontinue the program. I do not, however, want to have the conversation surrounding it – for on some level I fear harming a friendship in the process (that’s the people pleaser in me! lol).

I have thought through countless ways to make the program work, other possible options (incubator, etc…), and yet everything has that same question within it; am I willing to give up my dream to Him and trust Him completely? Although the money is tight it is doable and not an issue in and of itself. There are, however, other things that I feel that money should be used for at this point. Other experiences, learnings, and commitments I need to be engaging in.

Vision

After thinking and noticing these things all week long I finally wrote about them. I was hesitant to write initially and hoped that by the end of the week I would feel differently… but that did not work out accordingly. Here is a direct quotation from my journal which should clarify further my vision as I see it now, an entry written on the sixth of this month:

“I’ve thought about facilitating seminars. I want to give them, yes, but do I want to give them for a living? I don’t know… I wonder if I will compromise my message in order to make it marketable. I have thought – I want to offer seminars as a result of what I do… not (as) what I do.

“I simply find myself pulled in another direction… and yet I find that I had to walk as far as I did so that I could get to where I am today.

“If anything, my pursuit of this program has clarified for me the idea that I cannot fully serve or give, in the way I feel called, as a program facilitator. My dream is growing (changing, altering, and shifting… even being asked for) and I feel the need to grow with it. In so doing I must shed my skin as a snake or a lizard and leave much behind in the way of hopes, dreams, and desires… for as my dream changes I must change.

“I give my dream to the Dream Giver in my mind but can I do so in reality? My dream to facilitate is small and would be but a selfish dream in terms of the big picture.

“It seems I am undergoing another time of rapid growth and deep change in my life, much is shifting, much is changing.

“I want to say that I will facilitate seminars in the summers however as I say it I feel already pulled away – pulled to something else, pulled to another destiny – between now and law school I (will continue the implementation of some various business ideas which I feel called to at this time… this will take the money that would have gone to the Practitioner program).

“As I must follow the course of my own road (which course I know not) so must I stop swearing (that) the path before me (will) cross the paths of others. I do not know the path before me and so I can in no way promise a future interaction of any kind.

“I do not want to have this conversation with Kimberly but my heart is no longer there. (In one day it turned… the day I realized all I have shared above…) If I continue on I do damage to myself (and others) for I would be lacking integrity if I continue on in such a manner…”

In the future I see many possibilities and many choices that I cannot yet distinguish. Once, when I was complaining about my inability to know every nuance of the path I must walk, a friend said to me, “you are the kind of person that it would drive you nuts if you knew… you wouldn’t have it any other way.” They were right. I have realized this week that that means that there will be times that I must renegotiate the commitments I have made.

So what vision is emerging for me in this moment... not to say that it is what will emerge in my life... for much can change - but what is coming to me at this moment? This week I have thought often on teaching at the graduate level. Many of my core values, goals, and the very freedoms I hold dear fit that lifestyle well. I would have time to write, time to study, time to teach, time to facilitate, and summers to travel and explore the world around me while making a difference. I am now moving forward into law school with that in mind. As I finish my bachelor degree it is also time that I reengage in playing in life. Between now and law school I shall play with abandon as it were and jump into the sandbox of life before me and enjoy life... with the people around me.

Book updates!

2009-09-28T13:03:00.000-07:00

Good morning,

In order that only those who would like to receive update reports regarding the progress of the book "Significance and Serenity: What is your life about?" will I have created a group.

I am putting this group together to put everything in one location as far as contacting individuals!

http://groups.google.com/group/significance

If you would like stay informed or receive more information on the progress of the book please join the group and feel free to invite any others as well.

Thank you and I look forward to talking further,

Daniel Freeman
Cellular: (480) 274-8198

"We do not regret the things we say and mean, only the things we mean and do not say."

What is Significance?

2009-09-24T20:08:00.000-07:00

Serenity is the quality of the relationship we hold with ourselves. Significance, the quality of the relationships we hold with others.

I've noticed that in life people tend to search for one of two things at various points in their life. Significance - however they define it... or a peace of mind - Serenity. Of those I have observed who have sought significance I have witnessed only a few obtain it. Many sought significance, as they defined it, but in the end found a hollow shell and continued seeking elsewhere. Of those who obtained it, and the peace that accompanies it, they all found significance in service.

A dear friend of mine was once asked how he was going to change the world. "One person at a time," he would say, "it all starts inside."

The end goal of the development of self is the development of others for no sooner do we begin to walk down that path than we realize that it is a constant process that will never end. Upon realizing this the immense joy we felt initially can begin to fade as routineness sets in. It is still there within us, but dulled in a sense from repetition (perhaps I am wrong in this regard). A new joy can replace or add to it - greater than the first... The joy of watching the eyes of another light up as something sparks within them and they change the course of their future. The joy of helping someone because it was deepest sense of what was right. The joy of serving another who cannot repay you, someone who can only pass it on. Anyone who has experienced a life changing moment and who has helped another to experience the same relives their own. It is that feeling, that experience, that moment that touches us so deeply that we can never forget it.

That is where Significance is born. It is born in the service of others.

Significance comes from service to others. It comes from selflessness. Ghandi and Mother Teresa were extremely significant in the lives of many people all over the world. Very probably, there are very few individuals who do not know something of them. They achieved significance by offering the individuals they came to meet around the world what they had to provide - their hearts.

The world, or society in general - especially American society, paints a picture of what they call Significance or "Success" - money, cars, homes, possessions, etc... Significance has nothing to do with possessions and many discover the emptiness of that false shell when they have sought comfort purely therein. Significance is the realization of a heart yearning outward. A heart yearning to be with other human beings.

Serenity is a heart at peace, responsiveness. Significance is what we experience when we honor that peace and take it out into the world. A hermit can never be truly happy... for as it says in one of the Arbinger books, "if our unhappiness lies with others doesn't it stand to reason that our happiness lies with others as well?"

War and Peace

2009-09-20T21:36:00.001-07:00

September is almost over and this is but my second post this month! Many pages have been filled in my journals but alas I do not have the time to recap all the sacred moments of this month past. Needless to say... it is always with a purpose we speak... it is always with a purpose we write... it is always with a purpose we act. Why do you act? What is your purpose?

It is an easy escape to say that I have no purpose... yet deep down... if we are not too afraid to look - we will find it. Why are you where you are in your life? Why am I where I am in my life right now? Because we, each of us, have done certain things... because of what we have done we have what we have... but is that all? Let us go a little deeper...

As we do things we do them in a certain way... we are either at war or at peace with our situation, surroundings, circumstances, companions etc... This is called our Way of Being and this is who we are being in any given moment.

From who we are being in the moment as we do certain things we reap the rewards and we harrow the hardships that are coming as a result. If we do the right things but do them from a place of war we shoot ourselves in the foot.

Would you have a happy relationship in your life? How do you have that? Well... in order to have a relationship you must do certain things. In the case of a relationship you must make time for your partner, you must spend time together. You should do things that they like to do. There are always things you can do in order to have a relationship... but this is not where the real relationship grows... it has only a little bit to do with doing.

Relationships are driven by what is deeper... and deeper is being. If you make time to spend with your partner and as you spend your time with them you make sure that they know what a "sacrifice" it is from your day to have to spend time with them... and insinuate by your attitude that you are such a "good person" for having done so... it will not be long before you are single again. Although outwardly your actions were "correct," inwardly your heart was swinging at them emotionally... you were engaged in a war at the deepest level and it bled through. If you were to ask your partner after that time spent together do you think they would see the "sacrifice" you made or would they simply see an "insensitive jerk"?

Notice your being in the moment. Are you at war or are you at peace? Are you seeing others as human, as people - with hopes, fears, needs and desires? Or are you seeing them as objects - irrelevancies, tools, vehicles, obstacles... What you have will change drastically as you focus on your being as opposed to your doing. All of the doing in the world will avail you nothing if you being is askew. What are you being? Who are you being that way toward? Are you at war with some and at peace with others?

You possess the key to your own liberation... peace is but a sense away - the only problem is... in order to access that sense you must first begin to see the object of your hate... of your passion... as a person once again - and there is nothing more detestable in our minds. Why would we consider someone so "inconsiderate" or "stupid" or "rude" or any other number of expletives as a person?? In so doing we open our hearts to peace and in that moment of peace we have a sense of what we can do - if we choose to honor that sense we will have obtained a peace that few can match... if we choose to betray that sense we choose to go right back to war. The important thing to remember is that it is our war... and no one else can make the decision to go to war in our lives but us... no one else can make the decision to declare peace and remain serene of soul. That should be liberating! We hold the keys to the cages of our own self-imprisonment, of our own self-delusionment, of our own self-deception.

May you surround yourself with places, peoples, and things which keep you at peace - for it is from these places of power, these places of peace that we can begin to see others as people once again. God bless you in your endeavors so to do. See you in a week...

Going First

2009-09-19T00:18:00.000-07:00

"I can be the cause of a profound conversation, if I dare to go first."

"What I know serves me well enough, but the story of how I know it can serve others in unimaginable ways."

"Just like poetry, music, films, and plays, stories - my stories, your stories - transmit an energy. They cause a movement in the synapses of the brain, the sinews of the body, the molecules of emotion. They can shed light, heal the spirit, provoke thought, evoke action. They are the tools of transformation, available to every one of us, for what is our life but a series of stories waiting to be lived, mined, shaped into form, and shared with others?"

"As we hone and harvest our own experience, recalling the details of what we've learned and how we've learned it, so do we clarify our wisdom, crystallize its essence, and fulfill its meaning."

"This is how we repair the world. It is not facts and formulas, but the simple refinding and telling of our stories that will spark a rethinking in the minds of others - for the hunger in this Information Age is not for more information, but for the fire and light of stories that reveal us to ourselves."

-Jan Phillips-

Going First

The last quote in the above section of quotes has touched me tonight as I thought about writing versus not writing... perhaps tomorrow I will have more to say... or perhaps then I will sit down and distill the many things I have thought of and harvest them for the gems worthy of sharing... Then the thought struck me, just as Jan Phillips says - "What I know serves me well enough, but the story of how I know it can serve others in unimaginable ways."

This past month many things have changed. My trucks are still up for sale and one is most likely sold tomorrow - exchanged for a motorcycle... I am a week away from taking the LSAT (law school admissions test) and hopefully more prepared than I feel. I have had precious little time to study with everything going on and have put other things first as, in my mind, they are more important and address larger issues in life than LSAT studies...

I have started my MBA and although in this same time during my Bachelors I had already completed 20 credits I have to this point completed 1. I am running in so many directions that only the most important things, once again as I perceive them, are getting done. I've started a 9 month certification program with Edgewalkers (http://www.edgewalkergroup.com/) and will come out the other side a fully certified Senior Associate. As a part of this program I must put together an Edgewalker Project which I have begun planning. It is the launching of my own business which will offer, in conjunction with Edgewalkers, seminars for the 18-25 age group.

On other fronts I have been promoted at work and have completed the final raise to achieve the niveau of Sagewalker at Anasazi (http://www.anasazi.org/), a wilderness survival program. This next week is my first permanent week as a Ghostwalker - meaning that I will perform all the ceremonies for the new Youngwalkers (youth) and for all those who are in family camp with their families.

So aside from learning weekly working at Anasazi my off weeks are filled with learning what will be on the LSAT, completing the learning guides for my program with Edgewalkers, completing the courses for my Masters in Business Administration, and attempting to sell both my trucks... I am also in the process of writing a book. So, in a nutshell there is a snapshot of my life! (whew)

Where is the magic? What makes all of that... or all of what you in your life do any different than a lot of words... time... or stress? The magic occurs when all of that is what you love - or adds value to what you love. The magic is in the minutia... it is in the little moments inbetween... it is in each and every moment during which you are present and authentic to yourself and the humanity of others around you.

At work, in the wilderness, I have started keep a dream journal and to tell the truth - I have never remembered as many dreams in a year as I have this past month... it has been envigorating, enlightening and yes sometimes quite odd. ;) I have started an hour long journaling meditation as the sun rises and the dawnstar (the last star in the sky) disappears and points the way to the rising sun. I have written more this past month, and about deeper and more profound things than I ever have before. Doing these things has allowed me to be authentically present throughout the day for the Youngwalkers in the program at Anasazi. This has taught me many things and change my experience of living, both on and off the trail.

In my guides through Edgewalkers I have explored new topics and been exposed to new ideas. I have been priviledged to surround myself with people who see me for my strengths... and nothing else... people who believe in me and challenge me to do what I know I can and should do... but am sometimes afraid to attempt.

In my MBA program I am confronted with a conflict of interests and a goal set based on my prideful ego. I want to complete my MBA program in 2-3 months just to say that I did and yet prudence, perhaps the sacred wind, tells me that it will take me until next spring - why? I only have an inkling... perhaps there will continually arise other things that I know are more important for the things I seek to accomplish. Life is constant education of our desires... do not make yourself miseable by pridefully refusing to change your mind and admit your errors. Step up and be honest, open, and authentic about your thoughts, words and emotions.

Selling my trucks I am learning about economics... when things go bad people sell their luxuries - when things get worse - they begin to sell their so called babies (the precious toys that they have put their blood, sweat, tears and finances into). Today is the day to buy these babies but not to sell them, sadly enough for me!

One thought that struck me this week on the trail was the thought of perfection. As I sat around a campfire listening to the sounds of the night a thought struck me, "Even in the dark, nature is perfect." Everything has its place... even the dark moments in our lives... they come for a reason. Darkness descends upon nature in order to allow a rejuvination to take place... a resting to occur in nature... a strengthening and fortifying. Without this darkness nature would suffer and slowly perish. So to do I believe that if all darkness was removed from our lives we would slowly die and perish... for man cannot live eternally in the sun - if you don't believe me try to live in the desert for a time. You must seek shade, and at times you welcome the darkness of night.

Within us all there is both darkness and light. Perfection is not in the presence of one and the absense of the other... it is found in the dance between. It is not simply our light which leads towards perfection, peace and serenity. It is the presence of both, the darkness and the light which lead us down the road of redemption, of peace, of respect for oneself and the humanity of others... down the road to love.

To love requires both darkness and light. Perfection requires both darkness and light. I do not know if these thoughts were clear of cohesive but they are real. I felt them in my soul as I sat in the darkness that night and pray that something was communicated to you - even if only the idea or feeling that I know of what I speak. I do not ask that you agree... or that you adopt my view... but I do ask that you let it spark your story... and that you share in return..

I will close with the words of Jan Phillips from above: "This is how we repair the world. It is not facts and formulas, but the simple refinding and telling of our stories that will spark a rethinking in the minds of others - for the hunger in this Information Age is not for more information, but for the fire and light of stories that reveal us to ourselves."

Dogs and Decisions

2009-08-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

This past week was my week off and as I spend every other week in the wilderness in a suvival situation each week off is highly anticipated and sometimes needed in order to relax and recharge. After being home for less than 24 hours and hardly sleeping a wink the Anasazi offices called and asked if I could take some of the new Sinagua Walkers (18+ clients) out into the field for their first four days before depositing them in the group with the rest of the Sinagua Walkers. My task is simple, to help them gain the basic skills they will need and set up the context of the program.

I arrived in the field with three new Sinagua Walkers and hiked down into camp. That night a yellow lab showed up on the scene and he was an ineresting character to say the least! Plenty of energy... and he couldnt just sit by you... he wanted to get as close to your face as possible with, not just his face, but, his whole body!

Eventually he calmed down and we all greatly enjoyed his company... until it was time to go to bed. He was absolutely set on sleeping in someone's nice warm bed with them! If you sat up he would instantly be laying where your back was... where it was warm! So after numerous kick out attempts I discovered that the more I pushed him out the more fun he thought it was... so finally I wrapped my blanket tight around me and rolled over and went to sleep! That dog woke me numerous times and I was getting frustrated with him.

In the morning he was gone, and one of the Sinagua Walkers said he heard his owner, a nearby rancher, pick him up. "Good," I thought. But, as I looked around for my things under my shelter I realized that everything aside from my blanket, which I was wrapped up in, was spread around camp. I sighed, knowing it was the work of our new friend and I set about gathering up my things and putting them back under my shelter. This was early Saturday morning... by noon on Sunday we had helped the new Sinagua Walkers complete all the skills they would need, on a basic level, to survive out here for six weeks... so we began to pack.

I packed up everything and was happy with the small size of my pack. I realized I still had my mocassins on so I headed over to grab my boots and put them on... I paused... "Where were they," I thought to myself... They were not where I had left them... they weren't by my shelter at all! Then it hit me... the dog had drug a few other people's hiking boots around camp as well... but we found all theirs! Grrr... we set about looking for my shoes and spent nearly an hour looking for them... I am certain that we all walked right by them, because they are brown and blend in with the desert sand perfectly... but we didn't find them.

After looking for awhile I counted them as lost and finished packing. We hiked a little over a mile through catclaw, cactus, creekbed, brush and rock with me in my mocassins. And walking in mocassins is a little different than walking in boots... you can feel the terrain much more acutely. Contrary to what I, or others, thought however, the mocassins were actually quite nice to hike in! I later joked with a support staff member that, "I've always heard you'd lose your boots and more for kicking a woman out of your bed... but I'd never thought about a dog..."

This week on the trail, even though it was only for three days was a wonderful outing and one that I am glad I was priviledged to go on. While on the trail I thought long and hard about my decision to go to law school... am I going because I find it interesting... useful? because I feel called to do it? or is it, rather, something comfortable - something known which I want to pursue in an effort to put off taking a leap of faith into the unknown? Is is a way to inflate my ego and justify the image I hold of myself?

I know wha tI want to do in my life and where I want to end up... I am surrounded by opportunities to do just that - at this moment in time... and yet I have not been able to bring myself to take that leap of faith. As I contemplate this dilemna I seek law school a way for me to prove something to myself and the world... I see law school as a way to add value to myself but not yet give anything in return... I see it as a way to avoid doing what I am afraid to do most - take my talents and share them before the world. I feel as if I have chosen to hide my talents for fear of rejection and have thus begin to justify other, alternative paths... In saying all of this I believe my choice is made up... I know what I must do - not because of any of the pro's or con's of the situation or the alternatives but because I know what I expect of myself in this situation.

Thus it is the result of this week that law school has become an option. I will take the LSAT in either September or December, probably December, and see what offers come of my performance there. I will take the Arbinger Facilitator certification course as soon as finances permit and complete the TAPOC program through Newfield as well as the Incubator program with Edgewalkers beginning the first part of this next year. From there my own practice will begin and I will begin to offer seminars around the world. I will begin to offer my talents and gifts before the world in the hope that they will benefit another in his or her life... in his or her journey. I will take that step into uncertainty, into darkness, and trust that God will guide my steps.

May your steps be guided as you step into the uncertainty surrounding the fulfillment and accomplishment of your dreams and the growth and expansion of your skills, talents and abilities. May you never choose the known over the unknown and sacrifice or retard your dream as a result.

Fight or Flight?!

2009-08-21T07:11:00.000-07:00

We are such interesting creatures... and we live in worlds of fiction which we largely create in our own minds. This week I have been wondering on what I wrote in my last post. Are my trucks keeping me mediocre... probably not... it is my weakness to overindulge myself and justify my actions in doing so that is keeping me mediocre... it could be a truck, a video game, a sport, excercise, diet... it does not matter what it is - anything taken to the extreme or over-indulged in becomes a draining force in life.

I realized that just a moment ago when I noticed that I was blaming my trucks for making me or giving me the opportunity to be mediocre. This week I realize that it is my actions, thoughts, and desires... the mediocre ones which I choose to follow. So, a different question arose in my mind... do I keep my truck now and hold the hot coal that is burning me until I learn to control my own weakness or do I sell it and let the truck go - and then run away and avoid anything else I could go overboard in? I am starting to favor the first, the truck presents me two options - the option of responsibility and the option of blame. I can blame it for my predicament and my weaknesses, finding comfort therein, or I can blame myself for my weaknesses and address them, face them.

Facing anything, let alone my own weaknesses, self-defeating behaviors and self-deceptions has never been something that came naturally to me. Standing up, resisting, I have traditionally engaged in when something extremely important to me was on the line or as a last resort. Otherwise I run away, that is how I deal with things. I retreat and observe them from a distance... I understand them very well from observation but when locked in combat with them I run away.

So this week I shall contemplate further on this question - is it I who must change? or must I simply recognize my own weaknesses and avoid anything which could become as the truck in my life... anything I could go overboard and overindulge myself in at high personal expense? I think I already know the answer but only time will tell...

What about in your life? Have you traditionally held on to the things that stop you? Have you realized that it is not the things which stop you, but you yourself? Have you traditionally removed all such influences from your life on a regular basis in the hopes of removing the problem? One addresses behavior, the other the root source - the self. Contemplate your own life and see if these ideas have value therein.

This was my off week - as I work in a wilderness survival program every other week. Last night they called and asked if I could help out this week as well and I agreed that if they "really needed me" I could. After two hours of calls I was the only possibility so I agreed. I go out today - spend four days in the wilderness - come home and spend one day here, then go back out for my normal shift and rotation. Enjoy your week and may your thoughts and actions be production... may we, each of us, step out of our own ways and let the light we hold so tightly shine all the more brightly.

Dreams and Mediocrity

2009-08-10T11:37:00.000-07:00

Recently, while out in the serenity of the wilderness, I had an awakening of sorts. I have always been a spiritual individual and in touch with my dreams, hopes and desires... I know there are certain things I should go and accomplish, places I should go, people I should meet, things I should do... and yet in many instances I seem to be unable to follow the pull of those experiences...

Money has been the limiting factor in a number of the ventures I wish to participate in and it was this week I realized that it is time I sell my trucks. I have built them from the ground up into formidable rock crawling machines! I enjoy the accomplishment I feel when I look at them... knowing that I built them with my own two hands... and yet this week I realized something.

It is this - that as long as I have my trucks I will continue to sink my time, talents and money into them... and not into the places, peoples and experiences with whom and which I feel I should be engaged. From a spiritual perspective there are always forces of light and darkness working in our lives. The awakening that struck me this week was the fact that the darkness doesnt care if we are horrible, mean and nasty people... only that we are not alive and living in the light... the darkness is perfectly content with us being mediocre and comfortable in life.

That is why I must sell my trucks - I can have them or my dreams... but not both. If I keep my trucks I will continue to put money into them and in a very real sense, choose to give up my dreams for something much more mediocre... why... because of the comfort of a feeling and satisfaction I know and the fear of losing even that and not finding it again. Yet at the same time I know in pursuing my dreams there will be individuals, places, peoples, and experiences which will bless my life and open my mind to an extent I cannot yet imagine. These will serve to satisfy my soul and give wings to my heart and mind.

What is it in your life that you are attached to? What keeps you chained to mediocrity and from accomplishing the dreams you feel pulled to achieve? What keeps you from experiencing the expeirences you somehow know you should have? What is your achilles heel? Mine has been my trucks - nothing else in my life I am solidly attached to at this time... my trucks are the only thing that keep me here at this time and the moment I clearly saw the decision between my trucks and my dreams the decision was made.

Some may say... well why not have both?! With time we come to know ourselves and what we will do... I know that if I keep my trucks more time and money will go into them... if I remove them from my life that time and money will go to other worthy goals and progressive endeavors.

Do you know yourself? Are you trying to alter your life while tightly clutching the very vice which keeps you where you are? Look at your life and see what things you need to let go of... it will be hard... but it is worth it... what is worth more - your comfort or your dream?

High-quality Official Speech

2009-07-25T17:17:00.001-07:00

Here is a higher quality, and an official, version of my speech at the July 2009 Graduation of Western Governors University.

Emotional Attachments

2009-07-25T17:16:00.000-07:00

It is a year ago tomorrow that I spoke at my little brothers funeral. We arrived here at the cabin two nights ago after going through the Twin Falls temple to perform a few religious ceremonies for my deceased brother. As I looked at a sheet I was handed listing out my brothers descendents I realized that it was blank... I cried realizing that while I am living there will be no names to fill those lines.

Once we arrived at the cabin I had a little bit of an emotional evening... mostly due to the fact that I slept 30 minutes in the 40 some odd hours before arriving at the cabin. All week long on the trail at Anasazi I had been sleeping 2-4 hours a night because of having to perform night watch all week. After 8 days and nights of draining physical and emotional activity on the trail I arrived home at 1:00 am on Thursday morning and performed the long list of things I had to get done before heading to the airport at 5:00 am. Tammy (a young woman who is living with my family) gave me a ride to the airport and I caught a flight to Salt Lake City. I was seated next to a very interesting one and a half year old who didnt let me sleep much so that flight wasn't very restful although it was a lot of fun.

The next flight from Salt Lake to Twin Falls is where I slept for 30 minutes or so... because of the lack of sleep my brain did not think as logically as it does usually. This was a good thing in the long run. I arrived here and Aaron and Scott (two of my best friends who are both dating my sisters) were already here with my family. I was apparently relegated to the small couch or the floor from the sound of things that Scott, Aaron and my two sisters said - with one of my sisters saying, "Well, some of us were here first..." I snapped back with a comment about how that comment and others like it was the very reason why I didnt ride to the cabin with them from Twin Falls... how although I dont mind joking around a little bit when all four of them jump on me it get's too deep to fast and what they say hurts. I stormed outside, disgusted at myself for losing my temper, and headed down the road toward the bridge where I always tend to sit and think when I am here at the cabin. Joshua and I spent many moments sitting and talking about life down by that bridge.

As I walked down the road towards the bridge I realized a few things, aided by the fact that I was so emotional due to my lack of sleep. One of the things that struck me was how I, who am seemingly never attached to anything, was and am very very attached to the Cabin. The Cabin is my sacred place, my retreat from the world, where I go to escape... and now my sacred place had been invaded. Had I felt normal that thought might not have struck me as it had.

Scott came to find me. He is a great friend and probably the truest friend I have in my life right now not related by blood. We talked for a time when he found me down by the river and he decided to sleep on the smaller couch so that I could sleep on the longer one that my brother and I always used to fight over. The bed Aaron slept on is one that was either Joshua's or mine when we shared a room but for some reason it doesnt hold the same emotional charge as the couch does. I had time to think things through and see clearly why I was so angry and why I felt so violated before Scott got there. I talked with each person individually and apologized to them and simultaneously thanked them for helping me to realize how much this place means to me.

It is often the trying experiences of our lives which hold the greatest lessons and although we do not wish to repeat the experience, whether for our own sake or the sake of others, we would never exchange the lessons earned by the experience of them.

Symbols, Values and People

2009-07-23T05:00:00.000-07:00

In past weeks there have been many moments where the world shifting around me has become lucid for an instant and I have seen clearly, whether through the lens of my vision and perspectives or that of another. I have seen both joyous worlds and worlds where a fleeting pleasure is the byproduct of manipulation, confused with joy.

In particular an example stands out in my mind from this past week. I spent the last 8 days on the trail working with youth who are discovering who they are and what they are capable of. One of these young individuals has introduced and revealed to me a concept that I find intriguing... and he has done so by simply being. As we spoke this past week I made a comment to him and soon thereafter realized how it also applied to me as well... to all of us.

Each and every one of us, at different times in our lives, makes those we love and those we associate with symbols of something we have created in our minds... something which we feel we need in our lives or something we feel that we must repulse from our lives. Once an individual becomes a symbol for something in our lives we stop seeing them as a person... we see them as simply a symbol. If we feel we need or desire that symbol in our lives we decieve ourselves and manipulate them without even knowing it in order to keep them where we feel they should be... "in our lives..." If we feel we must repulse them from our lives we see them in a negative light and are disgusted by them as they have become a symbol for something we despise.

We see people through the symbols we ascribe to them... the symbols we hold dear become a looking glass to our world just as surely as the symbols we hold in disgust become the mirror to our hell.

This past week I heard how this youngwalker not only manipulated me but also his grandmother and all of those dearest to him... in the absense of his grandmother he ascribed that symbol upon my head and I became, in a very real sense to him, whatever his grandmother represented in his life. As we talked he would break down and cry about how much he loved his grandmother and wanted to be with her... at first I believed this whole-heartedly and while I do to some extent I also see clearly now that he also has fallen in love with what she represents to him... He will do anything to protect that symbol in his life. He has said often that he cannot live or function without his grandmother but I see now it is that he cannot live or function, in his own mind, without the presence of that symbol.

The symbols and paradigms of his childhood do not work as he moves from his youth into adulthood. He is desperately trying to hang on to a world which can no longer exist and is manipulating everything and everyone about him in an effort to resist the changing world which besets him.

Over time the symbols of our lives change... certain of them becoming obsolete while others, perhaps loathed at one point, rise to shine as a beacon before us.

What are the symbols and values you have ascribed to those around you? Who are those who you love? What do they represent to you? Do you see them as people... do you truly know them... or have they become the manifestation of those symbols and values you seek most? An example of this is the "trophy wife." A man who believes that image is everything wants his trophy wife because it supports him this endeavor. His trophy wife is not a person to him, though at times she may be, but a symbol he has acquired in order to achieve his own ends - the attainment of his envisioned personal image.

There are many symbols and values which the people in our lives may represent and this is not bad... just let us be sure that we still see them as people, as individuals with hopes, dreams, and desires... and not as the symbols which we have ascribed them as being. Some symbols (both good and bad) can include hope, peace, security, love, image, pride, sex, money, power, poverty, depression, negativity, drive, knowledge, wisdom, etc...

What are the symbols and values that you hold dear? Who do you surround yourself with? Do they seem to fit these values?

What are the symbols and values that you despise? Who do you repulse from your life? Do they seem to fit these values?

Are the values you hold dear not present in your friends and present in others... why? Look at your life... Are those you surround yourself with filled with the values your hold dear and those you repulse filled with those you despise? How many of those you have repulsed have more than one of the values you hold dear and yet you despise them because they possess one of those you would repulse? If so, they may have become a symbol of the latter instead of a person manifesting the former.

We are all human and thus all have weakness... yet we must remember that we all have our seeds of greatness within us... to see them in others we must see them as people... as individuals who have hopes, needs and desires... This invitation I extend to you: to look at the symbols and values in your life... to look at the people both in and out of your life... and see where the discrepencies lie.

Learning to 'Not' Teach

2009-07-13T10:34:00.000-07:00

Here is an amazing article that presents an alternate view of teaching and learning... I look forward to the ideas this article can present to your mind and invite you to explore and learn through these thoughts.

Learning to 'Not' Teach

by Jerry B. Harvey

The George Washington University

One of the most important skills I have learned as a university professor is how to not teach. In fact, I gave up trying to teach long ago. Fortunately, I haven't given up trying to learn. This article, then, is about teaching and learning. It consists of a series of personal statements, questions, hypotheses, conclusions, descriptions, and observations about learning, teaching and learning to 'not' teach. As best I can tell, the series doesn't follow any logical sequence. Learning seldom follows any logical sequence. Teaching does. I hope you find the material to be of interest.

1. The longer I am employed as a professor, the less sure I become as to what a teacher is supposed to do. When I stand up in front of a class and someone says explicitly or implicitly, "teach me," I become confused because I seldom feel as if I have anything to teach.

2. Whenever I do feel I have something to teach, I generally am disappointed. Most of the time, others already know it or don't find it particularly useful, interesting, relevant or profound; and neither do I.

3. I tend to agree with Carl Rogers' (1961) "Personal Thoughts on Teaching and Learning." In essence, he contends that anything of value can't be taught, but that much of value can be learned. I suppose that's one reason I find teaching so unsatisfying and learning so much fun.

4. I find it ironical that the various constituencies of higher learning (students, professors, and administrators) worry so much about teaching. I suspect their concern with teaching has its purpose - to divert energy from the difficult job of learning - which involves essence - and to focus on teaching - which deals with the illusion that the power to grow lies with someone else.

5. "Those who can, do. Those who cannot, teach." A hostile comment to be sure, but one which for some reason is very popular among do's. Try substituting the word "learn" for the word "teach." The comment now reads, "Those who can, do. Those who cannot, learn." The comment no longer makes sense. I wonder why? Maybe the answer to that question says something about the relative importance of teaching and learning.

6. It also occurs to me that teachers require learners in order to survive but that learners don't require teachers. Maybe that's why teachers emphasize the importance of teaching so much. They have to create a market for nonessential services.

7. In my discipline, there is a journal called Exchange: The Organizational Behavior Teaching Journal. What if it were called Exchange: The Organizational Behavior of Learning Journal? I'll bet the content of the articles would be very different and a lot more interesting.

8. As a professor, I don't take responsibility for what others learn. I do take responsibility for what I learn, though. If fact, my basic goal in class is for me to learn something new. What others learn, if anything, is up to them. I'm always pleased to help them learn something if they want to, but I won't be responsible for what they learn or whether they learn it.

9. In fact, I am struck with the bizarre willingness on the part of colleagues to take responsibility for students' learning. I know they take responsibility because they ask colleagues and students to evaluate their teaching ability for purposes of promotion and tenure. They get depressed if students don't perform well in their classes. They read journals on how to improve their teaching effectiveness. Each of those acts indicate they in some way feel they are responsible for what their students learn - or fail to learn.

10. Many of them have the maxim on their desks (or in their minds), "If the student hasn't learned, the teacher hasn't taught." That maxim is quite peculiar, because it clearly implies that the basic responsibility for learning belongs to the professor. Consequently, if the student does badly, the professor is at fault. But, following the same logic rigorously, if the student performs competently the professor must get the credit. For all intents and purposes, then, the student doesn't exist, except as a sort of inanimate, passive receptacle for the professor's competence or incompetence.

11. In my opinion, anytime a professor accepts responsibility for his students' learning, he denies their existence. He doesn't respect them very much, if at all. If students permit the professor to accept responsibility for their learning, they don't respect themselves (or the professor) very much either.

12. When I take seriously the proposition that I am not responsible for students' learning, I become very anxious because it forces me to ask once again, "What is my job?" I wish I could say I've developed a satisfactory answer.

13. I never find grading a satisfactory experience. It deals with teaching, evaluation, accreditation, indoctrination, control, and unthought. It's demeaning to all parties. I get ulcers on the inside of my bottom lip every time I do it.

14. I very much enjoy responding to students' work. I write letters, correct grammar and punctuation, critique, curse, applaud, cheer, and frown. I learn a lot from responding. It's just grading that doesn't make sense.

15. In my classes, students are free to express themselves (use the material) in any way they wish. For their exams, students have written poetry, done scientific research, produced essays, sung theories, made movies, danced analyses of variance, presented plays, juggled (literally) constructs, cooked concepts (which the class ate), composed music, created works of art, and welded nails.

16. Given such freedom, most people have produced extraordinarily competent work. Some have produced work which is very incompetent. Very few have produced anything mediocre.

17. In a learning environment, students either "make it big" or "fail miserably." In a teaching environment, most people fall into the middle (Some say that their performances form a bell-shaped curve. I have concluded that well-shaped distributions of performance in academia are artifacts of an environment in which teaching is stressed. In a learning environment, performance is generally bimodally skewed, with most persons performing very well, a few performing very badly, and almost none falling in the middle.) Maybe that's the purpose of teaching - to insure mediocrity. Bureaucracies have to be staffed from somewhere, and no one is more mediocre than a well-taught student.

18. I require participants in my classes to work on their examinations with at least one other person. They can work with as many others as they like. They don't have to collaborate on a single project. (X may write an essay, Y may sing), but they may work on the same project if they wish. (For example, they may work together on a piece of research.) However they choose to work, they have to share their grades.

19. The reason for eighteen may be found in the literature of behavioral science. Bion (1961), Lynch (1977), Spitz (1946), and Harvey (1977) have pointed out that connection with other persons is a requirement for psychological and physical survival. Alternatively any act (requiring that people work alone) leads to breakdown both mental and physical.

20. The more I have learned to 'not' teach, the more I realize that connection is a requirement for survival, and the more I become interested in learning, then the more disturbed I become when people cheat. I define cheating as the failure to help someone (at his/her request) on the various exams.

21. When I was a youngster, my grandfather used to say, "I'm going to learn you something." Until recently, I thought he wasn't very bright. Now I realize he was probably the smartest of us all.

22. As a learner, I never read the results of student evaluation forms. The forms are evidently useful to others (Bullphrogs, I suspect. They provide them with flies to flick and divert them from the task of draining the swamp (Harvey, 1977)). They are not useful to me, so I never look at them. If I did, I would be inviting students to learn the skills of passivity, non-risk taking, interpersonal incompetence, and irresponsibility. I am always willing to talk with students face-to-face in class about their compliments or their criticisms, but once the class is over, it's too late to make use of either.

23. The more I learn, the more I enjoy competence. The less I teach, the more I experience competence in myself and others. I love to be around competent people because I learn a lot from them and I'm more competent in their presence.

24. The more I learn to 'not' teach, the more anxiety I experience in the classroom. I think the anxiety stems from the fact that I don't really know what will happen from class to class and frequently can't do anything about it when it does.

25. Although I am more anxious in a learning environment, I also have a lot more fun. More events in the classroom are genuinely funny.

26. That reminds me. Have you every wondered why textbooks aren't funny? Have you ever wondered why the Bible isn't funny? Probably for the same reason. They were written to teach you something.

27. Likewise, have you ever known a competent professor, preacher, politician, manager, or student who wasn't funny, who didn't have a sense of humor or an appreciation of the absurd? I haven't. For example, did Jesus ever tell jokes or pass gas in church? (He must have! He ran the money changers out of the Temple, didn't He?) When He did, I'll bet the disciples roared and God laughed. I just wonder why His biographers (textbook writers) forgot to tell us about it. Probably because they were trying to teach us something; and in doing so, they destroyed part of His essence.

28. One last idea. If I've learned anything from being a university professor, it's that I only try to teach those I don't respect. Do let me know if you feel I've tried to teach you something. If so, I'll be glad to apologize.

References

Bion, W., Experiences in Groups, Basic Books, New York, 1961.

Harvey, J., "Organizations as Phrog Farms," Organizational Dynamics, Spring, 1977, pp. 15-23.

Lynch, J., The Broken Heart: The Medical Consequences of Loneliness, Basic Books, New York, 1977.

Rogers, C., "Personal Thoughts on Teaching and Learning" (Chapte13), On Becoming a Person, Houghton Mifflin, Boston, 1952, pp. 272-278.

Spitz, R., "Hospitalism: An Inquiry into the Genesis of Psychiatric Conditions in Early Infancy; A Follow-Up," in The Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, Vol. II, International University Press, New York, 1946.

WGU July 2009 Commencement Speech - Written

2009-07-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

I am reminded of a decision I made years ago that I would never stand in the graduating class of a traditional university. Today, thanks to WGU, I stand here before you, with pride, knowing that this is anything but a traditional university. Although you do not know me I feel as if I know you for we have all been engaged in the same journey for some time. I thank God and WGU for the opportunity to be a part of this, our graduating class.

My journey was a difficult one that began shortly after high school over 8 years ago. I was working full time from 7 in the morning until 6:30 every night, practically seven days a week and then attending school in the evenings. I did this every weeknight until after 10:00 pm. Before the first semester was over I was burned out between work, school and a social life. Additionally, it was hard for me to get excited about school when half the time it felt like we didn’t do anything productive in class or learn anything applicable to what I wanted to do.

Throughout my life I have moved several dozen times and after moving to Arizona in 2001 I found it difficult to stay put for a long period of time. The 18 week time frame of one semester was just too much time in one place and it drove me nuts! I would start a semester of school once I convinced myself of the importance of school again and then quit school again to travel and pursue my dreams. After 5 years I finally received my two-year associate’s degree.

My mother and I have had many discussions about the need for an education as I am sure most of your mothers have with you at some point… and today each one of us here has done something in our lives that many of us, as well as those around us, have prayed and hoped we would do for years… Thanks mom, for all your support. For others of you here you were told it could not be done, or worse, you told yourself you could not do it! But here you are… and you’ve done it -we’ve done it.

WGU was the answer to my prayers in a sense. I found a master’s program a year and a half ago that I wanted to pursue but I found the traditional approach painfully slow and restricting. Fitting my working, traveling and learning schedule into the traditional educational framework never seemed to work out. I started working at the University of Phoenix and was attending school there, but within five months the job quickly became repetitive. While there I met a woman who always wore a smile, who loved her students, and with whom I shared many a laugh. That woman is my mentor here today: Eunice Quintana-Smark. She quit working there so that she could come work here at WGU shortly before I left to go to Spain. She shared with me the ideas behind education here at WGU.

The year after leaving the University of Phoenix I called Eunice and requested her as my mentor here at WGU. That was the beginning of this year. Since then I have completed 103 credits to complete my degree today. I spent many sleepless nights writing essays and reading course materials.

The journey has been exhilarating and it reminds me of an analogy I have grown to love since the passing of my brother last year. I call it The Sandbox. When we were young the sandbox was our heaven and we were its masters! Anything we created came to be and with the instigation of our imaginations we created a world therein.

When we were little children and the sandbox stood in front of us, what did we do? Did we talk ourselves into playing in our heads? Did we argue with ourselves? Did we put it off until later? No… we just stepped into the sandbox and played. That is how we experience life. That is how we love others. That is how we accomplish our dreams. Step into the sandbox and play with abandon. We have all played in the sandbox here at WGU, some with more abandon than others… but we have all played.

Life is a lot like the sandbox. We must step into the sandbox of life and play… not think about it… not wonder if we can… if it’s possible… if we will be good at it… or what others will say… we must simply step in and play. I extend that invitation to you today, to step from the sandbox you have been in these past months and years and step whole heartedly into the sandbox before you.

Degree in hand there are many paths you may now walk upon which were previously closed to the measured step of your careful tread. There are new parks and meadows which are now open for your exploration. There are new sandboxes all around you and all you have to do is make the decision to step in and play.

Make a difference in your chosen profession and become excellent in all that you do and in who you are. This day is but a stepping stone on the path into your future. Where will you step next? What path will feel your weight? What will be your contribution to yourself, to your family, to your community, and to the world?

Remember that it is the difficult moments of life which are magical. Magic is all around us in life. In the pursuit of a companion, which I have not yet found, it is because they are so difficult to find that it is magical when you do. Everything magical is made so by the resistance we experience along the way to its achievement. So next time you experience hardship, remember that such moments, though it may not seem so at the time, will only serve to make your life more magical in years to come.

May we, each of us, stand up and be seen, be and become what and who we can be. On the path of life we are all blessed with experiences to help us become better but it is our choice that determines what those experiences make of us. Today is a special day, a ceremony in honor of the last six months, two years, four years, or more. It honors the experience we have chosen to undertake. Today it is each of us, individually and collectively, who is honored in this ceremony. I am privileged and honored to have a belonging place here with you. I look forward to the future and to playing in the sandboxes of life with abandon. Good luck my friends in the new sandboxes of your lives… it has been a pleasure playing with you!

WGU July 2009 Graduation Commencement Speech - Video

2009-07-11T19:09:00.000-07:00

Earlier today I spoke at the 2009 Commencement Ceremony in Salt Lake City for Western Governors University (WGU). I was the final student speaker and following is a copy of my speech as recorded by my sister. Thanks Sis!