Ima on (and off) the Bima: Real-Life Jewish Parenting

Into your mind

2013-05-10T14:51:00.001-05:00

Don't wanna nap, you say.

I will lie down with you, I say.

Don't wanna nap!

Wanna jump.

Wanna play.

So I lie in your bed.

I hope to sleep but you are

moving

talking

bouncing

talking

moving

keeping yourself awake.

I find myself not asleep

but not annoyed.

Instead

amused

enlightened

I hear your brain at work.

Snippets of your life.

That's not fair!

I will be right back, Monkey!

Let's jump - 1,2,3!

Is that Spider-Man? Yes it is!

Watch out!

How are you, Dinosaur?

Oh, I love it!

Put your head down, I say.

I don't need a nap, you say.

Please? I say.

No, you are adamant.

So you

jump

move

talk

tell stories.

And I listen.

Blessed with the insight

into your little growing mind.

But I still wish you would just take a nap.

Narrow Bridge

2013-04-25T09:31:00.002-05:00

I walked into the gym at 5:40 this morning.
I sat down to put on my spinning shoes.
And a wave of something like grief washed over me.

I haven't sat down to put on my spin shoes at the gym since...
since before Sam relapsed.

For just a moment, I put my head in my hands.
I breathed in deeply, staving off the dizzy wave of realization and fear.

The world is a very narrow bridge.

I rode my bike.
I sweated.
I stopped at the store.
I grabbed a latte with the early-morning crowd.

And I came back home to some kind of normal...some kind of reality.

All four of them bouncing around.
Breakfast.
School books.
Piano practicing.
Coffee drinking (okay, that was just me.)

The world is a very narrow bridge
but the important thing is not to be afraid.

This in-between at-home-but-knowing-it-is-temporary feeling is unsettling.
The in-between bridge is narrow.
And the end is foggy.

The home-health nurse came for a visit.
She took vitals.
She asked questions.
We flushed his lines after she left.

It was like we had never taken a break.
We remembered exactly what to do.
I wanted to forget.

But the important thing is not to be afraid.

The important thing is not to be afraid...

A Different Kind of Counting

2013-04-16T22:20:00.001-05:00

We are in the period of the Omer, the days between the second day of Passover and Shavuot.

Jews are very into counting.

Each year, I find different ways to observe the Omer. The counting lends rhythm, it is special. More and more of my colleagues and friends are counting the Omer, particularly using social media. It's a really wonderful way to connect and learn new lessons, to remember the day, to sense the passage of time in a communal way.

But this year, my Omer is different. The counting in which I'm engaged is different.

We're counting hemoglobin and white blood cells. We're counting neutrophils and platelets.

The official lap-counting board on the HOT Unit

We're also counting days and weeks, we're counting visitors and jokes. We're counting laps around the unit and we're counting antibiotics and degrees of temperature. We're counting ounces of water consumed and calories taken in.

Counting the Omer has taken on new meaning for me this year. We count up to Shavuot, we add the days...we don't count down. We are reaching, rising, moving forward from the slavery of Passover to the freedom of receiving Torah.

Sam's symptoms began to present themselves on the second night of Passover, the night on which we begin to count the Omer. He entered into the hospital on the last day of the holiday, and we began the count-up....through the slavery and degradation of chemotherapy and treatment into the freedom of healing...

We're not there yet. There's a lot of counting left to go.

Each year we count the Omer. Each year we remind ourselves of the journey from slavery to freedom. But this year, my family is living it. We are walking the road, we are traveling the journey.

Like the Israelites, we are afraid, we don't know what's ahead, we don't know what pitfalls we will face. But we can see the mountain, we can see the high place of light ahead of us.

We're counting up...up...up.

Happy Birthday, Israel!

2013-04-15T08:37:00.001-05:00

Where You Can Find Me

2013-04-04T20:30:00.002-05:00

In case you're looking for me, I'm mostly over here these days.

Unfortunately, things have taken a step backwards into Cancerland.

Gam zeh ya'avor. This too shall pass.

Mini Crustless Quiches {Passover Recipe}

2013-03-27T12:30:00.000-05:00

Crustless quiches sounded like a delicious addition to our Pesach repertoire!

With thanks to Mara over at Kosher on a Budget for the inspiration, here's what I came up with, after reading a whole lot of crustless quiche recipes:

Whisk together 6 eggs and about 1 cup of whole milk. Add about 1/2 a cup of Parmesan, some nice pepper and salt. Preheat oven to 350 and spray your mini-muffin tin (24 cups) with cooking spray.

Into each cup, put a little bit of vegetables* and a little bit of shredded cheese (I used cheddar) and then pour the egg mixture over them until they're all covered. You can pour all the way up to the top of the cups.

Bake for about 30 minutes until slightly brown on top and puffed up.

As soon as they come out of the oven, run a knife around the edge of each quiche and turn them out onto a wire rack to cool. We ate ours at room temperature but they're good hot, cold, or anywhere in between!

*I used frozen spinach, defrosted and squeezed out, as well as some caramelized onions. I can see how almost anything would work here. Just don't overfill the cups.

A delicious addition to your Pesach food offerings!
What's your favorite Passover recipe?

Pesach Make-Your-Own Charoset Oasis

2013-03-26T23:38:00.001-05:00

There are many different ways to observe the holiday of Passover.

In my own personal custom, I'm pretty committed to the idea of one Seder, on the first night of the holiday. A second seder has always felt, well, secondary. It lacks the excitement, the enthusiasm, the delight (albeit short-lived) of that first taste of matzah.

But I love a good party.

So I don't usually turn down the idea of a second-night-of-Passover Party.

Oh, and since I also love to teach and discuss and enjoy traditions, I don't mind throwing a few of the Seder customs into that second-night-of-Passover party.

Often, our second seder is somewhat experimental.

So this year, we tried a few new things.

First, we set up a tent in our living room. Our living room isn't very big, so the tent took up most of the space. But it did allow us to ask a fifth question - "what's with the tent!?"

I had hoped it would spark a discussion of what it would be like to wander in the desert, what we would pack if we had to leave on a moment's notice. Alas, it wasn't quite as sparky as I'd hoped. But the kids loved having a tent. And Big Bear loved having a room of his own.

The more successful innovation was this Make-Your-Own Charoset Oasis:

(As named by my friend Rabbi Anne Persin, who says, "we're traveling in the desert and we stopped at this oasis for some charoset!")

I put out bowls of chopped nuts, chopped apples, chopped pears, mandarin oranges, toasted coconut, and raisins. I pre-soaked the apples and pears in wine, and I left a little extra wine on the table for those who like it extra-mushy. We also put out honey and cinnamon (not pictured). Even my kids who don't usually like charoset got into the fun, and adults did too. (Bananas came up as a suggestion, and I waited to cut them until the last minute and then I forgot. Oops.)

I think it might be fun to ask people to suggest their own ingredients, or to ask them to bring a bowl filled with a charoset ingredient and its significance toward the lessons of Passover. Either way, I think I've created a hit with this one!

In case you're interested, we also watched some of our favorite Pesach videos and had a little discussion about freedom, slavery, and plagues. Yael said the four questions (even though she got both giggly and shy) and I quizzed all the kids about all that they knew about Passover. And of course, we ate a yummy meal! We celebrated with friends and family and I consider it to be a wonderful and fun success!

How were your Seder experiences?

Did you try anything new? Please share....I'd love to learn from you!

Family Traits

2013-03-21T22:38:00.002-05:00

There is something about the apple....falling...not far from the tree? You might say so.

The other day, I took this adorable picture of Yael and Solly:

After I took it, I thought to myself, "bummer, that there's that bag between them" (it was over her shoulder) but I made sure not to say a word. I didn't want to over-stage the picture, I didn't really mind. After all, look at how cute they are! So I was pretty content.

Then Yael comes over and says, "let me see the picture." I show her, saying how nice it was. She says, "too bad the bag is in the picture between us!"

Another day this week, I found myself saying the kind of words my parents used to say.
I had a flash of "oh-my-gosh-I'm-my-parents."

One generation leads to the next leads to the next....

I'm my parents.
And my daughter is me.

Let the circle continue...

#BlogExodus - Chodesh Tov!

2013-03-12T00:05:00.000-05:00

For this new moon of Nisan, a poem:

The time is upon us
for freedom...
for freeing
ourselves
from the bondage
of slavery
of winter

spring comes
and we break free

Nisan comes and it's like the world opens up.

The waters part
the world renews.

The new moon of Nisan is only 15 days from the moment of the Exodus...it takes only a few moments for freedom to come, but a lifetime of lifetimes to truly believe in it.

Originally posted here.

With the beginning of Nisan also begins #BlogExodus for the next 2 weeks. (More on that here.) All you have to do is use the hashtag and there are suggested prompts on the graphic (feel free to grab it). Maybe you just want to post on your Facebook or Twitter about these topics...or maybe you want to try #Exodusgram, a new idea to post photos related to these themes? Read more of my #BlogExodus posts over at my other blog, rabbiphyllis.blogspot.com, my #Exodusgram pictures on my tumblr site, imabima.tumblr.com, and other miscellaneous Passover posts here at imabima.blogspot.com. It's going to be a busy fortnight!

#BlogExodus #ExodusGram 5773

2013-03-11T00:01:00.000-05:00

I love love love love Passover.
It's one of my favorite holidays.

I love the preparation that goes into this one special week of the year.
And I love the spiritual nature of completely changing the way that we eat for one week. I relish the way that it makes us so consciously aware of each morsel that we place in our mouths. I am inspired by the themes of the holiday that give us so much personal food for thought. (Yes, pun intended!)

Last year, I tried out a new way to interpret the preparation for Passover, with #BlogExodus and #Exodusgram.

I thought it was great, and I know that others did too.

So here is this year's #blogExodus and #Exodusgram theme list:

Feel free to grab this image and use it on your own blog to mark your posts.

So what is this really about? #BlogExodus is really what you want to make of it. I've provided topics for the first 14 days of the month of Nisan. What you do with it is up to you -- write a blog post, tweet, Facebook, tumblr, or something that I haven't even thought of yet! Use the hashtag to share your post (I put it into the title). It's a great way to kickstart a blog or rejuvenate your languishing blog or just get yourself ready for the holiday of Passover! I will, again, be posting my #blogExodus posts over at rabbiphyllis.blogspot.com and I will tweet them out at @imabima. There aren't any rules, so maybe you don't like the order of the topics? Maybe you want to write on only a few of them? It doesn't matter. It is what you make of it.

#Exodusgram is a little more interpretive. While I love Instagram (I'm imabima, of course), I know some people don't. So maybe you want to share Exodus-themed photos via Facebook, Twitter, tumblr, Pinterest or....whatever! My #Exodusgram posts will go up on Instagram and then be shared to my tumblr, imabima.tumblr.com. Whatever you do, don't forget to tag with #Exodusgram so we can all share.

The themes are really up for your own interpretation. I was thinking broadly and openly about what makes Passover special and interesting to me. I hope it will translate into creative and inspirational posts from all of us!

Are you going to play along? Leave me a comment here or send me a tweet or just...play along!
At some point in the middle, I will probably do a "roundup" post and I will retweet all the #BlogExodus and #Exodusgram posts through Twitter via @imabima. If I miss your posts, let me know so I can go back and be inspired by what YOU have to say!

*Yes, I know that I put the Shabbat dates there. I don't blog/tweet/Facebook on Shabbat but I will post on Fridays before Shabbat and on Saturdays after Shabbat is over. You can, of course, do it any way you like!

Lost: One Hour

2013-03-10T14:29:00.002-05:00

Today we changed our clocks. "Spring forward" is a nice motto, and it's a good memory trick.
The practice of changing the clocks dates back to the first World War, and was a way to maximize energy efficiency. Some people hate daylight savings time, and some people love it. No matter how you feel about it, though, if you forget to change your clocks....well, you spend a lot of time confused.

Everyone always talks about how we "lose" an hour when we set our clocks forward. It's such a sad idea, really, to think of just - poof - an hour gone.

It reminds me how precious time is.
It reminds me how much each minute, each second, each not-lost hour matters.

Time is such a funny idea, really. It's a construct, isn't it? The rabbis created their own setting for time -- basically, they divided each day from daybreak to sunset into 12 equal parts, each one considered a "rabbinic hour" -- these hours are used to determine when one should say each of the various daily prayer services. They're variable, of course, based on the seasons, which is why a person who observes these zmanim (times) needs a specialized listing (or app for their phone) to help keep track. It's also why it's tricky to observe "Jewish time" in a place like St. Petersburg, which is so close to the Arctic Circle. During the winter months, each "hour" is very short. The daylight hours in which to accomplish daytime prayers are minimal! And then in the summer -- the daylight hours never seem to end!

I've often joked at summer camp that we should just set all the clocks on camp to whatever time we want them to be set at. It's such an insulated experience; we could tell the kids they are sleeping until 9am "camp time" and it might only be 8am in the "real world."

When we have control over the time -- why not buy a little extra sleep?
Or at least make it feel as though we're getting more!

We acknowledge the passing of time and in doing so, we sanctify it...we make it holy. We measure birthdays and anniversaries, we pay careful attention to the changing of the year and setting forth the holidays. We celebrate moments, large and small, in order to make something so ephemeral as time a living and sacred part of our lives. Time might fly when you're having fun. But time can be snatched away if we fail to pause and sanctify it.

Yes, we lost an hour this weekend.
And it helped me to remember that time is precious.
It is a gift....it is a blessing.

Your wisdom sets the way on which time and season glide;

Your breath guides the sail of the stars.

Creator of the tide of time and light,

You guide the current of day into night.

As heaven spans to infinity,

You set its course for eternity.

(Rabbi Elyse Frishman, in Mishkan Tefillah)

Lost: One Hour -- Arrrrrghhhhhh!!!!!!

No Worries Here

2013-03-01T14:16:00.002-06:00

Cross-posted to Superman Sam's blog...

Tuesday, 2:23pm: Snow is falling thickly outside. Afterschool activities have already been cancelled. I'm in my comfy clothes, working on the computer while Solly naps. When the phone rings, and I see that it's the school, I assume it has to do with the snow.

School nurse: Hi, I have Sam here and he says his knee hurts. And he is worried because it's just like before.

If I tell you that I nearly dropped the phone...if I tell you that I burst into tears...if I tell you those things, I know you would forgive me for losing my cool.

I asked to talk to Sam. In a very calm, small, quiet voice, he said, "Mom, it feels just like when I was first diagnosed."

I swallowed hard.
My seven-year-old knows the word "diagnosed" and uses it properly in a sentence.
We discussed whether he should stay at school or not. With the snowstorm, and only about 45 minutes left in school, he decided to miss gym but rejoin his class for music.

And I called the clinic.
In tears.

They were, as usual, amazing.
As a fellow pediatric-illness-parent-friend said to me, they know every nook and cranny of the cliffs that we are ready to jump off. This one was a pick-up-my-kid-in-a-near-blizzard-and-drive-all-the-way-to-Milwaukee-for-an-MRI kind of cliff.

But they talked me down. He had gymnastics on Monday. Maybe he wrenched it? His joints and bones could be affected by the chemo and this could just be residual effects. It could just be normal-kid-aches-and-pains.

Sam had a clinic appointment scheduled for today, Friday. A regular check-up. The ones that I'm not supposed to worry about. The ones that they told me were just for routine.
That we would notice symptoms if anything was happening.

Tuesday night, he limped around. He took a bath. He snuggled while we read Ramona Forever.
As he went to bed...he said, "I hope it's not leukemia."

I said, "me too."

By Thursday, he was fine. No pain. Except the one inside my stomach, waiting to have a medical professional PROVE to me that he was fine.

I was up all night last night waiting for today's drive to Milwaukee. What would the results say?

It's all fine. He's fine.
Numbers normal.
No worries.

Well, not at least until next time there's a false alarm, right?

Chocolate pudding & a movie at 10am? You know we're in Cancerland for the day.

Purim 2013

2013-02-26T09:15:00.000-06:00

This year's Purim was pretty simple.

A lot of hamantaschen were made and eaten.

The kids wanted to be the characters from the Wizard of Oz. I love the idea of a family theme costume, and we've never done it before...it worked...mostly. Solly would NOT wear a costume at all.

Even without a costume on, I am so glad I got this picture of my four musketeers!

Finally at the end of the Carnival, he let our friend Sam put HIS costume onto Solly.

For about 30 seconds. Just long enough for me to take a picture!

Sometimes Purim is a big blowout.

Sometimes we just barely make it.

This year was one of those barely-make-it kind of years.

But you know what? We celebrated, we had fun, and there's always next year!

Costumes and all that hamantaschen....and now we're onto Pesach!

I Love Mondays {Review}

2013-02-25T04:00:00.000-06:00

Remember, I'm a working mama.
Many days, I get up and leave the house in the morning and don't return til the night.
Some days, I'm home for part of the day and some days I go into work in the evening.

When I walk into the house around dinner time, I will usually hear this question: "Are you home for the night?" and they don't really believe me until I put on my pajamas.

Lately, I've started to get little notes like this:

Aside from the obvious spelling error...yeah. You get the idea.

Recently, I received I Love Mondays and Other Confessions From Devoted Working Moms by Michelle Cove. It was just the book I needed after that little note made its way into my pocket this week.

It was funny and well-written, and it wasn't preachy. It didn't say that it's easy to be a working mom, or that it should be easy to be a working mom. What it did was remind me that there are a ton of parents (both male and female) out there who are experiencing the same push and pull that I experience. A desire to be with my family and a knowledge that my work is valuable and wonderful and beloved.

I liked the strategies in the book - real words about how to deal with real situations like the wails...."don't go, Mommmmmmmmmeeeeeee"....I liked the personal stories and the anecdotes.

I must admit that I read most of the book while sitting outside Solly's room while he tried to convince me that bedtime was optional. Those moments when I'm not sure that he's ever going to go to sleep...when I wonder what kind of mother I am that my child just isn't interested in going to bed and will he ever go to sleep and can I please go and sit downstairs and watch tv or have, shockingly, an adult conversation with my husband?

So maybe that's why this book struck such a chord with me.

But still, I think that all working mamas can benefit from this book. And even those mamas who work at home, I think you will like it too. Because parenting is hard. And whatever book can help us through it in a supportive way, bringing us together instead of tearing us down...well, I'm good with that.

So when you start to get little notes that tell you not to go to "wrck"...know that you are not alone.
I'm getting them too.

At What Age...

2013-02-22T06:00:00.000-06:00

At what age did you get your ears pierced?

I was seven. To make a long story short, my parents had actually said 12. But I bargained it out by learning to ride a two-wheeler.

Yael started an ear-piercing campaign shortly after her fifth birthday.
I hemmed and hawed. It seemed like every day she'd come home with a new story of a different friend who "just got her ears pierced."

With only one girl in the family, I knew that I was not likely to be setting a major precedent if I allowed ear piercing at age 6. (I'm sure I'll let you know when the boys ask for it.)

So I finally agreed.

I asked around and decided that the place at the mall was the right spot.
I wanted someone who did it a LOT and had a relatively vested interest in making their customers happy and keeping them healthy. I called ahead to make sure there would be two people to do both ears at the same time.

Little did I know that Yael did her own research. Are you at all surprised?
On a regular basis, she has been dragging Uncle Josh to the mall (she has afternoon kindergarten so there are lots of open mornings) and visiting The Store Where They Pierce Ears. She's learned names. She's observed ear piercings. She told me all about the chair she would sit in and the stuffed bear she would get to hold. And the way they would mark her ears. And which of her "friends" at the place would help her.

I should not be surprised but I was totally in awe.

And just like that, trip-trap, she plopped herself into that chair, and got her ears pierced.

Lest you think I haven't contemplated the Jewish implications of this ear piercing experience, check this out.

Hamantaschen 2013

2013-02-21T04:00:00.000-06:00

Every year we make a lot of hamantaschen. I love them. I love to share them with friends and family.

Many people make amazing themed mishloach manot.
I just give out hamantaschen.

I think it's okay.

So this year we made a lot of "normal" hamantaschen. A few batches of my Aunt Dora's recipe and a few batches of cream-cheese dough. One batch of yeast dough, too.

My brother is visiting from Israel and he helped with a lot of the fun!

Bubbie (my mom) made a whole bunch of filling for us!

Zeyde (my dad) approves

Why yes, they ARE playing with flour. Doesn't everyone?

And as usual, I wanted to try something new.

I was totally inspired by this post from Pragmatic Attic, Midnight Mint Hamantaschen.

But since I already have a chocolate dough that I know and love, my brother suggested that we just replace the vanilla with mint extract. And since I'd already bought the Special Dark Cocoa, I used that too. Just the dough was pretty darn yummy. Then we added the mint ganache as filling and they were outstanding.

Maybe other new ideas coming, we'll see!

If you're still looking for hamantaschen ideas, here are some of my previous posts on the subject.

Great-Aunt Dora's Dough Recipe (a basic, wonderful, forgiving dough recipe)
Yeast Dough
Chocolate Dough
Cream Cheese Dough
Hamantaschen Tips and Tricks
And if you don't like hamantaschen, try these Palmiers for Purim.

P.S. Hamantaschen are GREAT for breakfast. Just ask Solly:

Pajama Party for Girl6

2013-02-20T09:00:00.000-06:00

I know that I write a lot of posts about my daughter. She is great fodder for a mama-blogger.

Her birthday party? A class all of its own.

For the last six months or so, Yael has been planning her birthday party. We decided early on that she would have a pajama party. Before you get all excited, note that I didn't say a "sleepover" or even an "undernighter." Yael's party was from 3:30-4:30pm, it was purely a party in which people wear pajamas. It was pajama-themed.

That wasn't the part that Yael planned. The biggest deal for her was the guest list. In our house, you get to invite (approximately) the same number of guests as the years of your age. She had to narrow her list down to six friends. For weeks...nay, for months...she has been writing and re-writing the list. She takes the school Buzz Book and reads the names. She has spelled the names. She has decorated the names.

When the time came to make the final list (that is, send out the evite), she was absolutely ready. In fact, I think everyone in the house could recite the list of guests!

Remarkably, all of her guests were available. I try so hard to convey to the other parents the full weight of this invitation from her. She chose so carefully! I so appreciate that the other parents "got it."

Yael wanted chocolate cupcakes.

Decorated with pink frosting.

And sprinkles.

"And everyone's initials on their cupcake, mom. Because I can tell you everyone's initials."

So often, parties are about the guest of honor. To Yael, it was very much about making all of her guests feel special and welcome and important. And that is one of the things that makes her so special.

So we decorated them all with initials.

The rest of the party went off as expected. There were our usual party games, like "pin the pillow on the bed" and relay races and hot potato (played with a bedroom slipper). There were bedtime stories, most of which were about...well...bedtime. The Abba Sababa led the group in some "bedtime calisthenics" which were hilarious as usual. And of course, we ate cupcakes and had general chaotic wonderful birthdayness. And even Michael and I wore our jammies!

It was fairly perfect in Yael's mind.

I think she's already planning for next year.

Now She Is Six

2013-02-19T13:47:00.003-06:00

The boys all have their birthdays in November and December.
What am I saying? Everyone in our household has their birthday in November or December.

Except Yael.

She never fails to mention that her birthday is "last" - which makes sense if you live life by the Jewish calendar or in Yael's world, where all the birthdays come in rapid-fire succession. We've tried hard to explain and convince her that her birthday is actually first. Sigh.

Either way, my little girl is now six years old!

Six! That's a big number.
And of course, with two older brothers and a younger one, she is her own unique blend of awesome.
She is fun and funny, able to make up intense creative imaginings that keep her busy for hours.
Her emotions are loud and powerful, and she feels a need to make her presence known.
She is amazing with her little brother and totally worships her big brothers.
Except when they make her crazy and she heads into her "office" for a little alone time.

Happy birthday to my sweet girl....

Banana Oatmeal Muffins {Recipe}

2013-02-06T20:11:00.003-06:00

also known as...The End of a Blender Era

Today happens to be my wedding anniversary. Thirteen years.

It seems like a long time, and then it feels very short....isn't that how time just goes?

I still have a few of my wedding presents, including my blender.

It was very nice.

I liked it a lot.

Tonight, I killed it.

Poor blender. RIP

While making these muffins.

Banana-Oatmeal Muffins (based on this recipe that I found on Pinterest)

Preheat oven to 400 degrees

Spray muffin pan with nonstick cooking spray.

Into your blender, put:

1 cup Greek yogurt

2 eggs

3/4 cup sugar

1 1/2 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp baking soda

2-3 ripe bananas

1/2 tsp cinnamon

pinch of salt

(optional: 1 tablespoon PB2 powder, if you happen to have it and like peanut butter as much as I do)

Blend them all together.

Then add 2 1/2 cups of old-fashioned oatmeal about 1/2 a cup at a time.

Pour it all into the muffin pan.

Bake about 15 minutes until a toothpick comes out clean.

Remove immediately from the pan and cool.

They are quite yummy.

Almost worth the new blender I'm going to have to get!

Nom nom nom....

My Journey to Cuba

2013-02-05T14:24:00.000-06:00

I just returned from five days in Havana, Cuba.

You're thinking....Cuba!? How did *that* happen!?

Turns out, you can travel to Cuba legally from the United States, if you have a special humanitarian visa. (There are other ways, as well, but this is how we did it.) In fact, our congregation has been taking trips to Cuba for over 10 years, on this special visa that allows us to bring aid and comfort to the Jewish community.

There are Jews in Cuba!?

Of course, silly. There are Jews (almost) everywhere.

Actually, the Jewish community of Cuba was once thriving but is now a pretty small remnant. There are probably less Jews in Havana now than we have in one seating on the High Holy Days at our synagogue! For sure, there are more Jews in Highland Park, Illinois, than in Cuba.

You can read a little more about the Jews of Cuba here.

We were able to bring into the country a lot of medical and school supplies, things that are hard for them to come by, and we also brought cash donations to aid their programs, such as senior day care, youth learning, and ritual observances. We visited the two Jewish centers in Cuba - one is Ashkenazi and one Sephardi (but they work together a lot) and some of their projects. One of their main projects is a community pharmacy that helps to supplement the state-run pharmacies that provide medical care in Cuba.

Before we went, I read as much as I could about Cuba. This still left me completely unprepared for the sheer beauty and decay of the place, the happiness all around me, the total poverty that I could see in so many places, and the experiences of being a part of what was once a magnificent city. I know that most of what we saw is "touristy" - even though Americans can't travel as tourists to Cuba, many others certainly do! I met Canadians, Europeans, and South Americans who were all visiting Cuba purely as a tourist destination. It was warm and beautiful, with beaches and beautiful sites to see. The food was quite good, although we didn't drink the tap water, we didn't have any trouble finding places that our guide deemed "safe" for us to eat (and try the mojitos). Nearly every place we ate, there was live music and we also spent just a few minutes in the baseball stadium to get a feel for the Cuban national pastime.

At the end of the trip, we asked our participants (there were 36 of us in total) to offer 6-word summations of the trip. My favorite one was "Short flight. Landed fifty years ago." Only 45 minutes away from Miami is this country that truly feels like a trip to the past. The buildings, the cars, the mentality... even though modernity is slowly coming to Cuba, there is still an old-world feeling to this place.

Of course, I took a LOT of pictures (although there were many other shutterbugs on our trip, so I didn't take even close to the most pictures!) and here are some of my favorites....

2 Bowls?!

2013-01-18T16:28:00.004-06:00

I got a new mixer this year (long story) and I really love it. It's just a bigger version of my old one, but it's shiny and red.

For my birthday, two of my friends bought me a second bowl for the mixer.

My dad's comment? "If anyone needs two bowls for a mixer, it's you."

Truthfully, I wasn't totally sure that anyone needed two bowls. Then again....when you need 2, nothing else will do!

So I got my hands on the library's copy of the Smitten Kitchen cookbook (which I'm now planning to buy, by the way). It was beautiful. Even more beautiful than her blog, if that's possible. (My only complaint? Many of the recipes are on multiple pages -- this recipe that I'm about to talk about had the ingredients on one page and the instructions on the next, so I was constantly going back and forth. I *might* have made the library's copy a tiny bit sticky....)

Inside the cookbook was a recipe for Gooey Cinnamon Squares.

Put the word "gooey" and "cinnamon" together and I'm totally sold.

Once I read the somewhat fiddly recipe, I was less excited but I decided this was a perfect opportunity to try out my second bowl for the mixer.

They were delicious, although not as pretty as the ones in the cookbook.

Recipe, slightly adapted:

Cookie Base

1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
~~1 teaspoon cream of tartar~~
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
2 teaspoons baking powder (instead of the cream of tartar and soda)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature
3/4 cup sugar
1 large egg
1/4 cup milk

Gooey Layer (it just *sounds* delicious)
1/4 cup light corn syrup
1/4 cup milk
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
12 tablespoons (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature
1 cup plus 2 tbsp sugar (225g - this is a good place to use your kitchen scale)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 large egg
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

Topping

2 tbsp sugar

1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon

Directions

1. Heat oven to 350 F. Line the bottom of a 9-by-13-inch cake pan with parchment, allowing the ends to hang over at least 2 inches. Coat pan and parchment with cooking spray. Set aside.
2. Make the cookie base: Stir together the flour, cream of tartar, baking soda, and salt; set aside. In an electric mixer, cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, 2 min. Add the egg and milk and beat until combined. Stir in flour mixture until just incorporated. Spread dough into an even layer in the prepared pan; set aside. (This was tricky, I used my fingers)
3. Make the gooey layer: Whisk together the corn syrup, milk, and vanilla in a bowl and set aside. In an electric mixer (second bowl but you could probably just wipe out the first bowl) cream butter, 1 cup sugar and salt until fluffy. Add the egg and beat until combined. Add the flour and corn syrup mixture by thirds, mixing each time until all ingredients are incorporated. Dollop over the cookie base and spread into an even layer. (Less tricky than the first spread!)
4. Mix together 2 tbsp sugar and cinnamon; sprinkle over the gooey layer. Bake until edges have set and center is still gooey, 35 min. Let cool completely, about 3 hr. Lift from pan using the parchment; cut into 1-inch squares. Can be kept covered at room temperature for 3 days...bwah ha ha. If they last that long. And just *TRY* not to eat them warm. I dare you.

Yum.

Do You Have a Favorite Tree?

2013-01-14T21:01:00.003-06:00

The holiday of Tu BiShvat is coming, so obviously, I've got trees on the brain.

Today as I drove to work, the trees were coated in a gorgeous shiny shellacking of ice. It's almost as beautiful as a coating of snow. They glittered in the sunlight.

Yesterday, I was at a gathering in which I was asked for my favorite tree. Only one creative soul in the group had a favorite, and it was her NEW favorite. Meaning that she previously had an OLD favorite tree.

Both were pretty cool.

She likes this one (the OLD favorite)

Image from National Geographic

and this one (the NEW favorite):

Image from Wikipedia

I was impressed.
Do I have a favorite tree?

I like the trees in the fall when they change color. I love the different kinds of leaves and the way that they become different colors - some are supremely red, shockingly bright. Some have different colors as they blow in the wind, and they ripple with beauty. Some are silvery or purple-hued.

I love a good weeping willow - so grand and majestic, yet somehow sad because of their name.

I tell stories about apple trees a lot, it seems, and they are so friendly with their branches heavy with fruit. In the summer, I love to sit under any nice cool shady tree and peek at the blue sky above. I dream of perfect birch trees in which to perch my children and take their perfect photos.

But even though all sorts of trees are nice, I think it is in the darkest dark of coldest cold winter that I start to dream about this kind of tree:

Image from Wikipedia

Do you have a favorite tree?

2013: Opening Thoughts

2013-01-10T11:38:00.002-06:00

Some updates, some thoughts, some future-thinking...

First things first:
Things are going well in Cancerland.
Sam rang the bell to signify the official "end of treatment" and we are breathing a little easier.

In other, unrelated news:

There's a new trend in "new year's resolutions" - choosing one word to inspire the upcoming year.

I like it. Because, like Calvin, I'm in no need of repair:

Ha.
Right.

So I've given this a lot of thought over the last few weeks. See how it's taken me until the 10th day of the year to even write the post?

I've decided that my One Word for 2013 is going to be COURAGE.

It's not that I want to banish fear from my life, since courage is often associated with fearlessness. On the contrary. I think that true courage is embracing the fear, holding on tightly to it, and running with it. The word courageous is bandied about to refer to people who do amazing things - but often even they themselves will say that they were filled with fear during those moments of courage.

But they kept going.

And since it seemed a little too complex to use "Not-Paralyzed-By-Fear-of-Unknown/Change/New/Different/Hard" - I figured I could shorten it up to COURAGE.

So what am I going to do with all that courage?
Hmm. That's a good question. I often feel that I get stuck in a routine, that I work on something that "works" and so I don't want to change it. I know that I look for new ideas, new plans, new projects ... but many of them get lost in words like busy, tired, overwhelmed....and I think that a lot of that is really just a list of secret names for fear. So I'm hoping to use my One Word to push back against those words that I use, and peel them back...and find some new courage.

There might be some new projects, and there might not. There might be some new ideas, and there might not. Maybe "new" is just a mask for fear of continuing with things the way they are. So maybe it works both ways.

Whatever it is - I'm hoping that this One Word will guide me. I might update you on what's going on with it. I might not. I'm still not sure how it will play out...and I think I'm okay with that uncertainty. I do tend to be fearful of not-knowing....so today's moment of courage is living in this uncertainty of what might be.

So as we jump into 2013 with both feet...what's your word?

Books I Read in 2012

2012-12-30T21:37:00.002-06:00

Every year I post a book list. (Well, every year since 2008.)

Want to read those posts? Good lists.... 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011.

Unlike incredibly motivated people who set themselves a particular goal for how many books to read, I just...read. But keeping track of the books has become one of my favorite things to do! And it does motivate me to see how many I can read in one year. In 2010, I hit my highest number (since I've been keeping track) when I read 100 books. But I haven't quite hit that since. I'm giggling as I read back over the previous years' posts. Each year I say that I'm really not about the quantity...but I am! I get such a little thrill when I add another book to the list.

Things were a little different this year. I didn't read as much as I usually do...I was distracted.

I've been cramming at the end of the year - reading like crazy! The librarians had forgotten what I looked like but now I'm back to my usual borrowing habits.

11/22/63 by Stephen King
Graceling by Kristin Cashore
The Always War by Margaret Petersen Haddix
The Breadwinner by Deborah Ellis
Reality is Broken by Jane McGonigal
Tempest by Julie Cross
When She Woke by Hillary Jordan
Fire by Kristin Cashore
Wither by Lauren DeStefano
Blackout by Connie Willis
All Clear by Connie Willis
Linchpin by Seth Godin
The Art of Non-Conformity by Christ Guillebeau
Home Front by Kristin Hannah
Pathfinder by Orson Scott Card
The Dovekeepers by Alice Hoffman
Alice's Piano by Melissa Muller
The Shape of Desire by Sharon Shinn
Tomorrow's Synagogue Today by Hayim Herring
Where Justice Dwells by Jill Jacobs
I am Forbidden by Anouk Markovits
The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern
My Russian Grandmother and her American Vacuum Cleaner by Meir Shalev
Bloom by Kelle Hampton
The Dressmaker by Kate Alcott
House of Velvet and Glass by Katherine Howe
97 Orchard by Jane Ziegelman
Unorthodox by Deborah Feldman
An Invisible Thread by Laura Schroff
Fallen Angel by Daniel Silva
Next Year in Israel by Sarah Bridgeton
The Books of Rachel by Joel Gross
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Summerland by Ellin Hilderbrand
History of a Pleasure-Seeker by Richard Mason
Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott
Chains by Laurie Halse Anderson
Forge by Laurie Halse Anderson
Lord of Mountains by S.M. Stirling
Sown in Tears by Beverly Magid
Midwife of Venice by Roberta Rich
The Timekeeper by Mitch Albom
The Next Best Thing by Jennifer Weiner
The Casual Vacancy by J.K. Rowling
Every Day by David Levithan
A World Away by Nancy Grossman
Fire in the Ashes by Jonathan Kozol
Sipping from the Nile by Jean Naggar
Road to Valor by Aili and Andres McConnor
Hot Mamalah by Lisa Klug
Whispers in Autumn by Tricia Leigh
The Last Song by Eva Weisman
Arcadia by Lauren Groff
The Lawgiver by Herman Wouk
A Yellow Raft on Blue Water by Michael Dorris
Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
The Giving Quilt by Jennifer Chiaverini
Mountains Beyond Mountains by Tracy Kidder
Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter

So what did I like best?
Hmm. I loved Gone Girl. I know it was one of those controversial-love-it-or-hate-it books but I was in the "love it" camp. When She Woke was a great one, and so was The Dovekeepers and The Night Circus. I've recommended Arcadia, and I also have suggested that people read Unorthodox and I Am Forbidden (I actually think they complement each other nicely). The newest Wouk book about Moses (actually about a film about Moses, but let's not be picky) was fabulous, and I can't say enough amazing things about Brene Brown's writing and Kelle Hampton's photography & words. I'm so bummed that I was not a fan of J.K. Rowling's new-and-so-not-Harry-Potter book because I really wanted to be. (I was pleased to slip in an Elm Creek Quilt book at the end of the year - I do love those!) But I did enjoy almost all the books on this list!

And what am I going to read next? I have a whole list. Plus I have other people's lists and it never seems to end. There's always a great book just around the corner waiting for me. But most of the time I just read whatever comes my way...what do you think I should read?

My dad with Yael a few years ago....READING!

P.S. This whole keeping track of what I read thing has inspired my dad. Okay, that's not quite the right word. It challenged him....to beat me! (Which, by the way, he did.) Not totally sure about the fairness of the fight but luckily he is my dad and so it's a friendly competition!

P.P.S. If you want to follow along with what I'm reading, I update on the right-hand sidebar of this blog, and I also have a Goodreads account but I'm not quite as good about updating that.

{36 Reasons} Cute Teeth

2012-12-20T07:00:00.000-06:00

I totally imagined that this project would be all about ME and doing new things for these days leading up to my birthday.

Instead, I seem to have had a lot of firsts with my kiddos.

Like Solly's first trip to the dentist, which was so adorable it almost doesn't need any words:

Blessed are You, O God, Ruler of the World, who creates milestones for our children, who gives us the energy to revel in the milestones, and who has brought me to this day.