Time to riot in San Francisco like you just saw a bad YouTube video:

Bacon Restaurant Shut Down For Smelling Like Bacon

A San Francisco bacon restaurant, fittingly called “Bacon Bacon,” was forced to shut its door on Friday after neighbors complained that the “porcine aroma” wafting from the establishment was too strong…

Send to Kindle

My sympathies to the staffer who had to get it from the crocodile.

Send to Kindle

The short story “Wikihistory“, by Desmond Warzel.

It begins:
_______________

International Association of Time Travelers: Members’ Forum
Subforum: Europe – Twentieth Century – Second World War
Page 263

11/15/2104
At 14:52:28, FreedomFighter69 wrote:
Reporting my first temporal excursion since joining IATT: have just returned from 1936 Berlin, having taken the place of one of Leni Riefenstahl’s cameramen and assassinated Adolf Hitler during the opening of the Olympic Games. Let a free world rejoice!

At 14:57:44, SilverFox316 wrote:
Back from 1936 Berlin; incapacitated FreedomFighter69 before he could pull his little stunt. Freedomfighter69, as you are a new member, please read IATT Bulletin 1147 regarding the killing of Hitler before your next excursion. Failure to do so may result in your expulsion per Bylaw 223.

At 18:06:59, BigChill wrote:
Take it easy on the kid, SilverFox316; everybody kills Hitler on their first trip. I did. It always gets fixed within a few minutes, what’s the harm?
_______________

click here to continue reading…

Send to Kindle

Looks like Obama just lost another liberal humorist. First Jon Stewart, now this:

Obama Denies Role in Government

Things are just not looking good for our President right now.

[Think you have a link that's IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Send to Kindle

• The White House cleaning staff found an old box of love letters between Obama and someone known as Saruman.
• A cryptic communication between the White House and Kermit Gosnell has been intercepted.  It read: We must hasten the work. Molloch demands more sacrifice.

Send to Kindle

Apparently the other 39% have no cell phone reception in their mother’s basement.

Send to Kindle

For all the cruelty and hardship of our world, we are not mere prisoners of fate. Our actions matter, and can bend history in the direction of justice.

BARACK OBAMA, Nobel Lecture, Dec. 10, 2009

“and Eric Holder will do his best to straighten it out.”

Send to Kindle

• Apparently I’m not allowed to compost those half dozen hobos that used to be shackled in my crawlspace.
• My hellions keep running the AC with the windows open.
• The by-products of my genetic experiments have to be properly disposed of as biohazardous wastes.  Apparently consumption at a neighborhood BBQ isn’t good enough.
• They are concerned that I fertilize my garden with my expired prescriptions.
• My controlled refuse burning sometimes includes my neighbors’ cats.
• My hepatitis C mutated, anthropomorphized and was reportedly seen stalking the local children.
• My controlled refuse burning sometimes includes my expired ‘prescriptions.’  (It makes for a really interesting smore party).
• My hepatitis was later seen meeting a yeast infection at a seedy motel with a crate of petri dishes. Offspring are feared. 
• They frown upon my practice of weaving my own cloth from discarded asbestos.
• They don’t approve of the lead bodypaint we use to protect ourselves from Obama’s mind control transmissions.
• They just need someone to crucify like when the Romans come to town.

[Cross posted at Nuking Politics]

Send to Kindle

Image: The Mirror

Some people appear to getting their panties in a wad over the pope laying hands on some guy and praying. They’re saying he performed an exorcism on the guy right there in line at St. Peter’s Square.

Here’s the video:

[Source: YouTube]

Now, it looks to me like he did exactly what I said in the opening sentence: he laid hands on a fellow and offered a prayer. Heck, I’ve seen Baptists do that, so I’m certainly not surprised when the Bishop of Rome does it.

But, some folks are going all gaga over it, calling it an exorcism. And, heck, maybe it was.

If it was, and Pope Francis can do that (and I’m not doubting it), I wonder if maybe he’ll do it again sometime.

I suggest his next visit to Washington, DC, would be a great time. So, in case the head of the Roman Catholic Church is reading this, here’s what to do:

• From Reagan National, have the driver take the George Washington Parkway to I-395 North.
• Take the US-1 exit, merging onto US-1/14th Street.
• Left on Madison.
• Right on 15th NW.
• Left onto E Street/Pennsylvania Avenue (you’ll need to show ID, it’s restricted).
• Take the first right.
• Ask for Barack.

I wish you much success!

Send to Kindle

Russia has developed a new “killer robot“. President Obama…

Send to Kindle

[Source: NewsBusted - YouTube]

Send to Kindle

• Michelle has been checked into the Betty Ford Clinic to receive treatment for the abuse of high fructose corn syrup.
• Actor Ben Gazzara has petitioned the court for a restraining order against Joe Biden, complaining that a seemingly confused Mr. Biden keeps calling him and harassing him for information relating to a terrorist attack.

Send to Kindle

[direct link]

Please don’t threaten Crowder with death.

BTW, still on parental leave because of the new little guy who sleeps all the time except when it is dark out. I’ll get back to my regular blogging… eventually.

Send to Kindle

No word on whether Ambassador Stevens will receive one posthumously.

Send to Kindle

Click here to see if you made the cut.

If you did, you should probably email Keln about becoming a guest blogger there.

If you didn’t, Anonymiss has got another straight line for you to practice on.

Keep trying. No one likes a quitter.

Send to Kindle

OK, so if I’m understanding Carney and Obama and all the president’s men correctly, the only part of the federal government over which Obama has any insight or control is Seal Team Six?

Send to Kindle

[ref 1,ref 2]

Send to Kindle

Big deal. We’ve all paid $800 billion for the original Obamacare bill.

Send to Kindle

UN Special Operations Unit Wears Camouflage Helmets, Shoots At People

[Think you have a link that's IMAO-worthy? Send it to harvolson@gmail.com. If I use your link, you will receive High Praise! (assuming you remember to put your name in the email)]

Send to Kindle

• E-mails between the White House and North Korea have surfaced implicating the President in fostering an agreement in which nuclear secrets are traded for the secret to Kim Jong Un’s recipe for Super Happy Puppy Platter.
• Confusing the DVD Joe was watching with a live feed from Iraq, Obama mistakenly ordered a drone strike on Bakkalakkadakka street, which still happened to be located in a warehouse in Hollywood, CA.  97 puppets were injured, many of them women, children and old people.  Hamas officials claim it was a wedding.

Send to Kindle

• They found out I attended my 6 year old daughter’s tea party.
• It turns out the tax benefit for purchasing a green vehicle has nothing to do with its color.
• I can’t claim the half dozen hobos I have shackled in my crawlspace as dependents.
• I voluntarily gave to charity and not the government.
• The lean-to in the backyard where I store the kids doesn’t count as a tax shelter.
• Blade 1, 2 and 3 are in my Netflix queue.
• Paying myself $20,000/year to homeschool my own kids cannot be written off as an education expense.
• Purchasing copious copies of Twilight novels to repurpose them as toilet paper can’t be written off as a recycling project.
• I’m not alleviated from the tax liability just because I’m selling those organs on the internet.
• Nor am I alleviated from the tax liability just because I’m paid for those organs under the table in white slaves.
• They expect me to pay FICA for each of my stolen identities.
• When I gift something to one of my other personalities, that isn’t considered a legally binding transaction for tax purposes.
• Not all of the pharmaceutical products I buy or sell count as medical expenses.
• I’ve been promoting homeschooling your hellions.
• They found out I was guest blogging here.

[Cross posted at Nuking Politics]

Send to Kindle

One of the most durable and destructive legacies of discrimination is the way we’ve internalized a sense of limitation; how so many in our community have come to expect so little from the world and from themselves.

BARACK OBAMA, speech, Jul. 17, 2009

“But don’t worry… just keep voting Democrat and everything will be ok.”

Send to Kindle

I was shocked — Shocked! — to learn that the chairman of the Democrat party in Georgia, an attorney named Mike Belon, is being disciplined by the State Bar.

Now, it’s only a Review Board Reprimand, which means no fine or suspension. I’m not sure if it even comes with a “don’t do that again.” What did he do? Well, according to WAOK radio:

The client had claimed Berlon failed to file paperwork as requested and paid an investigator without permission.

Berlon tells The Associated Press he takes responsibility for the miscommunication with the client on legal strategy.

So, a Democrat is supposed to be working for someone, but has no idea what the client wants, and it ends up costing the client more?

Heck, he’s presidential material. If you consider Obama presidential.

Send to Kindle