They’ve had a enormous uniform FAIL, no one watches them on TV or at their stadium, they can’t spell Roosevelt, and that stupid Screech the eagle mascot is just embarrassing.

Not to mention that the team can’t perform ON the field either, where the Nats are currently a  Major-League worst 52-100.  That’s their second consecutive 100-Loss season.  Ugh. 

On that note, their fans seem to be taking it in stride. 

Here’s a Jersey some Nats fan (I think?) made before the 2008 season which looks like it will be good for years to come.

Simply awesome and well-played.  Self-deprecating jerseys always rule.

The only way it could be better is if it said NATINALS across the front.

“Nationals Hundred Losses” Jersey Rating

• Cleverness:  9
• Originality:  9
• Understandability:  10

I think that’s the highest score since the bodypainted Phillies fan (NSFW).

Found the Jersey in a thread over on FARK.

Crotch grabbing (which we photo-profiled a couple years ago) is one of them.  It’s a necessity, considering the protective equipment down there.

Spitting is another one.  I won’t go into all the reasons players spit (tobacco, sunflower seeds, disgust, anger, boredom) – but it happens.  A lot. 

And in many different ways. 

Horizontal Spit

Araron Miles and Rickie Weeks demonstrate the lateral spit.  You need some power to get that to go straight.

I’m not sure why Aaron Miles has to close his eyes.  Or why Weeks is spitting at JJ Hardy.

Walking Spit

As a kid, I always wondered how you didn’t walk into your spit.  I think it has something to do with momentum.

Great Expectations once defined Lastings Milledge’s career.  Now it’s just defined by Great Expectorations.

Meanwhile, Derek Jeter contributes to the layer of slime on the floor of the New York Yankees’ dugout.

Boredom Spit

Below, the Washington Natinals’ Ryan Zimmerman demonstrates the Whip-Spit. 

That is just cool. 

Baltimore Orioles’ catching wunder-prospect Matt Wieters has a spit that’s over a foot and a half long.

Gravity Spit

This usually is in conjunction with chewing tobacco or Big League Chew. 

The Cubs’ Ryan Theriot lets gravity do all the work before this at-bat.

The SF Giants’ Pedro Sandoval (aka Kung Fu Panda) wants you to know what the thinks about not being voted on the 2009 NL All-Star team.

Manny being Disgusting. 

Pitching with Spit

You don’t see the spitball anymore … because MLB made it illegal in 1921.

Angry Spit

But the most famous spit in baseball history came from the Baltimore Oriole Roberto Alomar, who spat in the face of umpire John Hirschbeck on Sept. 27, 1996. 

Alomar was suspended five games for the incident.

Particularly outfielder Dewayne Wise, who took away a Home Run with a laping catch in the top of the ninth to preserve the Shutout, the No-Hitter, and the Perfect Game and vault Buehrle’s name into conversations about whether he’ll be a Hall of Famer.

No doubt – a catch like that is deserving of a gift from the pitcher to his Perfect-Game-Saving fielder. 

A big gift. 

Well, here it is.  Buehrle gave Wise (and his other teammates) a bottle of Crown Royal XR  … with a personalized bag no less.

I like the idea.  A perfect game is Extra Rare, so why not a bottle of Extra Rare booze?

But I would think that Dewayne Wise deserved bigger than a bottle of Canadian Whisky that you can get for $136 on the intarwebs – seems a little bit cheap as recognition for being the saver of an event that happens once every 17,000 games to me. 

A $200 gift (I’m including the embroidery on the bag) seems cheap for such a contribution – especially considering Buehrle is in the midst of a $56 Million contract.  I was thinking Buehrle would at least get him a cool ride – like Buehrle’s giant Ford F-650 Dominator truck.

You know, the booze could explain the White Sox’ 1-5 record and .214 batting average since the Perfect Game.

 H/T:  MPS

Here goes (albeit quickly)

There’s three days left to determine the July monthly cash prize … and something called ZARG 4 leads everybody with 69 Home Runs in July.  He’s trailed by Jedi Baseball (67) and Brett Favre Comeback Tour (66 HR).

I had a hard time figuring out what the heck a “ZARG” was to make the appropriate avatar (and the team owner hasn’t responded to emails) so I took a stab at it as a Calvin and Hobbes reference.  If it’s not a made-up word, the only other thing I think it could be is a predator that was once on the old Babylon 5 TV show.

Two weeks into the Second Half, and it’s a 42-Homer tie between It’s a New Century and Jules.

That’s right … the Second Half is being co-led by my six-year-old daughter (she made her own picks).  That’s her running the bases at Miller Park a couple years ago. 

ZARG 4 (41 HR), Wrigley Drunks (41 HR), and ChiTown Kaz (40 HR) round out the 2nd Half leaderboard.

In the full season standings, the top three are still the same – but their order has changed.

Both David Wright can Bite Me (297 HR) and Heavy Hitters (295 HR) leapt past Aural Sects (294 HR) on the leaderboard. 

There’s an 8-HR cushion between the bottom of the leaderboard and the top of the also-rans.  One of these days, Coop Cooper, ChiTownKaz, BackBackBackBack, or RDRR are going to make a run at the leaders.

But that’s not the case in the other fields around America, where cameras are taking a beating from baseballs …  whether it be batted or thrown.

Here’s a clip from the Little League World Series a couple years ago.  Take it away, Brent Musburger.

Click here to view the embedded video.

That’s not the only time a pitch has hit a camera behind the plate.  Here’s another pitcher who’s throwing …. juuust a bit outside

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Seriously … Why else would you set up a camera in a batting cage?

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

But this is my favorite of them all – and it doesn’t even involve a camera getting destroyed … watch as some guy’s camera bag makes the catch of the century on a pop foul behind home plate.

Click here to view the embedded video.

We could have some bad blood between the two biggest sluggers in the NL Central.  And it’s all about how you wear your uniform.

Here’s a quote from St. Louis Cardinals 1B Albert Pujols in an interview with USA Today …

“I see teams take their jerseys out when the game is over,” he says. “To me, that’s not professional. I don’t care what you do when you get off the field, but don’t do it on the field.”

“You don’t want kids to see negative things.”

Intriguingly, Pujols didn’t name any of those teams who “take their jerseys out” … or even one team … so we’ll do it for you. 

It’s the Milwaukee Brewers, a team once again vying with the Cardinals for the NL Central crown.  And there was bad blood from the Cardinals last year about the untucking practice, too.  Last fall, Cardinals TV Announcer Rick Horton said it was the most disrespectful thing he’s ever seen (that’s from memory – I don’t have a quote). 

Keeping that in mind, let’s go back to last Monday’s Home Run Derby.  In Busch Stadium, home of Albert Pujols and his St. Louis Cardinals.

Who won that contest?  Oh yeah … Prince Fielder of the aforementioned Brewers … and known shirt untucker after game-winning Home Runs.

OH-NO-HE-DIDN’T just untuck his jersey …

….Right in front of Pujols, who underperformed all the projections that he would run away with the Derby this season.  Right in front of all those Cardinals fans who take umbrage at the untucking ritual. 

Now, I’m pretty damn sure Fielder didn’t do it to mock the Cardinals. 

But why do the Brewers do it?  Well, it’s not done just to ruffle the feathers of the Redbirds … there’s a reason to it -

Veteran outfielder Mike Cameron has done it for years as a tribute to his father, a blue-collar worker who untucked his shirt at the end of the work day.

Brewers players adopted the practice to honor Cameron, who is held in high regard among his peers.

I wonder if Pujols knows that story. 

To me, that doesn’t sound so disrespectful.  I certainly don’t see it as a “negative thing” to untuck your shirt to honor your father … or do it for a teammate.  Untucking your shirt – It seems kinda fun, actually.

A negative thing would be slashing one’s throat while looking at the team you just beat … or mooning their fans after you scored a touchdown or something. 

Speaking of which, I wonder where Joe Buck weighs in on untucking?

Does Pujols look down his nose at professional soccer players who rip off their shirt after scoring a goal?  Maybe Pujols is just a big tool that can’t have any fun.  His Nickname, after all, is “The Machine.”

Prince Albert has gotten his knickers in a twist in the past.  Remember when he said Ryan Howard shouldn’t have won the MVP in 2006 because his team wasn’t in the playoffs (and the Cardinals were), only to have to eat his words when the opposite happened last fall?

Come down off the high horse, Mr. Pujols.  Lighten up and have some fun.

Anyway, the First Half of the season is complete.  Which means it’s time to dole out some cash.

Congratulations to DAVID WRIGHT CAN BITE ME!  DWCBM finished the season with 261 Home Runs.  He’ll be rewarded with $250 for his finish atop the standings.

Lesser props to Aural Sects (260 HR and $100) and The Heavy Hitters (259 HR and $50) who finished 2nd and 3rd, respectively.  In the end, a mere two Home Runs separated 1st place from Third Place.

Going into the last day before the All-Star Break, it was pretty tight atop the leaderboard.  David Wright can Bite Me and Aural Sects both had 259 HR with Heavy Hitters a mere three dingers back at 256.  Anything could happen. 

But through 15 games on Sunday, the leaderboard hadn’t seen much action.  Only two balls had left the building for the top three.  One by Jim Thome for Heavy Hitters and one by Nelson Cruz for Aural Sects and nada for DWCBM.  Which meant that heading into the Sunday Night showdown betweeb the Cubs and Cardinals … Aural Sects had the lead, 260-259 over DWCBM.  Heavy Hitters was at 257 with no chance of catching DWCBM.

Both teams had Albert Pujols.  Only Aramis Ramirez or Ryan Ludwick could save the day for David Wright can Bite Me.  And damned if he didn’t do it with two Home Runs against the Cubs.  One HR would have been sufficient, since DWCBM held the AB/HR tiebreaker … but Ludwick erased any doubt of who the 2009 1st Half Champion was …. David Wright Can Bite Me.

This first half will be pretty sweet for Nick the Greek, who’s watched the real David Wright become a non-force in the Derby (only 5 HR) – but even morseo when he finds out who the owner of Aural Sects is. 

It’s about time one of the original members of this fair Home Run Derby contest made it back on the wall of the HRD Hall of Fame.  Even better that it was two of them.

Mind you, it was the lowest total for a 1st Half Champion since 2004.

DWCBM will look to be complete the first HRD Sweep in four years.  But it won’t be easy … as the past three years, the First Half Champ has not won either the Second Half or Full Season Crown.

Everyone in the Derby has a shot at the Second Half Crown, as we start at zero.  Plus, there’s three monthly prizes to compete for as well.

Everyone has a chance to win something.  Keep paying attention … and thanks for playing!

Or so he tells and shows us.  Over and Over.

Like last night during the All-Star game when he wore his White Sox jacket to throw out the first pitch (not so sure I liked that) and told Joe Buck and Tim “Corpse” McCarver he was a fan of the White Sox.

Not to mention a few times on the campaign trail last spring, summer, and fall.  And an interview on ESPN where he took a few digs at Cub fans.

But if he’s such a big White Sox fan, why doesn’t he know the name of their home stadium? 

Case in point:  President Obama referred the White Sox’ ballpark as ”Cominskey Field” during an interview on MLB TV with Bob Costas.  It used to be called Comiskey Park.

Roll Video …

Click here to view the embedded video.

“I do think that there’s a different quality to what used to be Cominskey Field vs. Wrigley”

Oh boy.  That’s like calling the Cubs’ stadium “Wrigley Park” instead of “The World’s Largest Outdoor Bar.”   A White Sox fan would rip a new backside into any Cub fan who did that.

Even if he had said “Cominskey Park”, I could see it as a slip of the tongue.  But Cominskey FIELD?   Obama moved to Chicago in 1985.  Back when the old Comiskey Park was still around. 

Teleprompter comment in 3 … 2 … 1 …

Congratulations to Wendy H, who won HomerDerby.com’s 2009 Home Run Derby Contest!! 

Her entry, Woo Woo Crew, had the most Home Runs (53) and won the contest on a tiebreaker.

Here’s her selections:

• First Round: Albert Pujols (7)*, Prince Fielder (11), Nelson Cruz (11), Carlos Pena (6)*
• Second Round: Albert Pujols (6), Prince Fielder (6)
• Champion: Prince Fielder (6)
• Tiebreaker – HR Derby Champ Total HR:  16

*Includes Bat-Off HRs.

It came down to the first tiebreaker.  Failcouer Forever also had 53 HR, but predicted a total of 37 Home Runs for the HR Derby Champion.  Prince Fielder hit 23 bombs.  Woo Woo Crew was off by 7.  Failcouer Forever was off by 14.  Woo Woo wins. 

Here’s the comparison of their teams  …

Home Run Derby Contest Results

I feel kinda bad for Joe of Failcouer Forever, since he picked every player that moved on to the next round.   But the contest was based on Points for Home Runs hit by Your Players and not Points per Correct Pick. 

Them’s the breaks – there was no 2nd Prize.

Some stats on the Derby Contest.

•  We had over 500 entries.  I’m impressed by that number considering all the server trouble we had on Monday.
• Albert Pujols was picked as Champion by over 50% of the entries.   
• Only 9% took the actual champ, Prince Fielder.
• Only three entries picked the combo of Prince Fielder and Nelson Cruz as the Finalists. 
• Seven entries took Brandon Inge as their Champion.  That was Dumb.
• The perfect score would have been 56 HR.  Pujols-Cruz-Fielder-Howard, Fielder-Howard, Fielder.
• One entry correctly predicted the entire Derby progression.  He lost in a tiebreaker.
• No one picked the 13-HR sucktastic loser combo of Gonzalez-Inge-Pena-Mauer - the players eliminated in the 1st round.  I thought someone would have picked it and I could have ripped on them.  But …
• One person picked the 14-HR loser combo of Pujols-Gonzalez-Mauer-Inge with Inge beating Gonzalez in the Final.  Jason of Willie Mays Hays … you are the fart catcher of this contest.  Anti-Congrats.

Because of the aforementioned server trouble, some people who tried to submit entries got timed out and we did not receive their submissions.  If you didn’t get a confirmation page, you didn’t get in.  I tried to test it myself a bunch of times and it crapped out on me every time before the “Congrats you entered the Derby!!” page came up.

Awesome traffic is the combined blessing and curse of having a website named Home Run Derby on Home Run Derby day.

I feel terrible about the fact that people who wanted into the contest couldn’t get in.  I was constantly on the phone with my webhost and pounding my fist knowing that there were people locked out. 

By the way, the people at InMotion Hosting did an truly incredible job of working with us to keep the site up as much as they did.  If we were still using BlueHost (worst … customer service … ever) the site would probably still would be down.

We’re working on ways to keep this from happening next year.

We’ll be having more contests later this season!!

There will be much pomp and circumstance and many Cardinals fans will cheer very loudly for our Commander-in-Chief as he throws out the first pitch … even though it will kill any chance the Cardinals have for winning the World Series in 2009. 

Why?  

Well, no MLB team that’s had a sitting President throw out the first pitch at a game in their Home Stadium has won that year’s World Series in over 77 years.

Now mind you - about half of this 77-year streak can be directly blamed on the futility of the Washington Senators.  From 1931-1969, a sitting president didn’t throw a ball unless the game was played in DC – and the Senators only appeared in one World Series during that span (1933 – they lost).

In 1970, the Senators went to Texas to become the Rangers, forcing presidents to do their throwing exercises in other venues - but the jinx continued … fifteen other teams have had a president throw out a first pitch 26 times over the past 39 seasons (nine times in Baltimore) … and none of them has won the World Series that season.  Here’s a full list of Presidential First Pitches.

In fact – of these 15 teams, five of them have gone to the World Series that season … and lost. 

• 1970 Cincinnati Reds – President Richard Nixon threw out the first pitch before the 1970 All-Star Game.  The Reds lost to the Baltimore Orioles in the World Series.
• 1979 Baltimore Orioles – President Jimmy Carter threw out the first pitch before Game Seven of the 1979 World Series.  The Pirates beat the Os.
• 2001 New York Yankees – In the shadow of 9/11, President George W. Bush threw out an emotional first pitch before Game 3 of the World Series.  But the Yankees fell to the Arizona Diamondbacks in seven games.
• 2004 St. Louis Cardinals – President Bush threw out a pitch at Busch Stadium and the Cardinals had the best record in the Major Leagues.  But the Cards got swept in the World Series by the Boston Red Sox.

Now, you might think this is just a gigantic coincidence, but consider this -

• In 1983, President Ronald Reagan was scheduled to throw out the first pitch before Game One of the World Series in Baltimore.  But due to a security risk, he didn’t do it (First Lady Nancy Reagan did).  And the Orioles went on to win the World Series.
• In 1994, President Bill Clinton threw out the first pitch at Jacobs Field for the Cleveland Indians.  There was no World Series in 1994 due to a players’ strike.  But the jinx would not be denied … the Indians went to the World Series in 1995 … and lost to the Braves.

The last president to throw a pitch in the home park of the that season’s World Series Champion was President Herbert Hoover.  Hoover did the honors in Philly before the 1930 World Series, in which the Philadelphia Athletics beat the St. Louis Cardinals. 

For a while, Hoover was Philly’s good luck charm – when he attended A’s games (including the decisive Game 5 of the 1929 World Series), the A’s won.  Up until the 1931 World Series, that is.  Hoover was slated to throw out the first pitch of Game 3 of  … but he got tied up with pre-game photographers and the game started before he could throw out the first pitch.  The A’s lost the series.

Only two other teams have accomplished the feat – the New York Yankees and the Washington Senators.  The Yankees won in 1923 after Warren G Harding threw out a pitch at Yankee Stadium in April.   In 1924, Calvin Coolidge threw out the first pitch before the Game 1 of Washington’s only World Series Championship – but he did the same thing in1925 and the Senators lost.

Of course, this might all be moot with President Obama. 

In 2005, then Senator Barack Obama threw out the first pitch for the Chicago White Sox during the playoffs and the Sox won the World Series that season.  And Obama already proved he’s able to break baseball-related jinxes.