Welcome to the second in the three-part series entitled “15 Non-SXSW Things to Do or Eat in Austin.” Today, I’d like to offer up advice on another topic quite close to my heart — shopping. With Austin firmly planted on the up and up economically, it’s a great place to drop some cash should you have the occasion to have a surplus.

So like I said in my previous post, I’m in no way attempting to compete with drocolate’s near-fanatical, yet truly fantastical pre-appraisal of SXSW events, I’m rather attempting to create a complementary set of to-dos for you to do with what you will. And if you happen not to come up for air during this particular jaunt to the A-town, save it for next time.

Without further ado…

SHOPS!

Okay so I must caveat this shopping list of sorts with the fact that when I was in college I couldn’t afford to do much shopping at all. In fact, most of my shopping was limited to the sale rack at The Gap on The Drag (may it rest in peace). So I’m getting into my little time machine, as we all wish we could, with the knowledge of quality fabrics and fashion sense I have now, and going back to the Austin of back then. Except with the stores they have now. Or something. Let’s go to the mall!

SHOPS! #5
Shop indie-style in the shops on South Congress

South Congress is the new Southern Comfort

I’ll begin with a mystical place where there’s truly something for everyone. I dare you to come with a group of people with all different depths of pockets, likes, dislikes and hankerins (that’s Texan for Jonesings, which in turn is Hipster for cravings). Anyway, it’s guaranteed, they’ll all be able to find something that intrigues them — from window shopping the flamboyant costumes at Lucy in Disguise with Diamonds/Electric Ladyland to the resale boutiques to the higher-end shops like Love. There are hotels, restaurants (do not miss the Amy’s ice creams available via walk-up), salons and more to take in on this packed street. Don’t forget to look up every once-in-a-while and notice the picturesque view of the Texas State Capital down at the end. Yee-haw indeed.

SHOPS! #4
Shop BIG in the ginourmous Whole Foods on 5th

Yeah. It's that ginormous.

This 80,000 square foot monster-sized Bohemian mecca is just something you’ve gotta see in person. A gelato bar that seems to go on for miles, an ice skating rink on the roof, giant escalators with a little escalator just for your shopping cart!? All these things will make you feel RICH. But you can still get an apple or something, since you probably can’t afford their special, green, vegan, gluten-free, vegetarian, tofu-laden hippie “food”.

SHOPS! #3
Shop the windows of The Domain

breadwinner's imminent domain

I must admit that since this baby was erected after my stint at the UT was over, I have not been here. But, I feel I can assume  — due to the roster of fancy pants shops like Neimans and Ralph Lauren — that I would highly enjoy [window] shopping here. Maybe even some advanced price tag flipping! Or some pretend-to-be-high-society fitting room frolicking! Ooh yeah, that sounds very nice indeed. If you do head that way, and while you’re there you just happen to see me draped in Vera or ensconced in Kors, please don’t judge. Thanks in advance.

SHOPS! #2
Shop in burnt orange at the Co-Op on The Drag

Student Body

There’s more than a a smidge of bittersweet nostalgia pulling me toward this one. I had good times and bad in the space that’s been a lot of things textbook- or book-related in this huge space now called University Co-Op. I’ve spent too much on books, then spent too much on colorful pens! I’ve bought tee shirts upon tee shirts in order to sufficiently tout my burnt orange pride. I’ve been there a hundred times, and yet each time I return I feel like that same timid college student trying to act tough whenever I walk through the door. But enough about me. If you should venture inside, be sure to check out the awesomely large and loaded art area — if you’re into that. It’s unbranded (in case you’re not pro-Longhorn) and full of fun art supplies. At least I think it still is. I’d better go back and make sure it’s still there…I need some more pens.

Next!

SHOPS! #1
Shop hippie-style in the Renaissance Market

Renaissance market shown sans market

Set smack in the middle of UT Austin’s “The Drag” (aka Guadalupe street) is a mystical museum of hippie culture otherwise known as the Renaissance Market. Like a gypsy garage sale, this market magically appears seemingly out of thin air, and only during certain times of day and in certain seasons, beckoning the original boho types to wander from table to table, picking over the various wares of various hippies. You might find a beaded ankle bracelet one day, and a hand-blown piece of drug paraphernalia the next. The point is, every day represents a different opportunity for you to give some money to a hippie in exchange for some hand crafted, honest-to-goodness hippie-created stuff. It’s fantastic.

That wraps up my second edition of the non-SXSW things going on in Austin. Please to enjoy.

Shopping can be expensive. But following breadwinner on Twitter is free. Just sayin’.

Well we have come to the end. Day five is upon us.

Here’s the deal with what I’m doing: Every day this week I’ve been listing ten things that I think sound like can’t-miss events from a specific day at SXSWi. Unfortunately a lot of my selected events actually overlap in the schedule so I won’t be able to attend them all (unless my clone arrives before then), but I wanted to give them some love regardless. And that’s basically that. Yeah.

If you’d like to go back in time and check out the other days, here they are:

• DAY ONE
• DAY TWO
• DAY THREE
• DAY FOUR

And now, day five.

Drocolate’s 10 things for Tuesday, March 16th

Oh, and just like on the other days — despite being numbered, these are presented in no order of importance. I’m judging most of them based solely on a blurb on the SXSW website’s schedule maker, so it really wouldn’t be cool for me to start ranking them. Yet.

Ok, let’s do this.

1. Is Too Much Math Killing Marketing?

9:30am/Hilton C/Rand Schulman, Mike Teasdale, Joanna Burton

Breakthrough marketing used to come from creative genius, from big ideas, from empathy with customers. But now all the attention goes to rigorous testing and algorithmic approaches to customer insight. So is the science driving out creativity -- or are we focused on the wrong kind of maths?

Hell yes it is! And so is too much meth! And too many moths! Yeah!

This session sounds great because it really does seem like a lot of great ideas get shot down due to an overabundance of research and testing. As a creative, it gets constricting to hear things like “If 61% of the people poled didn’t like the color blue we can’t put any blue on anything.” It’s understandable to a point but eventually the overall idea gets watered down for the sake of just not wanting to mess up.

It’s a great topic idea and a great way to start the last day of the fest.

2. What We Learned Watching Kids with Homemade Flamethrowers

12:30pm/Hilton H/Tim Hwang, Sawyer Carter Jacobs

There lies an often overlooked universe of microcommunities flourishing in the nooks and crannies of the web. We have explored one of these: a vast, underground world of homemade flamethower videos. 1,500 clips later, we’ve returned with unexpected conclusions about the nature of community and culture online. Fantastically dangerous awesomeness guaranteed!

Wow. 1,500 clips? Let’s see if I can find a quick example of one…

Ah yes, here we are:

I say again, wow.

3. Balance is Bullshit

12:30pm/Austin Convention Center 8A/Stephanie Klein, Jennifer Lancaster

Blogging is a constant balancing act of creating new content, networking, marketing, monetizing and keeping up on the latest social media trends. It also leaves little room to have an offline social life. Popular bloggers will share their secrets on why balance is bullshit and how they really get it all done.

The topic of this session is all about how us bloggers manage to balance our blogging duties with a social life. For me, my social life sometimes gets shafted in favor of this blog you’re currently reading. For example, this week, while I’ve been writing this preview, I’ve had very little time to go out and hit up the discos.

Hopefully I’ll get some pointers at this session on how to find some sort of middle ground because the discos need me. They really do.

4. Remixing For The Masses

5:00pm/Austin Convention Center 18ABCD/Paul Lamere

In this panel we show how automatic music analysis and remix technology is making it easier for anyone to create their own music remixes, from simple alterations like adding more cowbell to your favorite song to complex manipulations that would be worthy of the next ‘Grey Album’.

Honestly my interest in this one is totally selfish.

You see I’ve got TONS of incredible ideas for mashup albums in my head, so I’m really hoping this panel empowers me to go out and start producing them. You want to hear a few of my ideas? Of course you do!

Here are a few of my finest (PLEASE don’t steal them):

• Celine Dio (Celine Dion + Dio: First single — “My Holy Diver Will Go On”)
• MetalliCarly Simon (Metallica + Carly Simon: First single — “You’re So Vainforgiven”)
• Huey Lee Lewis (Huey Lewis + Jerry Lee Lewis: First single — “Great Balls Of The Power Of Love”)

I can’t wait to make these a reality, and hopefully this session will get me on the right track.

5. How to defuse a bomb and other life lessons from the cast of MACGRUBER

11:00am/Austin Convention Cetner 16AB/Will Forte, Ryan Phillippe, Jorma Taccone, Kristen Wiig, John Solomon, Akiva Schaffer

Akiva Schaffer moderates a lively discussion with the director, writer and cast of Rogue’s action comedy MACGRUBER.

I don’t actually have a film badge, but, like Kick-Ass on day one, I had to list this. Just look at the roster of speakers up there. This thing is guaranteed hilarity.

Plus, Kristen Wiig is a fox.

6. Epic Lulz: Creating Funny Content on the Web

12:30pm/Austin Convention Center 9ABC/John Hargrave, Mark Malkoff, Jeff Rubin, Rob Cockerham, Rob Denbleyker

Comedy rules the Web. There’s no better way of creating viral buzz and generating traffic than through funny, well-written content. We’ll explain how to make your own content funnier, as well as how to “optimize” funny content for the Web so it gets noticed, linked, and passed along.

Speaking of guaranteed hilarity, there’s this excellent-sounding session about creating funny content for the web. Since ITE is all about the comedy and the jokes and the laughing (we hope) I’m going to really try to go to this one.

Hopefully after I attend you guys will be ROFLing and LOLing more in the future. Hopefully.

7. Airing Your Dirty Laundry Online -- Therapy or Revenge?

3:30pm/Courtyard Rio Grande A/Alix McAlpine

With sites popping up left and right which deride the people we’ve dated and hooked up with, are we crossing the line between talking things out to get it off our chest and putting things up for the general public to see in order to humiliate them?

This is a really interesting topic. How far is too far when it comes to shitting all over an ex. Where’s the line? Hopefully there will be people there that have drastically differing opinions so you have the room split into two sides — the people who think public embarrassment is awesome and warranted and the people who think it’s low class.

And then, at the end, the two sides will make out, then break up, then tweet about the whole thing.

It’s going to be sexy.

In all seriousness though, it sounds like a really interesting topic. Go and check it out.

8. Slashing Through Red-Tape to Revolutionize Corporate Communication

3:50pm/Hilton D/Paula Berg

After four years of blood, sweat and tears, sleepless nights, blunders and triumphs, Southwest Airline’s social media efforts have emerged as a light-house for the Company’s communication. Find out how they knocked traditional PR and Marketing strategy on its ass to revolutionize the company’s voice.

A social media success story? That sounds lovely. Sign me up.

I’d be willing to bet Kevin Smith WILL NOT be at this panel though. Just guessing.

9. The State of Music Blogs In 2010

5:00pm/Austin Convention Center 12AB/Tessa Horehled, Nicole Poulos, Nathan Wright, Jesse Ervin, Greg Swan

Just how important are music blogs to the industry today, is that prominence growing or fading, and how will new technologies and strategies impact the marketing mix in the coming year? Join prominent music bloggers, record label and PR firm executives to discuss the state of the industry and what’s around the corner.

I love music blogs so I’m looking forward to this one. Unlike sarcastic humor websites based on the economy, music blogs have become big business, and this panel is going to talk about where that big business is headed.

It should be great stuff.

10. Brilliant Second Acts You Must Steal Tricks From

5:00pm/Courtyard Rio Grande B/Jaime Woo, Mark Rabo

Few expect a lifelong job anymore and, in the creative industry, reinvention can be key to career longevity. This presentation curates jaw-dropping second acts of trailblazers who have matched or exceeded the success of their career first acts and presents the common predictors to steal for your own use.

The idea that “it’s not how you start but how you finish” will be on full display here. I’m looking forward to hearing about some other people’s awesome second acts so that I can steal one of them and make it my own in a few years.

YES!

--

THAT’S IT! Thanks to everyone who has checked out this preview. I hope you gathered some information from it that you put to good use next week at SXSWi. I’ll see you all there!

Oh, and before I sign off I want to thank:

• Ed Hunsinger
• Nichelle Stephens
• Amanda Koster

and

• SugarTits over at Red Dirt Kings for letting me borrow her laptop to take down to SXSW. You’re a life saver, ST!

LET’S MAKE THIS THE GREATEST AND BESTESTEST SXSW EVER! YES!

And just in case you’re looking for the previous days of this preview, here you go:

• DAY ONE
• DAY TWO
• DAY THREE
• DAY FOUR

YEAH!

The economy sucks. We all know this.

And even I have to admit that sometimes bitching about it gets a little old.

So with that in mind, I started this new feature here at ITE. It’s called “Distractions” and it’s designed to help take your mind off of our current economic shitstorm — if only for a few minutes.

DISTRACTION #19: The Legend

“LEAFS!” “PANCAKES!” “SEAMSTRESSES!”

This video reminds me of the classic Unforgivable videos, only it’s got kids instead of goofy grad students. It’s funny stuff. Plus, it’s just violent enough to make you slightly uncomfortable.

Check it out and pass it on. Or The Legend will probably come after you.

"LEAFS!"

--

Previous distractions:

• The weird kid at the end of Back to the Future Part III
• Selleck Waterfall Sandwich
• Nic Cage as Everyone
• Sketchy Santas
• Boozecats
• An awkward video of a very horny Meredith Vieira
• SINGING BABIES
• The Tron Legacy Trailer
• Fancy Fast Food
• There, I Fixed It.
• Master East West
• The Wheelchair Scene from Mac and Me
• Dow Jones feat. Common
• This is Photobomb
• Creating Rem Lezar
• Sexy People
• The Super Broker Shuffle
  
• Mark Gormley and The Uncharted Zone

Spread the Word:

These days it seems like every time you check the news there is a story about a new despicable, money-vacuuming, upper-tier douchebag. Some are scamming people out of billions while some are just assholes doing asshole-ish things. It can all be a bit overwhelming.

With that in mind, I have decided to create some shithead trading cards. A set of the worst of the worst. Please print them off and use them as a reference whenever you get confused as to which common thief did what to whom when. Collect them all and trade with your friends!

This one has it all — money, politics, gambling, stupid people and poorly distributed corporate bonuses. So strap in and get ready to meet…

Sue Lowden AKA Sue Lowdown

Sue Lowden is a businesswoman. She is all about conducting business the right way, no matter what. In fact, she’s so passionate about her business knowledge and morals that she is currently running for the United States Senate in the state of Nevada based on the campaign slogan, “fighting for your job is my job.”

She sounds pretty awesome, right?

Well she’s not. She sucks.

Let me explain why.

Last year was a crap year for pretty much everyone in America and Mrs. Lowden’s business, the Pioneer Hotel & Gambling Hall, was no exception. Over the course of the year the company had to cut its workforce by 25% (106 total jobs) and shut down the company match on the remaining employees’ 401k plans. The latter change was going to save the company around $67,000 a year, which is a sizable savings.

Unfortunately…

…Mrs. Lowden’s husband somehow managed to collect a bonus in 2009 of $200,000. This bonus increased his and and his wife’s combined salary total to almost a million bucks.

Yikes.

So let’s do some math here.

106 employees times an average of (and I’m making this up) $35,000 a year is about $3.7 million. Add to that another $67,000 from the murdered 401k match program and we’re talking about a total cost savings of roughly $3.8 million for the Pioneer Hotel & Gambling Hall. Then subtract $200,000 from that and multiply it by a couple of douchebags (that’s the Lowdens, just in case this is getting confusing… math is tough), then divide the whole thing by a really, really fucking stupid political move and you’ve got the end result of OH MY GOD SUE LOWDOWN IS A SHITHEAD!

Her company is reverse Robin Hooding people. They’re stealing from the poor to give to the rich. $200,000 is, using the savings figures provided by the company, enough money to keep the existing employees’ 401k match program going for almost 3 full years. Or maybe instead of that they could have taken the $200k and used it to save a few of those 106 tossed jobs.

And the thing that I love the most…

…is that at the same time Sue Lowden is overseeing these irresponsible business moves she is also trying to run for the United States Senate in Nevada on a ticket of business expertise and job creation. As I said above her slogan is “fighting for your job is my job.”

I think that slogan may need to be edited to read “fighting for your job is my job, unless my husband needs his bonus.”

Now, before you all completely write this woman off, I should say that she did not actually receive a bonus last year. In fact, she hasn’t received any sort of pay increase since 1996. So she’s not all bad, right?

WRONG.

In my opinion that really makes the whole thing worse. It means she realized in advance just how bad it would look for her to collect a bonus in 2009, but did nothing to prevent her husband from getting his. It’s not like he’s some wild card CMO that you can’t openly bring up the topic of “slashing bonuses for your own political gains” with. He’s your fucking husband. Sack up and mention it to him.

And that whole mess is, in my opinion, what takes her from just being an idiot to being a crook.

And an idiot.

An idiot crook.

Yeah. I’m done.

Get your Sue Lowden shithead trading card now!

—

Complete the set:

• #13: Pankaj Joshi
• #12: Keith Bardwell
• #11: Carolyn Towns
• #10: Angelo Mozilo
• #9: Teresa Tambunting
• #8: Marcus Schrenker
• #7: The AIG 73
• #6: Samuel Israel III
• #5: Annette Yeomans
• #4: Bernie Madoff
• #3: John Thain
• #2: Nadya Suleman
• #1: R. Allen Stanford

Three days down. Two to go.

Here’s the deal with what I’m doing: Every day this week I’ll be listing ten things that I think sound like can’t-miss events from a specific day at SXSWi. Unfortunately a lot of my selected events actually overlap in the schedule so I won’t be able to attend them all (unless my clone arrives before then), but I wanted to give them some love regardless. And that’s basically that. Yeah.

If you’d like to go back in time and check out what I had to say about day one, go HERE. Go HERE for day two, and HERE for day three.

Okay, let’s talk about day four and all of the wonderful, magical things it holds.

Drocolate’s 10 things for Monday, March 15th

Oh, and just like on the other days — despite being numbered, these are presented in no order of importance. I’m judging most of them based solely on a blurb on the SXSW website’s schedule maker, so it really wouldn’t be cool for me to start ranking them. Yet.

Ok, let’s do this.

1. Gary Vaynerchuk Presentation

12:30pm/Austin Convention Center Ballroom D/Gary Vaynerchuk

HELL YES! PP! MONETIZE THAT SHIT! CRUSH IT! CLAP THAT UP CAUSE IT’S THE REAL SHIT! HUSTLE IT HUSTLE IT! J-E-T-S!

I’m extremely excited to see this dude speak.

And you should be to.

2. Freelance Isn’t Free: The Twisted Economics of Writing Today

12:30pm/Austin Convention Center 8A/Jeff Beckham

Nearly anyone can publish their work today for free and reach an audience somewhere online. But that great opportunity has made life harder than ever for freelance writers, who must convince people to pay them to publish their work to an audience. Has creative writing become a commodity? Is journalism now a vocation, an avocation, or both?

Money money money! It’s all about money. And the economy. And how hard us writers have it in this fancy, new high-tech world we live in.

All sarcasm aside, this session sounds really smart. Due to the proliferation of writers and the lowering of barriers in getting published, the job of writing freelance has become a hell of a lot harder. For every  experienced freelance writer that expects to be paid for their work, there are ten others that will do the same job for free. Some may look at that as being a good thing, but to all of the writers out there who don’t want to have to rock a day job to survive, the whole thing stinks.

So yeah.

Go to this session. Do it.

3. Customer Support in a 140 Character World

5:00pm/Hilton A/B/Jeremiah Owyang, Caroline McCarthy, Frank Eliason, Lois Townsend, Toby Richards

Gone are the days of traditional customer support. In a world of Twitter, Facebook, and customer complaint sites like GetSatisfaction, customers are now jumping online to vent and publicize their customer support issues. But does it work for everyone and can complex customer service issues really be resolved within a 140 word limit? This panel of experienced customer support experts, analysts and vendors, will discuss the good, the bad and the ugly when it comes to social media centric customer support. Recent snafus and success stories will be highlighted, along with a unique insider perspective of the internal business and operational requirements that companies must keep in mind when going online. This panel is sponsored by HP.

Twitter-based customer support is the future.

Right next door to every traditional call center, there will be a secondary area with a bank of computers preset to Twitter at all times. So for me, instead of calling and asking why “the cup holder on my computer is broken”, I’d simply tweet the question. And receive the following answer:

“@drocolate It’s not a cup holder. It’s a DVD drive. You fucking idiot.”

Or something similar to that.

It’s exciting stuff and it seems like no company has truly mastered it yet (not even HP, who is sponsoring the panel).

4. Don’t Get Sued! A Guide For Content Creators

9:30 AM/Austin Convention Center 18ABCD/Josh Sussman, Koethi Zan, Lucas Paglia, Robert Strent

Your content-based website used to fly under the radar. Now you’re on your way to becoming the next CollegeHumor.com. Make sure you’re ready for the big time. This presentation will cover critical “nuts and bolts” topics such as content ownership, licensing, rights and clearances and employment relationships.

This one, like the SXSW SARS session from day one, falls under the “really smart thing to attend” category. It may not be the sexiest thing in the world but talking law for an hour is a hell of a lot more awesome than getting sued.

And there really isn’t much else to say on that.

5. Systemic Development in Borderlands: 16,164,886 = 1

3:30PM/Austin Convention Center 6AB/Matthew Armstrong, Jimmy Sieben

How do we design, create, balance, and test 15 million unique weapons for Borderlands? This discussion focuses on just one of those weapons, following the in-game Gearbuilder system as it creates the weapon step by step, using this framework to explore both the design elements and the technical systems that make Borderlands possible.

I’m a little bit of a video game nerd (huge shock, I know), and I’m a big fan of Borderlands so when I saw this session on the schedule maker I got excited.

For those of you who don’t share in my nerdiness, let me briefly attempt to explain why this panel is awesome.

In the game Borderlands the objective is to kill people and collect loot (it’s a VERY original premise). The loot you pick up consists of money and guns. The awesome thing is that due to ingenious work by the game’s developer there are more than 16 million different guns in the game. This creates a never ending experience for the gamer as they continually try to find a better and better gun.

You guys still with me?

This panel has two of the guys that worked on all of this, so, to me, that’s exciting.

And who knows, maybe you guys are looking forward to it to.

6. Why Gen Y Wants to Work ‘With’ You, Not ‘For’ You

3:30pm/Austin Convention Center 10AB/Sydney Owen, Ryan Paugh, Nisha Chittal, Elysa Rice, Ben Smithee

Put aside the negative stereotypes of entitled, rebellious 20-somethings and take a minute to dig deeper and see what makes us tick. At almost 80 million strong, the Gen Y workforce is shaping the cubicle nation and the way brands are forced to engage consumers. It’s more than a desire to wear t-shirts and jeans to work; it’s a new mindset. As we digital natives migrate into a workplace full of Boomers and Gen Xers, worlds collide. Truly learn the concept of ”with” vs. ”for” straight from the minds of 5 diverse and successful Gen Yers!

I’m a Gen-Yer. And as a Gen-Yer I feel like I should attend this one and pay close attention. I think this for two major reasons:

1. The entire thing seems to be directed at people that are slightly older and richer than me. So hopefully after they all have their minds blown by the panel I’ll be able to wander over and flaunt my Gen-Yness to pick up some random freelance work. Yes, it’s shameless. No, I don’t care.

2. The group presenting this one is solid and has a Dallas connection in Elysa Rice. So I have to represent for big D. And yes, I immediately regret referring to Dallas as Big D.

Check this one out. You will not regret.

7. Becoming a Real-Time Video Blogger in 2010

11:00am/Austin Convention Center 12AB/Wayne Sutton

Video blogging isn’t new but the technology has changed. More videos are being uploaded and watched daily online, increasing the chance that your video may be lost in the real-time web. We’ll discuss new technologies to use video to tell your story, capture an audience and build online communities.

By the end of this year I fully expect to stop writing and just start speaking into a camera. I’m going to stop blogging and start vlogging. And you guys will be with me the entire time. In meetings at my job or when I’m out on dates or when I’m sleeping or when I’m picking up my dog’s droppings (FYI: “droppings” is British for shit), you guys will be there. It will be so awesome.

And we will all have this session to thank.

Of course I’m taking it to a ridiculous extreme up there, but I really do want to start throwing more video content into the mix here at ITE, so I think this session is going to be rad.

8. Millionaire or Artist? How About Both?

12:30pm/Hilton C/Amrita Chandra, Hugh Macleod, John T. Unger, Mary Anne Davis

How do some artists make six figure incomes via social media at a time when traditional industries are tanking? Why is now the best time to quit your job and dream big? Learn how to get collectors enthused about telling your story, increase online sales and market art as a social object.

The appeal of this one is pretty obvious. This whole topic is like catnip for SXSWers. The idea of getting paid MILLIONS to create something is… just… intoxicating.

Yeah…

Oh, and no, Regis won’t be there. I apologize if you got excited.

9. Nina Hartley: Porn Star, Sex Educator, Social Networker

5:00pm/Hilton H/Kyra Reed, Marjorie Kase, Nina Hartley

With a career spanning over 25 years, Adult film star Nina Hartley has seen it all -- from the explosion of VHS to the advent of internet porn. In this session, Nina and her social media brain trust, MarKyr Media’s Marjorie Kase and Kyra Reed, will be discussing how the web has been both a blessing and a curse for industry players and how that’s now changing thanks to social networking technology.

If that title up there isn’t enough of a hook, then I don’t know what else I can tell you. This panel mixes social media, porn, VHS tapes, the Internet, a “social media brain trust” and porn into one streamlined conversation.

And yes, finding that totally wholesome-looking image of Nina was slightly challenging.

10. Gowalla Presents: The Tiki Room with Diplo

9:00pm/The Belmont

Check in with Gowalla at the Belmont and journey across the Pacific to the amazing Tiki Room. Fill the night with remarkable people, tropical kitsch and the stunning sound of Diplo. This will be your best chance at landing a legendary Gowalla t-shirt so bring a few spare greenbacks and help us defeat cancer with Livestrong!

DIPLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

And that’s all there is to say. I’ll see ALL OF YOU there.

--

And that is it for day four.

There’s only one day left so stop in tomorrow for the thrilling conclusion to this entire probably-way-too-much-information preview series.

Like my good friend drocolate, I am a SXSW virgin! But unlike drocolate, I don’t have the time, inclination, Red Bull or raw talent necessary to write a zillion posts about a zillion different panels at SXSW. And even if I did, I’d probably agree wholeheartedly with what he recommends anyway. And what would be the point of that?

This got me thinking… what the hell do I have to offer here? Why are they paying me? (They’re not.) While I am psyched-as-hell about SXSW, I’ve got no original panel/convo reviews. I like parties! But, I’ve got no way to organize the huge number of parties that I know nothing about yet into something useful. I do however, have the experience of having lived in Austin for four years during my college timez. I also like food, shopping and other things. Therefore, I will post about Austin, for those of you heading down there who plan on coming up for air every once-in-a-while to prevent yourselves from falling deep, deep into SXSW geekdom. Or to buy more condoms. Whatever.

I know a lot of people before me have created lists like these. We might even have a good amount of crossover when it comes to recommendations. We’ll probably disagree too. But I’m willing to bet none of those guys have my particular brand of, let’s say, commentary. So with that, here’s my lot. For your convenience, I’ve divided my lot into easy-to-find categories — EATS!, SHOPPING!, and SIGHTS! — in three separate posts for those of you who didn’t take your Adderall today. Enjoy, and if you’ve got more or better opinions to add, please do so in the Comments section below! Hook ‘em!

First up…

EATS!

I have a true, passionate zeal and obsession with food. Restaurants in particular, are very close to my heart. I love to try new places, but I especially like to return to my favorite spots again and again to enjoy a meal I know I can count on to be amazing. That said, here are my do not miss recommendations for Austin. Some are cheap eatz, and some are not. Budget your time and monies accordingly.

EATS! #5
Eat BBQ at The Salt Lick

THE best BBQ in Texas hands down.

“It’s like I could spend my whole life debating it over and over again, weighing the pros and cons and in the end I still wouldn’t have any proof so I just… I just don’t debate it anymore. It’s absurd.” — Donnie Darko

That pretty much sums up my feeling about The Great Texas BBQ Debate. There’s the folks who are in The County Line camp, those who firmly plant their boots in the dirt at Stubb’s, and then there’s Rudy’s, IronWorks…I could go on and on. The point is this: Just like age-old debates on whether there’s a heaven or not, nobody can tell you how to feel about your BBQ. Everyone is entitled to their belief. I personally believe that all other BBQ joints should bow down to the one and only god of smoke: The Salt Lick in Driftwood, TX. It’s different than any other BBQ I’ve ever eaten. And it’s all in the sauce. Trust me, you’ve just got to taste it. In fact, if you’ve got the time and you ain’t no vegetarian, I suggest you try a bunch of those places and then decide for yourself what you like best.

EATS! #4
Eat homegrown at Eastside Cafe

This home is where my heart is.

When people ask me about my absolute favorite restaurant in Austin, this is the place I send them to. Now I ain’t no hippie, but you’ve gotta start believin’ in all that organic crap when you taste the food these folks grow themselves and serve in their restaurant. Which is totally cute and quaint, by the way. It’s so Austiny to have a little garden, a little store and a little restaurant in a little, old house. Things to try when — notice I did not say IF — you go there:

• The Blueberry Blintzes. Best blintzes my Bubby didn’t make.
• The Mushroom Crepes. O. M. Fungal. G.
• Their Homemade Salad Dressings, specifically the creamy feta. Pick me up a bottle in the store when you’re there.
• The Cheese Grits. Your 6th street hangover never had it so good.

EATS! #3
Eat brunch…or dinner…or dessert at Chez Zee

Lit up like Christmas, all year round.

Not sure what Chez Zee means, if it’s like “House of Z” or “Zee House” or whatever. There’s nothing very “French” about this place, but it’s a guaranteed winner of a place to take someone special. Or someone not so special. Or just yourself. Just go. Chez Zee has won best dessert in Austin multiple times, and on a recent visit I discovered the sheer power of its brunch offerings. If you’re around for dinner, I recommend ending the meal with their Flourless Chocolate Torte. You won’t be sorry.

EATS! #2
Eat late at Kerbey Lane Cafe

Two words: Ginger. Bread.

I have a bit of a love-hate thing with Kerbey Lane. I cannot say that their food is always great, that it’s always worth the wait, or that I’ve always felt they properly cleaned the 24-hour joint. But, that’s what you get when you reach for that greasy spoon, right? With that in mind, let’s take a walk down [Memory] Kerbey Lane… There were the times I worked on class projects until the wee hours in the morning, only to finish and drive to the location on The Drag, realizing I was starving for their Gingerbread Pancakes. Theirs are the best. There were the times my parents came into town and I wanted to show them the “real” Austin, so I often took them to the original on Kerbey Lane itself. And there were the times I was the designated driver when some really “illegally medicated” friends just really wanted Kerbey Queso. If you know what I mean. It’s a good Lane. Take a walk down it sometime.

EATS! #1
Eat ice cream at Amy’s

Shown sans sauce, sadly

I’m a big big fan of ice cream in general. Just thinking about ice cream makes me happy. Now, that being said, not all ice cream shops are created equal. In Dallas, there’s a Cold Stone versus Marble Slab debate that I’d rather not weigh in on at this moment. And don’t even get me started on the current Fro-Yo Wars going on in Uptown. But give me the option to go to ANY ice cream place on the PLANET EARTH and I will choose Amy’s. There’s something so awesome about walking into Amy’s and looking up to find that day’s creative flavors written in chalk (and decorated with little asterisks when they’re boozey). Then, with the thoughtful addition of “crushins”, you are able to create something truly unique. There are a number of locations including the Arboretum, South Congress (which we’ll get to later) and 5th Street. Any Amy’s will do, as long as your creation is covered in a generous amount of their hot fudge. That fudge is the best fudge topping in the world. And I’d put money on THAT. I mean, I honestly would eat what I consider to be most vile thing in existence — the evil weed known to many as cilantro — if it were covered in this fudge. BAM.

Honorable Mention #1
Drink a Mexican Martini at Trudy’s

Gimme Gimme Gimme!

So it’s not food, but Trudy’s happens to shake up my favorite alcoholic beverage ever. The Mexican Martini, for those of you unaware of its existence, is a margarita on the rocks that tastes amazing and is served by the shaker-full with a salt-rimmed martini glass by its side so that it equals like 5 drinks. That’s the reason behind the limit of two Mexican Martinis that the ever-responsible Trudy’s puts on their patrons. Well, just one of these tasties does it for little me. I cannot really vouch for the food served there, as I’ve had everywhere between good and so-so experiences, but I can highly recommend  their stuffed avocado. Delish.

Honorable Mention #2
Have a sub at Thundercloud

Pictured: larger than actual size.

If you’ve ever lived in Austin, then odds are you can recall the jingle from the radio spots made for these guys. It’s an Austin chain of sub shops that are, in short, what Subway would be if Subway wasn’t crap. The bread is good, the toppings are fresh and tasty and maybe it’s just the nostalgia talking (or the tequila from Honorable Mention #1), but I have to have one of these sammies for the road every time I go. Even if I’ve just crammed in lunch, after brunch, which is how I usually roll (almost literally) out of Austin. Get yours with Thunder Sauce and mayo for the ultimate Thundercloud experience.

Okay so there you have it. What I’d eat if I was in Austin, Texas with just one day to live and probably about eight stomachs. Stay tuned for my next editions: SHOPPING! and SIGHTS!

Follow me on Twitter. Feel free to argue with me about BBQ if you want.

Day three is here!

Here’s the deal with what I’m doing: Every day this week I’ll be listing ten things that I think sound like can’t-miss events from a specific day at SXSWi. Unfortunately a lot of my selected events actually overlap in the schedule so I won’t be able to attend them all (unless my clone arrives before then), but I wanted to give them some love regardless. And that’s basically that.

If you’d like to check out what I had to say about day one, go HERE. And go HERE for day two.

Okay, let’s discuss SXSWi hump day.

Drocolate’s 10 things for Sunday March, 14th

Oh, and just like yesterday — despite being numbered, these are presented in no order of importance. I’m judging most of them based solely on a blurb on the SXSW website’s schedule maker, so it really wouldn’t be cool for me to start ranking them. Yet.

Ok, let’s do this.

1. Blah Blah Blah: Why Words Won’t Work

9:30am/Austin Convention Center Ballroom C/Dan Roam

Since the industrial revolution, we’ve judged human intelligence by our ability to talk. And just look at where that belief has gotten us: from politics to energy, we’re deeper in conceptual debt than ever. This session shows how combining our innate verbal and visual skills is the only way we’re going to solve the big problems ahead.

Before I get into this I have to admit something here.

Normally I hate things with titles like this. It’s just a blind hatred, but it’s strong.

My reasoning is that it seems like things with titles like “everything you know about Twitter is WRONG” and “social media is DEAD” (sorry, Colin) never manage to live up to the shock value their lead-in establishes. You know what I mean?

Wait… what am I talking about?

Wow. I’m doing a shit job promoting this panel. Let’s start over.

Go to this panel because it sounds truly interesting and, though I’ve never met him, I’m sure Dan Roam is a badass dude and a great speaker.

Yeah… that still sucked. I need to move on. Check this one out. Seriously.

2. Blamestorm: Who is Holding us Back?

11:00am/Austin Convention Center 9ABC/Brian Reich

Technology and the internet have the potential to change the world, to address serious issues. But its not happening. Why not? Because some people don’t understand and are holding us back. But who? This session is a blamestorm -- an opportunity to call out the people and organizations, the technology providers and communications folks, politicans and others who mis-use, mis-represent, or focus on the wrong things. I will facilitate, but everyone has to contribute.

Blaming people is pretty awesome. It really is. And that’s exactly why this session is going to be so much fun. From what I can tell from the description, it’s going to be a solid hour of pointing fingers and calling people out.

So now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to start my own little blamestorm to prepare.

First, I want to blame George W. Bush for our current economic situation. But if I’m going to blame him I also need to blame Barry Obama because the economy still isn’t “fixed” (whatever that means). But how can I solely blame our last two presidents?

Oh no, I need to blame deeper.

So to Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, John McCain, Al Gore, Rachael Ray, Oprah, Sarah Palin, Elmo, Will Smith, Will Smith’s son, Shuan White, Kobe Bryant, Jon Stewart, Osama Bin Laden, Jackie Chan, Tim, Eric, Cher, Popeye, anyone named Curt, my brother Karl, Billy Crystal, Optimus Prime, Dirk Diggler, that one congressmen who looks like he’s been painted orange… I think his name is something Boner (too soon?), Julia Roberts, Bjork, Mandy Moore, the entire cast of The Office (the American one), Dick Cheney, Jenna Jameson and Captain Morgan I say this:

“YOU ARE ALSO TO BLAME!”

Wow. I hope that list wasn’t as exhausting to read as it was to write. I got a little carried away.

Next.

3. Conversation with Michel Gondry

12:30pm/Austin Convention Center 18ABCD/Elvis Mitchell, Michel Gondry

I’m sure all of you reading this are familiar with Michel Gondry, but just in case you’re not, check this out:

Yeah. The guy is a total bad ass. Plus, he’s French, which is… awesome?

Go to this convo. Do it.

4. Kicking Recession Ass With A Killer Company Culture

12:30pm/Courtyard Brazos 2/3/Katie Laird, Kelsey Ruger

"Did you hear?!?! 14 people got laid off but we get free milkshakes on Fridays!!!"

Do your employees know how much you love them? We’ll talk on creative ways to keep morale up in a low economy, ideas on improving the lives and brains of your greatest assets and how to make it all work for your company’s bottom line (no matter how small).

This one could have simply been called “kicking recession ass” and I’d be interested, but then they added that bit about the “killer company culture” and it really put it over the top for me.

A lot of the other economy-based panels and convos at the fest seem to focus on people that have been laid off. This one is unique because it focuses on the people that haven’t been laid off. It’s all about what steps a company can take to make the work day NOT SUCK after a round of layoffs come through. It’s tricky stuff and I’m looking forward to hearing their thoughts.

5. Selling Subculture Without Selling Out

12:30pm/Hilton C/Richard Nash, Raymond Roker, Molly Crabapple, Jeff Newelt, Gala Darling

The online audience is increasingly fractured into passionate niches. Companies seek to infiltrate subcultures, and alt.tastemakers covet financial backing. But interactions between ”the underground” and ”The Man” have been marked with more distrust than respect. This panel will teach marketers have to work with subcultural tastemakers, and indie cool kids how to make money without selling out.

I heard a rumor that this panel was sponsored by Walmart. And Ford.

Yes, that’s a (horribly lame) joke, but it’s a good way to introduce this one. So much of citizen journalism (COME TO OUR CONVO!) relates to the idea that you are, for lack of a better word, legit. For example, if I were pulling down $5 milly a year from a trust fund I really wouldn’t be the most credible person in the world to be bitching about the economy, but since I’m not, I have a small shred of legit-ness (I hope).

Oh, and just in case you’re wondering, I only pull down $4 milly a year.

Times are hard.

6. From Trolls to Stars: The Commenter Ecosystem

3:30pm/Austin Convention Center 12AB/Dashiell Bennett, Anthony De Rosa, Jessica Valenti, Kate Miltner, Megan Frost

This panel will explore the fascinating and often bizarre world of commenter culture. From trolls on 4chan to Star Commenters on Gawker Media blogs, panelists will discuss:
- The nuances of commenter/blog symbiosis (including the
benefit/detriment to the business side of ad-supported blogs)
- The nature of commenter hierarchies
- The sociology of self-policing/group determination of community
standards of behavior
- The implications of the shift from handle-based identities to
real-world identities (Facebook Connect)

I love commenters. I love the good ones and the bad and the Boondock Saints fans and the Creed fans and all the rest.

So, with that said, it should come as no surprise that this panel jumped out at me. Beyond my initial love, I’m really interested in finding out more about some of the keywords in the description. Things like “commenter hierarchies” and “commenter/blog symbiosis.”

It all sounds so advanced. And for me, a person who has been told by an angry commenter to fuck their own face, advanced sounds like a step up.

7. Writing Web Content For A Living

12:30pm/Austin Convention Center Ballroom C/Erin Anderson, Tiffani Jones, Ian Alexander, Dan Maccarone

By now we all know that “content is king,” yet there’s still a dearth of knowledge about the mechanics and business of web writing. We’ll talk about how to write great copy, why web content is special, and how to make money doing it--whether you’re an independent, agency, or in-house type.

I’m writing web content right now and I’m not making any money.

Hopefully attending this panel can rectify that.

Yeah.

8. Funemployed -- Success Stories From the Laid Off Community

5:00pm/Courtyard Rio Grande B/Chris Hutchins, Matt Van Horn

This panel will explain how to deal with being laid off / unemployed, and showcase some unique ways that people have spent their time while unemployed. It will feature not only successful startups, but also touch on the various unique and exciting ways one can spend their newly found “free time”

I’m really excited about this one.

Where as the “kicking recession ass…” session highlighted earlier relates to the people who are left behind after a round of layoffs, this one is for those poor souls that got the axe. The description almost makes getting laid off not sound so bad.

Almost.

9. Why Self-Promotion Will Save the World

12:30pm/Hilton D/Peter Shankman

Self-Promoters are single-handedly saving the world. Without even trying, they’re becoming the “go-to” people when someone has a question. Twitter, Facebook, and whatever comes next is, for the first time, allowing the world to contact anyone, for anything, at any time. When other people know to go to you, and you give them the answer they need, you become beloved -- And then self-promotion turns into other people WANTING to promote you. The cycle starts again.

I love self promotion. So for a session to tell me that self promotion is a good thing is something really speaks to me.

Plus, I’m going to need this after that “Shameless self promotion without looking like an @#$%^&!” from the day before.

10. Everyone Can Be a “Professional” Photographer

5:00pm/Austin Convention Center 8A/Allen Murabayashi, Taylor Davidson

Everyone is a photographer: a camera in every cellphone, a powerful point-and-shoot in every pocket and bag, a digital SLR camera in every bag or home. With new platforms to create, distribute and sell to a wider range of clientele, everyone can be a *professional* photographer and sell photography in its various forms.

This is a great idea for a session. The idea to empower all of the people carrying a camera phone is awesome.

My hope is that after attending this, all the actual professional photogs will chuck their expensive equipment and start exclusively using their iPhone camera.

Yeah, maybe that’s not my hope… but the panel idea is still awesome.

Go to this panel. Do it.

--

YES! Day three is in the books.

We’re more than halfway done now so… yeah.

See you tomorrow!

Yeeeeehaaaaaaaw!

It’s Primary time, y’all! But who to vote for in the Texas Governor’s race??

Aw, Dick.

The cowboy hat lovin’, gun-slingin’, defiant, anti-government guy with hair that waves wistfully at you like a Miss Texas pageant hopeful?

Pic FAIL.

Or the lady who virtually all the local media (and even some hackers) are supposedly behind? Even though she voted “with Washington“?!! <GASP!>

Who?

Or this Joe Lieberman wannabe who’s practically guaranteeing Dick Fairy the win? (If you are, then you’re part of the problem, by the way.)

XOXO Farouk! Love, my hair

Or maybe the guy who puts his money where his mouth is in a crazy awesome kind of way? He’s the Hair King of My Heart I mean ultimate immigrant businessman candidate!

Poor Bill.

Perhaps you’ll vote for the ex-mayor/underdog/nice guy who taught Sunday school? I mean he called me on the phone just last night!!

Pic FAIL #2

Or this dude?? He’s a teacher without a picture! Just like in online dating: no pic, no poke! Read about him on his BLOG!

Hippie Rancher

Or perhaps you’d like to vote for this HORSE?!!!

Or any number of the available ranchers, teachers and preachers up for spots on the Texas secession train on its way to Hades!!!!

So, what’ll it be folks?

Why, I’m glad you asked! Here’s a neat little way to compare candidates and create a custom voting cheat sheet to take to your voting location. That’s where I got all those sweet pics up there.

But don’t worry too much about who to vote for, ’cause here at ITE we’re pretty sure that:

A) good ole Dick Fairy Perry will win, and that

B) he’ll probably end up running for Prez in 2012, and that

C) we’ll have plenty to bitch about on this site for years to come.

And there’s that point I was looking for. Happy Tuesday.

Follow breadwinner on Twitter. Y’know, if you wanna.

Let’s dig into day two!

Just as a bit of a refresher to those of you who are just now jumping in: Every day this week I’ll be listing ten things that I think sound like can’t-miss events from a specific day at SXSWi. Unfortunately a lot of my selected events actually overlap in the schedule (12:30 on this day is absurd) so I won’t be able to attend them all (unless my clone arrives before then), but I wanted to give them some love regardless. In some cases I even reached out to one of the people who put the panel or core conversation together to get some of their feedback on what to expect.

If you’d like to check out what I had to say about day one, go HERE.

YES! Let’s keep this going.

Drocolate’s 10 things for Saturday, March 13th

Oh, and just like yesterday — despite being numbered, these are presented in no order of importance. I’m judging most of them based solely on a blurb on the SXSW website’s schedule maker, so it really wouldn’t be cool for me to start ranking them. Yet.

Ok, let’s do it.

1. Citizen Journalism Brigade – Making Your Voice Matter

11:00am/Hilton J/Rondo Estrello, Colin Alsheimer

The future of Journalism lies in your hands. Citizen journalists from coast to coast are launching websites so THEY can write about their interests. But does it work? Can you make money? Where is it going and will it be around in a few years? These questions, and more will be answered during SXSW 2010!

This core conversation will be the single greatest and best thing at the entire SXSWi festival. It will be so informative and insightful and fun and tweetable and sexy. Just thinking about it gives me chills.

I’m kidding. Kind of. As any followers of this blog know by now, this is our big SXSW moment. Our very own rondostar and Colin from Five O’Clock Dallas will be leading an hour-long conversation about all things citizen journalism. Where the talk goes is totally up to you guys, so come armed with any questions you have about the topic.

And if you’re looking for some sort of a jumping-off point, just think about this seemingly simple question:

What is citizen journalism?

Ponder that and we’ll see you there.

2. Shameless Self Promotion Without Looking Like an @#$%^&!

12:30pm/Hilton E/Twanna Hines, Patrick O’keefe

Too often, individuals and businesses take advantage of someone else’s turf and excuse it as “shameless self promotion.” It’s not acceptable and it can lead to you being labeled a spammer or worse. In this panel, we’ll tell you how to promote yourself without turning others off.

Uhhhh… after my writeup of event #1 this is kind of awkward.

I don’t think I look like a “@#$%^&”, but I’ll probably be attending this core conversation just to make sure.

In all seriousness though, this one sounds awesome. We here at ITE constantly struggle with how much self promotion (or as we lovingly call it: whoring) is too much. Maybe this convo can help us find a sweet, sweet balance.

3. Crowdsourcing: The Ensemble’s Experience With the Netflix Prize

12:30pm/Austin Convention Center Ballroom A/Greg McAlpin

Over 5,100 teams of scientists and engineers worked for almost three years to find a solution to the $1,000,000 Netflix Prize. How did the top two teams meet the challenge? Why did so many teams fail? A member of the leading team shares the inside story on crowdsourcing technical challenges.

SCIENCE! NETFLIX! TECHNICAL STUFF! SOURCING!

If you don’t know anything about the Netflix prize program, then I really recommend you check this one out. And if you do know about it, I still recommend stopping by to hear how it all shook out. On the surface it may sound kind of stale, but there’s really something awesome about seeing science go from start to million-dollar finish.

Plus, Netflix is awesome.

4. RIP Jeff Goldblum: Truth vs. Web BS

5:20pm/Hilton K

Hoaxes, rumors, and misleading stories thrive in a real-time multi-sourced online environment. How do you suss out newsy signals from uninformed, promotional, or ill-intentioned noise? Learn the best ways to cast a critical eye on your media consumption and how to quickly recognize and share only the authentic.

So timely. It seems like every week I log onto Twitter and see that a new celebrity has died. I think that Justin Bieber kid has died 30 or 40 times now. This session is going to look at the celeb death hoax fad from the blogger’s perspective, which is rad because you really want to be sure before you launch www.imsofuckingsorryyoudiedjustinbieber.com.

This one should be fun. And, like Netflix, Jeff Goldblum is awesome. Brundlefly FTW!

5. Is WordPress Killing Web Design

3:30pm/Austin Convention Center Ballroom C/Brendan Dawes, Dan Mall, Dan Oliver, Jina Bolton, Shane Mielke

Is WordPress killing web design? Leading creatives from the world of web design debate whether CMS tools have made designers lazy, and created a new set of design conventions that designers feel obliged to follow.

I’m a big fan of Wordpress, but a lot of my love for it comes from the fact that I’m a writer with an extremely limited design background (I know how to clone stamp and magnetic lasso… and that’s about it). I think it’ll be interesting to hear the back and forth as Wordpress lovers (some of whom are bound to be more competent designers than me) and haters argue over what the content management system is doing to the overall world of design.

I’m assuming a fist fight will break out at some point, and honestly if that’s not worth an hour of your day I don’t know what is.

6. Celebrity, Microcelebrity, and the Future of Internet Fame

3:30pm/Hilton K/Alice Marwick

Today, anyone can build a persona and an audience using social media. Simultaneously, traditionally famous people are reaching out directly to fans, without managers or agents. Celebrity is something we do, not something we are. What’s prompted this change? What are its implications? And what’s the future of “internet fame”?

Last year I enjoyed some Internet fame in the world of rabid, Creed-loving, homophobic, super-Americans. Of course I was more infamous than famous but the entire experience still left a lasting impression on me. The things we write or tweet or upload can be accessed by so many these days that people can really become famous for anything, which is equal parts awesome and pathetic.

Yeah, this one will be interesting.

7. Citizen Journalism and the Little NGO that Could.

12:30pm/Hilton J/Amanda Koster, Amanda Rose

See what happens when citizen journalists (you) team up with International NGOs (non-government organizations), create and share media projects with their online and offline communities. We will present projects created by travelers from our India and Vietnam trips, what they did with their content and what happened next.

Another citizen journalism convo? Really? Hell yeah, really! Citizen Journalism is a huge topic so I’m glad there’s more than one session pertaining to it. The more the merrier!

To better explain this particular CJ core conversation, I reached out to its organizer, Amanda Koster.

4 Questions with Amanda Koster

1. Why should I attend your core conversation at SXSW?

“One example. Compare the velocity of media and societies response of Katrina to Haiti.

Listen to THIS.

Let’s see how far can we take this.”

2. What makes you the right person to be conducting this convo?

“I’m an outsider. I’m not from the tech arena. When I presented at Gnomedex in 2008, I did not have an iPhone, Twitter account nor did Facebook make much sense to me. I thought FB was innovative online dating. Since then I have been able to harness storytelling, social media and passion all for social change. If I can do that, anyone can.

The passion to tell a story is the jet fuel behind citizen journalism. And it has been passion, not assignments, that got me here right now. I’ve been working as a photojournalist, writer, author for about 15 years though it has been my personal projects, again not assignments, that propelled my career and life beyond where I ever thought it could go.

Citizen journalism is more powerful than it could have ever been imagined and this is growing. The pendulum is swinging far to the left, and is still swinging.

Because I believe in these things makes me the perfect person (and Amanda Rose of Twestival) to lead this conversation.”

3. What advice would you give to aspiring citizen journalists (other than attending your convo at SXSW, of course)?

“Your personal stories and perspectives are more valuable than ever. Make GOOD content and get it out to a relevant audience. And, there’s more to it than that:

Have a plan. SalaamGarage builds relationships/projects/plans with NGOs far in advance. We do not advocate what I call ‘drive-by-shootings’  (just showing up, shooting photos, then jet).

Be authentic. We want intimacy. I think people are tired of the slick, heavily produced story. We see through it. With the wildfire of social media and intentionally constructed social communities, impersonal, glossy stories delivered by a generic, safe personality is rapidly losing ground.

Be relevant. Not worth telling a story about t-shirts to a dog trainer. Even if it’s the most compelling t-shirt story ever. Be relevant and focused.

Know your audience. Tell them a story 1) you care about and 2) they want to hear.

Care. There are ‘hot’ stories to tell, but you outta care about it. I travel all over the world all the time with SalaamGarage and as a freelance journalist. There are stories that resonate with me, and others that just don’t. The advantage of being a citizen journalist is that you get to choose your story, versus being assigned something that is not dear to you.

DO SOMETHING with it. Share. Everyone is sitting on a novel, but if a tree falls in the woods… I’ll leave it at that.

I am very passionate about this and have a lot more (not big on advice) ideas around this topic, though, this is the topic of our conversation so come join the conversation.”

4. Where is your dream location to take a citizen journalism project? Antarctica? Atlantis? Detroit? Where?

“The White House.”

–

Thanks, Amanda! Your answer to that third question is inspiring stuff. Everyone go and check this one out. Do it!

8. Does My Sh*t-Talking Really Help Your Brand?

5:00pm/Hilton D/Ivan Askwith, Amber Case, Emily Yellin, Michael Monello, Sam Ford

We’ve heard that ”all press is good press.” But during SXSW 2009, several panels provoked heated audience debates over a new variation: is social marketing successful if people talk about it? Controversial campaigns such as Whopper Sacrifice warrant a discussion about what really makes social media successful… and what doesn’t.

I know this may come as a shock to some of you, but i really enjoy talking shit. So, with that in mind, this panel really pops out to me. The idea that the days of “all press is good press” could be coming to an end is really intriguing to me, both as a consumer and as a shit-talker.

9. Playing with Place: Location-Based Games and Services

12:30pm/Austin Convention Center 6AB/Jack Becker, Brooke Thompson, Cathering Herdlick, Seth Priebatsch, Zach Saul

Location based games and services are finally ready to go mainstream. This panel of professionals explores how to creatively craft the experiences and business models for different types of places like backyards, cities, towns, suburbs, exurbs, hiking trails, parks, and deserts.

Hold on one second.

I need to check in from my desk in my bedroom in my apartment in my complex in my city in my state. I’m super close to getting the “stalking myself” badge.

All joking aside, location-based stuff (for lack of a better word) is sweeping the nation. Foursquare and Gowalla come to mind first but it’s so much more than that. I recommend checking out this panel, or at least checking into it from foursquare. I wanna be the mayor!

10. How To Make A Living As A Blogger

11:00am/Austin Convention Center 19B/Brian Fairbanks, Colleen Kane

We keep hearing that bloggers, with their successful followings, web ads, and endless heaps of publicity, still don’t make much more than a paper delivery route. Then there’s the other 99%, with budding blogs, trying to go from $50 a month to at least something in the four-figures/month. This panel will help push people in the right direction.

Do I really need to explain the appeal of this one? This is the Holy Grail of bloggerdom. The ability to live off of your blog, off of this thing you’ve created and love, is the dream. Hopefully this session will help show us all how to make that dream a reality.

Yes.

–

There it is. Day two is a wrap. Tune in tomorrow for my unfortunately-interviewless day three coverage.

I’m a SXSW rookie. I’ll admit it. And because of this I’m extra excited to get down to Austin to start meeting people, learning things, drinking heavily and kissing strangers (in that order). I’ve been so thrilled in fact that I’ve been suffering from the excited insomnia a little kid may have on Christmas eve. Only for a month. It’s been rough.

So, to better help cope with my sleepless nights I’ve decided to write. And to be more specific, I’ve decided to write a five-part series profiling 50 things I can’t wait to see and/or do once my feet hit the ground at SXSWi 2010.

Each day for the next five I’ll be listing ten things that I think sound like can’t-miss events. Unfortunately a lot of them actually overlap in the schedule so I won’t be able to attend them all (unless my clone arrives before then), but I wanted to give them some love regardless. In some cases I even reached out to one of the people who put the panel or core conversation together to get some of their feedback on what to expect.

Alright, let’s kick this thing off.

Drocolate’s 10 things for Friday, March 12th

Oh, and one other thing — despite being numbered, these are presented in no order of importance. I’m judging most of them based solely on a blurb on the SXSW website’s schedule maker, so it really wouldn’t be cool for me to start ranking them. Yet.

Ok, here we go.

1. SXSW SARS

2:00pm/Austin Convention Center 7/Jay Goldman

“Each year at SXSW, you hear about “SXSW SARS” or “SXSW Scurvy.” Days packed with panels, movies, and concerts are exhausting and wear down your immune system. Learn some ways in which you can prepare for, and stay clear of getting sick at SXSW.”

This core conversation seems like a solid way to start the fest. I definitely hate being sick and to be sick during SXSW would be even worse. Assuming Mr. Goldman’s tips aren’t things like “do tons of blow” and “drink the blood of infidels” this should be a really valuable way to spend an hour. And if you think this panel idea seems weird just think about all the hands you’re going to be shaking during your time in Austin. Now think about all the hands those hands have been shaking. Now think about where all of those hands have been. You know at least one of them has been wiping a runny nose filled with SARSy, bird fluishness.

Yeah. Gross. Attendance at this one just might save your life.

Oh, and just for the record, my personal method to staying healthy when you’re treating your body like shit is to ingest lots of Vitamin C. Or as I’ve called it in the past — Swine Away.

2. Networking at a Multi-Day Conference

5:00pm/Hilton E

“One of the main reasons that people attend a multi-day conference is for the “networking opportunities”. However, once there they fail to make meaningful connections that will lead to ongoing relationship and future opportunities. This presentation delivers usable tips and actionable advice that will help people get them most out of their interactions with other attendees.”

So, thanks to the SARS convo mentioned above, I’ve cleared myself of SXSW herpes and am now ready to meet some people. But before I do that it might be a good idea to learn some tips and tricks on how best to network the shit out of the festival.

That’s where this core conversation comes in. It’s got a basic premise, but that’s a really good thing. Now that you have your business cards printed all you need to do is learn when and where to exchange them.

Did I say business cards? Uh oh.

Next.

3. How To Not Be A Douchebag At SXSW

5:00pm/Courtyard Rio Grande B/Ed Hunsinger, Violet Blue

“Aimed at both first-time and long-time attendees to SXSW Interactive, this biting and humorous, yet useful panel takes a look at the common actions and behaviors to avoid if you don’t want to be described as “doing it wrong.”

This one is right up my alley. So much so, that I reached out to one of this core conversation’s organizers, Ed Hunsinger, to learn more about it.

5 Questions with Ed Hunsinger

1. Why should I attend your core conversation at SXSW?

“You should attend our core conversation for laughs and learning. You’ll laugh at just how ridiculous some of the douchebags are out there, and you’ll learn how to avoid making douchebag mistakes.”

2. What makes you the right person to be conducting this convo?

“Being a geek in the tech world, I’ve watched as the non-techs creeped in, bringing douchebag behavior with them. Last year at SXSW I noticed that a lot of this sort of behavior was concentrated (and too often accepted) in Austin for that week. I’m hoping to educate a few people to help prevent this behavior from getting worse.”

3. What are a couple quick examples of behaviors a SXSW douchebag may exhibit?

“Handing out a business card before even learning your name. Interrupting people in a conversation in order to meet someone. Tweeting every other sentence of a panel or talk. Not respecting people’s personal space, contact info, and preferences.”

4. What should I do if I encounter a douchebag at SXSW? Do I tell them or just let them go? Can I help? Are there procedures for undouchebagifying yourself?

“Please tell them! I’m hoping that with this talk the awareness of douchebag behavior will increase and that it will become easier for people to say “you’re acting like a douchebag” to people. Just because you are acting like a douchebag doesn’t instantly make you one, but every bit of douchebag behavior is one step closer to becoming an all around douchebag, and nobody wants that. Of course, some people are already beyond saving, and sometimes it’s best to just walk away from the situation.”

5. What name do you most associate with the word douchebag? For me (and I apologize in advance if you have friends and/or family with these names) it’s a tie between Tristan and Hunter.

“Hmm, I’m not sure if there are any names I associate more with douchebags (well there are a few specific names, but we won’t get into that). It’s more the behavior of people that peg them rather than their name. I think job titles are better indicator of potential douchebaggery. Titles like “Social Media Guru” and “New Media Expert” are big red flags.”

--

Thanks, Ed! I’m looking forward to your convo. And I totally agree about the “New Media Expert” tag. Ugh.

4. Cooking for Geeks: Science, Hacks, & Good Food

5:00pm/Austin Convention Center 9ABC/Jeff Potter

“Cooking for Geeks covers a new way of looking at how to cook for the hacker, maker, and creative person. By bringing science and experimentation into the kitchen, this panel will show how to create better food and new experiences at the dinner table.”

I like science and I like good food and I’m kind of a geek so this panel sounds pretty rad to me. It has the potential to be even radder if I somehow get the opportunity to eat some of that good food out of a beaker. I love beakers.

Don’t judge me.

Let’s move on.

5. Kick-Ass

7:00pm/Paramount

I don’t actually have a film badge but this needs to be on my list regardless. This movie looks extremely strong. Just watch that trailer. And then go HERE and watch the red band version.

Nic Cage may be able to afford another island soon after this one.

6. ProBlogger: Secrets for Blogging Your Way to a Six-Figure Income

5:00pm/Austin Convention Center Day Stage/Darren Rowse

I don’t think I need to say much. It’s ProBlogger reading to us about how to become a hundred thousandaire by doing what I’m doing right now. Yeah, I’m in (or at least one of my clones is… why does EVERYTHING have to be at the same effing time!).

7. The Broke Diaries: Using Blogs And Twitter To Live Cheaply

2:00pm/Hilton A/B/Nichelle Stephens, Hayes Davis, Larry Chiang, Emily Farris, Faye Penn

“The word, “recessionista” was just coined last year, but there are cheapskates who have been writing and sharing creative tips about how to live frugally for years. The panel will discuss how they scope out the best deals and tips to share with their readers. Panels will talk about the thrill of getting a good deal and/or just living better with less.”

Wow. We here at ITE would love to believe that we have helped some of you guys live a little more cheaply over the past 380ish days, so this panel just fits. I got in touch with panel organizer Nichelle Stephens to learn more.

5 Questions with Nichelle Stephens

1. Why should I attend your panel at SXSW?

“The Broke Diaries will be a revival session for people who are fun loving cheapskates. The panelists, attendees and I will talk about where online you can find cheap or free things that make you happy, save you money, give you something to brag about.”

2. What makes you the right person to be leading this panel?

“Well, anyone who knows how to stretch a dollar while living in an expensive city like New York could lead this panel. I have an accounting degree, so I know the best way to have money is to either spend less or earn more. I thought of the panel because I noticed that some of my friends were shattered by the economy last year. I wanted people to know it is OK to be broke.”

3. What have you found to be the most useful resources for finding deals and/or other money-saving tips?

“Recently, I find a lot of deals on Twitter. CheapTweet is a great aggregator for deals. I also find things on FreeCycle, CraigsList, Groupon, Woot. Locally,there are free events on FreeNYC and Brokelyn.”

4. What are a couple quick pieces of advice that you would give to someone who is thinking about starting a deals/finance/economy-based blog?

“For years, I have been sharing tips about free stuff. Be known as the person who knows about cool cheap stuff. Seek out fellow thrifty people. Don’t be afraid to be “servicey”. Have fun!”

5. As someone who has been before, is it possible to get through the entire SXSW Interactive festival without spending any money?

“Last year, the first thing I did to save me money is to go to CVS and load up on granola bars and other snacks. The food at the convention center is too expensive and the lines can be long. Go to the free BBQs, but you have to get there early. The same deal with all the parties is get there early. Go with a friend to double up on drinks. For lodging, you can couchsurf.”

--

Thanks, Nichelle! Not only did you do a great job promoting your panel but you also made me feel good about (some of) the work I’ve done here at ITE! Yeah!

8. Using Social Media to Score…a Job (Obviously)

5:00pm/Courtyard Brazos 2/3/Sarah White, Dave Peck

“You use social media for our friends, dating and… finding a kicka** job you love? If you aren’t using sites like twitter, linkedin, facebook and more for anything other than a bootycall or posting pic’s -- you aren’t even REALLY trying! Come get a job the fun way!”

This one, much like the previous one, is directly tied to what we are often talking bitching about here at ITE. This one will be a must-attend for two groups of people: 1.) People who do not currently have jobs and 2.) people who have actually used LinkedIn for a bootycall.

And I want to meet that latter group. And shake their horny hands.

9. Eight Ways to Deal with Bastards

5:00pm/Hilton A/B/Bryan Mason, Jason Shellen, Lori McLeese, Karen Walrond

“If 99% of your customers are fantastic, you’re still going to deal with bastards. And even the best of us make bad hiring decisions. But there are time-honored approaches to defusing crises, deflecting attacks, and denuding d-bags. This panel of seasoned pros will discuss and advise.”

YES! I really need this one because I have dealt with some total bastards in my time here at ITE. There’s that rondostar asshole and that bitch, breadwinner. And don’t even get me started on SurlyZ.

Yeah.

In all seriousness though, this one sounds like a great panel that pretty much anyone who has ever had a job can relate to. Definitely check it out if you can.

10. Awkward Family Photos

5:30pm/Austin Convention Center Day Stage/Douglas Chernack, Michael Bender

Awkward Family Photos

Yeah it’s the same Awkward Family Photos that you think it is. Just look at that photo. Do I really need to give any more incentive to check this one out?

I do? Ok, here:

Awkward Family Photos

I rest my case.

--

Wow. That is a jam-packed day. And it’s only the first day. And it’s pretty much just a half day. I need to catch my breath after just writing about it.

Check back tomorrow for my thoughts on day two (and for more horrendous stock photography).

YEAH!

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, and if you haven’t then you really haven’t been paying much attention, but we, as in ITE, are going to the South by Southwest Interactive Festival down in Austin March 12-16th. We’re kind of obsessed with it, honestly. And we’ve got a ton of cool shit planned for it, including giveaways, video logs, and lots more. But up first inside our bag of SXSW-obsessed tricks is…. a BUNNY!

No, it’s not a bunny. Jeez. It’s a party!

In fact, it’s the Official Unofficial SXSW Sendoff Pre-party Presented by Team CJ!

The Official Unofficial Party Graphic

The Details:

Tuesday, 3/9 at 7:00 pm. Location: CoHabitat Dallas.

Sponsors include: CoHabitat Dallas, Greenz and Pinkberry!

(Pssst: fan them on Facebook, follow them on Twitter, and frequent them often!!)

There will be free beer and a DJ spinning on his spin machine.

Now as an avid ITE reader, I’m certain you probably most likely maybe fall into one of the following three categories:

1) I’m already going to SXSW and I totally need to rest up. I also know all about you ITE folks and I don’t even like you very much.

Hmmm. Well nobody’s going to force you to attend our bunny I mean party. But if you want to meet and greet some other folks who are also going to be headed down to Austin for the nerd fest, this is your opportunity to do so! Meet some of these peeps in person before you meet them down in A-town.

2) I obviously heart ITE but I’m not even going to SXSW! Sad!

If you love us you’ll come meet us. Also, this is an opportunity for folks who are not going down to Austin for the craziness to get a little taste of what it would be like. Full of crazy social media “experts”, bloggers, regular folks, as well as people who like free stuff and partying. You can ask us about our core conversation (which is in fact the actual reason we’re going to SXSW), or not. You can certainly just come out and enjoy the FREE.

3) I don’t know what the hell SXSW is, and I don’t care!

That’s cool guy. Unless you don’t like parties you’ll probably still want to come to this one. The aforementioned free shit and peeps to talk to should still be fun for you even without any knowledge of SXSW. For many of us in Team CJ, this is our first SXSW anyways. We’re SXSW virgins just like you.

NOTE #1:

Perhaps I’ve forgotten those of you who don’t live close enough to attend this Dallas area partay. That’s cool. We’ll post some pics from the night and it’ll feel like you were right there with us.

NOTE #2:

Creed fans: this festive party is not an invitation to come find and attempt to hurt drocolate. He will have protection during the event.

On the previous two episodes of ITE’s Globetrotting with SurlyZ*…

Without taking the time to look at the title of this post, we wonder what today’s episode has in store for us.

Cuddly AND delicious! Grilled kangaroo steak.

Cuisine

As I wrapped up my first trip to the Southern Hemisphere, I felt like I didn’t eat as much local cuisine as I should have. But that’s my fault for watching 10 episodes of The Simpsons each day. I had pizza, venison spring rolls, subpar/unidentifiable Chinese food, pizza again and sushi. There are a lot of sushi places in Melbourne. In fact, the city has what experts call a “fuckload” of sushi shops.

But before you go thinking Aussies are a bunch of sushi-eating, latte-sipping, Harvard-educated, hemp-wearing, gay-married abortionists who rarely, if ever, suck the eyeballs out of baby seals, there is a (am I using this word correctly?) “fuckload” of McDonald’s and Subway restaurants too. So the next time the Crocodile Hunter makes you feel like you should be more outdoorsy, tell him that all those Big Macs made him too slow to dodge a stingray’s tail. And tell him he’s dead.

Steak sandwiches are a staple in Melbourne. But I forgot to get one. I did, however, remember to eat a whole kangaroo alive. Or, rather, a modest portion of grilled kangaroo. It was a bit gamy, but tasted mostly cow-ish. I’m pretty sure it was pouch meat because it was garnished with newborn joeys.

Maybe I'm all turned around on this vegemite stuff.

What else? I guess you want to know about vegemite. Didn’t touch it. Wouldn’t even eat in the same room as that shit. According to my research, vegemite was invented as a practical joke on a tourists visiting down under. The Brits didn’t catch on because they have retarded taste buds. But the rest of us would rather eat human afterbirth. … I may be exaggerating. I didn’t try vegemite. Though I can’t argue with their marketing strategy.

Slang

Aussie slang is endearing and adorable. Brekky = breakfast. Bizzo = business. Dickless Tracy = policewoman. For real. Thus, I decided to buy a book of slang so I wouldn’t slow down any conversations I joined while I was in Melbourne.

Here are some other cute words and phrases I heard:
Bang
Crack a fat
Flog the log
Getting off at Redfern
Give the ferret a run
Knock off
Root
Sink the sausage

Upon looking them up, I discovered they mean things like sexual intercourse, erection, masturbation and coitus interruptus. So these horndog Australians ain’t so cute after all.

More surprising is the amount of slang they have for vomit, which actually becomes less surprising when you remember vegemite. A few examples:
Chunder
Drive the porcelain bus
Perk
Technicolour yawn
The big spit
Throw a map

Let’s use some of the slang we’ve learned so far:

She gave a technicolour yawn after she sobered up and saw that it was Dustin Diamond who had given the ferret a run inside her, but she thanked the lord he had gotten off at Redfern and flogged the log to completion, even though the thought of that caused her to drive the porcelain bus until she couldn’t perk another morsel of chunder.

That’s all I learned during my time in Australia. My apologies to ITE and ITE’s financial backers.

*Other potential titles for my travel blog posts:
Exploring the Non-Ancient Cities of Earth
Our Planet and Beyond, Minus “and Beyond”
Around the World in 80 Credit Cards
Roadtripping Balls with SurlyZ
Where in the World Is SurlyZ… ’s Pants?