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Wrist Top Geekery: 8 High-Tech Watches For Nerds

Chris Weiss — Sat, 25 Feb 2012 18:50:16 +0000

I’ve seen a few short-sighted folks that think the wristwatch is on the verge of extinction because you can tell time with a cell phone. Unfortunately, what that shallow argument fails to address is that watches are more than just timepieces; they’re fashion accessories, statement pieces. Perhaps cell phones will replace a few $15 digital watches from Walmart, but they’ll never replace fancy, multi-thousand-dollar Swiss machines.

With that being said, some watches may need to add a little more bang for the buck to remain viable. After all, not every watch is a handcrafted, jewel-encrusted masterpiece from the Alps. So watchmakers have taken to incorporating all kinds of funky tech in order to make watches a little more attractive to consumers. Here are our favorite examples.

ThinkGeek Spy Camera Video Watch

If you’re looking for a geeky, high-tech watch for a gift or for yourself, ThinkGeek is a logical first stop. This particular model looks like an unassuming knock-off that you bought at a city street corner. Underneath that painfully fake-looking face, however, is a hidden video camera with 8 gigs of flash memory and a microphone for recording audio. Just like you can tell time with a cell phone, you can film footage with your phone’s camera, but the watch is just 1,000 x more subtle and unassuming. Plus, the minute you put “spy” on any gadget, it’s automatically cooler than the alternatives. This one will run you 80 bucks.

Kempler & Strauss W Phonewatch

Kempler & Strauss are known for making luxury phones and this particular model is designed to be worn like a watch (w is for wrist!). Watch phones are a funny animal; back in the day, long before they were a technological possibility, they were only worn by secret agents in movies and TV series and people loved them. There were few things cooler or more futury. Now that we actually have them, they’re kind of geeky and not especially compelling. But, if you want to pretend you’re a circa 1960s secret agent with all the most high-tech, government funded technology, the W Phonewatch is there to make it happen. It makes calls directly or via Bluetooth and functions with a small, touchscreen interface. It also includes a camera, microSD slot, MP3 player and video playback. You can find this phone-meets-watch for $200.

Devon Works Tread 1

Despite the misguided but prevailing notion that watches need to get more functional to compete with cell phones, sometimes a watch just needs to tell time. And sometimes it needs to tell time in a unique, interesting template that is protected behind bulletproof polycarbonate. Sure the bulletproof aspect is more of a novelty than a feature (how many watch faces have you had gunned out lately?), but just try to tell me it’s not cool. Meanwhile, just below that bulletproof face, a series of treads slide and roll to present the time of day. I’m not sure that it’s unique look is worth $15 grand, but it is certainly worth a long stare.

Glacier Computers W200 Wearable Computer

Okay, this one really isn’t a device wrapped into a watch; it’s more of a watch wrapped into a device wrapped around your wrist. We presume that it tells the time like any computer, at least. Featuring a Linux or Windows CE base, the W200 is a computer you can carry around on your wrist. It includes a touchscreen, Bluetooth and GPS. You can even add a wearable scanner. Note that it’s primarily designed as a work device, so don’t expect to be carrying it around for Facebook updates and networked gaming just yet.

Quiksilver The Ray Eco-Watch

We’re not quite at the point where we have watches that can suck down harmful emissions and spit out oxygen quite yet, but we can certainly find timepieces that offer better accuracy than the moving sun without much more environmental impact. This Ray eco-watch is made from sustainable ebony wood and recyclable materials. It doesn’t require a battery and runs on automatic movement. It’s also kind of a conversation piece. Retail is $800 on this one.

Texas Instruments eZ430-Chronos

Billed as “the world’s first customizable development environment within a sports watch,” the TI eZ430 can help you fill the void that the high-tech watch market has left. Don’t see a watch that does what you need? Program this watch for the wireless application that you need. It includes a variety of sensors like integrated pressure sensor, 3-axis accelerometer, andtemperature and battery voltage measurement. You’ll find the main watch for $49, along with a number of other development tools on Texas Instruments’ site.

Sony Ericsson LiveView

Making and receiving calls on a watch may be a little too geeky for the average guy, but how about just being able to check your phone without digging it out of your pocket. The recently introduced LiveView, which will launch later this year, does just that, connecting to your phone via Bluetooth and displaying information like missed calls, texts and Facebook updates. This is more like an auxiliary 1.3-inch OLED display for your SE Android 2.0+ smartphone. It even includes a music player and Android app support.

Tag Heuer Grand Carrera Pendulum Concept

This watch was introduced at Baselworld this past March and recently completed a world tour aboard the special-edition, one-of-a-kind Tag Heuer Tesla Roadster, an electric car that’s an impressive feat of technology in and of itself. The foucault field grey Tesla was introduced at the Geneva Motor Show in early March, and the Grand Carrera Pendulum followed at Baselworld on March 18, beginning its 15-city, worldwide tour, which just wrapped up last week at the Paris Motor Show. Besides looking like a millionaire’s timepiece, the Grand Carrera Pendulum replaces the traditional spiral hairspring with a series of magnets to regulate mechanical movement of the watch innards. It combines cutting-edge technological design and lavish styling quite well.

How Safe Is Your Bluetooth?

danseitz — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 17:00:19 +0000

We all know them. Many of us kind of hate them. The Bluetooth headset, though, is a staple of modern life. Whether it’s something you need or something you want, millions of people have one plugged in their ear.

And it may be paving the way for their smartphone to be hacked.

A Finnish company bought a bunch of Bluetooth headsets and hands-free kits and subjected them to a “fuzzing” attack, basically sending the phone and headset intentionally crappy data. In many cases, it crashed the phone. That’s bad enough, but what’s worse is that the crash opened up the phone to reveal various possible routes to access it secretly, or to just throw malware onto the phone.

Oh, and thanks to the way Bluetooth is designed, you can have all this happen without your phone being paired to a specific Bluetooth device.

All this is thanks to Bluetooth’s security implementations, which are, obviously, pretty terrible. The manufacturers are working on a solution: these are white hat hackers, after all, and they want us to be safe. But in the mean time, take steps to protect yourself:

The most basic step is the simplest: hang up your headset for a while, if you use one. Ask yourself if it’s really necessary, or just a status symbol.
If you don’t use a headset, go into your phone’s settings menu and disable Bluetooth. This is a good idea anyway: you’re just offering an open channel into your phone for anybody who wants it by leaving it on.
Contact the manufacturer of your phone and your headset and see what they’re doing to patch this security hole. The harder you lean, the better the results.

We can’t protect our phones completely: they’re designed to send and receive data. But we can at least anticipate threats.

Meet The Best Driverless Car Yet

danseitz — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:40:07 +0000

It’s been a dream of science fiction for decades: a car where you just climb in and the computer takes care of the rest. It’s more than just neat: most accidents are caused by human error, so take the human out of the equation, and cars suddenly become much, much safer.

But what does it take to make the safest self-driving car? About $500,000 worth of gear.

Researchers at Berlin’s Free University have been outfitting and testing a Volkswagen Passat to drive itself for four years now. Among the gear it’s toting:

A complex computer system and satellite navigation system, of course.
A high resolution camera on the front of the car, to spot traffic and traffic signals.
Laser range finders on the roof and in both the front and back bumpers.

Part of the cost is simple trial and error: self-driving cars obviously need a lot of testing and fine-tuning. But the results are fairly stunning. The car has been driving around Berlin on its own, with special permission, and it’s been performing swimmingly.

So, when can you climb in your car, tell it where you want to go, and catch a nap? Well…probably not for another 30 or 40 years, alas. The problems are twofold. First of all, the cost of the technology: it has to be made to be much cheaper while still being just as effective and safe. That’s a tricky proposition.

Then there’s the small matter of the law. For example: what happens when a car driving itself crashes? Is the owner of the car liable for the damages? Is the company that made the self-driving system liable? The car maker? Who?

Still, the research isn’t going to stop, and you will see benefits: many self-driving car designs make their way to consumers as safety systems. So, while you may not be able to leave the driving to JohnnyCab, you can at least drive comfortably knowing robots have your back.

Mind-Controlled Robot Arm? For 1/4th the Price?

Ten Gadgets For Christmas

Kara Jones — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 00:44:50 +0000

10. Lego Star Wars Sets

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The coming together of two massive brands give birth to one huge geek fest.

Price varies: $20 – $1999

9. Beats by Dr. Dre In-Ear Headphones by Monster

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Our friends over at GearCrave highlighted this item a little while ago, and with good reason. When one of the world’s premiere music producers (and an infamous perfectionist) endorses audio equipment, you should probably pay attention. The Beats by Dr. Dre In-Ear Headphones are sleek in design and come with all of the quality manufacturing we’ve come to expect from Monster. Audiophiles won’t be the only ones putting these down on their wish lists this year.

Price: $149.95

8. NuMark TTi USB Turntable (with LP-to-MP3 Converter)

Gadgets and technology are revolutionizing the music-listening experience. For the oldschool collectors who haven’t gone digital yet–now is the time. And this way you can future-proof your music collection without having to spend thousands of dollars repurchasing it again on CD or through iTunes. The fact that it doubles as a working record player while allowing you to rip songs from vinyl onto your iPod or a computer instantly makes this slick turntable from NuMark a worthwhile buy.

Price: $249.00 from Amazon & other online retailers

7. Ion Drum Rocker, $300

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Eeking out Logitech’s new premium Guitar Hero drum kit by $100, the Drum Rocker for Rock Band 2 is more extravagant, with full-circle cymbals, a metal bass pedal, quiet drum pads and an aluminum frame to hold everything together. Alesis, a manufacturer of professional electronic drums, helped with the design, which explains why you’re paying almost as much as an actual drum kit.

6. VPad+ for Video Conferencing

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Viable’s VPad+ is a video conferencing device for sending and receiving video over the Internet. What makes it extra useful for the hearing impaired are the flashing lights that alert a user to an incoming call and the availability of third-party interpreters, should the person on the other end not understand sign language. And at $100 for the basic unit, it’s as affordable as it is accessible.

Price: $100

5. X-Arcade Tankstick, $200

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Pac-Man just isn’t the same on the keyboard, and neither is Street Fighter IV. X-Arcade covers it all with the Tankstick, a massive board with two arcade-style joysticks and eight big buttons per player, plus a trackball that works as a mouse. Getting the classic games on your computer will require even more expense, unless you, ahem, get creative.

4. iLuv iNT170 WiFi Enabled Internet Radio Clock

Music is available from a plethora of sources these days, so why not consolidate your listening experience? The iLuv iNT170 lets you do just that, not only serving as a FM radio, but also connecting to your network either wirelessly or with an ethernet cable to stream music from the Internet. Wake up to your favorite online music sites like Pandora or Slacker, or hook up other audio devices through an auxiliary 3.5mm jack input. The elegantly functional design will be a good fit anywhere in the house.

Price: $199.99

3. ThinkFlood RedEye Transforms IPhone Into A Home Theater Remote

The ThinkFlood RedEye makes your iPhone or iPod Touch a remote control. The dock communicates with the iPhone via Wi Fi and then sends out infrared signals to control the TV and other home theater equipment. An app brings the recognizable controls of a standard remote onto your touchscreen and you can easily configure it to reflect your system, and add other units to control multiple rooms.

Price: $188

2. Optimus Maximus Gaming Keyboard, $1,600

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The price tag on the Optimus Maximus keyboard has little to do with its responsiveness or comfort. It’s all about the keys themselves, each of which has its own individual OLED screen. That means when playing Half-Life, letter keys become icons appropriate to the game. Technically, anything is possible thanks to configuration software. It may not help you pwn in Counter-Strike, but you’ll be the envy of the LAN party nonetheless.

1. VRX Mach 4 Racing Simulator, $24,995

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Perhaps we cheated a bit on this last entry, as it includes three 37-inch high-definition LCD televisions, but at an estimated price of $24,995 (VRX doesn’t list pricing on its Web site), how could we resist? The Mach 4 Racing Simulator is as good as it gets, with three Xbox 360s (one for each view), a Bose Acoustimass sound system with a Harmon Kardon receiver, a 7-inch rear view display, a vibration feedback system and a wind simulator. There’s even a “beverage containment system” for that big jug of milk you’ll be chugging at the end of the race. If you’ve done well enough in life to purchase this beast, you deserve it.

10 Weird Wii Accessories That You’d Be Lucky To Use Once

Chris Weiss — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 20:45:42 +0000

With Microsoft Kinect set to launch next week, and Sony Move already out there, the motion-based gaming wars are officially underway. After four years, Microsoft and Sony can finally compete on the same playing field as Nintendo. But Nintendo still has a couple of legs up in one aspect of motion-based gaming: strange, outlandish accessories designed to make gaming more true to form. Here are some of the oddest Wii peripherals and designs that we’ve seen over the years.

Rowing Machine

Wii has gained much attention for the healthier, exercise-oriented angle that it’s brought to gaming. So why not offer a virtual version of an exercise device originally designed to emulate an actual sport. That’s what this Wii rower from CTA Digital is designed to do. It’s good for such games as Wii Sports Resort and Wii Fit Plus.

Bowling Bowl

The idea of a bowling ball for Wii bowling games isn’t really that strange, it’s just that the ball attempts to be so realistic, what with its big, unwieldy size, that it seems like a rather significant hazard for the living room. Imagine accidentally hurling this thing into the television. Or, maybe following through a little too much and having it sail into the air and come down on your head. Couldn’t they at least have made this the size those plastic kiddie bowling balls designed for home bowling? At least it has a wrist strap. Also from CTA Digital.

Crossbow

Sorry CTA, but you just make some weird friggin’ gaming gear. You would think that you could just use a regular Wii gun for crossbow gaming function. It may not be perfectly anatomically correct, but you hold it the same, so why not just use that. I suppose because you’re a giant, medieval nerd and need to have your crossbow as authentic as possible. And CTA delivers with not only a crossbow shape, but also a device designed to look like a wooden weapon from the 1400s.

Surgical Kit

The idea of a surgical Swiss Army knife is a little frightening. Sure, it’s only for virtual surgery, but look at that collection of tweezers, scalpel, syringe and thermometer and tell me you don’t get at least a tad queasy. Unlike our others this comes from a new manufact…nope, it’s still CTA. As you could imagine by the lack of quality surgery titles out there, this is one of the most narrowly focused Wii tools on the list, designed for Trauma Center series.

Fishing Rod

If I could think of one thing that people should never do in the living room, it would be cast a fishing rod. Granted there’s no hook, line or sinker on this bad boy, but fishing in your living room still seems ill-advised. CTA finally gets a break; this one’s from Hyperkin. The Wii Fishing Pole, which works with such games as Rapala Tournament Fishing, Hooked and Fishing Master, even includes a reel for that extra realism. Which begs another question: who the hell wants to recreate the boring, frustrating sport of fishing in the virtual world anyway?

Maracas

Finally, a solution for those maraca games that you’re always playing. Possibly the most useless item on this list are the Wii Maracas. You might as well just duct-tape a rattle to your Wii-mote if this is what you’re looking for. They’re made by DreamGear and there’s really not a whole lot more to say.

Pushup Bar

That was a fun little trip, but we’re back to CTA. Actually CTA makes both a fishing rod and maracas, but we didn’t want them to be the only company on the list, so we covered different brands for those. One of CTA’s latest forays into Wiidom, the push-up bar is pretty much just what it sounds like. Here’s why it’s so useless: push-ups are pretty much sucky work, why do you want to do a video game version. The bar is designed to work in conjunction with the Wii Balance Board and works with games like Wii Fit and Jillian Fitness Ultimatum 2010.

Cooking Mama Kit

You know what hasn’t been fun since you were four? Cooking fake food. Cooking is one of those chores that’s hard to get away from, so why would anyone want to do a no-reward fake version with a big kitchen multi-tool. Frankly, we’re thinking they wouldn’t, which is why this piece is so useless. Designed by…yep, yep CTA Digital, the Cooking Mama Kit comes with kitchen classics like frying pan, spatula and fork. On the plus side, you have an extra set for when you don’t feel like washing dishes.

Combat Pack

If you’re enough of a geek to need a Wii crossbow, then eventually you’re going to need a Wii battle sword. And a shield. Designed for Legend of Zelda, Red Steel and others, this dorky combo from Hyperkind includes a sword, knife and a shield to prepare you for virtual dragon-slaying. If you ever saw George Michael Bluth’s Star Wars reenactment on Arrested Devlopment, you already know what a tool you’re going to look like swinging this sword around your entertainment center.

3-in-1 Sports Pack

There are a lot of off-the-wall sports packs for Wii, but we vote for this one from CTA because it’s got what we think is the oddest selection of gear. A virtual frisbee? Tiny canoe paddle? And full-size virtual bow? Check, check and checkity check check. And why is the bow life size but the canoe paddle looks like a burger flipper? Whether you want to shoot your screen with a Wii arrow or throw a frisbee at it, the 3-in-1 makes Wii Sports Resort your bitch.

A To Do List For James Dyson: 7 Garbage Technologies That Need Your Help

Chris Weiss — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 18:52:27 +0000

We all know what a technological ninja James Dyson is. He saw a problem with the average vacuum and sidekicked it into a much more effective home tornado that we may not be able to afford, but love anyway. Then, he turned to one of the greatest banes on modern man, the public bathroom hand dryer and–BAM!–flying dragon straight into some crazy-ass wind tunnel-type machine that just strips the water right off your mitts.

Don’t stop there Dys. There are dozens of other products that need your help, many of which we’re forced to use every day. These things suffice because there’s nothing better, but if you have a free minute, could ya go ahead and tinker around a little on these projects.

A Good One-Size-Fits-All Remote Control

Years ago, remote controls must have been the most convenient, revolutionary devices to hit mankind since the telegraph. No longer did you have to get up and fiddle with the channels. No longer did you have to watch the same horrible show for hours on end just because you were too lazy to get up. The world was in the palm of your hand.

Thanks to the fact that every device from the television to the stereo to the lamp in the corner is controlled by a remote, remotes are now just a big, anonymous stack of mess. Every device’s remote is ever-so-slightly different than the next. And universal remotes are typically too cheap, crappy and complicated to really unify all others. Plus, they just seem to get bigger and bigger with more and more useless buttons. Can’t one company rise from the ground and make a universal remote comfortable and intuitive enough that every manufacturer quits making their own? I think that company should be called Dyson Electronics.

A Dishwasher That Cleans Dishes

photo: zieak

The dishwasher’s been around for nearly 125 goddamn years, and yet, I still have to wash my dishes by hand before loading them in. Imagine the way that people’s faces lit up when they first heard of the dishwasher. Then imagine their ensuing looks of devastation when they found out that the only way it really cleaned dishes was if they basically did all the hard work ahead of time. It’s amazing that we dedicate so much physical space, water, energy and money to a device that really does half the work. And the easiest half at that. Throw some of Dyson’s cyclonic, airblade sorcery in there and maybe the dishes would actually come out clean on their own.

Shape-Shifting Wii Mote

Motion-based gaming ala Wii, Move and Kinect is fun, but what isn’t fun is the hoards of crazy Wii-ccessories that make realistic gaming possible for different types of games. It’s pretty easy to fill an entire closet (and drain a bank account) with Wii bowling balls, rowing machines, cooking utensils, skateboards, compound bows, and all the other million and one Wii accessories out there. Imagine if we had just one pliable device that could automatically change into the basic shape of every type of gaming device we’d ever need. No more junk accessories that you use on Christmas Day and toss into the closet of retirement. Get a new type of game and you already have the perfect complement. And, while we’re throwing out wishes– if they could make one that worked for Wii, Move and Kinect, that would be pretty great.

A Microwave That Doesn’t Turn All Food Into Steaming Rubber

photo: get directly down

The microwave has had a pretty nice run at the top of the kitchen technological pyramid. Commercialized back in the 50s, and popularized in homes throughout the 70s and 80s, it has long dazzled us with its instant, space-ray-style approach to food prep. But it’s really time for an updated take on the microwave, a microwave 2.0 of sorts. Because, let’s face it, the microwave’s novelty has kind of worn off, and unless you’re popping popcorn, preparing a microwave meal or maybe boiling soup, the microwave is going to turn your food into the least palatable hunk of mush that you’ve ever gagged down. Ever try microwaving a slice of pizza? That’s delicious– if you don’t mind spooning unrecognizable red, gooey slop off a piece of wet cardboard. And even when heating up coffee, the learning curve for going from lukewarm to burning-the-gums-off-your-teeth scorching hot is just way bigger than it should be. It’s 2010–isn’t time we had speed, convenience and edible food?

Wireless Speakers That Sound Like Speakers

Right now, the options are pretty clear: plaster your room with big speakers and wires running in every direction and enjoy great sound for music and movies, or take the wireless speaker route; make installation easier; eliminate those heinous wires but suffer from crappy sound that’s not much better than your laptop drivers. When you look at the things that you can now do just as well wirelessly as you can with wires, you’d think that we’d have a decent set of wireless woofers and tweeters. I know this is bound to happen one day, but it could use a jump kick to get things rolling a little faster.

Universal Cell Phone Charger

I'm not the only one that thinks this guy could make a mean phone charger. Yanko

Much like the remote control, the lack of a simple, unified template for all devices is what brings the mobile charger down. Why couldn’t a third-party company have stepped in decades ago and just made one charger for every phone/laptop/tablet/GPS/etc. Life on the road would be so much better today.

Imagine this: a simple charger that locks onto the port of any device with a suction mechanism equating to 100,000 times the force of gravity. Not only would it work with all mobile phones, but it could work with all devices that needed charging, period. Just let that thing suck on like a leach with metal hitting metal and charging is go. And who do you think is going to make something like that happen? It sure ain’t the GSM Association.

A Cable Industry That Doesn’t Blow

photo: hjl

Okay, this one might be a hefty task, but it’s definitely more of a legacy-maker than a pivoting rubber ball. In a day and age where we can get everything we want–Internet, maps, calls, porn, etc.–right when and where we want it, it’s really frustrating to have to pay a big group of cable suits to decide what we’re allowed to watch on television. DVRs have made things a lot better in terms of timing, but when it comes to content, we’re still stuck with big, bulky, expensive packages that are 80 percent channels we don’t want (Oxygen–W..T…F?).

If I want to watch movies on HBO or an out-of-market football game–both of which are readily available on my cable box–can’t I just get that without having to order a package of 375 channels or a sports package of every game, every Sunday, all season? It’s not even about the money, I’d gladly pay the money if I could get exactly what I want to watch without any garbage I don’t. The entire industry has been working inside the box–a dank, tattered box–for too long and they need an outside-the-box guy for complete demo and rebuilding.

Tech FAIL! 5 Technologies That Failed to Get (or Stay) Off The Ground

Chris Weiss — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 18:59:28 +0000

We see many new technologies and gadgets pass over our desks each day. Some will go on to support multi-billion-dollar industries and some will never be heard from again. And it’s not always easy telling the brilliant ones from the monstrous flops waiting to happen. Not until a few years have passed anyway.

At one point in time, each of these was either a conceptual technology with loads of promise, possibly even a budding market reality. In all cases, the technologies and products involved were doomed for the worst kind of failure. In fact, you may have forgotten some of these ever existed.

Smell-o-vision

Remember back when interactive TV was all the conversational rage? I remember smell-o-vision getting thrown around back around the turn of the century when TV and software companies were trying hard at making TV a more interactive communications piece. Little did I know at the time, smell-o-vision had been trying (and failing miserably) to gain hold in the market for more than four decades.

Despite the plodding advances of Web integration into TV, interactive elements like smell-o-vision remain deader than dead. And that’s probably because smell-o-vision was arguably the dumbest idea to come from the interactive TV school. Sure, smell may be one of the strongest senses for identification and long term memory. And, yes, being able to smell the program you’re watching would undoubtedly present an immersive quality well beyond what 3DTV and surround sound offer. But do you really need to smell the dank, blood-stained NYC streets on CSI New York, or the fat slowly melting away on The Biggest Loser? No, not at all. And that’s why smell-o-vision remains but an anecdotal footnote in tech history. TIME magazine even named it one of the 100 worst ideas of the 20th century.

PDAs

This one’s lame name should have been a clue that it wouldn’t last long. PDA sounds okay (albeit the same as the pejorative “public display of affection”) but Personal Digital Assistant? That just sounds like a technology that can only exist on the person of a dork with a pocket protector and bow tie. And, indeed, the PDA was never really anything more than a lame duck for business and tech dweebs.

Popularized right around the same time that cell phones were becoming an every-man device, even the least tech-savvy people were staring back and forth at the PDA and the cell phone and wondering why one device couldn’t do it all. You only have so much pocket, after all. And within a few short years, one device could do it all, and the PDA became a bit of a joke. To the PDA’s credit, unlike many items on this list, it did have a few short years as a cutting-edge piece of technology (I was pretty psyched when I got my HP iPaq for Christmas ’01). Still, though, the short-natured existence of this technological stopgap makes it a decided fail.

HD DVDs

Unlike other tech fails in history, the spirit and idea behind HD DVD was a big success. It’s just that Toshiba’s version of high-definition discs was dominated and destroyed by the Sony/Pioneer-backed Blu-ray format that we know and love today. The HD DVD had nearly two good–well not good, but existent–years between its introduction in 2006 and its official demise in 2008, but the idea of two formats that each require different equipment and discs was bound to produce one winner and one loser. They probably should have just collaborated on that one.

Personal Mobility Devices

This category is almost synonymous with its most famous member: the Segway. And that’s because the Segway was such an irredeemable, deep-throating flop, there just wasn’t room for any serious competitors. Though it’s been a little more persistent and extinction-resistant than the rest of the items here, the Segway has been an epicly disappointing device. Of course, disappointment is bound to happen when you declare your device as something capable of changing the face of the world as we know it.

Not only did the Segway fail to change the way cities are built, it pretty much failed to attract anything more than a cult following of extreme geeks. In fact, in 2007, Forbes reported that the Segway had sold just 30,000 units in six years–just 3/4 of the 40,000 the overly-exuberant company expected to sell in its first year. Turns out, most people aren’t really that interested in buying slow, awkward, $5,000 “transporters” that are only good for sidewalks and large shoulders. We have enough faster, more versatile and/or cheaper options with cars, motorcycles, scooters, bicycles and, yes, walking. In fact, just thinking about how revolutionary people thought this thing would be makes me a little angry.

Virtual Reality

This was really supposed to be cool?!

Now, I’ve never been much of a gamer. But as a kid growing up in the 80s and 90s, I remember just how much of a hype machine was behind virtual reality. It was the type of technology that I would lay wide awake for hours on end fantasizing about. I mean, you’d get to be in your own damn video game. Incredible! Movies and pop culture were all too quick to expound upon just how great virtual reality was going to be when it took over arcades and home consoles in those oh-so-distant years of the 2000s.

And then something happened. More accurately, nothing happened. Today, we have the technology to make virtual reality possible, but it remains but a tiny novelty. It never took the video game world by storm as promised, and failed to really produce anything convincing. I suppose, the motion-based gaming that has taken off so heartily in recent years is a form of virtual reality. But the fully immersive environments inside helmet- or goggle-mounted displays remain scarce. Maybe there’s still a future for a five-sense, brain-manipulated version of virtual reality worthy of the Matrix, but you just really don’t hear much about it the way we did in the 80s.

If you look at some other lists of failed technologies, you’ll find gadgets like video phones (VoIP, anyone?) and e-readers that actually had a second life well after those articles were published. So only the future will tell whether some of these technologies bounce back and leave us eating our words. But for now, they’re all flops and joke-butts.

7 Tech Gadget Concepts That We Want Now!

Chris Weiss — Sat, 21 Jan 2012 18:36:49 +0000

Concepts get some ambivalence around here at GadgetCrave. On the one hand, they provide a look into what the future could look like. I mean, who wasn’t psyched when the 7-year-old version of himself watched Back to the Future II and saw the notorious hoverboard and power laces. And who didn’t think “Wow, I can’t wait for 2015!” On the other hand, concepts can be frustrating–so awesome, so perfect yet with no discernible path to production anytime in the near future, perhaps ever.

I think the former feeling wins out in the end. As frustrating as it is not having the product in the now, a present in which we can’t conceptualize what the future might look like isn’t a place we want to be. So in honor of this great introspective discovery, we present some of the coolest gadget concepts we’ve seen over the past year or so. These are the type of ideas that make us love and hate concepts.

LG Razor-Thin OLED TV

More official than a lot of the concepts that come from independent designers, but not official enough for a release date, this LG OLED TV is 31-inch set that measures a paper-like 1/10 of an inch front to back. LG showed a working prototype of the TV at the IFA show last month, and really made us hungry for big, thin, beautiful OLED technology. I’m pretty sure my Hulk Hogan poster will be the thickest thing on my wall when I finally get to hang something like this in the living room (yes, Hulk will still be around then). (Brother.)

Sony Nextep Wristop Computer

Designed by Hiromi Kiriki, the Sony Nextep seems like it could be just that: the next logical step in portable computing. 2010 is all about the tablet. Yes, it’s small, thin and lightweight, but it still requires a large bag or backpack to carry it around. What if we could bend and shape our computers to fit into our luggage, rather than bending and shaping our luggage around our computers. Sounds like a next step, doesn’t it? I’m not sure I’d ever be down with wearing OLED bling on my wrist, but the idea of a flexible computer that goes anywhere is intriguing.

Smart Finger

A smidge. About an inch. *This* big. We’ve all done it. Fact is, it’s a lot easier denoting measurements in hand and finger gestures. Unfortunately, the accuracy just isn’t there, so if you need to get it right, you’re stuck digging around a desk drawer or tool shed for a ruler/tape measure. Not with Smart Fingers. Measure the way nature intended, only with accuracy. Designed by Choi Hyong-Suk, Jung Ji-hye and Yoo-Jin Park, Smart Fingers automatically calculate the distance in between and display it on an LED. Not only that, but they can store the information and calculate measurements like area and volume. So you’ve just replaced a tape measure, calculator, pencil and paper. Of course, you’ll have to be sure that what you’re measuring is within your wingspan. Still, for small jobs, this could be invaluable.

Scale Z

I don’t know how many times I go to the airport with my giant warehouse of a suitcase only to find that it weighs 55 lbs–5 lbs too heavy. So then it’s the airport-line shuffle of shame trying to get all my bags perfectly balanced to the point that I don’t have to pay any overweight fees. Sure, I could get one of those hanging luggage scales and weigh it at home before I leave, but I can’t hang myself on that scale. And I really have no use for a closet full of scales that I use once or twice a year.

Scale Z, a design from René Woo-Ram Lee, solves a problem that should have been solved years ago: it adds a little scale tweakability so that you can use it to weigh your doughy body, your suitcase and even your golden retriever Buck. Not to mention all kinds of other oddly shaped gear that would never quite balance on a digital people scale. Just try shoving a stubborn 110-lb. rottweiler onto a regular scale and tell me this doesn’t improve life just a bit. It’s got some other BMI, Web-ready nonsense too, but I’m just happy with the simple multifunctional brilliance.

Synaptics Fuse

This concept phone shown at CES this year gave the tech world a glimpse of what the next level of multi-touch technology will look like. In a word, it’s boneragious. The phone features all kinds of sensors, making navigating through your mobile life easier. Hold the phone in one hand; run your finger on the back panel to scroll; tilt it to the side to move through different windows and squeeze the sides to reset–find something for your other hand to do because it need not apply here. This one demanded more than a picture, so check the video demo below for a look at just how cool a device a list of companies like Synaptics, TI, Immersion, TheAlloy and The Astonishing Tribe can deliver.

Empower Chair

Charging gadgets is a pain in the ass. Especially when you’re on the road. The Empower Chair brought to life by Ryan Klinger makes charging a little less of a pain in the ass by transforming your fidgety, kinetic energy into usable electricity. Tap your foot; rock back and forth like Rain Man; vigorously spank your dangle in a dark corner of the park–whatever gets you moving, the Empower will transform into electricity. Plug your device(s) in via USB or standard outlet and put all that energy to use.

Flex Display Phone

They now have just about ever possible size of personal computer available: 4.3-inch smartphones, 5-inch tablets, 10-inch tablets, 9-inch netbooks, 13-inch notebooks, 27-inch PCs, etc. And yet there is still no one-size-fits-all computer for most people. A smartphone is convenient for taking with you everywhere, but some things just require a bigger screen. Your tablet is great for multimedia and light work, but it’s just not small enough to take everywhere like a smartphone.

With a little bit of unspecified voodoo, the Flex Display Phone is all those devices in one. Its display stretches and contorts from tablet-size to smartphone size. Designer Hank Chen envisioned the phone sliding from somewhere around 3 inches to 5 inches, but I’d love to see a device that goes from a smartphone display to a full-size 7- or 9-inch tablet.

The 7 Dodgy Sales Guys That Ruin Electronics Stores For Everyone

Chris Weiss — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 18:17:21 +0000

In general, electronics salesmen hold a respectable place in the salesmen hierarchy. These wired warriors serve on the front line between the garbled, tech-laden nonsense that the industry and pundits spew and the less savvy, tech-ignorant minds of the of the American masses. Without them, many folks would be at a loss for basics like the difference between 3G and 4G. As salesmen, they are decidedly steps above the slicked-back used car and mattress salesman that bring the profession down for everyone.

Generally speaking, of course. That doesn’t mean there aren’t bad apples. And by bad apples we mean rotten, maggot-infested shriveled skin-hanging-to-cores that resemble nothing of the sweet, luscious fruit we know and love as apple. We’re using guys to cut down on pronouns, but don’t worry gals, you can suck this bad just as well as the gents.

Stoned-Out Know-Nothing

Perhaps this guy thought that he was signing up to get high and try and solve the conundrum of how that many televisions could be playing the exact same movie at once. Because that’s what he appears to be doing every time you see him. If there was a job description that ran something like: “lazy, uninspired 20-something needed to wake-and-bake, eat Fritos and watch Napoleon Dynamite in his boxers all day,” he’d have been gainfully employed years ago. As it is, getting high in the stock room and wandering around trying to dodge every customer, manager and supervisor in the store will have to do. Ask him a question, and you’ll get the emptiest, unhumanest stare that you’ve ever seen etched across someone’s face, followed by “I’ll have to check with my manager.” And by “check with my manager” he means “go smoke another j in the back and forget I ever talked to you.”

How to Deal: The minute that he goes to check with his manager–and he will–be on the lookout for another home-team-colored shirt to find a real answer.

The Stalker

Photo: Rob Boudon

Not only does this guy offer to help you way more than you’ll ever need in the laptop case aisle, he spends a full eight minutes detailing the exact sequence by which he can help you. You say that you’re just looking in your most dismissive tone, and he proceeds with something like: “Okay. You keep looking. Just let me know if you have any questions. I’ll be right over here at the intersection of aisle eight and five. That’s my section; I might wander so far as aisle three, but I’ll still be around the general vicinity. Nope…you know what, scratch that, I won’t go to aisle three. I’ll keep my eye on you, and I’ll be back if you need me. Also, if you need anything else that’s different from the nothing at all that you currently need, you let me know. But for now, you keep looking. Just wantchu to know I’m here if you need anything.”

How to Deal: Wait for him to point to where he’ll be waiting and slink off into the opposite direction. He’ll have talked for another three minutes by the time he realizes he’s by himself.

Overbearing Douche

More often lurking in a snooty, high-end AV boutique, this guy is basically looking down his nose at you from the minute that the bell rings on the door. Rather than treating you like a customer, he’s treating you like some sort of filthy miscreant that’s going to burn the store down. Despite the fact that equipment is clearly set up so that customers can test it out themselves, this jack ass is so scared that you’re going to misfire and destroy his precious inventory, that he basically leaps in and takes over for you. Not in a “Here, let me help” sort of way, but more in a “Get your disgusting, pud-jacking hands off my dials and let someone that knows what he’s doing handle it for you.” You might as well be a rambunctious two-year-old in a fancy crystal shop.

When it comes to making a sale, he’s completely indifferent and he’s really just counting down the nanoseconds until you leave. It’s kind of clear that he has an unnatural lust of some sort for the very goods he’s supposed to be selling.

How to Deal: Have some fun. Wait until he gets busy with another customer or the phone, then turn on every piece of equipment in the store to max and start slapping your head and yelling for the demons to stop screaming at you. Run out of the store like you’re on fire and never return.

Bottom-Line Guy

This guy doesn't take 'no' for an answer either.

photo: jchatoff

This guy starts off okay–a little friendly small talk, a timely ‘can I help you find something’, and all is on the up and up. He sets you up with a TV, stereo, speakers, GPS or whatever you’re looking for, lets you play for a minute and asks if you have any questions. Then, exactly 1 minute and 45 seconds later, like a 29-year-old virgin getting laid for the first time, he pulls the trigger way too early: “So, you interested? Should I box this up?” As if his entire job was to shove a product in your face, wait two minutes and then make a big, spanking commission. It doesn’t matter that the product costs $4,000 and you didn’t compare another single model. And it’s not just an innocent, hopeful inquiry of a young boy making his first sale, it’s that snide, jaded remark that basically reads like: “Are you planning on buying this? Because if not, I have better things to do than stand here and talk to you. I sold Stephen Baldwin–yeah, that Stephen Baldwin– a full home theater system earlier today, so I don’t need your lousy commission anyway. I’m really just being nice.”

How to Deal: Give him exactly what he wants. “Absolutely, lets get this thing done!!” Then proceed to have him get a whole bunch of peripherals together: AV cables, protective cases, stands–whatever could possibly go with the product you’re buying. Let him go in back, bring everything up to the register, ring it up so he gets an idea of just how much cash he’ll be making and, if it makes any sense, have him gift-wrap something. Then play it like: “Oh crap, left my credit card out in the car. Be back in a sec.” Make sure that he hears your engine revving and tires squealing as you race out of the parking lot. For bonus shits and giggles, drive around the block and come back to watch him restocking the shelves.

One-Product Wonder

photo: hollaa01

You get the idea that this guy applied for a Best Buy gig just because he happened to love one product in the store. And yet the rigorous screening process employed by your local big box didn’t weed him out. Be it the iPad, 3DTV, HTC EVO–it could be any new, hip product, but it’s all that this dude really wants to talk about. You could be shopping for an air duct assembly for a new dryer and yet somehow this one-note ballad will still manage to try to sell you his puppy. And god help you if you happen to be looking for something even close to what he’s selling; you’re in for a half an hour fanboy tutorial.

How to Deal: Figure out what the polar opposite product is– the Android to his iOS, if you will–and tell him you already have one at home. He’ll be so incensed by the lost cause in front of him that he’ll turn his attention elsewhere.

The Insurance Salesman

The craftiest sales guy of the bunch, this dude seems completely normal throughout 95 percent of the sale. He’s friendly, helpful and informative without being overbearing, condescending or overly technical. He’s everything every other guy on this list will never be. But, that’s because he’s not really trying to sell you a product. He’s realized that you’re ready to pull the trigger and the product pretty much sells itself. His real job is to sell you that stupid extended warranty. Now, the reason that he wants to sell this to you is because his store makes boatloads of free, me-too cash from warranties that no one ever makes good on. In other words, unless you have a really good reason, you don’t really want it.

Okay, no big deal, he’ll understand, right? Wrong. He’s now a car salesman, and you’re a well-dressed, naive blond staring at his most expensive sports coupe. He’ selling you that proverbial car decked out with every option and nonsensical fee if it means detailing each outlandish, unlikely scenario that could ever happen to the device in question. And it’s either pay for the policy–at least the middle tier one–or spend 20 minutes hearing the full spiel, reading the fine print and basically justifying beyond a reasonable doubt why you don’t need it.

How to Deal: Storytime. You can use your own creative proclivities for this one, but an example would go something like: I haven’t bought extended warranties since the shop in question failed to cover damage to my Uncle Jimmy’s laptop. You see, Uncle Jimmy was doing some work on the can when he suddenly dropped his laptop on his balls and cracked open a particularly nasty sore–it was located kind of mid-balls near the shaft. The oozing pus, blood and some clear, syrupy liquid that hasn’t been identified to this day got all up in the laptop battery and it hasn’t charged properly since. But the warranty policy called it user error and refused to cover it. Money in the toilet.

Hopefully you’re buying a camera, because the look of sheer disgust is something you’ll want to save and remember.

Cat-Calling Cell Phone Kiosk Guy

This guy is the worst of the worst. If any salesman could inspire violence, it’s this guy. It doesn’t matter that you’re avoiding eye contact at all costs. It doesn’t matter that you’re actively talking on a cell phone. It doesn’t even matter if this guy catches you on your way out of Radio Shack with a big, clear bag that has a cell phone box and a visible five-year contract with your name on it. He’s going to yell at you as if you’re a drunken freshman with a nipple hanging out and he’s frat meat on a balcony. He’s going to tell you all about whatever free giveaway phone or new promotion is on the menu that day in his loudest outside voice. After all, he didn’t go to high school for five years, skip college to start making real money at the mall and get himself a piece of the sweet electronics lemonade stand out in front of Lane Bryant and Bath and Body Works for nothing. He’s going to sell you that phone or go hoarse trying.

How to Deal: Since this individual demonstrates pervasiveness (read: desperateness) beyond all others, the best way out is with a decoy. Push your nearest buddy, girlfriend or stranger his way and quickly drop a line about how they’ve had it with [any cell provider the guy is not associated with]. In one seamless move, dart off into the anonymous masses of the nearest food court or liquidation sale.

The Way of the Dinosaurs…7 Everyday Technologies On A Short Trip to Extinction

Chris Weiss — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 18:42:34 +0000

Technology is advancing more and more rapidly. Products that we once thought were timeless icons are becoming useless, and products introduced just a few years ago are being replaced by smaller, more efficient devices that do the same exact thing much better. Here are our predictions for technologies that will join such classics as the VCR and CRT television in the annals of electronics history within the next decade or so.

Landlocked Telephones

Remember how cool you thought you were when you got your first cordless phone? The world was your oyster–so long as you didn’t need to leave the house. What a difference a decade or two can make.

These days, you could probably argue that the telephone is already extinct, but I consider it more of an endangered species. If you think about friends and siblings who have an actual hard line, you probably come up empty, but reframe the query in terms of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and other elders and you could probably come up with a short list of names. We expect that list to get shorter and shorter as people realize just how redundant a land line really is in the age of mobile phones, texting, email and social networking. Don’t expect to see many of these weathered warriors outside of businesses by 2020.

Fax Machines

Like its voice-based counterpart, the fax machine is a big, ugly hunk of hardware whose utility is steadily waning. Yes, when it comes to legal documents, you may still want to see the hard print. But you can always do that in person. And when it comes to just about anything less substantial than a 30-year mortgage, you better believe you’d rather read, sign at the X and resend via email. One of the most infuriating technologies ever, fax machines are large, bulky, wasteful and in need of constant maintenance and/or repair– everything our technological future is not. As digital signatures become more widely accepted, expect the average homeowner and businessperson to use any one of the aforementioned reasons to go all Office Space on the ancient relic known as fax machine.

Cell Phones

No, we don’t believe that VoIP over tablet computers will replace cell phone communication. Nor do we believe that some mystical, new interpersonal communication system is on the horizon. What we’re thinking is that with the burgeoning growth of smartphones, traditional cell phones–the ones you spent 100 percent of the time talking on–will slowly be phased out. As smartphones become more popular and less expensive to produce, there’s really no reason that all phones won’t look like the smartphones of today. In the future, we suspect that your options will be phones that offer speed and function that we can’t yet dream of and entry-level contract giveaways that look something like the iPhone 4s or HTC EVOs of today. How is a one-trick pony going to survive in that world?

Netbooks

Giant hands--great for bitch slaps, terrible for netbooks.

There has got to be a point where many slightly differentiated versions of the same damn device is too many. And we feel that the time is right about now. With the overwhelming success of the iPad, and all of the tablets that are getting ready to hit the market later this year, it’s clear that consumers and manufacturers are strongly behind the tablet. It’s thinner, prettier and more engaging than a netbook, and if you happen to need a keyboard, you can dock up to a full-size model at will. If you want to do real work, you have a notebook for that. What exactly did you ever need a netbook for again? Just wait until we get a variety of subsidized tablets, and you’ll forget the term netbook even existed.

Blu-ray Discs

It happened to VHS. DVDs are on the chopping block about now. So if you think Blu-rays are somehow immune to extinction, prepare to be disappointed. Sure, Blu-rays offer the best picture and sound right now, but streaming services are quickly catching up. As average bandwidth expands, and streaming libraries grow, more people will certainly ditch discs in favor of streaming.

Earlier this year, CNET broke a story about Netflix upgrading to 1080p sometime in 2010. Unfortunately, official word from Netflix negated that report, but while 1080p might not be coming this year, the information points to it happening sometime soon. With Netflix and other streaming services appearing in more and more TVs, you don’t even need to dedicate dollars or space to an extra home theater device, let alone an unwieldy collection of movies that you watch once or twice in your life. So why would you?

3DTVs

3DTV is perhaps our riskiest inclusion on the list. While it’s way too early to tell how successful it’s been so far or how much potential it has, we just don’t see that many people paying a premium on television just so they can watch bad movies not get any better with an extra dimension. Oh yeah, and having to pay more for a pair of geeky goggles to enjoy that ‘stunning’ 3D picture is a slap in the face too. I mean, the idea of 3D is hardly new and it’s never been anything but a niche technology. Why is that suddenly going to change? Only time will tell, but we don’t expect to see many 3D sets on the market by 2020, and at the very least, the glasses will be ancient history by then.

Set-Top Boxes

Let’s face it: no one ever really liked set-top boxes. There were too many different kinds that did too little and took up extra space that you just didn’t have. The best compliment that you could ever give a set-top box is that it was the best way to access certain content at a given time in history. But, everyone’s going to need to buy a new television at some point, and more and more, those new televisions integrate things like Netflix, YouTube and full-on Web browsing right into them. So, it’s already not too difficult to eliminate the set-top box that you never really liked that much anyway, and it’s only going to get easier. While their small form factor was never quite small enough in the home entertainment center, it promises to take up little room at the local landfill.

We know that Steve Jobs thinks that PCs are dying (or at least he thinks he’ll sell more iPads that way). What device or technology do you think won’t make it past the next 10 years? What do you hope to see replaced, changed or improved?

Artwork, Spacecraft or Torture Devices: 8 Of The Weirdest-Looking Speakers On The Planet

Chris Weiss — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 18:25:20 +0000

If you’ve ever been around an audiophile for more than five minutes, you know that they tend to be an intense, obsessive lot. Even more obsessive than the guy that spends tens of thousands of dollars on surround speakers, acoustic tile and amplifiers is the guy that tinkers his way to a speaker company specializing in a pair or two of half-million-dollar speakers. Looks aren’t of any essence at all, and fluid, harmonious sound is the only objective. In all cases, the desire for ultimate audio pushed these manufacturers to break out of the typical tall, rectangular wood box to develop something that looks straight out of a science fiction or horror movie.

KEF Muon

KEF’s answer to the exotic concept that every auto manufacturer has released at one point, the Muons were designed to be the essence of functional form. For the project, KEF tapped designer Ross Lovegrove and married an organic, naturally-flowing, artsy look with superior acoustics. The wavy cabinets are made from super-formed aluminum, giving them an ultra-modern look. Audio-wise the Muons feature four 10-inch bass drivers in front, two in the rear, one 10-inch mid-low driver and a 6.5-inch version of KEF’s Uni-Q driver (mid + center-mounted tweeter). These are a 100-model limited edition set of speakers, each selling for $140,000.

Wilson Audio Alexandria 2

Look up and down Utah-based Wilson’s line of high-end speakers and you’ll find a short geometry lesson– all kinds of shapes that don’t usually emit sound stacked and tucked for audio rich enough to make owner Dave Wilson stop and listen. The Alexandria 2 looks to us like some form of Transformer caught between robot and college dorm fridge. That odd form is designed to hold what Wilson believes to be the optimal configuration for eargasm-quality sound. The six-foot speakers include 13- and 15-inch woofers, two 7-inch mids, a one-inch inverted dome tweeter and a one-inch rear-firing super-tweeter. The three-headed monster is designed to adjust for the perfect driver dispersion in any room. These roll out of the store for no less than $158,000/pair.

Hansen Grand Master

Ontario-based Hansen speakers get weirder and weirder the farther upmarket you travel. As you could probably guess from both the looks and the name, this milk-bottle-looking m-fer is Hansen’s top of line. The $240,000 Grand Master features a total of 10 hand-assembled drivers set-up in a three-way configuration: four woofers, four mids and two high-precision tweeters. The odd shape was crafted to trade the traditional panel enclosure for an organic design that eliminates any and all diffraction distortion. They even came up with their own material to make it out of: a little something called Hansen Composite Matrix.

Moon Audio Titan

Without a reference object in the background, you could mistake the Titan for some sort of flash drive or computer internal. But at weight of 2,500 lbs./ pair they couldn’t be at a farther end of the electronics spectrum. In what’s undoubtedly one of the most exclusive pairs of speakers you’ll ever find, Minnesota-based Moon offered just three pairs of these “ultra-limited edition functional acoustic art works.” And each one doubled in price, with serial #003 costing $500,000, serial #2 costing a cool mil and the ever-desirable #001 costing a full two million. In an added exclusive touch, each speaker was named after its buyer. The speakers bear so much bulk because they are designed to eliminate every iota of vibration. They also include auto-tuning so that they can tune themselves for the placement room–because when you drop a million dollars on speakers, you’d better not have to spend much time fine-tuning them.

SWSpeakers Magic Flute

This funky jet turbine of a speaker is brought to us from Scandinavia, Sweden to be exact. Like so many others on this list, SW admits that its goal in making a speaker wasn’t to create something visually striking, it was to “create a new and unique shape for the loudspeaker cabinet shape, which did not disturb or distort the pure sound coming from the drive units.” Since the infinite sphere that SW had in mind was a practical impossibility, it did what it believed to be the next best thing: turbines. The turbines eliminate the corners and enclosure noise that drives down the sound of lesser speakers, providing SW’s own take on sonic perfection. A taste of that perfection will run a flat $100K.

Cabasse Artis Baltic Evolution

What exactly would you expect a French speaker to look like? Sexy and a bit meek sounds about right. Despite the Baltic Evolutions relatively weak looks when compared with the rest of our field, Cabasse promises that the 3-way coaxial driver mounted in a sphere delivers a realistic, 3D soundstage and “homogenous diffusion.” It comes in a variety of styles including a shelf model and a wall-mounted version, but we definitely prefer the ball-on-fin floorstanding model. Much more down to Earth than anything else here, you can find these three-way speakers for $8,000 a piece.

MBL 101 XTREME

How do you get a speaker even crazier and heavier than the ones we’ve looked at? Pair a funky-looking, omnidirectional, hanging driver array with a big stack of woofers–on each side of your stereo. That’s 3,600 lbs. of bass-spewing, high-finessing sound science. The open-framed speaker provides three pulsating spheres worth of mids, lows and highs that circumnavigate your ears and hit your drums from every possible angle. That big hunk of art uses all types of materials–carbon fiber, wood, aluminum, steel and acrylic to give it that unmistakable demeanor. Since such an odd audio mobile can hardly be expected to shake the floors with powerful bass, MBL uses a whole separate stack of four 12-inch woofers on each side of the system. The combination of four front pieces weighs nearly two tons and costs a lofty $180,000. Oh, and according to MBL, it takes 90 days to fabricate and calibrate each set, so order early.

Greensound Serac Series

There are a variety of glass speakers on the market, and most of them provide varying degrees of beautiful, functioning art. The Serac series from Irvine, California-based Greensound was lighting up the blogosphere just a month ago and is the most recent glass design that we’ve seen. Bearing little to no resemblance to a speaker, all of the electronic innards are housed in the base of the speaker, leaving the body as a thin, mesmerizing slice of glass. The sound works its way through the glass emitting in an omni-directional pattern that supposedly surrounds the listener in a rich field. Lows emit toward the base, while highs travel higher up and emit from the top. Greensound hasn’t dropped any prices just yet, but we’ve got one guess: way above our speaker budget. As far as aesthetics, you’ll be hard-pressed to find a better looking speaker.

World’s 7 Pimpest iPads and iPad Add-Ons

Chris Weiss — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 18:30:45 +0000

Most people are pretty happy just having an iPad, but if you have hoards of money to throw at needless accessories, the standard $500 ipad is just that: standard. So for those with enough money to kindle a bonfire and absolutely no taste whatsoever, companies have been pimping out America’s favorite tablet so that you can spend thousands, tens of thousands and even hundreds of thousands dressing it up. Here are some accessories for the most balla of iPad owners.

Mohan’s iPad Suit

The iPad may not be the quintessential enterprise device, but that doesn’t mean you can’t carry it into power meetings under your pinstripes. Not too long after the iPad hit the market, Mohan’s Custom Tailors in NYC began offering a suit with built in iPad pocket. If you think wrinkles ruin your look, try walking around with a giant rectangle poking out of your jacket. This one actually isn’t that overpriced at $600.

Tod’s Alligator Case

Set to go on sale in November, this case from Italian company Tod’s is a leather case finished up in genuine alligator skin. Just what the world always needed. The price? A cool $4,900. If you can’t quite puke out five grand on an iPad case, you could go for the tan buffed calfskin model on top, which will only double the overall cost of your iPad ($495).

Elite Home Theater Seating iPad Chair

A leather throne fit for a modern day emperor, the Elite Chair was announced last month. Elite envisions the iPad as the ultimate home theater accessory, controlling things like movies, volume, lighting and even the temperature of the room. Meanwhile, the huge, cush leather seat treats your ass just right and adjusts around your head and body. It has a recliner and lumbar support. You can skimp and go for the basic $2,500 version, but since you’re tossing money away with pure abandon, you may as well upgrade to the $6,000 premium model with adjustable headrest, Crowson Tactile Motion Transducers for shaking your seat with low-frequency vibrations, high-power amplifier and motorized recline feature.

Mervis Diamonds Diamond iPad

Back when this diamond-encrusted iPad was announced in March, it was a pretty hot piece. Since then, a few other blinged-up iPads have made it look a little last month and lackluster. But at $20,000, it’s still a pretty pimped out tablet. In Mervis’ rendition, the iPad gets 11.43 carats worth of diamonds around its bezel.

iCon iPad Bed

So what happens when you take your suit jacket off and retire from the home theater room to bed? Ordinarily, you’d have to leave your iPad behind, but not if you set yourself up with an iCon. The iCon by Hollandia International includes not one but two iPad docks as well as an integrated sound system with four speakers and a 250-watt amp. Just what you need for a good night of shut-eye. Actually, you’ll probably get a lot of use out of those features because everything about that bed, save perhaps for the reclining function, looks uncomfortable as hell. $20,000 and it’s all yours.

Brabus Mercedes S-Class Pimped With Passenger iPads

Over on MotorCrave we’ve covered a few of the tasteless crimes that Brabus has committed on Mercedes cars. So it’s only a slight surprise that they made this list. Announced just about a month ago, the iBusiness is a tuned Mercedes S Class sedan with two iPads in the back, which control things like music, navigation and telephone. At the heart of the in-car multimedia system is a Mac Mini tucked inside its own electronically controlled drawer in back. Think the kids have enough entertainment back there? Unfortunately, Brabus didn’t release pricing when it announced the iBusiness but given that the S Class starts around $90K and Brabus made a variety of other interior, exterior and engine mods, we’d expect this one to land right around this slot on our list.

Stuart Hughes Solid Platinum Supreme Edition

Want to pretty much destroy the entire point of a tablet computer? Consider wrapping it in 6 lbs. worth of platinum and rendering it a big, heavy brick. That will eliminate its light, portable profile. Not content with just a solid platinum frame, Stuart also decked this baby out with with 173 ‘flawless’ diamonds. And 5 absolute knobs are going to pay £299,995 ($469K) for one. This one replaced Stuart’s own Gold Edition as the most expensive iPad in the world back in May, and near as we can tell, no one’s topped it yet. It probably won’t be long until someone does, though.

GadgetCrave.com

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