He’s played a range of characters: from brusque hotelier, to medieval madman and even Lucy Liu’s father in Charlie’s Angels 2: Full Throttle, one of the best worst movies ever made (Hello, Demi in mink and lingerie!). His career spans five decades, in which he walked sillily, made fun of the French and generally stood at least two feet taller than all of his contemporaries. That man, of course, is the inimitable Mr John Cleese.

We were fortunate enough to speak to Mr Cleese about his most recent (and possibly most unlikely) foray: anti-beer ambassador. Providing the voiceover for the Canadian Club “Beer Fairies” television commercial, he aims to encourage men to give up hops and yeast in exchange for CC and dry. He said, “What the campaign is simply saying is don’t just walk into a pub or a bar and ask for beer because that’s what you did yesterday—try different things.”

Unfortunately, Mr Cleese’s pub days are over, what with every drunkard knowing exactly who the 6’5” comic is. He said, “The truth is I don’t go into pubs or bars much myself. I don’t want to get shoved up against a wall by someone who wants to tell me what his favourite Monty Python sketch is. The problem about being a celebrity is that there’s nothing wrong with the particular conversation, it’s just that you’ve had it a hundred thousand times—it’s just very predictable.”

And it’s from that predictability that the campaign was instigated after a Newspoll study of 1,000 Australian women found that 57% of those surveyed believe that beer is the most boring and predictable alcoholic beverage that a man could choose to drink at a bar. Furthermore, 68% of females associate beer bellies with men who drink beer and 77% stated that they dislike it when a man has one. Mr Cleese said, “It’s quite useful for an Australian male to know that’s what 50% of Australian women are thinking.”

But why the sudden exodus from beer? “Basically we’re saying to people is try it,” Mr Cleese said. “There’s nothing wrong with beer. Paul Newman who was my great hero was a great fan of beer—he preferred it to wine.”

These days, Mr Cleese says rosé is his preferred tipple: “As I get older, I can’t drink wine anymore, so I drink rosés. My girlfriend is actually a huge fan and I’ve come to love them. And now that I’m basically a resident of Monaco, I have the best rosés in the world just up the coast coming out of Provence.” Lucky for some.

Although, he’s no stranger to mixing it up: “If I’m going to go into a restaurant and I think I’m going to have a couple of glasses of wine, instead of buying half a bottle I’ll look at the wines by the glass and choose two different ones. I have them at the same time and go between the two because that keeps my palate more alive than if I’m just drinking the same thing the whole time.” And we thought we were the only ones who did this.

Mr Cleese applies the same logic to keeping it interesting with the opposite sex: “I think curiousity is a nice virtue—“ he said, “—trying different things. I love lobster, for example, but I don’t want it three days in a row.” He recommends that Australian men should “keep changing taste, because the way the human perceptual system works, is that it habituates. If you sit down and there’s a drill in the distance, ten minutes later you’ve tuned it out.” He also says the same theory can be applied to drinking. “If you’re drinking a lot of beer, you don’t really taste it after a time. What I’m saying to beer drinkers is to try some different things.”

And whilst Mr Cleese talks about change positively, he does possess some strong views on tradition. Upon being asked which nation he found to be the most chivalrous, surprisingly, his countrymen didn’t make the cut: “The politest people are certainly not the British, or certainly not in London. London is no longer an English town; it’s so cosmopolitan and there’s no real dominant culture there at all, and a lot of the people there are not particularly polite in the way they used to be fifty years ago.”

Then who makes the grade? Mr Cleese said, “If you go down to the West Country, to my favourite town, Bath, there you’ll find people are very polite.” And the most chivalrous? “I would have said the Swedish are the most polite, the least likely to intrude because they’re slightly introverted. It’s very comfortable in Sweden.” And what about those who could work on their approach? “The Americans tend to be a little bit pushy partly because they are so impressed by celebrity that it’s embarrassing. It’s kind of mindless really. I mean, they come up and make such a fuss of you and I want to say to them, ‘I didn’t invent the cure for cancer—I’m just a comic.’”

Fortunately, we Australians received a good rap, or potentially because we happened to be the ones speaking to him at the time. He said, “The Aussies are great because they’re just so friendly. The friendliness that Bill Bryson writes about in his book about in Australia—he’s right—they’re the friendliest people in the world. The other nice thing about them is that there’s no bullshit. They come up and say, ‘Thanks for making me laugh,’ or ‘Can I shake your hand?’ Very simple things like that are very heart-warming; but because there’s no bullshit, they don’t go on about it. It’s a very simple, straightforward transaction.”

But what about current trends? While Mr Cleese might be in his seventies, he has always been known for being impeccably dressed and groomed; and most prevalently for being moustachioed. He said, “I’ve always been prejudiced in favour of them. I was very, very fond of my dad; he was a very kind, and funny and sweet guy, and he had a moustache.”

And it’s of late that moustaches have made their way into the fore with the current hipster trend. While Mr Cleese was unaware of what a hipster is, he bellowed at our description of the “supposedly super trendy who listen to obscure music and dress in a homogenous manner.” Despite his recent introduction to the term, Mr Cleese had some strong views on style: “I’m not terribly impressed by anyone who is interested in trends. I take my exemplar of elegance from somebody like Cary Grant and others who made films in the fifties and sixties.”

When it comes to clothing, he mentioned his preference for tailoring, citing London tailors, Anderson and Sheppard as his go-to outfitters. “That’s what impresses me. Some of those beautiful things are timeless.” He continued, “When people are very impressed by style, I’m very puzzled by that. I think there’s a lot of truth in the phrase ‘fashion victim’. The idea that you have to keep changing clothes because they have gone out of style seems to be absolutely ridiculous. It’s like saying Beethoven wasn’t a very good composer, or Monet has gone out of style; we don’t like his paintings anymore. Certain things just have utter quality to them—that’s what we should be following, not what the fashion houses are trying to sell us next.”

And while he’s been known to cross-dress for comedy sketches, there is one trend that eludes him: men in skirts. His verdict? “No, I don’t get that bit.” And while he was perplexed, he had other insight to offer, “I don’t get the fact that some people dress up, I believe, in rubber to get sexually excited. I guess whatever turns you on …” That’s right, John—whatever turns you on.

For those who are partial to the Audrey Hepburn era outing at the park, or the arm-in-arm romanticised amble around the lake, this one screams old school reminiscence and will tickle your tonsils.

A Melbourne-based design company that stakes its reputation on upcycling and making the old new again, Son Valise, fills a distinct void in musical paraphernalia by offering quality and creativity that seemed to have died decades ago; if good sound quality existed then.

Their creations are a hark back to the days of old when manners, white gloves and powdered noses were in and high quality audio and low-rise jeans were out. Quaint and creative combinations of both vintage suitcases, wicker picnic baskets, briefcases and bags combined with recycled speakers once dubbed ready to die are reborn with a creative touch as JukeCases; the perfect accompaniment to any picnic.

Simply add iPhones, pods, laptops and the like and the most civil and warming of outdoor activities can simply transform into the most debaucherous and uncouth of outdoor park parties in a cinch. Be it a cinch done in style with a hint of old world charm and really fat beats.

Have you ever woken up and felt like an inkjet printer? No, you say? Well give this a listen and let me convince you otherwise:

Yes it’s a strange comparison, but there are days when the magenta cartridge runs out and you can’t help but feel a bit greige. That’s grey plus beige, in case the latest must-have colour has eluded you. Well, now the clever folks at the home of combined budget and quality merchandise, Uniqlo, put the pop back in your step.

Their Wake Up iPhone app collaboration with artist and creator of such musical gems as above, Cornelius (Keigo Oyamada) and composer, Yoko Kanno is a melodic alarm clock with a difference. Changing according to the weather forecast, you can be serenaded awake with a musical rousing that is outside Apple’s 20 nominated and highly annoying ringtones.

Australian Mother’s Day is just around the corner and it’s your chance to show your mum just how fab she is. So, this year, why not get her a gift that actually means something, or at least means something more than “It’s Mother’s Day, so I bought you these choccies from Coles.”

To help you out, The Art of Gift Giving has collated some fantastic goodies filled with mum-friendly symbology, ripe for the picking!

Carnations & Rosemary

Legend has it that carnations, the official flower of Mother’s Day, sprung from Mary’s tears on the way to Calvary. Whereas, rosemary will promote mental stimulation, combat fatigue, enhance concentration and logical thinking. It also fights procrastination and forgetfulness, as well as being a perfect scent for pampering … what more could Mum want!

1. Johanna Flower Box Arrangement, AUD$89
2. Spoon Ring Vintage Carnation, AUD$63
3. Mother’s Day Rosemary Chalk Box, AUD$69.95
4. Kobo Candle Rosemary & Birch Candle, AUD$60

Cow

The cow symbolises motherhood, nourishment, abundance and Mother Earth. So let’s turn it into something for the home!

1. Cow Hide Bag, AUD$59.95
2. Cow Parade Mini Meditating Cow AUD$46
3. Cow Milk Bottle, AUD$24.95
4. Black & White Natural Cowhide Cushion, AUD$175

Swallow

The swallow bird was the ancient Egyptian symbol of motherhood. What were you thinking, dirtbag?

1. Cherry Blossom & Swallow Bird Leather iPhone Cover AUD$45
2. Sculpted Graphite Swallow, AUD$80
3. Vintage Inspired Whimsical Art Necklace, AUD$34
4. Swallow Tattoo Mirror, AUD$49.95

Two

In antiquity the number two was the attribute of the mother and the female principle  of marriage, motherhood and childbirth.

1. Bird Salt & Pepper Shakers, AUD$24.95
2. Set of Two Eiffel Tower Suitcases, AUD$119.90
3. Everlasting Double Pendant Set – Hand Stamped, AUD$377
4. Alimrose Apple Bookends, AUD$32.95

Bed

The bed represents renewal and pampering—and every mum deserves to be renewed and pampered.

1. You Are My Sunshine Cushion Pair, AUD$59
2. Breakfast in Bed PJ Set, AUD$69.90
3. KAS Aviary Quilt Cover Set, AUD$219.95
4. This Works Deep Sleep Pillow Spray, AUD$35

When I was an infant, I suspect I was weaned on champagne. While I wasn’t allowed Coca-Cola because it would rot my teeth, I suspect a piccolo of the good stuff was upturned, a rubber teat attached and a mild sprinkling tested on my mother’s wrist. While I’m hesitant to admit the holes in my hypothesis, I must concede that Child Protection would’ve relinquished my parents of the responsibility of raising a young fop and thrust me into the grubby mitts of cask wine drinkers. Quelle horreur !

While for some champagne is a birthright and its consumption and affectations are innate, for others more of an education is required. One champagne manufacturer is providing such a baccalaureate: the Champagne Protocoles de G.H.Mumm.

Both a Facebook and iPhone app that takes you through the 100 protocols through several drip-fed chapters, providing instruction on how best to be a champagne connoisseur and has a handy map feature to allow you to find your nearest stockist.

For example, heres how to sabre a bottle of champagne, G.H.Mumm Cordon Rouge style, of course.

Both apps are provide free of charge in the interest of global champagne appreciation and education. And of course, caution should always be exercised when sabring a bottle. If a sword makes you as timid as a virgin on her wedding night, enlist the services of your local amputee!

If you’re a bit of a hippy in a fur coat like me, it’s likely that you will have meddled with a bit of crystal in your past. No, not that kind of crystal, Jason Russell (allegedly), I’m talking about that agate that you find exclusively at wooOOOOOOooooooo stores as my grandmother liked to call them; or natural therapy joints for the uninitiated, usually named ‘Equilibrium’ or similar.

There’s a rock for every ailment, personality or physiological deficiency and mood, and just by carrying these on your person or sleeping with them under your pillow at night, they can bring enlightenment, motivation, healing and in some cases, out-of-body experiences. Then, of course, there’s drugs.

Usually, it’s a case of mind over matter, so if the psychosomatic placebo effect from a lump of tiger’s eye, rose quartz or amethyst brings good tidings for the rock bearer, then good luck to them, though, in some circles, this might be considered time to call the authorities and have that person sectioned or cast out as a witch.

If you’re not the barefoot kind, then maybe Kriss & Jules‘ jewellery range is a solution to all things enlightenment. Handmade in Bali using a combination of 925 silver (sterling, for you nostalgists), crystals, agates, hand-woven threads and handmade beading, they’re a masculine (but not limited to men) addition to your wrist. Just leave the hemp fisherman’s pants at home.

How would you like me to tell you that you were terrible in bed, had halitosis worse than a crack-addicted garlic farmer and your choice in footwear was less than desirable? Didn’t think so. Now what if someone who you once dated, no matter to what extent of humiliation could do the same and do it all with your consent? Why, that’s madness! Apparently not.

Australian website, WotWentWrong, is helping the dating impaired become precariously aware of their shortcomings in all affairs amour. A free web app, you can send a former date a low-key, not stalkerish at all message to request feedback on your performance. The recipient can choose to reply with a predefined list of options or can elaborate further. I wonder if comments on one’s masochism are included in the site’s next update.

See it in action below:

If you live in a rough area, chances are you know the versatility of the humble house brick. Informal coffee table? No problem. Home protection device? Excellent. A way of extracting the rent out of an irresponsible housemate? Perfect! Now you can add bookend to its list of uses.

Made in Melbourne from the discarded house bricks, Light Reading Melbourne is the cleverly named concept from Daryl Fitzgerald. Made to look like the more heavy of literary tomes, each harks the covers of some of the world’s most cherished stories and is suitably worn; each book is a trompe l’œil to show just how learned you actually are. Who needs a university degree in literature when you can quite literally beat someone into submission to appreciate your superior intellect.

As if the Internet wasn’t already ablaze with talk of Tupac Shakur’s holographic resurrection (gotta love an estate prepared to pimp out their deceased loved ones) at Coachella, 90s hiphop hype is at fever pitch. But what about poor old Snoop? His co-performance of the egregiously-spelt ”2 of Amerikaz Most Wanted” (Though, this came from a decade when bands named Boyz 2 Men) was outshone, as it were, by Tupac’s Princess Leia-like appearance.

Enough of the sob story, Snoop Dogg is one happy stoner who now has his own brand of rolling papers. It’s no surprise from a man who has never made any attempt to disguise his love for the munter’s hour—it’s always 4:20 somewhere in the world—and has put his name and MCing to most hiphop and pop artists’ tracks. Katy Perry featuring Snoop Dog? ¿Que? Oh well, a cheque’s a cheque.

However, one of the greatest things about Snoop’s latest foray into the domain of the blazed is his smokeable book, Rolling Words, designed by Pereira & O’Dell. Not only are the leaves of the book scrawled with Snoop’s musings, but they can be rolled then smoked with whatever might be one’s tipple. And what would a smokeable book be without a way of sparking up? It also comes with a strip along the spine for striking a match. Gangsta!

Check out Snoop spruiking his wares below and don’t blame us if you get a contact high:

Have you ever noticed what a bad wrap wolves have received in folklore? In the Three Little Pigs, the poor asthmatic wolf huffed and puffed his way into a cauldron wolf soup, which The Guardian has cleared up as an insurance scam by the pigs themselves. In Little Red Riding Hood the poor old wolf was so hungry he had to eat Grandma then dress in her clothes. I’m sure there’s a weird subset of pornography from Japan that does just this for the titillation of the perverse.

Then what about Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book? Old Akela got lumped with some snotty-nosed brat in a reed basket and then had his story bastardised by Lord Baden Powell for wargames thinly veiled as youth entertainment: Scouts. And how could we forget the children’s game of yore, “What’s the Time Mr Wolf?” Sneaking up on Mr Wolf like that; no wonder dinnertime’s his favourite time—kids are really annoying sometimes.

Although, perhaps if Mr Wolf had a Tokyoflash Japan watch, we’d be safe from his devouring and cross-dressing ways. Maybe not the most practical of timepieces, the Japanese brand’s offering should be viewed more as high-tech jewellery for your wrist. With many variations, the wearer has to learn to tell the time all over again, with an instruction booklet to decipher the display.

Using a combination of LCD and LED displays, each uses a different binary code that is challenging to learn, but places you in your own solo secret society. Case in point, what time does this watch say?

9:23, you say? Of course it does. diPerfect for your next hostage situation or Mensa convention.