Heart(h) Management: Keeping the Home Fires Burning

The Art and Science of Being on Time

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 13:01:00 +0000

Image by le vent le cri

I've never been a person who was punctual--aside from being born on my due date. That's the last time in about thirty years that I arrived on time.

I believe it was my tenth birthday that my parents gave me "my very own alarm clock!" Like they were trying to make it all exciting about getting myself out of bed on time. This was no ordinary alarm clock. Oh, no. This alarm clock was special. Because in order to wake my ten year old self, you pretty much needed a fog horn. And that's what this alarm clock sounded like. A fog horn. And I still managed to sleep through it. (Much to my sisters' vexation.) I would have a dream that I was getting out of bed and turning it off. And then keep on sleeping. And then be late, again.

As I grew older, I was late for church. Babysitting appointments. Jobs. College classes. And so on.

Now, you add in the variables of a husband and small children and you've got a recipe that's bound to keep the tardiness going till the end of time.

Except. Except I learned that I didn't always have to be late. Apparently there isn't really a tardiness gene. I know. Can you believe it? I always though that, too. That I was just late, because that's the kind of person I am. Nope. Punctuality isn't a talent or a gene or a cute little skill to put on one's resume. It's simply a habit--a habit that anyone can develop.

Here's what I learned on my way to being punctual:

1. Stop stealing.
Most of us wouldn't go into the Walmart and put something into our purse without paying for it. *Gasp!* That's stealing! Well, when someone is waiting for you, and you show up late, you're stealing their time. Yup. And time is one thing a person can never, ever get back. So, it's disrespectful, rude and dishonoring to be late.

2. Learn time currency.
I'm convinced that those of us who are perpetually late lack a sense of time "intuition". For instance, I don't think we're really aware of time passing as much as those who might seem to be naturally punctual. I don't think we're aware of how much time it really takes to do something. We need to become time aware--or learn how to use time currency.

Get a stopwatch and start timing how long it really takes you to do certain things. How long does it really take you to get ready in the morning? To get your children dressed? To eat breakfast? You get the idea. Start wearing a watch. Try to look at it every once in a while so you know what time it is.

Don't play time "tricks". Someone in my house likes to play time tricks. The six foot tall dark haired man will remain nameless to protect his reputation. He sets his alarm clock fifteen minutes fast in an effort to help him be more timely. Whether or not that works for him is not the point. If you're like me and you lack a sense of time awareness, these "tricks" will probably backfire on you. You'll end up telling yourself, "Oh, I have fifteen more minutes, it's OK." And you'll still be late. I say set your watch to the correct time and learn to interact properly with real time.

3. Plan ahead.
This one should be a no-brainer. But I rarely, if ever, planned ahead. Now I know to look at my appointment book to see where I need to be on a certain day. I write down what I'll need to take, what time I need to be there, and what time I need to be in the car. That last factor was a key to helping me be on time. As a person unaware of time currency, somehow travel time was meaningless to me. Like somehow I'd magically be able to travel a twenty minute distance in five.

4. Build systems that work.
Systems are basically habits you build into your life to make things work more efficiently. As a naturally tardy person, getting to church on time--especially with little ones in tow--was the biggest challenge. So I developed a "get to church on time" system.

Every Saturday night, I gather everything that will need to go with us, and put it by the door--Bibles, diaper bags, purse, etc. I lay out clothes for me and for the boys. Sunday mornings I do things in a certain order and a certain way--every Sunday morning. Getting dressed, getting the boys dressed, taming their crazy hair, eating breakfast and so on. I've even managed to fit in fixing a travel mug of tea! Now that's something I never would have had time to do before!

5. Build in margin.
I take a two pronged approach here. First of all, I try to plan for the unexpected. With three small children, there's bound to be something unexpected, right? Someone who's got to go to the bathroom after you buckle them into their carseat. A two month old who wants to nurse again or spits up all over his clean clothes. Or a car that won't start because someone (the short, long haired woman will remain nameless to protect her reputation) left the reading light on in the car the night before. So, I plan for it. I don't know what it's going to be, but it's probably going to happen.

The second part of this is to avoid trying to fit in "one more thing" when I think I'm ahead of schedule. Let's face it--I'm still somewhat impaired when it comes to knowing time currency. Deciding to curl my hair (if I don't usually do this) at the last minute is a recipe for disaster. It will probably take longer than I expect, and I'll use up my margin that I needed for getting out the booster cables later.

6. Enjoy the peace.
I'm tellin' ya. There's just nothing like pulling out of the driveway with five minutes to spare, happy children, and parents who aren't agitated and irritable. Nothing like it. Being on time was such a novelty to me that it felt fun! Walking into a place five minutes early was exhilarating. But besides just being on time, the whole process of getting there was more peaceful. Kinder. Gentler. Sweeter.

Punctuality--you can do it!

Hearts Turned Towards Home: Joyce’s Story

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 09:30:00 +0000

The following is a guest post from Joyce at Joyfull Living and is the third installment of Hearts Turned Towards Home. If you are interested in sharing your story of how God turned your heart toward home, please click here.

What a blessing it is to share the journey of my heart being turned toward home. For me, it was a journey complete with second chances and the Lord doing a wonderful work my heart.

It was decided early in our marriage that when children came, I would be a stay at home mom. When our children were born, I quit my job to care for them. Although I was a stay at home mom technically, my heart was not home and I wasn't at home much either! The days were spent dragging my two young boys to my mothers house to watch soap operas, to town shopping or going out to lunch. We would hurry home when my husband got home to prepare dinner and do chores, but these were done with little effort or care. When the boys started school, I thought that I was not needed much at home and went to work full time.

Working Mom:

Supermom, I wasn't and that was learned quickly. Being gone all day then rushing home for homework, dinner, baths and bed put our family in a harried and disorganized state. I was unable to attend school functions, field trips or parties and when we tried to participate in sports, the routine became even more fierce and rushed. Many times dinner consisted of McDonald's eaten in the car.

Do You Have A Spiritual Vision?

That was the question the pastor on the radio asked one day on the way home from work. His question burned in my heart, “what am I looking for or striving with purpose to fulfill”? In all actuality, it was survival! My thoughts and plans reached no further than completing the day and moving into the next day! Realizing the importance of a goal or vision, something to be reaching toward, I asked the Lord what His vision was for my life.

God's Answer:

I often took a quick walk during break time at work. During the walk the Lord spoke into my heart clearly, “Your vision is your family, your family is your God given career and ministry.” It suddenly hit me that my family was divinely given to me and my home was my own sphere of appointed ministry. The Lord Himself, hand picked me for this task. Is there anything that deserves my time, effort or energy more than that high calling? NO! I realized that by being away from home so many hours and exerting my effort and energy at my job, my family was receiving the worst of my attention instead of my best, which was what they deserved. At work, I was pleasant, smiling and kind and at home I was rushed, grumpy and short on kindness and expressions of love.

Realization and Commitment:

I also realized how I had wasted those precious years when I was blessed to be at home. My days could have been spent building and cherishing my home instead of pursuing fun and pleasures. My heart yearned to go back home and make my home my career. My prayer included thanksgiving for God revealing to me my purpose and a surrender that if He would arrange the details, I would go back home with my heart intact.

His Way:

At this time our boys were ages 7 and 10. My husband and I did want more children, but had suffered three miscarriages in a row. Unable to face the heartbreak of losing any more, we decided that there would be no more children. We sold all of our baby equipment, clothes etc. We would not be needing these anymore. Can you guess what happened in our lives that completely surprised us? Yes, I was pregnant! Choosing to face this pregnancy with faith instead of fear, believing it was God's answer, we were blessed with a healthy baby boy and as we had agreed years ago, I came home.

She Buildeth Her Home:

In Proverbs 14:1, it tells that “a wise woman builds her home”. Building is a process and for me it continues to be a learning experience. For our home it meant me spending much of my time at home, meeting the needs of my family, seeking ways for the home to run more efficiently. It meant seeking God for the attitude of love, service and ministry to bless my home and family. It is a surrender of my desires at times in order to do what is best for others. It is also the highest blessing and sense of fulfillment to care for my family and mange my home.

Now that my youngest son is in school, I have returned to work part time. My job is flexible and the hours revolve around school hours and I am able to make those important school functions. My priorities are at home and family first. Balance is a key trait to hold it all together, but truly my heart has been turned toward home.

“For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:21

Joyce seeks to live out each day with the heart cry of “my soul shall be joyful in the Lord”. God has given abundant blessings with a wonderful husband of 20 years and three fantastic sons ranging from ages 18 to 8. You may visit Joyce’s blog – Joyfull Living at www.joybright.blogspot.com It is a place where she shares the details of an ordinary life filled with extraordinary joy!

Living Lovely

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Thu, 13 Aug 2009 09:30:00 +0000

The following is a guest post by Heidi from Mt. Hope Chronicles.

Recently, after an emotionally rough few months this past year, I became inspired and empowered to change my outlook on life. It all began with this video by Amy Krouse Rosenthal: The Beckoning of Lovely. It spoke to me loud and clear.

Lovely became my theme word for the year, and doubtless it will stay with me, even when this year is long gone.

When I looked up the meaning of lovely in the dictionary, these two definitions jumped off the page:

2. delightful for beauty, harmony, or grace

4. eliciting love by moral or ideal worth

The first definition spoke to me in two ways:

1) I need to look around me and notice the beautiful things in my life. They are very rarely big things, such as a vacation to the Bahamas. But every day, all day long (even on the rough days) there are little beautiful things in my life, if I will only take the time to see and acknowledge them.

Sometimes lovely is so small, we have to stop what we are doing to notice it. Sometimes lovely is disguised in the quotidian, and we must step outside of our normal point of view to recognize it.

A sticky kiss from the 2 year old covered in maple syrup. A cherry tree, just beginning to bloom. A husband wrestling on the living room floor with his three sons. A phone call from a friend.

2) I can create lovely in my life. Amy’s list is a tremendous place to start.

Make a grand entrance. Make do with what you have. Make a splash! Make it up as you go. Make out. Make a friend. Kiss and make up. Make someone's day. Make something pretty. Make music. Make peace.

The second definition was an overwhelming reminder that God has created each and every person in this world with moral and ideal worth. Do I treat my children, my husband, the grocery clerk, or the person who cut me off in traffic as if they possessed moral or ideal worth? Do I make them feel lovely? How can I project God’s love and grace to those I come in contact with throughout my day, or even in my thoughts as I go through life?

Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." ~Matthew 22:37-40

With God’s help, we all have the power to live lovely in our own lives. It doesn't matter how old you are, your gender, your financial bracket, or your political party. You don't need to be artistic or have a green thumb. You don't need 10 extra hours in your day. It doesn't matter if you are a stay-at-home mom, have a thriving career, or feel down-and-out. It isn't about perfection. It doesn't matter if your home is 8,000 square feet or 800.

Every one of us can make something.

We can make the most of our time here.

I am beginning a new Living Lovely series at Mt. Hope Chronicles. Each week, I’ll create a new Living Lovely Challenge for all who are interested in participating. The following week, I’ll post a Mr. Linky so that we each can share how we’ve used that inspiration in our lives. Come join me in Living Lovely!

Finally, brothers, whatever is true,

whatever is noble, whatever is right,

whatever is pure, whatever is lovely,

whatever is admirable

—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—

think about such things.

~Philippians 4:8

Heidi documents Living Lovely at her blog, Mt. Hope Chronicles. There she celebrates (in words and images) her journey as wife, home schooling mother of three rambunctious boys (7, 5, and almost 3), photographer, book collector, and lover of the little things.

You’re Gonna Miss This

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 07:31:00 +0000

Image by D. Sharon Pruitt

The following is a guest post by Amanda from Mommy's Idea Book.

Oh, I’ll be so glad when I don’t have to deal with bottles any more.
I just wish he was potty-trained and out of these diapers, then I wouldn’t have to lug this diaper bag around any more.
It’ll be nice to finally get a break once the kids get in school.
Surely things will be easier once she gets older and can do some things for herself.

Do any of these lines sound familiar? Have you ever thought or said any of these things?

I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve thought or said all these things at one point or another.

After my son was born almost six years ago, I found myself constantly wishing he would grow out of one stage and into another, thinking things would be easier once he reached the next stage. I was a tired and sometimes frustrated new mom just trying to survive day to day with a new baby.

What I didn’t realize is I was inadvertently wishing our lives away by focusing on the irritating parts of each stage of his life rather than on the enjoyable and memorable parts of each stage.

Once I recognized how fast my little boy was actually growing up and just how short each segment of his life really is I felt guilty for wishing the time away. I knew it was imperative I put my mind on the positive aspects of his life, at every stage, rather than the negative ones.

So, that being said, how do we learn to focus on the positive instead of the negative?

Retrace our steps - Realizing our child will not stay young for very long is the first step to learning to live in the present and focus on the positives of each stage of their life. If we take a moment and look back to when our child was only a few months old, we will probably all remember thinking it took forever for him to stop waking up every two or three hours during the night. However, we can probably also look back and see how quickly the time actually flew by. By doing this, we can get an idea of just how short our time with our little ones really is.

Recognize our misconceptions - Sometimes, we parents fool ourselves into thinking if we can just get past this stage, everything will be peachy. Unfortunately, no matter the stage of our child’s life, there will always be less than pleasurable aspects. So by wishing one stage is over to get on to the next stage is really not accomplishing anything. In other words, each new stage will bring its own problems with it, so we might as well accept them and find happiness despite of them.

Rethink our priorities - It’s so easy to get caught up in having a spotless house or maintaining various commitments to the point we end up getting annoyed over the little things our children do or don’t do that are just part of being a kid. As a result, we try to “grow them up” too quickly, so they will fit into our pre-child lifestyle instead of reformatting our lifestyle to include our children. If unnecessary commitments and a squeaky clean house are constantly causing us to wish our kids were older so they could do more for themselves, it’s time to reassess our priorities. To put it plain, we’ll always have a house to clean and there will always be commitments to make, but our kids won’t always be kids.

As I began writing this article, I was reminded of a country music video my dad wanted me to watch a while back. Now, I don’t usually listen to country, but he said I really needed to see it. It was called “You’re Gonna Miss This” and sung by Trace Adkins.

I ended up crying through the whole video. The song talks about the stages of life we go through, from having young children to seeing them grow into adults and all the things we’ll miss about their childhood once they’re grown.

I’m glad I had the opportunity to watch this video while my kids are still really young because it changed my perspective on living each day to the fullest with them. I realized just how fleeting these times are in our lives.

Just ask an older mother or father and they’ll tell you time goes by in the blink of an eye. I want to cherish the good and the bad so I’ll be able to look back and know I didn’t wish away any of the time with my kids.

What about you? Are you wishing away precious time - days, weeks, months, or even years? Or are you living each day accepting and loving that precious time, good or not so good?

Amanda is a full-time mom to a five year old son and a two year old daughter, as well as a wife of almost 11 years. In addition, she blogs at Mommy’s Idea Book, a blog devoted to sharing information, tips and encouragement with other moms, wives and homemakers. She enjoys reading, cooking and spending time with her family.

Hearts Turned Towards Home: Jenn’s Story

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 12:38:00 +0000

The following is a guest post by Jenn from Beautiful Calling and is the second installment of Hearts Turned Towards Home. If you are interested in sharing your story of how God turned your heart toward home, please click here.

In 2005, I married a wonderful man and we moved into our new home. Scott had lived on his own for some time before we married and was quite competent in the running of a home. After we married, he still did all the cooking, his own ironing (and mine), we shared housework and I had no desire for that to change. We talked about having children in a year or so. Though Scott wanted me to stay at home when we had little ones, I wasn’t sure that was something I wanted to do. I wondered what I would do all day and how that could be fulfilling? (Yep, I was completely disillusioned!) I suppose I was sort of looking to be someone. It was all about me. I knew the Lord, but His plans and desires for me weren’t a top priority to me at the time.

I started off as a Quality Assurance Co-coordinator within a great company. They were paying for me to take accounting courses at a local college. I had my own agenda and planned to complete additional (paid) schooling and move into the accounting department within the company. I thought that my worth was tied to my work; graduating from college and having a great well-paying career with all the benefits.

I completed a couple courses, receiving high marks then I found out I was pregnant. We were excited and told virtually everyone. And then we lost the baby. (You can read more about that on my blog during June/July). God used this tragedy to turn my heart back towards Him. As I began to focus on Him and learn more about His designs, my heart slowly turned towards home.

It was about that time that I stumbled upon Crystal's blog: Biblical Womanhood. [Note from Brianna: Biblical Womanhood is no longer an active blog.] When I first began to read some of her writings, I thought “Are you crazy?” The idea of serving my husband constantly really rubbed me the wrong way. But the more time I spent reading my bible, looking to biblical examples, following her blog and reading other edifying books, the more I realized how wrong my attitudes were. I began to understand (and embrace!) the role that God has given me; to be a helper to my husband and a keeper of my home.

God has since then blessed us with two little ones. My dreams of college courses and accounting positions pale in comparison to the dream that I am living now. Some days are rough and other days are bliss but most are a combination of the two. I cook much better, I love to bake, our house is in pretty good shape most days and Scott hasn’t had to iron anything himself this year.

I’m still such a work in progress but praise the Lord for the victories that I am seeing as I continue to try and live out biblical womanhood!

Some thoughts from my journey so far:

Heart Toward God: Have you heard the phrase “You will only be as good a mother as you are a Christian”? I think it is true. He must come first. It is He that enables you to be the sacrificing servant that you need to be in order for your heart to really be focused on your family and your home.

Aptitude is Optional but Attitude is Essential: I didn’t enter my marriage with a lot of aptitude. In fact, I really was domestically challenged! Four years in and I still have so much to learn and such a long way to go. I fail miserably in many areas on a weekly (or daily!) basis but I have a willing attitude. I want to learn, to grow, to be the woman, wife and mother that He wants me to be. He'll provide the ability as we look to Him.

Read His Word: Some may claim that the bible is old fashioned, but it is timeless and His truths endure to all generations (Psalm 100:5). In following His blueprints for biblical womanhood, marriage and childrearing, our lives will glorify Him and we will reap benefits. The bible is full of godly and ungodly women that we can learn from with practical how-to’s and the how-not-to’s.

Titus 2 Women: We can all be teachers and students if we are willing. Find yourself a godly ‘older’ (Titus 2) woman whom you can learn from in spiritual things as well as domestic practical matters. Maybe she’s your neighbor, or she attends your church or maybe she is an online friend. If you can’t find one, pray for one.

Like-Minded Friends: Hearts toward home in today’s society is not a popular notion. Even in Christian circles, the value placed on mothers and homes in general isn’t what it should be. Iron sharpeneth iron. Having friends within the church, your social group or online, that share the same values are vital. Sharing lessons learned and being able to rejoice together in victories and good days are also so important on this journey. It is also essential to have someone there to encourage you on those not so stellar days.

Good Blogs: They can be edifying, uplifting, encouraging and, at times, gently convicting. The Lord used Biblical Womanhood in a great way to change the direction of my life. If used wisely, we can learn much from good blogs through real life lessons shared on them.

Good Books: Someone somewhere said that if you only have time to read one book, make it the bible! I agree. But I think that there is also a wealth of knowledge and benefit to be gained in reading good bible-based books on womanhood, marriage and the family. If they are based on scriptural truths and examples then they will not necessarily be new ideas to you, however they may have some practical applications that you might not have thought of before.

Some Favorite Resources

Titus 2 Women 3 Book Series: Secrets of a Happy Heart, Happily Married and Parenting with Wisdom by Debi Pryde This series is so awesome! It deals with you and your relationship with the Lord, then your spouse and then your children.

Loving God with All Your Mind by Elizabeth George

Passionate Housewives Desperate for God by Jenny Chancy and Stacy McDonald

A Wife After God’s Own Heart by Elizabeth George

Striving to be the woman, wife and mother that God is calling her to be, Jenn embraces her beautiful calling fully. No longer quite so domestically challenged, she’s still a work-in-progress and writes about it all at Beautiful Calling.

Alec Josiah: A Birth Story

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 15:57:00 +0000

In the spirit of my friend Judy Kay, I'll start this post by saying this:

For any guy readers out there, here's the boy version--I had a baby. He was born on Saturday, July 11th at 1:23 pm. He was completely healthy and totally adorable. He weighed 8 lbs, 9 oz, was 20 1/4 inches long and we named him Alec Josiah. The End.

Now for all my girl readers...who (as Tara said) want all the "gory details"...

Ahem. Let's begin, shall we?

The last time I had a baby, I experienced prodromal labor for nearly a full month. I started having contractions that kept me up at night when I was only 38 weeks. This continued until Levi was finally born at almost 42 weeks. Sigh. Are you tired yet? I was trying to mentally prepare myself for this same possibility this time around. I'd had contractions for a few days--contractions that, once again, were enough to wake me and make me think about timing them.

But they didn't really go anywhere. I'd eat a bowl of Cheerios, post something silly on Facebook, and head back to bed to try to get some more sleep.

Last Friday (the 10th), things felt a little more intense. I'd felt the urge to put things in the house in order and decided I should probably head to the grocery store to stock up for the coming week. Baby was quite low and contractions were coming, however sporadically. It took me forever in the grocery store--and I'm pretty sure I was walking like an old woman.

That night was Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-fil-A. Dress like a cow, get free chicken. Yes, yes indeed, me and my big pregnant self dressed like a cow along with the other bovines in my family, and headed over to Chick-fil-A to make some memories and eat free chicken. The call of free chicken is a strong one.

Sitting there with Keith while the boys played, the contractions continued--seeming to come more regularly. "I think this might be the real deal," I remember saying to Keith. But I was still feeling somewhat hesitant remembering last time around when Levi had tricked me over and over.

We headed home, put the boys to bed and got into bed ourselves. That night about 12:30, I woke up and asked Keith to time my contractions. Much to my dismay, they still weren't regular at all--coming between 5 and 12 minutes apart. Finally, they seemed to settle all together and I fell asleep again.

The next morning, Keith was supposed to head to work to complete a Saturday job--a rare happening. My contractions were still not at all regular, though still coming, but I felt completely desperate at the thought of Keith leaving me. I knew I couldn't handle the two boys by myself, but more than that I just couldn't bear the thought of being alone.

Keith finally called into work and said that he felt he should probably stay with me--at least until his mom could come over and be with me while he went in to work.

I got out of bed shortly after and started walking around. I didn't feel at all hungry and hadn't eaten since very early that morning (about 4). I was still feeling so hesitant and full of self-doubt. Was this going to be the real thing or not? Did I even know?

I decided to call a friend who is a midwife and speak with her a bit about prodromal labor. She was very encouraging, gave me a few tips about resting and getting contractions to stop and also a few tips on how to get things moving along if this was the real thing. While I was talking to her, I had to breathe through several contractions.

Shortly after getting off the phone with my friend, I found myself walking constantly through the house. Just walking in circles. Then grabbing my birth ball. Then begging the children to "please, don't touch me!" Then calling my mother and starting to cry and saying I really couldn't do this.

Hello. Signs of transition, anyone?

It finally clicked into my brain. My contractions were so intense that I couldn't talk through them and I had to focus fully on my breathing. They were coming every three minutes. I was a full hour away from the hospital.

Panic set in.

I was never going to make it to the hospital.

Keith, seeing the swift change in circumstances, called his mom and asked her to come, now. He started throwing our stuff in the car. I could tell he was a bit panicked because he was getting frustrated over the littlest things. Things like not being able to find the only set of keys for our car.

Keith's mom finally arrived. I say finally, and it probably wasn't that long, but every minute was feeling like an eternity to me at this point. She was very concerned when she saw me and asked if I was going to make it. I'm sure she was even more concerned when I responded with a grimace. Which meant...I'm really not sure...

The last thing I wanted to do was climb into the seat of that car. To get into a seated position and be held captive inside an automobile for an hour was not my idea of a good time at this point. The thought of it made me crazy, in fact. But Keith got me inside and off we started.

We had only driven for a few minutes when I looked over at Keith.

"Keith. I am not going to make it."

Now, there is indeed a hospital closer than an hour away. In fact, there is a hospital about seven minutes from our house. But. (And please don't be offended if you've delivered there and you love the hospital, the doctors, and the nurses...) But I really didn't want to give birth there. After having the experience of natural birth at a birth center and then at home, there was no way I wanted to set foot in that hospital. The hospital in Warner Robins was waiting for me with a caring midwife who understood my desires for childbirth and was on my team.

I still didn't think I was going to make it.

I called my midwife, Carlene, to tell her so. She reassured me that I could probably make it, but that it was a decision I'd have to make myself.

We decided to go for it.

Later Keith told me that the fastest he drove was 105. Miles. An. Hour.

I'm so glad I didn't know that at the time.

I don't think I've ever prayed so hard or recited so many Scripture verses. My prayers sounded mostly like this, "Oh, Jesus. Sweet Jesus. Help me." And, "Please don't let this baby be born on the side of the road."

A drive that normally takes at least 60 minutes took less than 45. Carlene met us on the way, and we drove in a crazy caravan with lights flashing.

As we pulled into the hospital, I don't think I've ever been so relieved in my livelong life.

We were met at the door by Carlene and a nurse with a wheelchair. They wheeled me upstairs and into a birthing room. Carlene checked me. I was nine centimeters dilated.

Continuing to breath through contractions (I think I was the calmest with this birth at this point), I climbed into the tub to let the warm water spray on my back. Heaven. The lab tech came to draw my blood. I'm sure I gave the most evil eyed look ever and refused. Were they freaking kidding me?

Carlene, seeing that I was probably about to deliver, asked me to get out of the tub so she could check me again. She noted that baby's heartones were dropping quite a bit with contractions and began to move swiftly. She looked me in the eye and said, "This baby needs to come out now. You need to push him out now. Do you understand me, Brianna? When I tell you to push, you need to push, OK?"

With Keith on one side and a nurse on the other, I started pushing. Up till now, I'd been almost completely silent. No more. Maybe someday I'll get through the pushing without yelling my head off, but today was not the day. In less than ten minutes, Alec had been born. Face up. Every time I think about that, I feel like giving myself a good old "HooRAH!" and patting myself on the back.

There is absolutely no joy, relief, ecstasy like having my baby put into my arms. (And perhaps the added benefit of being amazed to have lived through the pushing...)

He was perfect. So beautiful. So very beautiful. And he looked just like his brothers. With one notable exception. He had perfect straight feet. So tiny, narrow and straight. Amazing.

The emotions swelled over and the tears and sobs of happiness and relief came pouring out.

Alec Josiah. A blessing from the hand of my Heavenly Father.

Lord, make us parents after your own heart. May we remember that our boys are only given in trust to us. May we shape their hearts for eternity and direct their eyes toward your character and love. May they know you as their Lord and Savior early in their lives and grow to be men of godliness and integrity.

Love Is Spelled R-E-S-P-E-C-T

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 09:30:00 +0000

Image by Coolm36

The following is a guest post from Christin at Journey to a Gracious Woman.

It is no secret that men and women are different (or is it?!). God created us, men and women, with diverse roles in His creation. He chose our place because we are in no position to tell God otherwise. I find it incredibly designed that God made wives to respect their husbands and made husbands to love their wives (Ephesians 5:33), because those are the elements we each need to thrive. He knows this! Husbands need respect from their wives as greatly as wives need love from their husbands. For husbands, respect is love and love is respect.

A number of translations use the word respect in place of reverence. I think these two words are quite different from each other, one being at a much deeper level then the other. However, I also believe that if we cannot respect our husbands we will certainly not reverence them.

Ephesians 5:33 (KJV)
... and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

I believe one of the most common reasons it is difficult for wives to respect their husbands is because they don't understand his deep need for it. The second most common justification, that I have witnessed, is that wives wait until their husbands deserve respect before they give it.

Until I understood my husbands deep need for respect and why he thrived on it, I didn't put forth much effort to respect him. Sometimes respect can come automatically, but the majority of the time, showing respect is very intentional. It is something that often must be thought out before being carried out.

I want to take a look at 3 aspects of respecting our husbands. The first one being the impact our respect will have on our husbands, the second being the consequences of not giving respect, and finally what intentional respect looks like in action.

The Impact of Your Respect

Earlier I said I believed much of the reason why wives don't respect their husbands is because they are unaware of how it impacts them. They are unaware of their real need for it. Today, you will be without excuse ;). Now, stay with me because this is important, and in fact very encouraging. Respecting your husband shows/tells your husband:

where he ranks in your life
you believe in him
you trust him
you are proud of him
you love him
you're his biggest fan
you accept him [how he is]

Imagine how secure our husbands would be if we respected him in word, tone, action, and in public. We wives are a safe-haven for our husbands. They should be the most comfortable around the women they love, thus letting their guard down. We have a great responsibility, ladies.

If a man's wife believes in him, he can conquer the world--or at least his little corner of it.
For Women Only, by Shaunti Feldhan

Consequences of No Respect

Picture this scenario: a husband and his wife are chit chatting after church service with some friends. Though the wife respects her husband [in her own mind], she proceeds to tell her friends how her husband tried to fix the lawn mower but somehow only made it worse and that what he should've done was just taken it in and paid the money to have it fixed. She believes to be having a lighthearted conversation about just everyday life happenings, but he has just felt cut down and made to feel inadequate simply because he wanted to try to see if he could fix the mower himself.

Not only has this woman embarrassed him [most likely unknowingly] in front of their friends, she has indirectly called him inept, suggesting he was incapable of being handy, before he even tried. She should be his biggest cheerleader and encouragement. Instead, she made it very clear to her husband and their friends that she doesn't respect his abilities.

I don't think many women realize what they do to their husbands when they show disrespect in public. This strips a man of his dignity right out there in the open. If a man cannot even be respected by his own wife, the people surrounding him will not respect him, even if it's in secret.

We have the potential to make our husbands:

feel inadequate (or have justification for those already lurking feelings)
be disrespected by others
feel unloved
just give up trying

Intentional Respect in Action

So how do we show intentional as opposed to "going through the motions" respect towards our husbands? Well, there really are an endless amount of ways. Just like there are many ways for our husbands to intentionally show us love. But let me highlight a few that will make your man feel on top of the world!

Express to him you support [and respect] his decision making (even if it's not what you would do)
Brag about him to your friends---and his
Be mindful of your tone and wording - even if you don't intend to belittle your husband, we frequently do without even knowing it. An example of this would be constantly reminding (or nagging) them to do something (anything). We often make the mistake of believing they need to be reminded, and the more we nag, the less they want to carry out whatever it is they are "supposed" to be doing.
Do not question his knowledge or judgment
Encourage his abilities

In order to respect our husbands openly, we must respect them privately, in our own hearts. If you need help with this, pray. God can help! Often, when we outwardly respect them, they will respond in one way or another and our hearts will often change.

Christin is the wife to Jonathan and mother of 4 children. She is committed to living a life of service to God, journey's to becoming a help meet to her husband, and a devoted mother to her children. She enjoys homeschooling, reading, blogging, and doing what she can to help others. You can find her blogging transparently at Journey to a Gracious Woman.

Hearts Turned Toward Home: Erin's Story

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:30:00 +0000

The following is a guest post from Erin at A Full Heart and is the first installment of Hearts Turned Towards Home. If you are interested in sharing your story of how God turned your heart toward home, please click here.

Thank you, Brianna, for asking me to do a guest post, and CONGRATULATIONS! on your 3rd blessing! I hope you are enjoying your "babymoon" and loving your new little man!

Getting ready for this post took some pondering and looking back to when and how I became so passionate about being a Homemaker - it certainly was a process, and one that took quite a few years! Here's my story.

When I first became a mother, I left my job to stay at home. It was something my husband and I felt was the "right" thing to do - afterall, why bring life into the world just to leave it in someone else's hands to care for? We felt strongly about that, but I wouldn't say it was exactly a conviction from the Lord. I didn't even really consider what God's thoughts about motherhood were (I was still rather a "baby" Christian myself)!

After a few years and another baby, staying at home with 2 under 3 didn't seem to be as... fulfilling... as I heard it was supposed to be. I hated housecleaning, and I hated having my time taken up by everyone else. Sure, I loved my kids, I loved my husband... but what about me?!

In my teenage years I was an avid horseback rider, I thought perhaps I could find my fulfillment in that again. I tried taking lessons, but the schedule never fit in to when my husband could be home to take care of the little ones, which lead to more frustration. I cried to my husband about how I need more, something to "find myself" in. Oh, how I had bought into the enemy's lies of "its all about me" feminism! But the Lord was patient, and faithful (as He always is!)

Over the years, I continued to wrestle with my attitude. I was discontent, and it seemed like everywhere I turned, I was hearing "fulfill yourself - no matter what the cost to your kids" - even from within the church! I was tormented, as my flesh so desperately desired it, yet something warred within my spirit. I felt as if I couldn't get peace anywhere - so I finally turned to the Source of Peace Himself. I don't know why it took so long for me to even consider what the Lord had to say about it, but once I did, I was amazed at what I discovered! I read Titus 2:3-5, of course, and 1 Timothy 5:14, Proverbs 31, Proverbs 14:1, as well as Deuteronomy 6. It was as if I'd never seen these verses before, they were suddenly so real to me!

One thing that majorly jumped out at me were the warnings that followed many of the verses - I realized that forsaking my role at home (even in attitude!) brought dishonor to the Word of God, allowed the enemy room to be reproachful, as well as tore down the relationships within my home! Yikes! His Word also showed me how God created the home to be a place of ministry for women! I had no need to look for an "outside" ministry - I had one right under my roof - to my children, my husband, the lost, and brothers and sisters in Christ!

Then I saw the example of Jesus himself - how he came to serve, not to be served, and how, to model his likeness, I too must have the heart of a servant - not one of serving myself! I cried out to the Lord and asked His forgiveness for my gross selfishness, and asked Him to help me have the right attitudes. A change happened then and there! The verse that comes to mind when I think of what He did for me is:

He makes the barren woman abide in the house
As a joyful mother of children.
Praise the LORD!
Psalm 113:9

Now, with 5 sons ages 8 and under, no one would consider me "barren" in the literal sense - but my heart was barren, empty of the love God would have me pour out in my home. However, He restored my heart, through His love, so that I can overflow and be a joyfully content mother, wife, and keeper at home - walking in His perfect calling.

Once I turned my heart toward God, it was He who turned my heart toward home!

Erin Robinson has been married 10.5 years to Michael, and they are the blessed parents of 5 boys, ages 8, 6, 4, 2, and 3 months. Erin blogs at A Full Heart - her blog is a blend of insights into the life of a busy and growing homeschooling family, as well as Godly encouragement to women!

My Sweet Little One Is Here!

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 01:36:00 +0000

We arrived home from the hospital today! Alec Josiah was born Saturday, July 11th (right on his due date) at 1:23pm. He weighed 8 lbs, 9 oz (my smallest baby yet) and was 20 1/4 inches long.

He's perfectly delightful and we all love him--including his brothers who are learning what it means to be, "gentle, **gentle!!**" (As my heart leaps in my throat...)

I hope to share his birth story and pictures soon, but for now I need to rest. ;)

Calling in the Reinforcements

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 11:38:00 +0000

Image by psd

Today the reinforcements are coming in.

Can I get a "Woohoo!!"

Actually, I didn't really call them in. They called me up and offered their help. How great is that?

One sweet girl is coming over to play with my boys. A dear friend is coming over and we're going to tag team the cleaning. The happy sound of a vacuum will ring through my home once again.

Yes, good friends can certainly make me wax poetic.

This will be the last item on my to-do list that I feel like really, really needs to be done before Alec gets here. Everything else is just gravy. I'll be 39 weeks tomorrow, so it could be today or it could be three weeks from now.

(Please don't make me wait 3 weeks, little man.)

I am so incredibly grateful today to have these friends who are not only willing to come help me, but even offered their help--more than once. May I have the generosity of spirit to see the needs of others in the future and serve them as well.

Would You Like to Be a Guest Poster?

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 08:48:00 +0000

Image by Swami Stream

Over the (approximately) six weeks that I'm planning to be mostly babymooning, I've got some flat fabulous guest posters lined up to share with you. Good stuff.

I'm still looking for a few more people who would be willing to write about the topics I cover here--basically the subjects covered in Titus 2. Loving our husbands and children, managing our homes, loving our Lord. This could cover a pretty wide range--money management, organization and productivity, quiet times, teaching our children, food preparation, etc.

If you have a post you'd like to share, please use the contact button above to inquire, and I'll send you the guest posting guidelines. You do not need to have a blog to submit a guest post.

I also want to remind you about the Hearts Turned Toward Home Series. It will be launching during my babymoon and I would absolutely love to hear from more of you. What has God done in your life to turn your heart toward your home? For more information about this series, you can go here.

What Crisis Management Mode Actually Looks Like

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 08:46:00 +0000

Image by Hamed Saber

Um. It's not pretty. (Unlike the lovely picture I've chosen for this post. I think I'm wishing I were there sometimes.)

I've been talking about crisis management mode here and here. And I'm definitely right in the middle of it. My baby isn't even here yet, but it is taking everything I've got just to get through the day. I'm waking many nights not being able to return to sleep. So, I'm very fatigued. Very.

A dear friend told me that perhaps even my last list was a little too ambitious. She told me to focus on "getting dressed and feeding and watering my family". Yes. I think she was right. As I have energy, I'm looking to other things as well, but I really don't have much energy.

So, right now, the house is often littered with random things. We've eaten eggs for dinner more times than I care to count. Laundry is in a little behind and what is clean is still in baskets. My husband is doing lots of dishes, and the meals we've had that weren't eggs, he prepared on the grill. (Bless that man.)

And blogging?

Ha!

That's about all I have to say about that.

To be honest, this has been really hard for me. I felt irresponsible and as though I were letting "someone" down. You know, the hordes of you who are tromping over here every day waiting with bated breath to read what I've written.

But I've come to realize (a bit painfully) that I may need to really step back from blogging even more than I had intentioned to when I anticipated baby coming. I don't plan to stop altogether. I love to write and I love to share what God has been teaching me. But this blog simply doesn't make the cut when it comes to my biggest priorities.

And that's OK.

Wow. What a burden lifted.

I am forever imposing burdens on myself that just don't need to be there. Doing things with a false sense of urgency.

When everything else falls away, there will be so little that really, really, really matters. And I want to focus on, and enjoy, what really matters.

I sincerely hope that those of you who stop by will continue to do so once in a while. Even if it means that there is a serious decline in fresh content. Of course, you could subscribe and then you wouldn't have to keep checking and you'd never miss a single captivating post. Hint, hint. Poke, poke.

But even if some of you move on to greener pastures and never visit again...that's OK. Can you tell I'm talking to myself?

Lord, thank you for the gift of family. For the blessings of children. Thank you for the opportunity of this season of life. Of nurturing, loving and teaching my little ones. May I never miss the "moments" that matter as I'm caught up in something far less important.

The Baby Plan

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 16:52:00 +0000

Image by leezie5

I'm about to have a baby.

I. Am. About. To. Have. A. Baby!

Ahhhhhhh!!

Deep breaths, deep breaths...

OK, in case you can't tell from recent posts, I've been feeling a little overwhelmed of late. I'm fatigued and emotional. I feel awkward and...heavy. My brain has a serious case of fogginess it seems--probably due to fatigue.

I've been trying to take good care of myself by eating relatively well, drinking lots of water, taking my Floradix, etc. But my daily walks have fallen by the wayside and my much, much needed time with the Lord has gotten pretty lax. Sleeping in will do that to you.

So, I'm feeling the need to put a plan--a concrete plan--down on paper. I've had a few plans throughout my pregnancy, but I'm feeling the need to simplify and change it up even more. I want to have a plan for these last few weeks leading up to birth time, and a basic plan in place for afterward as well.

My To-Do List:
Declutter and organize house
Clean, insure and move carseats to Buick (a bigger car to fit all five of us!)
Stock pantry and toiletry cupboards
Redecorating
Get all old pictures organized and made into photobooks
Sell items on Ebay and Amazon
Labor plan for little boys
Organize boys' clothing
~~Wash baby's diapers and clothes~~
~~Paint hallway~~ (This is getting knocked off since Keith says there's just no way we can do this right now. Whew.)
~~Stock freezer with baked goods and dinner meals~~
~~Have garage sale~~ (And this is getting knocked off because I'm seeing the light. Who was I kidding?)
~~Pack bags for me and for boys~~
Write series posts ahead of time

My Pre-Baby "Crisis Management" Plan

1. Sticking with the basics every day.
I do need to keep on top of some simple things like my menu plan, making very simple dinners, completing at least one load of laundry a day, a quick tidy, and doing the dishes. I've learned the hard way that letting these items get out of control is disastrous for me. These are my "sinks".

2. Making time with the Lord a priority.
Instead of saying, "Oh, I don't have time for this right now!" I need to say, "I'm so tired and overwhelmed, I must find time to spend with the Lord!" It's really my greatest need right now.

3. Mini-tasking the bigger items on my to-do list.
Some of the things on my to-do list might not get done, but I've got my to-do list tasks spread out and broken down into smaller items if necessary. This way I don't feel so overwhelmed. This approach actually helped me finally get my digital pictures organized and put into photo books. I've had this job sitting on my to-do list since my first son was born. He's four and a half now!

4. Calling in reinforcements.
I just might be calling in some young girls from church who can play with the boys for a day while I finish up some of my cooking and baking.

5. Giving myself grace.
I'm trying to do this, though not always very well. I have a bit of a driven nature, so it's hard for me to allow myself to not be "up to par".

6. Loving my family well.
It's really easy for me to be snappy in my fatigue and discouragement. But the one thing that really matters most right now is for me to love well. For my children to feel secure and loved--even if our house isn't always in the condition I like it to be. For my husband to have a smile in his direction instead of a frown.

My Post-Baby "Crisis Management" Plan

1. Just focus on the basics.
I'm hoping to have lots of food in the pantry and freezer so that I won't have to do very much cooking. But I'll still need to try to do at least a load of laundry every day, keep clean dishes, and do a quick tidy each day. These are things that I know Keith will help me with. (I love you, sweetheart!)

2. Make time with the Lord my biggest priority.
I don't think I've ever taken time to spend with the Lord on a regular basis after the birth of a baby. I was just too tired. But as I just mentioned, when do we need this time most? When we're tired, overwhelmed and discouraged. All things I usually experience after a baby is born. I'd like to be able to say in a couple of months, that even when I did nothing else all day, I found time to rest in the Lord.

3. Call in reinforcements.
My mother-in-law will help me as much as she can, my husband will also do what he can to keep us is in good shape. I may be able to have some young girls come in once in a while to do a quick and basic clean of the house.

4. Doing absolutely nothing that isn't absolutely necessary.
When Caden was born, I got back into the swing of things almost immediately. I thought I felt great! But I crashed soon afterward. I ended up struggling quite a bit with a case of baby blues that lasted longer than it probably should have. When Levi was born, I had learned my lesson. I did my best to follow the above rule, and while I still had some postpartum "downness", it didn't last as long or get as deep as with Caden.

5. Focus on healthy patterns.
Since I'm prone to postpartum depression, I really need to focus on getting adequate sleep, eating nutritious food and getting some activity when it's appropriate.

6. Giving myself grace and loving my family well.
Just as above, it's more important for me to be a source of love and security to my family even if the house is in a bit of chaos for a while. And it's so important to remember that I live under a gracious God! Life will gain a normalcy and pattern once again.

Whew. I feel better having just written down these things that have been floating in my brain. Time to actually put it into practice.

Connect with Colleagues: It's a REAL Job! Series # 11

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 00:52:00 +0000

Image by prakhar

If you're a homemaker, it can be easy to feel alone and isolated. No doubt, the work of home management and loving our families can be tough. Generally, a woman who is at home with her children and sees her position as home manager as a REAL job is a rarity these days.

The truth, however, is that you are not alone. There are indeed other women out there whose hearts are first and foremost with their families and homes--who strongly desire to live out the message of Titus 2 and Proverbs 31.

I'm here to say today that I highly recommend connecting with these "colleagues".

Why?

1. Fellowship
Women are made for friendship--in a way that is different from men. All humans are uniquely designed for relationship, but the friendships of women are special. We find great comfort and strength in our women friendships. Women can be tied together as sisters even though they didn't grow up in the same family.

2. Encouragement
As women, and definitely as homemakers, we need the encouragement of another woman who understands what we're going through. How many times have you been picked up by the compassion and care of a woman friend who spoke words of encouragement to you in a moment of need?

3. Motivation and challenge
We all go through times when we feel unmotivated. And we all go through times when we need someone to gently, but firmly point us toward truth and give us a push in the right direction. A friend who can do this is the dearest kind of friend of all. And someday, she'll probably need you to help her in the same way.

4. Accountability
When we set new goals, it makes a big difference to have someone to share those with and hold us accountable. Having someone who will "keep tabs" on you in a certain area is such a blessing.

5. Learning new things
Isn't it wonderful how God made each of us so unique? One of the beautiful things about relationships is that each person brings particular strengths to the table. I have friends who are naturally organized. I can learn a lot from someone like that. I also have friends whose gifts lie in their patience and wisdom with their children. I can also learn a lot from someone like that! You have something to offer to other women as well!

Who?

1. Someone who is in the trenches with you
A woman who is in the same season of life, can definitely be a source of encouragement. She knows exactly what you're talking about when you discuss the difficulties of training your children, balancing housework, and loving your husband. There are probably more women than you realize who are right where you are struggling to honor the Lord as wives, mothers, and homemakers.

2. Someone who has walked the path before you
Women who have "been there, done that" are such valuable resources! Titus 2 specifically points out that they are to be one of our main sources of "training" for our job. Not only can they offer encouragement, wisdom, knowledge and perspective, but they have lived to tell about it! Now, that says something, don't you think?

How?

1. Have some fun!
Friendships can be a wonderful way to relax, let down our hair, and just unwind. Sometimes it does us a world of good to simply have a chat and a cup of coffee with a good friend.

2. Pray for one another
Be intentional about praying for the needs in each other's lives. Pray for your marriages, for your children, for the struggles in your walk with Christ, and for your development and role as a home manager.

3. Spur each other on
Ask questions. Sometimes ask tough questions. As you dig deeper into each other's lives, it is appropriate to challenge each other and hold each other accountable like I mentioned earlier. Although not all of your friendships will have the same depth, I think we each need at least one friend who is willing to "dredge the deeps" of our hearts with us.

Where?

Maybe you're thinking, "Well, maybe you've been blessed with a wealth of these kind of women around you, but not me. I really am very alone."

You know what? God knows just what you need. He's made it clear in His Word, that His intention is for us to live as a body. To live in community with other believers as we encourage and spur one another on to good deeds. For older women to teach younger women.

So. I think I can boldly assert that we can ask God confidently to provide for our need for relationships with other godly women who will provide us with the training, encouragement and challenge we need as wives, mothers and homemakers.

I challenge you today--ask God to provide for this need. I'd love to know what He does for you in your life in this respect!

Sit and Sip Saturday Links

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Sat, 13 Jun 2009 09:30:00 +0000

Image by @rhettmaxwell

I am tired. Whew. This week has been tough. The first full week of focusing on new priorities. Or newly focused priorities. Parenting is hard work. Nuff said. For now anyway.

And my poor brain is getting foggier and foggier it feels! I'm officially 36 weeks pregnant and I feel like I just can't think straight. It would be funny, if it weren't so frustrating. I'm a wee bit stressed about the things I'd like to have done before little Alec arrives, the chance of those things actually getting done getting smaller, and my inability to pull it together and think straight, for crying out loud! Ahem.

Thank the Lord for His new mercies every morning. I'm definitely in crisis mode here--and to be honest, today I've not been following my own advice well at all. Whew. Again. I'm so glad for fresh starts!

Here are some goodies from my reader this week--though I haven't been doing much reading. And I'm not convinced that what I've read has really made it past my corneas into my brain. See above.

But maybe for those of you who aren't 36 weeks pregnant, this stuff will stick with ya better.

Organizing Your Domain
50 Ways to Streamline Your Life @ Life as MOM
How to Make It Easy for Someone to Watch Your Kids @ The Happy Housewife

Health and Nutrition
Watch Out for These Health Busters @ Simple Mom

Father's Day!!
Ideas for Father's Day @ GirlTalk

Nurturing Your Children
The List--Children's Literature We Love @ Simple Kids
I've found great encouragement and stuff to think about in the series that Christin at Journey to a Gracious Woman and Sarah Mae at Like a Warm Cup of Coffee have been writing. They've been writing about discipling and training our children--a subject pretty heavy on my mind of late. Check it out by visiting their blogs and poking around. There are several posts.

Stewarding the Finances
100 Different Ways to Save $100 This Year @ Money Saving Mom
A Surefire Way to Get Rich Quick @ Simple Mom (OK, this doesn't really fit here, but...I wasn't sure where to put it, OK?)

Enjoy, ladies, and have a wonderful, restful weekend!

Planning and Scheduling Blog Posts

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 04:00:00 +0000

Image by tanakawho

So, the week before last I took a vacation. Actually, it was a staycation. A much needed break. Not only did our family need some time to chill--I really needed some time away from the techno world. So, I unplugged. At least, moreso than I usually do.

But I still had a few blog posts pop up through the week. And this is where my Works For Me Wednesday tip comes in.

Planning and scheduling blog posts ahead of time.

Truly, I would never survive as a blogger if every day I had to sit down and come up with something new to write about. I just couldn't do it! So, here's what I do:

1. Anytime I get an idea for a blog post, I jot it down in my planner.

2. I keep a rough schedule for my blog posts at least a couple of months ahead of time.

3. When I have a spare moment, I write a rough outline for a blog post.

4. I gather all of my pictures a week at a time.

5. I usually have a theme for each day (Monday is my series post, Wednesday is WFMW, etc.).

6. Just about every Saturday, I write almost all of the blog posts for the coming week.

7. I schedule my posts in Blogger so that they post without me.

Voila!

This saves me so much time, energy and frustration! This might not work for everyone, but it totally and completely works for me!

Anybody else out there a pre-poster? Got any other tips to share for efficient blogging?

A Peek Inside My Heart: Performance Review Results

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 09:30:00 +0000

Image by Sukanto Debnath

So about that performance review.

Yeah.

So I did it.

And it was indeed both painful and encouraging. Just like I said it would probably be.

Today I'm going to invite you to walk with me through my performance review. A brief summary of it, anyway. Care to come in and have a cup of tea?

I do have a job description written--the tool that makes the performance review possible in the first place. If you'd like to read my job description, you can find it here. Having a job description made it pretty easy to walk through the process. Well, easy in the sense that I had clear direction for evaluation, anyway!

I did ask my husband to join me in the process. To be honest, I think it would have been a little painful and a little encouraging going through this on my own--having my husband be part of the process definitely made both of those feelings more intense. Still, it was incredibly valuable to get his insight and opinion. He can see some things more clearly than I can--both the positive and the negative.

Then we launched into the evaluation questions:

What am I doing well? What are my strengths? Is there a way my strengths could be utilized even better?
This part was easy. We both agreed that our house is a very different place to live in now. It's generally well ordered and peaceful. Laundry, dishes, dinner, etc, are all pretty well taken care of. We have had some "moments" here lately, but Keith pointed out that those are due mostly to our season--I'm at the end of pregnancy, feeling quite fatigued some days, and a little foggy in the memory department.

All in all, I'm doing very well with organizing, planning, and managing. And that says a lot, people!

What area(s) might need more attention? What are my weaknesses? How can these be strengthened?
Girls, this was the painful part. It was completely clear to me what my weakest area was. My children. The part in my job description where it says: "To train, love and nurture my children as God my Father does with me." This was definitely not getting the attention it needed.

Keith and I talked at length about the fact that the boys really need some serious focused attention right now. We have been blessed with the privilege and responsibility of raising one child who is God-designed with a very strong will. I've been feeling the need of late to make teaching, training and loving him and his brother the area that receives my biggest amount of energy and attention.

In fact, I have realized that for at least a season, I am going to need to make everything else in life almost as simple as possible, so that I can spend very, very focused attention on heart issues in my boys.

With the habits, routines, and structures we have in place, I feel that we will be held in good stead, as we scale back to the basics. For me, this is going to mean being an even better manager of my time. I'm going to have to use the time before my boys are up and after they are in bed very wisely. It will mean learning how to better include them in daily chores so that we work on things together, and I can more closely monitor heart attitudes and the actions that stem from those attitudes.

For my sweet little blog (and this is one of the hardest parts for me, I must admit), it will mean scaling back considerably as well. This blog has been so beneficial to me, because as I have written out my thoughts and what God has been graciously been teaching me, it has solidified those things in my heart and mind. It has spurred me on to excellence in many ways. I think it has also been an encouragement to others who have been in my shoes.

But it does take time to write, and my responsibility to train my children in righteousness is far more important eternally. So, for now, I'm going to be scaling back to writing twice a week and also including my Saturday links to share--though, even those posts may have fewer links, since collecting them does take time.

My hope is that with more focused attention on fewer posts, the quality will still be high and Heart(h) Management will continue to serve as an encouragement to others who are in the field of homemaking just like me.

Keith also pointed out that he felt we could use more time together. I heartily agree. I'm writing this ahead of time, but by the time this post publishes, we will have had our very first weekend away alone together since before children. Five years. Five years, people! This also means being more intentional about guarding our evenings together and seeking to get our littles in bed a bit earlier in order to have more time together in the evenings.

Is my job description truly adequate to give me direction, or does it need tweaking?
I'm happy to report that my job description served me well. I think it definitely covers what my priorities should be. It was certainly adequate to help me see the weaknesses that were present.

Is there a tool I could use that would help me significantly in my role?
I told Keith that I really felt like a new digital camera would really help me. I'm not sure he bought it. (Well, I know he didn't buy the camera, but I'm pretty sure even the idea didn't impress him much.)

However, one tool that has been helping me immensely of late is a little Firefox Add-On called TimeTracker. If you struggle with how much time you spend online like me, I highly recommend this little tool. Once you add it on, there will be a little clock in the lower right hand corner of your screen that will show how much time you've spent online that day. It pauses when there isn't any online activity--even if the window is still open--and I've found it to be very accurate. Accurate enough that it definitely motivates me to get off the Internet! And that is certainly saying something. Try it!

Is there a new area I have the time, energy and freedom to branch into learning?
In short, no. As I've already stated, things are going to have to be scaled back--not ramped up--right now. I will, however, be spending my reading time in some good books on loving and training my children well. Here are some on my list: The Shaping of a Christian Family, Hints on Child Training, Don't Make Me Count to Three, The Mission of Motherhood, Heartfelt Discipline, Shepherding a Child's Heart, and The Duties of Parents.

It's a pretty ambitious list, but I've already read several of them, so for some of them, it will be just skimming through a second time to refresh myself.

What is one habit that, if developed, would help me most in my role right now?
There are two habits that I have been working on for about two months now. I've seen some real progress, though I still have a long way to go.
1. Consistent, daily time with the Lord in His Word and in prayer.
2. Limiting my time online--my biggest time waster by far.

Once we had waded through these questions, we moved on to the compensation part. Well, not really. Although, if you're reading this, honey, I really do think a new digital camera would suit me just fine. Our going away weekend together will definitely be a special treat, though. And I think that the rewards I see in my children will also make this process very worthwhile.

So, that's it in a ~~nutshell~~ novel.

I wanted to share all of this for a couple of reasons. First of all, I wanted to keep it real. I wanted you to know that I really do try to actually do the things I write about. Furthermore, that, as my performance review clearly shows, I'm not anywhere near perfect. Secondly, I hoped it would encourage you to do this yourself.

After all, eternity is at stake when it comes to our families. Evaluation. It's still a good thing.

Sit and Sip Saturday Links

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 09:30:00 +0000

Image by *spudballoo*

This past week has truly been a week of evaluation. I'll be sharing more about that on Monday. In short, I did the performance review I talked about, and it was both painful and encouraging--as I predicted it would be. The links below reflect that I've been spending much less time online (which is a good thing).

The first links here from the GirlTalk blog aren't from this week, but they are some of the best posts I've ever read about the importance of the job of raising our children. So, I'm posting these again, because they've been very encouraging to me as I've pored over them again this week. Please, please read them if you haven't before!

Nurturing Your Children
Pay Attention series (part 1, part 2 and part 3) @ GirlTalk
A Mother's Responsibility, Love pt.2 @ Journey to a Gracious Woman

Organizing Your Domain
Organizing Your Vehicle @ I'm An Organizing Junkie
Simple Solutions for Stain Removal @ Simple Kids
13 Ways to Save Time in the Kitchen @ Mommy's Idea Book
Household Shortcuts and Handy Hints @ Serene Journey
How to Form a Habit @ Holy Experience
Making Summer Plans: A Step-by-Step Guide @ Organizing Your Way
50 Ways to Streamline Your Life, Part Six @ Life as Mom

Ask Your Daddy for Something You Need

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 04:00:00 +0000

Image by wili

I mentioned on Tuesday that Keith and I just celebrated our eighth anniversary. Wow. In some ways I can't believe it's been that long, and in some ways, I can't believe any part of my life was lived without him. Know what I mean?

I had really been wishing and hoping that this year for our anniversary, we could get away together. Alone. You know, just the two of us? Without our beloved children.

In fact, we haven't been away together, alone, since we've had children. I was startled to realize today that not only have we been married for eight years, but it has been five years since just the two of us went away together. You know what? That's a really long time.

I've always had a nursling, and I think that has been the main thing that has kept us from getting away. But right now I'm not nursing a little one (yet!). And in a very short while, we'll have a new little one who will certainly need a great deal of time and attention and it will probably be a while before we can get away again. (Hopefully not another five years!)

Now seemed like the perfect time to take the plunge and go away.

There was only one problem.

We had no money.

As I mentioned in my post about our staycation, things have been especially tight around here lately. And there was absolutely no way we could squeeze out money to spend on a getaway.

Here's my Frugal Friday tip for today:

If there is something you need, or even something your heart greatly desires, ask your Heavenly Father about it.

No, He doesn't guarantee that He will give us all our heart desires. After all, we don't give our children everything they long for either, do we? We know that some of the things they ask for would be detrimental to them! But how often do we delight in giving our children special gifts, just because we love them?

Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.

Which of you, if his son asks for bread will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:7-11

So, I asked. I told my Father that I felt that Keith and I really needed some time to be away alone together to recharge our relationship.

And you know what? He provided.

We have some friends who own a great little cabin out in the woods on a million acres of land. It's actually where Keith proposed to me, where we honeymooned, and where we celebrated our first anniversary. It's a pretty special place for us.

Keith called them up and asked if we might be able to use it again to get away together. And they were delighted for us to use it!

So, tomorrow we will be dropping our sweet little ones off at Nannie and Grandaddy's house (thanks, grandparents!!!), and heading to this special little place.

That cost us nothing.

Because our sweet Father saw fit to delight us with a beautiful gift from His hand. Just because He loves us.

Is there something you're in need of? Ask your Father. He delights in giving good things.

Introducing: Hearts Turned Toward Home

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 09:30:00 +0000

I've shared bits and pieces of my story now and again here on Heart(h) Management. But, you know what? I'm discovering that my story is so often the story of what God is doing in the hearts of so many other women!

I had a brainwave recently. I thought about how great it would be to open up Heart(h) Management to other women who would like to share their story. Their story of how God pointed their heart back toward home.

So, in just about a month I'm going to launch a new series! A series from the hearts of God's women! Are you excited? I know I am!

What about you? Dear friend, sister in Christ, do you have a story of how God moved in your life and heart and led you gently back home? Figuratively or even literally.

Perhaps He did a work in your marriage. Or taught you how to love your children. Or maybe you had a worldly view of the role of a woman, and He graciously taught you His view.

If you are interested in participating, please email me and I will send you guest posting guidelines. May our Lord richly bless each one of you as He continues His work of redemption in our hearts and homes!

Image by spisharam

Eight Years of Marriage to the Most Wonderful Man on the Planet

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 09:30:00 +0000

Eight years ago yesterday, I stood beside the man in the picture above and pledged my life to him--and he did the same for me.

Eight years! I can't believe it's been that long!

We've seen some rough days. And we've seen some really, really good days. All in all, I'm so glad those days were spent together.

Every once in a while, I get a fresh look at my Keith. And I feel true amazement that I have the privilege of being his wife. And the mother of his children. Thank you, Lord!

Our wedding day took place in Orillia, Ontario (my hometown) on one of the chilliest June days I'd ever remembered. But I don't remember feeling that cold. My bridesmaids were absolutely freezing, but I must have had some serious love, adrenaline, and happiness keeping me warm that day!

Since then, we've traveled the road of marriage. A marriage is a whole different story from a wedding. You all know what I mean. I've got to say that our marriage has been a beautiful, wonderful thing. It's been hard. Really hard sometimes. But the tapestry of beauty the Lord has woven in our marriage...amazes me.

I know we both feel more secure. Confident in ourselves and each other because of our marriage. I've seen him grow. He's seen me grow. We've seen each other at our very, very worst. And we still want to be with each other. He still loves me and desires me. Frankly, it blows my mind.

I know the next eight years may hold more hard things. But I'm confident that with God's help, they will also hold more beauty and wonder than I can imagine.

Keith, baby, I don't want anyone but you. I'm yours forever and forever yours.

For more thankful thoughts, please visit Heavenly Homemakers.

The Performance Review: It's a REAL Job! Series #10

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 09:30:00 +0000

Image by Paul Worthington

If you've ever been employed in the "real world" you are probably familiar with the performance review process. That dreaded time of year (in my experience it was annual) when you sit down with your boss and get evaluated. Ugh. How completely unpleasant!

Well, I'm here to say that it seems to me that the homemaker could benefit from a periodic performance review. But, unlike other performance reviews, this doesn't have to be an unpleasant experience!

Evaluation is always valuable--and how much more for the woman whose job is so connected to eternity?

You can set goals all day long. You can have a clear job description. You can plan and organize till the cows come home. But if you don't use the tool of evaluation, how will you know if you are ever truly accomplishing what you set out to do in the first place?

Evaluation. It's a good thing.

Here are my ideas for my next performance review:

1. Do one every 6 months.
Yearly seems too infrequently to me when eternity is at stake. Really. I don't say that flippantly. I truly believe that our role, especially as mothers, is of great eternal significance.

2. Have a clear job description already in place.
If you haven't written a clear job description already, there isn't really anything concrete to evaluate, now is there? So, if you haven't done this yet, sit down and write one for yourself.

3. Make your husband part of the performance review.
OK, so this part might be a little bit painful. Or it might be so deeply encouraging, you want to do a performance review again next week! But the two of you are a team, and in my opinion, Scripture makes it pretty clear that he's the head of your home. So, his input should be very valuable to us as homemakers.

4. Using your job description as a your guide, ask yourself and your husband the following questions:

What am I doing well? What are my strengths? Is there a way my strengths could be utilized even better?
What area(s) might need more attention? What are my weaknesses? How can these be strengthened?
Is my job description truly adequate to give me direction, or does it need tweaking?
Is there a tool I could use that would help me significantly in my role?
Is there a new area I have the time, energy and freedom to branch into learning?
What is one habit that, if developed, would help me most in my role right now?

5. Finally, review appropriate compensation.
What's that? Oh. You don't get paid? So sorry. Wait. Come to think of it, neither do I. At least not in earthly treasure. But I hope I'm building precious metals and stones in eternity. However, I bet you could talk your husband into a special treat--a back rub, some dark chocolate, or dinner for the two of you. Celebrate! Even if your performance review turns up some areas that need attention, that's a good thing. You're being intentional about your role, and that's really something!

I'm pretty sure I have the need of a performance review coming up. Anyone else want to take the plunge with me?

Sit and Sip Saturday Links

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Sat, 30 May 2009 09:30:00 +0000

Image by ^riza^

Well, we're still on vacation. And today is our big day trip to the beach to celebrate a sweet niece's fifth birthday!

Since I've been unplugged for most of the week, I really haven't been reading many blog posts. So, I don't have any posts to share with you from the current week.

However, I do want to invite you to check out my links page and visit some of my favorite blogs. There are some real gems on there!

And if you'd like, you can also check out past Saturday links here.

Enjoy your day and your families!

Grill Talk: Um, well, hamburgers?

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Thu, 28 May 2009 09:30:00 +0000

Image by Robert S. Donovan

So. Today the Ultimate Recipe Swap topic over at LifeasMOM is Grill Talk.

Oh, dear.

Well, (*taking a deep breath*) sure, I'll give it a go. (*Weak smile*)

Remember, Brianna, the first rule of writing is: Write what you know.

OK, ladies! This post is for all you girls whose husbands always do the grilling. (Like me.) I'm going to tell you what I know about grilling. (It's destined to be a short post.)

Number One:
Before you start the grill up, you should open it and look inside to see if there is anything in it. If you don't check, you might burn up the grilling implements with wooden handles that your husband likes to store inside the grill. Now, don't titter and giggle and ask me how I know this. Just do it, K?

Number Two:
Use a gas grill. At least if you want to use any more information from me. Because with as little as I know about gas grills, I know even less about charcoal. I know nothing about charcoal grills. So, if you want to use charcoal, I can't help you.

Number Three:
To start the grill, you should turn on the propane tank. Then turn the little dial thingies to the "light" position. Then light a match as quickly as you can and stick it in the little hole on the side. What, you say? It took you a while to find the hole and when you finally DID find it and got near it with the match you nearly blew yourself up? Oh, yes. Well, look for the little hole first before turning on all that stuff. Oh, and if your grill has a handy little red "light" button, that works, too. That is, if it works. Mine doesn't. Oh, yes, and it would also help to have your hair pulled back and not care too very much about your eyebrows. Really, you can always pencil them in later, honey.

Number Four:
(We're getting dreadfully close to the end of my knowledge.) Um, well, scrape the grill off once it's burned for a few minutes. Yeah, yeah, do that.

Number Five:
This part is where you put your stuff on the grill. The part where you probably need a recipe or something. Or need to know how to cook the stuff on the grill. But, well, um...I've only ever burned stuff on the grill. *GASP* I know, I know. This whole post you've been under the impression that I'm some sort of expert. Sigh. Well, there you have it. I don't really know much about anything when it comes to grilling. My sweet husband cooks delightful things on that thing, but I never do.

What I can tell you is how I prepare the hamburger meat that he cooks into delicious burgers! *Looking hopeful* Would you like that? (Do I sound desperate?)

Hamburgers
OK, well, I take about a pound of hamburger meat, add an egg or two to it and a little oatmeal sometimes (it makes it stretch a little further and can also help bind the meat together). I add a fair dose of salt, pepper, Worcestershire sauce, a little hot sauce, garlic salt, and onion powder.

I mix it gently with my bare hands--the patties seem to be tougher when handled too much or mixed with a fork. When well-mixed, I shape it into patties. I take a ball somewhere between the size of a golf ball and tennis ball and flatten it out. I try to flatten it really well, because those little suckers like to shrink all up and turn into fat, thick disks. Not very hamburgerish, you know? So, make them really flat.

Then sometimes I let them sit in the fridge for a couple of hours to really let the flavors blend.

Then I hand them to my sweet husband, who takes them out, does something magical and brings them back inside looking and tasting just right! I have no idea what he does or how he does it. And that's the truth.

I'm so sorry, FishMama. If you want to kick me off of Ultimate Recipe Swap until the end of time, I'll understand...

If you'd like some real ideas about grilling, head on over to the Ultimate Recipe Swap at LifeasMOM!

Unplugged and Plugged In!

hearthmanagement@gmail.com (Brianna @ Heart(h) Management) — Tue, 26 May 2009 09:30:00 +0000

Image by functoruser

So, in case you missed yesterday's post and the post from last Friday--I'm on vacation, people!

Woohoo!!

I'm actually writing this post ahead of time--because this week, I'm going more (to be honest, not totally) unplugged than I usually am.

I'm completely and totally grateful today for some much needed time with my family. By God's grace, today we're chilling, laughing, and enjoying each other. By God's grace, I'm not Facebooking, Tweeting, blogging, or surfing.

Today I'm so thankful for the opportunity to plug into my family more and plug into the rest of the world a little less!

For more thankful thoughts, please visit Heavenly Homemakers.