That got me thinking. In my mind, an expert was someone like Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, the Wright Brothers or Warren Buffett. An expert was someone bigger than life. Well, maybe they were just someone bigger than me. How could I be an expert?

I decided to look up the definition of expert and this is what I found: “Someone who is very skilled at something or knows a lot about a particular subject.” Well, that’s doesn’t sound bigger than life. As a matter of fact, that sounds very achievable.

Be an expert today. Learn something new and start to polish your skills. But don’t forget: Your credibility as an expert means nothing if it’s not built on a solid foundation of honesty and integrity.

Take your corners!

Oh, wait a minute. I forgot to tell you. This fight is one that’s taking place within ourselves. It’s the self-defeating battle that we’re not even conscious of most of the time. It’s the negative self-talk that we beat ourselves over the head with. What bullies we are! We never follow the rules. We have no problem dropping a pile-driver on ourselves after just being laid out by a body slam.

Did you know that our greatest assets are also our weakest links?

Well, that changes the fight, doesn’t it? Now we can put ourselves on a fair playing ground. Let’s see how we can start to build our line of self-defense.

For example: Obsessed vs. passionate. Instead of beating myself up by thinking that I’m obsessive, I realize and accept that I’m very passionate about what I do. Or here’s another one: Hyper vs. energetic. Rather than feeling embarrassed, I acknowledge that I’m an energetic and enthusiastic person. Where do you need to challenge yourself?

All bets are on you! This is one upset I’ll be rooting for!

If you handled each situation in your life as it came up, the need for argument would diminish significantly. If you didn’t feel afraid or hurt, what would you say differently in your relationships that currently have conflict?

We’ll start with insight. Simply put, our insight is our understanding, the way we observe and take in information that at one time might not have been clear to us. This allows us to have a new understanding of a particular situation or person.

Next up is foresight. Foresight is responsible for looking ahead, planning our future. Foresight helps us to be one step ahead of the game.

And last, but now least, is hindsight. Good ‘ol hindsight. I admit, hindsight needs no formal introduction with me. From time to time, I have been there! Have you ever had thoughts like this: “In hindsight, I should’ve spent more time with my family,” or “In hindsight, I shouldn‘t have bought that big house.” Or maybe you know hindsight by its alias “if.” “If only I hadn’t worked so late every night” or “If only my mortgage payment was smaller.” Hindsight is kind of funny because it keeps the past in the present!

It makes sense that we spend time with all three of our sights. But we don’t want to get trapped in any one of them for too long. My insight and intuition show that I trust myself to do the right thing and make the best decisions that I can. I have foresight–the ability to plan for my future, taking action when needed. Being prepared can help cushion some of the hits that come along.

And then there’s hindsight. Thank goodness for hindsight! If it weren’t available to us, we’d go through life with our blinders on. I think it’s the most powerful of our sights. Hindsight is a gift. We’re given the ability to reflect back on ourselves while moving forward with the opportunity for a new chance.

How will you spend your chance?

Relationships = Resources = Results

Let’s start at the end of the equation, because sometimes it’s easier to start with what we know. I know I would like to have better results in my life, but I need help with that. I need resources. I need to surround myself with people who are interested in helping me because I have taken the time to develop a relationship with them. And I help them, too.

So whether it’s on a personal or business level, the relationships we develop are the foundation for our success. I know I love being surrounded by great people! How about you?

And if you do find a job that matches your passion and skills, there aren’t any guarantees that it’ll be financially prosperous.

You could spend your whole life looking for that perfect fit–and you could die trying.

That’s why I propose what I call “I-Merge.” I-Merge is kind of like the line from the Stephen Stills’ tune: “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.”

Make the best of what you have and if something better comes along, you can always move on. In the meantime, you can find great joy and prosperity by merging your passions and interests with your job.

Let’s suppose you want to be a keynote speaker, but you’re working a factory job. You could ask management to allow you to teach a training class to your peers. You have now merged your job and your passion.

You’d like to be a chef, but you’re a corporate executive. Host an employee-appreciation day, with the top management cooking for the employees–and you’re the celebrity chef. You have now merged your job and your passion.

You’re very excited about serving the community, but you work for a hotel. You could volunteer for a nonprofit by serving on the fund-raising committee for the gala hosted at your hotel. You have now merged your job and your passion.

If you’re going to work day in and day out, you deserve to bring a little bit of yourself into the mix. The act of engaging in your joy and passion will lead to more opportunities, possibly leading to that dream job.

For example:

“I was very impressed with your training session last week! You are a great speaker with an interesting perspective. Would you be willing to speak at the trade conference next year?”

“The food you prepared for the employee-appreciation day was scrumptious! Could I hire you to cater a party I’m hosting?

“I know you’re happy with the hotel, but we could really use a full-time event planner for our nonprofit, and you did a great job with our event. Are you interested?”

You never know. Give it a try. I-Merge your life and career!

What are you willing to sacrifice to know who you are? What are you worth? How much time are you willing to spend in a training room or with a coach? How much are you willing to invest to continue to educate yourself or to open up your feelings?

When you come to your final day, you’ll definitely be out of time. What will be the sum of your life? Will you have spent your time and money for freedom–freedom from regret? Start today to live life to the fullest!

What I notice is that the more I’m stepping outside my comfort zone and the more I’m accepting new opportunities and challenges, it’s pretty certain that I’m going to make mistakes. If I’m only doing the things that I‘m comfortable with–the ones with the guaranteed outcomes–am I really going to achieve what I am fully capable of?

The truth is, each day is just a test run, a practice for tomorrow. Each day, I have everything I need to be my best and do my best. If I can put my judgments aside, today will actually provide me with all the opportunities to approach tomorrow even more prepared! Be willing to embrace the good as well as the bad. Learn from both.

I wonder what opportunities will show up today?

I find this disheartening since this approach, what I call “poker negotiations,” has a level of distrust associated with it. Why do I call it “poker negotiations”? Because both parties hold their cards and keep them secret from each other.

The belief is that if you share your cards, the other party will win and you will lose. This is an old model for negotiations. What exactly is “winning” and “losing” in business, anyway? To me, if either party loses out, then the transaction is a failure. Both parties lose.

I’ve been trying a new method in business. Instead of hiding my cards, I am showing my cards.

Wouldn’t life be a lot easier if we just put our cards on the table? What if I told my client, “I see you have a queen, I could use a queen.” Or what if my customer says, “Do you mind if I borrow your jack?”

It might seem silly, but my business has boomed since taking this approach. With the cards on the table, nobody has to lose and business moves fast.

This approach works in relationships as well. Give it a try sometime–you might like it!

Do you find that you keep score? As long as it’s your turn, you apologize: “I go.” If you think it’s not your turn, then the other person must go: “You go.” My guess is that often you think it’s their turn to apologize and they think it’s your turn. Checkmate: “Ego.”

If there is one loser in a relationship, you really don’t have a winner. When given the opportunity, drop the “I,” “You” and “E” and just “go.” Go ahead and apologize. Do what’s best for the relationship!