Healthy Discoveries https://www.healthydiscoveries.com Wed, 10 Oct 2018 18:56:02 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.0 A Star Is Born https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/2018/10/a-star-is-born/ Wed, 10 Oct 2018 17:19:25 +0000 https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/?p=10429 “This is a story about trauma. It doesn’t matter if you drink, don’t drink, have a capital P problem, little p problem or no problem at all with alcohol. That’s not really what this is about.”

~Jolene Park

First, let me just say, I like Bradley Cooper. He’s hot, he’s a talented actor, director and he quit drinking 13-years ago which makes me and many in the global alcohol-free community love him even more.

I also like Lady Gaga, I think she’s incredibly talented. Her singing and acting in A Star Is Born, is Oscar-worthy, as is Bradley Cooper’s.

So this isn’t about these two brilliant actors and their work. This is about questioning whether or not we’re watching a beautiful love story that ended tragically or if we’re watching a story about trauma that can be quite traumatizing to watch?

I believe it’s the later and I believe there’s a big difference.

Early in the movie, there is a late night scene in a parking lot, that according to director Bradley Cooper, this is the anchor for the rest of the film. Cooper’s character, Jackson Maine, tells Ally, played by Lady Gaga that his mom died when he was young and then shares a bit about the difficult relationship he had with his father, who was a heavy drinker, emotionally absent and died when Jackson was an early teen.

Ally responds by singing this to him, “Tell me something boy, aren’t you tired of trying to fill that void?”

This scene is important for two reasons:

1. Ally, along with the movie audience has now been with Jackson when he was drunk and walked into a bar, he continued to drink with Ally and it’s obvious that he is a heavy drinker. But why?

Gabor Mate M.D. an expert on addiction and trauma says we shouldn’t be asking “Why the addiction, we should be asking why the pain?”

Well, Jackson just told us, in that parking lot scene why he’s in pain. We need to stop turning a deaf ear to this. Jackson listed 4 out of the 10 ACEs (adverse childhood experiences) and if Ally asked him more questions he probably would have revealed more.

ACEs are incredibly common regardless of your gender, socio-economic, geographic or educational background.

The ACE study found that most people (64%) have at least one ACE. Having an ACE score of 4 nearly doubles the risk of heart disease and cancer. It increases the likelihood of becoming an alcoholic by 700 percent and the risk of attempted suicide by 1200 percent. 

2. Ally now has important, valuable insight into Jackson’s heart and soul (because he himself offered up his trauma story to her) which means this is NOT the foundation or time with which to create a romantic, sexual relationship.

I know. We want the collective fairy tale. The “beauty” saves the “beast” the girl gets the “bad boy” to fall in love with her and only her and ride off into the redemptive sunset, it can be exhilaratingly addictive, but it’s also confusing and painful. Which is exactly where this movie ends up!

However, it did depict the reality of how unresolved, unacknowledged trauma comes out. The scene where Jackson stumbles onto the Grammy stage created a visceral, nauseating feeling in my chest. Not because he has a “disease” of “alcoholism” where he couldn’t control his alcohol intake and everyone gets to shake their head and think, poor guy, thank God the rest of us aren’t that bad. But because none of us are immune to this. We all have something that has emotionally cut, traumatized us, yet when we don’t have anyone who can really be there to support us, see us, soothe us during that time it comes out sideways, often years later with too much alcohol, addictive love relationships, food etc. Our “scene” may never look like Jackson’s public scene on the Grammy stage, but it can feel that way in the private corners of our own lives.

Cut to the next scene, Jackson goes to a treatment center and once again shares a bit more of his trauma story. This time he reveals how he tried to hang himself from a ceiling fan when he was young, but the fan fell from the ceiling and aborted his attempt. The fan remained in the middle of the living room for days as his father stepped over it and around it and never acknowledged it was there. When Jackson told this story to his therapist in treatment, the therapist laughed.

This movie is about the white elephant (of trauma) that’s in the room, our rooms. Yet we often step around it, sing around it or laugh around it. The end result of how this all plays out in the movie is hard, and dare I say, traumatizing to watch. Bradley Cooper, the director, co-writer and lead actor in the movie says it himself.

During this 20-minute interview, he/they never once mention addiction or alcohol. But when the interviewer asked Cooper at the 5: 40 minute mark “what is this movie about?” the first descriptive word out of Cooper’s mouth is TRAUMA!

See this movie for what it is — a traumatizing view of trauma. But don’t confuse trauma with romance. In order for collective healing to happen, we need to see and separate the two!

]]> Episode 26 – #TheDryLife + Social Media https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/2018/04/episode-26-thedrylife-social-media/ Sun, 15 Apr 2018 03:09:05 +0000 https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/?p=10352
Jolene and Aidan talk about how social media and Instagram initially brought them together to start this podcast. They discuss how online platforms have played a role in changing how we think about drinking.

It has become easy to quickly form online alcohol-free communities and the alcohol conversation is shifting because of podcasts, blogs, Instagram, and FaceBook groups. There is a sense of accessibility that is powerful and good.

People can dabble and be “sober curious” at a distance. They can listen and participate at their own comfort level. The community of people becoming interested in this alcohol-free lifestyle is growing. But then there is a flip side to social media as well. Are we hiding behind our computer screens? Face-to-face interaction is an important ingredient as well.

She Recovers provides a great in person conference once a year. But do we need more on-going in-person alcohol-free conversations in our local communities? There can be a powerful connection, story, and vulnerability within social media, but we also filter aspects of our lives on social media too.

Jolene and Aidan end by sharing some of their favorite Instagram handles – TheSoberGlow, Tammi Salas, Cleo Wade, Wild Soul Healing, Tell Better Stories 2018, and The_Numinouswho also hosts the in-person NYC Club Soda events.

In the end, look at the balance between your in-person and online communities. Follow and unfollow in whatever way feels good to you.

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]]> Episode 25 – Other People’s Opinions https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/2018/04/episode-25-other-peoples-opinions/ Sun, 15 Apr 2018 03:03:56 +0000 https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/?p=10349

What do others say when they are drinking or not drinking around us?

How did Jolene and Aidan navigate other people’s opinions early on? People will certainly have conversations and opinions, but the fear of what others will think and say is often worse than what’s actually said.

Some people can be threatened or feel strongly that drinking is a part of life that shouldn’t be missed. Taking alcohol out can feel punitive, perfectionistic and unnecessary for many people.

However, the stronger you get in your own stance and the decision to not drink the easier this all becomes. If you feel confident and carry that energy into your interactions and social life, Jolene has found her friends have stayed her friends regardless of whether she drinks or not. Some people have even pulled her aside and said they’re thinking about cutting back or taking a break from drinking themselves.

Arm yourself with an explanation of why you’re not drinking. It can be quick and simple. Also, ask yourself how much you’re seeking and needing permission from others to do or not do something? Some people will prefer for you to keep drinking, and there can be mild to moderate pushback, but opinions are just opinions. Let people reveal themselves, they might surprise you with their support.

The judgment goes both ways, we can also judge those who drink too much as well. Self-awareness and critical thinking is the key. Is there something sideways or off with a relationship in the first place to elicit comments or could the person who is judging be drinking too much themselves?

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]]> Episode 24 – The Moderation Question https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/2018/04/episode-24-the-moderation-question/ Sun, 15 Apr 2018 02:57:07 +0000 https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/?p=10344 Is it possible to moderate? What do Aidan and Jolene think about moderation?

Aidan says she could moderate but felt miserable. It wasn’t pleasant to think about and plan for all the time. It takes the joy out of her day. However, moderation helped bring both Jolene and Aidan to their resolute decision to stop drinking for good.

Jolene found once she drank the first glass of wine the neurochemical activation had begun and it was very difficult to moderate and say no to more glasses of wine.

If you’re thinking about moderating you’ve probably passed the point of being able to moderate. Your energy might be better spent in simply stopping altogether. However, limiting and cutting back on alcohol is a great first step. Questioning why you want to be able to keep drinking is helpful too.

The question becomes not can you moderate, but do you want to moderate? It’s a choice. Ultimately for both Jolene and Aidan, dealing with the hard stuff in life is better than the merry-go-round of back and forth drinking. Quitting drinking doesn’t guarantee or protect us against things. There’s nothing wrong with moderating and it’s often a path to stopping. Willpower is exhaustible. Critical thinking your way through this question is helpful even if it doesn’t feel like it at the moment.

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]]> Episode 23 – Memes + Marketing https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/2018/04/episode-23-memes-marketing/ Sun, 15 Apr 2018 02:51:35 +0000 https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/?p=10340
Jolene and Aidan discuss the troubling marketing of alcohol memes toward women and moms. The promotion of excess as a way to escape and cope is what’s being promoted. These memes send the message that drinking is the way to make life better. As many are quietly trying to feel okay and justify their own drinking it’s easy to thoughtlessly share these memes.

Aidan voices her concern for people who are currently struggling with alcohol and how this marketing shows up in their lives especially when it’s brought into the wellness world.

What is the message we’re sending? How can we question without coming across as angry? Wine has become a big part of the female culture and the feminist message of independence. Women are being sold the message that booze is a way to take the edge off but we’re really just diluting our power. Habitual alcohol consumption is stripping us of our strength — energetically and emotionally.

Tell Better Stories 2018 on Instagram is calling this out.

Jolene and Aidan also share ways we can all be more mindful and pay attention by refusing to share alcohol memes, comment diplomatically, and speak to business owners who sell or share these memes. It’s time to think critically and outside the box about alcohol marketing.

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]]> Inositol: My Favorite Anti-Anxiety Supplement https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/2018/03/inositol-my-favorite-anti-anxiety-supplement/ Wed, 07 Mar 2018 21:19:43 +0000 https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/?p=10229 What Is Inositol?

Inositol is a naturally occurring substance. It’s sometimes called Vitamin B8 and it’s one of the most versatile nutrients for promoting brain wellness, relaxation, and restful sleep. It’s also a crucial nutrient for female hormonal health because it supports optimal liver function.

Benefits Of Inositol:

Inositol helps maintain healthy serotonin and GABA metabolism, so it has been shown to be effective for:

-Depression

-Agoraphobia

-Anxiety

-Panic disorder

-Obsessive-compulsive disorder

-Binge eating and bulimia.

Signs Of Inadequate Inositol:

-Difficulty falling asleep

-PMS, fibroid tumors, and other problems caused by female hormone imbalance

-Depression, anxiety

Which Foods Are High In Inositol?

It’s mostly found in fruits like oranges and cantaloupe. Inositol is also found in wheat germ, brewer’s yeast, bananas, liver, brown rice, oat flakes, nuts, unrefined molasses, raisins, and vegetables.

How Does Inositol Work?

People who suffer from depression and anxiety often have reduced amounts of inositol in their spinal fluid. It’s unknown whether the lack of inositol causes depression, or depression leads to a lack of inositol.

Many people find when they boost their inositol levels they significantly reduce ruminating, obsessive and anxious thoughts. It has a calming, non-tranquilizer effect which can improve sleep, depression, and OCD. Inositol has a similar beneficial effect to SSRIs without many of the SSRI side effects.

Side Effects Of Inositol:

Pregnant and breastfeeding women are advised to check with their doctor before taking inositol or any supplement.

Nausea can be a common side effect associated with any B-vitamin consumption and can be remedied by taking a smaller amount.

Contraindications:

Inositol is NOT recommended for rapid cycling of moods, psychosis or bipolar disorder.

How Much Inositol Should You Take?

It depends largely on the condition for which you are taking inositol. Always consult your doctor before taking inositol and follow recommended dosages on the label.

-Standard dietary supplement dose up to 3g per day.

-Clinical depression and anxiety up to 12g per day.

-Clinical obsessive-compulsive disorder up to 18g per day.

 

Where Can You Buy Inositol?

High quality, neutraceutical grade brands are always best. If you buy from a retail health food store like, Whole Foods, I recommend the Jarrow brand.

 

Studies & References:

1. American Journal of Psychiatry (1995): Findings from the study showed that frequency and severity of panic attacks and of agoraphobia lessened significantly after inositol administration, with minimal side effects. The authors concluded that inositol can be a potential therapeutic option for panic disorder.

2. Journal of Clinical Psychopharmacology (2001): In this study, researchers compared the effectivity of inositol versus the SSRI drug fluvoxamine in addressing panic disorder. During the first month of the study, it was discovered that inositol reduced the number of panic attacks experienced by patients.

3. Benjamin J, Lenine J, Fux M, Aviv A, Levy D, Belmaker RH. Double-blind, placebo-controlled, crossover trial of inositol treatment for panic disorder. Am J Psychiatry 1995;152 (7):1084-6

4. Levine J. Controlled trials of inositol in psychiatry. Eur Neuropsychopharmacol 1997;7(2):147-55

5. Levine J, Mishori A, Susnosky M, Martin M, Belmaker RH. Combination of inositol and serotonin reuptake inhibitors in the treatment of depression. Biol Psychiatry 1999;45(3):270-3

6. Belmaker RH, Bersudsky Y, Benjamin J, Agam G, Levine J, Kofman O. Manipulation of inositol-linked second messenger systems as a therapeutic strategy in psychiatry. Adv Biochem

 

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]]> Episode 22 – Finding Your People https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/2018/01/episode-22/ Fri, 12 Jan 2018 04:48:21 +0000 https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/?p=10185
Aidan and Jolene discuss how they found alcohol-free like-minded people through blogging, Instagram, FaceBook groups, and when social media connections can turn into friendships in real life.

Jolene mentions how This Naked Mind and The HOME podcast weren’t available when she stopped drinking so the online world is quickly and rapidly changing.

They mention in-person groups like AA, Refuge Recovery, SMART Recovery, Women and Sobriety, Life Ring and the importance of being with people face-to-face which helps calm and regulate the nervous system. Aidan is part of a sober bookclub that was started by Mia Glow who is SoberGlow on Instagram. Begin to research and explore what local groups are in your area and available for you to tap into.

While some friendships dropped away, they both added many new people to their life as well. Being public can expedite finding your people. Aidan recommends paying attention to people’s energy and how it impacts you. If there are people who criticize and make you feel less than, they are not your people.

The flip side of how you find your people is how you let go of people. It can be hard and difficult at times to step away from certain individuals and groups but take the time to find communities that resonate with you because we all need human connection and support.

 

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]]> Episode 21 – Public Or Private? https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/2018/01/episode-21-public-or-private/ Fri, 12 Jan 2018 04:41:42 +0000 https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/?p=10182
Aidan was public with her decision to not drink in 2012 with her Year Without Wine blog posts, but Jolene stayed quieter and more private in the early months of quitting drinking for good. Jolene shares how she wrote a blog post when she was 60-days alcohol-free but she didn’t publish it. Through the evolution of not drinking though, they both developed and claimed more of their voice, which Jolene demonstrated in her recent TEDx talk.

It’s a very personal decision that depends on many factors, but if you feel called to speak out, Aidan recommends speaking publicly because the connection to others that it brings can be profound. Waiting for others to give us permission to go alcohol-free will never happen, so there is a leap we must take. As time goes on family and friends do tend to step up and are supportive of our decision.

Ask yourself what is your purpose in being public? For Aidan, she believes it’s a conversation that needs to happen. For Jolene, she feels there is a missing piece regarding the physiological neurotransmitter, and brain chemistry side of things. She is also passionate about shaking out-dated paradigms and breaking stigmas surrounding alcohol.

If you’re private about giving up drinking the decision still benefits and is reflected in all areas of your life. Find what serves you – being public or staying more private – the benefits need to be for you, not someone else.

 

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]]> Episode 20 – New Year, New You? https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/2018/01/episode-20-new-year-new-you/ Fri, 12 Jan 2018 04:38:22 +0000 https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/?p=10178
Do you make New Year’s Resolutions? What happens when, if you fall off course or routine? In this episode, Jolene and Aidan discuss The Four Tendencies (the upholder, the obliger, the questioner, and the rebel) by Gretchen Rubin.

They also discuss how personal values, intentions, and clarifying your ‘why’ plays a role in making decisions and choosing things like your word for the year. When we understand our patterns, approach, personality, and biochemistry we can make empowered edits within our own lives.

Is Dry January good or is it just a way to just beat ourselves up for indulgences through a ‘cleanse’? Could a 30-day cleanse be a way to make us feel like we always need “to fix ourselves.” Jolene believes a true cleanse needs to be medically supervised and we need to be careful that we’re not starting from a place of thinking we are deficient or defective. Both Aidan and Jolene agree that when we think of making a change as a way to improve and add/enhance something it tends to stick and last longer. They end this episode with how they plan to celebrate New Year’s Eve and what their core values, over-arching intentions are for 2018.

 

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]]> Episode 19 – Special Occasions https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/2018/01/episode-19/ Fri, 12 Jan 2018 04:35:39 +0000 https://www.healthydiscoveries.com/?p=10173
There will always be a holiday, a special event, anniversary, or celebration during the calendar year. It doesn’t matter if it’s December, April, July or any other month. Aidan talks about her recent holiday party that she hosted and Jolene talks about her first birthday without alcohol. When we shift our focus from the alcohol to the event, conversation, connection and activity it opens up a new realm of experience and possibility of truly being present in social situations.

Both Aidan and Jolene have found that instead of feeling ostracized or questioned about not drinking, what actually happens is people pull them aside at parties to tell them they are rethinking their own drinking and they are considering cutting back as well.

Social situations can sometimes feel uncomfortable, but that initial discomfort does pass. This episode ends with how Jolene and Aidan plan to stay connected and present during this holiday season. They share some fun drink options and a reminder that fun enjoyment can and does happen during special occasions without alcohol and everyone doesn’t always drink!

 

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CONNECT WITH JOLENE:
Craving Brain Coaching
Jolene on Instagram
Email: jolene@healthydiscoveries.com

CONNECT WITH AIDAN:
The Dry Life Blog 
Aidan on Instagram
Email: aidandonnelleyrowley@gmail.com

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