"Ignighter Feedburner" via Kevin in Google Reader

Booty Calling Someone Before a First Date: Not a Good Idea

2009-04-14T10:01:20Z

Last week, I received a drunk dial on Friday from a guy that I had a first date with on Saturday. Actually, make that two calls. Neither of which I answered. The next night, after waiting for 10 minutes at the designated meeting spot (which also happened to be the corner outside his apartment), I joined my friends for dinner. I received three more phone calls during dinner (which he knew about via text) and one awesome final drunk dial at 2:30 AM, which woke me up when I had an 8:30 AM flight. Now he wonders why I won't "hookah" with him next Saturday. Oh, by the way, this entire date, besides the initial meeting, was set up via Facebook. And this is just the latest in a virtual cesspool of technological dating errors. I've also had two Microsoft Outlook dates turn into duds. Years of drunken, college booty calls have caused intimacy and commitment issues I don't know if I'll ever overcome, and my sister is currently in a fight with her boyfriend because she didn't answer her phone for a three-hour period last night. Every night, at least one of my friends exclaims "Oh my God, he's read my BBM!! Why isn't he responding?!" And I have had not one, but two completely unrelated friends, scream at their boyfriends and have their rants transcribed, in real time, on their blackberries. They had nowhere to run in the morning. It's sad, really. Courtship has been reduced to Facebook stalking sessions and drunken booty calls. Instead of a nice message on your voicemail wondering if you'd like to catch a movie, you get a message over the internet that says, "Yo, u look hot. We want to hook up w u cutiez." Even the temptation of an illicit affair has lost its sinful appeal because you can just text six people at the same time on your Sidekick. I'm not asking for rose petals on the bed and hundred of candles from Hobby Lobby all over the room. In fact, I think that would make me gag. But how about a phone call rather than a text conversation that takes three hours to come to fruition? How about a surprise home-cooked meal? Nothing fancy. I'll like you and you get to eat. Both important to evolutionary success. And let's be honest, that's really what this is all about. So please, shut down your computer, turn off your crackberry, and let's produce some offspring. ---------------------------------------------------- Meet The Author Hi. I'm Blair. 5' 3', blue eyes, brown hair that really needs to be washed right now. But you can see all that on my Ignighter profile. I guess what you need to know here is that my personality falls into the 'Analysis Paralysis' category. At least, that's why my ex-life coach told me right before I fired her. Anyways, this means that I will scrutinize and over-analyze everything I see and/ or hear and/ or smell within the young urbanites' dating scene. My theories, rants and questions will wind up here, most of the time with an entertaining story or 5 about one of my friends', or my own, dating sagas (please don't take this as a reason to not date and/or befriend me). I hope you enjoy the ride, and feel free to hop on with questions and comments at any time.

Ignighter Introduction

2009-04-15T20:14:45Z

Hey everyone... I'm Andrew, a 27-year-old living in New York by way of Atlanta and then the University of Michigan, and I must say, I'm very excited about blogging for Ignighter.com. At this point, you're undoubtedly asking yourselves, "why is this guy choosing to blog about his dating life in a public forum?" And the short answer is, I've already done so for quite some time. That's right, I used to have an anonymous blog. Sure, it was quite a bit more risque than what I'll be doing here, and no, I'm not going to show it to you (probably... unless you beg... though I can't imagine its very endearing), but I also simply loved writing it. Not only do I consider myself something of a storyteller, but I've also been (un)fortunate enough to enjoy some pretty nutty things in the realm of singledom and people often seem to derive great laughter at my expense. But I'm getting ahead of myself. The real reason I'll be writing here is that I can honestly say that in my 27 years, I've experienced pretty much everything the dating scene has to offer outside, of a marriage or an unplanned pregnancy (though I can't say with 100% certainty that there are no mini-me's running around). It started with a serious four-year girlfriend, with whom I did long-distance for a while, and then for whom I moved to New York and moved in with. Fairytale, right?? Not so much. Unfortunately, I was quite a bit unfaithful during our four years together, and she ultimately kicked me out; we haven't spoken or even seen each other since (no, I'm not proud of any of it, but that's life). Anyhow, in the 3.5 years since, I've dated girls of all shapes and sizes, from all walks of life, and everyone in between. I've used dating websites, and met friends of friends. I've even used Craigslist (but only twice). I've had one night stands, and I've had long-standing relationships which consist of nothing but sex. I even had a little three month fling... once. And oh yeah, I wrote it all down. The point is, as I stated before, I've experienced just about everything you girls can throw at me, and have admittedly thrown ya'll no shortage of curveballs right back. So I'm here to share my experiences with you, and maybe even try a little bit of group dating, since it's a great idea, and the one-on-one version doesn't seem to have worked thus far. Who knows... perhaps I'll even learn something along the way as well.

"take care", "... fuck you"

2009-04-16T21:21:05Z

My ex-whatever brought medicine to me the other night. We were friends for a few months, dated for a few months and broke it off because...I'm still not totally sure why. With the exception of the occasional drunken encounter that reminds me why we can't be together, we've been fairly successful at remaining friends. So, he brings me ibuprofen and then he sits in a chair across from me, lounging on the couch. We look at each other for a while. Actually, try not to look at each other because neither one of us has anything to say, and we're past the small talk stage. After about half an hour, conversation starts rolling and it feels natural and good. Ten minutes later he leaves for dinner, and as he's walking out, he says... "Take care." I hateeee The Take Care. More than I hate Trader Joe's any time after 11 AM. More than my disdain for voicemails that say "Hey, it's me. Call me back." The Take Care is something you say to a third-tier acquaintance that you run into at the bodega. The Take Care is like saying, "Well, I probably won't see you for a while, crazy bitch. But I hope you don't break the other foot." Not me, buddy. No way. Boys and girls, please take note and just wipe The Take Care from your vocabulary. Instead, let's go with The See You Later. Even if it's a complete lie, at least it leaves you with some sort of self-dignity.

Polygamy

2009-04-20T18:09:51Z

Being single for a while I was able to understand what it meant to be very happy and very single. Of course a significant other is best. But, only, is a significant relationship significant when there is a clear understanding of my needs (television and naps) and my desires (television and naps.) Given these needs and desires I started brainstorming about what kind of relationship would best serve them, and it became clear! Polygamy! And this is why: While I wasn't raised in a polygamous family and I am not Mormon. Probably a Jew at best. I sometimes think how lovely it would be that if I had a husband he should also have an additional couple of wives. If we had enough money to go on trips to white sand beaches and fancy parties then I would like to be the main wife. I'd do the social things: go to the beach and the fancy parties and on summer long vacations to the Hamptons If we didn't have money I'd prefer to be next in line and skip out on PTA meetings, potlucks, his company picnics and other low-brow affairs. I would also have to be the prettiest. At times I can become jealous when competing against more attractive women. Yeah, sure, I get jealous and being a green-eyed monster lady polygamy may not seem like an ideal situation. However, I believe that the benefits of this arrangement would far outweigh the occasional hair pulling and sexy pillow fights that would most likely occur. I am certain that in a family with a couple of wives the wives aren't expected to work. That would bring too much attention to the situation. They probably have to sit inside, in air conditioning, napping and reading and mostly watching television. They are probably allowed netflix subscriptions (maybe even with individual queues) along with US weekly subscriptions and plenty of high-speed internet. Anything to keep them inside. I imagine that being married to a man who was also married to two other woman you would get at least three nights to yourself without a husband in bed taking covers. No man-farts on the nights off. Then, of course, you would be able to fart as loudly or as silently as you wish. You of course would only have to deal with waking up to a boner in your back once or twice a week. Almost 4 days per week you could be alone in your house doing whatever you like without judgment. Your husband would be with one of the other wives. He wouldn't be there to ask you what you did all day (watched Real housewives of New York City) what you read (US Weekly) how you slept (18 hours) or if you're drunk (probably). Maybe a part of your responsibility includes having kids. But I imagine that if your child ends up not as cute as you imagined or with red hair you can give it to another wife to care for. A wife that is a little lower on the food chain. This may all sound pretty terrible to some but I assure you that in my polygamous family all wives are still allowed to vote and can sit wherever they would like on a bus and never have to wear scarves over their heads (unless they want to). ---------------------------------------------------- Meet The Author Why, Hello. I'm Molly, I'm a writer. I'm a triathelete an avid television watcher and a wine expert drinker. Now I know that you're asking yourself, "When and where can we get together to watch television, drink wine, and date exclusively" Well the answer is I'm sorry. You can't. I'm taken and I only share my wine with the boyfriend and my soulmate dog, Ferdinand. That doesn't mean that I don't think I'm an expert on dating, not dating, being single, being really single, men, and women . So that's what you can expect from me. What you can't expect from me: inoffensive or scientific pieces. So if that's what you're looking for I am asking you not to read my stuff.

Ignighter's Top 5 Reasons to Attend DanceGiving

2009-04-21T14:53:38Z

Philanthropic entertainment has hit the scene as the next It Thing in entertainment. Breast Cancer? Throw a party. Lacrosse programs for inner city kids? Throw a party. I lost all my furniture because my roommate just moved out? Throw a... just kidding. Now, I propose that this next It Thing in entertainment combine with the next It Thing in dating. That's right philanthropic entertainment provides a fabulous venue for your first (or second or third) group date. If you're going to drop a pretty penny on a night out, it very well should benefit a worthy cause. On Thursday, May 12, I encourage your group to gather at the Tribeca Rooftop for the Business Council for Peace's annual FUNraiser, DanceGiving. I know that for some people, the thought of a dance-a-thon produces hives worse than the acne you had during prom round 1. But this really will be a spectacular event. Why should you go? 1. 100% of the proceeds benefit BPeace, an international non-profit that helps women entrepreneurs in post-conflict countries. Thanks to their efforts, the growth rates of participants' businesses have nearly tripled their countries' GDP growth rates. In sum, they have pumped over $2.7 million into the Afghan and Rwandan economies. 2. It's at the Tribeca rooftop. 3. You don't have to dance, but just in case, instructors from the Bollywood Funk studio will be on hand to teach you some moves. 4. You can watch your friends fall on their asses when the lessons don't work. 5. They will have games, raffles and prizes that include airline tickets, hotel rooms, jewelry, cameras, restaurant dinners and tickets to David Letterman, who did, in fact, lend the inspiration for this list. In case you were wondering. To attend, you can purchase tickets for $275 a piece, a table of 6 for $1500, or you can earn free tickets via one of several fundraising options. Fundraising on your own may seem like a lot of work, but BPeace guides you through the entire process. Boogie on over to their website for more information. DanceGiving will be a lovely evening for a great cause. And what better way to bond on your group date other than to make fools of yourselves by trying to learn bhangra? Jai ho.

Slowing It Down

2009-04-22T14:00:00Z

I have this problem (among many), one that I can't imagine is entirely unique to me. Namely, I sabotage every dating situation I get into where I think I might like the girl. And it's not like I'm doing stupid things either, like being mean, ignoring their advances or being unable to keep my facts straight if I happen to be dating multiple girls at once (though I'll admit, just once I'd like to purposefully mix up my facts, if for no other reason than to gauge the reaction). No, I seem to be sabotaging things by being too eager, too anxious. Finding a girl I actually like seems to happen as often as Britney Spears gets touted for her high intelligence quotient, so when I do actually come across someone who holds my interest, can anyone really blame me for getting excited? Apparently, the answer is yes. Because every single time, without fail, I end up wanting to see the girl too often, and she ends up bolting for the door. Apparently, I'm still unable to grasp the difference between dating in college and in the real world (not that I actually "dated" in college, but you get my drift). In college, you see your friends, your crushes and your hookups every day. They're almost unavoidable. I still haven't gotten used to the fact that it's OK if you only see someone once a week, or even once every two weeks at the outset of dating. Or maybe I just wish I was back in college. Don't we all? The shame of it is, I should totally learn from the myriad of dating situations in which I don't like the girl. In those cases, where quite frankly I couldn't care less if I ever saw the girl again, I act very blase about the whole thing to the point where the apathy is literally oozing out of my pores. Wouldn't you know it... those girls can't get enough of me. It's as if the very notion that I'm simply not interested either never even crosses their minds, or is simply too shocking to the system to be believed. Then again, I'm sure I'm not helping matters by continually acquiescing to their sexual advances. Either way, I've never really been able to reconcile the fact that I come off as more attractive to girls when I don't care about them at all. Where's the logic in this? What good can possibly come out of slobbering around like a dog begging to be taken for a walk after someone who's not interested in you? Because it certainly doesn't work the same way in reverse (for me, anyway). Granted, I absolutely enjoy a good chase, but I get the hint when I'm being blown off, and I pick up and move on to the next one (or five). Hell, forget being blown off... I've even been known to move on if I even catch a whiff of disinterest. Then again, maybe it's not about reconciliation. Clearly, I'll never fully (or even remotely) understand the female mind, so all I really can do is apply the lessons from what I've observed. And that means tempering my emotions, and perhaps slowing down the dating process to the point where I'm not frothing at the mouth at the expectation of a quality date or getting physical with someone I like (probably a good idea). And despite that I often desire to hit you ladies over the head with the figurative hammer, I also know that at some point in this experiment of trial and error that I like to call dating, some girl out there is going to be wise beyond her years enough to say, "hey... here's a guy I like who actually likes me back. What a novel idea... maybe I should explore this!" And in the meantime, I can take solace in the fact that there remain plenty of girls out there with whom total apathy is still a viable strategy to keep me busy.

Top 5 Ways to Thwart a Period Hookup

2009-04-23T14:37:12Z

What's the best way to tell a guy you have just started dating that you have your period? Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather not say anything he might actually interpret as "Hey, dude, I have blood flowing out of my vag." To equip 20something women everywhere with arsenal of ways in which to communicate our handicap, I bring you 2009's Top 5 Ways to Thrwart Period Hookup... a collection of humorous, hopefully helpful lines that have actually come out of one or another of my friends' mouths. 1. Oozing seduction whisper "I don't think this is a good time." Just don't say this until you've left the bar. Don't want anyone getting confused. 2. Play prude. Just don't do this if you've already had sex. Otherwise, you will be the worst of the worst...an Indian Giver. 3. Convince him your Spanx and rainboots are hot. Refuse to take them off. 4. Just don't say anything and let him find your tampon string. Whoops. 5. "I reeeaaally don't think you want to do that." It brings humor into the situation and could perhaps get you at least a cuddle. 6. Be honest. We can all only hope to be so lucky as my friend, who, upon telling her boyfriend that she has her period, usually receives this response: "I don't care."

Spring Dumpage

2009-04-24T14:36:20Z

Now that it is officially beginning to feel like spring I can't wait to get through it. Not because I love summer (in fact now that there are no summer breaks, I hate it. There is no use for it. I hate the heat) I can't wait to get through spring because spring makes me anxious. It is break up season. I am constantly telling my very lucky boyfriend that everyone breaks up right before prom. I am then reminded that we are adults and don't have prom and then he is reminded that he doesn't get me. About every couple I know is having problems or breaking up. One of my best friends got the line that I am pretty sure 100 percent of males have said, I just can't NOT be selfish right now. But seriously, why does everyone break up before prom? After I finished googling, Is my boyfriend Selfish? I thought I'd google spring-time break ups. After a few attempts (spring time break up, why do people break up in spring, dumped spring, dump + prom, etc.) All the evidence I gathered was tween television show descriptions. I received many episode recaps from Zoey 101 and Mary Kate and Ashley's amazing show, So Little time. Maybe my boyfriend is right, without a prom we have nothing to worry about. Summer break isn't coming so we aren't headed far away to sleep away camp or to a summer job life guarding. And Sadly, we aren't starting college in the fall. Is the one benefit of my advanced age that I am too old to be dumped in time for summer? I hope so.

A Cry for Transparency

2009-04-27T18:49:18Z

A few weeks ago, a lone man approached my girlfriends and I at a bar and delivered the kind of pick-up line that never leads to anything more satisfying than, say, soggy bread. We mumbled thanks and held fast to our circle. "Man, why you gotta be so cold?" he said. "Why do women have to be so cold? I don't even want anything from you! I'm gay!" Comforted that he did not want only booty, I explained to him that years of dishonesty and douchebaggery had created a veritable sexual chasm between men and women. After hearing over and over about that guy that cheats on his girlfriend throughout every year of a five year relationship, about that hockey team that spies through their teammates' door while he's having sex, about that other guy who will bang a girl, not call for two weeks, and then stalk her when he decides he wants some ass again...well, women have their guard up. And, I explained to him, it does not help when a stroll around the Internet reveals publications like Askmen.com's guide on how to be a player. Lure a woman in with not-too-private dates, occasional, great sex and the perfect sweet nothing and BAM! A constant rotation of vaginas. Spreading the act of playing like the gospel does not bode well with us. Because you know what? We just tell our friends. And then we all become more guarded. And then you will have to work even harder to get laid. It's really a lose-lose situation. Now, perhaps myself, my six closest girlfriends and any girl I've ever had the acquaintance of, have just run into the wrong ones, I told him. Perhaps a player posse gives the rest of you an unfair rep. But such is the case. They are more vocal. They are who we see. It only takes one division to bring down the whole bank. This is why, I told him, I think things like online dating have really taken off. People don't sign up on dating websites for sex. They have other sites for that. Instead, dating sites hold troves of people that have already made themselves a little vulnerable, that say "I'm really interested in meeting someone." When a man sees you across the bar, however, he ain't thinking about how interesting you could be to talk to. And so I wrapped up my personal gospel to this man. He showed empathy and compassion, and I felt pretty good about my new bosom buddy who would hopefully spread the word amongst his straighter friends. Just as I stopped to take a sip of my drink, he leaned on the bar and smiled at me. "By the way. I lied," he said. "I'm straight." *speaking of douchebags, a friend of Ignighter has embarked on a quest to become the Internet's #1 douchebag. Help him out here.

With A Little Help From Our Friends - Part 1: Safer, Less Awkward, More Fun... Um Yes Please

2009-04-28T15:00:50Z

Note from the Editor: If you were a frequent reader of our Blog, chances are that you fell in love with a female group who actually chronicled their dating lives in NYC along with their discovery and adoption of Ignighter.com. These lovely ladies were writing about their experiences a few months ago, before the Ignighter Magazine existed and now we are bringing Good Looking Out back by popular demand. To bring all of our new Magazine Readers (and there are a lot of you!) up to speed, we're going to start by republishing the first few posts of the With a Little Help From our Friends series. After that, we'll get right back into the swing of things by adding all new, never before seen, posts from Good Looking Out to the Mag on a regular basis. Now this announcement comes with a small disclaimer: These first few posts were written before the new version of Ignighter was released (a few weeks ago) and new, awesome functionality was introduced along with it. So don't be confused if in the first couple of posts, you see references to functions on Ignighter that are no longer there. Read it anyway. You'll quickly learn that these girls are awesome and you'll be all caught up for there new stuff! --------------------------------------------------- Today marks the first in an exciting new blog series at Ignighter. A few friends of the Ignighter Guys finally decided to start using the site and they've graciously offered to document their experiences on this very blog. If you've been hesistant to sign up or you've had trouble convincing your friends to join your group, hopefully this very real chronicle from some very real ladies will help clarify what an Ignighter experience is like and help you make the decision to join (or not join). So without further ado, I turn it over to the ladies and their introductory post: You've probably seen us walking through Union Square and thought to yourself, "what could possibly be so funny?" The truth is nothing and everything is funny to two girls who met in the 6th grade when Leonardo DiCaprio was the hotness (still is) and we knew every single line from Empire Records (still do). We've been inseparable since then, except when we were separated after 8th grade when one of us moved away. Sadness. After spending high school and college in different cities, we finally reunited on the streets of NYC (but never above 14th street). Over our years apart, we collected an intricate web of characters who thankfully all ended up on this most fabulous island. The post-college pre-life void (henceforth referred to as The Void) provided many opportunities for all of us to hook up, break up, make up, and six-degrees-of-separation our way through our immediate pool of friends. We love them, this random mix from middle school, high school, college, camp, and work so much that we rarely meet anyone new... and we never thought we'd need to. Alas, the whole turning 25 thing sort of freaked us out. What happens post-Void? A lot of our friends are settling down, while some are still partying like it's freshman year. We don't quite know where to place ourselves. We're single, but online dating really isn't cool enough for us (Sorry if we offend. Actually, we tried Match.com for a month, but we weren't in NYC so it really doesn't count!). So we're ready to mix it up. New York has so much untapped potential, but how do we... um, you know... tap that? Haha. Our friends started this online site that seems not as cheesy as anything else we've ever heard of. It sort of replicates what happens on those great random NYC nights when you and your girls go out and meet a really fun group of guys to entertain you for a while. So we're going to try it and be your guide through this brave new world of group dating. We're going to bring this up with some of our girlfriends to see who is down to do this with us and we'll let you know how it goes. So here's hoping there's a group of guys out there who want to hang out with girls who love laughing, movies from the late 90s, and laying out our adventures for all to read on the Internet.

With A Little Help From Our Friends - Part 2: It's Tricky to Rock A Rhyme

2009-04-29T14:02:49Z

Note from the Editor: If you were a frequent reader of our Blog, chances are that you fell in love with a female group who actually chronicled their dating lives in NYC along with their discovery and adoption of Ignighter.com. These lovely ladies were writing about their experiences a few months ago, before the Ignighter Magazine existed and now we are bringing Good Looking Out back by popular demand. To bring all of our new Magazine Readers (and there are a lot of you!) up to speed, we're going to start by republishing the first few posts of the With a Little Help From our Friends series. After that, we'll get right back into the swing of things by adding all new, never before seen, posts from Good Looking Out to the Mag on a regular basis. Now this announcement comes with a small disclaimer: These first few posts were written before the new version of Ignighter was released (a few weeks ago) and new, awesome functionality was introduced along with it. So don't be confused if in the first couple of posts, you see references to functions on Ignighter that are no longer there. Read it anyway. You'll quickly learn that these girls are awesome and you'll be all caught up for there new stuff! --------------------------------------------------- Yay! We found our group and are ready to tackle the profile. For the sake of this social experiment, we (and our potential dates out there) shall remain blog-nonymous. Here's the goal: Come across as being awesome, attract males, and find pictures of ourselves where no one has closed eyes/shots in hands/friends making obscene gestures in the background, etc. #1 The group name Things we are not: Sexy Sistahs, Devilish Divas, NYCBabes08. Things we are: adorable, sarcastic, adventurous, and of course, modest. It is an intense creative process to come up with a name accurately representing multiple people but we've gone with "Good Looking Out." Get it? Cuz we're good... looking... and we like to go out? Okay, moving on. #2 Where you know each other from Do you have a while? Let's just say we started out as friends, and friends of friends and now we're all just friends. #3 Some of our common interests are Hmmm… to tell the truth or not tell the truth? Ok truth. Our common interests are: eating pizza, watching an entire season of a television show in one day, liquor. Fake interests that we tell other people we like so as to seem normal: sports (spectator and participatory), snorkeling, hobbies, etc. Our profile will strike a good balance between the two, and therefore be mostly accurate and trustworthy. #4 Assign each group member a yearbook superlative (Great question!!!) Here's a collection of some of ours: "Best Party Promoter" "Most Likely To Save the World" "Most Likely to Star on a Reality Show" "Most Likely to Pen Their Memoirs" #5 Some things we spend a lot of time talking about are Again, truth? We hate to sound trivial, but don't want to sound like smarty pantses know-it-alls either. We talk about what most 25 year olds talk about: work (lack of, misery over, ambitions for), boys (lack of, misery over, ambitions for), tv shows, hopes and dreams and butterflies and stuff… Perhaps on our real post we'll make some allusion to caring about world events and culture. #6 Some things we like to do together are We enjoy sitting outside at restaurants because it is always, maybe, definitely, the last time you'll be able to do it this year. We also enjoy using expired student IDs to get discount admission to museums. Additionally, we enjoy lazing about in parks and on couches and such. So, this process had us cracking up and we discovered even more things we had in common! We will put up our REAL profile on the Ignighter site this week, but this post was a great exercise that got our creative juices flowing. While you're checking out the groups that are up you can poss try to ID us… and then we'll have to kill you. Now, get together with your pals, fix yourselves some cocktails, and get to work on your profile! Good Looking Out ?

With A Little Help From Our Friends - Part 3: Fun with Features

2009-04-30T14:20:06Z

Note from the Editor: If you were a frequent reader of our Blog, chances are that you fell in love with a female group who actually chronicled their dating lives in NYC along with their discovery and adoption of Ignighter.com. These lovely ladies were writing about their experiences a few months ago, before the Ignighter Magazine existed and now we are bringing Good Looking Out back by popular demand. To bring all of our new Magazine Readers (and there are a lot of you!) up to speed, we're going to start by republishing the first few posts of the With a Little Help From our Friends series. After that, we'll get right back into the swing of things by adding all new, never before seen, posts from Good Looking Out to the Mag on a regular basis. Now this announcement comes with a small disclaimer: These first few posts were written before the new version of Ignighter was released (a few weeks ago) and new, awesome functionality was introduced along with it. So don't be confused if in the first couple of posts, you see references to functions on Ignighter that are no longer there. Read it anyway. You'll quickly learn that these girls are awesome and you'll be all caught up for there new stuff! --------------------------------------------------- Everybody’s favorite Ignighteresses are back at it with another post as they dive into using Ignighter’s fun connection features. Check out the latest in their Ignighter adventures: So we are getting familiar with the site, tweaking our profile and checking out the groups. We've even exchanged a few messages with other groups. What we've found is that some of the features on the site could have been quite useful to us in the past! Not sure what we mean? On the Benefits of a Profile... We once met a young man in a bar. He was charming in a sort of weird and awkward way, and for some reason in our drunken state we kind of dug that he was wearing his sunglasses at night. We thought he was funny, and when he asked us out for dinner later that week, we thought, why not? As the days went on, we started to mildly panic. What if we don't know what he looks like without his sunglasses? What if he looks hideous without them? Well, the good news (and bad, obviously), was that he did, in fact, show up to dinner wearing said sunglasses- and he never took them off, citing "social experimentation" as the reason. Since this guy took the express train from Quirky Town to Freak-ville, there was clearly not going to be a layover in Bone City. Perhaps, had he a handy online profile to reference, we would have known other important facts about him, such as his lack of alcohol consumption, and philosophies on "minimalism". We hate minimalism. Our philosophy is everything, all of it. So, hopefully by us being as honest as possible, we will meet other guys like us, instead of ones who are clearly from another planet. On "Digging"... We've been told we were "dug" in a variety of ways. First grade, when Bobby Simone kicked us in the shins on the playground at recess. Fifth grade, when Garrett Norris told us we looked so much better now that we got our braces on and we cried hysterically. Eighth grade, when one of the Steinberg twins (we never could tell them apart), invited us into the closet for seven minutes. High school, when the following deep dialogue took place: Him: "Haven't you always wanted to kiss someone in the rain?" Us: "Um, yeah, sure..." Him: "Well, it's raining." AND SCENE. College, when no explicit expression of digging was necessary- but many, many shots of So Co lime were. And now the Void, where it's all text messages and facebooks. Need we say more? Clicking and letting someone know you are into them saves your legs (and ego) from bruises, puts an end to emo conversations, and spares your liver from suffering for your bad decisions . We dig the "dig". We're quite looking forward to the "posting our plans" feature, which we plan to use right after some of us return from our tropical, warm weather vacations and some of us visit family in sunny Florida, and some of us have to work and reorganize our closets and will have JUST AS MUCH FUN as some of us!!! Until then, Happy Holidays to all of you! We love you and can't wait to see you in 2009. Good looking out ?

With a Little Help From Our Friends: Part 4 - An Apology to our Fan for the Seasonal Affect Disorder

2009-05-01T14:12:39Z

When wintry winds blow through the city Grey skies hover overhead There are certain things that can't be done When we spend all day in bed The thought of getting bundled up And wading through the slush Just to mail our Netflix back Is nearly much too much Pizza and cupcakes beckon For them, we'll take a cab 3 blocks down But we'll make any excuse not to take off our Uggs To go for "cocktails/happy hour/birthday/wine bar/engagement party/brunch with parents" uptown When friends all Facebook wall and text "We miss you come out with us!" We say we're coming down with the flu But we're just watching Rock of Love Bus And then on those nights when we finally go out Surely before the night ends We find ourselves stumbling home with strangers Or worse! Making out with our friends So you can see that we've lapsed on our "dating" Just as we've faltered a bit on the blog But sure as the leaves reemerge in the spring We're coming out of our romantical fog

A Seriously Blind Date

2009-05-04T15:05:52Z

I'm going on a first date tonight, which will mark my first first date since late-January, and I'll admit to being a tad nervous. Not because it's a first date... hell, I've been on well over a hundred of those in the last three-plus years (many of which probably can't even be classified as first dates as there was no second), and I like to think I'm quite good on first dates (and thereby go downhill from there). No, I'm apprehensive because of all those first dates, this is quite possibly the blindest date I've ever been on. As in, I know nothing about this girl other than her name and email, her neighborhood, and the fact that she's friends with the person who set us up. I haven't even seen a picture of her, unless you count the tiny Facebook thumbnail photo that you can barely see when someone's chosen to keep their profile private. So whereas I used to hope that a girl I met off a dating website looked within three years and twenty pounds (ten if I'm lucky) of her pictures, tonight I'm resigned to hoping I can stand to look at my date long enough to put down at least one drink. The last time I went on a date this blind (ironically the last date I went on at all), my mother, who I swear doubles as my pimp, had worked with another woman to successfully broker a date for me and her friend's daughter, who happened to be a former Olympian. Notwithstanding the fact that this woman and my mother live 1,500 miles away from New York, I agreed to the date, in part because I thought it'd be cool to take out someone who had competed in the Olympics, but mainly because I trusted my mother's instincts. Surely, she wouldn't set me up with someone "less than desirable," or at the very least, had seen a picture, right? Umm, wrong. Unfortunately, while this girl was very sweet albeit a total goody-goody (would you expect any less from an Olympian not named Michael Phelps or Bode Miller?), her Olympic sport of choice was apparently Greco-Roman wrestling, light heavy-weight division. Ok, ok, that's really mean. She wasn't actually a wrestler... but let's just say that I wouldn't want her pinning me if she was. I mean, I'm certainly not doing any modeling here, but I like to think I'm a fairly good-looking guy, and besides, any blind date requires at least a modicum of physical attraction, and hopefully far more than that. Regrettably, in this particular case, physical attraction waited outside while I had a couple drinks and played nice for a decent enough amount of time. Either way, it was abundantly clear that my dear mom failed to do her due diligence, and going forward I swore that I would go about finding my own dates. But here we are, three months and exactly zero "real" dates later (I say real because it's not like I haven't, you know, "seen" girls in the interim), and I'm headed out on another super blind date. This time around, I'm putting my faith in a new friend who swears she's a pro at this matchmaking thing, and the truth is, I've got nothing to lose. At best, I fall madly in love (even though I swore last week I wouldn't do that anymore), or the date goes the way of the very first New York date I ever went on (a rather ridiculous one night stand, which I will most definitely rehash here at some point). And at worst, I bolt after one drink and then playfully ridicule my friend for apparently not liking me very much. What will likely happen, however, is that it will fall somewhere in the middle. We'll get along well enough to see each at least once more, and then I'll get to partake in that ridiculous game of figuring out when I'm supposed to call her/ask her out again (another topic which I'll undoubtedly jump on in the near future), which is followed by freaking out wondering if I got in touch too quickly or waited too long. Dating... it's faaantastic!

Relationship Jeans

2009-05-05T14:41:11Z

I was speaking with a friend today who recently got out of a relationship and in turn lost her favorite jeans. I too once lost my favorite jeans to a relationship turned sour, and along with that some integrity. So obviously I knew what she was going through. And it got me thinking that besides jeans you really lose a lot of things when you get out of a relationship. Such as: dignity (they definitely saw you cryâ€¦ and in some cases beg, repeatedly), boning, the ability to go to the bar you always frequented without running into the ex with their new drunk significant other You may have lost a couple coffee shops too, you definitely lost his friends that had turned into your friends, his friends that you secretly wanted to have sex with, and his wife that used to be your friend (in some cases, I hear.) The confusing part about all this is that you lose so much when you leave a relationship but you donâ�™t really gain that much when you first enter one. You mostly just gain weight because suddenly you have someone to eat dinner with, and you might also gain a couple of STDs when they convince you that theyâ�™re definitely not sleeping with anyone else and you should stop using condoms. You definitely gain some bloat from holding in all your farts when you hang out. But you certainly donâ�™t gain your favorite jeans back. So how is there so much to lose at the end when you gained so little at the beginning? Tricky little paradox huh?

I Snog, and I'm Proud of It

2009-05-06T15:02:30Z

In Britain, every first date is a group date. Instead of a solo first outing, they go out with their friends, snog and figure it out later. (Snog means make-out, or, if we want to get specific with Urban Dictionary, to interface passionately with another being, creating a field of physical obsession and focused arousal centered on the lips, mouth and tongue. Totally written by a Brit.) Anyway, my British friend, who has lived in America for the last 5 years, cannot, for the life of him, figure out why Americans would subject themselves to the awkward torture of a first date. At first, I balked at his notion. Snogging before a first date sets a precedence of disrespect. Plus, its so passe. I left snogging on the dance floor of Sigma Chi, thank you very much. And then I realized that was a blatant lie. Since graduation, my first dates have gotten nothing but big, fat fail whales, and instead, I go out with my friends and snog. In fact, I snog the same people that I did in college. Furthermore, the most mature relationship of my dating career was with someone who is in still in school. And do you know what we did when we met? We snogged. In fact, we snoggered, which I just decided will be the next Urban Dictionary entry for had sex. We were together for 8 months, and I do not believe that my decision to snogger him had an impact on our relationship. As much as we (and by we, I mean the majority of the post-grad female population) like to believe that graduation puts an end to drunken hookups and opens up the world of traditional American courtship, this is simply not the case. Graduation gives you a piece of paper, not the charisma and confidence to slide your way through a first date. Thats why the best first dates still usually involve buckets of beer or martinis, aka shots for adults. So take it from a snogging convert, Ignighter and the Brits are on to something. Snogging does not set the precedent for your relationship, the person whom you snog does. This will be the case whether or not you have an awkward, solo first date or whether you choose to snog. So take a shot and have at it. Ill be the one in the corner this weekend.