The Solution: Using a patent-pending technology involving space-age polymers, I produced several clones of myself. These clones, virtually indistinguishable from the real me, descended upon Comic-Con. Their mission: Collect data. Collect Schwag. Analyze. Report.

Here are the images they returned:

I arrived at Comic-Con, fresh, full of excitement and ready to begin the weekend.

Ah, the floor of Comic-Con. So many comics to browse. Where should I start?

How about Larry Nemecek’s Next Generation companion?

Here I am, taking a moment to freshen up in the mirror. Yep, everything seems in place, although my stalker in the background is unamused.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I prefer my Transformers Generation-1-style. But I’m sure he gets that all the time.

I don’t have a PS3 (I’m a PC gaming guy myself), but Little Big Planet 2 looks undeniably cute.

Also, in case you didn’t know it, I had a part in a little movie you probably haven’t heard of yet. It’s called “The Expendables,” and it’s going to be this generation’s “Star Wars.”

After realizing that “Stormtrooper Slut” perhaps made me look too easy, I decided to go with “thorny and unapproachable.” I dare you to try now, Stormtroopers!

How could you go to Comic-Con, and not attend an overcrowded panel? Here I am watching Wil Wheaton… I think.

And, of course, the highlight of my Comic-Con journey — getting to hang with Eddie McClintock, who I’ve decided may be a rich man’s Ben Browder after all. He’s a classy guy, even if he did get a little handsy.

What would a good Comic-Con trip be if I slept in a bed? Exhausted, I passed out long before I made it to my room. What a great trip!

The most specialest thanks imaginable go to my bevy of clone handlers, most notably PhysicistLisa, Bkquinn, Geek6Christy and StarfleetMom. One lucky handler will be mailed an “Art of Star Trek” book as soon as I get back from vacation and have time to cull through all of the entries.

J.P. LoveCrafts has a great line of Cthulhu apparel.  My favorite is the “Cthulhu Stole My Heart” shirt.  Cause you know, maybe he did steal my heart.

Also made of greatness are the Cthulhu Rising shoes.  Check out the whole line here.

Ooooo!  I hadn’t seen all of these My Little Pony Mods.   BuzzFeed ranks 50 of the best.   They make me smile.  Here are my favorites.

Hell, I kind of love them all.

*credits to artists after the jump.

Sometimes I miss the heft of the corded telephone.

One of these in my house would make me so happy.  iRetrophone from etsy seller Freeland Studios.  Sadly, I don’t have an iphone.  Maybe if I asked nicely they’d make one for the EVO?

Also available in Steampunk, if you live in that alternate reality.

I am not all that huge of a Star Trek fan.

It is probably the Star Wars fan in me. Too much of an internal struggle to make the two worlds live together peacefully in my brain. But it might also have to do with the three Star Trek Club meetings I went to in 7th grade and all they did was bitch back and forth across the room about whether The Original Series or The Next Generation was better.

My heyday with Star Trek came during ST:TNG. I would crawl into bed, flick on the tele and catch an episode or two on whatever station was running it. And admittedly I liked it. Back then I could not appreciate The Shat for what he is, so I thought TNG was this superbly acted series in comparison.

Following TNG, I never caught onto Deep Space Nine and I am pretty sure I never saw an episode of Voyager. And the only episode of Enterprise I saw was final episode of the series. Fates were being nice to me I suppose.

But with the rebooted Star Trek movie of last year, I felt a small spark begin to smolder deep within me. I am really going to blame it on the lack of decent sci-fi on television, but I will find myself thinking when is the next television series going to show up and what will it be?

In truth, it probably is a while away. That would be because of the rebooted movie franchise and trying to protect those movies at the box office. And also because Enterprise left such a bad taste in everyone’s mouth, can they really bring Trekkers old and new back into the fold with a new series?

But the question lingers…what would that new series be based on? Well here are a couple of answers from my brain.

Star Trek: Academy

Proposed uniform for Star Trek: Academy

This is one goes out specifically for Geek6 resident commenter Amber! Just think about it, sexy co-eds mixing it up at Starfleet Academy as they get ready to find their way into space, the final frontier. They sleep with each other, they sleep with their teachers, they even sleep with that weird guy from Omicron-6. Somewhere along the way, they become responsible adults. The children are our future!

Star Trek: Federation

Battlestar Galactica made space political drama the shiz for four years. Why can’t Star Trek capitalize on that? Thin out the emphasis on the weird and new, and instead focus on the inner workings of the Federation itself as it tries to keep everything together for the betterment of all. The tricksy little Ferengi are always trying to throw a wrench in the works.

Star Trek: Titan

I am a sexy beast.

Bring back the beard! Everyone needs a little beard now and then. And a fat ass. Riker has both. And he somehow got lucky enough to be awarded his own ship. As a plus I am sure he would be willing to write and direct like 75% of the episodes. And the series shall begin as he steps out of a holodeck simulation of the Enterprise…

Star Trek: The New Generation

On the bottom line, isn’t the Enterprise what people really want? Even if it is the Enterprise-Double D? Maybe this new generation can come from the mysterious alternate timeline created by a god named Abrams? Characters you have heard of yet act completely different to what they are supposed to. Plus nekkid green women.

Star Trek: Klingon

A series spoken entirely in Klingon. Bring on the subtitles. And the axe of cancellation shortly there after.

Star Trek: Reality

In this week’s episode we meet the crew of the USS Nicodemus. We will take you on their journey to becoming a recognized crew and how they overcame the ridicule of their family and neighbors in a small town of 300 in the middle of Oklahoma. Next week? We explore Star Trek Con and bring you the best…and worst the week had to offer. Hosted by Armin Shimerman.

See this is why you don’t let my brain ponder. I am sure our good readers have much better ideas on what they would like to see in a new Star Trek television series. So what say you?

Achievement unlocked.

It was a close vote. And the winner is……..Clara.  One vote separated Clara, Cleo, and Bubbles.  So, I’ll keep you updated as I morph into Clara for DragonCon.  I have a trip planned to the Fabric District.  Now, where to obtain a breast pump?

Despite my repeated carlisthenics (my patented exercise regimen), I’m still unable to contort into your carry-on. But don’t despair, my would-be roomie — I’ve discovered a way we can still see the unique sights and unforgettable smells of thousands of geeks packed into tight spaces in the baking San Diego sun.

I’ve assembled your very own Josh kit!

Print out your Geek6 Josh Facsimile (he likes card stock), mount it on a popsicle stick or ruler, and you’re set to go! Too lazy to print it out? If you’re going to Comic-Con, e-mail me your address, and I’ll send you a pre-fabricated Josh Kit!

Of course, without photographic proof, I won’t have any memories of my trip to Comic-Con, I’ll need you to take pictures of me at any panel, cosplay event, late-night romp or compromising position you can squeeze 2-D-Me into.

Send your pictures of me at Comic-Con to this address, and I’ll get them onto the blog pronto.

UPDATE: The person who provides me with the best “My Time at Comic-Con” photo gets a great hardcover “Art of Star Trek” book!

CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD THE PDF!