Let me point out just a couple of the injustices here. One, she’s getting tons of traffic to her blog, which is in turn helping to fund her quest to reach 1,000 pounds. The blog offers nothing more than a chance for men everywhere to watch her gouge on fast food. And for this, she’s raising crazy blog money.

When my mother told me to come up with an original idea to help bring in traffic to my blog, I’m pretty sure this wasn’t what she had in mind. It used to be the only guarantee of getting massive traffic to your site had to involve boobies and kittens (or ideally a mixture of both). I guess now we can add a mountain of flab to the list too.

Secondly, to say nothing of the fact that she is getting the kind of traffic and income stream that I could only dream about, she also has a boyfriend on top of that. A boyfriend. That she met on a plus-sized dating site. Seriously? If that’s plus size, then what’s a size zero, the country of China?

How is it that I can’t even attract mosquitoes if I was covered head to toe in horse poopie, yet Jabba the Hut’s twin sister can get a boyfriend? I see this, and my mind logically concludes that I am somehow more undesirable, repugnant and disgusting than even 200 million year old fossilized dinosaur snot if a whale mountain man-faced hag beast stands a better chance of finding wubsies than I do. Thanks so much ladies, ya really know how to make a guy feel special.

For this however, I blame men. Who is encouraging this behavior but a horde of orca loving male perv monkeys? How is it that society tolerates your existence without grinding all you sickos to ashes with a napalm bomb?

Sigh, I can’t read this crap anymore. I’m gonna go have myself a Ho-Ho now.

Related Posts:

• My Blogiversary – Still Kicking It After Three Years! (7)
• Finding My Niche (0)
• Another Milestone Reached (10)
• A Milestone is Reached (0)
• You Big Meanie! (13)

After already having a few traveling adventures under my belt, I realized there were certain obstacles I needed to address, namely, how can I write and blog about my experiences in a fluid manner while it’s still fresh on my mind?  Usually I would get so caught up in exploring my new locale that by the time I got back to the hotel I was too exhausted to even stay awake, much less blog about the day.  Even worse was the exhausting work of uploading my photos, then organizing, captioning and tagging them all.  It’s the sort of thing that can literally take me hours to do.  Time is a luxury I cannot afford to lose during my travels, so this is something I need address before I go off on my next adventure, although that won’t happen until May.

For the time being, I am experimenting with ways I can interweave blogging vignettes I want to write with my day’s activities during my travels, without it being too much of a burden.  One of the ways I’m exploring doing so is by trying out geolocation apps on my iPod, such as Foursquare, Gowalla and Whrrl.  Whrrl comes closest to fulfilling the vision I have for this blog, by offering a way for me to disclose where I am and what I’m doing in a storytelling format, which is then uploaded and presented in the form of a slideshow I can embed onto my blog.  Even better, I can wirelessly upload pictures from my camera (not my camphone mind you, my REAL camera) directly to Whrrl using a special wifi memory card in place of a normal card.  With such a card I can also upload photos directly from my camera to Flickr and Youtube as well.  That… is… AWESOME.  The amount of time I could save would be astronomical.

From there, it’s just a matter of how I want to present it all on my blog.  Do I write about my travel experiences all in one lengthy post, or do I break them down into vignettes that are spread out via separate posts instead?  Something else I will have to experiment with.  In the meantime, let me know what you might prefer.  

Related Posts:

• The Ultimate Blogger’s Toolbox – More than 80 links to tools and resources to help improve your blogging experience (34)
• Lessons learned from vacationing with an iPod (0)
• Finding My Niche (0)
• Thief Thief! (5)
• Ok, I’m pretty sure I got this now (5)

Well I’ll lose an hour of sleep, but at least it won’t get dark at 3 o’ clock in the afternoon anymore, which gives me more time for geocaching!

Sunday also marks the last day I’ll be using this 8 year old computer too.  My spanking new desktop rig should be arriving Monday, when I will then begin the process of migrating all my content over.  Oddly enough despite 8 years of data, I haven’t accumulated much.  It only took me a few minutes to transfer everything I had over to my external hard drive, which I’ll then move again to my new PC.  Wheeeeeeee!

And soon I will have a new GPS addon for my iPod, and a new MacBook too!  Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! 

Seriously, my thinking is I need to get all my out of control spending in now before the dollar completely loses its value.  Amazingly enough, that checks off everything I had on my Blogging Badass Wishlist too, except for a leather jacket and a motorbike, but really let’s not kid ourselves here.  A dweeb like me on a motorbike?  Pffft.  Maybe I’ll just rent one instead.  I could go out and grab a leather jacket though, but I want the girl of my dreams to pick that out for me, which means I won’t be getting that either.

Sorry if I’m being dull today, there’s really not much going on in my life now except for the new computer coming in.  I’m treating it as an investment that will help me get my creative juices going and market my blog, but also finally have fun playing the latest games too.  Mostly I’ll be gaming though. 

Since my money is tied up in getting these new toys, I won’t be able to travel anywhere for a while until May, when I’ll need to take my car in for the 60,000 mile service, and I sure as flipping floopwhocks am NOT gonna get it done here.  The local service centers would probably put the engine in backwards (on purpose) and that would pretty much be the end of my beautiful ride.  So instead, I’m going upstate  to Kingston to get my car serviced there.  Kingston has a service center with an excellent reputation, so if there’s a chance to avoid any headaches and get my baby nicely cleaned up, they’re my best bet.  Afterwards I may head off to attend a major geocaching bash, but it’s a 6 hour drive from there, so I may opt to head to Lake George instead for the weekend.  We’ll see!

Is my life exciting or WHAT? 

Related Posts:

• Help Me Become a Super Righteous Evil Stomping Blogging Badass (18)
• Racing Against the Storm: Day One at Boston (3)
• No Girlfriend = More money for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! (0)
• My 500th Post! And Why I Have The Best Suckiest Job In The World (11)
• Merging the real world with my blog (5)

Have you noticed, whenever you can see the driver, it’s always a woman? Watch the last one too, you just KNOW that was a dude who did it. Awesome.

So anyway, I show it to my male coworker, and we get to a discussion about how women are pretty much the dumbest, worthless, most good for nothing creatures ever.

“God, I seriously hate them, you know? I hate working with them, I hate looking at them, I just HATE them.” I made a spitting motion to the ground.

“I hear ya, how much better would this place be if if it were just us men. Then we’d REALLY be getting things done.”

“A-fracking-men. I am so done with them, seriously.” I looked over and noticed Karen was approaching us (a girl I once crushed on.) Oh crap, she probably overheard us and was going to give us the third-

“Do any of you guys have change for a dollar?”

“Of course, honey!” I ran to my desk and got out some quarters. “Are you getting a soda? They raised it to a dollar twenty-five, so I’ll give you an extra quarter if you need it.”

“Yeah, actually, you don’t mind? I’ll pay you when I get change again.”

“Of course, sweetie, don’t worry about it.” I smiled.

“Thanks, you are such a doll.” She left, and I turned back to my coworker.

“What?”

“You… disgust me.”

Related Posts:

• Whoever said women fall quickly in love was smoking serious crack (27)
• Who needs wimmins… (2)
• What happens when you flirt with American women? (9)
• Walking Like A Man (1)
• Invisible Man, Living in My Invisible Land (19)

But every now and then somebody comes along and says or writes something that just begs for a smackdown by yours truly.  Case in point, a relatively obscure blogger named Tim Challies quotes from a book written by an even more obscure Christian author:

“One of the biggest problems in the church today is the failure of young adult men to value and pursue marriage.”

Apparently the quote is lifted from Phillips’s book, “The Masculine Mandate: God’s Calling to Men,” which is yet another book that purports to tell men how they’re supposed to behave and act using disjointed scriptural references and quotes from pop culture TV shows like Seinfeld.  Or was that “Wild at Heart?”

Challies’ endorsement of this quote would typify the behavior that one finds in the modern metrosexual male.  Like clones of Max Lucado, Challies and Phillips seem to me to be the kind of feminized men who write in pink notebooks and breastfeed their own children.  The perpetually and nauseatingly effeminate manner in which they criticize men for every evil in the world demonstrates that “regeneration” apparently did nothing to divorce their attitude towards men from how the rest of the world perceives us.  Which is, as amphibian bio-waste that needs to be neutralized from existence.

Tim Challies’s quote from Rich Phillips is ironic considering the misogynist overtones of Scripture (not that the verses are in fact misogynistic, it just appears that way) especially in Ecclesiastes.  We are told that for every thousand righteous men, there is only one righteous woman in that same bunch, if even that.  And Solomon would know a thing or two about that, having gone through at least 700 wives.    (Ecclesiastes 7:26-29)

Phillips/Challies appear to be too numbnutted to believe that the failure of a marriage might actually involve two people instead of just the man.  Indeed, it seems to me the primary perpetrators of evil in our increasingly feministic society are women, not men. The divorce courts favor women, while our laws give women special status in almost every aspect of their lives.  Women can also falsely accuse men of rape and destroy their lives with absolutely no risk of consequence.  The entertainment industry also constantly denigrates and insults men at every turn.  How could this relentless bombardment of male bashing not seep into the thinking of even well intentioned women (including Challies)?

And they wonder why men might not value marriage anymore?  Seriously?

Personally, I’ve given up on the idea of marriage or even dating.  I have accepted that there is simply no single woman out there left that is worth my time and aggravation.  The neurosis (teh crazies!!1), the self absorption and the utter sense of supremacy gets old after a while.  Who can find a virtuous woman?  Certainly not I.  As a result, I have admittedly become very bitter about it, but I am slowly learning to accept that Paul was right, I am in fact better off single.  Of course women who see this will say the reason I haven’t found anyone is because I’m bitter, or ugly or otherwise undesirable.  They have absolved and divorced themselves of any accountability in regards to their despicable behavior whatsoever.  It is ALWAYS the man’s fault.  I’m single?  Gotta be my fault and my fault alone.  Women are but darling cherubs of light to which it is nigh on impossible for them to do any wrong.  Right.  And I got two bridges in Brooklyn I’d like to sell you.

Since our supposedly Christian stalwarts of the community appear completely vacuous in their analysis of what ails marriages today, I’ll try to fill in the void with my common sense approach to the matter.

Marriage is a two way street.  It’s not about pleasing yourself, it’s about pleasing your spouse and doing what makes him OR her happy.  Women should not go ahead of their husbands and should let him take the lead.  Men in return should not treat their wives as  doormats but with love and respect, and should not be afraid to make command decisions either.  Each spouse should have their due affection rendered them, whether it comes in wumpsy snugglies or other things.  Let the strength of one complement the weakness of the other.

See?  How fricking hard was that?  It certainly beats the advice of telling men they need to camp out a lot in the wilderness like that schmuck for brains John Eldredge does in his book “Wild at Heart.”  Oy.

Maybe I should write a book myself. 

Related Posts:

• Who needs wimmins… (2)
• Whoever said women fall quickly in love was smoking serious crack (27)
• Lord, Please Destroy 99 Percent of Your Church (6)
• Woman = Catty, Rude, Useless, Lying, Unconstant, Succubus From Hell (21)
• Why Obama Will Win – Hint: It’s Real Wrath of God Type Stuff (24)

This one now allows me to inject songs and playlists into my posts on the fly, straight from Grooveshark.  Me liksey!  Me likesey lotsies!  I think I’ll kick it off with a little Foreigner. 

I wanna know what love IIiiIiIIIiiiiiiiissss!  I want YOOOOU to shoOooOOoOow meeeeEEEeeeeE!!!

Related Posts:

• Plugins Gone Wild! (12)
• Now Taking Song Requests! (9)
• No More Upgrading! ENOUGH ALREADY!!! (4)
• Introducing: The Top 19 Songs of All Time Playlist! (23)
• Nothing Can Quite Put Me in a Murderous Rage The Way Technology Can (2)

Once I got my tax refund, it was time to spend, spend, spendspendspend, all for me, and nobody else but meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Well, maybe Momsie too.

After coming back from Boston, it was time to finally make some much needed upgrades to my home office setup, a project that has at long last been legitimized by the fact that I am actually making some money off this blog now. My 8 year old desktop rig simply wasn’t cutting it anymore, making even the occasional Facebook use an aggravating bang-my-head-against-the-wall experience. My printer also fizzled out, not having printed a streak-free page for at least a year. So it was time… time to order the MOTHER OF ALL DESKTOP PCs, a custom build I put together that includes an Intel i7 CPU, a blistering fast Solid State Drive, the second fastest video card on the market from ATI, and a tower case fashioned with the same materials used to develop weapons for the military. OH YEAH, BABY.

Also placed an order for a new Canon MP990, a multifunction photo printer that scans and copies with the best of ‘em. I opted not to get one that includes a fax since I don’t have a landline, and even then I’d never use it. I can’t wait, as the photo printouts are said to be exceptional.

Finally, I’ll be plunking down for a new MacBook Pro, (if they ever release the new updates that is), and a GPS add-on for my iPod (if they ever get around to releasing that too). With that add-on I’ll be able to geocache, use Navigon for driving, and effectively utilize all the location based apps I have installed to help me find eateries and other points of interest while I get around.

Since I broke my old camera, I’ve also since upgraded with a Canon s90, the best compact digicam around for point and shoots and low-light photos, which seems to be my thing. I love me some night shots.

I am hoping this crazy nuts spending binge will all translate into a better blogging experience, both for me and you, especially with the acquisition of a MacBook. I’ve always wanted to compose music using GarageBand, and I’m hoping to dust off my electronic piano and see if I can’t finally put together some original tunes I can post here for my readers to enjoy, including my personal rendition of Air Supply’s All Out of Love. Tee hee.

On the downside, it also means I’m going to be very poor for a while, and I won’t be able to take another trip anywhere until May. Ah well, there’s always Manhattan in the meantime. I’ve made it here, so I know I can make it anywheeeeeeeeere!

Especially when there’s no female in my life to muck things up for me.

Related Posts:

• Y’all ready for Daylight Savings Time? (0)
• Racing Against the Storm: Day One at Boston (3)
• Off to Beantown in February? (0)
• Help Me Become a Super Righteous Evil Stomping Blogging Badass (18)
• BACK IN BLACK (8)