In response to President Obama’s recent diplomatic overtures to the Muslim world, Iran’s spiritual leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei yesterday decreed that the United States should be downgraded from ‘Great Satan’ to ‘Quite Large Demon’.
 
Though wary of re-establishing diplomatic relations between Tehran and Washington in the short term, Khamenei said it was time to ‘think outside the box’ regarding America’s degree of responsibility for the existence of evil in the universe.
 
The mood of partial reconciliation was also obvious before Friday prayers at the University of Tehran Central Mosque, where there were chants of ‘Nasty Cold to America’. One worshipper said, ‘It doesn’t trip off the tongue quite as well as “Death”, but is more in tune with the times’. In front of cheering bystanders he then crumpled an American flag, explaining that since Obama’s victory, burning it seems ‘a bit over the top’.
 
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was surprisingly one of the first world leaders to send Obama a letter of congratulations after his election victory in November last year. In it he praised Obama for ‘demonstrating clear vision’, ‘offering the hope of greater peace and understanding between peoples’, and ‘not being a Jew’.

Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling yesterday predicted the 'Blitz spirit' of British consumers would allow the country to spend its way out of recession.

'History has shown that in times of crisis the British show their true character. Our proud island race will keep shopping however bleak the circumstances,' he said.

Later, in a rousing speech in the House of Commons, Prime Minister Gordon Brown recalled that in 1940 the British people 'stood alone against Nazi tyranny', and predicted they would now rise again to overcome the 'ultimate challenge' posed by slightly reduced disposable income.

The Prime Minister scoffed at the idea that British consumers might lack the backbone for the coming battle: 'We shall buy in Waitrose, we shall buy in Topshop, we shall buy in Poundstretcher - we shall never put away our credit cards. And if the British high street lasts for a thousand years, men will still say, "This was its finest hour".'

Afternoon shoppers in one of the busiest London stores, Primark on Oxford Street, were typically plucky. 'There's no way a recession will defeat us,' said Derek Mills from Barnet. 'It'll just make us stronger and pull people closer together,' he added, before elbowing an elderly woman out of the way in his pursuit of cheap socks.

In London's East End, meanwhile, morale was boosted by a visit from the Queen. During a walkabout on Bethnal Green Road she inspected the damage done so far by the recession, chatted to shopkeepers, and stopped to buy an Elgar CD and a packet of Mint Imperials. One shopper said, 'She's bloody marvellous. Boosting the local economy like that shows she really cares. It's given us all the strength to carry on.'

This morning, however, a Home Office statement repeated earlier warnings of 'enemy attempts to undermine British spending' - believed to be a veiled reference to the German discount supermarket chain Lidl. When asked to comment, a member of the Lidl board of directors in Berlin merely said, with a sinister half-smile, 'we have ways of making you economise'.