Here comes the bride...

A girl's best friend

2009-11-19T16:13:04Z

Where would we be without our friends?

Just as I was starting to get the overwhelming feeling I was drowning in wedding tasks, my best pal Lisa instinctively came to the rescue.

As far as I'm concerned everyone needs a friend like her. We are two peas in a pod, but for the all-important difference that she is super organised. When she says we are doing something, it really is going to happen and usually pretty quickly.

I wish I was like that - Chris and I are 'talkers', the 'why do something today you can put off until tomorrow' types. So Lisa's visit last weekend was exactly what we needed.

Come Sunday night, we had our final (colour co-ordinated) guest list finished - we started at 120 people and culled down to 76.

Plus we had drawn up, and decorated, a very pretty countdown chart assigning tasks to each month, and found time to discuss and research the hen night.

Think that's impressive? In those two days we also fitted in a shopping spree and celebrated her birthday.

According to my new organiser chart - one A4 page per month complete with clip art - our next rendezvous will be at Bickleigh next month for the tastings.

I am thinking of that visit as a well-deserved reward for our recent invitation ordeal. But in the mean time there is plenty to do, and certainly no time to shirk responsibilities... Lisa has a copy of the chart too and left promising to check up on my progress.

The Christmas countdown

2009-11-05T15:41:54Z

Where has this year gone? Already November is here and the incessant Christmas chatter has begun - for those people already bragging about starting or indeed finishing their shopping, its not impressive... frankly it's just depressing.

I am not some sort of festive Scrooge. After all what's not to love about presents, food, family, guilt-free chocolate for breakfast and seasonal slurps of alcohol?

No, my need to put December off for as long as possible is because I can feel time slipping away - not, I should point out, in some morbid way. Purely in terms of planning.

You see Christmas was a great midway point when it came to setting deadlines.

Choosing and sending the invitations? We can concentrate on that after Christmas. Bridesmaids and their dresses? That can wait until the New Year. Groom's outfit? We'll think about that in January.

So I have in actual fact set myself up for a horrendously busy and super-productive start to 2010.

I know it will be fine - we still have eight months and counting until the wedding. But I wouldn't be me if there wasn't an air of worry and panic when it comes to something this important.

I think for my own sanity I shall set myself one little(ish) task to accomplish come Christmas - say choosing the invites.

And thankfully there is great news on that front already. As I speak, handmade samples are winging their way to me courtesy of the very creative and talented Sabrina - a real star who is now totally invaluable to me.

So you see, things are looking up already!

Little and large - a tale of two wedding ring fittings

2009-10-28T13:32:27Z

Last week I finally managed to drag Chris along to my bridal dress shop to have his wedding ring fitted.

We learned two things from this experience - firstly, I have particularly slim fingers. Secondly Chris does not.

Thanks to my engagement ring, I already knew my size alphabet-wise. But since the fittings are being done in-house there was a new, not very tricky, method to comprehend; swapping letters for numbers.

So out came the six or so size cards - likened by my husband-to-be to a spaghetti measure - each punched with five holes each. And unsurprisingly I was the smallest, an eight.

That done, it was over to the groom. Knowing Chris has got what I affectionately refer to as ham hands, I knew he was going to be needing the cards towards the very back of the pile.

What I did not anticipate was that none of the samples would fit. And quite incredibly they went up to a size 24.

That left us with no choice but to order him a size 26 in a white gold flat band, and the female equivalent for me but in the curved design.

While I resorted to childishly hiding my giggles, Chris was not fazed one bit by that potentially embarrassing episode.

I am assuming this is down to his decision not to wear his wedding band anyway - apparently jewellery is not his thing.

That said it is obviously important to make sure it's clear he is off the market once we are married, so I'm taking steps to come up with some other ways to brand him.

Who's in and who's out - a 'minor' invite mishap

2009-10-19T14:39:10Z

This weekend Chris and I decided to draw up an official guest list.

Before my friends/family/wedding organiser start to panic, we had of course already written down who would be getting an invite. But since this is a weekend affair and arrivals will be spread over 3 days, I thought it would be only sensible to decide exactly which people would be coming when.

And in theory it was a great idea. Sitting down to actually do it? Not so much.

We wanted around 70 people to join us for the ceremony and the breakfast, and around 120 for the reception.

Imagine our horror when we totted up our provisional 'day and night' list and realised we were about 40 people over. Ten extra guests, you can get away with. Anything much more than that, and some serious re-evaluating needs to happen.

So there we are on a Sunday afternoon and facing some really tough decisions - ones that we didn't always agree on.

In the end we walked away. It was too hard and horrible. But it did raise the question - where do you draw the line with plus ones?

We have the room for everyone to come to the reception, but not for the sit-down meal. And I am not sure how politically correct it is to invite one half of a couple and ask the other to join us later.

But if we don't do that we put ourselves in the absurd position of swapping out our real friends and family to make room for people we just don't know.

I guess this is my first experience of the dark 'political' side of weddings, and it really is not fun. All we can do is keep our fingers crossed that those affected will understand, it is after all a matter of space - renovations just aren't included in our wedding package.

First wedding meeting...done!

2009-10-06T16:24:52Z

Chris and I have been for our first ever wedding meeting at Bickleigh Castle... finally!

We were, of course, not alone. My in-laws came along for the ride - well actually they provided it - and Alex and Sabrina met us there.

I had been so excited, and admittedly a little nervous, about the get-together. After waiting so long to visit, I had no idea at what stage planning-wise I should be at with nine months to go before the big day.

And so I did my usual trick of worrying about pretty much everything - unnecessarily as it turned out.

The million and one problems running through my mind as we pulled up in Tiverton soon dissipated thanks to my fantastic wedding co-ordinator.

Sharon really is one in a million. There is no way Chris and I could pull this wedding off without her and we both feel very lucky to have her on our team!

Aside from being super-organised - her checklist is the stuff people like me can only dream of - she put me immediately at ease. It really didn't feel like only the third time I had met her or owner Sarah, who had thoughtfully teamed up with Sharon to give me a belated birthday cake!

And as it turned out, Chris and I haven't been doing too badly! Focus points for us right now are the photographer and sorting out the reception music - all very do-able.

Everything else seems to come down to the six-week meeting, at which point I hope Chris will have a better idea of what type of cutlery he would like. Yes, this was a subject that was briefly broached but one look at the groom's face and Sharon wisely anticipated this might be a bit much for him at this point.

I could get really carried away with this blog there is so much to share. But in order to do it all justice I will save some for next time.

There is just one more wedding-related piece of news.

Thank you so much to lovely Sabs who has very kindly offered to help design our wedding invites and other stationary.

Her beautiful handmade birthday cards not only put me to shame but are more than enough to convince me she is the perfect lady for the job. Just another perk to becoming a Strong I guess!

Brothers: The very best of best men

2009-09-24T14:56:23Z

One of the perks to planning your own wedding is celebrating each landmark step. So naturally Chris and I are embracing every single one.

We have toasted everything from the arrival of the save the date cards, to choosing the castle, to finding my wedding dress - admittedly celebrating something we couldn't talk about was an odd experience.

And there were more smiles in the Hollingsworth/Strong residence this week. Chris chose his best man. Make that best men - his two younger brothers Al and Steve.

This is good news for me on a number of different levels. For starters my future brothers-in-law will do an amazing job on the day. They both know around ninety per cent of our guests so they will have no problem bringing everyone together and helping organise the weekend.

And, loathed though I am to admit this and risk further increasing their egos, their speech will no doubt be absolutely brilliant - a real double act. As Chris put it, they will bounce off each other like Penn & Teller. Hmmm.

But, of course, we won't just benefit on the day. Oh no. With his best men chosen, Chris actually has a chance of having a stag do which, frankly, would never have happened if it had been left to him to organise.

And then there was the problem of the groom party's wedding outfits. For the last two months, my man's 'sole' contribution to any clothing-related discussions has been to inform me - in no uncertain terms - that he will be wearing spats to our wedding. As in the black and white shoes.

Needless to say he definitely won't be. So having the input of his two brothers, one of whom is so immaculately groomed he could be a Topman mannequin, can only be a good thing.

By the time we get married, I will have known Al and Steve for ten years and there is no-one who I would rather have standing by Chris' side at our wedding...provided they follow my rules!

Birthday blues and stage one of the life plan

2009-09-17T15:42:06Z

On Tuesday it was my 26th birthday. Unlike my other half who will be hyperventilating come his 30th, getting older does not freak me out - although I think I might start screening out any potential new 'younger' friends.

But this year I did feel a little funny about it. And not one to let such a prime opportunity pass by, Chris took great pains to pick my birthday card this year.

Scanning over anything vaguely romantic that might act as a nod to our impending nuptials, he not only picked up the very first card he's ever given me referring to 'old age', but in fact the first one I have ever received. Ever.

Perhaps he forgot about turning 28 in December?! Watch out Mr Strong...

Anyway, I think the real reason behind my birthday-related worries is because I have now reached the age I will be when I become a Mrs.

And I don't feel any wiser, or any more or less ready than I did last year, or the year before that, or the year before that.

But, on the other hand, it is hugely exciting. Every girl has some kind of a plan - any ladies who deny it are probably lying - concerning life's milestones, namely babies and marriage. And I guess this is my first step.

So this time in ten months, yes just ten months, I will be a 26-year-old wife... one who is, hopefully, still on her honeymoon. And this gives us approximately three years before we move to stage two of Gemma's life plan. But we are definitely not ready to talk about that just yet.

All systems, go, go, go!

2009-09-09T16:02:20Z

Good news on a lot of fronts this week. Firstly our 'save the date' cards finally arrived on Tuesday which is a huge relief because my daily interceptions of the postman were beginning to make me look a little - very - desperate.

We have also arranged our first proper wedding meeting at Bickleigh Castle which, for me, is beyond exciting.

I've been holding back on really committing to anything wedding-y until the first meeting was done and dusted. But come the end of the month I will finally be fully unleashed on the bridal community - friends and family, you have been warned.

The other very exciting part of arranging the visit is that it also marks the start of Chris' pre-wedding fitness regime. So he tells me. Which, as far as I am concerned, is a good thing - I bought him some new trainers five months ago that have never seen the outside of their box let alone the light of day.

And finally on the subject of new news, Chris and I recently took the plunge and opened our first ever joint bank account especially for the wedding.

It was the obvious and sensible thing to do and it's going to make keeping our budget on track much easier. There is, of course, the one downside, but I will just have to find another financial source for those very occasional sneaky purchases!

The fine balance for the perfect hen do

2009-09-02T13:46:37Z

I am having a dilemma when it comes to my hen night. Last month I was pretty certain I knew what I wanted, but one magazine article later, and I am struggling with my decision.

I have never been to New York before - correction, I have never been to America - so a girly weekend in the Big Apple sounded perfect - think Sex And The City chic.

And then I read a real 'spanner in the works' article; two women arguing the cases for and against what are considered 'extravagant' hen and stag do's. Apparently mine falls into that category.

After nodding along to the pro's, I was struck by feelings of guilt half way through the con's article. The writer was asking why brides expect their friends to spend big sums on a hen night when they already have to pay up for things like wedding presents - though we don't want any - and accommodation.

Am I being incredibly selfish? While there are plenty of good deals around, a New York event would definitely cost more than, say a night out in Southampton...

But then I really don't want a hen night that could in effect be just another Saturday night out minus the obligatory L plates, bunny ears and veil. For the record none of these novelty items will be coming anywhere near me.

With a little help I think I have come up with a solution - a spa weekend. That way the girls can choose to just pay for their accommodation or add on treatments depending on their pay packets.

Anyway, as I continue to overanalyse every single decision - I know I am doing it but I can't seem to stop! - Chris informs me the plans for his stag do will soon be underway. His choice? A lads' weekend in Vegas...yes, it really is so much easier being a boy!

My philosophical rise above wedding day obsessiveness

2009-08-19T14:44:54Z

Saturday was my dad's anniversary - not usually an event I like to acknowledge. Since I miss him everyday, I have come to realise I would rather keep busy and happy than sitting around feeling sad just because I should.

But with the combination of being on my own - Chris was working - and getting married, I took a different approach this time around. And not in a mournful way either, in fact taking 'reflection time' has had quite a profound impact on my outlook for the wedding.

I realised you can spend hours caught up in the trivialities of the big day, obsessing over the most minor details and trying, and failing, to keep everyone happy. And god knows I am guilty of that.

Which is all well and good, but when it really comes down to it...who cares what colour napkins you have, or whether guest x will be upset if they only get a reception invite. I have begun to obsess over things I would never care about in the 'real world', and I think it is time I refocused.

Looking at the bigger picture has made me really quite philosophical. Don't get me wrong, I will still have moments when I feel devastated that neither of my parents will be at my wedding. And I will sometimes feel a little jealous of other brides who can pick up the phone to their mum or dad.

But this week, at any rate, I am only seeing positives. Any wedding is an amazing celebration, and both Chris and I will be surrounded by people that love and support us.

And my parents would have been so happy and proud of both of us - although I can be fairly sure dad would have arranged for a ladder outside my window the night before... just in case!

Desperately seeking distractions...

2009-08-13T15:22:53Z

I am officially in a wedding planning-lull. So much so that I have back-tracked on my earlier decision not to get any 'save the date' cards and have in fact ordered 100...from Canada.

And yes, by the time they do actually arrive, we may as well have just sent out the invites. But I recently came to realise I need to feel things are constantly progressing on the wedding front.

I think this has a lot to do with the fact I feel a little overwhelmed by the whole planning process and I want to feel one step ahead. So, to combat this, I keep trying to add to the work load. Obviously.

While I am on the theme of creating extra jobs for myself, I had a phone call this week from the director - no less! - of my wedding dress shop asking me to go in for a fitting, and also requesting we both stop by to get our rings measured.

And - I may well be getting carried away here cost-wise - I'm now not 100 per cent sure I want the free rings. I have seen them and admittedly they look fine, just like most plain white gold bands in fact. But I am just not sure if we should choose our own.

Even reading this back I can tell I am a little frustrated - Chris isn't even going to wear his wedding band!

And here is why. I am still waiting for our first wedding meeting - our lack of organisation, not Bickleigh's - and I am desperate for a new task to keep my mind occupied.

So before I start to turn my attentions to the world of wedding flowers - god forbid - I am going to begin my wifely duties tonight. I will nag my husband-to-be until he settles on a final date!

The best possible present from my brother

2009-08-06T14:13:09Z

This week I have had some amazing news. My brother James has agreed to make a speech at the wedding.

For anyone who knows my younger sibling, this is a really big deal. Public speaking would be on the list of the top ten things James most hates doing.

And I can't say I blame him, it wouldn't be something I would be leaping around in excitement over either. But it definitely doesn't bother me as much as it does him, which is why it means the world to me that he has said yes.

I should point out; he has had a change of heart. A couple of years ago, when Chris and I were first considering getting married - we have come close a couple of times; in 2006 we even made it as far as the National Wedding Fair! - I told James he would have to step up and walk me down the aisle.

Before I said another word, he turned to me and said that of course he would give me away but that I shouldn't expect him to do the 'father of the bride' speech because "that will never happen."

Who knows what changed his mind? I am not sure, but he can't go back now - I have witnesses!

It will be one of the proudest moments of my life when James does stand up and say something, even if it is just a few words. And, as he pointed out, he has just under a year to write a speech and practice it, by which time he might even get used to the idea and - dare I say it - enjoy his moment in the spotlight!

As a little extra, I just want to say congratulations to one of my best friends Cheryse and her lovely boyfriend Joe who got engaged this week - here's to the happy couple!

Putting in the practice for my new name

2009-07-30T14:39:26Z

Earlier this week, we were going through the mountains of paperwork in the spare room looking for bank statements, when, amongst all the old magazines, degree essays and piles of receipts, I came across a school exercise book.

Not that interesting, granted, but as I flicked through I saw the back few pages were completely dedicated to the great loves in my life. Well the ones from my fifth form anyway.

Alongside the usual 'Gemma Loves Chris' and 'GH 4 CS' doodles, as well as various others - I also found it necessary to document the love lives of all my friends - the 16-year-old me had practiced my signature... as Gemma Strong. Just in case my new boyfriend of about three weeks and I ever decided to marry.

In my defence I would like to think I intuitively knew Chris was the one for me, rather than face the possibility my behaviour was a little creepy!

So you see, having made some minor adjustments to my earlier attempts, this is one aspect of married life I am all over. And rather than being freaked out - well maybe a little - Chris seemed quite touched by my adolescent efforts. In fact he even chose a favourite.

Save the date cards vs sending out the invites

2009-07-22T14:21:33Z

With the dress and the venue both found, it dawned on Chris and I this week we should probably think about actually inviting people to the wedding. Announcing the date on Facebook doesn't count.

Priding ourselves on our organisation, we wanted to send out 'Save the date' cards to everyone ahead of the actual invites, which would follow with accommodation details, maps, and all that kind of thing.

So that was my next project, and I searched high and low for cards that were 'us' - not too formal but which didn't look like something a five-year-old had knocked up. Nothing jumped out so I got Lisa on the case as well. Still no luck.

Last night Chris and I sat down after work and searched online together. Bearing in mind most people want these type of cards in bulk, there really aren't many options on the market. It seems that magnets are the way forward, which was an idea I was warming to, but one that Chris immediately ruled out.

We came across a website which offered a create-your-own postcards service so we spent about an hour having a go at that. Actually an hour might be generous; we uploaded a photo and wrote maybe ten words of text.

Having previewed the finished product a few times and repeatedly jiggled the wording up and down, we hit the checkout button. You see while we liked it, we obviously didn't love it, a fact that became evident when it came to paying... we didn't want to. Closing the tab we agreed to sleep on it and finish tomorrow.

With the morning, also came our senses. Well his at least. As Chris headed out the door this morning, he said: "You know, I was thinking. Maybe we should just do invitations. We can still send them out soon and then forward on further details nearer the time."

And that I think is what we are going to do. It will save us a good £80 - not including postage - and I am excited to get going with the invites, despite the fact most of my friends say its one of the worst parts of organising a wedding. So now we have some brand new stationary decisions to make. Chris is thrilled!

Unexpectedly finding - and buying - the dream dress

2009-07-16T15:28:38Z

The most extraordinary thing happened to me yesterday. At 5.30pm I walked into my second ever bridal shop and re-emerged three hours later considerably poorer but very very happy. Yes, I did it - I bought my wedding dress. Just like that.

This trip was not meant to include buying of any description - it was an exercise in window shopping, and there weren't even that many dresses I liked. There was a lot of lace, and I do mean a lot, and, Laura and I agreed, quite a few of the gowns were for, what I would describe as, the more mature lady.

But we found eight lovely dresses, and I put on my (borrowed) white heels and the underskirt ready for a few more hours of dress-up. It was number six. I loved it when she pulled it out of its bag, and loved it even more once it was on. A temporary refitting later, courtesy of some big bulldog clips, and an extravagantly long veil awkwardly pinned in my hair, and I was in heaven.

By this point, I had already established this shop was considerably cheaper than the first, guaranteeing me extra brownie points with the groom! So, obviously still wearing the dress - it took a while to coax me out of it - we asked about the price. It was around £700 less than all the rest. £700! And not only that, the dress also comes with two wedding bands.

And then came the catch. Oh come on, of course there would be a catch! There is only enough material for one more of these dresses to be made, the lady told us. So if anyone comes in and orders it, then that is that, no more. (To all the cynics out there, yes this is in fact true!)

Just my luck. I was in complete and utter turmoil. Could I really be so frivolous and spontaneous as to just buy it there and then? It was only my second shop and it was a lot of money to be putting down on such a spur of the moment decision. So I said I would think about it.

I promptly called Chris, who tried his best to offer advice on a dress he had never seen while my moods rapidly switched between ecstasy and anguish. No real help there. So Laura suggested I have night's sleep and if I decided I wanted it, to go back the next morning before work. Back we went to the shop (again) to tell the lady the plan. We were halfway home before I stopped in my tracks, turned to Laura and told her we were going back.

As we walked through the shop door for the third and final time that evening, I gave the lady a smile, and her exact words were 'Hallelujah'. A quick strip-off for measurements and a (painful) swipe of my card and it was done. And because I was so pleased with how much I had just saved I threw in the underskirt and the over-the-top veil too!!

There have been moments today when my big purchase slips my mind, and then I have that wonderful feeling when I remember it again. So despite my cynicism when it came to the 'you'll know it when you have it on' speech, it seems that, for me at least, that really was the case.