A guest post by Steven Aitchison of Change Your Thoughts

How did you find yourself reading this article, did you see it on twitter, was it part of a regular pattern i.e. you have signed up to Mary’s newsletter or RSS feed or did you happily find it by chance?

This is what we will be talking about in the article today, Serendipity.

Serendipity is defined in the Oxford English Dictionary as:

“The occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.”

I met Mary Jaksch in a serendipitous way. I was doing a Google search about writing and clicked on a few links, one of which was for a website ‘Write to Done’ a blog by Mary, and Leo Babauta. I thought nothing of it as I didn’t know Mary, but knew Leo quite well. I then stumbled across a blogging course by Leo called A-List Blogging Bootcamp. I quickly signed up for it and lo and behold, our very own Mary Jaksch was one of the facilitators on the course. That is the story of how Mary and I know each other and it all came about with a simple search on Google about writing and ended up me going on a blogging course and meeting Mary.

I love the word serendipity; it’s one of my favorite words. I don’t quite know why I love it, maybe it’s the flow of syllables or the meaning behind it and it’s just a great word. I digress, as I wanted to speak about how serendipitous events can change our lives and ask the question can we increase the chances of serendipitous events happening.

Serendipitous events in Science

Science is littered with serendipitous events that have changed the course of our lives in some way: Alexander Fleming discovering Penicillin happened when he had failed to disinfect cultures of bacteria from his trips and found them contaminated with Penicillium Molds, which killed the bacteria.

Although this was a fortunate accident Alexander had the knowledge and insight to recognize that the Penicillium Mold killing the bacteria was significant in some way and acted on the information. Had he not had this knowledge he wouldn’t have recognized the importance.

Other scientific discoveries attributed to serendipitous events are:

• Isaac Newton’s apple falling from the tree, which led to his thoughts and writings on the nature of gravity.
• Albert Hoffman discovered the psychedelic effects of LSD after he had, unintentionally, absorbed a small amount of it while studying its properties. His bicycle trip home was the first ever acid trip.
• Ian Osterloh, whilst looking at a potential new drug for angina concluded that the new drug had no effect on angina but had a marked effect on something else, the drug Viagra was born.

Does the internet increase the chance of serendipity?

The internet has certainly made the world a smaller place, not literally of course. Without it, I think it is fair to say I wouldn’t have met any of the fascinating people I know, like Mary. Making the world smaller and more accessible also increases the likelihood of happy chances occurring.

I have come across countless people, bought a few products that have helped me, listened to new music that I otherwise wouldn’t have. In fact my freelance writing career was born out of serendipity. I would say the internet has more than increased the chances of serendipitous events happening in our lives.

William McKeen, journalist with the St Petersburg Times thinks there is another side of the argument that says that the internet decreases our chances of serendipity. When we search for something on the net we are looking for something specific and therefore might miss the chance of finding something unrelated as we might in a library. Read William McKeen’s The Endangered Joy of Serendipity here

Steven Johnson, author, wrote a great piece disputing McKeen’s argument called Can We Please Kill This Meme Now which has some great points.

Different types of serendipity

I think there are two different types of serendipity.

Micro-Serendipity – Whereby serendipitous events are specific to us. For example me meeting Mary on a course which led me to be here, writing this article. The main benefactors of this meeting would be Mary and I; however it could lead to others benefitting from our meeting.

Macro-Serendipity – A serendipitous event that can affect a large group of people. The discovery of Penicillin would come under this category.

5 Ways to Increase Your Chances of Serendipity

1. Get out of the house

Imagine you sat in your house all day, every day, just sitting and staring at the four walls, what would your chances of a happy accident occurring; virtually zero. So to increase your chances of ‘micro serendipity’ get out of the house, meet the neighbors, buy from your local shops, go to the library. Although nothing might happen when doing this, it’s good for you to socialize in the real world.

2. Meet others within your field of interest

If you want to be a writer, would you rather hang out with yourself, possibly struggling to write, or hang out with likeminded people who could very well give you the ideas needed to finish your book, or give you ideas for articles etc.

3. Open up your mind

There are possibly thousands of serendipitous events happening around you, which could lead you to change your life in some way, but if you are not open to the possibility then you will not recognize them. Your life is literally a happy accident, open up your mind to the possibility that chance encounters mean something.

Ask yourself if meeting someone three times in different places means something, ask yourself if a book falling on your head means something, ask yourself if finding a college prospectus on a bus means something. By enquiring all the time into signs and their meanings it can lead to unexpected surprises.

4. Follow the signs

Once you have opened up your mind to the possibility of serendipity and the fact that it might be happening all the time around you, start following the signs that you are being presented. You might not believe at all in this strange game but I would ask you to try it for a week and see where it leads you.

To do this ask the question ‘Does this mean something?’ after every event, big or small. Therefore, if you see the same person, three times in different places and it seems a coincidence start talking to them and see what happens.

5. Can it help others

Have you had a micro-serendipitous event that you think could benefit others why not make it a macro-serendipitous event.

Arthur Fry is a good example of taking a micro-serendipitous event and making it a macro one. He wanted to find a way to bookmark his hymnal at church and his subsequent attendance at a seminar on low-tack adhesive led to the ‘Post-it Note’.

What about you?

Have you had a serendipitous moment? Why not share it with us.

Read more by Steven on his blog Change Your Thoughts.

Click here to Download your FREE eBook Overcome Everything

Serendipity

A guest post by Patrick Stoeckmann from Unwrap Your Mind

Breathing – it is our most basic function. And it is the most essential for survival. Yet most of the time we don’t think of it consciously, we just do it.

And we have no choice, since our subconscious tightly controls the automatic rhythm of inhaling and exhaling to ensure our survival.

While there are many techniques to control breathing especially in Yoga, which have certainly beneficial effects on your health if conducted properly, there is a hidden secret in your everyday breathing – this secret is so well kept from your eyes because it is with you every second of your life.

In this article, I am not talking about specific breathing patterns, health benefits or training your breathing. I am talking here about becoming aware of these connecting layers of breathing with the universe, and how this can help you grow on many levels of your life, including the emotional and spiritual level.

Since breathing is for most of us such an unconscious habit, I want you to close your eyes and watch your breathing for about 1 minute.

Go on – do it NOW! What you might become aware is that there are 4 phases or stages in every breath you take.

The 4 Stages of Breathing

• Stage 1: Inhaling
• Stage 2: First Pause
• Stage 3: Exhaling
• Stage 4: Second Pause

Each of these 4 stages has a specific meaning you can use for meditation as well as for becoming much more aware of the different levels of your existence. Each of these 4 stages is a representation of:

• the 4 stages of life and death
• the 4 seasons
• the 4 stages of every day
• the 4 stages of receiving and sharing everything in this world.

By becoming aware of these, you can transform your understanding and your relationship to these important parts of your life.

Now with this exercise, I highly advise you not to force any of the 4 stages – simply just observe them.

Simply close your eyes for some minutes, watch your breathing and become aware of the processes and layers that unfold through breathing. Become aware how breathing connects you with everything.

Stage 1. Inhalation

Inhale air through your nose and not through the mouth, since the nose helps to control temperature & humidity of the air, as well as hindering any dust or other particles in the air from reaching your lungs.

The process of inhalation brings the outer world into your world. It is an act of receiving the outer world, of opening yourself up to connect with the outer world. This receiving act connects you with the whole universe, with every human being that has ever lived.

It is quite possible that with one breath, you receive atoms that have been part of Mahatma Ghandi as well as Adolf Hitler. Want to do the math? Look here.

This shouldn’t frighten you but make you realize that behind the facade and illusion of the world with all its ups and downs, all its terrors and hopes, there is something that connects all of them, permeates them and transcends them.

Let all this into your being. Let the universe with all its vast variety fill your lungs and your whole body.

When you breathe in, then realize that you opened the doors to your system, and you should open your mental and spiritual doors as well with this move, by realizing that you are one with everything.

Say “Come in and thank you for joining me” for about a minute while inhaling.

If you compare the whole cycle of breathing to the cycle of life, this is the phase from birth to maturity. It is the time of spring in the 4 seasons as well as the morning of every day that this stage is associated with. It is the stage where life is given.

In the bible, god breathed life into man, so when man inhales, he receives this life force again. You can realize that this inhalation of life force is not something that happened millions of years ago (if you believe in the Genesis literally), but it is something that happens with every inhalation again.

Breath is what makes our existence and as long as we breathe, we are alive. So every breath you take in is like a new birth. Every inhalation is a new start. With every inhalation, you can make a decision to change. Suck into you that force from a greater spiritual level and rejuvenate yourself by focusing on receiving that power.

Stage 2: First Pause (Between Inhalation and Exhalation)

The first pause between inhalation and exhalation is a moment of keeping, of closing your system from the open phase of inhalation. This is the phase of nourishment, of using what you have received. We just received the power from the inhalation.

Now it is time to use it for ourselves. At this phase, there is a lot happening in our system. The exchange of oxygen (=power) and carbon dioxide (=waste) is what secures our survival, since we would die without this happening regularly.

We cleanse ourselves and nourish our cells and for that we need that little moment of silence. At this moment, silence is born. Going within with all the power we have, we prepare to give it to the world, but before we can give (=exhalation) we need to transform the air (as well as we need to transform ourselves).

We need to become someone else. And we literally are – with every breath, our atomic composition changes, and we aren’t the same person as just a second before.

At this stage, we use that power to change ourselves, to become more, to increase our powers. There is a danger here in that this is the stage where you might want to hold onto what you have just received. You are so full with the good stuff you just received, that you might get dizzy if you don’t let it go.

That is the beauty of this phase. It teaches us to enjoy the gifts we received, yet we also must let go all of the things we received in our life. This phase is associated with summer, noon of every day and the maturity of our life. It is the phase of potency and power that builds up inside.

Stage 3: Exhalation

After we used all the stuff that we needed from air, it is now time to let it go and to share it with the world.

Although we might want to hold on to it for longer, the cycle of breath forces us to learn the lesson of the flow. And with this phase, it is time to let the air flow out from you.

It is a phase of giving yourself to the world. Give what you have received and more. This time you share yourself with the world. Some people are frightened by this phase, about giving away the power that you felt inside. And we subconsciously might fear, that we won’t get another breath in. That this is our last breath.

The last act we do in our life before dying, is giving our last breath.

That is also a powerful metaphor. The last thing we do on this earth is sharing and giving to the world. It’s been said, that you can’t take anything with you from this earth. So no matter how much you amassed through your life. You give it away in the end.

The big lesson of this stage is to let go. To give yourself away. To not be afraid of it. To enjoy it. This phase is associated with autumn, evening of every day and the later years of your existence (maybe after you retired).

Stage 4: Second Pause (Between Exhalation and Inhalation)

We then have another pause -but this pause is quite different from the first one.

While the first pause was one full of power, this one is the pause of being empty and powerless. However, this state of being powerless doesn’t mean helpless or lost nor does it need to be frightening.

It is like a cup that prepares itself to be filled again. This filling up is coming from the outside and the big lesson that this phase can teach you is to become still.

It is the passive phase; the phase of stillness; of waiting for what will come to you. After you’ve given everything, you are waiting, listening and at this time you are connected with your creator, because he might come to you to give you another breath, and give power and life to you again with the next inhalation. And so the circle closes.

This stage is associated with winter, night and sleep as well as with death. If you believe in reincarnation, this concept will be easy for you to understand, since death is just a phase before being born again.

Even if you don’t believe in the concept of reincarnation, you should know that science has proved that no atom ever gets lost. It just moves to another form. And yet while your body might not been born again, every atom of your body moves to build other forms after you are gone. And in this (real physical) sense, you have given yourself to the world to build new forms.

Then you yourself became a creator in this world with your last breath as well as becoming part of everything.

Becoming aware of this enables you to use the power of breathing to reconnect you with your creator, the universe and the powers that lie within.

You get the true understanding that everything is just flowing and changing, just like you.

You are reborn every minute.

I am looking forward to your thoughts on this issue.

Read more from Patrick at his blog, Unwrap Your Mind.

Click here to Download your FREE eBook Overcome Everything

Apply the 4 Secrets of Universal Breathing – and Be Reborn Every Minute!

Image by .craig

A guest post by Anastasiya Goers from Balance in Me

A lot of times, I hear the phrases “Be your best,” “Live your best life,” “Be the best in everything.” You can buy books and read tons of articles that will “teach” you to be your best (you can check out Optimal Thinking: How to be Your Best Self if you want to employ “the best” attitude).

I think that these mottos create a generation of perfectionists who are highly unsatisfied with everything they have in life because they do not believe that they have reached “the best” status.

What is the problem with being the best?

Well, I can’t say that I am the best I can be. Sometimes I do not look the best, sometimes I do not feel the best, sometimes I do not make the best decisions, sometimes I am not the best mother or wife and sometimes I am not the best friend. Striving to be the best will make me a failure in my own eyes because I cannot live up to the expectations of the “best world.”

Being the best means that you constantly have to climb to the top of a ladder that you have created for yourself. You cannot stop and appreciate the moment as well as you cannot let yourself go down a few steps.

Every day you are hungry for new achievements and new proofs of your “bestness” (being the best in your professional field, earning more money, being the best parent, being the best student, being the best in a competition, having the best house etc.).

After you have achieved all of this you start pushing your own desire for being the best onto people around you (you want the best partner, the best kids, the best parents and the best friends).

When they do not fulfill your expectations you feel like they’ve failed you and that they are not good enough to be around you. This leads to a deep feeling of depression, dissatisfaction with your life, permanent loss of happiness and a 100% imbalance.

For peace of mind, we need to resign as general manager of the universe - Larry Eisenberg, actor

Instead of being the best, I choose to be good in everything I do and this makes my life much more balanced and fulfilling. The motto that I try to follow is “Good is good enough.” I think that this motto can help anybody to live a good life where they can comfortably find their own ZEN.

How do you incorporate the “Good Is Good Enough” principle?

Here are just a few ideas that can get you started and I am sure that you can transform them to fit your life and desires:

• Set your own standards in life. Do not follow somebody’s else example or vision of life
• Do not compete with everybody around you
• Be in touch with yourself
• Be grateful for what you have (appreciate even the smallest things like a sunny day or a smile on your partner’s face)
• Look at the big picture. Do not fret about little things like dishes that have not been washed or grass that hasn’t been mowed in a while. What is more important: these details or your general well-being?
• Do not expect much from others, just be grateful for who they are and for the fact that they are in your life
• Write a list of expectations of the best you. Analyze this list and decide which of these expectations are really important and will make you happy
• Do not try to be the best self for somebody else (for your partner, your kids, your friends or colleagues)
• When the thoughts of “bestness” start chasing you, fight them with loving-kindness meditation

What are your ideas about being the best?

Do you think it is important to be the best, or would you rather be happy and balanced by using the “Good Is Good Enough” principle?

I am looking forward to your thoughts on this issue.

Read more from Anastasiya at her blog, Balance in Me.

Click here to Download your FREE eBook Overcome Everything

Stop Being Your Best and Enjoy Life

By Mary Jaksch

How do you respond to emergencies: are you calm and resourceful? Or do you throw a wobbler?

In general, I’m a good person to have around in an emergency. I’ve even assisted in an operation (with no medical training) when a junior surgeon in a third-world country couldn’t control the bleeding after a minor operation on a friend of mine. Blood began to pool on the floor and spray up to the ceiling. I focused on handing the tools and surgical squabs to the doctor (who went rather pale herself), as well as reassuring my friend. Everyone survived.

But now and then I do throw a wobbler – especially if I haven’t taken basic precautions. And that’s the nub of it:

If  you  prepare for emergencies, you can stay calm, save time – and sometimes even lives.

Because the speed with which we respond, is often crucial for survival. Let me give you a scenario: let’s say that you are in a foreign country and your partner or friend suddenly gets sick and needs to go to hospital. That happened to me a short while ago and while my partner’s temperature rose at a frightening rate, I was frantically trying to trace his travel insurance and find out which hospital to go to. That wobbler could have been avoided if I had had all the necessary information to hand right from the start.

So I thought it would be a good idea to write a post on how we can prepare ourselves for emergencies. I’ve listed below a series of questions. See how many of them you can answer with ‘yes’.

Personal emergencies

1. Do you have all your insurance details at hand in case of health problems, fire, or burglary?Tip: Send yourself an email with details to a gmail address so that you can access them any time..
2. Do you keep your doctor’s number, as well as the number of your local hospital in a prominent place?Tip: Stick a note to the wall above your home phone..
3. Do you know what to do if you think you’re having a heart attack?Tip: Check out “Cough CPR” here. It’s a CPR that you can do on yourself. Some doctors endorse it – and it’s worth a try..
4. Have you completed a First Aid course or a recent refresher? Tip: Make completing a First Aid course a priority. It can save lives..
5. Do you know your blood type?.Tip: If you don’t know your blood type, donate blood. Then stick a note into your passport stating your blood type..
6. Do you know what to do if a fire breaks out?Tip: Have an escape plan. Keep a fire extinguisher in the kitchen and have it checked each year..
7. Do you have a smoke alarm in each room of your home?Tip: Change the batteries once a year..
8. Have you got a burglar alarm in your home?Tip: Have your house checked by a security specialist..
9. Have you got a video or imagesof your possessions?Tip: Walk through your house and video your possessions or take photos. Keep this video in a safe place..
10. Does a family member or trusted friend have your email passwords.Tip: This will allow her or him to alert your friends if something happens to you..
11. Does a family member or trusted friend have details of your life insurance?Tip: This can make things a lot easier for those you leave behind..
12. Does a family member or trusted friend have you Power of Attorney?Tip: This is important at any age. If you are incapacitated, someone can then carry on necessary business tasks for you – like pay your bills..
13. Have you made a will?Tip: You should make a will even if you think you don’t own much. It makes things much easier for your loved ones..
14. Do you back up your computer regularly? Tip: It can be devastating to lose important files stored on one’s computer. Buy an external hard-drive and get used to backing up at least weekly.
    

    Civil Emergencies

15. Do you have a transistor radio in order to hear what’s going on?Tip: Keep the emergency radio tuned to your local station and keep some replacement batteries handy..
16. Do you have torches and batteries, as well as matches handy?Tip: Keep the torches and matches where you can feel for them in the dark..
17. Do you know how to safeguard your house against earthquakes?Tip: Fasten cupboards against the walls; store good china with padding between plates..
18. Have you stored drinking water?Tip: You should have 20 liters of drinking water in an airtight container..
19. Have you got emergency food supplies?Tip: Check out this list of suggested non-perishable foods..
20. Do you know what to do when an earthquake strikes?Tip: Immediately stand under a door frame or crawl under a table..
21. Do you know how to prepare your home for a hurricane?Tip: Check out this list of tips..
22. Do you know how to keep yourself safe during a hurricane?Tip: check out these guidelines..
23. Do you know what to do if a wildfire threatens?Tip: Check out these preparations..
24. Do you know how to spot a Tsunami?Tip: Check out these tips.
    

    Travel

25. Have you read your country’s travel advisory to see if your destination is safe at the time of travel?Tip: Civil unrest often shows up only in large urban areas, whereas the countryside can still be safe..
26. Do you know the number of your embassy in your destination country?Tip: If you are traveling in an unsafe area, let your embassy know in advance..
27. Do you know the national emergency number of the country you are in?Tip: Don’t assume you know it. Check with locals..
28. Have you scanned your passport and emailed the image to a trusted friend or family member?Tip: Getting a new passport will be much faster if you can produce an image of the lost one. You can use your digital camera to take a shot of the important pages..
29. Have you sent an itinerary of your overseas trip to friends and family members?Tip: If you change your movements, let them know..
30. Do you know what to do in times of civil unrest?Tip: Move into a large hotel, stay inside, and ring your embassy.
    

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Conclusion

It’s not pleasant to think about what could happen. But if you have are prepared you can let let go of worries.

Some people don’t want to prepare because they feel it attracts the emergency. I don’t think that’s true. And some people have strange magical beliefs about safety. Here’s an example: a while ago I was riding in a car with a woman who love crystals and studies their healing properties. On the dashboard she had lined up seven fist-size quartz crystals. I eyed them warily.

“Elisabeth,” I said, “those crystals worry me. If you have a car crash they’ll turn into deadly projectiles.”

“No, no!” She answered. ” Those crystals prevent me from having a car crash.”

That  kind of magical thinking will earn you a full-on wobbler when you finally do have an emergency.

How to keep calm in an emergency

Here are some simple tips that can help you stay sensible and grounded during an emergency:

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31. Take some deep, calming breaths

32. Focus on the next step ahead

33. Always have a fall-back plan.

34. Reassure with words and touch sick or injured people.

35. Make this your mantra: “They way forward is…” (Your mind will fill in the blank)

36. Focus on others, not on yourself. It will make you stronger

What’s your sense: should we prepare for emergencies, or not?

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Have you got some stories about how you handled emergencies? Or some tips? I’d love to read about them in the comments.

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Note: I’m about to go on a trip into the jungles of Costa Rica with my brother George. So during the next three weeks I will be far away from computers and won’t be able to access the Internet. Arvind Devalia will look after Goodlife Zen during that time and I’ve invited some friends to write guest posts. Check out Arvind’s inspiring post 6 Key Lessons in Life From a 140 Year Old Man. Make sure you click on all the links for some suprises!

Click here to Download your FREE eBook Overcome Everything

How to Avoid Throwing a Wobbler in Emergencies: 36 Tips

By Mary Jaksch

Are you happy? Are you getting happier? If not, the Positive Psychology movement may rate you a failure. Happiness has become the primary goal of the self-help movement. And a thriving business. You can even buy an application for your iPhone that make you happier. Guaranteed. In this application you can see a graph of your happiness and track whether it’s going up – or down.

Talking of business – you can also subscribe to Happier.com. They guarantee that you will feel happier in just seven days. Yeah, right.

Happiness has become a commodity that you can buy.

I have an uneasy feeling when I think of people hunched over their iphones, obsessed with watching their happiness graphs. It implies that happiness itself is a worthwhile goal for a life.

Is it?

I must admit that I’m not always happy. In general, I’m pretty positive, but somethings things are also a little darker. Those times are uncomfortable. But they are often fertile times of change and insight.

For me, happiness is a by-product. My goal is to live a worthwhile life that enriches the lives of others. That makes me happy.

What is your sense of this: Is happiness a worthwhile goal?

I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments.

(Note: if you’re reading this in an email, just click on the headline and it will bring you to the website. Scroll down to find the comment section.)

Related Posts:

Want to Feel Happier? Try Kindness

Does Choice Make Us Happier?

Authentic Happiness

Future Happiness: Why We Get It So Wrong

17 Sure-Fire Ways to Lift Your Spirits

Click here to Download your FREE eBook Overcome Everything

Is Happiness a Worthwhile Goal?

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A gem is not polished without rubbing, nor a person perfected without trials. ~ Chinese proverb

.By Mary Jaksch

We all know how important mental and physical strength is for our well-being. But in order to overcome any hardship, and create a life that’s not just ordinary, but extraordinary – we also need spiritual strength. When all three kinds of strength – physical, mental, and spiritual are present, we can become spiritual warriors.

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Being a spiritual warrior doesn’t mean we’re super-human. It means that we’re able to overcome hardship. This is what the secret code of the Ninja – the shadow-warriors of ancient Japan – can teach us.

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The Ninja taught that one should embrace hardship. We all know that the hard times, when we have to grit our teeth and just simply continue walking uphill – step by step – are the ones where transformation begins.

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Actually, a weird transformation happened to me during that first Blackbelt grading –  I’ll tell you about it  in this short video. (I trained in karate for 18 years and finally became a 4th Dan Blackbelt.)

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The secret teachings of the Ninjas are based upon the ancient Chinese lore of the four elements: earth, water, fire and wind. It may sound esoteric, but this wisdom is really practical and down to earth.It can help us find a new perspectives when we get stuck in life.

1. Be like the earth

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This secret is about being grounded. When we are grounded, we are steady and collected in mind and body. In terms of martial arts, to be like the earth means to stand your ground. In life this translates as staying steady and remaining grounded in reality.

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Exercises:

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1. Take off your shoes, go outside, and connect with the earth through your feet. Closing your eyes and breathing into your belly, imagine roots growing from your feet deep into the ground.
2. Walking meditation is another wonderful way to become grounded. You can read how to do it here.

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2. Be like fire

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Fire has tremendous power that can be used for survival – but it can also be destructive if not contained. A spiritual warrior embraces fire in the form of passion. The seat of fire energy is in the hara, or lower belly. Anger is also an expression of fire energy. Most times anger is destructive, but there are also times when it is a skillful emotion. Anger can give us the strength to stand up against injustice, and the courage to defend ourselves against all odds.

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Animals use fire energy for survival. I’m sure you’ve seen how a kitten threatened by a dog can turn into a furious ball of puffed-up fur that goes on the attack. Even big dogs choose to turn tail and run when faced with such a fiery little monster.

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.In terms of martial arts, fire signifies attack. In life, to be like fire means using passion in order to overcome barriers.

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Exercise:

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Place both hands on your lower belly and feel you breath there. Close your eyes and connect with the power and passion in your hara (lower belly).

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2. Be like water

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The softest things in the world overcome the hardest things in the world.
~ Lao-Tzu

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Water finds its way to the sea. No matter what mountains block the way. A mountain stream (like in the image above) flows gracefully around rocks.  In terms of martial arts, to be like water means to avoid, or deflect an attack. In life, to be like water means to find ways of reaching your goals by moving around an obstacle, instead of confronting it head-on.

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Exercise:

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Place both hands on your chest and feel your breath there. Close your eyes and connect with your steady purpose and quiet courage.

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4. Be like the Wind

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The wind can change direction at any moment. It has no fixed direction. As human beings, we suffer from the opposite: as life goes on, we become more and more fixed in the way we live and in the way we think. We become creatures of habit, and change seems more and more difficult.

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In martial arts, to be like wind means to adapt to circumstances without pre-conceptions. In his book  The Spiritual Practices of the Ninja, Ross Heaven says:

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The Ninja reckoned that 80 percent of our available energy is locked into habits that stem from generational and social conditioning. They became expert warriors by using their enemy’s reliance on habit against them and employing the element of surprise – the other 20 percent – themselves.

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Because we fixed in our ideas of who we are and what we are capable of, we miss countless opportunities to grow and develop. Doors open in life – but sometimes we don’t see them. We walk past because we don’t expect to see a door there. When we become like the wind, we can be light and flexible in our thinking an actions.

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Exercise:

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Stand up straight and stretch out both arms as far as you can – as if you are poised for flight. Close  your eyes and feel the energy in your fingertips. Notice how light your body feels.

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How to use these secret teachings

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What I find really useful is to recall these four different modes of being when I’m faced with a situation in which I feel stuck. i take each energy in turn and apply them to the situation. Say, for example, that I was in conflict with a loved one. Each of the secret teachings can reveal a way forward. It may be that reflecting on earth energy would give me a sense that I need to stand my ground, and  fire energy would give me the courage to speak the truth. On the other hand water energy would remind  me to keep true to my path in life, and wind energy would suggest that I move gracefully around the problem without confronting it directly.

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Every time we are stuck, it helps to find new ways to think about the situation. And this is the beauty of the Ninja teachings – they are simple, but deep.

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Who were the Ninja?

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We know little about the origins of the Ninja, the ‘children of darkness’. They practiced the arts of stealth and invisibility in the mist-shrouded mountains of medieval Japan. It is thought that these warriors were ex-military men who fled China after the collapse of the T’ang dynasty and settled in Japan. When they arrived in Japan, the Ninja became teachers of martial arts, philosophy, and mysticism adapted from the esoteric knowledge of India and Tibet and the spiritual practices of Chinese monks and shamans.

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Few records were kept of its existence. Most of what is known about the ninja is taken from stories that have been passed down from generation to generation. The history of the ninja is shrouded in mystery.

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Here is a short video with an overview of Ninja history:

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Even though Ninjas disappeared over four hundred years ago, their teachings still pervade martial arts to this day. And they can help us be more resilient and resourceful in the face of difficulty or hardship.

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What’s your experience with challenges and hardship? What did you learn about yourself?

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Get my free Ebook Overcome Anything! Just go here and enter your email address.

Video credits:
Photos: Caterpillar by mrclean1982; Pansies by kuzeytac.
Music by Chango Spasiuk: Infancia from Pynandi

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These Four Secrets of the Ninja Can Help You Overcome Anything

Here’s an example from Rio De Janeiro:
Four young American guys rented a jeep and went on a mission to explore the dramatic countryside around Rio. On their way back, they used the car’s GPS system to find their hotel. The GPS system chose the shortest route – which was right through a favella (a poor area governed by drug barons).
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Suddenly a shot shattered the windscreen. The driver stood on the breaks and the car shuddered to a halt – just in front of a band of armed toughs.  They stole everything. After being beaten, the Americans finally managed to escape and limped back to the hotel – wearing nothing but their boxers. They later blamed their experience on the crime culture of the favellas. But these guys could have easily avoided the mishap – if they’d followed the safety tips below – especially no.10!
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I’ve traveled safely right around the globe. As a 4th Dan karate Blackbelt I’ve learnt to spot and avoid danger. Most of all, I’ve learned to be peaceful – which is the key to safe travels. Check out the following ten safety rules which will keep you safe – at least most of the time.
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1. Spot the good people

Travel guides often suggest keeping an eye out for the bad guys. But it’s actually much more important to spot the good ones! There are good people everywhere. You can find them in all walks of life. Good people respond to kindness and courtesy – human values that transcend culture and country.
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If you treat everyone with consideration, you’ll find that good people will protect you.
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Here’s an example:
A couple of days ago I was chatting to a stallholder in a local Buenos Aires crafts market. As I was about to walk away, she tipped me a wink that she had just spotted a well-known pickpocket nearby. (In South America, the sign for ‘watch out!’ is a forefinger under one eye.) She quickly pulled me into her stall until he had passed.
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2. Follow  local customs

Before you enter a country or an area, find out what the local customs are. Otherwise, you may inadvertently offend people. Here are some important questions:
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• Do you take shoes off before entering a home?
• Which hand to you eat with?
• Which hand signs are inappropriate?
• Which rules should guests observe?

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I once saw an English guest in a Moroccan home show his appreciation of the meal by holding up his hand and forming a ring with forefinger and thumb. Unfortunately the head of the family took this to mean, “You’re an a…hole!” The scene got ugly and the tourist was bundled out of the house in a hurry!
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Locals like travelers who respect local customs.
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When I first visited Fiji, I had read that it’s good manners to pay a visit to the Headman of a village and offer a gift of Kava roots. My partner David and I bought a sack of Kava roots before visiting outlying islands. Each time we came to a new village, we made our offering and the Headman would then prepare a ceremonial drink of Kava and call some of the other village elders to join us. (Kava makes your mouth go numb and your legs feel like rubber. It’s passed around the circle in a huge wooden bowl and tastes of boiled gym shoes.)
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Once we’d completed this ordeal, the villagers welcomed us with open arms!
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3. Share food

In Morocco it’s considered impolite to eat food without offering it to others. This is a great rule to use when traveling. If you want to eat on a bus or a train, make sure to offer some food to those sitting around you, before tucking in. If necessary, buy a store of biscuits to offer around – as you may not want everyone chomping on your sandwich before eating it yourself.
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4. Don’t flaunt your baubles

Leave jewelery behind when you travel, and wear only a simple watch. If you have a camera, try to keep it out of sight. Poverty can make people desperate, and your show of wealth may mark you as a possible victim.
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5. Allay fears

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In remote communities, strangers spell danger. Make sure that you allay any fears by introducing yourself. If you don’t speak the language, find a guide who can translate for you. I once traveled with my brother George to a remote village in the Darien, a huge jungle area between Columbia and Panama. The only strangers ever seen in the village were cocaine smugglers from Columbia who raped and killed at whim.
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To allay any fears, we went from hut to hut accompanied by the local teacher who could speak the tribal language. We stopped at each hut and greeted the family. The villagers then relaxed and even put on a feast in our honor. In preparation, the women took me aside and – with much giggling –  dressed me in one of their festive costumes. Then the villagers showed us their sacred dances by the light of a bonfire.
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6. Tell a good story

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Traveling is a luxury that most people can’t afford. The idea of tourism is foreign to people who lead simple lives. Explain your journey in a way that makes sense to the locals. For example, when I was traveling in Morocco with my son, we told people that Sebastian was accompanying me in order to chaperone and protect me. (In rural Morocco females are closely guarded by male relatives.)
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7. Avoid being mugged

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There are some very simple ways to avoid being mugged.
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• Make sure you have local information about which areas are safe, and which are dangerous – and follow it. (This is were the American tourists who strayed into a favella went wrong).
• Don’t walk through empty streets in the dark
• Watch out for people showing anomalous behavior and avoid them.

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8. Carry a hold-up wallet

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Even if you follow the safety rules above, you may still get mugged. If you are faced with weapons, hand over your cash. The trick is to have a special “hold-up wallet” in your pocket with some money, but no credit cards. Hand over this special wallet immediately – but look gutted. Carry your credit cards and other money next to your skin in a money belt.
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9. Learn four crucial words

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If you are in a country that doesn’t speak your language, you need to learn four crucial word fast: “Hallo”, “Thank you”, “Please”, and “Help!”
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10. Don’t be an idiot

Before you travel to an unfamiliar place, do some research in advance. When you arrive, get advice from locals. They will tell you where it’s safe to go, and which areas to avoid. There are lots of people who hear such advice – but don’t listen to it because they think they know better.
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These ten tips are common-sense, but most travelers disregard them. The main reason tourists get into trouble is that they remain insulated within their own cultural bubble – without making contact with locals and without trying to see life through their eyes.
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Travel as a peaceful warrior: stay alert, but make courteous and friendly contact with everyone you meet.
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Mary Jaksch is an author, Zen Master, and psychotherapist who likes dancing tango in skimpy dresses. You can read more of her stuff on Goodlife Zen or on Write to Done or get her free Ebook Overcome Anything.

Click here to Download your FREE eBook Overcome Everything

The Peaceful Warrior Guide to Safe Travel: 10 Crucial Tips

A guest post by Justin Dixon of A Little Better

We live in an amazing century. It is entirely possible to run a good portion of your errands without leaving your home. We can move faster than ever, learn more than ever, and do more than ever has been done before. There is a price to be payed for in this extra convenience. We have used the advances in civilization not to make mans life easier but to make it more hectic.
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It is easier now than ever to forget that you are a human being and not a production machine. Its easier now than ever to lose track of things more important than the stock market. A little reminder here and there can go a long ways to making a difference. So I’ve listed out 34 of these little reminders for you to browse through and check every once in a while.
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1. All great achievements started as a little dream. You see and hear of people doing such great things all the time, but its really easy to forget that all of those great things had to start off as someone’s little dream. So don’t sell your own little dream short.

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2. You don’t know what you can really do. You are growing ever day. Even if you have tried something and failed now you have learned another way to not do that. The only way to know for sure what you can really do, is to test it on a regular basis.

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3. Nobody starts off on top.
   All of the great men and women in the world had to prove themselves to someone. Every single one of them had to learn how to do what they did with an extreme excellence. That started with the beginner steps. There is nothing shameful about starting off not knowing what you are doing. Every body starts that way.

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4. Nobody really wants to be evil. Despite propaganda news to the contrary the vast majority of people in this world are just trying to live the best life they know how. It really is okay to trust people. There’s a lot more to be gained through this than is to be lost in the long run. Even Hitler was just trying to make the world better, though misguided he was.

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5. Most people don’t realize when their being daft. Any time I am about to get angry in traffic I repeat the following mantra: “common sense, is hardly common”, and with that I breathe out my frustration and move on. The guy who cut you off, most likely didn’t see you, but don’t worry, there is surely something that you do that drives people nuts. I think my siblings have a list of things from me.

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6. People are not your enemies; false ideas are. We are directed primarily by our thoughts of who we are, what the world is, what the world must be, and what we should do about it. Each person acts accordingly. So before you decide that another human being is the cause of all turmoil on the planet take a moment to look at the ideas behind the action. A better solution when presented properly will disarm the ideas that lead to harmful actions.

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7. If you are alive, you are still young.
   All the people that I have known who have lived dynamic lives, no matter their age all have this attitude of “I am young and dumb till the day I die, and if I ever forget it I’m asking for trouble.” It kept them learning, and it kept them from using age as an excuse.

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8. It rains and shines on everybody at some point in time. When the hard times hit don’t take it personally, and be weary of judging others according to their circumstance.

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9. We all mess up sometimes. Some things you just have to learn the hard way, its not fun, but so long as you learn it’s worth it.

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10. Most of what we stress about is imaginary. Those what if questions that plague your mind are distracting you from the question you need to be asking. Rather than what if? ask what is?

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11. This moment is sacred. I kid you not that right now is the only moment you have, you are not guaranteed a tomorrow and your past is just memories now. You are not only alive, but a part of this incredible universe. There is not one moment more sacred than another as there is only one moment to be in. That would be now.

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12. Worrying doesn’t help. Not only are worries most of the time not real, but we actually put our health in danger at the same time making mistakes more likely.

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13. Take risks. Tell the girl/guy. Try to start something new. Get a different choice off of the menu. To live you must grow; to grow you need risk.

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14. We all need to be reminded of the good sometimes. It is far too easy to forget that the vast majority of people are good and trustworthy, and that as a whole this world is beautiful. Send a reminder when you can.

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15. This world is beautiful.
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    From the man made structures that took such ingenuity to the majesty of nature herself, the precision and mystery behind existence itself makes the world an incredible place to live in.

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16. You are enough. Just as you are, you are good. You are enough to meet the challenges of your life, and you are enough to go after your dreams. Raise yourself up so that you can remind others that they are enough too.

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17. You do not need permission to be happy. Do what you need to and choose to be happy. Being miserable will help no one. This world needs all the happiness we can show.

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18. Other’s do not define who you are. You define who you are in every choice you make. So if someone doesn’t see what you’re made of yet, don’t worry about it. Just work on living an example.

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19. Live by your values; not the crowds. Even if everyone else thinks its right to do something if your own conscience tells you not to do it, than don’t. It will make you both more honest, and happy.
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20. You never know what will change someone’s life. So show kindness and speak truth whenever possible. Tony Robbins became who he is because an anonymous person gave his family food.

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21. You never know what will change your life. Showing kindness, and moving out of your comfort zone could connect you with something that could make you happier than you ever were before. Keep an open eye for what you can learn.

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22. Spiritual life is very important. Take time to do something that you find sacred. It doesn’t matter what, just do it. “You don’t have a soul, you have a body; you are a soul.”~C.S. Lewis

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23. There are still new opportunities to see. As much as the human race has done, and as far as we have come, we are not done growing. Pursue your ideas, pursue your dreams, even if they don’t catch on the ideas that take us in to the future are going to have to start somewhere.

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24. Someone has to start the change. Why shouldn’t it be you? Look at what type of person this world needs, and than commit with all your strength to be that person. “We must be the change that we wish to see in this world.”~Ghandi

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25. Remind others that they are worth something. There is not one of us who does not have something to offer, but we all need reminders that we can change the world, otherwise we’ll just get tired. A good way to start this trend is to make it a point to give those reminders yourself.

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26. Love is not a feeling, its a way of life. If you want to be loving, than choose loving behaviors. Don’t just pick a few people, love as many people as you can, and call out the most lovable features in all of them.
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27. There is no excuse to not be amazing. It doesn’t matter what you are doing, you can set your own standards on how it is done. You are the one who sets the standards for your life.
28. Without struggle their is no achievement. Remember this when you face hard times. Difficulty and struggle is not your undoing but rather you’re opportunity.

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29. Take things one step at a time. I know there is a lot to do. You can only do so much though. Rather than try to do everything at once pick one step and focus on that completely. When you’ve finished with that than pick another.

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30. Smile often. This relaxes the body and improves your mood. It can also make someone else’s day.

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31. It is going to be okay. Chaos is what we see when we can’t see the full picture. There is always something that will work its way out. Just be patient, and this too shall pass.

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32. Be patient with others. They are trying to live life the best they know how. Besides the impatience hurts you more than it hurts them.

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33. Don’t give up. If you have a beautiful dream than go after it, even if you don’t achieve your dream you could be the inspiration for someone to achieve theirs.

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34. Be patient with yourself. Learning takes time, growing takes time, changes worth making take time. Being impatient with yourself will only get you frustrated and make it harder to do what you are fully capable of. Just give yourself time.

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This list is just the reminders I could come up with, but as busy as our world gets there are surely more things that we need to be reminded of every once in a while. What would you like to be reminded of sometimes? What do you think people need to hear more often? What reminder are you going to live for others to see?
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Read more by Justin Dixon on his blog A Little Better

Click here to Download your FREE eBook Overcome Everything

34 Reminders For a Fulfilled Life

Do you sometimes feel droopy, exhausted, dry, joyless, irritated or anxious? Is life sometimes on fast-forward, and you can’t catch up? Are you sometimes too tired to be inspired, motivated, or uplifted?

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You may be suffering from spiritual fatigue.

It means that your soul is exhausted, not just your body.  Spiritual fatigue is a sign that we have become separated from ourselves somewhere along the way and need to reconnect. Luckily, you don’t need an expensive holiday on a tropical island in order to recover. If you follow the steps below, you will notice a definite improvement after even just one day.
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There is a simple way to replenish our spiritual energy: through stillness.

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Stillness is a beautiful word. It conjures up images of a relaxed body, a peaceful mind, and silence. In the busy world of today, stillness tends to get lost. However, there are simple ways to include stillness in our life. Even just one day with some stillness goes a long way to help you recover from spiritual fatigue.
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To recover from spiritual fatigue is isn’t difficult. All you have to do, is to follow the seven (and-a- half) tips below

1. Rest the body.

When we suffer from fatigue, we feel as if we could sleep for a whole week. But when we go to bed, we often toss and turn and can’t get the sleep we so desperately need. In my experience, it isn’t sleep we need, it’s rest. We need to rest our body, and rest our mind.
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In order to feel rested, power naps are more useful than long sleeps. I use a sleep hypnosis tape in order to relax and nap.

• Lie down and cover yourself to stay warm
• Set your alarm so that you wake up after not more than 30 minutes
• Listen to a relaxation audio. There is a good sleep hypnosis recording, created by Jon Rhodes. It’s free and you can download it here.

2. Find the mind of peace.

When the mind is at rest, we feel peaceful. But this is sometimes difficult  to achieve in a stressful life. There are so many things that disturb the mind. To find stillness is to be like a rock in the midst of a turbulent stream: we remain steady even when everything around us is turbulent. Here are three simple things you can do to quieten your mind.
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• Spend a day without reading newspapers or watching the news on TV or reading about it on the Internet.
• Spend a day interacting as little as possible with people who make you feel agitated.
• Use the Three Breaths Meditation at least 3 times a day in order to calm your mind. The Three Breath Meditation only takes about one minute. It consists of paying tender regard to three complete breaths (watch the short video below on how to do it).

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3. Let silence heal you.

Noise is a stress factor. If you live in a big city, you are constantly bombarded with noise. We also add to the constant assault of sounds through listening to the radio or TV, playing music, and so on. Silence can heal because it brings us to our center. Here are some simple ways you can invite silence into your day in order to recover:

• Eliminate background music
• Go on a TV diet and turn it off for a complete day.
• Only speak when you really want to communicate. Otherwise be silent. Try to use a smile instead of words.

4. Have a laugh with friends.

Laughter is a great way to let go of tension. And good friends have a way of putting things back into perspective. Ring up a friend, or connect with them on the Internet.

5. Reconnect with nature.

Going for a walk in nature is a wonderful way to connect with ourselves and with the world around us. There are some important points to remember: keep your head up, and let go of anxious thoughts. You can find  tips on how to use walking as a spiritual practice here.

6. Use your comfort rituals.

Each one of us has some private comfort rituals. Maybe you enjoy drinking a cup of tea first thing in the morning, or doing a stretch at the open window, eating something you particularly enjoy, or tucking up in bed and reading a novel. Whatever your comfort rituals are, make sure that you take the time to do them. All to often we forget to take our small pleasures because they seem ‘unimportant’. But actually, they are a way to show kindness to ourselves.

7. Use touch for wholeness

To feel the hands of another on our skin is a basic human need. Babies fail to thrive – or even die – if they are deprived of human touch. In order to recover from spiritual fatigue, it is good to feel the gentle touch of a hand, or a warm, friendly hug. Ask your loved one for a soft embrace, hug a friend, or arrange a massage. It will refresh and relax you.
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As you can see the seven things we need to attend to in order to recover from spiritual fatigue are simple. If we allow the body to rest, the mind to quieten, and let silence be the balm that heals us – we recover quickly. And then there is tip number seven-and-a-half:
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Enjoy stolen moments
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In each day you can find stolen moments. Maybe you get stuck in a traffic jam, or you need to wait at the dentist. Instead of fuming at the wait, close your eyes and enjoy this little gift that life has offered you. These are perfect times to do the Three Breath Meditation, or even have a tiny nap. (I tried the ’stolen moment’ technique at the dentist today. It worked in the waiting room, but I must admit that once the drill got going, I started to hyperventilate…)
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What is your experience of spiritual fatigue? What helps you to recover?

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Do You Suffer from Spiritual Fatigue? How to Recover in 1 Day or Less

Life is so rich in offering us a vast array of situations and circumstances, some more challenging than others.  When you are in the position to comfort a friend in crisis, you have been given a wonderful opportunity to express your love and caring.

For some of us, supporting people going through a difficult time can be confusing or awkward, no matter how much we want to be present for them.  Below are some suggestions that might be helpful.  Not all of these will apply to every situation, so use them only if they feel appropriate.

1. Make contact.  When you find out that someone you know is going through a crisis and you want to support them, make contact.  Call, email, offer to visit.  People in crisis often feel alone and alienated and appreciate when others reach out to them.
2. Listen to the story.  At the beginning stages of a crisis, everyone needs to tell their story in their own time.  Telling the story is one of the cornerstones of psychological treatment for trauma.  The job of the friend is to listen.  Communicate concern and understanding by repeating the sequence of events and asking for clarification when you need it.  You might say any of the following:  “Would you like to tell me what happened?”  “You must be so angry!”  “I’m so sorry to hear this.” “How are you feeling?”
3. Be there emotionally.  Think of yourself as a vessel filled with love and support that you are offering out.  Recognize any feelings that you might have about the situation and try to not have them interfere with your ability to show up for your friend.  Keep your personal stories to yourself, along with any judgments or criticisms you might have.
4. You probably don’t know how your friend feels.  Be careful about saying, “I know how you feel.”  When people are reeling from their own feelings, they think that you can’t possibly understand their experience unless you have actually been there.
5. Don’t push.  People in crisis can feel completely out of control and can benefit from making choices.  Rather than insisting on a course of action, offer your friend some options to select from.  Even simple ones matter, as in, “Would you like to go now or later?”
6. Help make decisions.  On the other hand, you might notice that your friend is easily confused and has difficulty making even small decisions.  In this case, you might consider stepping in by preparing a plate of food and offering it or saying, “I think we should….now.  Let’s do it together.”
7. Offer practical help.  Suggest tasks you might take on such as making calls or doing errands.  Be observant to see what is needed, and ask if you can assist.  Especially focus on what children involved may require.
8. Bring food.  Eating is one of the first things to go in a crisis (along with sleep).  Have nourishing food available so that your friend is more likely to continue eating regular meals.
9. Know that emotion comes in waves.   There are no rules about how people should react to crises.  Your friend may feel numb, intensely emotional, or anywhere in between.  All reactions are valid and understandable, even laughter.  Emotions often appear in waves – they come and go.  Be there as a support no matter what your friend is feeling.
10. Let your friend cry.  Recognize if you are uncomfortable with the level of your friend’s emotions.  Take a breath, and fill your vessel with love and support.  Try to be with the emotions without stifling them.  Your friend will eventually stop crying.
11. Be a buddy.  I once read a book on breakups that suggested recruiting a “breakup buddy,” a friend who could be called on night and day in those difficult first days.  Offer to be a support buddy to your friend, someone who he can call any time.
12. Be aware of your triggers.  A crisis is an emotional and stressful time for everyone, making it more likely that people will push each other’s buttons.  If you feel irritated, take a breath and try not to react.  Don’t add fuel to the fire if you can help it.
13. Get professional help on board.  If your friend is suicidal or highly irrational, don’t hesitate to suggest professional help.  Every community has a suicide hotline, and 911 is always available.
14. Rally support.  If you know other people who might like to support your friend, contact them to let them know what happened.
15. You will get through this.  A person in crisis may not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel when the event first happens.  Hold your friend’s hand, look her in the eye, and say, “You will get through this,” or, “This too shall pass.”  She may not believe you at the time, but it will be helpful to hear.
16. Be patient.  Your friend may need to tell the story many times or may still be emotional weeks after you would have begun to move on.  Respect that everyone’s process is unique.  However, if, after giving it plenty of time, you think your friend is stuck in the trauma, you might gently ask, “How do you see yourself getting through this?”
17. Encourage basic functioning.  In the first few days of a crisis, even the most minimal functioning may seem impossible.  Be very gentle in encouraging your friend to take a shower, get dressed, eat regular meals, and take a short walk.  If you know of self-care activities your friend enjoys, such as yoga or going to the gym, suggest these as well, being careful not to sound pushy.
18. Know that nighttime is often the hardest time for people in crisis.  Call in the evening to check in.  Communicate empathy regarding how difficult a time it is.
19. Don’t support drinking too much or other reckless behavior.  Some people may want a few drinks, or more, when going through a difficult time.  Your friend will need to find his own way.  You can be the voice of wisdom by suggesting moderation.
20. Take care of yourself. People can easily become depleted while supporting someone through a crisis.  Pay some attention to your own needs so you can be replenished.  Take breaks, breathe, and get support for yourself.
21. Check in over time.  Often, at the beginning of a crisis, many people are available to help and support.  Over time, people tend to forget and return to the rhythm of their lives.  Keep your friend in the forefront of your mind, and check in in the weeks or months ahead.

Remember that a crisis is a tender time for everyone.  If your intention to support is clear, but you don’t get it completely right, be very forgiving of yourself.  Showing up with a loving, open heart is by far the best medicine.

How have you helped a friend in crisis?  Any suggestions you would add?  I’d love to hear about your experiences.

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21 Ways to Comfort a Friend in Crisis