Fred Marple is up early, working on a little surprise for the missus. 

Here's Fred's semi-secret recipe for Perfectly Good Corn Pancakes:

1. Buy a package of Jiffy corn muffin mix.

2. Follow the pancake recipe on the side, BUT...

3. Instead of 3/4 cup milk, just use 1/4 cup milk, AND...

4. Add 1/2 cup of cream-style corn.

Then make 'em the way you would any other pancakes--you don't need us to tell you how to do that. For goodness sakes don't overbeat the batter. You want leathery pancakes, go right ahead, but don't say we didn't warn you.

(Actual items from the local police record.)

Disorderly person: at 7:52 p.m., police went to Altemont Street after getting a report of a man screaming that he was going to kill two dogs if they didn't stop barking and making obscene gestures.

Not sure we want to know what an obscene dog gesture looks like.

Click here for more Police Report nonsense.

At every Frost Heaves show, we write an original "Song on the Spot" based on suggestions from the audience. Here's an audio collection of some of the most hilarious tunes from our first four years:

Get your copy of Songs on the Spot, a real Yankee bargain at $12 plus shipping:

Here's a new music collection based on the top news stories of the past decade, fresh from our live show:

Here's a preview of the show we're bringing to The Barnstormers Theatre on May 26, 2012.

Tickets at the door or by calling the box office at 603-323-8500.