Breaking the chain

Oh my God, I'm back in jeans

2009-07-03T19:50:02+01:00

THAT'S the good news. It has been 11 years in the making.

The bad news is I haven't been able to step on the scales in weeks as I have been beside myself with stress over various things - this yet again includes close family illness.

But I took a deep breath the day before yesterday and on I strode. I'd convinced myself I'd put on every last pound I'd lost.

So I was bloody well cock-a-hoop to find I hadn't. I don't want to say how much exactly I had put back on but let's just say a couple of weeks of healthy eating and even some exercise will soon put me straight.

I wouldn't shop for jeans in a million years. But a couple of weeks back I got a phone call out of the blue from an editor at a paper where I'd filed some copy about my "weight loss journey".

They still loved the story, but they hated the pics she said.

Oh ******** hell I thought - but sort of simpered instead.

And so it was that I had my photo taken again. Last time I was surrounded by cake and KitKats, this time they had me jumping in and out of bushes.

It took three grown women to get me into a pair of white jeans and to haul me off the ground (where I was doing a sort of wonky star shape) to have my picture taken for the 1,000th time by a photographer whose people skills were akin to Dr Crippen's.

Still, the make up lady and stylist were bloody marvellous. They told me all about the stars they'd worked with, name-dropping as easily as I jump the queue at Greggs.

"Joan Collins, Marie Helvin, Barbara Windsor..." beamed the beautiful stylist.

She didn't seem too impressed when I breathlessly asked her if she'd worked with Sue Cleaver - that's Eileen from Corrie - in case you were wondering. And no she hadn't in case you were wondering that too. What a let-down. Joan Collins? Pah.

But then she said I could keep one of the pairs of jeans she'd brought with her! (Not the white ones that would have been torture.) She'd told me they were a size 16 - a lovely, kind strategy to make me feel good - but they are an 18. That'll do for me - when you think that this time last year I would have struggled to get in a 22.

Anyway, all this excitement means I'm back to eating healthily and hoping to get some exercise over the weekend.

I should also add that when I stepped on our new Wii Fit board last week, it said on the screen no coach parties were allowed.

There I go again, making light of things. Of course it didn't say that. It might as well have, or flashed up "You fat bastard" as it decided whether I was a healthy weight, overweight or obese.

It also decided to test my balance.

Well that was just too much and I fell off.

Then it worked out my "fitness age".

I'm 70 apparently.

Lovely. I hope I can reach 69 by next week.

Yep. "Don't we all love", I hear you cry.

Forget blame and media bullying. Compassion and education are what's needed to help "Tellytubby" family

2009-03-23T20:39:27+00:00

SOMETIMES when you watch the X Factor, you feel uncomfortable.

Not so uncomfortable you look away, mind - just broadly troubled that people who, as my mum would say, are not quite the full shilling, are openly mocked, laughed at even, by a pop princess and a multi-millionaire who made much of his cash off Robson and Jerome.

One such contestant, who nearly had me reaching for the off button was Emma Chawner, an overweight teenager in a hotch-potch of a bridesmaid's dress, whom Cowell decided 'sang like a baby.' Except George Dawes looks better.

Then in marched her family. Oh my God, they were as fat and feckless as she was. A nation watched open-mouthed as in they harrumphed, sticking up for their not so little girl and making twisted TV gold as they did so. I felt bad for them. I'm a fattie too, though I know I can't sing. But like them, I've also proved myself a bit crap at losing weight.

There for the grace of God I thought for an instant, possibly until the smell of a Saturday night takeaway (that's a Chinese, not Ant & Dec) lured me away.

An X Factor return for Emma had the same outcome. This time we also got to see a sickly sweet, and exploitative ITV 2 interview with Holly Willoughby too. Nice.

And as she trotted off into the distance with Holly's "kindness" ringing in her ears, that was the last we thought we'd see of Emma and her family.

But no. There's been a ripple of media interest since. And last week, the Chawners were all over the papers. We should have seen it coming.

Kelvin McKenzie said they were all that was wrong with Britain.

That's to be expected. Who would argue against a family returning to work rather than claiming benefits of £22,000 a year when with a kick up the bum and a better attitude to food and exercise they could be trimmed down and "fit for purpose"?

But the vitrol that has been poured in this family's direction focuses equally on their waist size as well as their work-shy approach to life. Being a "scrounger," it appears, is nowhere near as bad as being a "fat scrounger."

When I read the Sunday Times yesterday, I found the piece on the Chawners' sorry tale by Rachel Johnson, rather upsetting and unsettling.

Here's how it began:

No need to ask who ate all the pies today. Say hello to the Chawner family: Samantha, 21 (18 stone), mother Audrey, 57 (24 stone), father Philip, 53 (ditto), and baby Emma, 19 (17 stone, the same as a newborn elephant). Total: 83 big ’uns.

I nearly choked on my chocolate croissant.

But there was worse to come:

Yup, they’re fat. Disgustingly fat. But that’s not the only reason we were encouraged to laugh and point at the Chawners last week. This fatty family is also on supersize benefits....The Chawners are all permanently latched on to the teat of the state and guzzling to the tune of £22,508 a year.

And:

I admit that when my appalled gaze rested on the Chawner family, I almost had a heart attack myself...

Putting the fattist prejudices to a side for a moment, before you rush to “fatty-bait” – the practice of shaming fatsos into losing weight – consider, please, the Chawners’ case from the other side of the elasticated waistband.

Meanwhile, Susan Ringwood, chief executive of Beat, tells the Sunday Times: “Overeaters know they are unhealthy. They know about their five a day but it’s no easier for them to make the long-term lifestyle changes to their diet than it is for anorexics,” she says. She also points out that when it comes to the spectrum of eating disorders, those who don’t eat, the anorexics, constitute only 10% – the tip of the iceberg. Most eat too much."

Sense at last. I am not fat because I want to be and nor is Emma Chawner. We should know better, but we don't. I've wept in the past about my frankly appalling attitude to food and now I could weep for Emma too.

I've written about childhood obesity here. Throughout the piece experts stress that attributing "blame" is the wrong way to tackle the hefty problem.

This echoes exactly what the nutritionist Lyndel Costain told me.

I'm now back fighting my own battle with fat. For the last six weeks, I've done completely rubbish (there's a near empty packet of Caramel Digestives hidden behind the telly downstairs as I write) as pressures of family illness and stress of work made my eating once again spiral out of control.

But I really hope I can get there. A pair of size 12 jeans is my goal, that and feeling comfortable on holiday. It's not much to ask, is it?

But don't please tell me it's easy. Because it's not. Food has been my friend, my crutch and my comfort for nigh on 40 years.

I eat when I'm hungry. I eat when I'm not. I eat when I'm happy and I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I'm busy and I eat when I'm bored.

I bet Emma does too.

She will have faced more than her fair share of bullies in her life so far. I personally find it disgusting - more disgusting than a roll or six of fat - that this proud tradition is now being carried on by our media.

I hope and pray someone can find the compassion to explain to Emma there is another way. And that she and the rest of her family find the strength to go for it.

And I mean really go for it, not as the willing guinea pigs of some PR-hungry personal trainer who throws a ratings-chasing tantrum when the Chawners hit the bacon butties again.

Childhood obesity: Too much too young?

2009-03-23T13:12:25+00:00

THE UK is sitting on a childhood obesity time bomb.

Our youngsters are now heavier than they have ever been and are putting on weight at an earlier age – before they even start school.

Not only are our children more likely to die younger through conditions linked with obesity, they are also falling ill younger, with 1,400 children in the UK already known to have been diagnosed with lifestyle-related type two diabetes.

Overweight children are more likely to become overweight or obese adults and face increased risks of diabetes, cancer, heart disease and stroke. They’re also prone to developing psychological problems including depression and low self-esteem, and face bullying.

According to recent research from the Earlybird Diabetes Study published in the Pediatrics Journal, one in four children aged four to five in England is now overweight.

And the government has forecast that by 2050, 60% of men and 50% of women could be obese. Chief medical officer for England, Sir Liam Donaldson, says it’s no exaggeration to describe soaring rates of obesity as an "impending crisis".

"We need to get in early and build the foundations to healthy living from a very early stage," he says.

But he adds: "It is never too late. Obesity is one of the few serious medical problems that can be reversed very, very quickly."

According to nutritionist Dr Jennie Cockcroft, childhood obesity is now at ‘scarily epidemic’ proportions. She says that with the government struggling to tackle the root causes, everyone responsible for children’s health should take action before the current situation becomes a catastrophe.

She says: “We have seen rapid increases in childhood obesity in a short space of time. Within one generation, a childhood obesity epidemic has sprung out of nowhere.

“There’s an estimated future cost of £2 billion to the NHS, and £10 billion to the economy because of the problems overweight children store up for later life. We have to work together to do what we can to help those affected. This isn’t the time for finger pointing, but positive action, involving the whole family.”

Dr Cockroft has pioneered a healthy eating programme called Phunky Foods, which has been adopted by around 350 UK primary schools.

She says that as well as the health costs both for children and the NHS, childhood obesity can also have other devastating consequences.

“Obese children can have low self esteem and become victims of bullying,” she says. “They can have a poorer quality of life through respiratory problems and pressures on their joints.”

So who’s to blame for such a sorry state of affairs?

The ten-year EarlyBird diabetes study, which is now half way through has reported that parents could do more for their children’s health.

It reports: “Overweight is now perceived as the norm. Parents are no longer aware of their own or their children’s obesity. A simple analysis of the EarlyBird parents and their children revealed what is a fundamentally serious issue for the campaign to reduce childhood obesity.

“Parents are essential partners in the fight against childhood obesity yet, crucially, they do not acknowledge the problem.”

But for many experts looking at issues of ‘blame’ is the wrong approach.

It’s also a widely-held expert view that the way we all live has also contributed to the scale of the problem.

Dr Cockcroft explains: “Our genes have not kept up with today’s culture and the environment we live in, the amount of activity expected of us from day to day has decreased, technology makes things easier for us.

“Food has also changed, with high fat and high sugar products becoming much more prevalent. It’s not always easy to make health choices and the healthy choice can be perceived as the expensive choice.

“Even the issue of children’s safety has had an impact – parents are much less likely to let their children go out and play now, they are much more likely to buy them computer games.”

All of these factors add contribute to what’s called a modern ‘obesogenic’ society.“That means we live in a culture that actively promotes the consumption of high energy food while maintaining a low-energy lifestyle,” adds Dr Cockcroft.

“While it’s right that families should take responsibility to move forward and learn more about healthy eating and a more active lifestyle, it’s not right that we should talk about who’s to ‘blame’.

In fact, government research at the heart of its £372 million Change4Life programme says that obesity has many causes and is a much more passive phenomenon than often assumed.

“Our basic biological instincts combined with our modern environment means that we're destined to put on weight,” a government team concluded.

Throughout the UK, there are large-scale schemes and smaller programmes made up of people passionate about defusing the obesity timebomb. While it can be extremely complicated and extra sensitive to help youngsters manage their weight, these initiatives are making a real difference to children’s quality of life.

The government says current Change4Life plans are ‘groundbreaking’ in supporting a more healthy society. They incorporate early years, schools, food, sport, physical activity, planning, transport and the health service and the government is working with commercial and voluntary sectors to help improve diet and lifestyle.

Some £30 million has been invested in so-called Healthy Towns – these are Dudley in the West Midlands, Halifax, Sheffield, Tower Hamlets in London, Thetford in Norfolk, Middlesbrough, Manchester, Tewkesbury and Portsmouth.

On launching the scheme, health secretary Alan Johnson said: “The core of the problem is simple - we eat too much and we do too little exercise. The solution is more complex. From the nature of the food that we eat, to the built environment, through to the way our children lead their lives - it is harder to avoid obesity in the modern environment.”

The Change4Life programme encourages families to eat well, move more and live longer. The goal is to help every family in England.

As well as government, the diet industry is also targeting teenagers. More than 2,000 young people aged 11-15 currently attend weekly Slimming World sessions. They can attend free when accompanied by a paying adult.

The company has helped 28, 707 youngsters aged 11 and above, since first welcoming them in 2006.

Spokeswoman Jenny Caven says that the programme differs from the adult version because of the sensitivities of helping children.

She says: “We know that the last thing young people need is pressure to lose weight. It’s based on providing warm, friendly group support aimed at building self-esteem and rewarding change rather than weight loss, with no judgemental attitudes and no pressure.

“For 11 to 15 year-olds, the emphasis will be on making lifestyle changes to prevent weight gain rather than on weight loss, on involving the whole family in making healthier choices, and on increasing regular activity.”

The pioneering SHINE programme in Sheffield has so far helped more than 200 young people on specific programmes but also has a ‘health bus’ with a nutrition centre, a gym and wii sports area, which goes out into the community.

Project co-ordinator Kath Sharman says: “Our aim is to help young people understand their weight problem so that they can manage it more effectively in an independent way. This is achieved by not only concentrating on food and eating, but by promoting a complete attitude change to lifestyle.

“The programme incorporates nutritional therapy, exercise, and behavioural modification, which includes psychological therapies to address issues related to anxiety, depression, low self esteem and confidence, body image and bullying.

“We promote a family orientated programme. We are non-judgemental and have a ‘no blame’ culture. We believe that families require help, support and understanding rather than criticism and we help families to change at their own pace, in relation to individual circumstances. ”

“Our uniqueness is that we provide counselling as part of the programme as many young people with weight problems have psychological issues they need to work through even before they think of weight management. “

One of the most respected UK schemes for young people is the Carnegie Weight Management programme for children aged eight to 17.

They run a series of residential camps, day camps and community clubs.

More than 4,500 young people have been helped so far by the various schemes which are run out of Leeds Metropolitan University, since it was set up 10 years ago.

Another groundbreaking healthy eating education programme is the national MEND scheme, whose sponsors include Sainsbury’s and whose healthy eating and lifestyle guidance was developed by Great Ormond Street Hospital and the University College London Institute of Child Health.

Bobby Demmon, 14 is a MEND success story. Five-foot one Bobby has shed two stone since hitting nine stone. He lost a little himself then joined MEND to help continue.

Bobby, of Romford in Essex, says that he found the sessions on healthy eating, followed by exercise, great fun.

But he says he can’t take all the credit for his impressive weight-loss. His mum Denise, 47, also deserves massive praise, he says.

Denise says Bobby had always been active, enjoying weekly swimming sessions and football practice and while she and Bobby’s brother Joe, 12 ‘could eat anything they want,’ her husband Ian, 43 and Bobby had a tendency to put weight on.

She decided to sign Bobby up for MEND because not only was she baffled by his weight gain, apart from thinking it must be ‘his metabolism’ but also because other children had started to call him names.

“We’ve learned that a series of small changes can have a huge long-term impact,” says Denise.

“This is not a diet, I’ve adapted family food to be as ‘MEND friendly’ as possible. For Bobby, it has been easy and it has been fun.

“Sometimes he has rang when his friends are tucking into a pastie and said ‘mum I’d like to have one too, but then when he has a bite he realises he’s not missing anything.”

Bobby adds: “I’m really pleased with how it’s gone, it has been easy and fun, I’d say to anyone who is overweight that they should believe in themselves, learn how to make the small changes we have and go for it.” * An earlier version of this piece is in the current edition of Sweet magazine.

Fat is funny - and I like being funny...

2009-01-29T15:59:51+00:00

BOY that guy has some guts.

I do too - I just don't put them on show. I turned into the 'fat woman' stereotype a long time ago - I can be loud, I can be funny and I can eat for England.

Now as the weight starts to come off, part of me wonders if I'll lose any of my personality. I hope the answer is 'yeah the miserable bit.'

Another new day, another new start. 'Me time' - What's that again?

2009-01-29T15:42:02+00:00

OKAY, so November wasn't a cracker and nor were December or much of January so far. But I feel fine, still fatter than I'd like to be, but fine nevertheless.

I had a lovely day in a gym yesterday - all day. I had a back massage, facial, swim, a go in the steam room and sauna, you name it. I've never done anything like that in my life before - I would have felt far too guilty. I remember wanting to go swimming when my daughters were tiny and setting off to go and do it by myself having sorted out the childcare. Thing was, when I got there, the pool was closed. I burst out crying - so rare and so treasured was my 'me time.' As my girls grew older, I can remember being in the pool and as I went up and down, again by myself, I started to tot up in my head how much money I could be earning if I had my head down at a computer instead of bobbing along in the water. I didn't go much after that. I felt too guilty - and hungry to make some money. If someone at that time had said to me 'right you have the day to yourself, you don't have to look after Emily and Melissa and you don't have to go to work ' I wouldn't have known what the hell to do.

I was a workaholic before I had my children and that madness doesn't go away the minute you hold two babies in your arms. I took nine months off before going back to work a day a week, building it up to three then cutting back again - it was just too much for me, with baby twins. But I planned and plotted how hard I was going to work in the years to come - albeit around my children.

My reasons for working changed, though - putting them first I thought, and sort of forgetting about me.

Now I'm 40, d'you know what I'm thinking sod it. Can I say out loud "I deserve this me-time"? Well yes I think I can. Phew that took a while.

What do you think of the Change4Life advertising campaign?

2009-01-29T15:22:36+00:00

I'VE been researching a piece on childhood obesity which is due out in Sweet magazine next month.

The video above fitted in very well with the feature as it reports on our so-called 'obesogenic' society - which basically means we don't have to work as much as earlier generations at the same time as high fat and high sugar food becoming more prevalent.

October update - "only" lost 2lbs this month but November will be a cracker!

2008-10-27T20:52:05+00:00

IT has been a busy month for all sorts of reasons and I have had mixed success when it comes to eating healthily and exercising. There have been one or two episodes of bingeing, though not as bad as earlier slip-ups.

I have also had a couple of meals out as part of celebrations for my daughters' 10th birthday. For the first time in years I had a starter but I was very conscious of the choices I was making. I think I have been to the gym about seven times this month - am not entirely sure as have been running round, busy with work and things at home.

But I also went shopping for clothes for me for the first time in more than a year too. This, as ever, made me cry but this time it was "good" tears - I was so bowled over that I could fit into the dresses on display. I ended up buying two and hope to have them taken in as I continue to get smaller.

I wrote a piece about binge eating for a paper and had my photo taken surrounded by cake! Now I'm waiting for the piece to go in. Somehow I felt okay, as a very kind make-up lady helped put me at ease.

Oh and I had a few tests for (gulp) diabetes. They were inconclusive so I have to go back in a couple of weeks. I was a bit of a wreck about this but the nurse was very reassuring.

I'm not at all disappointed that I "only" lost 2lbs this month - two stone in the two months earlier were plenty I think so I have to be realistic. That said, I really want to do my best for the coming weeks, especially as I am going to be cutting down on sugar which I hope can help me 'ride out' the urge to binge, should it strike.

Chugging along nicely-ish. Should I ditch the slimming pills?

2008-10-09T13:12:57+01:00

I BOUGHT some Adios tablets the other week. They have sat in my bag ever since, I'm a bit scared of them really.
And I'm embarrassed that I bought them in the first place. I left my handbag in someone's office last week and all I could think was bloody hell, it's got a packet of Adios in it.
The information on the packet says that the 'herbal supplement' helps to speed up your metabolism, which sounds quite tempting. But as I'm exercising anyway, I'm not sure that I need that.
Plus I'm just a bit worried that even considering taking such a supplement means I'm still screwed up when it comes to food, dieting, healthy eating - however you want to put it.

But I sort of know that anyway. This is a long hard slog. Latest is I have been back at the gym today and yesterday and eating really healthily over the past couple of days. So I'm feeling pretty energised and motivated.
I'm not weighing myself though. I had a bit of a splurge at the weekend (curry, Maltesers, profiteroles...) and what will be, will be. I went off the rails for a couple of days before I started craving reduced calorie houmous and rye bread! So I don't want to weigh myself at the moment and be all discombobulated by what the scales say. The plan is that I'll climb on again at the end of October.
I'd lost 26lb in two months. That's hell of a lot, whichever way you look at it. So perhaps I had gone overboard. My last session at the gym was a body combat class which had me wheezing and spluttering like I'd been smoking 60 Silk Cut a day.
The good news is my trousers are falling down a little and my coat is hanging off me like a scarecrow. Best of all, I have put my engagement ring back on my now not so chubby finger.
We're off to Blackpool Pleasure Beach in a couple of weeks so the thought of getting my arse stuck on The Big One is keeping me going.

Six week progress report - 21lbs lighter

2008-09-13T13:54:02+01:00

Despite beating myself up for bingeing last week, eating sausage rolls and drinking cider at a family party last week (hardly the crime of the century!) I nipped my misery guts attack in the bud and got back to the gym as well as thinking more about what I was eating.

I weighed myself yesterday and had lost another 3lbs - that's a stone and a half altogether. My BMI has gone down four points and I have very nearly lost 10 per cent of my body weight. Getting to that point is this week's target. I have also, judging by the clothes I have, as opposed for shopping for new ones, dropped a couple of dress sizes.

My coat is a size 22 and at the start of the summer holidays, I couldn't do it up across my chest. I don't think it is too much of an exaggeration to say it's hanging off me (oh okay, it could be) but I also have a jacket hanging in the wardrobe that had been worn once. It's an 18 and I have worn it twice over the last couple of weeks - it's quite fitted and each time I have worn it, people have commented at how nice I look.

To be honest with you, when someone says that, it makes me quite emotional. I have to think hard to remember the last time anyone told me something similar, unless it was my partner. He is complimenting me most days on how 'well' I look - saying that my complexion is great or something and a couple of mums have commented, with one saying I looked 'amazing' and the other saying I looked 'trimmer.'

So overall, I'm delighted. I think I am most pleased at the changes I have made and that they are becoming habit. I found last week, really really tough but got back into it, feeding my new found addiction for reduced calorie houmous and continuing to look to the future.

Back to binge eating and wondering why

2008-09-05T13:23:06+01:00

THIS week,I've been back on the bingeing. Last night I must have consumed enough calories to nourish a family of four – including sugar-laden, fat-packed snacks. In between cooking my family’s very healthy tea and reading my daughters a bedtime story, I stood in my kitchen and ate four Kit Kats, three packets of crisps and other such crap until I could eat no more. Then I cried. Unlike someone with a different (and arguably more accepted) eating disorder, I didn’t then make myself sick. Instead, today here I am feeling like shit, still crying a little, and wondering how to ‘get back on track’.

Please don't feel too sorry for me. While the negative voice in my head says I should be beating myself up, the rest of me is screaming - 'don't do it' - just get a grip and carry on.