New Year's Resolutions...
Just hearing those three words strung together tends to make many of us cringe!
And for good reason. The truth is that making out a long list of all the things you are going to change in the coming year usually results in the opposite effect from your original, lofty intentions.
But why is that?
The most common barrier between you and your goals is the habit of remaining attached to UN-SUPPORTIVE HABITS.
Too often, we fall into the trap of thinking that if we simply modify our behavior, we'll improve our results, and we fail to work on the true source of our results, our habits. We make commitments we can't keep, because we've not installed the preliminary habits necessary to follow-through.
Specifically, the habit of staying off-course is the one you need to attack mercilessly.
Whenever you get off-course (and it happens to EVERYONE), you need to acknowledge it and then develop the habit of getting back on-course right away.
My mentor Jim Rohn said that there two parts to influence. First, influence is powerful, and second, influence is subtle. He noted that most people would not let someone simply PUSH them off-course, but we might let someone or something NUDGE us off-course and not even realize it's happening.
Implement these three simple steps to avoid this most common barrier to accomplishing your goals.
1) Be Alert! - Developing awareness is the first step to staying on track with your goals. When faced with daily decisions, regardless of their size, assess whether the action you are about to take will move you in the direction of your 2012 goals and resolutions.
Ask yourself this question "If I take this action, will it move me toward my goal?" If the answer is no, don't mentally beat yourself up, just follow up with this question - "What could (or should) I do instead?" And to demonstrate true resolve, follow up with this bonus question - "What MUST I do instead?"
And then of course, do it!
2) Be in it for the duration. - As human beings, we tend to over-estimate what we can accomplish in short period of time, while seriously under-estimating all that we can accomplish in a longer period of time. Continuous action is the key, and then analyzing the results of those actions to determine if they are having the desired effect. (Meaning forward progress).
Be willing to do whatever it takes for as long as it takes. Think about teaching the baby to walk. You're committed and willing to help for as long as it takes, and then one day, success! If it doesn't happen in the desired time frame, you don't give up on the goal, you just extend your imagined completion date.
3) Be kind to yourself. - Too often when we get off track with our goals and resolutions, we throw up our hands and say "Aw, what's the use?" And usually, way too soon. Don't let this be you. Instead, you be the one that says, "Well, that didn't work, what CAN I do that WILL work FOR ME?", and then come at it from a different angle.
Be assured that if you keep looking for ways that work for you, you'll eventually find one that does. I'm not intending to sugar-coat it, because it's not easy. In life, most things of value require us to pay a price. The price could be time, money, persistence, or sacrifice. Determine that you are willing to pay it.
Continue developing the habit of recognizing when you're off-course, and commit to getting back on-course as quickly as possible, and before you know it you'll be keeping your commitments and accomplishing your goals with ease!
For these and other super-effective methods for accomplishing your 2012 goals, send an email to jshoop@coachshoop.com to request more bonus content and ideas.
Until next time, be creative!
J. Shoop
www.coachshoop.com
J. Shoop, is a professional coach, speaker, and author of "The Other Secret". His latest work is featured in the new book by Greg S. Reid, titled "Off The Coast of Zanzibar".
His mission in life is to inspire, educate, and help others to become consciously aware of their unlimited potential for greatness. For more info on his services and to connect with him, send an email to jshoop@jshoop.com.
(This post is inspired by my friend Jason Freeman, who is an awesome professional speaker and an all-around great guy.)
Your subconscious mind is an amazingly powerful thing.
As we go through our day, we are continually bombarded with images, messages, and sounds, of which very few are deliberately designed to support or encourage us.
Unless we've developed strategies to filter out the "bad" stuff, or replace it with "good" stuff, most of what we experience through our physical senses is usually affecting us less-than positively.
So what can we do about it?
Well, a couple of weeks ago, my friend JT turned me on to The Subliminator.
It's this really cool (free) app that lets you listen to affirmations while simultaneously listening to your itunes, and then you can dial down the audio level of the affirmations so that you can't detect them behind the music. It comes pre-loaded with a variety of affirmations in both male and female voices, and you can even record them in your own voice.
And while we are both having a blast experimenting with how we can apply this new tool in our daily lives, we both started thinking up creative ways that we could use The Subliminator on our kids! (Evil geniuses, right?)
What an awesome way to instill positive self-talk and encouragement into their unsuspecting little minds, without them even knowing it!
Now JT made up some really cute little affirmations for his kids, like "I am really good at math", and "I am calm and relaxed while taking tests", which he says is having the desired affect, but I decided to take a slightly different route with my daughter...
As a matter of fact, she just finished washing my car, taking out the trash, doing her homework, feeding the animals, unloading the dishwasher, and cleaning her room! And all with a smile on her face and love in her heart!
Okay, I'm kidding. So I didn't actually brainwash my daughter, but it really got me thinking about who IS brainwashing her? I mean, do I really want Sponge Bob and iCarly to be the primary influences and teachers in my daughter's life?
But the truth is, our kids ARE being strongly influenced by what they see, hear, and feel in their worlds. And it's up to us to be sure that we are countering all the stuff they take in that doesn't support them, while working to shape and guide them in ways that will encourage and empower them.
And that got me thinking about my own responsibilities as a teacher. Not just in my role as a father, but also as a businessman, a friend, and as a leader. It reminded me of a quote that I heard from Loral Langemeier that said, "If I don't teach you, who will?"
She wasn't coming from a space of arrogance, but rather she was describing her privilege and responsibility she has to share what's she's learned for the benefit of others.
And isn't that the real goal? To pass along our wisdom and knowledge for the greater good?
Each of us shows up on the planet with unique gifts, experiences, and knowledge that the rest of the world needs to hear. You are a mentor and a role model. Please do your part.
If you don't teach it, who will?
Until next time, be creative!
J. Shoop
www.coachshoop.com
J. Shoop, is a professional coach, speaker, and author of "The Other Secret". His latest work is featured in the new book by Greg S. Reid, titled "Off The Coast of Zanzibar".
His mission in life is to inspire, educate, and help others to become consciously aware of their unlimited potential for greatness. For more info on his services and to connect with him, send an email to jshoop@jshoop.com.
Recently I was re-reading "The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale, and he referred to a list of ten "rules", created by Thomas Jefferson, designed to help a person live a fulfilling and balanced life.
Surprisingly enough, having spent over two decades studying the field of personal development, I'm kinda embarrassed to say that I'd never heard of this list. (Or maybe I had heard of them, but had somehow forgotten them over time.)
That phenomenon is always interesting to me... How we can hear or read something at a certain stage of our lives, and then at some later date, often years later, we are reminded to return to it and find a whole new meaning within the content.
Does that ever happen to you?
And then I realized, hey...maybe you've never heard of them either?
Even though these rules were written nearly two centuries ago, the wisdom contained within is equally as fitting and applicable today as it was back then.
Here they are, with a little added commentary:
1) Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today.
(It's kinda peculiar that I just recently wrote a blog post for Tom Tognoli's Monday Morning Mojo, with this exact title. Check it out!)
2) Never trouble another for what you can do yourself.
(When we think of personal accountability, how easy is it to make excuses or assume someone else will complete what needs to be done? If it's in your power to do, step up and do it!)
3) Never spend your money before you have it.
(This is one that I've struggled with before. In a world that is bent on instant gratification, it's a discipline that you must adopt if you intend to become financially free.)
4) Never buy what you do not want, because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.
(The only cure for the impulse buy is to contemplate what you'll need to sacrifice in exchange. Nothing of value in life is free. Is it worth the cost?)
5) Pride costs us more than hunger, thirst, and cold.
(How many times have you allowed your pride to get in the way of relationships, education, or success? Humility is a sign of strength, not weakness. Be humble.)
6) We never repent of having eaten too little.
(Of course the opposite is that we've often been sorry for indulging too much! Moderation in all things produces balance.)
7) Nothing is troublesome that we do willingly.
(When you approach your responsibilities and goals with an attitude of wonder and willingness, your troubles seem to fade away. Figure out ways to inject fun or interest in those things that you must do.)
8) How much pain have cost us the evils which have never happened.
(This one really hits home, because most things that we worry about exist only in our minds. At least, until we create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Choose to focus on possibility versus imagined obstacles.)
9) Take things always by their smooth handle.
(This idea speaks to the "course of least resistance". There often exists an easy solution to most problems, yet we tend to allow our arrogance to create unnecessary complexity. Look for an easy answer and you'll often find it!)
10) When angry, count to ten before you speak, when very angry, one-hundred.
(Few accurate decisions or actions can be accomplished from a state of anger. We are all wired with the ability to produce anger, but when we choose to pause...for as long as it takes...we will ultimately produce better results.)
Reviewing this list has inspired me to produce a list of ten rules of my own. Once I've developed them, they will appear in this blog. I'd like to encourage you to do the same, and create standards, values, and a framework of organized ideas that you can live by.
Your life will never be the same again.
Until next time, be creative!
J. Shoop
www.coachshoop.com
J. Shoop, is a professional coach, speaker, and author of "The Other Secret". His latest work is featured in the new book by Greg S. Reid, titled "Off The Coast of Zanzibar".
His mission in life is to inspire, educate, and help others to become consciously aware of their unlimited potential for greatness. For more info on his services and to connect with him, send an email to jshoop@jshoop.com.
Earlier this month, my good friend Tom Tognoli invited me to provide some “guest MOJO,” for his subscribers to Intero Real Estate's weekly dose of inspiration, Monday Morning MOJO!
Today I Will Make A Difference!
Every day we are faced with a multitude of choices.
In my opinion, one of the greatest freedoms human beings enjoy is the freedom to choose our thoughts.
We can choose to focus upon and think about what’s right in our world, or we can choose to focus on what’s not.
One of my favorite inspirational authors, Max Lucado, wrote a book over 15 years ago called “On The Anvil.” The excerpt below is from his book.
Today I will make a difference. I will begin by controlling my thoughts. A person is the product of his thoughts. I want to be happy and hopeful. Therefore, I will have thoughts that are happy and hopeful. I refuse to be victimized by my circumstances. I will not let petty inconveniences such as stoplights, long lines, and traffic jams be my masters. I will avoid negativism and gossip. Optimism will be my companion, and victory will be my hallmark. Today I will make a difference.
I will be grateful for the twenty-four hours that are before me. Time is a precious commodity. I refuse to allow what little time I have to be contaminated by self-pity, anxiety, or boredom. I will face this day with the joy of a child and the courage of a giant. I will drink each minute as though it is my last. When tomorrow comes, today will be gone forever. While it is here, I will use it for loving and giving.
Today I will make a difference.
I will not let past failures haunt me. Even though my life is scarred with mistakes, I refuse to rummage through my trash heap of failures. I will admit them. I will correct them. I will press on. Victoriously. No failure is fatal. It’s OK to stumble…I will get up. It’s OK to fail…I will rise again.
Today I will make a difference.
I will spend time with those I love. My spouse, my children, my family. A man can own the world but be poor for the lack of love. A man can own nothing and yet be wealthy in relationships. Today I will spend at least five minutes with the significant people in my world. Five quality minutes of talking or hugging or thanking or listening. Five undiluted minutes with my mate, children, and friends.
Today I will make a difference.
One of the many reasons that Intero Real Estate continues to be such a successful company and brand is because of their never-ending commitment to creating an environment of optimism and enthusiasm. While some of the real estate community is still asking “What happened?,” Intero is making things happen!
I’d like to encourage you to start each day reading aloud the words above. I assure you that you will notice an immediate impact in your attitude, and it will fortify you for the day ahead.
Until next time, be creative!
J. Shoop
www.coachshoop.com
J. Shoop, is a professional coach, speaker, and author of "The Other Secret". His latest work is featured in the new book by Greg S. Reid, titled "Off The Coast of Zanzibar".
His mission in life is to inspire, educate, and help others to become consciously aware of their unlimited potential for greatness. For more info on his services and to connect with him, send an email to jshoop@jshoop.com.
That quote is from my good friend Brian Crane, one of the founders of Intero Real Estate Services in the Bay Area.
You know how sometimes, when you're listening to someone speak, and then a word or sentence jumps out at you and slaps you in the face?
That's what happened when I heard Brian say these words.
Over the years, I've continued to make a consistent effort to be accountable for my actions, to set lofty goals, and to follow-through on my plans. And one of the many things that I've discovered in my lifetime is that goal achieving simply can not be done alone.
As hard as we might try, we (human beings) are just not capable of holding ourselves fully accountable.
We need other's help.
In Bob Proctor's book, "It's Not About The Money", he cites a study where they looked at person's likelihood of accomplishing their goals - based upon them just saying "Ill do it" - versus sharing their goal and their progress toward that goal with someone else.
That "someone else" is what I call the Accountability Partner.
The results were astounding...
The bottom line is that when you engage an Accountability Partner, you increase the likelihood of accomplishing your goal - remarkably up to a 95% chance of achievement!
Compare that to when we take the accountability role upon ourselves, at best, we've got a 50/50 shot of reaching the goal. I don't know about you, but I'm not too fond of those odds.
When we set goals, the primary objective should be to set ourselves up to win!
The best type of Accountability Partner is a coach or mentor. This is because they are intrinsically motivated to see you excel, and they also benefit from your growth. But a formal coaching arrangement is not entirely necessary. You can dramatically improve the quality and quantity of your results by seeking out a willing and capable Accountability Partner from within your sphere.
And selecting the right partner is a critical key to the accomplishment of your goals.
Here are a few questions and tips to help you to identify, select, and engage with your new Accountability Partner.
1) Who's getting the results that YOU desire? - Let's face it... In order for an accountability relationship to be massively effective, they are going to need to "speak your same language". They need to understand your industry, your challenges, and what it takes to be successful in your chosen field. Not only philosophies, but also a working knowledge of the day-to-day issues you will face as you work toward your goals.
2) Are their core values evident, even without having to ask them what they believe in? - You need to get good at detecting the core values that matter... Discipline, honesty, honor, a service-first mindset, and transparency. Someone that embodies all of the above is uncommon, but they certainly do exist, and are worth seeking out.
3) Are they working toward a big, hairy, audacious goal of their own? - If they are driven to accomplish their own seemingly-impossible goals, you can bet they wish that they had an Accountability Partner as awesome as you! Now is not the time to be shy, it's time to ENGAGE!
4) Are they likable? - I'm sure you've met your fair share of Type-A drivers that are less-than friendly, or that are motivated to succeed at all costs. These people are not for you. And you're not necessarily looking for total altruism either, although that may be commendable. You want your Accountability Partner to be kind, smart, achievement-driven, and easy to talk to. Since you're going to be connecting with them frequently, this cannot be understated.
5) Do they wear the same kind of underwear? - This part should seem pretty obvious. If you're a guy, seek out a guy. If you're a gal, seek out a gal. Remember what I said about "speaking the same language"? Your like-minded partner needs to be similarly packaged. And the easiest way to avoid the possibility of misunderstandings or impropriety is to never put yourself in that type of situation in the first place.
6) Do they have the strength to be genuinely honest with you? - This is different than "brutally" honest. Genuine honesty comes from a place of love. They need to care about you in a way that allows them to not let you make excuses for yourself. Your partner needs permission from you to tell you like it is, in the spirit of helping you to stretch yourself. This is the only way that you can become the person that will be required to ascend to the new heights that you are aspiring to reach.
7) Get it on the calendar. - If it's not on your calendar, it's simply too easy to let things slide. (Which is the polar opposite of accountability!) Pick a regularly scheduled day and time of the week or month, and stick to it. If you miss a meeting, get right back on the schedule the following week or month. That's the best and only way to get back on track.
I'd like to encourage you to consider these tips, and if you do not currently have an Accountability Partner, now is your time. Yesterday doesn't really matter all that much...
For more ideas on accountability, or for help in locating an Accountability Partner, send me an email at jshoop@coachshoop.com .
The time to begin working on your new goals is TODAY!
Until next time, be creative!
J. Shoop
www.coachshoop.com
J. Shoop, is a professional coach, speaker, and author of "The Other Secret". His mission in life is to inspire, educate, and help others to become consciously aware of their unlimited potential for greatness. For more info on his services and to connect with him, send an email to jshoop@jshoop.com.
I was recently studying a lesson from one of my many mentors, Bob Proctor, and he had posed two simple questions...
"Where are you?", and What time is it?"
And the only two truthful answers were, "Here" and "Now".
To drive home his point, he used an old-fashioned sand timer (you know, an hourglass) to illustrate the time that we have left on the planet.
The sand falling from the top represented the Future, and the sand in the bottom represents the Past. The point where the sand transitions from top to bottom is the Present, the "Now".
And although it can be quite difficult, the "Now" is where we need to direct our focus.
As I contemplated the sand in the top of the hourglass, I wondered, how much more time do I have left on this planet?
You see, one of my goals is to have my daughter take me to Disneyland on my 100th birthday (I'm currently 44 years young). I fully expect to accomplish that goal!
But the truth is, nobody really knows when their time is up. And most of us spend far too much time focusing on the Past, or wasting needless time and energy worrying about the Future.
The other day I got an email about an old high school buddy that was tragically killed in the line of duty.
I'm sure that if you'd have asked him that fateful morning about how much time he had left on the planet, he'd probably have said "at least another 50 years or so".
But sadly, it didn't work out that way.
All we truly have, is "Here", and "Now".
I'd like to encourage you to consider and examine what you're doing and where you're investing your time, in this very moment.
Are you working on something that matters to you? Are you looking for ways to contribute whatever capital you possess, whether it's financial, relational, or spiritual?
My sincere hope is that you live a long, happy, and healthy life.
And I fully expect to see you in Disneyland on June 8th, 2066!
Until next time, be creative!
J. Shoop
www.coachshoop.com
J. Shoop, is a professional coach, speaker, and author of "The Other Secret". His mission in life is to inspire, educate, and help others to become consciously aware of their unlimited potential for greatness. For more info on his services and to connect with him, send an email to jshoop@jshoop.com.
Chances are, it won't be you. That task will likely be left to those closest to you...your spouse, or family, or friends. And what do you suppose will be said about you?
I recently finished re-reading John Maxwell's "The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership", and in the chapter titled "The Law of Legacy", he posed this question; "What do you want people to say at your funeral?"
As I contemplated this thought, I began to reflect upon an unsettling experience from last October, when I was one of the first people to arrive on the scene of an accident between an SUV and a motorcycle. The details have been forever burned into my memory.
I was driving to a charity golf event in Northern California, and as I rounded a blind corner on a remote country road, I came upon a man frantically waving his arms in an attempt to slow me down. I pulled over, dialed 9-1-1, and simultaneously jumped out of my car to see how I could help.
The scene wasn't pretty.
The motorcyclist was face down in the middle of the road, and there was twisted metal and debris everywhere. The impact from the collision had caused the rider's helmet to come off, and his injuries were severe.
As I knelt down to try to revive him, I witnessed what I believed to be his last breath.
The 9-1-1 operator instructed me to turn him over and administer CPR. By this time, a couple more people had arrived and offered to help. As we gently turned him over onto his back, the hopelessness of the situation became very apparent.
Sadly, our efforts to revive him were futile, and as the paramedics showed up and took over, all that was left to do was to cover his lifeless body with one of those familiar yellow tarps.
As you can imagine, the events of this day clouded my thinking for quite some time. And several questions kept coming to my mind, almost haunting me. What was his name? How old was he? Did he have a family?
I'm not exactly sure why I wanted to know these things...Maybe I felt like if I knew more about him I might gain some insight into HOW he lived, and WHY I had been allowed to be present when he stopped living.
About a week later, I was able to locate his obituary in a local newspaper. It turns out that he was a husband and a father of three children. He had nine brothers and sisters, and eighteen nieces and nephews. The obituary spoke reverently of him, as a beloved son, brother, "ultra cool uncle", and co-worker. It also noted his love of nature and that he enjoyed hiking, biking, skiing, and snowboarding. And finally, it said that he would be remembered for his sense of humor, generosity, greatness of heart, and lightness of spirit.
A beautiful and heart-felt tribute.
But there were two other lines within the obituary struck me like a bolt of lightning. "He especially loved playing with his kids", and "He recently started working for a company closer to home so that he could be with his family, everyday".
I mean, isn't that what it's all about...the love of family? I am a husband, and the father of a young daughter. For the past several years, my career has included much travel, and I've spent quite a bit of time away from home.
As I continued to search for meaning in this event, I came to a sobering realization.
It's pretty unlikely that anyone ever gets the chance to write their own obituary or eulogy.
Life (or Death) usually doesn't seem to work out that way.
But everyone of us has the opportunity to LIVE in the way that we'd like our eulogy to read.
What would you like said about YOU?
I've decided that I'm going to write mine now. But more importantly, I'm getting busy living like the man that I want to be. I'm doing so in the hopes that it might make writing my obituary a bit easier for others when that time ultimately comes, and to provide a blueprint for how I wish to live my life.
"Today we say goodbye to a cherished friend. His family and his faith were very dear to him. In addition to being a patient, loving, and faithful husband and father, he was an amazingly effective author, mentor, speaker, and coach. He found joy in making others laugh, and had a way of being funny without trying to be funny. He had a unique gift and talent for positively influencing the lives of others, in a meaningful way.
His vision, passion, and confidence, combined with his likability, boyish-charm, and magnetism caused the right resources and people to be naturally drawn to him. He was always willing to provide help, counsel, and trust-based insights to any who asked, and he approached all of his business and personal dealings with a commitment to finding principle-centered solutions that propelled his clients and friends to new heights of understanding, personal growth, success, and prosperity.
Surely his impact will live on throughout those he touched, and his teachings on success, optimism, happiness, and persistence helped others to experience positive breakthroughs in all areas of their lives.
He took actions that were motivated by doing what was right. He had a warm and friendly smile for everyone, and he spent his days in inspired action, fulfilling the work that God intended for him to do. His charity continues to do great things across the country, and he created hope and encouragement for those in need.
Most importantly, his motives were pure. Subsequently, he was highly sought-after by people of remarkable influence. His outer successes were evident and plentiful, but his inner successes were exponentially magnificent by comparison.
He is loved, and will be missed by many - especially his wife and daughter, for whom he dedicated his work and his life."
This is who I aim to be, and this is how I hope to be remembered.
We only get one chance at this thing-called-life. What can you do today to start living from YOUR purpose?
Might I suggest taking a shot at writing your own obituary or eulogy?
My sincere hope is that you live a long, happy, healthy, and successful life.
Until next time, be creative!
J. Shoop
www.coachshoop.com
J. Shoop, is a personal coach and mentor, and the author of "The Other Secret". His mission in life is to inspire, educate, and help others to become consciously aware of their unlimited potential for greatness. For more info on his services and to connect with him, send an email to jshoop@jshoop.com.
Why is it that we always wait too long to ask for help?
Is it just a "guy" thing?
I visited San Diego recently, and booked my room at the Hyatt Regency / Mission Bay. The Mission Bay region of San Diego is gorgeous, but let's just say, the traffic design of the area leaves something to be desired. You've got Mission Bay Boulevard, East Mission Bay, West Mission Bay, and it's all inter-connected by this crazy, looping, spaghetti-lke nightmare of a road system.
And on my way to the hotel, I got lost. So what did I do? First, like most guys, I kept driving round and round aimlessly on these loops, looking for any sign of the hotel, and reasoning with myself, "Hey, I'm resourceful, I can figure this out." Then I decided to pull out my trusty Iphone with its killer G.P.S. map app, and punched in my destination to get directions.
And boy, did I ever get some directions...just not the directions I needed. Come to find out, Google Maps is maybe not the best resource for accurate directions in the Mission Bay area. Now I certainly could have stopped and asked for help, but I wanted to prove that I could do it for myself.
This situation really got me thinking, "Where else is this showing up in my life? In what other areas do I show an unwillingness to ask for help?"
Where else might it show up for you?
To get some answers, we have to take a closer look at how we are wired, or programmed. Human beings are built to solve problems. It's in our DNA. Can you imagine how challenging life would be if we weren't designed this way?
Think about the problems we face as an infant. The three primary ones are; hunger, fatigue, and hygiene. (aka poopy diapers!) And how does an infant get these problems solved? Through a combination of inborn instinct (genetic programming), trial and error, and verbal communication (repetition and conditioning).
At some stage, the infant figures out that by communicating its needs - by crying out - a solution is ultimately delivered. But as we get older, not only are we taught that we should begin solving our own problems, we are frequently told over and over to "Go figure it out for yourself".
Somewhere along the line, we take those suggestions and programming to heart - and often, too far. We develop the habit of thinking that it is solely up to us to solve EVERY problem by ourselves. Sure, many of life's smaller problems may not require the help of others. But the bigger ones always do.
I'm going to share an amazing secret with you that will either move your toward a solution, or help you solve every problem that you ever face, for the rest of your life...
ASK FOR HELP SOONER!
Just as the baby cries out for help, so should you. Maybe not as loudly, and maybe with a few less tears - but ask for help, NOW! Don't wait!
My friend and mentor Les Brown taught me "We don't ask for help because we are weak, we ask for help to remain strong." You see, most of the problems that show up in your life cannot be solved by the thinking that created them. (By "thinking", I mean that person with the thoughts...YOU!)
The key is distinguishing which problems are within your scope and current ability to tackle, and which ones require support. The faster that you can make this determination, the better.
In nearly every case, the solution to your problem resides in the thinking mind of someone else. Someone with wisdom. Someone with experience. Someone who has successfully overcome the challenge that you are facing. Someone who has demonstrated success in the area in which you need help.
I like to think of it as my own special version of G.P.S. (Going to a Person Smarter)
This is what I call a mentor. And thankfully, I have many. In identifying the areas in which I am weakest (and yeah, there are a bunch), I have sought out mentors to help me gain the knowledge I need to move me toward my goals. When I need their help, I ask for it. Sure, it requires a healthy dose of humility. Yep, it requires me to accept that I don't know it all. And it requires me to lean not upon my own understanding.
But here's what I've found. When you ask for help, YOU WILL GET IT!
And remember, it is important to be asking the right people for help, because everyone is willing to help, but not all are qualified to give it. You need to get directions from someone that knows all the one-ways, the detours, and the quirky layout of the road.
Don't you think a cab driver might have a better handle on navigating the city, versus say, me asking the kid on the 10-speed bike? If I had just stopped and asked the right person for help, I could have saved myself a significant amount of time, energy, effort, and frustration.
When you seek counsel from the types of mentors I described earlier, you can rely upon their advice and direction as being sound and wise.
Looking back, I'm kind of glad that I got lost that day, because it reminded me of this valuable lesson.
I'd encourage you to adopt my G.P.S. philosophy, and you too will be heading in the right direction.
Until next time, be creative!
J. Shoop
www.coachshoop.com
J. Shoop, is a professional coach, speaker, and author of "The Other Secret". His mission in life is to inspire, educate, and help others to become consciously aware of their unlimited potential for greatness. For more info on his services and to connect with him, send an email to jshoop@jshoop.com.
2010 is about to become history.
I was recently thinking back to December of 1999, and all of the drama going on at that time about how the world as-we-know-it was going to come to an end, because the calendar on my computer was going to be confused. Do you remember that? It sure seems pretty insignificant now, doesn't it?
And it sure as heck doesn't seem like that was over ten years ago, but here we are, about to kiss another decade good-bye.
For some, the end of this decade can't come soon enough. (Are YOU in that group?) For others, they'll look fondly back upon memories of new beginnings, new friendships, new habits, and new opportunities.
Like most things, our perception becomes our reality. We can certainly use our memory to remind us of all of the challenges and heartache that was experienced, or we can opt for a different view...one of celebrating victories, regardless of their size, and seeking the lessons in the events and circumstances that occurred.
Which will you choose?
I'd like to offer a suggestion on how you can turn any event or circumstance from this past year into a stepping stone toward your best year yet. It starts with a pen and paper, then two simple questions, and 30 minutes of concentrated, uninterrupted effort.
Question # 1) In 2010, what did I do right? - Too often, we forget to recognize or realize that we have much to be grateful for in our lives. Successes frequently get "swept under the rug", replaced with the busyness of everyday life. Take a moment to reflect on what worked, what you accomplished, the goals you achieved, and the people you met. Spend the next 15 minutes remembering all the things that went right. If you need to, go month-by-month, recalling anything and everything you can that you can put into the "win" category.
Question #2) Knowing what I now know, what would I do differently? - This question encourages you to assess your responsibility in the events of the past year, and to begin figuring out strategies on how to extract the lessons. You might decide to leave some things behind. You might choose to end some relationships. You may choose to replace some bad habits with better habits, Or, you might decide to start moving in a new career direction. Spend another 15 minutes considering answers to this question.
You have before you, the incredible opportunity to make 2011 your best year ever. If you give this exercise your best, you'll find that 2011 can be unmatched in the amounts of success, joy, and happiness that you will experience.
Until next time, be creative!
J. Shoop
www.coachshoop.com
J. Shoop, is a LifeSuccess Consultant with Bob Proctor's organization, and the author of "The Other Secret". His mission in life is to inspire, educate, and help others to become consciously aware of their unlimited potential for greatness. For more info on his services and to connect with him, send an email to jshoop@jshoop.com .
Do you ever spend much time thinking about the future?
Your future?
Sometimes the demands placed upon us daily take up so much of our time, it's hard to find even a moment to consider the future.
But whether you're ready, or not...you're future is coming...and fast.
And you are the one who is charged with determining exactly what that future will look like.
You live in a fast-paced culture in which everything is in motion. And there are no signs of turning back. Standing still doesn't work, either. At least not for very long.
So how do we make sure that our rapidly-accelerating lives don't pass us by like a furious flash of un-fulfilling nothingness ?
I'd like to suggest some tips that can help, but before you read on, I want you to recognize and remember this...
Your current results or circumstances are in no way a reflection what's possible for you in the future.
Your potential is unlimited. And the thoughts, ideas, and plans that you focus upon from this day forward will ultimately shape and direct your future.
Here are some ideas to consider...
1) Stop- First, you need to pause...kind of like how you'd approach a "STOP" sign in California. A brief stop, long enough to look in each direction before proceeding. While paused, take a moment to consider WHAT is MOST IMPORTANT to you at this point in your life. Is it your family? Your career? Your relationships? What brings you joy?
2) Consider some Editing- Then, take a moment to consider, what are some things that DO NOT bring you joy? How could you begin to "edit" them out of your day? Maybe there are some activities or behaviors that are not supporting the vision you have of your highest self? Maybe there are some relationships that you need to extricate yourself from?
3) Commit to Carving- Now think about HOW could you can spend more time, TODAY and TOMORROW, doing more of what it is that you want to do? Don't worry about next week or next month, or next year. Just consider today, and tomorrow. Figure out how to carve out a small segment in the next 48 hours. Maybe you could wake up 30 minutes earlier tomorrow? Or perhaps go to bed 30 minutes later tonight?
Small, incremental commitments of time, directed toward doing what makes you happy, will have a beneficial affect in all areas of your life. Spending time in this frame of mind will become a habit that will replace older, out-dated, less productive habits.
But you have to get started. You need to actively and intentionally plan the way you want your future to look. If you passively stand by, you can be sure that your tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year will just become a more distressed and less fulfilling version of the past.
You have the opportunity to shape your future. I don't know exactly what you're facing or what you're going through, but I do know that if you will work at it, and take an active role in determining how it will unfold, certainly, your best is yet to come!
Until next time, be creative!
J. Shoop
www.coachshoop.com
J. Shoop, is a LifeSuccess Consultant with Bob Proctor's organization, and the author of "The Other Secret". His mission in life is to inspire, educate, and help others to become consciously aware of their unlimited potential for greatness. For more info on his services and to connect with him, send an email to jshoop@jshoop.com .