Frank's Big Feed

tferriss: The most recommended wireless laser printer (black-and-white) for under $150: http://su.pr/2VfmXi Thanks for all responses!

tferriss — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 16:56:06 -0800

tferriss: The most recommended wireless laser printer (black-and-white) for under $150: http://su.pr/2VfmXi Thanks for all responses!

The Raven (1963)→ Review by justinebaltazar

justinebaltazar — Fri, 25 Dec 2009 18:04:41 -0800

justinebaltazar said:

Grade: A+

I don’t understand why you didn’t like it. This movie is a really fun ride. I loved it when I was a kid. I love it still

Swing Your Lady (1938)→ Review by Sophie Jean Miranda

Sophie Jean Miranda — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:18:20 -0800

Sophie Jean Miranda said:

Grade: B+

I loved this film. First of all I was able to find out who Louis Fazenda really was..she’s at her best in this one.And you just wonder that Hal Wallis knew he was in the money when he married her. And I loved Humphrey Bogart before he developed the snarl that made him famous. The scene where he has to chase all the chickens out of his roadster cracked me up as did the impromptu wrestling match with Fazenda where he has to say “hootie owl”. Also, Penny Singleton who went on to fame by taking up the serial role of Blondie in the Blondie and Dagwood films, here is brunette and who knew she had such a professional, controlled singing voice! That was a pleasant and fun surprise. I loved the song “I’m a Hillbilly from Manhattan.” Someone just doesn’t know a treasure when they find one.

Sophie Jean

Vegas Vampires (2003)→ Review by Tron

Tron — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 05:53:58 -0800

Tron said:

Grade: F

This has GOT to be at the top of my WORST MOVIES OF ALL TIME list, Joining OPEN WATER, IN THE MIX, & JEEPERS CREEPERS. The saddest part about it is that they have the nerve to begin production on a sequel. What Im having a hard time understanding is how five (I repeat FIVE) writers can only come up with this bullsheeeit! My unborn, onconceived child can come up with a better storyline and script than this. Sadly, this movie sold to some desperate film company.

warrenellis: Here in Britain, of course, it’s Thank Fuck We Got Those Weird Jesus Bastards On The Boat Day

warrenellis — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 01:19:42 -0800

warrenellis: Here in Britain, of course, it's Thank Fuck We Got Those Weird Jesus Bastards On The Boat Day

fireland: I’m already 350 pounds, sleeping in my car, and doing a lot of speed. Do I really need to get some kind of special license to be a trucker?

fireland — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 08:59:11 -0800

fireland: I'm already 350 pounds, sleeping in my car, and doing a lot of speed. Do I really need to get some kind of special license to be a trucker?

h_m_m: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091024221545AA8dlif @fshowalter @jtucker

h_m_m — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 05:19:50 -0800

h_m_m: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20091024221545AA8dlif @fshowalter @jtucker

fireland: Hey nerds: 1) Make a blog that’s just pictures of your muscles. 2) Buy a dumptruck to carry all the poon you’re gonna get. 3) And I’m out.

fireland — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 06:51:15 -0800

fireland: Hey nerds: 1) Make a blog that's just pictures of your muscles. 2) Buy a dumptruck to carry all the poon you're gonna get. 3) And I'm out.

amazonmp3: Good & under $5: This new Metric EP is available exclusively at Amazon MP3 and our editors say it’s awesome: http://bit.ly/veDG1

amazonmp3 — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 14:18:11 -0700

amazonmp3: Good & under $5: This new Metric EP is available exclusively at Amazon MP3 and our editors say it's awesome: http://bit.ly/veDG1

Murder, My Sweet (1944)→ Review by Robert

Robert — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 13:00:49 -0700

Robert said:

Grade: A

Fantastic film noir with everything we’ve come to expect. Femme fatales, crooked, self-interested cops, evil doctors, hired goons and a witty detective. Fantastic film for film noir buffs.

Pair of Normals

As Seen On TV — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:01:23 -0700

I’m going to call out the most important film of the decade, and that movie is Paranormal Activity. We’ve still got two movie months left of the 2000’s, but Paranormal Activity crystallizes the decade’s most revealing cultural truth:

White people got boring.

This is a movie where the starring couple seems to have absolutely no defining personalities except for their whiteness. The girl is an English major – which between 1 to 10 on a White scale ranks about an 11. Her defining cute move in the opening of the movie is to play with drum sticks like she’s a cockblocking Joey Kramer from Aerosmith. White girls love to point drum sticks at their boyfriends and say no. It’s like a rock n roll sepulcher. Meanwhile, most of the movie is shot from the eye of her boyfriend, who may have the least qualified job skills to ever hold a camera – he’s a daytrader.

There is literally no effort to distinguish these two Mad Libs from any other (twentysomethings) with (finalcut) making (youtube films) in America. They emote in calibrated bursts, icily studying really fucked up shit in their house with Starbuckian remoteness. A door opens by itself and they are slightly miffed as if their latte were too warm.

All in all, the most racist, stereotypical depiction of white people since Survivor Season One. The ghosts didn’t want her soul. They wanted to crack Kanye West jokes with her.

There was a time when white people were not boring. This magical era was called the 80’s. The heyday of the wisecracking white male action hero (Stallone), or the coked out social climber (Tom Cruise), or a metaphorical combination thereof (Michael J. Fox in Teen Wolf).

No one could kill someone without a one liner Shane Black wrote on an inflated breast, and no depiction of an exciting stock sale could be acted without Oliver Stone‘s post Chinese hooker glow.

For white females actresses, they were the most desirable women in the world with simply no ethnic equivalent. There was simply no studio endorsed African American/Latina answer to a Brooke Shields or or Melanie Griffith or Julia Roberts.* For white males, it was Golden Era of larger than life male personalities in their prime in all their shades: Bruce Willis’s Jersey Blue. Harrison Ford’s Yellow corn-fed shucksiness. Robin William’s Psychedlic Rainbow. Jack Nicholson was so dementedly WASP he wore white make-up in Batman and permanently plastered his entitled smile. White people had personality. It was an era where whiteness was embraced and celebrated to the point that an Austrian with a scary Aryan accent became the defacto roided king of Hollywood.

*Lynda Carter aka Wonder Woman was actually half Mexican, but I didn’t know that until 2007, so she’s disqualified. Also it was through Wikipedia, so it could be bullshit anyway.

It was an era where white people were literally Gods, culminating in the ultimate charismatic white male who ever walked the earth – Ronald Reagan. And then, it was all downhill from there.

Because in the 90’s, white people started getting, well…weird.

They started doing things like shooting themselves (Kurt Cobain) or even worse, singing on stage and cryptically shaking their heads (Eddie Vedder). Shaking for yes? Shaking for no? No one could figure it out. White kids thought that was cool. Grunge was born.

There is a train of thought that in the 90’s black music and culture shifted from cross pollinating pop culture to dominating it, and as a result white culture became more fringe. As the rise of Snoop and Puff Daddy and Will Smith lobbed a grenade into the gentrified pop cityscape, a part of the white audience moved out further to the burbs and started new colonies. Hence the rise of indie films, music, food, or a combination of all three.*

*Moby.

But that kind of thinking is way too smart for me. So I will blame it on one thing:

Nicole Kidman.

A generation of white actors followed in her bland robot footsteps. The 2000’s were dominated by measured, calculated act-o-thons. I call this The Fincher Curve. It peaks at Fight Club in 1999 where Brad Pitt’s Tyler Durden is the de facto most charismatic white male of that decade, and then Fincher gives way to experlty measured performance pieces – Panic Room, Zodiac - and returns to Brad Pitt who is now a quite old man child cradled in the arms of Cate Blanchett’s Oscar statue (great flick btw).

It was as if white people wanted to be boring, ashamed of their excess in the 80’s, mistrustful of the nail that stuck out. White people prophetically were Turning Japanese (I don’t think so).

The most awesome white people in existance were being shunned by their own. Tom Cruise was castigated for being too awesome. Upstart wacko Ben Affleck’s head was too potato shaped, and his sexual infraction too Puerto Rican.* Nic Cage was actually handed the white death sentence: the charge of hamming it. He was having fun on screen, and in the 2000’s, white people do not have fun. In their place, a grim Batman, a deadly serious James Bond, Viggo’s stoic Lord of the Rings, Matt Damon’s smileless Jason Bourne.

*But mostly it was the potato head. White people prefer craniums to be shaped like a UFC fighter’s.

It is as if the white population is suddenly at odds with itself. On one side is a new truly multicultural America, filled with loud mixed people and music and spicy food, Britney & Justin, Pink & Gaga, in a sexualized world of bright clothing and an endlessly repeating 808 track, and everyone is invited to dance. On the other is Radiohead (and you just don’t get it).

As any internet chatboard seems to attest, the only criteria for “credibility” actors is that these actors are not talented, good looking, and funny at the same time. Essentially, they should not be Will Smith.

It seems the coolest white people today are gay, yet when the gay community finally got their shout out in Brokeback Mountain, the two white gay lovers were the most serious, boring gay people ever depicted on film, and to be honest, in actual human history. No proto Gaga or Kylie soundtrack. Just an Equadorian Indian on a xylophone - music I imagine the daytrader boyfriend of Paranormal Activity might try to score his movie to, if Spielberg didn’t put his foot down and smite his ass with a kick into the lens.

I miss Tom Cruise. I miss Nic Cage. I even miss Potato Head. I will go further and say bring back Bruce Willis when he kept cracking jokes about how shitty rap was, except make them clever this time – have Diablo Cody write Die Hard 5. And where the fuck are you Meg Ryan? Your movie relationship with Billy Crystal was trailblazing comparatively in the 80’s – afterall he had a Jewfro. Let my Shia go. It’s time that the non boring white people get out from the large chip Neil Young placed on their shoulder. Seriously, Neil Young sucks.

It’s time for regime change.*

*I’m looking at you, Richard Corliss.

Nature’s Candy

Fireland — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 05:48:21 -0700

My daughter says, “We need to talk.” I sit down and fold my arms and sigh.

She says: “Dad, you know how we got a bunch of peaches yesterday?” I say yeah I guess so, it’s not like I monitor the comings and goings of all the groceries (not true). She whispers: “OK well I ate three peaches.”

I start to get up, assuming this will go the way most of her stories go, i.e., a half-hour plotless stream-of-consciousness Woolf-esque yawnfest. She sits me back down and says: “I mean three whole peaches. Every part.”

My eyes widen in horror. You ate three peach pits, didn’t you! She nods and here come the waterworks. “What’s going to happen to me, Daddy?” she cries.

I tear away from her sweaty little grip. I ask the question.

“Yes!” she shrieks. “Yes I did just drink some water!”

I can’t bear to look at her as I tell her it’s too late, she already watered the seeds. Even now the baby trees are unfurling their tiny leaves in her belly. An hour from now, two at the most, they will burst forth in the grossest, goriest way imaginable. But at least she can die knowing that she’ll be providing her family with fresh, delicious peaches for years to come—absolutely free of charge.

“There must be something we can do!” she wails.

“All we can do is wait,” I say, picking Entertainment Weekly back up and flipping through the pages, pausing for a moment to examine a photograph of Rashida Jones.

warrenellis: Cultural etiquette: “Shut up and get in the back of the fucking van” is only a chat-up line if it’s a woman saying it.

warrenellis — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 06:46:27 -0700

warrenellis: Cultural etiquette: "Shut up and get in the back of the fucking van" is only a chat-up line if it's a woman saying it.

warrenellis: New parental weapon: “Behave yourself or I REALLY WILL shove you in the fucking balloon.”

warrenellis — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 06:30:11 -0700

warrenellis: New parental weapon: "Behave yourself or I REALLY WILL shove you in the fucking balloon."

The Innocents (1961)→ Review by sarah

sarah — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:55:26 -0700

sarah said:

Grade: A+

its scary real scary

Birdhouse Stank Pile No. 008

Fireland — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 03:11:57 -0700

Birdhouse Stank Pile No. 008

amazonmp3: Just FYI, we have virtually all of Mojo Nixon’s music free for a limited time: http://bit.ly/freenixon

amazonmp3 — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 08:56:06 -0700

amazonmp3: Just FYI, we have virtually all of Mojo Nixon's music free for a limited time: http://bit.ly/freenixon

Dear The Spider Who Lives On My Car

Fireland — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 08:14:15 -0700

Why did you decide to live on a car? To make your web? We have a garage and eaves and whatnot seriously like six feet away and there’s plenty of space for spiders to hang out there and just do their thing. Other spiders have done this successfully. But instead you decide to “kick it” in my side mirror and make webs all over the driver’s side door. And so a) your whole construction gets messed up every time I drive around, and b) I get all panicky every time I see you because you’re just a little bit bigger than I’m comfortable with. And I’m sorry, Spider, I’m sorry that I was driving down the freeway and you were all “WTF” as your web blew around and I’m sorry, I’m not proud, but I rolled down the window and plucked at your web to release it from my side mirror, sending you to your doom. I’m sorry for doing that. But then I arrive at my destination and what do I see but YOU, Spider, still hanging on for dear life! And I’m all: Dude, you’ve got the goods. You are a fighter, dude. And I will leave you to your home on my car, Spider. It’s as much yours as it is mine.

Air Force (1943)→ Review by Stephen Holton

Stephen Holton — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 13:07:39 -0700

Stephen Holton said:

Grade: A

I also believe that Frank’s review is also significantly off the mark. Considering the special effects of the time, the model work is rather sophiticated. The mixture of serious events, like the death of Harry Cary’s son, and humor, like the name given to the mascot of “Mr. Moto” is developed rather well. It stands amoung other WWII films such as Humphrey Bogar’s Sahara, and Robert Montgomery’s They Were Expendable. It took until a stellar film like 12 O’clock High to factually deal with the true tole combat inflicts on normal humans in abnormal situations. Yes there is some mellow drama and a bit of race related hatred, it reflects well on the cast, crew and Mr. Hawks. Though I am somewhat biased as a former military security investigator, this film mixes the patriotic fervor with the realities of the time.

I’ve got a new One-Act Business Meeting over at The Denver Egotist today. I hope you like…

Fireland — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 08:25:17 -0700

I’ve got a new One-Act Business Meeting over at The Denver Egotist today. I hope you like it.

- - -

FRANK: Thanks for coming, everyone. Sorry about the last-minute notice.

ANNA: Just tell us who’s fired.

FRANK: No one’s—

KURT: My wife’s pregnant so it better not be me.

MITCH: Your wife is not pregnant.

KURT: She’s—she will be pregnant. Tonight. I can make that happen.

TXTS FRM LST NGHT

txtsfrmlstnght.tumblr.com — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 04:30:25 -0700

(812): The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?

No Country for Old Men (2007)→ Response by Introspective

Introspective — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 00:39:45 -0700

Introspective said:

This movie is the best that I watched recently. The plot is very original and intriguing. I was surprised by the fact that Tommy Lee Jones did nothing during whole movie, he was just appearing here and there, but he didn’t affected development of story at all.

fireland: I did most of the work on my son’s science fair project but c’mon, he learned a lot and we’re producing over 200 pounds of cocaine a day.

fireland — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 06:55:51 -0700

fireland: I did most of the work on my son's science fair project but c'mon, he learned a lot and we're producing over 200 pounds of cocaine a day.

Which Big Stars Had Films That Were Secretly Dumped This Year? | Movieline

www.movieline.com — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 04:44:39 -0700

Here’s a healthy helping of big Hollywood stars who’ve seen their once-anticipated projects dumped into quiet release this year:

Don’t panic, it’s just H1N1

The Old New Thing — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 04:11:06 -0700

The media simply can't resist a good panic story, even when there is no panic to be found.

On the Media interviews sociology professor Eric Klinenberg on what happens when the media ask you to talk about the nonexistent widespread panic over H1N1.

Klinenberg says to the reporter, effectively, "There is no panic." Undaunted by the lack of support for his thesis, the reporter places Klinenberg's remarks on the last page of the story, under the subhead Not Enough Panic?

Read the article to learn about the White House press conference where a reporter repeatedly asks whether the flu outbreak is a bioterrorist attack and won't take No for an answer. Or, my favorite, where one news agency sends out a reporter in a mask and has him cough on people to get their reaction. (The reaction was, basically, "What's up with this guy?") Meanwhile, another news crew spots the guy and interviews him. So you have one news crew interviewing what they think is a man on the street, but is actually another reporter trying to create a story. It's so absurd it's almost art.

fireland: Sure, I’ve been pistol-whipped by a hooker — who hasn’t? It’s the 90s, after all! Wait, what? How long have I been out? Oh god. Oh my god.

fireland — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 11:10:25 -0700

fireland: Sure, I've been pistol-whipped by a hooker -- who hasn't? It's the 90s, after all! Wait, what? How long have I been out? Oh god. Oh my god.

fireland: Dead Murder, Chapter 1: Detective Mike Mikeson drank a drink and then saw something very mysterious and wow my novel is terrible so far.

fireland — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 11:24:33 -0700

fireland: Dead Murder, Chapter 1: Detective Mike Mikeson drank a drink and then saw something very mysterious and wow my novel is terrible so far.

darthvader: Good News: Tarkin on vacation, so Force chokings all around. Bad News: I have to fill out my own personnel replacement forms.

darthvader — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 17:32:15 -0700

darthvader: Good News: Tarkin on vacation, so Force chokings all around. Bad News: I have to fill out my own personnel replacement forms.

Frank’s Twitter Linkblog Feed 2009-09-18 21:33:23

Frank's Twitter Linkblog Feed — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 10:33:23 -0700

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris invented all the colors, except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

chucknorris_ — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 19:09:30 -0700

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris invented all the colors, except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

fireland: Yes, hello, I would like to purchase a wet/dry vac and a cat that looks exactly like our old cat. QUICKLY.

fireland — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 06:37:55 -0700

fireland: Yes, hello, I would like to purchase a wet/dry vac and a cat that looks exactly like our old cat. QUICKLY.

Mike_E: Kanye @ Swayze’s funeral:”I’ll let you get back to ur funeral in a minute, but Michael Jackson had the best death of the year. Just sayin.”

Mike_E — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 20:19:53 -0700

Mike_E: Kanye @ Swayze's funeral:"I'll let you get back to ur funeral in a minute, but Michael Jackson had the best death of the year. Just sayin."

fireland: Dear Redbook, my kidnapper gave me the May issue to pass the time and Mary-Kate’s foreplay tips have been super effective! p.s. help me

fireland — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 10:45:56 -0700

fireland: Dear Redbook, my kidnapper gave me the May issue to pass the time and Mary-Kate’s foreplay tips have been super effective! p.s. help me

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris took a math test and put down “violence” for every answer and got a perfect score. He solves all his problems with violence.

chucknorris_ — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 23:29:18 -0700

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris took a math test and put down "violence" for every answer and got a perfect score. He solves all his problems with violence.

Op-Ed Contributor - A One-Way Ticket to Mars - NYTimes.com

www.nytimes.com — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 06:34:34 -0700

The most challenging impediment to human travel to Mars does not seem to involve the complicated launching, propulsion, guidance or landing technologies but something far more mundane: the radiation emanating from the Sun’s cosmic rays. The shielding necessary to ensure the astronauts do not get a lethal dose of solar radiation on a round trip to Mars may very well make the spacecraft so heavy that the amount of fuel needed becomes prohibitive.

There is, however, a way to surmount this problem while reducing the cost and technical requirements, but it demands that we ask this vexing question: Why are we so interested in bringing the Mars astronauts home again?

Anonymous says FML

FMyLife — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 12:36:54 -0700

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

How to Fix Annoying YouTube Jumpiness in Firefox [Annoyances]

Lifehacker — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 10:08:58 -0700

Ever notice an annoying, persistent lag every ten seconds or so when you're watching a YouTube (or other) video in Firefox? Reader Bernard Sandberg has, and he's written in with a smart about:config that solves the problem for him.

Although Bernard's talking specifically about YouTube, this tweak should help fix any similar jumpiness in Firefox.

Many users, myself included, visit YouTube on an almost daily basis. Ever since Firefox version 2.0 implemented the session restore function, when you are watching a video on YouTube (perhaps on other video sites as well, I haven't really tested that), you may notice a tiny freeze-up of the video every 10 seconds or so. This happens because the session restore is by default set to save all open tabs every 10 seconds. This is especially noticeable if you happen to have a lot of tabs open at once.

The quick fix for this problem, at least for my own sake, is to increase the time between each of the saves performed by session restore. By opening about:config in your Firefox address bar, then typing browser.sessionstore.interval in the filter box, you'll see a value of 10000, which is in milliseconds. (Meaning your session is saved every 10 seconds.) I changed this to 300000, or every 5 minutes, as I don't have the urgent need for tab restoration. If you feel like being more on the safe side, try increasing it to something a bit lower, say 120000, or every 2 minutes.

We did a bit of research, and it looks like Bernard's not alone with his solution. I've experienced this problem plenty in Firefox, so it's great to see a relatively simple solution, even if it does mean sacrificing a bit in the way of up-to-the-minute session saving. If you give it a try, let's hear if it does the trick for you in the comments (assuming you've experienced this problem in the first place).

Home Page

eternal-earthbound-pets.com — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 08:30:56 -0700

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.

WynnLasVegas: Win a trip for 4: airfare, 3 nights in a Fairway Villa, Le Rêve tix, cabana, spa, golf, $1k slot play & more! http://bit.ly/UltimateWynn JB

WynnLasVegas — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 12:59:50 -0700

WynnLasVegas: Win a trip for 4: airfare, 3 nights in a Fairway Villa, Le Rêve tix, cabana, spa, golf, $1k slot play & more! http://bit.ly/UltimateWynn JB

Hulu - Late Night with Jimmy Fallon: Tracy Morgan Meets George Lucas

www.hulu.com — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 07:03:18 -0700

shared from www.hulu.com

WHAT

Fireland — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 05:42:18 -0700

WHAT

For a better understanding of “Total Eclipse of the Heart” (JPEG Image, 792×612 pixels)

Frank Showalter — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 05:15:32 -0700

Not So Fast Food: Burger King Drive-Thru Workers Try To Cheat The Timer System

consumerist.com — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 12:23:44 -0700

If an employee of Burger King or other fast-food drive-throughs ever asks you to back up before pulling forward, they're most likely attempting to re-set the timer sensors so it appears you're being served faster.

From The Files of: OMG

Las Vegas Blog: Steve Friess' VEGAS HAPPENS HERE — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 05:48:09 -0700

Everyone has seen these:

In fact, I mocked those as "claw-for-crap" machines in a post in December about an outing with my niece, Allyson, on Long Island. Here she is with said machine:

Well, last night at the Las Vegas Club Hotel-Casino, I discovered this:

Yes, people! It is as it appears. You give them $2 and you try for your very own 1-1.5-lb lobster! If you catch it, Tinoco's Kitchen at the Las Vegas Club will prepare it for you as you like it. Sides and drinks are extra.

Here's a closer look:

What a concept, right? I took a little video of Enrique Tinoco, the owner, showing me how it works. It's only 30 seconds and here it is:

Tinoco says people catch 4-5 a day. They do seem easier to get a grip on than some stuffed animal, huh?

As it happens, Las Vegas is somehow NOT on the forefront of this gambling cruelty-to-animals concept. It's been around in the lobster-rich regions of the northeast for as far back as 2007 and evidently originated in Japan. Not surprising, animal-rights advocates are appalled, as seen by this piece from South Florida in May.

Meanwhile, here's some dude explaining how this is actually a path to liberation for some lobsters:

And the blogger at SeriousEats.Com last year wrote it up, too. One of his commenters responded: "We have this machine at a bar down the street from us. A couple of the puny lobsters have money rubberbanded to their claw to entice someone to go after them."

If they tried that in Vegas, would they need to get it approved by the Gaming Control Board first?

The Ballad of G.I. Joe from Cha-Ching Pictures, Olivia Wilde, Zach Galifianakis, Alexis Bledel, Billy Crudup, Julianne Moore, FOD Team, Chuck Liddell, Sgt Slaughter, Tony Hale, Laz Alonso, Joey Kern, Henry Rollins, Alan Tudyk, Vinnie Jones, and Josh Simpson - Video

www.funnyordie.com — Tue, 11 Aug 2009 05:45:08 -0700

What do the members of G.I. Joe and Cobra do for fun?

First Draft Twitter No. 001

Fireland — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:17:59 -0700

I don’t really care whether we have a boy or a girl, as long as it has ten fingers and—omg what have you done to him WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIS EYES

» final draft

The Shameless Kiss of Vanity

Fireland — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 04:27:03 -0700

Remember that night when we were in your car (or rather your father’s bright red BMW with an extremely expensive stereo with a — and I am not exaggerating here — an auto-reverse tape deck [which, to the uninitiated, would fucking flip itself over when Side One was done {no I’m not kidding}]) and anyway remember when we were listening to the Disintegration cassette and this was a time in America when terrible goth lyrics like—

I never said I would stay to the end
I knew I would leave you with babies and everything
Screaming like this in the hole of sincerity
Screaming me over and over and over

—would make the car windows fog up and the gear shift get in the way?

wisecamell says FML

FMyLife — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 08:18:29 -0700

Today, I went home with a guy I just met in a bar. I went to the bathroom real quick, and when I came out I was greeted by him with a 12 inch strap-on dildo on his head, and the words "I'm gonna fuck you like a unicorn." FML

Dog Sitter Five Dollar OBO

Fireland — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 06:36:53 -0700

I never said I was the best dog sitter in the neighborhood I just said I was the most affordable. The flyers were pretty clear on this point. So when you fill out your police report or whatever please just do me a favor and mention the flyer which stated, in no uncertain comic sans, that I do not particularly like dogs or understand their ways but I definitely have a big cage in my garage that is lockable. OK? And just because your dog was some kind of freaky dog houdini and figured out how to chew through the lock and run away into the woods and gain his precious freedom doesn’t mean I’m some kind of monster. I mean I’m basically like Abraham Lincoln handing out emancipation. P.S. I know we all know dogs can’t talk but when your dog was about to run into the woods he looked back at me and said — with his eyes — he said with his eyes: You did the right thing. I was meant to run free in the woods. I was never meant to be a slave to that faggy kid next door. We all know this.

Anthony Napolitan Lands The First BMX Double Front-Flip At 2009 X Games

www.totalprosports.com — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 04:41:41 -0700

shared from www.totalprosports.com

Blood Alley (1955)→ Review by Glenn Kirkland

Glenn Kirkland — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 02:40:56 -0700

Glenn Kirkland said:

Grade: A-

Blood Alley, is a very interesting movie. It gets off to a shaky start with Wayne in a Communist prison. He is soon sprung by an unexplained bribe, the presence of a Russian uniform and a gun. But, OK, Wayne is sprung and the movie is going. From there on, the movie is pretty good.

There are some problems, in modern day, with understanding why in 1955 a Chinese village would want to leave China and the movie never explains this. Nor does it explain a few other details. But, it is a good movie.

Wheel of Fortune Fail « FAIL Blog: Pictures and Videos of Owned, Pwnd and Fail Moments

failblog.org — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 05:54:20 -0700

Is Barack Obama An American Citizen? | Heretical Ideas Magazine

www.hereticalideas.com — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 10:27:42 -0700

While traditional adherence to quaint philosophic concepts might make it appear that the evidence overwhelmingly favors the conclusion that Barack Obama is a United States citizen, it is clear that this cannot be the case so long as we don’t pay any attention to the idea that there is an objective reality.

fmysexlife says FML

FMyLife — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 08:33:37 -0700

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

Torn Curtain (1966)→ Review by Mr. Farquhar

Mr. Farquhar — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 08:29:41 -0700

Mr. Farquhar said:

Grade: D

What an excruciatingly boring, poorly acted, poorly written, barely Hitchcockian, visually ugly (have you seen a grayer, drabber color pallette?), horribly dated “Cold War spy thriller.” Yeah, about as thrilling as cutting off your balls and rubbing them all over your face. Deuhrrrrrr!!!!

fireland: Please don’t leave your “back massager” lying around where someone could accidentally sit on it all afternoon. Also, we’re out of batteries.

fireland — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 06:29:42 -0700

fireland: Please don't leave your "back massager" lying around where someone could accidentally sit on it all afternoon. Also, we're out of batteries.

JhonenV: Is this giant Patrick from spongebob hitting on me?? Maybe one of his catchphrases is “I gonna fuck you in your sleep, woman.” Probably.

JhonenV — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 07:57:30 -0700

JhonenV: Is this giant Patrick from spongebob hitting on me?? Maybe one of his catchphrases is "I gonna fuck you in your sleep, woman." Probably.

Google Saves Comics Again!

Bleeding Cool Comic News & Rumors — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 09:07:17 -0700

Let me show you Jim Lee design for today’s Google Doodle, on the home page of Google.com.

Which is nice, sweet, lovely, joyous…. and only the beginning.

Now you can redesign your Google experience to take in all sorts of comics designs, from American Born Chinese to Vertigo to Hulk to Women Of The DC Universe to Spider-Woman to TMNT to Jim Woodring to Jeffrey Brown to Iron Man to… you get the idea.

Google saves comics… again! Mind you, their sponsored San Diego Wi-Fi is a bit choppy…

amazonmp3: Get $4.99 Super Hits collections from Johnny Cash, Sinatra, Van Morrison, and others: http://bit.ly/X4lZC

amazonmp3 — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 08:47:40 -0700

amazonmp3: Get $4.99 Super Hits collections from Johnny Cash, Sinatra, Van Morrison, and others: http://bit.ly/X4lZC

JhonenV: Someone once said to me, “Jhonen…”, then started a loud and painful coughing fit and had to run off. You know what? They were right.

JhonenV — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 07:31:42 -0700

JhonenV: Someone once said to me, "Jhonen...", then started a loud and painful coughing fit and had to run off. You know what? They were right.

401 – What’s On Earth Tonight?

Strange Maps — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 06:06:21 -0700

The first tv images of World War II are about to hit Aldebaran star system, 65 light years [ly] away. If there’s anybody out there alive and with eyes to see it, the barrage of actual and dramatised footage of WW2 will keep them shocked and/or entertained for decades to come. Which is just as well, for they’ll have to wait quite a few years to catch the first episodes of such seminal series as The Twilight Zone and Bonanza (both 1959), just about now hitting the (putative) extraterrestrial biological entities of the Mu Arae area (appr. 50 ly). The Cosby Show, Miami Vice and Night Court (all 1984) should be all the rage on Fomalhaut (25 ly). Meanwhile, the sentient, tv-watching creatures near Alpha Centauri (4.4 ly), our closest extrasolar star, are just recovering from the infamous “wardrobe malfunction” during Janet Jackson and Justin Timberlake’s halftime show during the 2004 Superbowl.

All this is assuming, of course, that the aforementioned extraterrestrials prefer American tv to, say, German Fernsehen. And – this surely is the greater assumption – that our terran television signals are able to penetrate the universe in a way that makes them receivable in the far-flung corners of our galaxy.

Many thanks to Patrick McComb and Wallace J. McLean for sending in this map, found here on Abstruse Goose.

Canadian actor Les Lye, who played many characters on the TV show You Can’t Do That on Television, has passed away.

MetaFilter — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 06:01:47 -0700

Canadian actor Les Lye, who played many characters on the TV show You Can't Do That on Television, among other roles, has passed away. Perhaps Mr. Lye's most famous character was Barth, the cafeteria chef on the show. Someone pour out a bottle of green slime for the man.

JhonenV: Envy me. Today I signed the most incredible knockers I’ve ever seen. Perfect size and heft, and when I said so, the guy giggled adorably.

JhonenV — Wed, 22 Jul 2009 17:43:22 -0700

JhonenV: Envy me. Today I signed the most incredible knockers I've ever seen. Perfect size and heft, and when I said so, the guy giggled adorably.

Death Race

MetaFilter — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 05:52:08 -0700

Death Race (NYT) - for the third year, Pittsfield Vermont has hosted a 10 mile endurance run.
Just 10 miles, endurance? Yes - only 18 of 49 entrants finished (some entrants thought it was too easy this year). The 24 hour race includes having to carry 20% of your body weight in rocks up a steep course, splitting logs, crawling under razor wire. And then it gets rough. Video here. There is also an English version (previously).

Nine Inch Cars

MetaFilter — Fri, 17 Jul 2009 04:24:17 -0700

Last night at the London o2 arena, Gary Numan joined Trent and the gang on stage for an unexpected double bill rendition of Metal and Cars. The crowd went wild....

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris is currently suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

chucknorris_ — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 23:39:34 -0700

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris is currently suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.

NewsBiscuit » Science/Technology » Evolution cannot explain existence of creationists, concedes Dawkins

www.newsbiscuit.com — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 09:00:28 -0700

In a severe blow to the credibility of evolutionary science, biologist Richard Dawkins admitted today that Darwin’s theory of evolution could offer no rational explanation for the continued existence of creationists.

Bueller? | MetaTalk

metatalk.metafilter.com — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 08:59:28 -0700

My favorite thought-piece about Ferris Bueller is the "Fight Club" theory, in which Ferris Bueller, the person, is just a figment of Cameron's imagination, like Tyler Durden, and Sloane is the girl Cameron secretly loves.

fireland: You ever have that dream where you’re having sex with Tim Allen but then it’s not actually a dream and I shouldn’t be talking about this?

fireland — Wed, 15 Jul 2009 07:27:43 -0700

fireland: You ever have that dream where you're having sex with Tim Allen but then it's not actually a dream and I shouldn't be talking about this?

fireland: Will we really see all our old pets in Heaven? Because Carl Feathers was sort of a dick. And he didn’t exactly die of natural causes.

fireland — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 10:06:49 -0700

fireland: Will we really see all our old pets in Heaven? Because Carl Feathers was sort of a dick. And he didn't exactly die of natural causes.

Tosh.0 Presents: Web Redemption — Afro Ninja | Comedy Central Insider Blog

ccinsider.comedycentral.com — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 08:26:12 -0700

Poor Afro-Ninja: Etched in annals of Internet lore for failing to perform a back-flip and plunging face-first into the ground. But behind the afro and numchucks and black track jacket lurks a man — a human being who deserves better than the cards millions of vid viewers have dealt him.

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

chucknorris_ — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 00:43:14 -0700

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in.

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris smokes after sex. Not cigarettes, his penis literally smokes.

chucknorris_ — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 18:47:40 -0700

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris smokes after sex. Not cigarettes, his penis literally smokes.

SlickMap CSS — A Visual Sitemapping Tool for Web Developers [del.icio.us]

A Whole Lotta Nothing — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 08:15:34 -0700

wow. this is a pretty amazing little sitemap/organizational tool

amazonmp3: 7/7 Daily Deal: the brand-new Discovery LP, a side project from members of Vampire Weekend & Ra Ra Riot. Today’s price: $3.99.

amazonmp3 — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 04:11:00 -0700

amazonmp3: 7/7 Daily Deal: the brand-new Discovery LP, a side project from members of Vampire Weekend & Ra Ra Riot. Today's price: $3.99.

What are they smoking?! When scenes call for pot or cocaine, Hollywood turns to stash of faux drugs

www.nydailynews.com — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 09:44:52 -0700

Ever wonder what movie actors are really smoking and snorting when they do a line of coke or lift a joint to their lips?

Lil Jon, Award-Winning Winemaker… ‘We winning awards… Get U Some’…

The Daily Swarm — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 08:03:43 -0700

Scandalist

Lil Jon’s 2006 Central Coast Chardonnay took home a Silver Medal at the 2009 Los Angeles International Wines and Spirits Competition. Interested in the prized vino? Buy some at Little Jonathan Winery’s website.

From his Twitter:

FOR ALL YALL SUKKAS THAT WERE HATING ON MY WINE CHECK THIS OUT!! WE WINNING AWARDS TWITT!!! GET U SOME

Read and comment. From scandalist.thefablife.com.

YouTube - Ninja Scare Prank in Garage

www.youtube.com — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 07:57:44 -0700

amazonmp3: July’s 50 editor-picked $5 albums are up. Bowie, Daft Punk, Coldplay & more. RT w/your faves: http://bit.ly/50for5

amazonmp3 — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:43:26 -0700

amazonmp3: July's 50 editor-picked $5 albums are up. Bowie, Daft Punk, Coldplay & more. RT w/your faves: http://bit.ly/50for5

fireland: Been on hold so long I can’t remember who I called. I have a credit card out and my pants off but that doesn’t really narrow it down much.

fireland — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:08:31 -0700

fireland: Been on hold so long I can't remember who I called. I have a credit card out and my pants off but that doesn't really narrow it down much.

Learning to lie: Early forays

The Old New Thing — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 09:14:47 -0700

Some time ago, I was visiting a family with small children, and I found the two-year-old middle child with a marker in her hand suspiciously close to some fresh marks on the living room couch. The following conversation ensued:

"Who drew on the couch?"

— My older sister.

"Your older sister isn't home."

— The baby.

"The baby can't reach this."

— The dog.

"You don't have a dog."

People Born The Same Year As Michael Jackson

Fireland — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 05:52:53 -0700

Grandmaster Flash
Matt Frewer
Lorenzo Lamas
Jools Holland
Ellen DeGeneres
Ice-T
Mary Chapin Carpenter
Nik Kershaw
Miranda Richardson
Andy Gibb
Rik Mayall
Gary Numan
Sharon Stone
Holly Hunter
Gary Oldman
Alec Baldwin
Kenneth “Babyface” Edmonds
Andie MacDowell
Michelle Pfeiffer
Rick Santorum
Keith Haring
Mitch Albom
Drew Carey
Paul Weller
Neil Finn
Annette Bening
Prince
Keenan Ivory Wayans
Wade Boggs
Jello Biafra
Bruce Campbell
Jennifer Saunders
Kevin Bacon
Michael Flatley
Billy Mays
Thurston Moore
Kate Bush
Marc Cuban
Bill Berry
Bruce Dickinson
Madonna
Angela Bassett
Belinda Carlisle
Steve Guttenberg
Tim Burton
Jeff Foxworthy
Chris Columbus
Orel Hershiser
Joan Jett
Andrea Bocelli
Kevin Sorbo
Michael Madsen
Thomas Dolby
Tim Robbins
Alan Jackson
Viggo Mortensen
Simon Le Bon
Jamie Lee Curtis
Charlene Tilton
George Saunders
Nick Park
Nikki Sixx
Mike Mills
Rickey Henderson
Bebe Neuwirth

Jefferson Bible reveals Founding Father’s view of God, faith - Los Angeles Times

articles.latimes.com — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 07:13:31 -0700

Making good on a promise to a friend to summarize his views on Christianity, Thomas Jefferson set to work with scissors, snipping out every miracle and inconsistency he could find in the New Testament Gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.

Girl Who Does Not Age, Brooke Greenberg Baffles Doctors - ABC News

abcnews.go.com — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 14:32:37 -0700

Brooke Greenberg is the size of an infant, with the mental capacity of a toddler.

She turned 16 in January.

How an Indie Musician can make $19,000 in 10 hours using Twitter | Music Business and Trend-Mongering

mikeking.berkleemusicblogs.com — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 09:35:17 -0700

Great post from Amanda Palmer of the Dresdon Dolls on using online media to connecting directly with fans and make $$$.

Some Came Running (1958)→ Review by Allen

Allen — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 13:38:03 -0700

Allen said:

Grade: F

Are you folks kidding? Took the movie seriously for about 1/2 hour, then my mouth was agape for most of the rest. Talk about stereotypes. The characters are all caricatures. The tortured writer, the floozy with a heart of gold, the ice princess, the hard drinking gambler that fleeces the hick suckers, the venemous sister in law, the small town yokul who thinks he`s a bigshot and pretends his home life is happy, etc etc. The movie flounders like a narwhal brought ashore with the tide unable to get back to the ocean, wriggling and slithering in it`s attempt to find a direction after a promising start.Sinatra with no change of visual expression, same with Hyer for that matter, except for that shadowed seduction scene. Of course she had to feel guilt and shame after having sex with Frankie, after all a 35 year old is still supposed to be a virgin. I know it`s 1958 morals but come on none of this drivel didn`t feel contrived and fresh or original.MacLaine learned from her overacting and produced a much better tramp 10 years later in “Sweet Charity”, yeah she was dumb and cheap and sweet but ANNOYING as hell!I cheered when she took 2 in the back near the end of this fiasco sensing the end of this awful mess was finally within reach{Yeah}.
I guess to sum it up, I loved this crap…………..when the ” the end” words hit the screen.

amazonmp3: 6/22 Daily Deal: Davy, the latest album by @Coconutrcrds. Today’s price: $1.99. http://bit.ly/AMP3

amazonmp3 — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 04:02:16 -0700

amazonmp3: 6/22 Daily Deal: Davy, the latest album by @Coconutrcrds. Today's price: $1.99. http://bit.ly/AMP3

Attack Cardio with Vinnie Jones from Vinnie Jones

www.funnyordie.com — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 13:10:50 -0700

Being attacked won't always help you lose the weight you're looking for, but add a little Vinnie Jones and it will do wonders for you.

Domestic Violence Fail

FAIL Blog: Pictures and Videos of Owned, Pwnd and Fail Moments — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 10:23:24 -0700

Rejected Twitter No. 88

Fireland — Thu, 18 Jun 2009 07:16:13 -0700

Why is my mother on Match.com. Why do her interests include “buffets and leather.” Why was she recommended to me. Why am I emailing her.

warrenellis: For no good reason, I’m wondering if men get erections when they’re waterboarded.

warrenellis — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 05:38:15 -0700

warrenellis: For no good reason, I’m wondering if men get erections when they’re waterboarded.

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris doesn’t ask permission, he grants it.

chucknorris_ — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 02:24:25 -0700

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris doesn't ask permission, he grants it.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon - Video Blogs - Zack Attacks Late Night, Signs On For The Reunion! - Jimmy Fallon’s Video Blog | NBC Official Site

www.latenightwithjimmyfallon.com — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 05:04:16 -0700

Tonight, ~~Mark-Paul Gosselaar~~ Zack Morris was a guest on the show!! Not only is he so ON for the reunion, he sang an old Zack Attack hit "Friends Forever" with The Roots.

Los Angeles - Sounds of the Arcade: A Gamer’s Memories, One Quarter at a Time - LA Daily - LA Weekly

blogs.laweekly.com — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 04:06:29 -0700

My son is home from college, visiting briefly before he goes back for his summer session, so I've been making a concerted effort to cram as much writing as I can into limited working hours each day, so my evenings are free to spend with him and the rest of our family. This weekend, my wife and I took him out to dinner, where I found myself in front of a Centipede arcade machine, drawn there by the unmistakable sound of the player earning an extra guy.

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris does not wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

chucknorris_ — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 10:09:45 -0700

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris does not wear a watch, he decides what time it is.

amazonmp3: 5/30 Daily Deal: Death Cab for Cutie’s The Open Door. Today’s price: 0.99. http://bit.ly/AMP3

amazonmp3 — Sat, 30 May 2009 04:58:34 -0700

amazonmp3: 5/30 Daily Deal: Death Cab for Cutie's The Open Door. Today's price: 0.99. http://bit.ly/AMP3

My Boy Jesus Christ I’m Hanging Up

Fireland — Thu, 28 May 2009 17:03:35 -0700

The wife’s having a baby in maybe like half an hour. In my pocket is a Post-It listing all the people I should call. Mom, work, etc. Also in my pocket is an Excedrin PM and a gas station receipt. On the back of the receipt is the number of a girl I was very extremely in love with for most of high school and part of college. She liked the same albums I did.

I’m killing time in the waiting room and decide to give her a call. FYI we haven’t spoken since Bill Clinton was president and anything seemed possible. She answers and I’m all: Hey there do you still like The Wedding Present? And she instantly knows who it is and as usual says the perfect thing: Oh hi are you still an only child?

I ask her what I should name a kid if I was hypothetically having a kid right now, and she says: Jesus Christ I’m hanging up right now because I still have some self-respect. And I say OK whatever you say and now it’s seven years later and my son comes home from school all crying, saying the kids make fun of his name, and I’m like: Suck it up, junior, nobody ever said this life’d work out the way you thought.

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

chucknorris_ — Wed, 27 May 2009 10:25:57 -0700

chucknorris_: Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Longest craps roll in Las Vegas broken in Atlantic City

Las Vegas News Blog — Wed, 27 May 2009 03:37:12 -0700

Saturday night, almost 20 years to the day, Stanley Fujitake's record for the longest craps roll in history was broken.

On May 28, 1989, Fujitake had his historic craps streak at The California in downtown Las Vegas. He rolled for 3 hours 6 minutes, for 118 rolls and 18 pass line wins.

While there's no record of how much was won at the table, it's estimated to be around $200,000.

This past weekend on May 23, the impossible happened again: Fujitake's record was shattered by Patricia Demauro at the Borgata in Atlantic City. She rolled for 4 hours 18 minutes, for 154 rolls.

Reports say this was her second time playing craps, and she bought in for $100. Almost 4 1/2 hours later, she was done and the Borgata celebrated the historic moment with Dom Perignon, a free meal, and a free suite.

Demauro plans to take her daughter and grandkids to Disneyland with her winnings.

amazonmp3: 5/26 Daily Deal: Grizzly Bear’s brand-new album, Veckatimest. Today’s price: 3.99. http://bit.ly/AMP3

amazonmp3 — Tue, 26 May 2009 05:38:34 -0700

amazonmp3: 5/26 Daily Deal: Grizzly Bear's brand-new album, Veckatimest. Today's price: 3.99. http://bit.ly/AMP3

Cat Free

MetaFilter — Fri, 22 May 2009 10:31:25 -0700

Garfield minus Garfield ― Who would have guessed that when you remove Garfield from the Garfield strips, the result is a comic about schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and the empty desperation of modern life? Cat-free and approved by Jim Davis.
Recent interview with G-G minuser Dan Walsh.

10 Good Things about THE BOOK OF LISTS: HORROR

TCM's Classic Movie Blog — Fri, 22 May 2009 10:30:42 -0700

When I wrote about the forthcoming THE BOOK OF LISTS: HORROR (Harper Collins) last week, I didn’t yet have the book in hand. Yesterday’s mail brought two contributor’s copies and I’m very happy now to be able to appreciate the fruit of my very minimal efforts. The book itself, on a purely physical level, is one [...]

Horror for the casual insomniac

MetaFilter — Fri, 22 May 2009 05:02:54 -0700

Doomed Moviethon exists as an excuse for Richard Schmidt to go on insane, caffeine-fueled horror movie benders and record his impressions as sanity erodes... Could you do 28 Giallos in 60 hours?
Also:
12 Werewolf flicks in 30 hours
13 Argentos in 34 hours
13 films from '76 in 42 hours

Literal Videos

MetaFilter — Fri, 22 May 2009 05:02:48 -0700

A-Ha's Take on Me, but done literally with lyrics changed to describe what was happening in the video, instead of the head-scratcher of a 80s video having nothing to do with the song. Also? A-ha still exists and the lead singer still looks the same. This meme of doing new lyrics to go with old videos is novel, previously people made videos to match the lyrics literally.

#29 80s Night

Stuff White People Like — Fri, 22 May 2009 05:02:32 -0700

If you ever find yourself wanting to take your relationship with white people to the next level, one of the best places to meet a potential partner is at any 80s night event in your local city.

White people cannot get enough of 80s music, partially out of nostalgia, and partially since it was the last time that pop music wasn’t infused with hip-hop or R n’ B stylings. Artists like Joy Division, New Order and Elvis Costello were all pretty well respected and had solid runs at the charts. Also, less respected artists like Wham, Rick Astley and Cameo are still easy for white people to dance to.

If you are in a social situation and wish to turn into one more condusive for romance, you should always ask “does anyone know a club with a good 80s night?” at which point the entire group of white people are likely to invite you to an event.

Late Wednesday night update, when I should be working on the End of Civilization.

Mike Sterling's Progressive Ruin — Fri, 22 May 2009 05:02:27 -0700

1. Just heard a local news broadcast on the radio, stating that the big holiday supply/costume place in our county is experiencing large demand for Supergirl and Poison Ivy ("from the popular Batman series of films") and other superhero costumes from little girls.

2. From Yahoo news:

Why wasn't this the "Daredevil race?" Why? WHY?

Soccer Fail

FAIL Blog: Pictures and Videos of Owned, Pwnd and Fail Moments — Fri, 22 May 2009 05:02:20 -0700

Only A Master of Evil, Doom!

Chris's Invincible Super-Blog — Fri, 22 May 2009 05:01:39 -0700

And now, your Spidey Super Stories Moment of Joy for the evening, continuing the spine-tingling saga of the Star Jaws:

SPIDER-MAN AND DOCTOR DOOM
FIGHTING WITH LIGHTSABERS.

My work here is done.

The pursuit of happiness

dive into mark — Thu, 21 May 2009 08:11:30 -0700

Stop buying stuff you don’t need
Pay off all your credit cards
Get rid of all the stuff that doesn’t fit in your house/apartment (storage lockers, etc.)
Get rid of all the stuff that doesn’t fit on the first floor of your house (attic, garage, etc.)
Get rid of all the stuff that doesn’t fit in one room of your house
Get rid of all the stuff that doesn’t fit in a suitcase
Get rid of all the stuff that doesn’t fit in a backpack
Get rid of the backpack

I’m working on step 4.

1800s Vampire Killing Kit sells for $14,850

Core77 — Thu, 21 May 2009 08:11:25 -0700

Made in America roughly 200 years ago, this authentic Vampire Killing Kit came stocked ready to battle bloodsucking creatures of night with stakes, mirrors, a gun with silver bullets, crosses, a Bible, holy water, candles and garlic. Housed in an American walnut case with crosses carved in the top, it recently sold at auction for $14,850.

via selectism

(more...)

Who’s Been Sleeping in My Bed? (1963)

Frank Showalter — Wed, 13 May 2009 08:06:42 -0700

Grade: D

Synopsis: A psychiatrist’s secretary (Carol Burnett) concocts a scheme involving a fake wedding to help her friend (Elizabeth Montgomery) marry a TV star (Dean Martin) who’s lost faith in marriage.

Who’s Been Sleeping in My Bed is probably most notable as the screen debut for comedienne Carol Burnett, who later achieve fame with her wildly successful variety show. Unfortunately, despite the combined comedic talents of Burnett, Elizabeth Montgomery, and Dean Martin, this film just isn’t funny. At all.

The first half of the film deals with the wives of Dean’s poker buddies, who feel neglected by their husbands and turn to Dean for attention, confusing him with the perfect man he plays on television. This is where the trouble starts. See, none of these women are remotely likable. They all come off as shrilly, nagging and clingy, and you can’t help but sympathize with their husband’s desire to escape to a poker game. That said, the husbands are no catch either, which makes you wonder why the women married them in the first place. MORE »

The Constant Gardener (2005)

Frank Showalter — Thu, 07 May 2009 09:12:00 -0700

Grade: C-

Synopsis: After his activist wife (Rachel Weisz) is killed, a British diplomat (Ralph Fiennes), stationed in Africa, uncovers a conspiracy.

The Constant Gardener is a superbly acted and beautifully shot thriller that’s, unfortunately, devoid of any thrills.

Ralph Fiennes and Rachel Weisz are both excellent in their roles, with believable chemistry between them. Weisz carries the film’s first half, with a performance that, at times, echoes her turn in The Shape of Things (2003), while Fiennes carries the film’s later half with a solid, measured turn that resists the urge to go off the rails.

The location photography is wonderful and goes a long way toward establishing the film’s dusty, hot, atmosphere. Indeed, the Kenyan locales play almost as much of a role as Fiennes or Weisz. MORE »

The Horse Soldiers (1959)

Frank Showalter — Wed, 06 May 2009 12:50:57 -0700

Grade: C-

Synopsis: During the Civil War, a Union Cavalry Colonel (John Wayne) clashes with a pacifist surgeon (William Holden) assigned to his outfit for a raid deep into confederate territory.

Despite the combined talents of director John Ford and stars John Wayne and William Holden, The Horse Soldiers is a disappointment, and if anyone’s to blame, it’s likely Ford.

Wayne and Holden are fine, with Holden doing a great job holding his own against the usually overpowering Wayne. Yet, the film come across as very uneven, with Ford’s usual intimacy and humanity feeling forced instead of organic, and just about the entire supporting cast failing to register opposite the two leads. MORE »

Crank: High Voltage (2009)

Frank Showalter — Tue, 05 May 2009 15:02:36 -0700

Grade: A-

Synopsis: After Chinese mobsters steal his heart (literally), a professional assassin (Jason Statham) finds himself in need of regular jolts of electricity in order to keep his battery-powered replacement working.

Crank: High Voltage is a wonderful satire of modern action films. The opening frames, showcasing an 8-bit shoot’em up video game, foreshadow the film to come, and the following scene, featuring John de Lancie as a TV news anchor, sets the film’s near-perfect tone.

And that’s a big part of what makes Crank: High Voltage so good. It walks the fine line between over-the-top satire and smug, self-referential pomp, but never falters, and never, for a moment, takes itself too seriously. MORE »

Observe and Report (2009)

Frank Showalter — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 15:11:22 -0700

Grade: C-

Synopsis: An unstable mall security guard (Seth Rogen) finds himself threatened by a detective (Ray Liotta) assigned to investigate the case of a flasher who exposed himself to a cosmetics girl (Anna Faris).

Observe and Report is like a mashup of two good movies. In this case, you’ve got a farcical physical comedy in which an overweight mall cop beats up punk kids, dates a drunken cosmetics girl, and tries to become a police officer mixed with a pitch-black comedy about egoism, fascism and the dangers of power. Unfortunately, like most mashups, the result isn’t anywhere near as good as its parts. MORE »

Looking down the strip, from Wynn.

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:04:51 -0700

Date: Sep 3, 2008 4:16 AM
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Social House at Treasure Island.

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:04:46 -0700

Date: Sep 3, 2008 3:02 AM
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Wynn pool.

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:04:39 -0700

Date: Sep 2, 2008 11:04 PM
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One of the Tower Suites pools.

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:04:33 -0700

Date: Sep 2, 2008 11:03 PM
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One of the Tower Suites pools.

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:04:28 -0700

Date: Sep 2, 2008 11:03 PM
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One of the Tower Suites pools.

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:04:24 -0700

Date: Sep 2, 2008 11:03 PM
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Wynn golf course, from The Country Club patio.

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:04:18 -0700

Date: Sep 2, 2008 7:16 PM
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Wynn golf course, from The Country Club patio.

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:04:08 -0700

Date: Sep 2, 2008 7:16 PM
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Wynn Parlor Suite living room.

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:04:01 -0700

Date: Sep 2, 2008 6:33 PM
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Wynn Parlor Suite bathroom.

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:03:53 -0700

Date: Sep 2, 2008 6:33 PM
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Wynn Parlor Suite bathroom.

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 17:03:49 -0700