Quite unexpectedly, while attending a fairly prominent bicycle race last weekend, Danielle and I were given the treat to experience a new cultural ceremony first hand, and we absorbed it with keen attention. Travel and culture is a passion of ours.

The event was what I would call an “Injun Matrimonial Ceremony” performed by a local spiritual man of some high repute and regard with many of those in attendance. Some were so moved as to exclaim the name of God at his mere appearance amongst them. Some genuflected and were quickened enough by this spiritual man’s obvious power to weep in contorted, almost grotesque, convulsions of spiritual mirth

“I am called Two Feathersincrackofass of the great tribe of Obi Wan Chipotle, Band of the Red Rock Flaming Warriors, Local 313, and messenger of the great love goddess Pokeahontas Slapahinie.”

What followed was one of the most intriguing ceremonial rites of passage I have ever witnessed. The cloistered, city dwelling, hamburger eating and bicycle riding man in me wants to call it bizarre, but I recognize that cultures around the world, even our own, have an incestuous relationship with the sacred and the profane, so I am reticent to pass judgment on what I saw until such time as I am enlightened, or intoxicated, enough to comprehend it. Fortunately, I had a video camera…

-M

Unrelated illustration by Brian Raszka, www.brianraszka.com

She said she wanted him to paint something on the scale of their king-sized bed, since people pay good money for art that big, as opposed to a collage of twin pillows.

So he bought a big canvass, and built it a frame of two-by-fours and quarter molding. But he had no where to lay it except right on the bed, minus the pillows of course. And then he couldn’t think of anything to fill all that space, which as he stared at it on that scale became as fine and clear as the porcelain front of a toilet tank

Then he realized that even the box spring under the king sized mattress under the king sized canvass was twins working as one, so he took black paint and drew a line right down the middle, then he painted something on either side.

-M

Check out some stunning photos on The Big Picture.

-M

The number one rule for making purchases in Morocco is that there is no set price for anything except bus rides.

In the Erg Chebbi area near Merzuga, there is no real centralized town. South of Rissani the paved road ends and breaks up into countless roadlets that locals and tourguides use to get out to any number of distributed outposts called Kasbahs. Each Kasbah is different, some are big fancy castles, some are mud houses. The one we went to was a small house with a small guest house inside a courtyard enclosed in 1 acre adobe wall.

You can stay for any number of nights there at the Kasbah and explore the large seasonal lake, Dayet Srji, by foot. You can also rent a 4×4 and drive around wherever you want. When the camel treks leave, they go out into the dunes to a number of camps composed of several Berber tents with bedrolls on the sand. They are quite comfortable and really cool to hang out in.

Negotiating

When the locals want you to trust them they say, “Look in Lonely Planet. I am in there!” Then 15 minutes later when you tell them what Lonely Planet says is a reasonable price for a camel trek they’ll ask you what edition you have, and claim that their information is out of date. Regardless, the book is a distraction. The camel trek is worth what you are willing to pay and what they are willing to accept.

The tricky part is that there isn’t a souk for camel treks. You have to either go out there and talk to them or hook up with one on the way. If you go out there, the transport for you to shop around could cost hundreds of Dirhams and take hours. In the cities, you really don’t have an idea yet of where you’re going and what’s involved in getting there and they make it seem more involved than it really is.

The first price they quote will be from 40 to 60% higher than what they’re willing to accept. But realize what you are getting into. Here’s a breakdown of the things involved in a camel trek:

Lodging in Kasbah: These range from rundown shacks with tepid weak showers to full on luxury. That would cost 120 to 300 DH in a city, except that the tents in the desert have no water, and no maids.

Food: Tagine for dinner. Bread and jam for breakfast. Would cost you 120 and 50 DH, respectively, in a city.

Camel trek: Keep in mind that CAMELS DON’T DRINK FOR SEVERAL WEEKS AT A TIME. So when they tell you they have to buy camel feed (THEY EAT NATIVE GRASSES) laugh at them, cause they’re laughing at you.

Guides: We had a single guide for our 2 night trip with 4 guests. I would be SHOCKED if he made more than 50 DH per day. He was a local of the area who lived in the Kasbah, or with family in local non-permanent lodging. He said he had never been out of the country (though he spoke 5 languages) and only went as far as Fes once and never wanted to go again. He had heard of Jmaa el-Fna and wanted to hear our stories.

Transport: Probably the biggest cost for them. You can get there in a car, but the roads are rough and larger groups with baggage would make car passage tough in wet times.

Erg Chebi outfitters

We ended up going with Kasbah Bivouac Lahamada. Our guide was Hadesh, a local who was a really great guide. He was funny and nice and cool. They have a Kasbah with camping and a number of rooms. They said they had hot showers, but we didn’t find them. We did find a spigot with tepid rusty water. The food was decent and the price was reasonable. I won’t tell you what we paid. Aside from being a douchey thing to do, I wouldn’t want to spoil the negotiations for you…
GSM: 03.61.40.98.16
Hamada_tour@yahoo.fr
www.kasbahbivouaclahamada.com

After our trip we had a few hours to kill in Rissani before the bus left. We ate lunch at the Café Panorama and visited for a while with the sons of the owner. Hassan Hafidi works in the café and also runs transport for the treks. He is an honest, smart and nice kid, and I can definitely recommend him and his brothers. If you get as far as Rissani and still don’t have something set up, try the Panorama.
GSM: 06.66.35.18.36
Panoramahotel2000@hotmail.com

-M

Read more about our trip to Morocco

So are social networks replacing portals or search engines? Perhaps. Regardless, if we don’t understand and address people feeling increasingly alienated by the amount of information on the Internet, and the need for a human guide, yes, your favorite social network (or something like it) will become the next great content gateway.

1000 Indisposed Words Fiction Contest

I love stories. And I love short ones. You might have seen the Three Minute Fiction deal running on NerdPR all summer, or you may listen to The Moth Podcast to hear some great short form storytelling. Some of the best Ignites are the ones that have an element of narrative. 1000 indisposed words is all about the stories that come from images.

Below is a picture: Submit your 1000 words by Sunday October 31, and the best entry will win a T-Shirt from Reno eNVy.

Rules:

1. Submission must be inspired by the above image and reference some visual element at least once.
2. 1 submission per person.
3. no more than 1000 words, no less than 800.
4. Fiction only.
5. Post Submissions here, or in the comments, or posted to the Mike Henderson Facebook Page or the Reno eNVy Facebook Page. Title your Submission “Indisposed Fiction October: <TITLE>.”
6. You may also post a web link to your submission which must be dated no earlier than 10/01/2009. Tag your entries “iai1000oct.”
7. Entries will be judged by me and Scott from Reno eNVy. Will ship anywhere the USPS delivers to in the US.
8. Top 5 entries will be posted here on i am indisposed.

This contest is proudly sponsored by Reno eNVy.

-M

ps Got a picture for next months 100 indisposed words? Post it in the comments.

Our trip to Morocco required the use of many more different transportation modes than we usually enjoy. Here are the totals:

• Plane: 4
• Bus: 8
• Train: 5
• Petit Taxt: 10
• Camel: 4
• Grand Taxi: 3
• Land Rover: 1
• Galloper: 1
• Metro: 13

When Mohamed VI became king of morocco he was keen on improving things for his people. In order to improve the economic outlook, he took an active role in providing safe reliable transportation systems in Morocco for locals and tourists. The Moroccan government has made tourism in Morocco a high priority and as a result the country is very safe and easy to get around in.

Here is a run down of the modes of transportation in Morocco, all notably friendly and easy to secure for non Arabic speaking foreigners. NOTE: that doesn’t mean you won’t get ripped off, they’re just really nice and non-threatening about it.

Trains of Morocco

AKA: ONCF

The only train line is operated by ONCF, a state owned rail service that runs freight and passenger lines that hit all the imperial cities of Morocco.

The trains are pretty nice for the most part, though they aren’t labeled and figuring out which one you need to be on is difficult. Fortunately, we found the locals very happy to help.

One gentleman helped us find the right train, then we sat with him and chatted on the way to the airport where he was an air traffic controller. He was having problems with his computer. So I helped him set up Firefox so his outlook web access would work right.

Automobiles of Morocco

AKA: Voiture, Grand Taxi, Petit Taxi

In Morocco there are a couple kinds of passenger cars and taxis. Most common is the sub-compact car. From a number of manufactures, most commonly, Citroen, Peugeot and VW, they are small with 4 doors and a hatch-back. These are the petit taxis and the most common passenger car in most areas.

The other common car in Morocco is the Mercedes 240 sedan, or Grand Taxi. These are a bit more expensive than the petit taxi, but as usual, you can bargain. These are comfortable and a testament to German engineering. Not a one has a working instrument cluster however. Believe it or not, there’s a facebook group for them.

In the desert there are also Toyota Landcruisers, Land Rover Defender 110s, and other similar light 4×4 trucks like the “Galloper.”

Busses

AKA: CTM, Supr@tours, Car
Companies: Supr@tours, CTM, SATAS,

CTM and Supr@tours are legit and should be pretty safe and comfortable, though the seats on one side can be tighter than seats on the other. Most of the buses have an aft door and the seats on the right side seem to be more cramped because of it.

CTM is a government run bus line and they have baggage check, uniformed drivers, and a good relationship with the Gendarme so you never get stopped.

The buses of Morocco are either FAR better than what you are used to in the US, or FAR worse. We rode some REALLY nice Volvo fully automatic buses that were air conditioned, comfortable and clean.

We also rode a few Man coaches that were super sketch. Some of the cheaper bus lines use older buses from the nicer companies and the seats are sketchy, poorly bolted down and are jointly used for passengers and smuggling cheep consumer goods in from Spain.

Moroccans don’t travel much, I’m guessing, because as soon as the bus starts to rock on windy roads the lunch comes up. The nicer buses will provide plastic bags for vomiting and then kindly toss them out the window onto the road for you. The cheaper ones will conveniently allow you to yak on the floor and then clean it up with newspaper.

Buses usually stop at the driver’s cousin-in-law’s roadside restaurant for lunch halfway through the trip. This is hit or miss at best.

Camels and Donkeys

In the Desert the locals use camels for transport. They generally don’t ride them, rather they walk and lead the loaded animals. African camels are actually dromedary, or a one-humped Arabian camel.

Donkeys work along side modern vehicles in every Moroccan city. They use them to carry tools, supplies, cement and water. In Meknes we saw a donkey hauling a load of LCD widescreen TVs!

In the Medinas donkeys are used to haul carts and large saddle packs through the narrow crowded streets that are too small and winding to allow vehicles.

Scooters @ Mopeds

Scooters are everywhere and are loud, noisy and fast. In the tight Medina streets they wiz through the throngs and never hit anyone or run over a toe. They are available for rent in dense tourist areas such as Djemaa el Fna in Marrakesh.

Typically the outdoor seating at a café is flanked by a row of mopeds and scooters and you’ll usually see a Moroccan man or woman come out, hike up his or her jalabie, hop on, start pedaling, rock off the center stand and zoom away.

Bicycles in Morocco

There isn’t anywhere we went in Morocco where we didn’t see bikes. We even saw shops filled with bikes, bike parts, tubes and men repairing bikes. They are generally 1 speed, or converted to 1 speed, or have no derailleur and so are only able to use one speed. Bikes in Morocco are used for transportation, recreation, and cargo.

We saw a total of 10 full on spandex roadies, a handful of Euro bike tourists and 4 genuine Moroccan urban bike hipsters. I shit you not.

See this Flickr set for more photos of Moroccan Transportation.

-M

Instead of a press release, Housh and the others made a video introduction in the name and voice of the hive mind itself. Thrown together in a few days of furious collaboration, it appeared on YouTube on January 21, titled “Message to Scientology.”

I was amazed by the pathetic inquisitiveness that Wired Magazine calls “reporting” if they didn’t uncover the real story. One man in an all out battle against the real menace…

And then Ed and I worked a hard night to uncover this evidence of the insane diabolical malignancy that is the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. I like how you can hear some FSM worshiping fucktard genuflecting in the background throughout it…

-M

Photo by Hryck on Flickr

I’ll take in this picture. Which Jonas Brother should I tell her to give me? I’ve added trucker stashes to help you decide. If you know their names, you can post that info in the comments. It might help.

-M

My mom has been a teacher for 23 years. She spent a lot of time with young kids in kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grade teaching the basics and elements of reading and writing. For the last few years she’s been teaching in the School of Education @ California State University Bakersfield in a program that links university education and classes with in-class experience in Greenfield School District.

This year she is back in the classroom teaching 6th graders for the first time ever. I remember when I was going into 6th grade and there was nothing I wanted to do less. She was excited and energized and couldn’t wait.

In this conversation she asks me for some of my thoughts on writing looking back on my early academic career so she can share them with her class as she begins a lesson in writing. My mother thinks I’m a writer (please don’t tell her about the social media douchebag thing!).

After sharing my thoughts on writing, I ask her about how she is introducing her young students to creative writing and how she is trying to give them the tools they need to be good writers who love to write.

Thanks for listening!

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-M