Had Ernest Hemingway been alive today and penning a tome in between catching pigeons on the rooftops of Paris and drinking himself to death, maybe he’d notice that there was something different about his Moleskine. Then again, myopia and alcoholism do go hand in hand, so perhaps he’d mistake an embedded Lego brick for braille. What eight raised dots in a two-column, two-row formation mean to someone who reads with their hands will have to remain a mystery.

In the latest fun collaboration, Moleskine has paired with LEGO to produce a fun take on their legendary notebooks. With a Lego brick included, printed Lego men and stickers, it’s a nifty notepad for grown-ups and children alike. It’s available for a song (or a poorly-drafted short story) from Amazon.

With winter creeping up ever so slowly and the need for socks to again become the norm in foot fashion, an interesting mix of coffee culture meets the sodden cotton shrouds we wrap around our feet every day has come to light. Enter Longblack, New Zealand’s take on sleek, sophisticated and sexy apparel to jazz up what some consider the body’s sexiest asset: the feet.

Sleek, sophisticated and sexy are a far cry from what most in the western world would consider socks. Gone were the days of naming inanimate and the most physically unattractive of clothing or electronic products an enticing and sensually arousing entitlement.

Apparently not. That aside, however, the socks and their dub do make sense; they’re socks, they’re long and they’re black. Enlightened? Good.

Why exactly they have taken it upon themselves to cast into the minds of every long black coffee lover the stinking, wretched cotton sausages that absorb the most vile of foot sin is a mystery. But hey, it works for them and truth be known, it’s quite creative. As long as one is not considering the name of the sexy new foot pieces while sucking back coffee at a favourite cafe, one’s gag reflex shouldn’t kick in too immediately.

Long Black has too, been quite conniving in its packaging of the footwear to address the requirements of those podophobes among us. Should one detest the look, feel, smell or notion of socks, feet and all their encompassing foulness, the packaging is as deceptive as Jocelyn Wildenstein’s face, assuring one’s look is not tarnished by the stigma of sock shopping, while ensuring passers-by associate you with a visit to the local espresso joint rather than the truth of your actions.

The socks are a nice little addition to every sock-lover’s drawer, as well. Their softness-to-stretchiness ratio is impressive, as is the quaint design on shaft of each of the appendages. Even if you’re not such a sock fan, the packaging makes for a deceptive décor addition to appeal to the ‘I’m so eclectic and decorate my home with mixed media and found objects’ artist in us all.

So those burly and brawny men are about to run around the football field and best of all, there are going to be some incredibly expensive ads. That’s right: this weekend it’s Super Bowl Sunday! While bringing glamour to football is a challenge, here are a few speaking points to enable you to blend in while remaining composed at this exciting time.

There are no actual bowls involved in the game. Do not make this mistake as it is a dead giveaway that you do not care for sport. Turns out, the name was decided when two leagues (the American Football League and the National Football league) merged and they wanted a name to decide the world champion (of a game that is only played in one country). As a side note, Australia has really fumbled calling its Australian Rules football final, the ‘Grand Final’—talk about underwhelming. But I digress.  NFL Commissioner, Pete Rozelle wanted to call the merged game ‘The Big One’. The other league guy apparently jokingly called it the “Super Bowl” as a play on words related to a toy his daughter had (called a Wham-O Super Ball) combined with the college “bowl” games (Ever heard of the Rose Bowl? No of course not if you’re reading this post but look it up here). The Super Bowl became a permanent name. And that’s why you shouldn’t joke about bowls because you could end up naming the second-largest day for U.S. food consumption, after Thanksgiving Day.

This year’s game is called Super Bowl XLVI. It’s in Roman numerals because Roman numerals scream gladiatorial combat rather than just some prancy game involving freakishly large men who wear leggings.

The two teams playing this year are the New York Giants and New England Patriots. Both of those names are terrifically gladiatorial as well and a lot better than say, “the 49ers” which is not very scary. Behold: “Oh my god, a Patriot is coming to get me. Behind him is an angry Giant. Holding their bags is a 49er.” Do not be misled by their names; there is nothing new about either team.

The New York Giants are known for:

●  Having a 17-year drought during the ’60s and ’70s when they didn’t make it into the playoffs aka the Finals;
●  One of their players , Plaxico Burres, accidentally shooting himself when the Glock he’d tucked into the waistband of his sweatpants (which he was inexplicably wearing at a nightclub), began sliding down his leg and he pulled the trigger inadvertently when reaching for it;
●  Having a quarterback named Eli Manning who appeared in an Oreo commercial.

The New England Patriots are known for:

●  Having Tom Brady as their quarterback who was picked like waaaaaaay down the draft picks and then turned out to be awesome. Also, he dated Mr Big’s wife, “Natasha” from Sex and the City and then left her in real life when she was pregnant so that he could go out with supermodel Gisele Bündchen and have babies with her. Despite this switcheroo, Americans still love him because he is incredibly good-looking and ridiculously good at football.
●  Usually being referred to as the “Pats”. You should totally do this.
●  Being in the Super Bowl seven times (only the Dallas Cowboys and the Pittsburgh Steelers have been in it more).

The Giants and the Pats (I’m totally doing it!) played against each other in the 2008 Super Bowl and the Giants won so there’s some baggage, right there.

The aim of the game is to run up and down the field and score touchdowns (where someone gets into the end of the field at the opposite end to where they started). Touchdowns are worth six points. When someone gets a touchdown it’s a big deal and a much bigger deal than in Aussie Rules football where it happens 20 or so times in a game but not quite as big a deal as in soccer (or football if you’re from anywhere where it’s the only form of football worth considering) when it sometimes doesn’t happen at all.

If there is a foul, the umpires (or officials) throw a yellow flag weighted down with a beanbag onto the field. This is not considered something festive you should do at home.

And that’s about it. Have a great day and be sure to eat some buffalo wings (which is a euphemism for chicken) and some beer and cheese soup (which horrifying enough, is not a euphemism for chicken).

Short and sweet, here are the pressing issues (well, some of them) for your Agony Uncle this week. 
Oh, and if you like these Levi’s shorts, you can buy them here from ASOS.

Would it be frowned upon by potential employers if they see your application was sent to their inboxes late at night? By late I mean in terms of business hours, so before midnight but after 9pm.

Sinead, Melbourne

These days in the world of electronic communication, prospective employers are generally understanding of flexible hours and the need to grab a spare moment where one can. On the positive side, if you send it at night, chances are it’ll be one of the first things they read in the morning. Negatively, if you’ve been on the sauce and are four martinis in when distributing your résumé, you might just find yourself at a job interview for which you don’t recall applying.

What should my facial expression be when I’m walking around in public?

Argie, Twitter

You have so many options: disdainful will tell others to stay away, smug will tell them to roll their eyes, pouty will tell them that you should be ridiculed … or picked up, and wonky will tell them you have Bell’s palsy. Make your choice and wear your face with confidence!

What should I name our meeting room?

Karthi, Twitter

Stan.

Don’t forget to send your questions through by clicking here or following us on Twitter and send us an @reply.

So you’ve racked up another year—congratulations. Birthdays are cause for celebration and if you haven’t consumed the greater part of a gallon of champagne, you’re not doing it right.

If there’s one day you shouldn’t be wasting time on Facebook, your birthday is one (days of elective surgery and emergency circumcisions are others). While you might have a technological leave of absence, your Facebook profile will experience more visits than a half-priced brothel during Fleet Week.

If you have an extensive friends list, a glut of wall posts from well-wishers can be overwhelming when you return to the social network from your celebratory haze, but a sense of inundation shouldn’t get in the way of basic manners.

Alas, many take the easy way out—liking a birthday wall post—and failing to thank their well-wishing friend personally. It might seem trivial, however, there’s nothing as irritating as receiving a perfunctory ‘like’ notification after you’ve taken the time to wish someone a happy birthday, it’s taken them a mere moment and half a thought to hit the ‘Like’ button.

Of course, an immediate response isn’t required and if you’re sitting on Facebook on your birthday, then quite frankly you’re a loser; however, after the fact you should review all of the messsages and reply individually. Avoid copying and pasting a prescribed response and vary your message—you’ll find calling your friends ‘love’, ‘pet’ and ‘darl’ will save on the keystrokes. By doing so, this will make others feel that their sentiment is appreciated and should give you a sense of satisfaction knowing you’ve done the right thing.

If you have a lot of friends then it can be a laborious task, but you can break it into discrete sessions with indiscreet lashings of cake and birthday fizz. Who said private community management has to be boring?

When you think of handcrafted men’s footwear, you’d be forgiven for  immediately thinking of bespectacled cobbler in a gingham shirt crouched over a table in Florence, sipping an espresso and inhaling the greater part of a packet of cigarettes as he toils over a pair of brogue derbies. How the cigarette smell leaves the shoes remains a mystery, however, the labour of love always remains.

Now there’s a new player in the market with an interesting and competitively-priced product that might shake things up a bit. Shem Paronelli originates from Lagos, Nigeria and is the brainchild of Creative Director  and head craftsman, Shem Ezemma. Working with vintage and embossed patent leathers, patterned nubuck and fine suede in rich colours of tan, black and chocolate brown, the collection is a fusion of both tradition and modern design.

Using Italian or Spanish tanned leather, prices range from US$175 – $220 a pair; slightly more for exotic leathers. Currently, their website, shemparonelli.com is under construction, yet the brand takes orders via email and will ship globablly. It’s nice to know something decent is coming out of Nigeria other than spam scams.

We’re big enthusiasts of the recent resurgence of arts and crafts in our largely digital world—dare we say, a renaissance even—and this recent trend of all things handcrafted continues to evolve into new mediums. William Morris (as in the textile designer, writer and bearded wonder and not the talent agent) would be so proud.

For instance, Georg Jensen, silversmiths, jewellers and makers of beautiful Danish fare are the latest to return their handicraft roots with their collaborative project with Britain-based artist Inge Jacobsen. Reworking the images of the brand’s advertising campaign by photographer Sebastian Faena, Miss Jacobsen has cross-stitched over eight of the images.

Technically beautiful with over 2,000 hours’ manual labour with the assistance of students at the Royal School of Needlework at Hampton Court, the images are mini tapestries worthy of hanging in mini cathedrals. Although, in some model, Freya Beha’s cross-stitch rendering looks like a freaky scarecrow on a homicidal conquest, the result is otherwise magnificent.

The collection will follow the path of the fashion pack for exhibitions in Georg Jensen boutiques corresponding with the fashion week schedule, and then onto other flagship stores around the globe.

As a child, when my parents would go out for the evening and I was entrusted to a babysitter, little did they know that I would terrorise my au pairs by eating leaves of notepads, leading them to believe that I was some kind of human paper shredder, thus ensuring their suspicious and immediate unavailability. After having unwisely earned my parents’ trust and graduating from adult supervision to being left to my own devices, I would occasionally raid the liquor cabinet.

Of course, when plotting devious activities, avoiding detection was paramount; I’d have to make my own special brand of cocktail by taking just a bit from the top of every bottle so my parents wouldn’t notice. Alas, the bottles most frequent and untouched in the liquor cabinet were crème de menthe—obvious remnants from frequent dinner parties in the late-Seventies and early-Eighties—and my rocket fuel concoction tasted mostly like mouthwash laced with 100-proof and mineral turpentine. A Listerini, if you will.

These days, with a more refined palate, I tend to leave my mixing to the professionals; and whisky is no exception. Although, Whisky Blender is one service that could make me question my stance. A concept from experts, Whiskersons of Bothwell Ltd, the Glasgow-based allows users to make their very own blended scotch. By choosing from seven selected whiskies, customers can nominate their preferred malts and their corresponding proportions to make their very own blend in a fun and interactive manner.

Once chosen, the customer can name their blend, which will be hand written onto a personalised label and it will be shipped in a 700 mL lead-free crystal decanter. Each personalised blend is given a unique code, which is entered into Whisky Blender’s archive, allowing customers to order replenishment or gift their blend to a friend who’s helped them drain their decanter dry.

Price is determined by the quantity and type of blend selected, but an average bottle costs around £55 plus shipping.  See an introduction from their master blender (as opposed to Master Splinter) below:

Short and sweet, here are the pressing issues (well, some of them) for your Agony Uncle this week. 
Oh, and if you like these shorts, you can buy them here from ASOS.

Can I wear my shirt untucked with a tie for a presentation?

Mo, Twitter

Untucked shirts are fine when in informal settings, however, when giving a presentation, your presentation is as important as the PowerPoint slide show. With shirt tails asunder, your spectators might think, “Who’s this guy and can I trust him?” whereas when you’re immaculately groomed they’ll think, “Look at this fine specimen and example of grooming! I wish to believe everything he says and buy at least ten of what he’s selling.” Tuck it in.

My friend tells me that I am a full-blown vegetarian, yet my mother tells me I am not. Personally, I think I follow every vegetarian practice, however, once a month I eat veal? Isn’t it just like being vegetarian since I am supporting nature?

Ben C., Sydney

So they’re making vegetarian veal now? I’ve had vegetarian “duck” before and even vegetarian “prawns”. The latter is kind of creepy because it’s mangled tofu that’s been shaped and flavoured to taste like prawn, kind of like the mystery meat you’d receive in a theatre restaurant. I’d say come out of the carnivore closet and stop pretending you’re a vegetarian.

So my friend bought for me a food item (of large quantity) and ended up giving it as a gift, insisting I don’t pay them back. I was thinking of making a fruit basket  in return. Do you have any other ideas?

Dana, Twitter

A fruit basket is a nice idea, so is a bottle of wine. You could always host your friend for dinner and cook them meal made from whatever they provided. Or you could calve their effigy out of a leg of ham—that’s sure to be freakily delicious.

Don’t forget to send your questions through by clicking here or following us on Twitter and send us an @reply.

It’s the day when sales of booze and soda bulbs in regional centres spike (although we cannot attest to whether they’re being used in the creation of pavlovas); and that’s just the feral folk making their way to the Rainbow Serpent Festival. Australia Day: the celebration of our nation’s European heritage and for most, a good excuse to hit the cans and the greater part of a large animal.

We’ve taken the liberty of preparing a visual guide to Australia Day addressing its most common 5 ‘B’s: beer, bogans, barbecues and bad behaviour.

Learn to Pronounce It Before You Celebrate It

Some might have you believe that ‘Australia’ is a six-letter word with only two syllables; this is not the case. Open that jaw, pronounce your ‘A’s as ‘ay’s and not ‘eye’s or ‘oy’s and impress other with your impeccable diction.

Plan Ahead When Entertaining

You must love a country where you can kill, cook and devour your national emblem without fear of treason, however, you must ensure you that you don’t make one egregious entertaining mistake: not having a vegetarian alternative. Believe it or not, not everyone eats meat, and although you’ll never be able to fully trust a vegetarian, they’re among us like racists and Celine Dion fans and you must cater for them. Our simple Venn diagram below demonstrates this concept.

When it comes to stocking the bar fridge, it’s a day of national pride not nationalism. Most people would prefer to imbibe a local brew, but don’t forget those with the more highfalutin of palates: open the borders to ethnic diversity and buy a slab of European beer.

Stay Cultured, Stay Chic

It’s easy to become nostalgic on Australia Day, but it doesn’t mean you have to revert to Australiana kitsch. If it has wattle or cork anything attached, is served from a foil bladder or comes with its own band of “Crocmen” backup dancers, then it’s not chic. Unless of course you do it with a sense of irony, then it’s no-holds-barred hilarity.

Think Before You Ink

It might seem patriotic, it might seem like a good idea after your forty-third beer, but please think long and hard before you tattoo yourself with what was otherwise a seemingly innocuous constellation until the bogans appropriated it. Consider this: “Bacne” aside, here’s what your tattoo might start out looking like:

And here’s an artist’s impression of it at age 70:

Not so hot now is it?

Cultural Sensitivity

Remember, yes, it’s a day for celebration for most, however, one should maintain a level of cultural sensitivity, particularly to those of indigenous descent whose ancestors were likely pillaged in the name of colonialism. Don’t dwell on the subject, don’t get into heated arguments—just smile, agree and thank your lucky stars you’re not a kangaroo or an emu as you back away slowly.

Happy Australia Day, everyone!