It’s kind of hard to pump it up without dubstep blasting in the background, Shep.

It’s kind of hard to understand how this customization differs from ME2‘s (lack of) customization without your manly baritone explaining the images I’m seeing, Shep.

It’s kind of hard to see how the stakes are so high when your first decision would in no way, shape, or form prevent you from expressing the information in the alternative decision before that nice asari left, Shep.

It’s kind of hard to complain about this awesome enemy variety, Shep. At least you’re getting the combat aspects of your game right.

See above.

Okay, so clearly I have some reservations about Mass Effect 3 (namely, how much my decisions in ME1 are actually going to matter), but I also think that the core gameplay looks more exciting than any pure Shooter on the market. Ultimately, I think that the conclusion to Shepard’s epic trilogy will be much like its predecessor–one of the slickest, most exciting action experiences around with some smoke and mirrors creating the illusion of choice. If you go in with those expectations, then I doubt you’ll be disappointed.

Oh, and before I let you go I just wanted to let all of you in on a top secret rumor I’ve heard from anonymous sources within BioWare: if you pre-order now, you can unlock the M55 Argus rifle. You heard it here first!

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You know, if you’re looking for a free competitive PC Shooter experience that isn’t as good as Team Fortress 2. Fewer classes = inferior experience, and that’s just math.

Ghost Recon Online closed beta starts March 5, check out these classes now [Joystiq]

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You know, Suda 51′s particular brand of zaniness hasn’t always done it for me, but I think that discussions of procreation with decapitated heads might be just the right level of wackiness. When I first saw Lollipop Chainsaw I was sort of creeped out, but I finally get it now. Maybe when it comes out you all can give it to your significant others as a belated Valentine’s Day present; nothing says “I love you” like thoraxless speech!

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In one of the more bizarre happenings of developer Double Fine’s history, the studio has turned to fans–via Kickstarter–to fund its next game. Now you might be wondering why an established studio is using a fundraising service designed for struggling indies to get a game off the ground. Well, to put it simply, publishers aren’t too keen on the idea of PC Point-and-Click Adventure titles any more. Supposedly, there’s no market for them.

Yet 27,700 people have donated $1,056,249 in just over 24 hours. That number far surpasses the $400,000 goal Double Fine set out to reach, and there are still 32 days of fundraising to go. Apparently, there’s still a rabid market for games like The Secret of Monkey Island and Day of the Tentacle. And with Tim Schafer and Ron Gilbert reuniting for the first time since those glorious Lucasarts days, that’s exactly the kind of quality donators are expecting.

The response to Double Fine’s experiment has been phenomenal and could be the start of something big. But as for the game itself, things are staying small. Schafer has said that the initial budget was $300,000 for the game and $100,000 for a documentary on the development process, with the documentary being handled by 2 Player Productions (Minecraft: The Story of Mojang). As of right now, the extra funds mean that the title “can appear on more platforms, be translated into more languages, have more music and voice, and an original soundtrack for the documentary, and more!” It will be interesting to see what Double Fine decides to do if the number keeps going up over the next month.

What is for sure is that this fan-funded project will allow the developer to “make the game they want to make, promote it in whatever manner they deem appropriate, and release the finished product on their own terms.” Also of note is the documentary half of the project. According to the project’s Kickstarter page, “since they’re [Double Fine] only accountable to themselves, there’s an unprecedented opportunity to show the public what game development of this caliber looks like from the inside. Not the sanitized commercials-posing-as-interviews that marketing teams only value for their ability to boost sales, but an honest, in-depth insight into a modern art form that will both entertain and educate gamers and non-gamers alike.” That alone sounds like something worth supporting.

Ah, yes: if you’re interested in pledging your support for this fascinating little project, you can start donations for as little as your average DLC pack. That’s right, a $15 donation will get you “The finished game in all its awesome glory on Steam, exclusive access to the PC Beta on Steam, access to the video series [documentary], and access [to] the private discussion community.” That last part refers to the fact that Double Fine will be taking input from the community on what should be in the game, letting you know your voice matters just as much as your dollar. There are various other incentives for donating, such as autographed posters or even a lunch with Mr. Schafer and Mr. Gilbert themselves, although the requisite donations tend to get a little pricier when it comes to the more insane incentives.

For now, this strange and wonderful experiment is set to come to fruition around October. We can’t know for sure what the final product will end up being with such awesome support, but whatever it turns out to be, the twisted minds of Tim Schafer and Ron Gilbert ensure a certain level of hilarity will be present. Is that worth sacrificing the latest Modern Warfare 3 map pack to you?

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A generic trailer for a generic game. At least they’re consistent…

ly sucky. High five!

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The characters from that other Resident Evil game. You know, the one that everybody forgot about when RE6 was announced. Or maybe it was RE: Revelations that we all forgot. But just because this particular entry in the series is old hat doesn’t mean that its riveting one-liners can’t compete with the best Capcom has to offer. “I don’t get paid enough for this,” indeed.

And as long as I’m on the topic of Capcom’s masterful grasp of the English language, I’ll give somebody ten space bucks if you can think of a game with more syllables in its name than RE: ORC.

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Apparently they start counting from zero in Poland. Still, CD Projekt Red is really moving up in the world these days: they’re finally developing on consoles, they’ve managed to find some English speaking staff members for marketing videos, and maybe, just maybe, they’ll start counting from one some day. Not that it really matters; they can count from negative one just as long as they keep treating their games with the respect and tact such quality experiences deserve.

The definitive version of The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings comes out April 17th on Xbox 360.

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In which we do battle with a giant, electrified-evil-malaria carrying bug.

Let’s Finish is InsaneBear’s weekly video series in which I slowly whittle away at my backlog of unfinished games. Hijinks generally ensue as I pick up right in the middle of games I haven’t played in years. New Let’s Finish videos can be found here every Friday-Monday around 12:00PM EST.

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Because we wuv you and your internet traffic so very much!

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“You don’t win the battle by doing what’s right. You win by doing what’s necessary.” Gee golly, I sure can’t wait to unlock the mustard gas perk after 3-starring the torture section! I mean seriously, does Ubisoft not realize what a huge field day the media could have with a trailer like this? Frankly, I wouldn’t even blame them. This is nothing short of gadget porn that glorifies dehumanizing technology with the power to kill.

I’m not some liberal lunatic denouncing all acts of war or media depictions of them, but I am a person who’s getting real sick of waiting for “Mature” titles to live up to their branding. But hey, the developers don’t even seem to have a full understanding of the “ghost” concept, so I guess I’ll cut their ignorance some slack.

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