Freddy in Space

The Return Of The Drunken Q&A!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Sat, 26 May 2012 04:32:00 +0000

Got the house to myself for the night and I'm spending it whacking back a few beers and sitting on the computer, so I figured now was as good a time as any for another little drunken Q&A. I posted a call for questions over on the Freddy In Space Facebook page a couple hours ago, so let's see what you folks have come up with!

That sounds like a divine triple threat to me. When are you gonna invite me over for one of these, Elliot?

If I had to pick my own triple feature of similarly themed flicks, I'd have to go with a little cabin in the woods night; Friday Part 4, Cabin Fever and of course, The Cabin In The Woods. Optimally, this would be enjoyed while pounding beers, in a cabin, in the woods. Either that or a kids vs evil triple feature, with The Gate, The Monster Squad and Joe Dante's The Hole (has ANYONE seen that movie yet?!).

Only if you PROMise to put out, James. Now everyone go pick up the Prom Night 2 shirt James is speaking of from Fright Rags!! I just drunk dialed Mary Lou's number. And it's totally in service.

Cuddle up on the couch with Adam Green's Frozen, would be my advice!

This is a great fucking question. So great in fact that I don't think I even have an answer. Totally lame, I know. Let me think about that one though.

Yep, it does suck. Here's the thing about Bruce. He's an incredible actor, when he's got good material. But he seems to keep wanting to do these lame movies that he comes up with and writes. Hell, I talked with Don Coscarelli (name drop!) at a convention a few years back and he told me Bruce didn't want to do Bubba Ho-Tep 2, because he wanted to continue making his own little movies. Shit like Screaming Brain and My Name Is Bruce. I guess if he's happy doing that stuff, more power to him. But he proved with Bubba Ho-Tep that he's got serious chops, and I wish he'd do more stuff like that. Back to My Name Is Bruce for a second. That movie frustrates me so much. Such a brilliant idea, and yet so poorly executed. There's absolutely no reason that movie shouldn't be awesome and yet, it's just not.

That line from Shark Attack 3 : Megalodon about eating pussy comes immediately to mind. Aside from that, the 69'ing scene from History Of Violence always makes me feel awkward whenever I watch it with someone else in the room.

Probably Anthony Perkins. And I'd ask him to please wear a rubber, so we could all continue having him in our lives for as long as possible. But seriously. That's a serious question and it deserves a serious answer. So I'd have to go with Bela Lugosi. I'd ask him what he thought of Martin Landau's performance in Ed Wood, and how much of the characterization was true to life. And then we'd do hard drugs together.

Oh, hello again Sarah! Since I'm comfortable with my sexuality, I can comfortably answer this question. And my answer would have to be Bill Moseley. Something about that dude is just sexy, whether he's got a big thick beard or he's clean shaven, or even if he's got his exposed brain nestled inside a fishbowl atop his head (oh snap, Silent Night, Deadly Night 3 reference!). Is it just me, ladies?!

I actually prefer Freddy when he's comical, but I'd have to go with the original on this one. He was fairly dark in New Nightmare too, though I didn't dig that trench coat or boney hand/glove all that much. Totally appreciate that movie these days though, a lot moreso than I did when I was younger. I really like that very brief bit in Freddy vs Jason where Freddy burst out of the water, looking like a creepy ass devil, and was super mad and evil. Kinda wish there was more of that in there because that was so badass.

Asking a horror fan for their favorite Kurt Russell movie is a bit like asking a horror fan what horror movie has the best practical effects of all time; the answer to both is always The Thing!!

Good question. It's a bit of a tough one to answer though, because I can state cases for both sides of the story here. I've seen countless occasions where washed up horror stars are put into movies because the people making them know they can not only get them, but also because they know that having a known name attached to their shitty movie will get a few people to see it. Hell I even talked to Stu Charno (name drop #2!) at a convention about this, over a couple Blue Moon's, and he admitted that he knows some filmmakers only want him to be in their movies because he was in a Friday The 13th flick. He seemed kinda sad about it too.

On the other side of the coin though, people with talent like Rob Zombie & Adam Green put folks like Sid Haig & Tony Todd into their movies because of their talents, rather than their star power, which is awesome to see. It's situations like those, where true fans of these guys put them into their movies, where those actors actually get solid acting work, rather than just being used to slap their name on the DVD cover. With guys like Zombie & Green, they're getting to direct some of their childhood heroes, so that's really cool for them and also for us, because there's that respect level there where they want to give them the best material they can.

So it really depends on the movie/filmmaker. Sometimes these guys are put in for good reasons, other times they're just being used to make money.

Scariest one for me is the slaughterhouse with Leatherface. No one quite scares me like Leatherface does. And I've always had a serious fear of getting murdered with a chainsaw. Not a fun way to go. As for which I think I could survive, I could totally outrun the Tall Man and his old balls.

Big thanks to everyone who asked questions, sorry I couldn't answer them all. Had a blast doing this, as always. So again, thanks for giving me something fun to do on a night like this, where I'm sitting home alone with my cats and some booze. Until next time, I now pass out!!

So, You Wanna Be A Horror Blogger? Tip #2

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Sat, 26 May 2012 02:38:00 +0000

This next tip revolves around generating content, which in my opinion is not only the most important thing about blogging, but appropriately also the most difficult. I personally feel that unique content is more important for the blogger even than writing skill, as I'd much rather read a poorly written blog with great content than a well written one that's boring as can be. Maybe that's just me, but I can't possibly overstate the importance of original quality content when it comes to blogging.

The best tip I can give in regards to generating content is this ...

#2) BLOG AS IF EVERY ONE OF YOUR READERS IS YOU.

What I mean by this is that you have to blog about things you care about. That passion will show through, and like minded folks will be drawn to your blog. The people who don't share the same interests as you are probably not the ones you want reading your blog anyway. You're not gonna appeal to every single reader with every single post, this is true, but I can almost guarantee that you will get yourself an audience simply by blogging about the topics that are of personal interest to you. And what can possibly be easier than sitting down on your computer chair and talking about shit you love to talk about?

So basically, whenever anything interests you, BLOG ABOUT IT! Don't worry about what other people are gonna think or whether or not it will generate hits for you. If the topic you want to write a particular post about is something you'd stop to read if you saw it on someone else's blog, then by all means, hit that "Make A New Post" button and pour your passion out through your keyboard.

You've probably noticed that here on Freddy In Space there are a whole lot of posts about similar topics, toys being a big one. Why is that? Because I like toys, plain and simple. When I see new ones or am struck with fond memories of older ones from my childhood, I am compelled to post about them. They are what interests me and so my blog, naturally, reflects that. Again, anyone who may be annoyed by my frequent posts about individual topics like toys is quite simply a person I don't need reading MY blog anyway. It's the people that are like me that I'm looking to appeal to.

I again must reiterate that it is not by any means easy to consistently generate unique and original content that is going to entertain and inform readers on a daily basis. It's the hardest battle a blogger will ever have to fight. But if you keep yourself in the mindset that everyone who will potentially be reading your blog is a clone of yourself, it's gonna help you fight that battle in a big way. Your own unique voice is why people are going to be drawn to your blog, and it's also your biggest strong suit, so stay true to yourself and post only about the things that interest you.

Whenever you sit down to write something, ask yourself a simple question; would I read this post if I saw it on someone else's blog? If the answer is no, throw the idea out the window. You're not the one who's best qualified to write that post, so don't even bother. Making a post about a popular trending news topic may bring in temporary hits, but it's the posts about your love for obscure little gems and weird old toys that are going to bring in the kinds of steady and loyal readers that you want.

Couple other little tips about generating content while we're here...

- Stay away from too many news stories or movie reviews. If you have something to say about a particular news story then by all means, post about it. But I always hate to go on blogs and see press releases and news stories copied, pasted and regurgitated from the big news sites. Leave that kind of stuff to those sites. A blog is your own personal little soap box, so utilize it as such.

As for reviews, a horror blogger should always keep on top of new releases and share their thoughts on them. At the same time though, there's nothing more boring than a blog that's full of nothing but reviews. Variety is the spice of life, and I encourage you to think outside the box and try and come up with original stuff that can only be found on YOUR blog.

- Set your brain to always be on the lookout for content. This one takes time but I've fine tuned my brain to always be on the hunt for content so much over the years that I literally have a wealth of ideas jotted down that I could never possibly even get around to blogging about it all. There's another tip; keep a journal, and write post ideas in it whenever they come to you. Whenever you're hard up for content, it's good to have a list handy of ideas that you can bang out. Besides, I've personally found that if I don't write stuff down when I think of it, it's oftentimes lost amidst everything else that goes on in life on any given day.

Bottom line being, if you're not actively looking to come up with new content, it probably won't come to you. But if you train yourself to see anything and everything as content, whether it be a movie you watch, a new toy you find in the toy store or an article you read in the paper, you will find yourself with a never ending stream of potential posts.

Now get blogging, will ya?!

Did Oren Peli Steal The Chernobyl Diaries?

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Sat, 26 May 2012 00:40:00 +0000

Chernobyl Diaries was released into theaters today, and the reviews have thus far been pretty poor. I haven't yet seen it for myself, so I'll reserve any judgements until I do, but something pretty interesting just came to my attention* that I wanted to share with you all tonight.

Long story short, a couple of filmmakers from Baltimore just released a trailer they made back in 2010 as a fundraising pitch for a horror film called Pripyat, about a group of people who find themselves fighting for their lives when they pay a visit to the abandoned Chernobyl power plant. Of course, this is the exact same plot as Chernobyl Diaries, which is set in Pripyat, a real life ghost town that's right near the plant. Story goes that the Pripyat trailer was pitched to several movie studios and producers in New York & LA, without the consent of the guys who made it. Two years later, Chernobyl Diaries surfaces, an allegedly original idea from the mind of Paranormal Activity creator Oren Peli.

All I'm saying is, something smells pretty damn fishy here.

Check out a little comparison video the makers of the Pripyat trailer just released, to show the extent of the similarity.

Now I know it's entirely possible that this could just be a case of coincidence, as it's not uncommon for two people to come up with a similar idea for a film around the same time, but I gotta say, this does make me lose a little bit of the respect I had for Chernobyl Diaries going into it. The main draw of the film for me was the setting, which I considered to be a pretty unique and genius place to set a horror film, and now I can't help but feel a little less enthusiastic about all that.

Again, could be coincidence, but this wouldn't be the first time Hollywood stole an idea from an independent filmmaker and proclaimed it as their own. Hate to see that kind of shit happen and I can only hope that's not the case here. Nevertheless, it is pretty damn unfortunate that Pripyat will never be seen as anything more than a ripoff of Chernobyl Diaries, if it in fact does someday get made. That makes me sad.

You can learn more about the controversy over at the Pripyat Facebook page, which touts the film as "the original independent feature" and lists it as being in pre-production, still seeking funding.

Anyways. Will of course be checking out Chernobyl Diaries this weekend and will post my thoughts when I do!

*Huge thanks to Jonathan Drew Kinigson for bringing this all to my attention!!

You'll Never Look At Candyman The Same Way Again...

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Fri, 25 May 2012 23:14:00 +0000

When you're a blogger, there are some things you lay your eyes on that simply demand you blog about them, as if some higher power is forcing you to do so. For me, that divine calling is generally heard when it comes to things like awesome movies I see or cool new products I discover while bumming around the internet. But sometimes, random bizarre shit comes your way out of left field and you're compelled to spread the gospel. This post is one of those posts.

I'm just gonna cut right to the chase here. My dear friend Kristy Jett was looking at internet porn last night. Why am I sharing this bit of personal information? Because in her travels around the land of fucking and sucking, Kristy stumbled upon a very interesting little video. Here's an account of what she discovered, in her own words...

"I was looking through some videos and there was Tony Todd's unmistakable mug....and immediately I thought of you. I knew I had to show you."

I know what you're thinking.

Tony Todd ... the Candyman himself ... in a porno?!

Well, not exactly. What Kristy stumbled upon was the following video, a clip of Tony Todd in the throes of some pretty salacious sexual activity, from a little soft-core erotic drama from 2000 called Le Secret. Now I must mention that Le Secret is a totally legit film, and Todd never actually appears naked in it or sticks his wee wee inside of anything, but nevertheless if you have ever wanted to know what it's like to watch Candyman get it on with a fine young white lady, a click on the image below will bring such pleasures into your life.

Men, what you're about to see is incredibly disturbing. Women, prepare to be simultaneously disturbed and aroused. You've all been warned.

If you just had the internal thought that the only thing that would make that video better would be if the climax involved bees coming out of Candyman's mouth, into the chick's vag, then please, don't feel weird. Such a thought is only natural.

You fucking weirdo.

Cool Art : Jason Edmiston's Monsters Of Rock!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Fri, 25 May 2012 03:56:00 +0000

I've talked about Jason Edmiston enough times that you should probably be familiar with him by now. Long story short, he's one of my favorite artists in the game and he's one hell of a nice dude to boot.

Jason recently completed a series of art prints titled 'Monsters Of Rock', where he visualized six modern day rock gods as gooey, slimey grotesque monsters. Some would say they already were gooey, slimy and grotesque before Jason ever got to them, but that's neither here nor there.

Check out the full Monsters Of Rock collection, which were originally created for an art show in NYC late last year, and completed earlier this year for a show in Long Beach!

ANGUS

DEE

BILLY

AXL

JOEY

TOMMY

Lovin' the 80's gross-out vibe of these!!

These 13"x16.5" prints are limited to only 100 pieces each, and are now available over in Jason's Etsy shop. So head over there to pick up your favorite rock monsters and check out some other incredible stuff Jason has whipped up over the years!!

Breakfast Is Served, Bitch!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Thu, 24 May 2012 23:06:00 +0000

I'm not sure how I missed this little nugget of weirdness, but apparently a press release was issued by Warner Bros. a couple weeks back, informing the world of their plans to issue a line of toasters this September in honor of some of their hottest properties. The toasters will not only be branded with film and television show logos, but will actually burn images of beloved characters into the slices of toast they produce.

Some of the properties involved in this bizarre money making scheme? Nightmare On Elm Street, Friday The 13th & Gremlins. I shit you not.

Anyone else simultaneously scratching their head over this and secretly craving some Freddy toast? I mean, it is fucking stupid as can be, but I am in the market for a toaster and I'd rather have one that burns Freddy into my toast than one that doesn't. Just sayin'.

OK stop it, John. Resist the urge. This is fucking bottom of the barrel lame and you know it. RESIST!!!

Sorry inner self, but if a Freddy laugh emanates from the bowels of this thing when the toast is ready, I'm afraid resistance will be futile...

What's In The PO Box?! A Little Box Warming Package From Hayes Hudson!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Thu, 24 May 2012 22:21:00 +0000

For anyone who missed the memo, I opened up the Freddy In Space PO Box a couple weeks back, the address for which can be found over on the sidebar to your right. Rather than giving out my home address to anyone who asks for it, I figured it'd be best to just open a box and let anyone send anything they want there, be it dirty underwear or movies they've made. Also figured it'd be a fun little recurring segment to open up the box live on the blog and share what I've found in there.

Speaking of which, here's the very first package I've received in the Freddy In Space PO Box, courtesy of fellow blogger Hayes Hudson of Hayes Hudson's House Of Horror!

Would you believe me if I told you I've never read a single page of the Walking Dead comic books? Pretty lame of me, eh? This is the 2010 re-issue of the very first issue, the perfect place for me to begin my journey while I wait for Season 3 of the TV show. Kick. Ass.

Killer School Girls From Outer Space poster ... starring Ron Jeremy! Never even heard of this one, but I think I'll have to seek it out!

The Last Man On Earth/Devil's Messenger DVD double feature. Big fan of Last Man but haven't ever seen Devil's Messenger. Lon Chaney Jr. as Satan ... I'm sold!

An assortment of Freddy themed Fright Flicks cards. Hayes clearly knows that these cards are one of the fastest ways to my heart!

And finally, a few promotional items for Hayes' blog, including business cards, a post card and even a magnet. And here I was thinking I was cool for merely having business cards!

Hayes, thank you so much for the goodies and also for the incredibly kind words in your note. Means a whole lot to me to know that I have the support of fellow bloggers in this community. Please know that you've got all the support in the world from me as well!

Cool Shit : The Puzzle Box Pillow!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Thu, 24 May 2012 03:58:00 +0000

This latest addition to Horror Decor's ever growing pillow collection doesn't officially go up for sale on their site until Friday, but as of right now it is available at a super secret link, which was sent out only to newsletter subscribers. I don't know if Horror Decor will be mad at me for doing this, but CLICK HERE to access that secret compartment of their site and grab yours for the limited time price of only $10.50! Once these go up on the site for all to see on Friday, the price will go up to $12.50, so now's the time to grab one of these if it tickles your fancy bone.

I'm tempted to buy one but at the same time I'm kinda afraid to do so; I toss and turn so much in bed that I'm pretty sure I'd inadvertently unleash the Cenobites in my sleep!!

Head over to Horror Decor for a whole plethora of other horror icons that you can lay your weary head to rest on, including Ash, Leatherface, Chucky, Ghostface and even Rick Grimes. Ooohh Deputy Grimes, you so dreamy.

11 Awesome Comic Book Covers!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Thu, 24 May 2012 03:23:00 +0000

Lately I've been kinda getting into horror movie comic book spin-offs, and I plan on reviewing different series' from time to time in the near future. In the meantime though, while I've been hunting out comics to check out, I've come across some pretty awesome cover arts, and I wanted to share some of my favorites with you all tonight.

So here's a little gallery of horror movie themed comic covers that I think you're gonna like!

Oh and my apologies if the image above got your hopes up. That one's not real. But all the rest of these are!

Feel free to add any cover arts that you dig, in the comments section below!!

Cool Promotional Shit : 'The Birds' Mask!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Wed, 23 May 2012 04:06:00 +0000

Alfred Hitchcock was one of the greatest showmen in the history of Hollywood, always coming up with unique ways to market and generate excitement for his films. Case in point; these little punch-out bird masks, which were whipped up to promote the 1963 release of The Birds. I don't know if it was Hitchcock himself who came up with the idea or not, but getting audience members to dress up as birds while watching The Birds sure sounds like The Hitch to me!

Now the cool thing about these was that audience members who showed up to opening weekend screenings wearing the mask were granted free access to watch the movie, provided the number on the back of their mask matched a number on a list at the theater. I guess how it worked was that only a handful of the masks printed up were actually 'winners' of free tickets, so wearing it to the theater didn't guarantee anything but looking like a fool. A pretty damn cool fool if you're asking me!

Of course, anyone who still has one of these in their possession can get a whole lot more for it than a free movie ticket. There's one on eBay right now with a Buy It Now price of over $100!

New Toy Pre-Orders : Freddy, Jason & Chucky!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Tue, 22 May 2012 23:29:00 +0000

Just got an e-mail from my friends over at Amok Time, informing me of several exciting new toys that are now available for pre-order, shipping very soon. You know I can't keep this kind of info to myself, so let's take a look at the figures you will soon be able to add to your toy collections!!

Dream Warriors Freddy

Dream Child Freddy

Part 3 Jason

Part 3 Jason Variant

These first four are from NECA, a company which has quickly risen to the very tip top of the world of horror movie based action figures. They've in the past released a multitude of Elm Street & Friday toys, with a clear intent to put out as many different variations of Freddy and Jason as possible. This marks the very first time a baby Freddy action figure has been made, which is pretty damn exciting if you ask me.

All four figures are now available for pre-order for $15.99 a piece. The Jason's are scheduled to begin shipping in August, with both Freddy's coming the following month.

This here is the latest addition to the Living Dead Dolls horror icons collection, which in the past has seen the release of LDD's in the likenesses of everyone from Captain Spaulding to Freddy Krueger. It seems only natural that Chucky himself has now been given the illustrious Living Dead Doll treatment!

Chucky ships in September and can be pre-ordered right now for $24.99.

As cool as it is to be able to own action figures depicting characters like Freddy, Jason & Chucky in all of the different looks/outfits they've donned, does anyone else wish some attention would be given to other characters from the films, folks like Kincaid and Crazy Ralph? I know there isn't nearly as much of a market for toys like those, but I'd personally love to see more stuff like Mezco's Debbie Stevens figure.

Yard Sale Finds : Madballs!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Tue, 22 May 2012 22:07:00 +0000

Around this time every year, Jen and I like to head out on the weekends and go yard sale hunting for treasures, either by biking around in our town or driving out to other towns. Well, actually, it's kinda something I like to do more than her, but she comes along because she knows it makes me happy. The couple that digs through other people's trash is the couple that stays together, I always say.

So yea, it's getting to be that time where yard sales are beginning to pop up all over the place and I figured I'd start documenting any cool finds I make over the summer, at least the ones that are relevant to the blog (which is probably the only sort of stuff I'd be buying from yard sales anyway).

Our journey begins this past Saturday, where I made a pretty awesome find at a yard sale a stone's throw away from my house ...

Abridged history lesson for the uninitiated :

One of the most glorious exports of the 80's gross out fad, Madballs were a hugely successful line of rubber monster balls that were given a multitude of spin-off merchandise, everything from a video game to an animated series, comic books to silly string. Oddly enough, the line was created by American Greetings, the popular company known the world over for their sappy, lovey dovey greeting cards. Go figure!

Madballs are near and dear to my heart because they came around at the perfect time for me to enjoy playing with them as a kid, and I have many fond memories of doing just that. I unfortunately have never been able to track down any of the ones I had from back then, hell we probably sold them to other kids at yard sales over the years, so I tend to pick replacements up whenever I can find them.

This little guy is from the 2007 Madballs revival line, a relaunch of both classic characters as well as new ones that saw the spawning of an all new sub-series called 'SICK', which is the variation of classic character Slobulus that I found laying amongst a pile of children's toys the other day. These particular variations have gross little goodies on the inside, which are forced to the outside when you squeeze them, through various different cavities in their pretty little heads.

Considering the fact that the household I found this at clearly had a couple kids in it, I was surprised to find this thing still in its package, in great shape aside from some sun fading which likely is the result of it sitting outside at many yard sales in the past. For only $4, I wasn't about to leave him at a home where he wasn't loved for a single second longer.

A mawfucka like this needs to be set free. And I'm happy to report that ole Slobulus has finally, after all these years, been set free from his little plastic meshy cage.

Don't let that face fool you. He's never been happier.

This is my only cool find of the weekend but hey, I've learned to appreciate even one treasure on any given yard saling adventure. It's not uncommon at all to come home completely empty handed!

Vintage Video Of The Week : Night Of The Living Duck!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Sat, 19 May 2012 23:33:00 +0000

In 1988, a film called Daffy Duck's Quackbusters was released into theaters, a feature length compilation of Daffy cartoon segments from the past, spanning 40 years of everyone's favorite duck. The opening cartoon featured in the film was a six minute short called Night Of The Living Duck, which was the only segment in it that was created exclusively for the film.

In the cartoon, Daffy, a hardcore horror fan, gets bonked on the head while reading an issue of Hideous Tales (a faux take on mags like Creepy & Tales From The Crypt), and has a nightmare which puts him on a stage, forced to entertain a crowd full of monsters, everyone from The Fly to The Blob, Leatherface to The Wolf Man. He ends up winning the crowd over with an original song, titled 'Monsters Lead Such Interesting Lives'.

Enjoy the full segment as my offering for this week's Vintage Video Of The Week. Keep your eyes peeled for a Return Of The Thing poster in Daffy's bedroom!!

Horror Look-Alikes : Part 5!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Fri, 18 May 2012 04:22:00 +0000

It's time once again for me to spend way too much of my time traversing the vaults of Totally Looks Like, to find more hilarious things/people that look like things/people from the world of horror. As always, before we proceed, check out the past four installments if ya missed 'em!

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

PART 4

I don't support the clubbing of seals. But I'm not gonna stop you from clubbing Shelley Duvall, Jack.

Imagining an alternate universe where Eckhart was in Troll 2 and Hardy played Two Face. I want to live in that universe.

Bieber would totally earn my respect if he started using dead bodies as household decorations. Just sayin'.

"You can't see .... BRAINS!!!!"

Give it a second...

Take Your VCR's Out Of Storage : Vultra Video Is Going Back To The Past, In The Near Future!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Thu, 17 May 2012 04:25:00 +0000

Don't worry I'm not exactly sure what that title means either. But it sounded good.

Tonight, before I hit the sack (ow), I just want to turn your attention over to a new company called Vultra Video, which is looking to bring back old school VHS horrors one shot on video flick at a time. Founded by Syracuse Horror & Sci-Fi Garage Sale proprietors Jason West & David Royal, the company is soon looking to release both faux trailers as well as feature films, all entirely shot on glorious video.

Vultra Video just this week made its presence known over on Facebook, where two upcoming projects were announced; a faux trailer called The Fumigator and a full length feature titled GOREgeous. The former will be debuting on June 30th at this year's second annual Horror & Sci-Fi Garage Sale, while the latter will be coming our way shortly after that.

If you dig old school shot on video horror, head over to the Vultra Video Facebook page, give it a 'like' and spread the word to your fellow videovores!

In the meantime, check out Vultra's vintage style video intro, which will play before all trailers and films they put out!!

Is it 1982 or 2012? I'm not even sure anymore and I'M LOVIN' IT!!

Coffee Wars : Rob Zombie vs David Lynch!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Wed, 16 May 2012 23:13:00 +0000

A double dose of caffeinated weirdness came to my attention recently, when I discovered that two filmmakers who most of us horror fans hold near and dear to our hearts, Rob Zombie and David Lynch, have their own personal blends of coffee. Yes, you read that right. Zombie & Lynch coffee. Let the oddball awesomeness of that sink in. Or should I say, percolate. Get it? GET IT?!

Armed with this knowledge, I knew there was one thing I absolutely had to do; buy a bag of each, fire up the coffee maker, and make a post letting you folks know which I found to be a more tasty pick me up. It's just one of those ideas that I had no choice but to see through.

But before we throw these two into the squared circle and let them duke it out, we begin this battle the way all battles should begin; with a little tale of the tape. So here's a quick rundown of what these two are made of!

In this corner, we have Rob Zombie's Hellbilly Brew, an organic Peruvian blend that comes our way Fair Trade Certified. Described as 'smooth and medium bodied with a tangy finish', this 100% organic blend hails from the Andes and the rain forests of the Amazon Basin, which I've been assured makes it 'Rock Star worthy'.

And in the opposing corner, we have David Lynch's Signature Cup, a house roast that is also 100% organic. Billed as a 'light roast with crisp and bright notes of creamy cocoa and hazelnuts', the beans for this blend come from the Sierra Madres of Oaxaca, Mexico. They are grown by small independent farmers, which is pretty rock star in its own right.

Though I admittedly don't have all that much of a capacity to be taken seriously as it is, I must offer up a little disclaimer here before we get to the tasting portion of this post. I'm not what you'd call a coffee connoisseur, by any means. In fact, I'm pretty certain coffee connoisseurs would scoff at the way I drink coffee and kick me off the island. Ya see, I'm the kinda guy who buys coffee grounds based solely on how tasty the flavor listed on the label sounds to me, regardless of how cheap it is and what company it's from. If it's labeled as being 'Birthday Cake' flavored, I don't care if some dude grew the beans in his bathtub, I'm all over it.

I'm also the kinda guy who loads that coffee up with as much flavored creamer and sugar as can fit on top of it in the mug, to the point that you really can't even taste the coffee itself. And no, I don't choose a creamer flavor that complements the grounds. I can often be found dumping Almond Joy creamer over a cup of Pumpkin Pie coffee, and thoroughly enjoying every last sweet sip.

So while I can't start a morning or a post-nap evening off without a cup of coffee on my desk beside me, I admit that I know fuck all about coffee. And yes, I'm comfortable with that.

Now right off the bat here, while the coffee is brewing, I've gotta award three preliminary points already to David Lynch's coffee, over Zombie's. While this taste test is all about which I prefer once the hot coffee meets my lips, there are three little things that make Lynch's blend stand out from the get go as being a bit superior...

1) Lynch's coffee smells a whole lot better than Zombie's. A sniff inside of Lynch's bag evokes the delicious scents of walking into a gourmet coffee shop, while a sniff inside Zombie's smells more like a sweaty rock show crowd that's been sprayed with coffee. Fitting, I suppose, but the smell of Lynch's is undeniably a whole lot more appealing and inviting. Sorry, Rob.

2) Lynch's coffee is available both whole bean and ground, while Zombie's is only available whole bean. Making me do work before I get to drink your coffee = no bueno, Rob. Thankfully, I'm buddy buddy with the dudes who run the bagel shop right next to my job, and they were happy to grind up the beans for me earlier this morning. Actually, I think they were kinda irritated, but they did it anyway.

3) This last one is a bit of an unfair judgement, but I've gotta say, though I love Rob Zombie, there's just something about David Lynch that makes me think he'd be a better man to buy coffee from. I don't know what it is, but David Lynch coffee seems quite fitting while Rob Zombie coffee just seems kinda odd and out of place. In other words, it came as no surprise to me to discover that Lynch himself created his own extensive taste testing methods in order to find the perfect beans to use for his coffees. Thankfully for Rob, I will buy pretty much anything with his name on it, as evidenced by the Halloween 2 ticket stub that's lying in the bottom of my desk drawer somewhere. Oh snap.

Alright, enough yapping, let's do what we came here to do; drink these cups of director made joe and find out which one reigns supreme!!

Again, since I'm no coffee expert here, the simple method of testing I came up with to determine whose coffee was superior was fairly juvenile; whichever tasted better would be awarded the Freddy In Space Coffee Wars World Championship Title, as easy as that. Hints and notes of this and that are not how I roll. It's all about which tastes the best to my limited palate, plain and simple. First I sipped each cup without any sugar or creamer and then I added my usual sugar and creamer portions to each, to truly determine which one pound for pound I would prefer to spend the rest of my coffee consuming mornings with.

As expected, both were fairly unappealing without any sugar or creamer, as I personally find all coffees to be. That said, even totally naked (lunch), Lynch's coffee is a whole lot more palatable and dare I say pretty well drinkable even on its own. Zombie's on the other hand is bitter and very much undrinkable, without some taste enhancing bells and whistles added.

Both prepared the way I normally prepare my coffee every morning, the results are no different, as Lynch's blend once again blows Zombie's out of the water. It's not that Zombie's coffee is particularly bad, but the difference between the two is quite like the difference between masturbation and bareback sex; Zombie's coffee gets the job done, but Lynch's is pure ecstasy, the kind of coffee everybody should start their day off with. It's smooth, it's exquisite, and I can guarantee you that the bag its contained in will be empty long before the one that holds Zombie's grounds is. And I'll tell ya what, I wouldn't be at all surprised to find myself coming back for seconds. Zombie's? Not likely.

Final verdict? While Rob Zombie's coffee is drinkable, it comes off more than anything else a case of a famous dude just slapping his name on any ole bag of beans. In Lynch's case however, it's clear that the man himself scoured the globe for the best tasting coffee he could find, refusing to slap his name on anything less than perfect. As a result, David Lynch wins this battle hands down. Zombie may have cooler packaging, but I'll take a great movie with boring packaging over a mediocre one with great cover art any day of the week. In the world of coffee, David Lynch's Signature Cup is Citizen Kane.

Hate to post this, but I was even anonymously sent this photograph by a member of the paparazzi which confirms my personal findings...

Eeek. Sorry, Rob, but even Sheri prefers Lynch's coffee over yours!

Holy shit I'm fucking wired from all this caffeine. Where the fuck am I? Jesus jumping Christ.

You can purchase Rob Zombie coffee over in Zombie's online shop, where he's also got a french roast available. Lynch's can be bought through the website Java Distribution, and his blend also comes in espresso roast and decaf french roast varieties. Believe it or not, Lynch's coffee is actually a couple bucks cheaper, so there's yet another win for that surrealist motherfucker!

OK, I'm gonna go throw up now. Remind me to never again drink two cups of coffee back to back.

The Life And Death Of The MAXx FX Toy Line!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Wed, 16 May 2012 04:42:00 +0000

If your childhood was anything like mine, that image up there likely brings back a flood of memories. The MAXx FX Freddy doll was put out by Matchbox in 1989, giving fright fans the opportunity to become a makeup FX artist in their own bedroom by literally turning an ordinary Ken doll into the dream demon. The MAXx FX line was created to capitalize on the Fangoria fueled makeup FX frenzy of the time, with a whole series of monster appliances planned for production. If you're wondering why the only one you can remember is Freddy, rest assured, your memory is not failing you. Freddy was in fact the only MAXx FX doll that ever actually saw release.

This here post you're reading right now was not intended at all to be what it has ended up becoming, and I say that in the best of ways. I recently caught wind of a prototype Alien (as in, the movie) MAXx FX doll that was supposed to come out back in the 80's and as I began to research, compiling information for a possible post about that doll, I ended up falling down a rabbit hole of unproduced awesomeness the likes of which quite frankly shocked me. Long story short, the Alien doll was only the beginning ...

My research led me to a site called The Life and Death of MAXx FX, a blog run by Mel Birnkrant, the creator of the toy line. It was there that I realized Mel had created a whole line of monster make-ups for ole MAXx, which never saw production for various reasons. And in fact, the Freddy doll that did get produced wasn't even the Freddy doll Mel originally created. It's a long and fascinating story, and I fully encourage you to head over to his blog to read all about it. But tonight I just want to quickly sum up the story, as well as show off some awesome images of the figures we almost had in our lives.

So here's an abridged version of the rise and fall of MAXx FX!

Mel's original idea for the line was called "Max Miracle, Master Of Make-Up & Special Effects", which was eventually shortened to MAXx FX. The concept was simple; take a fully articulated GI Joe style action figure and package him with snap on alliances that allow consumers to transform him into a special FX movie monster.

In 1988, Mel began sculpting the figures, an original line-up of seven (above) which included generic monsters like a mummy and a wolf as well as licensed slashers Freddy and Jason. He also created a 'Miracle Productions Movie Van', which was both a storage case and action vehicle for the dolls. It was to essentially be an all in one movie studio, with special sound and lighting effects as well as backdrop scenes that could be changed to put your monster into different environments. The whole idea being to give kids the opportunity to not just make their own monsters, but give them the feeling of making movies with them too.

Here's a little image gallery of the original Freddy & Jason prototypes, which shows them off in greater detail!

After these prototypes were created, along came toy company Matchbox, who quickly bought up the property, wowed by Mel's presentation of the line. It soon became clear to Mel that Matchbox knew nothing of the horror genre, immediately eliminating Freddy and Jason from the line and commissioning him to instead make a whole line of Universal Monsters themed dolls/parts, since that was really the only type of horror movie they knew anything about.

They also acquired the rights to Alien, and Mel went to work creating four entirely new dolls; Frankenstein, Dracula, The Creature From The Black Lagoon & an Alien Xenomorph. Since Mel personally felt the Universal Monsters were no longer all that scary, he decided to put his own spin on the monsters, with his Creature quite clearly inspired by the one seen in The Monster Squad, a film he openly references on the blog.

Rather than upload a bunch of pictures of the dolls, instead hit the play button below to check out a video Mel filmed of the new line of prototypes Matchbox had him make. The end of the video also features appearances by his original Freddy and Jason dolls, which Matchbox wanted nothing to do with!

Before long, it was time for the 1989 Toy Fair, where Matchbox was set to unveil the MAXx FX line, which they did. They showed off several of Mel's designs at the show, including the ones seen in the above video as well as some of his original generic monster designs, and they were even telling people that Freddy and Jason would in fact be a part of the line, presumably because someone informed them that those characters were hot commodities that would make them money. They even unveiled a 'Special FX Theater' playset, which was essentially the van idea only without the van.

Here's another awesome little vintage video, which Matchbox showed at Toy Fair '89!

Unfortunately, none of what you just saw ever came to fruition.

Matchbox eventually for whatever reason decided to do away with all of it, and instead release the Freddy Krueger MAXx FX doll we all know, made of a much cheaper quality as Mel's prototype and looking a lot less badass. On the back of the package was an advertisement for the full line, which was to consist also of Dracula, Frankenstein & 'The Alien', though none of those other three ever actually made it to market. Why? Because Matchbox right around the same time decided to release a talking Freddy doll, which pissed parents off to the point that they just threw the whole damn MAXx FX line right out the goddamn window to avoid any further negative attention.

And thus, a watered down version of Mel's original Freddy forever remains the only figure ever released of this awesome toy line that almost, but not quite, was.

Again, I strongly recommend you head over to Mel's blog The Life and Death of MAXx FX, as it contains the complete story, from his point of view, and features a whole lot more imagery. Enjoy!

Giveaway Time : Win A Limited Edition Wolf Creek T-Shirt From 'It's Only A T-Shirt'!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Tue, 15 May 2012 22:53:00 +0000

I've blogged in the past about Australian based t-shirt company It's Only A T-Shirt, who recently put out a shirt in honor of 1978's Patrick. The company, run by Matt O'Neill, was started to pay wearable tribute to some of the finest in cult Aussie cinema, through the release of limited edition t-shirts, featuring original artwork and coming packaged in their own little VHS boxes. Awesome? Yea, I think so.

I talked to Matt a bit after I blogged about his Patrick shirt, which had yet to be released at the time, and Matt promised me right then and there that when his next shirt came out, based on one of my favorite films in recent years, he'd offer one up as a giveaway prize here on the blog. Proving he's a man of his word, Matt recently reached out to me and gave me the go ahead to post the giveaway that he had promised all those months prior. So before we even begin here, I want to give a huge thank you to Matt for sticking to his word!

Unless you didn't read the headline of this post and didn't look at the image at the top of it, then you've by now gathered that It's Only A T-Shirt's second t-shirt release is in honor of 2005's Wolf Creek, for my money one of the finest horror films of the 2000's. Only 300 of the shirts have been made and right here, right now, you've all got the chance to score yourself one absolutely free of charge. And that's no small prize, being that the retail cost of this treasure is more than $50 here in the states. So listen up close!

The shirt is available in either black or white, the choice of which you get being up to you. Whichever you choose, it will come your way nestled inside of the nifty VHS box you see above. So if you want in on this, here's all you've gotta do to enter!

Leave a comment below with your e-mail address, your shirt size (S-2XL), which color shirt you want (black or white), and a brief little sentence or two convincing me that you really do love Wolf Creek as much as I, and that you're the one who deserves this shirt and will rock it with pride.

Deadline for entries is next Tuesday, May 22nd. Good luck to all and be sure to check out It's Only A T-Shirt and go give them a 'like' over on Facebook!

I Dont Think Sam's Gonna Like This Very Much

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Tue, 15 May 2012 22:19:00 +0000

I've seen some pretty ballsy horror DVD cover art ripoffs in my day, but this one that Terry Callen just brought to my attention is without question the most ballsy and blatant of them all. Check out the just released cover art for an upcoming indie flick called Mr. Hush ...

You probably don't even need me to post an image of the art this is a clear ripoff of, but just to refresh your memory, here's the Trick 'r Treat home video art ...

It's almost unbelievable how much of a rip this one is, even when it comes down to small details like one character holding a bat and another holding a knife. Talk about having no shame. It just boggles the mind, doesn't it?

Speaking of boggling the mind, I simply must share these two comments the photo received on the Mr. Hush Facebook wall earlier today, from supporters of the film who have clearly slid their proverbial buttholes so far down the director's proverbial dick that they can't admit the obvious ...

Yea, nothing like it at all. And Re-Animator's Dr. Hill looks nothing like John Kerry either. Mhmm.

Now I wouldn't be a very good journalist (can I even call myself one?), if I just left it at this and ended the post here. I always like to give everyone a chance to defend themselves whenever everyone else on the internet is bashing them (I'm kind of an unfunny and unattractive Daniel Tosh in that sense), so I reached out to the makers of Mr. Hush earlier today and posed a simple question; 'What's the deal with this art? Why such a blatant ripoff?'. Here's the reply I received ...

So I guess the moral of the story here is, let's not take all this out on the film or the filmmakers. If what they say is true, and I believe that it is, then they're not at fault here. Though I am a bit confused as to why they like "the concept they came up with". That's a bit like me dressing up as Jason Voorhees and saying I designed the look myself, is it not?

Anyways, Mr. Hush hits home video on August 7th. Who knows, maybe it doesn't suck as much as Stephen Geoffreys on the set of a gay porn shoot...

10 Awesome Fake Criterion Covers!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Tue, 15 May 2012 03:06:00 +0000

It's become a bit of a widespread hobby amongst artists in the last few years to create 'Fake Criterion Covers', their renditions of what the cover arts of their favorite films might look like if they were released by The Criterion Collection, the classy home video distribution label that specializes in selling high class releases of "important classic and contemporary films". Sometimes artists create covers for films that very likely could be released under the Criterion banner at some point down the road, other times they just have fun imagining what it'd be like if crappy flicks were given the Criterion treatment.

Tonight, we take a look at 10 awesome fake Criterion covers for horror films both exceptional and unremarkable, 99.99% of which were taken from the incredible blog Fake Criterions, which of course is all about posting different covers artists have whipped up and sent their way. So please do check out that site when you're done looking at these, as they've got pages and pages full of more awesomeness.

^ LOL ^

^ Coffin. Vagina. Brilliant. ^

So, have any horror flicks actually ever been given the Criterion treatment? While most of the ones that have are hard to classify as strictly horror, films such as Silence Of The Lambs, The Vanishing, Straw Dogs & Videodrome have seen release under the label!

Evil Treats - These Aint Your Momma's Cupcakes!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Mon, 14 May 2012 22:40:00 +0000

A few weeks back, I received an e-mail from a reader by the name of Collin, who said his friend Courtney had recently started a horror themed cupcake company called Evil Treats. Damn, that was a lot of C's. Collin Courtney Cupcake Company, say that 5 times fast!

Anyways, he was wondering if I would like him to put me in touch with Courtney, who would possibly be up for sending some treats my way for review. Being that all I ever really get to review around here is movies, action figures and things of that sort, my dimply cupcake loving ass lit up at such a thought. I never thought starting a horror blog would ever afford me the opportunity to eat some tasty cupcakes, and you bet your ass I wanted me some tasty cupcakes. It's a tough job, but somebody's gotta taste these things and determine if they're good for the horror fan masses, I figured!

A few e-mail exchanges later and the above package of four Evil Treats arrived on my doorstep this past weekend, which was of course quickly consumed by yours truly. Tonight, I'm here to report the findings of my ever so refined taste buds, which admittedly have been badly scorched a few too many times from overheated Hot Pocket filling. But first, a little bit of information about the company!

Evil Treats was started by self taught baker/horror fan Courtney Flynn just this past October, with a pretty simple company aim; make delicious cupcakes and other confections with a horror twist, not just around Halloween time but all year round. Based out of Syracuse, NY, Courtney has already whipped up her unique brand of cupcakes for various horror film festivals, roller derby games and other similar events where people in attendance would dig the idea of feasting on morbid looking cupcakes. And boy do people ever seem to dig on Courtney's treats. She says the company 'blew up over night' and she's currently got a whole lot of business coming her way, including plans to vend at upcoming east coast horror conventions and even a gig making cupcakes for Kane Hodder himself. What's good for Jason is good for the rest of us, says I.

Now that the getting to know you business is out of the way, let's dig into some cupcakes. Here's a closer look at the four pack of tasty cupcakes Courtney whipped up for me and sent my way. Be jealous, be very jealous.

This first one is your traditional chocolate cupcake with vanilla buttercream frosting ... traditional aside from the blood splattered all over top of it!

Courtney calls this the 'Brain Hemorrhage Cupcake'; a pink vanilla cupcake with pink buttercream brain frosting and a cherry 'brain hemorrhage' on the inside.

These popcorn flavored cupcakes, with an edible spider decoration on top, were created for a screening of the film Popcorn (how apropos!). The popcorn cupcake has a salted buttercream frosting and marshmallow popcorn on top.

And finally, the Freddy cupcake, a red and green vanilla swirl cupcake with chocolate frosting and edible razor fingers bursting through the surface (at least, I hope they were edible...). My apologies to this cupcake for taking a photo of it without its little skirt on, but I simply had to show off the kickass sweater swirls! #cupcakeporn

Now I guess the moment of truth here in this post is right here right now, when I share my thoughts on how the cupcakes tasted. It's plain to see that they look awesome, and totally live up to the name and idea of the company, but how do they stack up in the taste department?

Well, I'm no food critic by any means, but as a dude who loves cupcakes and has eaten more than his fair share over the years, both made from scratch and from the box, I gotta say, these are damn fine cupcakes. The two qualities I personally look for when it comes to cupcakes are a moist cake and a delicious frosting, both qualities that these Evil Treats deliver on in spades. The cakes themselves are incredibly moist and tasty and the frostings are absolutely delicious. Frosting can make or break a cupcake for me and Courtney quite obviously doesn't scoop hers from a Duncan Hines tub of factory made frosting. Her frostings are fluffy, creamy and off the charts good. Oh and as for that uniquely flavored popcorn cupcake, I'm happy to report that it totally does taste like Courtney magically transformed a bucket of popcorn into a cupcake. Yum yum!

I made quick work of all four of the cupcakes and now that I've gotten the full Evil Treats experience, I feel comfortable slapping the illustrious (but not really..) Freddy In Space Seal Of Approval all over these delicious confections. Again, I'm no Florian Bellanger here, but I know what I like and I for damn sure like and approve of these cupcakes.

So, how can you get a hold of your own Evil Treats? Being that the company is entirely internet based at the moment, you can literally have Courtney send her concoctions to you anywhere in the country. There is an Evil Treats Etsy shop that currently has all sorts of chocolate treats up for sale, including brains and even dentures, and if it's cupcakes you're looking for, you can drop Courtney an e-mail at EVILTREATS666@YAHOO.COM. Tell her Freddy In Space sent you and give her a list of the cupcakes you want to try, be it ones you see above or even custom requests, and she'll be happy to hook ya up. If you're looking for any horror themed cupcakes or desserts for absolutely any occasion, whether it's just a few for yourself or oodles for an event, make Evil Treats your one stop shop!

Oh and if you're thinking it's a little weird to eat cupcakes that have been shipped to you, I assure you that I had the same sort of feelings, but that you're in good hands here. Courtney takes a lot of care in getting these out to people, not only when it comes to packaging them to ensure they arrive looking pretty, but also that they arrive as quickly as possible, so they're as fresh as can be when they get to you. So get over it and be happy that you live in a time where your lazy ass can get cupcakes shipped right to your doorstep!!

You can see more and learn more over on the Evil Treats Facebook page, as well as on Twitter & Tumblr.

Courtney, thank you so much for the cupcakes and for the kickass t-shirt, which I will rock with pride. Keep on doing what you're doing!!

Why Have A Civilization If We're No Longer Interested In Being Civilized?

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Mon, 14 May 2012 04:55:00 +0000

After a fairly romantic day today with Jen, where we biked around town and got lunch and ice cream together, we sat down to pick out a movie and she suggested we watch something romantic, "like The Vow." I passed by God Bless America on VUDU and offered that up as my pick instead, and played the trailer in an effort to convince her to come over to the dark side. About halfway through the trailer, Jen confirmed my choice to spend the rest of my life with her and only her, as she excitedly told me to turn off the trailer and turn on the movie, clearly as into the idea of the film as I. That's my girl.

To briefly sum up the plot here, God Bless America is about a guy named Frank (played by Bill Murray's brother Joel!), who has just lost his job for idiotic reasons, has just been diagnosed with a terminal illness, and is entirely fed up with humanity as a whole. One night, he decides to put a gun in his mouth and end it all. But as he's got the gun in his mouth, he's watching a reality TV show about a young girl who's just turned 16, and has been given a brand new Lexus by her parents. Bitch wanted an Escalade, so she breaks down and throws a hissy fit. Lest you think this is just an exaggeration of reality TV shows, I assure you this exact scenario is taken from an actual show.

Anyways. In that moment, gun in his mouth, Frank decides that he's got one more thing left to do before he ends his life; rip the silver spoon out of that bitches ass and paint the walls with her brain matter. In doing so, he earns the admiration of a young girl who shares in his hatred of the prissy princess and of society at large, and the two set out on a Natural Born Killers style road trip crime spree, correcting society one bullet at a time.

Now this obviously isn't a horror movie so I'm not exactly going to review it, but I just wanted to let anyone who is on the fence about this one know that it's totally worth the On Demand rental. God Bless America is essentially Falling Down for today's generation of pissed off miserable fucks who every day want to stand on the top floor of the tallest building in town and scream out, "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!!". Well, either that or stand atop that same building with a sniper rifle, picking off bratty kids who'd rather text on cell phones than play outside, people who talk in movie theaters, reality TV stars, gay bashers, and all the intolerant and cruel assholes we all cross paths with on a daily basis. If you're the one in that situation who'd have the little red dot on your forehead, you're not gonna like this movie. But if you're the one holding the gun, you are gonna relate to this one in a big big way. In the immortal words of Ashley J. Williams, I'm the guy with the gun.

God Bless America is one of the ballsiest and darkest comedies I've ever seen (leave it to Bobcat!), beginning with a bloody shotgun blast to a crying infant and never for a second lacking in any commitment to its harsh criticism of American culture, from the little things like the annoying fuckers who park in two spots to the bigger issues like human cruelty towards the weak members of our society and the lack of acceptance towards people who don't think and act like 'God' allegedly wants them to. God Bless America takes an obviously over the top approach to this criticism of our culture, arming its 'hero' with a handgun, but if I can quote yet another movie character here at the end of this paragraph, "When wanting people to listen, you can't just tap them on the shoulder anymore. You have to hit them with a sledgehammer. Then you'll notice you've got their strict attention." Goldthwait clearly had a serious message to get across here, and he bravely bashes in many brains in order to do so. Though it takes shooting a baby point blank in the face with a shotgun to convey that message, the message is actually quite the contrary to the blood and guts spewed all over the screen; we all need to be just a little bit more kind to one another. It'll go a long way.

I'm always most drawn to movies that I myself feel like I could've written. And by that I don't mean that I think I'm talented enough to do so, I just mean I'm drawn to movies that feel like they've been pulled directly from my own brain. God Bless America is one of those movies. Again, that doesn't mean I want to go around with a gun killing people that piss me off (as much as I sometimes kinda do...), it just means that like Bobcat obviously is, I'm pretty well fed up with the intolerance and hatred that is currently running rampant in America. I don't know what the solution to that growing problem is, or if there even is a solution at this point, but I so respect and admire this film for tackling the issue head on, never wavering in its commitment to speak out against all that's wrong with our society. For that, I absolutely love this movie. And of course Bobcat, who has in recent years shined bright as one of my favorite filmmakers in the game. While so many are making safe generic crap, Bobcat is making true balls to the wall art, which absolutely must be celebrated and supported. (If you haven't seen it yet, please do check out World's Greatest Dad ... AKA the movie where you see Robin Williams' balls).

Point being, if you are fed up with American culture, you NEED to see this movie. I can almost guarantee you will fall in love. It will speak deeply to you and entertain the hell out of you in the process. Can't help but compare it to Cabin In The Woods in a strange sort of way; while that movie held an axe to the throat of horror cinema, this one puts a gun to the head of American society as a whole, both of them effectively killing and bringing about the end of something that needs to stop. Do I think this movie is going to change society on any kind of grand scale? Much the same way I don't quite think Cabin In The Woods will deter unoriginal filmmakers from making unoriginal horror movies, no, I honestly don't. But that's not the point here. The point is that all of us who are sick and tired of the way things are going down are not alone, and it's up to us to fight back and do something about it, in however small of a way we can. If even one person who sees this movie is nicer to another person after seeing it, then I'd say it has done its job.

Just please, don't pick up a gun as a means to help bring about that change. That's certainly not the answer. Start by picking up your Playstation controller, heading over to VUDU, Amazon or whatever On Demand rental service you use, and plopping down the $7 to see this movie.

And in case you're wondering, yes, Jen did find the film to be the perfect end cap to our romantic day. God bless America? Na. God bless that woman!

Vintage Video Of The Week : The Monster Squad Opening Credits ... No, Not THAT Monster Squad!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Sun, 13 May 2012 03:54:00 +0000

When I say the title The Monster Squad, I'm willing to bet that the minds of most horror fans go directly to the fan favorite flick from 1987 about kids battling the Universal Monsters. But before there was that Monster Squad, there was a whole 'nother Monster Squad, a short lived television series that ran for only one season, back in late 1976.

This Monster Squad aired on Saturday mornings on the NBC network and is totally unrelated to the 1987 film, though they both feature an assembly of famous monsters. The basic idea of the show was that the night watchman of a wax museum, who was also a criminology student, accidentally had a little accident one night with his handmade crime fighting machine, which turned the wax figures of Dracula, Frankenstein and The Wolfman into living breathing monsters. Only, they weren't exactly monsters. Since they were brought to life via the use of a crime fighting device, Drac, Frank & Wolfie in this particular show were a band of crime fighting superheros, sort of like the Avengers of the horror world.

The show was created by one of the head writers of the Batman television series, and basically followed the same formula as that show, with the monsters driving around in their monster van and fighting off super villains like 'Ultra Witch' & 'The Astrologer'. Since a Batman ripoff isn't much of a Batman ripoff without a utility belt, each monster was equipped with one, which featured a device that allowed them to communicate with the Charlie to their angels back at the wax museum.

The complete series was released here in the states on DVD back in 2009, though it has since gone out of print and fetches between $50-$100 on sites like Amazon & eBay.

So this weekend, we head back to 1976 for the retro awesome opening credits sequence of the original Monster Squad. If this brings back memories for you, please leave a comment below and share those wonderful memories with me!!

Surprisingly, given how short lived the show was, a whole lot of merchandise was whipped up for it, some which was released and some which never saw the light of day. You can check out all of those goodies over at Plaid Stallions!

Aliens, Ghoulies & Tall Men, Oh My! New Shirts From Fright Rags, Rotten Cotton & House Of Mysterious Secrets!

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Sun, 13 May 2012 03:01:00 +0000

My apologies in advance to your wallet ...

That beauty right there is the upcoming Limited Edition Alien shirt from Fright Rags, which goes on sale next Friday. You can read all of the details here, but the basic gist is that they'll only be up for grabs next weekend, after which they be will sent off to space, never to be seen again. So be sure you're not away from your computer next weekend. Unless you don't like Alien and shit. And who the fuck doesn't like Alien? #chestburst

These two new shirts from Rotten Cotton, Ghoulies & The Beyond, are currently available for purchase, for a mere $14.99 a piece. Now that's one double feature I'd love to double feature. They'll get you in the end ... and in Hell!!

The Tall Man fully endorses this new House Of Mysterious Secrets exclusive, which I'm told will be hitting the shop sometime this weekend. As of right now it's not up there yet, but you can bet your little silver balls that you'll soon be able to get your mittens on one. And if you head over to my buddy Tom Bryce's blog Shit Movie Fest, between now and June 1st, you can enter to win this very shirt in one of his many currently running giveaways. Cause he's nice like that.

Goddamn is it a good time to be a horror fan who likes to wear cool shirts or what?!

The Freddy In Space Jukebox : Murderdolls - Love At First Fright

noreply@blogger.com (Johnny) — Fri, 11 May 2012 03:56:00 +0000

It's time once again to toss some coins into the Freddy In Space Jukebox, the only Jukebox that spins all songs based on horror movies, all the mother lovin' time!

Tonight we've got one of my personal favorites, a nice jam from horror punk band Murderdolls titled 'Love At First Fright'. Though the title doesn't exactly spell out what movie the song is based on, it's immediately clear once you begin listening that the song is a love letter to Regan Theresa MacNeil, everyone's favorite underage demon from The Exorcist. And who the hell doesn't love her and her rug pissing ways?!

'Love At First Fright' was featured on Murderdolls' 2002 debut album, Beyond The Valley Of The Murderdolls.

Give the song a listen and follow along with the lyrics below!!

When I saw you piss on the rug, my heart fluttered
And I knew it was love, true love
All the things you said and did to your mom
I knew you were the only one, the only one for me

[pre-chorus]
Go and call the priest so he can exorcize me
Be my ghoul tonight…

[chorus]
Regan it was love at first fright, first fright
Love at first fright, first fright
Regan it was love at first fright, first fright
Love at first fright, first fright

I’d love it if you’d spin your head for me
Or vomit a beautiful pea soup green,
So beautifully

Across your stomach it said “HELP ME”
I gotta know will you marry me
Captain Howdy

[(pre-chorus, chorus) x2]

When I saw you piss on the rug,
My heart fluttered
And I knew it was love, true love
And on your stomach it says “HELP ME”
I gotta know will you marry me, Captain Howdy