I Built The Innanet

ZLRMNTLTY & Pumpsicle Mobile

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 20:30:00 +0000

"You ain't figured out what this is about yet... Always rockin' that 'this ain't out yet.'" -- Kanye West

Zillz is more than ha ha's, web design and hip-hop music. If that isn't enough, I want to show you all other facets of myself. Facets that I feel fit in the realm that I Built The Innanet is. So while it's still in its infancy, I want you all to check out ZLRMNTLTY.

And for all of you fans of women's fashion (even you Morehouse brothas), Pumpsicle can now be viewed from your mobile device at m.pumpsicle.com. Yes. And it's still on Blogger :O !

It's Gonna Take A Superman

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 22:30:00 +0000

* stands arms akimbo *

Bonnie Tyler ladies and gentlemen. I know this song is going to be stuck in your head for the rest of the day. Congrats.

Btw, holla at me on Google Wave. bawse.

Sketchy Arrrrrrm! Band Monnnntaaaaage!

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 23:30:00 +0000

The Literal Version is nuts.

A-Ha!

I Never Thought I'd Meet A Girl Like You. Meet A Girl Like You

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 20:30:00 +0000

This is that stuff we need to play for aliens when they finally visit.
Or that music that Tony Montana snorted ski slopes with.
Or your parents' co-workers sniffin' while they watch Tony Montana snorted ski slopes.

This song sold a lot of GTA.

* breathes in * mmmmmmmm numbness.

You Shouldn't Have To Settle Your Soul

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 21:30:00 +0000

I'm talking to youuuuuuuu...c'mon!

Can you imagine staring into the never-ending landscape as the sun is setting yelling at rhythm, "SHOUT SHOUT LET IT OUUUUUUUUUUT!"

And a master race of blond haired blue eyed chirren in the chorus!

This is the type of music Steven Segal does his hand puppet motion shadowboxing to.
While standing on a boulder.
With big waves crashing against 'em.

It's My Own Design. It's My Own Remorse

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 20:39:00 +0000

In Case You Forgot, Show 'N Tell Is Back!

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 22:30:00 +0000

Want your kid to be the envy of first grade? Get him one of these!

It fights bullies too!

I'm So Hoooooooooood!

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 18:30:00 +0000

I've learned that eating large amounts of cheese pizza will cause my booty to jiggle in ways that only dudes from the hood can appreciate. -- @theonlytfg

Happy Birthday Fly Girl.

Some Fools Think Of Happiness Blissfulness Togetherness

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 01:00:00 +0000

I'm not being melancholy, I just needed to remind myself of a few facts.

Willing To Sacrifice Our Love

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 23:30:00 +0000

Foreigner - "Cold As Ice"

I Tell Ladies, I Want It All And I Want It Now

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 22:30:00 +0000

Queen!

And So I Asked Twitter: What's Proper Etiquette When You Spot A Roach At Your Friend's Place?

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 19:30:00 +0000

I have to thank my followers and @necolebitchie and her EXTENSIVE Twitter network of followers. But it's evident there has been LOTS of experience in this scenario.

@necolebitchie - LOL
@dgm_linked - What's the answer? Lol
@Ms JRiCH - Shake your coat and RUN! LMAO
@mcortney - smoke it
@o_Okillyoself - Watch where you sit and check your clothes before you go.
@Ms_Chivonne - Grab your stuff and RUN while screaming
@prettylondongrl - Run, lol
@Priincesss - LMAO
@BrwnAnBeautiful - WOW
@newyorka - slowly pick up your purse, and ignore it
@EffortlessFee - lol good? I usually don't say anything. Just keep my eye on it
@tiggatigga - Say you gotta go
@JennyJeanMichel - Don't eat, drink or place your bag down!
@WisePoly - or cha cha slide n kill
@sabkearney - clutch your ish tight. You don't wanna take it home
@dDotbop - LMAO
@mindofmikedre - twitpics & post
@Seltzar - act like you don't see but run to other side of the room
@nonebetter - kill it for them
@GooglemeBabe - act like you don't see it and leave STAT
@ChiChiMsMedia - LMAO!!! ignore it?
@QuiWest - LMAO!
@youCEEme - Don't panic!
@iamBolaji - politely excuse yourself and never come back
@huchick2006 - give the friend a gift basket of Raid products with a nice ribbon on top and to NOT eat there.
@Bird_E - Kill it! They know they have roaches
@KayLexington - step on it and pick up your purse
@pymrod - pretend like I ain't see it, they already know they got bugs
@theonlyTadi - you leave! i'm not risking one coming home with me
@HNICMAGAZINE - Pretend you don't see it. Brush your clothes off when you leave
@MzDeDe23 - Act like you don't see it but protect yourself by all means LOL
@MizzNysha - yo seriously though, what is?
@Newilli - Yessiree!!
@TEEOHWHY - :-|
@Sledge_Girl - leave as fast as you can. it's impolite to steal.
@MiizNiecy - EEGads!!! Haha!!
@onlysongzbabii - ACT AS IF YOU DIDN'T SEE IT lol
@rodnelonline - Lmao. I've always ignored. But then it's just awkward
@mrzhollywood - Wow!
@NoreeVictoria - Be real about it...offer to kill it?..."you've got a visitor, want me to get that?"
@OohJazzy - You stupid! LOL
@deejdollaz - Say you suddenly got sick
@919Princess - Act like you don't see it but protect yourself by all means LOL!
@MissGoodee - Grab your bag and run!!
@SelfEsteemQueen - RUN OUT AS FAST AS YOU CAN!
@kandisknight - LOL!!!
@thenflchick - WTF LMAOOOOOOO
@MissZindzi - Pretend you don't see it, or if you know the person well enough, tell them, or just kill it
@siirensays - I'd ignore it. If I'm eating, I'd ignore it and excuse myself to the bathroom.
@CathrynMarie - lol kill it #kanyeshrug
@flymaintenace - Try to look away and pretend like you didn't see anything.
@MicheMo - only YOU would ask a question like this
@nishayvette - proper etiquette is to leave before you carry one of them bad boys to your crib! lol!
@toflo - Chase it down and kill it for them...no one likes to see them live
@pigsknlvnglady - Act like you don't see it!! How embarrassing !!

When Favre Has Less Than 2 Min Left In The 4th Quarter, You Play This

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 18:30:00 +0000

Real Men Do Real Things Twitter Rant

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 00:30:00 +0000

From the bottom up please! And thank you reading!

during a handshake, if the other guy says you have soft hands. neither of you are real men. always be unsoft. and he shouldn't have noticed.

real men know that everything we do is violent.

you know you're a real man when you shave in the morning, your entire beard grows back by 5pm.

real men don't eat tarts. but we eat cakes. never a ho ho.

real men don't know all of the names of the atl housewives (shouts to @acejoncesqcdc)

real men don't know what garnish is. so don't ask.

ladies if you ever got your booty grabbed, congratulations a real man just greeted you.

real men don't get facials. they give facials.

real men finish all conversations with uppercuts.

@OohJazzy because real men are pimps.

@acehustle real boy status!

my daughter @OohJazzy always the comedian. she's for sale.

@iwyk yes that's (clifford the big red dog) acceptable! man's best friend. in reply to iwyk

real men meals consist of some mammal and potatoes.

real men don't laugh, we guffaw.

real men have pets like battlecat or a big blue ox

when you're a real man, everything you do is heay.

real men don't cry when bambi momma died.

real men eat the cone. women gotta know we mean business!

@rawdawgbuffalo when my daughter asked me could she get a nutty buddy, i told her to sit down and man up.

real men don't order "nutty buddy's"

real men don't know what sherbe is.

if you are a man, you can't drink a mango smoothie.

Life Is So Short

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 17:30:00 +0000

The world doesn't stop.
People acknowledge your passing for about 5 minutes.
And you usually never see it coming.
Yet it's inevitable.
Death is the reminder.

And we're back to step 1.

Enjoy EVERY DAY.

Why Did Warrant Rap Better In The 80's Than Most Rappers Do Today?

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 22:30:00 +0000

Favre Haiku

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 18:30:00 +0000

Pink-cleeted Brett Favre
Slow-dancing in the pocket
Should be quite a site (FavreHaiku)

Was love of the Pack
Now they hate, loved by Vikings
Endless Monday hype (Don V)

Quarterback Brett Favre
Looking good in September
But in December...? (Scott E)

Purple Favre is wrong
But a black & blue version
Fine with Green & Gold (FavreHaiku)

Packers and Vikings
The grudge match intensifies
4 times over 4 (FavreHaiku)

In the beginning
It's all good...beautiful bride...
But honeymoon ends (FavreHaiku - ask the Jets)

OK, admit it
That looked like the old Brett Favre
A few more wrinkles (FavreHaiku)

Gotta give credit
Where you see credit is due
Great catch Greg Lewis (FavreHaiku)

Favre Haiku snatched from Gridiron Gals

When You See That Honking Antelope!

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 19:30:00 +0000

Serj Tankian is the illest.

"Taste It! Chew On It! Swallow It!" -- Mike Singletary

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 16:30:00 +0000

Farve. Lewis.

I Always Hear: "Didn't Al Gore Build The Intenet?"

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 20:30:00 +0000

I ask you this... how many "Al Gore Designed It" tags do you see on those sites?

Things That Black Men Get Blamed For

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 17:30:00 +0000

gooning, grape soda, pimpin', slappin', rims, Vin Diesel, boxing, unemployment, degradation of women, watermelon, children (or chirren) with poor dispositions, Maury, rising steroid usage, dunking, AIDS, laziness, baby daddy syndrome, crunk juice, divorce rate, ignorance, finding leprechauns, high blood pressure, orange soda, shoplifting, illiteracy, gout, Becky, menthol, chicken, popularizing "wife-beater" instead of "A-Shirt", bad credit, starring on COPS, diabetes, blunts, doo-rag, donk, fruit punch, chevys and cadillacs, bawse, dressing in drag for funny movies, crack addiction, crackheads, crack supply, crack demand, crack year to date yield net sales revenues, and every problem that the black women currently, historically and will ever have in the future.

Chicken Niggotry Twitter Rant

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 19:30:00 +0000

Stereotypes are built upon some sort / version of the truth. Yes white people, we love chicken. You are not allow to repeat that. Consider it..."our secret."

You know the drill. Read from the bottom up.

Even though u just went psycho and robbed Hardee's for 10piece meal deal it's okay. You earned it. The niggotry. take a bite of BRESS n THY

Swine Flu: "You must really wanted that chicken!" You climb down and buck at a customer get in the car.

The woman is stunned. You point at her to get the chicken. She loads it up gives u two extra pieces and a gallon of iced tea.

A crumb falls off the big dude's uniform and before he can breath through his mouth you say. "IF YOU SPEAK I WILL SLAP YOU!"

You got one foot ON the counter and a hunk of the counter in your right hand. Somebody behind u says "I woulda did the same thing."

It gets quiet for a second. Everybody looking at you like you just walked in with a bomb strapped to your chest. You look down and realize

you just had enough. me: BITCH SHUT THE F UP & GET MY CHICKEN!!!!

Swine Flu: "You doing real good now I see! Can I borrow a dollar?" Behind You: "This is some bs!" Big Dude: "Uh Uh!" Woman: "You R A DAWG!"

Your eye starts to twitch. The woman now goes into a spazzfest on how the big dude is just like all of the other men who failed her in life

eating the chicken. And the woman is mad that he lied pointing the tongs at him. Somebody behind you says. "I know he didn't just lie!"

And wants to talk about how u were when u a baby in between coughs and sneezes. You clench the counter harder. Now the big dude lied about

Big dude rubs the grease from around his mouth onto his uniform. Swine Flu recognizes u when u were a baby cuz he knows your parents.

But nobody is talking about getting your chicken. You make a fist and stay clenching. You lean on the counter. Swine Flu still talking

Swine Flu is trying to talk to you. There are ppl talking behind you. And the chicken lady and the big dude are talking to one another...

There's a line forming around you and some ol' man scoots his way beside you. Of course he has a cold. and he's trying to return a burger.

The woman stops getting the chicken to talk to the big dude about something not related to chicken. Probably about how she hate her job.

jibber jabberin'. laughin'. actin' up. One worker comes from the back, he's a big dude. So you thinking he eating up the chicken. He did.

back and foh. She looks around. In the meantime, all kinds of thoughts going through your head. All of the other workers are NOT WORKING

You see the tongs bounce from wing to wing. You thinking, "Oooh! she just missed a nice piece! What is she doing?" She's pushing the wings

The sides go in the box no prob. But the person who's getting the chicken. Is being all picky with the pieces she's trying to give you!

...like MJ or Tiger Woods hitting the game winning shot. And here's where that roulette wheel comes into play. You name your meal and sides,

It's that serious! So you run the gambit and when you do find out that chicken is in the house, you say "YES!" like floetry and fist pump...

If this type of miscalculation was made in football training camp, instead of chicken let's say gatorade, people could die from dehydration!

McDonald's NEVER ran out of burgers. a la So it's scientifically unpossible for a chicken spot to run out of chicken! "You're joking right?"

Black ppl don't get mad that there's no chicken at a chicken spot. It's just that, we feel that we're getting bs'd. And rightfully so.

First you gotta get IN the game: And for some reason, these chicken shacks RUN OUT of chiggen!

When you goto KFC, or Popeyes, or Bojangles, or Hardee's for some chicken, it's almost like roulette wheel in a casino in Vegas.

Knocking On My Door Twitter Rant

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 19:30:00 +0000

I barely answer the door. People probably think I'm a hermit hahaha. Here's why. And per usual, read from the bottom to the top.

The only 2 ppl who knock on the door that u r happy to see r the pizza man & the weed man. But they both hate THEIR own lives. so there!

When Taraji P. Henson or Madea answered any door in that movie. They were angry and they yelled because them kids were bugging!

Not to beat a dead horse but think about the number of times you had to answer the door. You didn't say YAY! You said Lawd Have Mercy Damn!

They be like 5'9. Last year, one boy wore his JV Football Uniform. Talking about he's a running back for Halloween. He plays DB on the team

And the most begging-est of all ppl knocking on your door when you don't want 'em to:Trick-Or-Treaters. they don't even wear costumes anymore

Your punk ass neighbor has a kid who is selling those generic ass chocolate bars for $2.50 each. He WILL knock on your door.

So they are only good on their first visit. Subsequent visits (which there will be, because they are creatures of habit) will be annoying.

Crackheads will knock on your door if they've stole something for you. Which is good. But they don't know how to NOT come back.

When the bad guys came to kill Tony Montana they got shot THROUGH the door!

On Home Alone. Every time the crooks TOUCHED a door, they were injured!

At Pinky's Record Store. Baby D and Day Day's unbaby mama knocked on the door. And they tried to whoop his ass.

When Craig tried to get at Baby Joker's fine ass sister, he had to run across the street! Thank you.

In Next Friday when the mailman knocked on the door, he gave Day Day a notice that the bank was foreclosing on the house. smh

...when I answered the door. It came out to 2.945%. Those are not good odds. If you think I'm being pessimistic think about this...

That's why I don't answer the door. I got an A in Statistics. When I moved into my place I figured out the probability of being happy...

Avon ladies: magazines. Neighbors: wanna borrow stuff. Family: money.

Girl Scouts knock. what do they want? Money for cookies. Jehova's Witness knock. what do they want? To bug you about the Lawd.

You can always count on one thing when ppl knock on your door before calling...and that's BEGGING!

And finally the last mofos that you want to knock on your door are ppl who don't call first.

I hate the DARE cop. I even hate McGruff the crime dog. Don't knock on my door.

Not on CHIPS. Not on Hill Street Blues. Not on Hunter. Not on Police Academy. And def not on Hawk. I got friends who are cops . i hate em.

The Police. I've never witnessed an instance, where police have knocked on a door and brought good news! Not ever...

Not only his industry is replaced by the @ symbol. But he brings me bills. (and ice grills) ...not joy. "Come get yo package."

#1 The Mailman. Now u prolly not like me. Me and my Mailman have a legitimate beef. He hates me. And I hate his mawnkey ass.

The only ppl who like to knock on your door. Are the mofos you don't wanna see. The mofos who think it's okay to bother you.

Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes. they got millyunnnns of dollars. Have they knocked on your door yet? nope.

Trash man. He comes to get your garbage and doesn't knock on your door.

You gotta chase the ice cream man down the damn street for a rainbow pop.

People you do wanna see...Never bother to knock on your door. Example: ice cream man.

And it begins...

President Jimmy Carter Says Some Criticsm Against President Obama Is Largely Based On Race; White House Disagrees

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 22:30:00 +0000

...Thoughts?

If You Owe Me Money Twitter Rant

noreply@blogger.com (zillz) — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 19:30:00 +0000

Just like the last one, please read from the bottom up.

That's just a small list of stuff i'd do to somebody who owes me $25. Lawd be a speedy paypal transaction if you owe me more.

i'll tell you who your real daddy is. identity crisis.

I'll call you and ask if you left the iron on.

I'll drill a hole in your wall and put 2 roaches in it.

I'll replace your silverware and china with sporfs.

You come home your tv don't work. Cuz I changed it to channel 4. no espn.

I'll call the courthouse, tell 'em you ready for jury duty. You bringing cupcakes.

I'll give Jehova's Witness a the spare key to your domicile. praise jesus.

I'll sit a cat on your car so the alarm keep going off.

I'll call your parents and have a nice conversation.

I'll call Comcast, Cox, Time Warner, DirectTV and tell 'em you got FIOS.

I'll call your job and ask for child support.

I'll superglue a gnome on your lawn.

I'll toilet paper teepee your duplex.

i'll dump all the ice out of your ice tray.

I'll follow you to Chuck E. Cheese and take all the tokens away from your seed. And whatever tickets she got, they my tickets now.

Track you down. Like when white guys touch a footprint and be like "These are fresh." Yeah I do that.

You can owe me $25 dollars, I'm putting your Middle Name up here first. I'm calling Rite Aid and canceling your grandma's prescriptions.

I got your baby pictures too, your dog's paw prints. You can't hide.

I'ma put your email address AND phone number up there too. And Ima take you off the Do Not Call List. interrupt yo dinner.

I'ma start puttin' ppl who owe me money on front street ( aka Twitter & Facebook ) ...deadbeats.