'You've got your hands full'

Twins whose TTTS was corrected in-utero born in May

2009-06-12T13:00:00+01:00

LIANA Sophia and Amaya Noel were born May 4, 2009. Their parents are Esther and Bjorn Dixon of Minnesota. Esther went to Texas for in-utero surgery to correct Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome that was discovered on an ultrasound. The Dixons have a blog, Bjorn & Esther Dixon. Congratulations!

also blogs at Deep Muck Big Rake. Write her at becky_handsfull@yahoo.com.

Triplet has triplets of her own in Michigan

2009-06-11T13:00:00+01:00

AMIR, Armann and Amari Whitaker were born May 26, 2006, at Sinai Grace Hospital in Detroit. Parents are Amber Ali, a triplet, and Andre Whitaker. The babies are in the NICU until they gain weight and can go home. For anyone who'd like to help by donating baby supplies, call Northwest Women's Care at the hospital at 313-966-5101.

also blogs at Deep Muck Big Rake. Write her at becky_handsfull@yahoo.com.

Quadruplets arrive in Utah

2009-06-10T13:00:00+01:00

GEORGE, Dimitri, Sophia and Isabella Agrapides were born June 7, 2009, at Intermountain Medical Center in Salt Lake City.

also blogs at Deep Muck Big Rake. Write her at becky_handsfull@yahoo.com.

'Raising Sextuplets' reality show to air on WeTV

2009-06-09T13:00:00+01:00

THE Masche Sextuplets of Arizona will star in a new reality-television show on WeTV, slated to start June 11, 2009.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

also blogs at Deep Muck Big Rake. Write her at becky_handsfull@yahoo.com.

Texas couple expecting sextuplets

2009-06-08T22:07:15+01:00

Read their updates on their blog, Stansel Journey.

also blogs at Deep Muck Big Rake. Write her at becky_handsfull@yahoo.com.

On holiday in Ceredigion, West Wales

2009-05-26T04:47:00+01:00

THE following is a dual post from our new travel blog, which I've been working hard on.

WE're often found at a caravan at Quay West Holiday Park in New Quay, West Wales. Here are some images from our stays there as well as some beautiful images of the surroundings from Bigstockphoto.com.

Pictures show: Emily and Melissa with cousins Eleanor and Sarah on top of Constitution Hill, Aberystwyth. (After riding the cliff railway and before contemplating a walk to Clarach.)

The chapel at Mwnt.

Emily on the beach at New Quay.

Melissa on the beach at Aberporth.

Aberystwyth Castle.

* Do you have some favourite holiday snaps you would like to share? Get in touch if you do!

Making connections with other multiples

2009-05-24T16:10:59+01:00

I've sought out other parents of multiples since I learned I was pregnant with twins. I understand how important connection can be, especially from parent to parent. We made another interesting connection yesterday.

We'd been to see a parade in the morning and were out eating lunch before running some errands and heading home. A man stopped by our table and told us what a beautiful family we were. (Nice intro, by the way.) Then he asked if the girls were twins. As I mentioned in a comment in Linda's recent post, most people don't even realize my daughters are twins, so I was surprised and said, "Why, yes, they are!"

Then he told us that he was an identical twin. He and his wife had seen our daughters, and they'd wondered if they could be twins.

That's the first time a twin has reached out to my twins. It was kind of nice.

also blogs at Deep Muck Big Rake. Write her at becky_handsfull@yahoo.com.

Giveaways at our new sister site, www.havealovelytime.com

2009-05-22T20:52:33+01:00

WE'VE started a new blog at Have a Lovely Time all about family holidays, short breaks and activities.

Thank you to Potty Mummy, Mom Most Traveled, Englishmum and Littlemummy for being the first guest contributors and joining our team.

Big thanks also to Cartside, Exmoorjane, Laura from Are we nearly there yet Mummy and Dulwich Divorcee for the posts they have lined up. And a massive thanks to Camilla and Keris for all their hard work.

Amid all these kind offers of contributions,* we've also been contacted by various companies pledging their services/products as giveaways to our readers. Not all of these offers are accepted, I hasten to add.

In the next couple of weeks, I will update our 'giveaways' page to include more details and set a deadline of the end of June for this batch of goodies.

But I also wanted to highlight what some of the giveaways are.

So far, among them are:

A Wall-e Disney BluRay disc

Five copies of The Kingdom of the Deep by Frank Hinks (More details and review to follow)

Frommer's Turkey with your Family (Review to be written by the winner)

Five bottles of Flexitol Naturals Skin Nourishing Oil.

To be in with a chance of being selected for one of these giveaways, please send your name, address, email address and daytime phone number to:

Have a Lovely Time

2 New Street

Bridgtown

Cannock

Staffs

WS11 0DD

These offers are only open to UK residents. The draw will be made on Tuesday, June 30. Please note you should send a separate postcard or sealed envelope for each giveaway and one entry per person per giveaway is allowed.

Please also check out the rest of our terms and conditions.

Don't forget you can also check out best deals and special offers in our online store here.

By shopping here, you can help support the site.

Do you mind when people refer to your children as "the twins" or "the triplets"?

2009-05-22T17:48:47+01:00

I SORT of know I shouldn't care about this, yet I do. I know it's not the end of the world and there are lots more pressing matters we can all turn our minds to, but when people call my daughters "the twins", it irritates me.

"They have names, you know," I want to point out. (But of course don't because then well, the other person would see that I sort of cared about something so outwardly trivial.)

What do you think? Perhaps you call your children "the twins" or "the triplets" anyway? Do you think I'm talking complete nonsense? Absolutely no offence taken if you do, by the way, I'm a thick skinned old thing.

"But what about calling them 'the girls, does that wind you up in the same way?' someone asked me this afternoon when I mentioned it.

No, it doesn't. That still seems less representative of a complete unit to me.

My children are twins, so it does seem pretty ridiculous when you think about it. But by calling them 'the twins' as often as some people do, I fear they are being lumped together, and their individuality being ignored. Assumptions are being made about them both having the same likes and dislikes, skills or plans. Ho hum.

Will welcome any comments...do you think I'm over reacting?

Depression: My story, plus why you journalists should speak up if they are feeling down

2009-05-19T08:56:54+01:00

THE following piece appears in this month's Press Gazette, but isn't online.
I'm posting it here, as well as on my blog for freelance writers, in the hope of further raising awareness that mental illness doesn't have to be 'dirty little secret' - even if when you are in the midst of it, the last thing in the world you'd ever want to do is tell people!
As someone who is fully recovered, I hope my experience and the advice offered here by freelance journalist colleagues, the NUJ and charities, may help others suffering the effects of a mental illness.
I'd welcome any comments at the end of the post, especially from others with similar experiences. Again, I hope this could help show those going through a tough time that they are not alone.
AS I sat on my bed at 3am, sobbing and contemplating throwing myself through the window, I knew I had to seek medical help. Despite thinking everyone would be better off without me, part of me was still rational enough to know I didn’t want to feel like this.

That day, in my work as a freelance journalist, I’d interviewed two women. One had lost one of her twins at birth; the other had been kidnapped at knifepoint.

Both began to cry on the phone. I started too and couldn’t stop.

The thought of letting down these women by not being able to tell their stories, not to mention the editors waiting for the copy, was too much to bear.

To my shame, I never went back and explained to those interviewees why their stories never saw the light of day. I lost contact with the editors too. I didn’t want to be remembered as the one who was nuts.

Like all journalists, I can thrive under pressure. I know it's part of what being a journalist is all about. But I was trying to do too much.

It brought back terrible memories of a doctor telling me I had ‘reactive depression’ years earlier. In a newsroom, I’d been told to ‘fuck off home’ as I was ‘obviously mental’. That was after taking time away to visit a brother seriously injured in an accident and returning with what my editor called ‘a face like a slapped arse.’

I raged inside and wondered if any other industries got away with treating employees like that. I never spoke up and quit instead.

Another former regional journalist, turned freelance, who has suffered with depression, Cath Janes, says there’s no doubt her work added to her illness.

She says: “It can be exhausting, pressurised and isolating.

“When I was a staffer I had a very serious bout of depression. I needed a few months off.

“Most people were sympathetic but one or two key figures didn't understand. I remember my editor describing my anti-depressants as tranquilisers, which made me sound bananas. “I went into his office just before I was diagnosed to tell him that I couldn't cope any more. He and my line manager told me any problems were my own fault.

“I decided that the only way out was to end it all and I even cleared my desk so that no one would have to sort through my things when I didn't come to work on Monday. It was only my partner finding me in extreme distress that evening that saved me.”

Cath believes a stigma attached to mental health problems has decreased among journalists.

“It's still not easy though,” she says.

“You have to be ultra-reliable. If you admit to depression suddenly you don't seem reliable any more.”

For Ed Harrison, an ex deputy editor on a trade magazine, pressure at work led to what he now calls a ‘mini breakdown.’

He says: “My work hugely contributed to my illness. I was put under so much stress and had been mistreated for so long that it finally became too much for me.

“I had no control over the situation and ended up working until 10 most nights and every weekend. I was constantly undermined by my co-workers and the management style was chaotic.

“I stopped sleeping at night. It reached a head when I returned from work and found my editor had changed all the content and brought forward the press deadline, expecting me again to work the entire weekend. I got into a complete state, had a panic attack and had to be sent home in a taxi.”

Ed says that rather than being supportive, his employers viewed his behaviour as ‘skiving’.

“They didn’t understand that I was simply unable to work. I was hyperventilating and could hardly leave the house. The slightest thing would trigger a panic attack and I couldn't work properly for six months.

“In the end I resigned. None of my colleagues sent me a card or anything. They clearly had no concept that I was really quite ill.”

Philip Marsh is a magazine reporter who says he has suffered a total collapse of confidence, due to the current gloomy outlook for journalists.

Philip, who has recently been diagnosed with depression, says he has a “crushing inability” to work and has feelings of desperation and loneliness when readers comment negatively on his work.

“I'm concerned about the future of journalism, not because for personal reasons, but simply because it appears to be of little value in today's world. In order to feel positive about it I would need to see newspapers and magazines prospering. I don't see that.”

The experiences recounted here are the tip of the iceberg.

In its campaign to reduce stress at work, The NUJ quotes research from 2002 which found around five million UK workers experience stress and half a million believe it makes them ill.

With more than 1,000 journalists losing their job since June 2008 to April 2009, NUJ equalities officer Lena Calvert says colleagues left behind are inevitably put under more pressure.

“They have to cover all the duties of their colleagues who have been made redundant. “It's not just excessive work loads and working very long hours that cause this stress but it's also the feeling of loss of control and the inability to do a job well,” she says.

“Many journalists don't realise that they are ill because of stress. Often journalists will blame themselves for not being able to cope and this makes matters worse. The profession has an image of the "intrepid reporter" and it is often difficult for a journalist to accept that the lack of staff, resources and employer attitudes is the problem rather than their own wrongly perceived inadequacies.”

Despite this, Lena says it’s difficult to advise people suffering from mental health issues about speaking up.

“Someone who is already stressed or depressed will find it hard to accept that they will need to alert their employer and ask for supportive measures - as they will fear that declaring their vulnerability could, in many cases, make them a target.

“As a union we have used health and safety legislation, particularly the HSE stress analytical tool, to negotiate on behalf of members who have been dealing with unacceptable levels of stress leading to mental health conditions.

“We've also referred employers to the fact that mental health is now covered by the Disability Discrimination Act and negotiated disability leave and counselling for members, along with other simple measures that have a good effect, such as flexible working or shorter hours.“

Former Morning Star journalist Paul Corry is now policy director at Rethink, a charity campaigning for a better quality of life for those affected by mental illness. “When I worked as a journalist, 10 years ago, the culture was very macho and you were judged as much by how much you could drink in the pubs along Fleet Street as by the strength of your story,” he says.

“It’s clear now that a lot of the drinking was self-medication to stave off the fear that your sources would dry up and you would find your by-line disappear to a rival. Today, journalists are expected to multi-task and perform to a 24-hour agenda in a way we never were.

“Too many still see mental health problems as malingering or a personal failing. A growing number are recognising that they have to do something about it.”

Cath Janes has some straightforward advice for anyone feeling under pressure who fears they may be suffering from depression.

“Be true to yourself. If you have depression there is nothing you can do but focus on getting better. Don't ignore the signs, and don't put up with anyone bullying you. For God's sake, leave. No job is worth destroying your health over.”

NUJ: Putting an end to stress at work campaign.

Rethink:

National Advice Service on 0845 456 0455

* I'm the director of Midlands agency Passionate Media and a media advisor to Mental Health Media, one of the charities, along with Rethink, which is backing the Time to Change Initiative.

Time to Change, a four year campaign to end mental health discrimination.

* Some names have been changed.