Hollywood Hills

‘Last Song’ trailer: Miley Cyrus, generic hot guy, wretched Miley music

Branden — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 07:51:28 +0000

Mile Cyrus gets the chance to showcase her “real” acting chops in the upcoming movie “Last Song,” based on the novel by Nicolas Sparks (”The Notebook,” “A Walk to Remember”).

Looks like the usual story. Girl spends the summer with her dad (Greg Kinnear, who else would it be?). She falls for a guy. Guy kisses her and outlines her body in seashells. Yada. Oh and there’s plenty of Miley “duckface” (like in the photo above).

I wonder who dies though. Doesn’t someone always die from cancer or something in Sparks’ books/movies? I won’t say who I hope it is. But I bet you can guess.

And thank God, it includes new music by Miley. I’ve been waiting. My “Party in the USA” MP3 is worn out.

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Will Ferrell tops Forbes Most Overpaid Stars list

Branden — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:54:47 +0000

Forbes has compiled a list of the 10 Most Overpaid Stars and Will Ferrell comes in at No. 1. Ewan McGregor is a close No. 2.

The magazine says to create the list, “we looked at the 100 biggest stars in Hollywood. To qualify, each actor had to have starred over the last five years in at least three movies that opened in more than 500 theaters. We then calculated a return-on-investment number for each star by dividing total operating income on the three films by the star’s total compensation, including up-front salaries and earnings from DVD and TV sales.”

The list:

1. Will Ferrell
2. Ewan McGregor
3. Billy Bob Thornton
4. Eddie Murphy
5. Ice Cube
6. Tom Cruise
7. Drew Barrymore
8. Leonardo DiCaprio
9. Samuel L. Jackson
10. Jim Carrey

Very interesting. Most of the people on the list are actors I could care less about. So it all makes sense to me.

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Shia LaBeouf enters 1920s beauty pageant

Branden — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:27:56 +0000

The crazies over at Shiantology posted this vintage beauty pageant image because one of the contestant bears a striking resemblance to their main squeeze Shia LaBeouf. And I agree. The photo cracks me up. I took it upon myself to add a comparison photo and arrow. I actually think the young lady looks more like Shia during his “Even Stevens” days, but it’s still hilarious. Oh, and am I the only one who thinks the woman on the left kind of looks like Charlize Theron? Now this is getting creepy.

Update: As reader “Goose” pointed out, the lady (I think it’s a lady) on the right looks a lot like Alex Winter from “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure.” It’s a star-studded beauty pageant. I think Charlize has it in the bag…

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LOL: Buffalo Bill tributes on YouTube

Branden — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 23:22:03 +0000

You remember the infamous dance Buffalo Bill does in “Silence of the Lambs“? You know, it’s to the song “Goodbye Horses” and there’s that extra-special junk tuck he does? OK, now that we’re on the same page, let me share with you how many recreations there are of that dance on YouTube.

Some guys go all out. They don’t miss a beat. Others realize how embarrassing their tribute could be and decide to edit themselves. I really wanted to post my favorite one here, but decided it’s still too naughty for our nice little blog. Do a YouTube search or check them out here. In the meantime, enjoy “Family Guy’s” Chris Griffin’s own interpretation below.

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Toasting TV’s most dysfunctional families

Branden — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 21:06:04 +0000

The holidays are upon us. It’s almost time to eat too much and then retreat to a private corner before Uncle Gus again starts asking why you don’t have a girlfriend. Hey, I didn’t say that’s a question I’m familiar with. But many families put those kinds of questions on the table. Right next to the yams.

Most people can relate at least a little to family dysfunction. Especially around the holidays. So to make you feel better about your own this holiday season, we’ve compiled a list of TV’s (mostly cable because networks wouldn’t dare show truth) most messed up clans.

5. The Morgans, “Dexter.” Sure it looks like a happy brood. The family of five lives in a nice new home. They’re grilling out with neighbors. There’s a new baby. Mom is finally happy after a horrible previous marriage. Daddy Dexter is even taking little Cody on a Young Sailor’s outing. But in the middle of that outing, Dexter ducks out to murder a man he thinks has gotten away with murder himself. You can’t help but love Dexter, but when you get down to it, he’s the No. 1 ingredient for their truly terrible family structure.

4. The Griffins, “Family Guy.” The talking, walking family dog is in love with mother Lois. Baby Stewie plots to kill Lois on a regular basis (I’m pretty sure he’s also actually killed someone). Teen Chris once dressed as Buffalo Bill from “Silence of the Lambs” during the infamous penis-tuck “Goodbye Horses” dance. His sister Meg will do anything for attention. And father Peter is a complete idiot. I love what has happened to cartoons. Seriously.

3. The Fishers, “Six Feet Under.” The HBO drama has been off the air for several years, but the Fisher family proved to be so dysfunctional that they can’t be forgotten. They live in a funeral home for starters. Dad fisher is killed in the pilot, but his ghost visits family members throughout the series. Someone is always cheating on someone else. Brothers are resentful. Daughter Claire is a druggie who always chooses the wrong men. But it’s Son Nate’s on-again-off-again girlfriend Brenda (and her crazy brother) who bring the most dysfunction. Brenda might be one of the most messed up characters in television history.

2. The Henricksons, “Big Love.” I’m not saying plural marriage is instant dysfunction. But when a man has three wives, they’re each going to have their own drama. How could there not be madness? First wife Barb might have her overbearing ways, but it’s second wife Nicki where most of the dysfunction brews. She’s straight out the compound with her hair poof and frumpy dresses. But she’s not as simple as she dresses. She’s a double agent of sorts between her new family and her old. She’s stolen money, tampered with investigations and has even fallen in love with a man other than her husband. Then there’s third wife Margene. Her infantile ways are always getting the family in some sort of bind. And that creepy sexual tension between her and her teen-aged step son. Nice.

1. The Botwins, “Weeds.” Never in television history has there been a more dysfunctional family. As if the fact that mother Nancy was a suburban housewife turned drug dealer wasn’t enough, there’s so so much more. Nancy has put her two sons in danger so many times I’ve lost count. Then there’s the whole thing where she’s never around to offer them guidance. That’s why her oldest son Silas is now a dealer himself. And her younger son Shane has already had an STD and murdered a woman before his 16th birthday. And she just had a new baby! And married a corrupt politician/drug lord! How wonderful. Good ones, Nance.

It’s always so hard to narrow these lists down to five. So I at least want to share what a Top 10 might have looked like:

6. The Bundys, “Married With Children”

7. The Gregsons, “The United States of Tara”

8. The Drapers, “Mad Men”

9. The Bluths, “Arrested Development”

10. The Van de Kamps/Hodges, “Desperate Housewives”

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Two new ‘Alice in Wonderland’ posters

Branden — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 00:55:05 +0000

Disney has released a couple new Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland” posters and it’s good to see in this first one that someone remembered that the Mad Hatter is not the star of “ALICE in Wonderland.” Alice is. Poor Johnny Depp gets to sit at the head of the table but he’s so far away and so tiny.

The second one here is just kind of a photoshop stamp tool mess. “Ooooh I think the Cheshire Cat would look good up in the sky!” Lazy.

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Official ‘A Single Man’ trailer, poster debut

Branden — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 00:55:44 +0000

Have I mentioned how excited I am for this movie? I’m a huge Julianne Moore fan and am still waiting on the day she gets her much-deserved Oscar. The new trailer for “A Single Man” actually quotes someone as saying “there is already Oscar buzz for Julianne Moore.” So that’s why I’m so excited.

Of course the rest of the movie looks fantastic as well. It looks like a believable period piece. I am perplexed about one thing though. The movie is doing something odd with the marketing. They’re telling us very little about the movie and telling absolutely nothing about the main character’s (Colin Firth) sexuality. He’s gay, but you’d never know from the trailer and poster. Interesting. Of course being gay in the early 1960s was a completely different issue.

Oh well, as long as Julianne Moore finally gets her Oscar I’ll be A Happy Man.

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There’s going to be a Yogi Bear movie?

Branden — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 19:05:39 +0000

Really? Aren’t the people who actually ever watched the Yogi Bear cartoons like 80 or dead? I don’t recall Yogi Bear cartoons ever really being a staple when I was a kid in the 80s. I think you could maybe find it randomly, but no one watched it. Nor have they since.

But apparently Warner Brothers has decided it’s a good idea to make a live-action version. And to make things more interesting Anna Farris and Justin Timberlake are in talks to star. Oh, and maybe Dan Aykroyd will voice Yogi.

I’m this close to sending Hollywood my optomotrist bill from the damage done to my eyes from all the eye rolling I’ve done lately.

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‘True Blood’ drink review: I’d rather drink blood

Branden — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:27:10 +0000

HBO was nice enough to send me a bottle of Tru Blood, the drink based on the one in the hit cable series “True Blood.” First, I have to say the bottle is awesome. It looks just like the one on the show. And it even says that it’s O Positive flavor. I’m seriously never throwing the bottle away.

As for the drink itself … not so exciting. The blood orange flavor tastes more like flat Orange Crush with Smarties candies crushed up in it. I really wanted to like the drink. I really didn’t want to give it a bad review. But the bitter taste in my mouth after taking a drink told me otherwise.

For months now, our initial Tru Blood drink story has topped the charts for page views. People have been dying to get their hands on a bottle from a store near them. HBO initially said the drinks would be available in stores, but they’ve yet to show up. You can still order them online, but who really wants to do that? My advice would be, don’t buy them to drink. Buy ONE (if that’s even possible) as a novelty.

Bill Compton wouldn’t stand for such impure flavors and neither can I.

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Robert Pattinson movie has same name as gay porn company

Branden — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 19:13:09 +0000

It’s been reported that Robert Pattinson has signed on for “Bel Ami,” a biopic about 19th Century French writer Guy de Maupassant. What makes me laugh is Bel Ami is also a popular gay porn company (it even comes in at No. 2 in a google search). And don’t ask me how I know! I hope someone gets confused and says “Robert Pattinson is doing Bel Ami!” in a gay chat room. There will be pandemonium.

I know most people won’t think of the porn company when they first see the word Bel Ami, but some will. And that’s enough to make me laugh.

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