Wanna find out if he's gay? There's an app for that.
Internet mavens are excited about some breakthrough social networking research, fresh out of the minds of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology. So what's the technology that's garnering the extra attention? An apparently proven gaydar application.
Yep, with Carter Jernigan and Behram Mistree's new software, an examination of 947 profiles correctly "identified all 10 of 10 men the students knew to be gay, but who had not declared so on Facebook, according to a summary in The Boston Globe," reports Gawker.com. The researchers say their goal was to uncover what social networking users are unknowingly telling about themselves in this new age of oversharing and online friending.

"Just by looking at a person’s online friends, they could predict whether the person was gay. They did this with a software program that looked at the gender and sexuality of a person’s friends and, using statistical analysis, made a prediction. The two students had no way of checking all of their predictions, but based on their own knowledge outside the Facebook world, their computer program appeared quite accurate for men, they said. People may be effectively ‘outing’ themselves just by the virtual company they keep.
“’When they first did it, it was absolutely striking -- we said, “Oh my God -- you can actually put some computation behind that,”’ said Hal Abelson, a computer science professor at MIT who co-taught the course. ‘That pulls the rug out from a whole policy and technology perspective that the point is to give you control over your information -- because you don’t have control over your information.’”

Read more about the implications of the new research in The Boston Globe here.

Tell us: Do you "stalk" prospective friends, dates, employees, and/or associates on the Internet? Is information sharing on social networks hurting or benefiting interpersonal relationships?

Image courtesy of Getty

by Lily

Gay rights advocate Harvey Milk to be inducted to The California Museum’s California Hall of Fame. The names of the 2009 inductees were announced today by Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger and First Lady Maria Shriver.

"The California Hall of Fame celebrates our most influential women and men, and honors them for their drive, willingness to take risks, dedication and success in touching the lives of millions of people - not just in this state, but around the world," said Governor Schwarzenegger.

"Now more than ever, I see how the perseverance and passion of one person can have a lasting impact in the lives of people, not only in their community but across the world," said First Lady Maria Shriver. "When talent and a relentless drive are matched, the efforts of a single individual can create a legacy of change, hope and empowerment. Every individual inducted into the California Hall of Fame symbolize the biggest hearts, the greatest drive and the deepest inspiration. It’s an honor to induct these extraordinary individuals who have each made their own unique mark in history."

The California Hall of Fame was created by First Lady Maria Shriver, along with the The California Museum in 2006 to recognize legendary Californians who have influenced the state, the nation and the world.

"Today’s announcement by First Lady Maria Shriver recognizes the important leadership role Harvey Milk played in our state and nation and further illustrates the historic and international nature of his legacy," said Senator Mark Leno (D-San Francisco). "I appreciate the First Lady’s support and admiration for Harvey’s work to further equal civil rights for all people. He gave his life for what he believed in, and in doing so gave hope to generations of LGBT Californians who continue to struggle for full equality. This honor, as well as the Presidential Medal of Freedom awarded to Harvey by President Obama, should only underscore to the Governor the need for Harvey Milk Day in California, and I hope he will return our bill, SB 572, with his signature when it reaches his desk in the next few weeks."

The 2009 California Hall of Fame inductees are: entertainer Carol Burnett, former Intel CEO Andrew Grove, governor and U.S. senator Hiram Johnson, decathlete and philanthropist Rafer Johnson, industrialist Henry J. Kaiser, philanthropist and peace activist Joan Kroc, film-maker George Lucas, football commentator John Madden, gay rights advocate Harvey Milk, artist Fritz Scholder, author Danielle Steel, fitness and bodybuilding pioneer Joe Weider, and Air Force test pilot General Chuck Yeager.

For more information on The California Hall Of Fame visit: http://www.californiamuseum.org/

Image: Getty Images

Something funny happened the other day that I wanted to share.  I was on my lunch hour, paying for takeout at a nearby deli and the always friendly cashier was making small talk with me as she usually does.  But this time, she got more up close and personal, and the conversation went something like this:

Cashier: Are you excited for the weekend?

Me: Totally!  I am so glad it's Friday.

Cashier: What are you going to do?

Me: I really don't know yet, but I think I'm just going to play it by ear. 

Cashier:  Do you have kids?

Me: No, I don't have any.

Cashier: Are you married?

Me: No, I'm not married (Note: At this point, I wanted to just blurt out that I was gay simply for the fact that from the look on her face, I got paranoid that she was concluding that I was a straight woman who couldn’t “get a guy to commit.”  Even the thought of it was painful to me.)

Cashier: Do you have a boyfriend?

Me:  No, I don't have a boyfriend.  (Laughing) God, you must think I'm a loser, right?  But see, I'm gay.  And I have a girlfriend!

Cashier:  Oh my God, you're gay?  You don't look like a lesbian, you're so… pretty!  And funny!

Me:  That’s so funny! Thanks!

As I left the store, not only was I smiling because she thought I was "pretty and funny,” but I was also experiencing an odd sense of pride that she didn't think that I "looked like a lesbian."  

But my bolstered confidence quickly dropped after telling a gay co-worker the story back at the office, when he responded that he was offended for me.  He went on to say that if anyone ever told him that he didn’t "look gay," he would confront that person on “what do you think gay looks like?”

He definitely had a point, and it really got me thinking. Did the pride that I took in the cashier's compliment betray a subconscious shame that I felt in "looking like a lesbian?"  Was I so conditioned by popular culture to believe that lesbians were all mannish and humorless? 

Or was it something else, along the lines of internalized homophobia?  Could it be that I took a certain level of pride in being grouped with straight women who are not only glamorized in the media as idealized beauties, but also are what many of us are conditioned to see as plain old socially acceptable?  Did I want to be in with the in crowd?

In theory I am proud to call myself a lesbian, I like being attracted to women, and have tons of lesbian friends. But maybe in practice, just as gay men continue to put each other down for not conforming to masculine ideals, many of us, no matter how "butch" we are, continue to prize a more feminine, lipstick lesbian ideal of womanhood?

I don't know. Tell me what you think.  Have you ever experienced a similar pride in passing or "fitting in" in the straight world?  If so, why do you think that is?

Images courtesy Getty

For decades, gay men have been forerunners of fashion and style, trendsetters in every field of culture and lifestyle. What gay men do, mainstream follows. We take chances, push the limits and people tucked away in quiet burghs pick up on the buzz, sometimes light years later. So now that the veil has been lifted on the apparent evils of the fake and bake, will gay men lead the charge toward making it chic to be—gasp!—pale?

Since the dawn of time gay men have hit the electric beach to give our skin a golden hue, to make us seem as flawlessly beautiful as we think we are. But now that studies show hitting a tanning bed rank nearly as high as arsenic and smoking as a cancer-causing agent, will there be a drop off? Will tanning "spas" in gay ghettos around the world start shutting down for lack of patrons? It's hard to imagine a gay community without our year-round tan brethren, those who claim to have just gotten back from some exotic locale in February while donning the latest Prada wares despite having been out of work for two months (we all know it's about keeping up appearances, dah-ling).  

If gays can't hit tanning beds, do we now have to resort to using spray-on tans? They might be safer than the ultraviolet rays seeping from the beds, but is a report highlighting the negative affects of sprays' chemicals lurking just around the corner? What then—will we have to constantly rub self-tanner creams all over our bodies? (Hmmm, could make for an interesting party theme, come to think of it.) Or will we all wake up and realize that being a little less bronze is actually ok? Think about it, with the lack of tanning, we might age without looking like an old leather briefcase.

Gays have always been risk takers. We will continue to do things that are counter to the mainstream (there's a reason we live an alternative lifestyle, right?!). But now that the news is out that tanning truly is bad for you, will you stop? Or does looking beautiful now trump living a long and healthy life?

(Image courtesy of Getty)

Sometimes you meet people who immediately engage you. You're taken by their energy, their good looks, their kindness. They talk to you—not at you. They ask you questions, are genuinely interested in finding out about you. You learn about them. They have a great job, have loads of friends, always are doing interesting things. But then you find out they're single, and have been for a long time.

This is when you hit the brakes. "If you're single, what chance do I have?" you might ask if you, too, are single. There are people out there who could qualify as being the "total package": great personality, good looks, successful. And when you find out they're single, you have to scratch your head. Sometimes they choose to be single, that their life is better when they're free to do whatever they want. But other times, they can't seem to make it click. Why is this?

I have a few friends—both gay and straight, male and female—who are in their mid- to late-30s and can't seem to make a relationship flourish. Some of them are totally ok with that, but others are depressed and really want to find a partner to share their life with. Why is it that there are people who are always in a relationship and they're possibly the most annoying people you encounter in your life? How is it that someone who grates on your nerves is able to get a boyfriend or girlfriend and the ones who are deemed a great catch continue to remain single?

So what do you think: Are these people afraid to commit or are they just better off being single?

(Images courtesy of Getty)

Over the last week, controversy arose out of comments by two out Hollywood directors during discussions at OutFest, the Los Angeles Gay and Lesbian film fest. Both directors, Todd Holland and Don Roos, basically told actors not to come out.

Holland's comments, told before a small audience of just 30 people, were then supposedly taken out of context. The blogosphere interpreted his comments to mean that young, gay male actors should stay in the closet. Perez Hilton wrote that Holland said hiding your sexuality was a necessary choice in Hollywood. Holland, in an article he wrote on July 20, said he didn't tell people not to come out, rather he couldn't advise someone to come out, especially if they reside in the upper echelon of Hollywood's elite.

Roos, on the other hand, didn't sugarcoat his opinion in that he feels the viewing public can't disconnect an actor's personal life or actions from a character they play. “I prefer more mystery," he said. "I don’t want to know about [his or her] political views, whether they’re gay or straight.” He referred to Mel Gibson's infamous drunken Malibu rant and Tom Cruise's couch-hopping incident as things he would consider before casting those actors. He went on to say that he has "a deep respect for homophobia [in America] and I don’t think it will ever go away. I don’t think actors coming out is going to help end homophobia. I think doctors, teachers and lawyers coming out will end homophobia.”

I personally feel that someone's private life should be kept private—if they want it to be (unless they're a politician passing anti-gay legislation and then living a hidden gay life. To that I say, out the bastards!). However, if someone in a position of power is gay and not out it not only hurts them, but also everyone else who is not out or afraid to come out. Roos' comments that doctors, teachers and lawyers coming out has a bigger impact then someone like Johnny Depp, Brad Pitt or Shia LaBeouf (I'm not implying these actors are gay; merely that they're big-name A-listers) aren't exactly correct. The bigger a person is and the more in the public eye they are, the more impactful their coming out would be. Who cares about a judge in Cleveland coming out other than maybe people in Cleveland, or said judge's friends and family? But if Tom Cruise came out (again, not saying he's gay; I wouldn't want to get sued for $100 million!), it would have a seismic effect around the world.

So by a gay director telling young, gay Hollywood, particulary guys, to stay closeted, does that inversely affect every other young, gay person afraid to come out? And do you think people wouldn't pay to see a leading-man type or action hero if they came out? Do you base your movie-or TV-viewing choices on what a celebrity does in their personal life? It seems that people forget that actors act; they create characters that are often larger than life, that allow us to escape from our own realities. So why would it matter what they do in their personal life or behind closed doors? Until everyone who is gay comes out and is comfortable living, as Holland said, an authentic life, who else is going to respect the gay community if they don't now?

Images courtesy Getty

Last week my partner and a friend both told me, almost simultaneously, that I had a few gray hairs coming in on the side of my head. Instead of realizing I often think that men with some salt-and-pepper are sexy and maybe I, too, could be sexy, my first thought was to panic and think I had to color my hair and maybe go blond ... again. Then I came to my senses and remembered getting older isn't a bad thing. It happens to everyone. But can everyone age gracefully? Is there such a thing as "gayging" gracefully?

As gay men, we worry about getting older more than our straight brethren. We go to the gym, eat healthier, use moisturizer and then fret we don't look good enough. We complain we're too fat or too frumpy and then go eat a big piece of chocolate cake and wash it down with a beer.

Of course this doesn't happen to everyone; but it's a pervasive attitude in the gay community. Especially among a sect of gays who primp until the cows come home. There are some gay men who put everything into their looks and attempt to use that to get ahead in life. Then one day, people don't pay as much attention.

What happens when our looks start to fade and the magic slips away, when those once-sexy "smile lines" turn to serious wrinkles and our once-flat stomachs start to move south and protrude? Is there still hope for love and acceptance beyond our outer layers? There comes a time in every gay man's life when he has to ask himself: Am I too old for Abercrombie? Generally speaking, yes. And if you don't think to ask, then you are. And yes, you look ridiculous.

There's nothing wrong with aging. As gay men, hell as men, we have an advantage. Men tend to age better—assuming you take care of yourself or you're blessed with good genes, or both. I know a guy from my dog park who I recently found out is close to 70. My jaw hit the floor and snapped back up and smacked me in the face. I thought he was maybe mid-50s. He's in great shape and I know he exercises. The only thing that shows his age is his griping. He's a bit of a curmudgeon, but you know ... he's earned it.

The rest of us? We have to take stock of what we have and make the most of it. If you were a beauty queen when you were younger, get over yourself. It's time to realize there's more to life than just looking pretty. Hopefully your life has something, anything, you can be proud of. Look around you. Realize life can be great at any age, no matter how you look.

Ah, who am I kidding? I'm going to moisturize and get my beauty sleep.