But we managed to make a circumambulation of the garden spot that is our neighborhood.

Walked by SDXB’s old house. The city GAVE it to a woman who was dispossessed of her own home by construction of an airport runway. As you might imagine, she seems kinda uncomfortable here in Upper Middle America: basically she hides inside her house. Ring the doorbell, and she won’t come out.

She will, however, purloin any packages that Amazon leaves there mistakenly. The street number is the same as mine, AND the road name is almost identical: Lane instead of Way. Even when I enter an extra line in my address for Amazon, reading “WAY, NOT LANE!” they still deliver things to her place.

Guess what I should do is have Amazon purchases delivered to my son’s house. But…what would be the point of that?  If I have to drive to his place to buy something, I might as well just walk across Main Drag West to buy it.

{sigh} Sure do wish SDXB were still living here in the ’Hood. He moved to Sun City, where he’s living (I think…some question about that) happily ever after. He quickly picked up a new girlfriend out there…meaning she’s the one who has to take care of him in what apparently is his final illness.

I’ve lived in Sun City. Hated it! Wouldn’t go back there on a bet. Not if you paid me!

• The jet engine racket from nearby Luke Air Force Base defies belief.
• So does the level of Hate among the locals.
• At the time I was there, they didn’t have a decent grocery store. If frozen crap and junk food appealed, you were fine. But if you wanted fresh veggies and meat: fuggedaboudit.
• It’s a long, LONG way from where my son lives. I’d hardly ever see him if I moved out there.
• The houses are cheaply built. You, too, can air-condition the Great Outdoors!

The ‘Hood is centrally located, on the high end of the upscale North Central section of lovely uptown Phoenix, bordered on two sides by dire slums.

Hmmmm…looks like our software is hanging. So: outta here! 

Out the door with the corgi, at dawn’s early light. Everyone else has the same idea: we have to circumvent the park to evade the potential dog fights.

Cleaning lady on her way this morning. That….

wait wait wait! It’s not the cleaning lady! WonderAccountant (who lives across the street, BTW) reports that her understanding is the woman who is supposed to show up is more on the order of a babysitter…hired by Dear Son.

Ohhhhh gooooodie…  

Just what I need: someone new to poke her nose into my business…

Mwa ha ha! Today, what we’ll have her poke her nose into is a grueling trip to Sprouts!  Poor babe….

Seriously: I need a few grocery items, but not enough to justify trudging block after block through 100-degree heat. If any such person does show up, what we’ll do right off the bat is put her up to schlepping around.

Hmmmmm……  Along that line, d’you suppose Sprouts delivers? If it does…how does one engineer that?

Hmmmmm….. They do deliver, but….the process to order up stuff is brain-banging. And it’s not clear that they deliver in this area.

Anyway, I can order up the dawg food from Amazon. Fresh groceries: apparently not so much.

Well. Let’s see if the proposed woman shows up here. If she does, first thing we do to make her crazy is ask her to schlep us over to the Sprouts. From there: straight downhill, the poor child!

It is horrifically hot out there in the backyard. The meat and corn oughta cook by themselves: just set ém out on the back table, eh? But they’re hardly browning…surely not charring, that’s for sure!

Hm. The grill is on. There’s plenty of propane. But it’s barely running.

Guess I’ll have to put this stuff on the stove to cook. Then call the BBQ guy to come fix…whatever’s wrong with it.

Goodie! Just what I wanted to do on a 100-degree day!

Will this post go online?

Testing!

Ruby and I: just back from circumambulating the park. For a change, not many fellow morons were out there, so most of the time we had the place to ourself.

Now…would you WANT it to yourself?

Questionable!

Seriously: it’s hotter than a by-gawd out there: has been since we turned out of the sack around 7:00 a.m. Just short of 10:00 a.m. now…waaayyyy too long to lurk in the Arizona heat.

Ohhh well! Heat and humidity notwithstanding, it is SUCH a beautiful neighborhood. That park: it defies belief. Green green, green green grass. Lovely shade trees. Young parents rolling their infants around in strollers. Dogs frolicking about, chasing after balls and Frisbees. Wild birds visiting. Kids playing.

And right there: THAT is why I do not…do not…DO NOT want to be hauled off to the old-folks’ prison that is the Beatitudes. It’s such a joy to stroll over and watch the locals take in the pleasure of the park. How, in the name of God, am I going to avoid being dragged away from here?

Well, my house is a bit of a joy, too. If I weren’t too lazy to stumble into the backyard, I could plunge into the pool right now. Mounds of frilly cat’s-claw vines climb the cinderblock walls, blocking passers-by from peering in…and making it possible and safe for me to skinny-dip in my backyard. The neighbor’s wonderful kids play in their backyard, laughing and hollering and carrying on.

If my act were even faintly together this morning, I’d walk over to the Sprouts or down to the Albertson’s, there to pick up a few groceries.

But in the absence of a together act…I think not. Nothing on that list is an emergency. Ruby and I will continue loafing this morning — practice makes perfect, after all. Tomorrow I’ll skip the doggy-frolics and raid the nearest grocery store…BEFORE the heat comes up!

Or…hmmm… Maybe not. We now have an Uber driver living right across the street. In theory, I could put him up to driving me to a store. Or not: that sounds like work.

Let us think about that…for the next few hours….

Hah! They must be CRAZY! The thermometer on the back porch reads HOT HOT HOT!

Hmmm…actually, it says 93 degrees. Yep. Right there in the shade. Barely on the high side of warm….

Must be a little humid today. Hmmmm…12 percent. That’s not bad.

Whatever: if feels hotter than hot out there.

Just got back from a stroll around the park. Thought I was gunna damn near melt before the Funny Farm’s front façade loomed into view. Good thing I didn’t take the little dawg with me. That asphalt pavement would have singed her feet right off.

Actually: I would have had to pick her up and carry across each road. Neither option much fun!

Guess I’d rather be in San Francisco….

Yeah. Today, so we’re told, we’d be looking at a high of 62 and a low of 52 there. Partly cloudy tonight. Tomorrow: Sunny, with a high of 66 and a low of 53. Looks like they expect that to be pretty consistent all week. With rain, off & on.

Rain? Rain??? Whazzaat?

Loafing through the past many hours, I haven’t done the main projected task of the day:  Wanted to run by the young lawyer’s office up by the El Rancho supermarket. The plan is to review the croak-over plans to be sure M’hijito gets Everything….and then some.

Seriously: I want him to get everything I own, with as close to zero hassle as possible. This will include real estate holdings as well as cash dollars and such. Not complicated — at least, I don’t think so. But I figure we’d better be sure everything is set up correctly.

Gawdlmighty, I hate this bureaucratic BS. But guess there’s no way around it.

At any rate, I spavined my left heel this morning. Hurts like the dickens. So…that lets out strolling up to the next big intersection and hiking around the shops there in search of Young Lawyer. If my son hadn’t made off with my car, I’d still be able to set up this part of his inheritance. But…hey…ya get what you ask for, eh?

The car won’t make up for the jillion bucks in cash. But…it’ll be something. I guess.

Just back from the morning (almost typed “moroning”….talk about your Freudian slips!) hike around the park. That’s a mile or so of trotting along  behind a very bossy corgi, dodging fellow dog-slaves around a lovely, grassy expanse.

Well. It would be lovely if my fellow humans could manage to cling to just a smidgeon of their brains.

Idiots.

The ones who take the proverbial cake are the nitwits who imagine their dog “just wants to pwayyy” with my dog.

Me: Please keep your dog back.

Nit: It’s OK. They just want to pwaayyyy…

Me: No, stupid. My dog just wants to eat your dog!

God, but I’m tired of stupid! 

Apparently we have a bottomless supply of it, though. Don’t seem to be able to escape it.

Please. When you’re out with your dog…

a) Keep your dog on its leash (!!!); and
b) Refrain from imagining that every other dog you encounter wants to be your doggy’s little pal!!!!!

Some of your fellow human idiots are mightily tired of being dragged into dog fights!

Just got back from circumnavigating the ‘Hood: for the first time in living memory, without the dog dragging me around. Lovely! Absolutely LOVELY.

The air is soft and delicate. No heat. No cold, either.

No one else was around, so the way was quiet and peaceful, just as gentle as gentle can be. I’ve not had as pleasant a walk in as long as I can remember!

So. After this, the Dawg gets her hike the first thing in the morning. Then I get my stroll last thing in the evening. That way, I get twice as much walking in. Ruby misses out on nothing. And I get to enjoy this lovely neighborhood.

Gosh, I hope the evenings stay this pleasant for a good long time: ideally, into and even through the summer.

That’s a forlorn hope, o’course: come late June and July, it’ll be hotter than the hubs of Hades out there.

But for the nonce, I can build a habit of a daily walk. And then when the summer blast fires up, Ruby and I can follow the same route first thing in the morning, before the sun comes up. That’ll leave only about three weeks when the summer heat makes the place truly non-navigable.

Quite a stroll it was, too. Not a single bum. No weirdos. No undue racket from the main drags. Unusual, one could say.

Nay, verily: it is SIZZLING hot out there, on the streets, in the park, in the grassy yards. Hoooleee maquerel!

Just staggered back in the house. Fortunately, I had enough presence of mind to NOT take the dawg with me when I left the Funny Farm a couple of hours ago.

That was because I’d planned to go by the nearby office of a lawyer-for-all-trades, as it were, and ask him to help ensure that, when I croak over, everything in my sticky little hands will transfer smoothly, quickly, and with ZERO hassle to my good son.

In theory, it should: I have no other heirs. None that I know of, anyway. But who knows? We’re talkin’ bucks here. What with the wonders of inflation, the house alone is worth in the vicinity of a million bucks. And I want every single one of those bucks to go straight to him.

Don’t you know that someone, somewhere will jump into that fray and try to rip off a chunk of that bread dough?

Yeah.

So. Get lawyer now. Get will scam-proofed. Get everything set up for my excellent son. 

Navigating to said lawyer’s office, in the absence of a car, entails traipsing through UNGAWDLY heat. And alas, at this point — a little after 4:00 in the afternoon — this old bat is in no shape to trudge over there right this minute.

Tomorrow.

Let’s hope I live until tomorrow, eh?

I’ll charge over there in the morning, along about when I hope they open. Not open yet? Coffee shop lurks right next door!

My son’s father is a lawyer…of the retired variety. What I’m hoping is that I can set things up with this new guy, and then DXH can review whatever we come up with to be sure it’s OK. If not, the two can work together to make it OK.

This would evade any question of a conflict of interest. And yet still be sure someone who cares is overseeing things.

Í hope.

One of the challenges that greets you in old age is that younger adults treat you like you were a non compos mentis kid. Fixing your vacuum cleaner when it doesn’t need to be fixed, for example.   Or better yet, insisting on doing it herself when plainly any such job would need to done by a mechanic!

Honest to gawd!

Soooo….what does this imply?

Probably, it suggests that you need to build a small corps of repairmen who can fix things around your house: quickly and with minimal hassle. Preferably people who will come to your house, since it may be difficult to get some items to their shop.

Today, for example, the weather is moderately cozy: only 85 degrees in the sun, but NINETEEN PERCENT humidity. That slug of water in the air makes it feel like it’s hotter than the hubs out there! Without a car — my son having kiped mine — I would either have to pay an Uber guy to drive me to the nearby repair shop, or tote the vacuum over there myself.

Neither of those options appeals. But because I’m stuck without my car, I have no sensible choice. Either I make myself sick hauling the machine to the nearest appliance store on foot through the unholy heat, or I pay through the schnoz to get it over there, and pay again to get it home.

It just makes me so goddamn MAD that she messed with that expensive machine when I asked her not to!  Who the fuck does she think she is????

Anyway, just now it seems to be working OK. We shall see how long that lasts.

Otherwise, the day has been relatively quiet. Hot: very hot. But no inane crises going on. That’s refreshing.

I guess….