ginnibeam.net

I never said I was an angel

I'm almost 32 weeks pregnant. Isn't that crazy? If I go all the way to 40 weeks, I still only have 8 weeks left--and lately, time goes FAST. It's terrifying and exciting to think how soon we'll have a newborn. I can't wait to meet little Jesse. I feel like I know him already, with as often as I play with his feet through my stomach and sit up late at night feeling him squirm and kick. It's amazing how little you can know about someone and still love them more than life. It's also weird to be hoping he comes as soon as he safely can, and also hoping that he stays put as long as possible so that school will be a little less complicated.

Can't really complain about pregnancy. Sure, there are some sucky parts--insomnia and restless legs, aching joints and strained muscles--but overall I'm doing pretty well. It helps that I've been staying pretty active. I've been taking classes both at Sunstone and at Uptown Yoga (I have a groupon), and that whipped me back into shape pretty quickly. (It's weird to be getting my "second wind" in the third trimester, right?) Even when I'm not going to classes, I'm trying to keep off the couch--taking stairs instead of elevators, doing squats while I brush my teeth and blow dry my hair, going for walks. It makes me feel better and it's keeping me from becoming the size of a barn.

We've been making a conscious effort to eat better. Making healthy stuff, avoiding processed things, keeping track of what I eat each day and how much water I drink--that kind of thing. I do occasionally (maybe more often than occasionally) indulge a strong need for cookies or a danish or whatever my body happens to be convinced that I needs, but because I'm doing well overall, I'm not concerned.

Passed my glucose test with flying colors, but the bloodwork revealed that I'm super-anemic (which didn't shock me, this is how it was with Alma as well). So now I'm taking iron supplements in addition to the four other pills I take every morning (Cymbalta, Vyvanse, prenatal vitamin, Vitamin D supplement). The hope is that it will help with my fatigue, my restless legs, and my dizziness--did I mention that I fainted during the Special Fire Class awhile back? So embarrassing. Anyway, I have to get my iron levels up to 30 to be eligible to give birth at ABC, so there's some motivation as well.

The Fall semester has just begun. I'm taking Biology with a lab at Richland--the last class I need for my AA. It will be tricky when Jesse comes, but I've already spoken with my professor and she's willing to work with me on rescheduling tests that fall around my due date. Any labs that I miss can't be made up, but honestly, it won't hurt my GPA too much to make a low grade in this one class. It's fun to be taking class on campus again, and it makes me look forward to UTA in the Spring.

The plan is to transfer to the University of Texas at Arlington for my BA in English (minor in Creative Writing). I've already been accepted for the Spring semester and met with an advisor and everything. Originally I was thinking I would take an average of 10 classes a year for the next two and a half years and be done with my degree by the time Alma started kindergarten. Now, though, I don't think that's feasible, financially or otherwise. So I'm just going to scale it back, take a few classes at a time, and see how it goes. If it takes me another five or six years to finish, so be it. My family comes first and I couldn't possibly love them any more.

The weeks between semesters were nice. I was able to really help Alan out while he worked by getting things done around the house and keeping Alma busy. And I love spending time with my little girl; she's so smart and hilarious and entertaining. We've done a lot of fun stuff together lately, like parks and playdates and movie night at the water park and Playmobil and coloring. I'm trying to use these fun times to teach little things. No time that I spend with my daughter is wasted time.

I'm coming to the end of my Sunstone career. It's bittersweet; I'll be stepping down at the end of September (my last class will be the Special Earth Class, and it's an honor to be leading such a big event, especially as my send-off). Honestly, even though I'm kind of sad about it, I feel like my love for yoga is coming back stronger than ever knowing that I'll be quitting soon. The possibilities are endless! I'm studying postures that Sunstone doesn't teach, putting together my own sequences, even arranging to teach private lessons. (Some of these will be for money, but some of them I'm doing as a service exchange--we're getting a custom cake for Alma's birthday, and some free photography, in exchange for me giving private lessons.)

All that to say, I guess, that Sunstone and I have had a great run, but we could use some time apart. I may go back someday, but I don't have any plans for that as of now. I'm also hopeful that my paid blogging position might allow me to continue my comp'd membership. Christi and I met recently to talk about another project she has for me, and she mentioned that if I were ever interested in freelance blogging as a full time job, she could put me in touch with the right people. How awesome would that be?

I finished reading the Old Testament and started on the New again (I'm halfway through Acts right now). Absolutely loving it. Prayer remains my biggest struggle, and something that doesn't come naturally to me. I overthink it and psych myself out. I'm taking slow steps to get there, though.

Rachel

I received this message through my contact box:

hi, i just wanted to tell you that i read your poem curiosity several years ago, and i remembered it after my friend died in a very similar way, and it was helpful and cathartic to hunt it down (which was an exercise, i couldn't remember your last name so i just kept googling parts i could remember and the name virginia) and i'm really glad you write because you are good at it. sorry for the run on sentence, thank you for the humanity.

There was no contact information, so this is the only way I can think to respond. I hope she sees this.

Thanks for the kind words, for appreciating the poem enough to remember it after all this time and to track it down, and for taking the time to tell me about it. I'm sorry about your friend. Really sorry.

Also--this is important--thanks for motivating me to write again. It's been a long time since I wrote anything that wasn't school or journaling, and I would like to change that.

Uptown Yoga - a studio review

I've been having some trouble with the heat at Sunstone lately. Not wanting to let my practice wane during these last months of pregnancy, I went ahead and bought a Groupon for 10 classes at Uptown Yoga. Today I took their "Strictly Core" class.

+ The studio was easy to find and I didn't have any trouble with parking (though, from what I've read on Yelp, I seem to be the exception in this area--maybe because I went at a non-peak time and got there a little early?).

+ The studio was nice, fresh, bright, and clean. The cubby area was a little small (there was no actual change room, just bathrooms and a cubby area), but again, I got there a little early, so I didn't have any problems with traffic. I also appreciated that the cubby area was outside the yoga room itself.

+ The room itself was fairly spacious, with nice wood floors and lots of natural light. There was a closet in the back for props (Mexican blankets, straps, and blocks--foam, wood, and cork). They had about five full-length mirrors set up in the very front; maybe one student could see themselves in each mirror, and everyone else was without visual, but it was fine.

+ The room was lightly heated, about 85 degrees. Honestly, being used to Sunstone, I might not have even noticed that it was heated if I hadn't read it on the website already. It was perfect for me: warm enough to loosen my muscles, cool enough that I didn't feel dizzy or sweat excessively. Helpful without being distracting or unnecessary.

+ They encourage everyone to bring their own mats, though they have mats you can borrow if you don't have one. I like this for hygiene reasons and because I lovvvve my mat (though honestly, I take it even when mats are provided). They also asked students who were using a studio mat to spray and wipe it down afterward (those lucky teachers, not having to spray and hang a dozen sweaty mats...).

-+ They had music playing in the yoga room before, during, and after class. This was nice at times, and distracting at other times. (We're doing Down Dog and Kanye West comes on...okay?) For one thing, it seems like the teacher should have a playlist set up beforehand so that she doesn't have to mess with the iPod during class. I would also prefer instrumental, even if it's contemporary, because words are super distracting to me. ("I know that girl's voice. Who is that?" "Did they just say the s-word?") And the volume...a few times it was loud enough that the teacher had to raise her voice to be heard clearly over it. So I like that they have music, I just had some quibbles with the execution.

+ The class is called "Strictly Core," so I came prepared to do more exercising than yoga, but I was pleasantly surprised by how yogic it felt. The pace was very slow and deliberate, no flinging-yourself-around frenzied fitness stuff, and we actually did do a decent amount of yoga. We also practiced a number of exercises that were designed to prepare us for yoga postures (for example, practicing the kick-up for inversions). I even took away a few things that I plan to use in my classes.

+ The teacher seemed nice, and she gave good instruction...

- ...but her instructions definitely could have been more clear and refined. She relied heavily on visual demonstration. She never adjusted anyone and I only heard her address one student directly during the entire class. She also said "mmhmm" a ton. And...maybe it shouldn't matter, but I saw on the teacher profile online that she's only 200-hour certified. I prefer to be taught by people who have gone through at least as much training as I have.

- It's not exactly their fault and I could be reading too much into it, but the clientele (fellow students) all seemed kind of snooty. So, there's that.

- Teacher didn't acknowledge me during or after class. I didn't need a lot, but a simple "you did great" or a question about the pregnancy or SOMETHING would have been nice. Heck, she didn't even say her name at any point during the class. Definite lack of connection.

+ The teacher did encourage us to work at our own levels, "do what feels good," suggesting modifications and advancements, that kind of thing.

Overall I'm pretty satisfied with the experience. Because it was a core-centric class, it was a little tough for me--not having a core at the moment and all--but it was still good. I'm hoping that tomorrow's class, a Vinyasa flow with a different teacher, might be even better. I doubt this is where I would settle long term, but I'm going to enjoy the heck out of my remaining 9 classes.

Moon Glow Mamas Mamaste Yoga - a class review

Moon Glow Mamas Mamaste Yoga (a sweet woman named Amanda who was every inch the hippie) had a free prenatal yoga class at my birthing center, so AM and I went to check it out. It was a small class (5 total participants, including the teacher and the receptionist from the birthing center). Here are some pros and cons, keeping in mind that I'm loathe to be choosy about a FREE class.

+ The class was held in the front "lobby" of the birthing center. Since the center is really just a nice old house, it was like doing yoga in someone's living room on a hardwood floor. I liked the low key environment.

- However, part of practicing in what is essentially an old house is that my muscles were pretty cold/stiff. I don't know that I ever fully warmed up and it definitely affected my ability to stretch.

+ Fittingly for the class size and event, everything was fairly laid back. The teacher did most of the talking, of course, but we felt free to make comments or whatever. The start and end times were also this way--we didn't begin and end exactly at the posted times, but it was okay and felt appropriate. (It also allowed one of the students who was running late to get there.)

+ Amanda supplied all the necessary props, including plenty of bolsters, Mexican blankets, etc. This was especially nice for the supported savasana at the end.

+ Since it was a specifically prenatal class, all the postures were big-belly-accessible and I didn't have to modify anything. That was nice, but...

- I'm pregnant, not disabled. Half of the reason yoga feels so good is because it WORKS the body; we did a whole lot of stretching/lying around in this class, and I can do that on my own at home. I want someone to kick my butt, dangit!

- I also wearied quickly of the constant references to "baby." Not that I don't like talking about my baby, because I think he's pretty awesome, but it felt a little forced. ("Now put your hands on your belly and send all your love to Baby...think about how your body is providing for everything that Baby needs...")

-+ We did some group Kegels...okay...I guess.

- She did exactly one adjustment for each person for the entire class, but...

+ That one adjustment was FABULOUS. We were in Child's Pose and she said, "I'm going to come around and give each of you a stretch. Just put your hand up if you don't want it." (What kind of crazy person doesn't want an awesome stretch in Child's Pose?!) It felt amazing.

+ The savasana was amazing as well. One thing I particularly enjoyed was that she came around and spritzed a little lavender over each of us (just essential oil mixed with water, very light, and towards our feet, not where it was at risk of being inhaled or anything). Again, she gave everyone the chance to opt out, and I appreciated the courtesy even though I definitely wasn't going to turn it down.

So overall? Way more than I would ever expect from a free class, and pretty relaxing/enjoyable. I just wish that the relaxation had come after at least a little bit of hard work. I am completely aware, however, that this is a personal preference, and this is probably exactly what some pregnant women are looking for in a prenatal yoga class. I just wouldn't shell out the dough to continue taking these kind of classes.

Guest Room -> Alma's Room

With Jesse on the way and with Alma getting more and more independent and less "babyish," it seemed like a good time to move her out of the nursery and convert our old guest bedroom into her new room.

Here is the only picture I can find of the guest room from before. We basically hadn't done anything with it. Pretty ugly, huh?

And here's her room now. I LOVE it!

Someone gave us that stool while I was pregnant with Alma. It originally had Disney characters all over it, and we painted it yellow and white to match the nursery. We considered re-painting it to match her new room, but the yellow still works.

We got the toy box off Craigslist for a great price. It has become much more practical as she's gotten older. When she was little, we basically had to pull out the toys for her. Now, she climbs right up and digs around for what she wants. So it's great, but we'll probably go with a different toy storage system for Jesse's room until he's older.

Same concept with the stuffed animal hammock--she plays with everything a lot more when they're down on the floor where she can get them, but I can't stand the clutter, so we compromise by rotating out a few animals at a time for her to use. We bought it off Amazon awhile back (of course) and it's perfect.

At some point someone was throwing away these two rusty-looking metal hooks, and I grabbed them. Because of the dark color we chose for the paint, we decided to only paint two walls and leave the other two the original gray. Painting the hooks the same purple and hanging them as accents on the neutral wall seemed like a good way to tie it together. I wasn't sure how well they would paint, as I've had limited success painting metal accents before, but they came out really well. (And yes...one of them is missing a culicue. She won't care.)

We originally tried a light purplish-pink for the walls and didn't care for it. It seemed too dainty for our crazy girl and looked like a nursery instead of a kid's room. Bright violet it is!

The rocking horse (a gift from one of my fellow yoga teachers) is another toy she's really "grown into." She used to play with it only if we put her up on it first, and then very hesitantly. Now she climbs up on her own and rocks like a wild woman.

There are always two books on her dresser: a children's story Bible, and whatever other book we're currently reading to her (right now it's Ella Enchanted).

Notice anything unusual about the window? It's hard to see here, but her window does not currently have any kind of covering. No blinds, curtains, or even a screen. One of Ransom's doggy friends ate the blinds awhile back, and we haven't replaced them yet because I want to get cordless shutters instead of regular blinds (I'm super paranoid about cords and kids and would eventually like to go completely cordless all through the house), which we cannot currently afford. And an acquaintance messed up the screen while (we think) sneaking in or out of the window. Luckily, the window faces the backyard, so it's still relatively private.

Under the "Howdy" sign (leftover from her Texas-themed nursery), you'll see the dollhouse my crafty mom made for me out of a bookcase when I was little. I used it with Playmobil, which (we have learned) Alma is still not quite old enough to play with properly. So the dollhouse is waiting patiently for Alma to be old enough to appreciate it.

Stacked on top of the dollhouse are all of Alma's art supplies. Still trying to figure out a long-term storage solution so that she can get to them easily, but not TOO easily.

Under the window is Alma's wicker hamper. It was super cheap and has worked well so far.

Right now, we use the closet on the left for toy storage (bulky toys on the floor, toys that she's not old enough for yet in the top of the closet), and the closet on the right for clothes. I had played with the idea of covering the closet doors in chalkboard paint/paper, but I like the way the bright white pops against the dark wall, so now I'm reconsidering.

My dream is to replace the thin rectangular off-white rug with a huge colorful round one (bright yellow, maybe?). If nothing else, it would help keep the floor from getting more scratched up than it already is. I've come to realize that you can't be obsessive about keeping wood floors scratch-free when an adventurous kid lives on them...but I can still try to minimize the damage.

I LOVE the light for this little nook! It's nice to use at night when we're reading to her, since we don't have a night light or lamp or anything. She can't reach these shelves right now, so we use them for stuff that we want to keep in her room but don't necessarily want her messing with. All of the younger kid books (board books, easy readers, picture books) are in the living room on the bottom shelves where she can reach them, but we wanted to keep the more "advanced" kid books in her actual room so that we can pull them out and read them to her at night. Also on these shelves: bubbles, hair detangler spray, gummy vitamins, music box, glass dolls, piggy bank.

We use the drawer on the right for hair accessories and the drawer on the left for hats/jewelry/etc. At some point I will come up with some better organization for all this, because one of her favorite things to do is dig through the drawers and pull everything out.

She seems pretty happy with everything! She loves her big girl bed (a gift from Grammy) and won't go to bed at night without both of her "babies" (one given to her by each of her grandmothers). Right now she doesn't have a true bedding set--just plain yellow sheets, a few random light blankets, one regular pillow, and two "squishy" pillows. I don't foresee us spending money on an actual bedding set until she graduates to a regular size bed.

In the closet her shoes are organized in a little cubby on the floor where she can get to them, with extra blankets stacked on top for now. We use the hanging space for all her dresses and coats, and the space up top for clothes she has outgrown that we're saving for any future daughters. :)

That's all for now! I'm sorry if this is horribly boring to anyone else, but we put so much time into it that I want to document it. Thanks, MD, for helping us paint, and to everyone who gave us the pieces that now make up our eldest's room.