Daredevil

With misguided direction, an inane script and the bloated inclusion of Elektra the theatrical release of ‘Daredevil’ was lackluster at best. Fortunately for us, a lot of these faults were rectified with the director’s cut which tacks on another 30 minutes onto the running time.

The first thing to notice is this cut’s loyalty to Frank Miller’s comic. The origin story is much more fleshed out and a better sense of the relationship between Matt and his father is shown. We also see a lot of little back stories that were glossed over in the original cut. The struggles Matt has in dealing with his Catholic upbringing along with a clearer depiction of his abilities and the psychological toils that come with having super-senses.

The fighting, especially at the end with Bulls-Eye and Kingpin is a lot bloodier and more intense, which fits in with the overall mood of the cut which in turn has been bumped up to an R-rating. Elektra wasn’t a terrible character, but her inclusion did detract from Daredevil’s story in the original and has been stripped down for this cut. This allows the story to be more dark origin and less romantic action.

Troy

At 2 hours and 45 minutes the original cut of ‘Troy’ dragged on far longer than it needed to. The director’s cut adds 30 minutes of footage, standing at 3 hours and 15 minutes,and ends up feeling shorter than its lighter counterpart. The director’s cut, which Warner Home Video reportedly invested more than $1 million into, contains “over 1,000 cuts” in it.

Among one of the many improvements in the new cut is the violence. Rather than nicks and cuts we get gashes and decapitations. Babies are thrown from ledges and women are raped in the street. None of which is superfluous but justified as a result of the brutality of war. The love scenes are more fully fleshed out, literally, but is done out of the need to deepen relationships which as a whole throughout the movie are much more developed than in the original. Even the musical score, which initially sounded generic and cartoonish gets completely revamped with a new mix that is more emotional and better suited to fit the undertones of the movie. One of the best additions to director’s cut however is the extended sacking of Troy sequence, which felt glossed over in the original cut.

No matter how much recutting and reediting you do it’s still hard to change certain things; among them is the script. The film still has trouble standing up to Homer’s original tale, but this director’s cut does a much better job of communicating this dramatic tale than the theatrical release ever did.

Alien 3

While this “assembly cut” of ‘Alien 3′ isn’t exactly a director’s cut, it’s the closest thing we’re going to get. Due to the insurmountable amount of annoyance and frustration David Fincher had to overcome in dealing with 20th Century Fox it comes as no surprise that he refused to create a director’s cut for the Alien Quadrilogy box set released in 2003. What we are left with is an early cut made for test screenings in late 1992.

Nearly 3/4 of the scenes in the assembly cut contain footage not found in the theatrical release. One of the key differences between the cuts is the use of an ox rather than a dog as the alien host. From there we get a variety of new shots such as Clemens discovering the EEV that Ripley landed in on the beach, the discovery of a dead facehugger which is visually different from those previously seen and the innmates preparing to fight the alien. A lot of plot holes are filled in such as the innmates successfully capturing the alien only to have the psychotic alien worshipping Golic set it free again.

Like ‘Troy’ the film unfortunately still suffers from script troubles, however this assembly cut has allowed Alien 3 to rise from the shame of the Alien series to a worthy addition.

Kingdom of Heaven

Apparently 20th Century Fox doesn’t have much faith in the directors they hire as this is the third movie on this list they’ve meddled with. Ridley Scott’s epic examination of religious conflict originally ran 3 hours and 15 minutes. The studio execs at Fox balked at this run time claiming that “modern” audiences wouldn’t want to watch a movie over 3 hours and ordered Scott to reduce the run time to 2 hours and 25 minutes. Which in turn ended up neutering any sort of character development and left us with what could be best called a misplaced action movie. Fortunately Fox Home Entertainment decided to release the director’s cut of the movie as Scott originally envisioned it.

The overall intelligence of the film is increased with additions to the film including, but not limited to, the revelation that the tormenting priest who Balian kills at the beginning is actually his half-brother, Balian’s combat experience is explained in more detail, and there’s much more blood, gore and violence to go along with the historical accuracy of the battles. And while all the characters are fleshed out more fully it is Eva Green’s Sybilla who benefits the most from this cut with having her character’s role increased significantly.

There I sat as the final scene faded out and Michael Bay’s name popped onto the screen completely spellbound that people were cheering and clapping over the gamut of crap they were just fed. I’m amazed at just how low the audience had set the bar for the sequel to 2007’s ‘Transformers’. When I look at movies like ‘Star Trek’ that succeed on so many fronts I find it hard to believe that these same audiences go into movies like ‘Revenge of the Fallen’ cheering for Sam and Optimus the same way they cheered for Kirk and Spock. Here’s six reasons to avoid Michael Bay’s latest.

Cheap Humor

Humor is the way to the audience’s heart. Make them laugh and you’re bound to at least have an entertaining movie. Everybody knows that ‘Tranformers’ wasn’t a masterpiece, but it definitely had it’s funny moments most of which were carried out by Shia LaBeouf’s Sam Witwicky.  Sam’s humor in this movie is almost completely gone, probably because he’s “grown up” now, and has been passed over to his mother who went from being a nice, relatable mom in the first movie to that of ridiculous caricature. Just when you think she’s stopped with her antics, they keep on coming as she continues to make an ass of herself. Sam’s father, who had such great rapport with his wife in the first film, ends spending a majority of the time running damage control.

At one point in the film Sam points to his arm where he’s drawn a symbol and asks two of the new autobots Mudflap and Skids, who are clearly “black” and voiced by a white guy, if they can read it. They respond with “no, no, we don’t do much reading” giving us yet another example of Michael Bay’s descent signature ethnic stereotyping.

Sam’s roommate Leo proves to be one of the most forced and useless comic reliefs in the film. He had no reason to go along in the journey neither contributing to the plot nor helping Sam reach his goal. And let’s not forget the several cut aways to Sam’s dogs humping each other. Hilarious.

None of the Characters Are Worth Caring For

In ‘Transformers’ we followed Sam as he went through his many firsts such as his first car and girlfriend. These are the types of experiences that people can relate to and make him a character worth watching. This is all counteracted when we hit ‘Revenge’. Sam decides to not take his extra terrestrial transforming car to college claiming that “freshman aren’t allowed to have cars”. From there he hooks up with the first girl who pushes him onto a bed effectively nullifying our sympathies for him when he and Mikaela start getting into arguments.

Speaking of Mikaela, Megan Fox deserves special mention here as her mannequin-esque performance shows that she is actually regressing rather than advancing as an actress. When she’s not keeping her lip gloss fresh in the middle of the desert her character’s dialogue is limited to begging Sam to tell her he loves her and that she’ll never leave him no matter what, almost as if the writers were channeling their inner teenage fantasies into the script.

On top of all this, my suspension of disbelief tends to fly out of the window after I see people tossed around by Herculean robots and never get hurt. Half the falls that Sam takes in this movie should have made him a paraplegic yet he walks away from every one of them without a scratch, except of course for the one time his real life hand injury had to be added into the movie. It’s hard to feel any suspense when you know that every character is impervious to harm.

The New Bots Are Worthless

The second Megatron comes back in the movie he flies off world to meet with his “master” The Fallen, a guy he completely neglected to mention in the first film but can’t go two seconds without talking about him in this movie. This wouldn’t be such a big deal if it weren’t for the fact that when we finally do see The Fallen in action he doesn’t pick up the slack where all his hype left off.

The new bots added to this installment, all 42 of them, serve no purpose aside from being more metal to put on screen. I would have loved to see more of Arcee, the only female robot, and Devastator is nice to see in IMAX but he’s so clunky it looks like he’s going to fall apart. And yes they do show his testicles.

The bots suffer from the same issues as their human counterparts. There’s no development for any of them and as a result, we don’t care when any of them get hurt or die.

The Departed

‘Departed’ is based on the 2002 Hong Kong thriller ‘Infernal Affairs’ about a police officer who goes deep undercover into the “Triad society” while a Triad member simultaneously rises through the ranks of the police department. ‘The Departed’ has almost the exact same storyline as ‘Affairs’ except for the added bonus of an unnecessary love triangle.

You’ve Got Mail

Jimmy Stewart starred in the original 1940 movie, ‘The Shop Around the Corner’, about two gift shop employees who can’t stand each other but are actually falling in love through anonymous mail postings. The movie, which was based on a play (Illatszertar), was remade into a musical in 1949 starring Judy Garland before it was electronically upgraded in 1998 with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

The Maltese Falcon

Humphrey, your Spade is a remake? It’s true, the 1941 classic starring Humphrey Bogart as hard boiled private detective Sam Spade is a remake of the 1931 film of the same title. Originally played by Ricardo Cortez, the 1931 version of the film, which is based on the novels by Dashiell Hammet,  is often aliased as ‘Dangerous Female’ to avoid confusion with Bogart’s version.

Munich

Spielberg’s film about the Israeli government’s retaliation after the 1972 massacre of Israeli Olympic athletes in Munich is a remake of 1986’s made for TV miniseries ‘Sword of Gideon’. Both films are based on the book Vengeance: The True Story of an Israeli Counter-Terrorist Team.

Scarface

The movie that you see a poster of in almost every rapper’s house on ‘Cribs’ is a remake of Howard Hawks’ 1932 classic of the same title. Having to appeal to the MPAA board after having three different cuts all rated ‘X’, the Brian De Palma crime epic, penned by Oliver Stone and starring Al Pacino faced the same issues with censorship as the original version did.

The Nutty Professor

I should have known. The 1996 comedy starring Eddie Murphy about an obese professor that creates a magic weight loss potion is actually a remake of the 1963 Jerry Lewis film of the same name. In the original version the professor’s name is Julius Kelp rather than Sherman Klump, however both version’s kept the same name of Buddy Love for the professor’s alter ego.

The Blob

Starring Steve McQueen, this 1958 horror movie about an ever growing indestructible amorphous mass was remade in 1988 starring Kevin Dillon (yes, Johnny Drama). The original version was pretty much dead in the water in terms of exposure until McQueen garnered some star power from ‘Wanted: Dead or Alive’.

I Am Legend

Will Smith is the third actor to star in an adaptation of the Richard Matheson novel of the same name. Originally adapted in 1964 and starring Vincent Price, ‘The Last Man on Earth’ was partially written by Matheson who unfortunately was unsatisfied with the result of the movie and was credited as “Logan Swanson”. Charlton Heston later stepped up to the plate in 1971 with a remake titled ‘The Omega Man’.

Casino Royale

Released in 1967 and set as a satire of the James Bond franchise, this comedy starring David Niven, Orson Welles and Peter Sellers is loosely based on Ian Fleming’s first James Bond novel. Rather than featuring an up and coming MI6 agent, the original version features Sir James Bond as a retired servant of his majesty. A lot of the plot elements between the two movies are different, however they do both feature Le Chiffre, Vesper Lynd and a casino.

Flubber

Originally made in 1961 based on the  short story “A Situation of Gravity” and starring Fred MacMurray (’Double Indemnity’), ‘The Absent-Minded Professor’ has seen two remakes. The first remake was a TV movie starring Harry Anderson (’Night Court’) the second CGI enhanced version was released in 1997 starring Robin Williams.

Dutch hasn’t lead an easy life, he lived his early days in a poor household in a remote village of Austria and once stated that a highlight of his youth was getting a refrigerator.  Money was not his only issue growing up, as Conan’s father showed extreme favoritism for his older brother, due to a notion that his younger son was a product of an affair (not true).  In order to gain respect from his distant dad he entered the world of sports as a young teen.  At fourteen his football (soccer) coach introduced him to the world of bodybuilding and the rest is history.  By history I mean accruing a net worth of $200 million, although some have speculated upwards of $800 million.

Growing up with action movies, Ahnald was a huge part of my childhood.  His over the top brand of action has seen Mr. Olympia killing bloodthirsty aliens, terraforming mars, wrestling Harrier jets, and terrorizing the future as a cybernetic killing machine.  All the while, he finds the time to spout off some amazing one liners that have become deeply embedded in our culture.  Though his acting will never be recognized during award season, it does have a certain charm that keeps movie goers coming back to the cinema.  More importantly, he has made it a point to constantly get better; The Running Man was a big improvement from his early days.

Since 2003, there has been a void in cinema.  A void that can only be filled by our Austrian friend.  Whether or not you’re a fan of Detective John Kimble’s politics, his governorship will soon be coming to a close.  Once his term is up, some have speculated that he might continue his life in politics and run for the Senate.  I say NAY!  The time is ripe for Arnold’s return to the big screen and here are 7 reasons to back me up.

7. ‘Terminator Salvation’

We’ve already covered why ‘Terminator Salvation’ is terrible.  But I would like to reflect on the good parts of the film, the only good part: Arnold Schwarzenegger.  Arnold was the best thing about ‘Terminator Salvation’ and he technically wasn’t even in the movie.  Upon seeing the midnight showing of ‘Salvation’ there was a buzz of excitement that filled the air.  Fans of all ages waited hours in line to get seats to the hyped sequel, hoping to witness ‘Terminator’ brought back to its glory days of the early 90’s.  After the opening title sequence the energy, which was once abundant, seemed to be leaking out of the theater.  About half way into the flick, it had all but deflated.

Towards the end though, something happened.  I watched as the ever serious John Connor single-handedly infiltrated the machine HQ before hearing a familiar jingle.  The crowd soon erupted into cheers and applause as the camera panned up from bare feet to show us the T-800.  The palpable excitement rushed back into the theater as Connor battled the cybernetic foe.  I believe this huge reaction wasn’t just from seeing a robot, but from watching such a beloved actor come back to life on screen.  People are ready for more Arnold.

6. Health
To put it mildly, Arnold has gotten out of shape.  Although, I think he has more than earned a little rest.  At the age of 22 he was awarded Mr. Universe from there he went on to win the Mr. Olympia competition, the highest award in bodybuilding, seven times.  As Arnold got older he still kept in shape.  For ‘Terminator 3′, he got in peak physical condition besides being 56 years old.  The man really is a machine.

Of course, he has had more important things to do besides spending three hours a day in a gym.  At 61, his physical glory days are behind him.  Arnold could try and prove me wrong, but the last thing I want to see is him in the sad steroid boosted state Stallone is in now.  On the other hand I would hate for him to go Brando on us.  I think there is a happy medium he can find without going to the physical extreme.  Slim down, tone up, nothing too drastic.  Don’t be afraid to show a little age.

5. New Action Stars

During Arnold’s absence from the big screen, a whole new crop of actors have arisen in the action genre.  We now have Statham, The Rock, and Vin.  Even respectable character actors like Matt Damon, Christian Bale, and Robert Downey Jr. are making action blockbusters.  The action movie itself is also changing into a more character driven medium.  Would Arnold have a place in this new world of action?

No matter what role he is given, Arnold does his best to bring excitement and energy to the screen.  I see many veteran actors sleep walk through roles so they can get a paycheck.  I would love to see a boring Jon Voight performance replaced by Arnold.  I am not talking about headlining a self serious action movie (‘Rambo’) or taking roles in a cheap attempt to reclaim former glory (‘Righteous Kill’).   From the grizzled veteran to the wise mentor, there are a plethora of roles in which he would be perfect in.  As long as he accepts his age he will fit in fantastically along side our current crop of actions heroes.

It brings me great joy to see what Hollywood thinks they can get away with when it comes to computer hacking. Usually in the movie the hacker is using some beyond versatile software that allows him or her to easily turn off the city’s power grid or change traffic signals with either a click of a button or a few easy key strokes. Granted, Hollywood has to do this because computer illiterate viewers may not be able to keep up with what’s going on if they aren’t given something easy to follow. Plus, watching someone type out everything via command line could kill the pace of the movie and frankly is not very exciting or compelling to watch. Conversely, there are the times when the hacking is so over the top that you simply can’t turn away from the absurdity. With that said, here’s a retrospective of hacking in film.

Hackers

May very well be the poster child of hacking in movies. While certainly not the first movie to introduce hacking into film, it’s clearly one of the most unique and may be the only film to use viruses as weapons (as shown in the clip below) in a type of digital warfare complete with red cubes flying at the system core to show the amount of damage being done. And let’s not forget the lightning sparking from the servers to illustrate how much they’re being overloaded. From viruses like the “cookie monster” and “Da Vinci” to digital eye patches to flying through a computer system (literally) ”Hackers’ has shown that Hollywood can be completely ignorant on a subject and yet still make it extremely campy and fun.

“HACK THE PLANET!!!”

The Net

‘The Net’ showed audiences how easily Hollywood thinks hacking can allow someone to take over your identity. Sandra Bullock plays an computer analyst who stumbles upon “something she shouldn’t have seen”. From there a group of hackers replaces her identity while simultaneously wreaking havoc and killing anybody in their way by any indirect means possible, such as replacing medical charts that list someone as a diabetic when they’re taken to the ER.

War Games

Look how much fun hacking is!

Got a failing grade in high school? Don’t worry, hacking can fix that, as demonstrated by a young Matthew Broderick in only his second major film role. After changing his grade for the better, Broderick’s character David Lightman decides to get himself some free games by dialing every computer in Sunnyvale, California. Lightman finds a system that doesn’t respond to his pinging and after typing in a few commands leads him to a list of seemingly harmless games. The list of games continue until Lightman finds one he can’t easily access. By getting some help from a fellow hacker Lightman is able to use the “backdoor password” which of course is something as simple to guess as a name, Joshua in this case, and starts a game of “Global Thermonuclear War”. Fun for him behind the computer, not so fun for military officials shitting their pants at NORAD.

The Thirteenth Floor

Talk about bad timing. This virtual reality narrative came out barely two months after ‘The Matrix’ where people had already been wowed by the consequences of taking the red pill. The film was not received well by critics and tanked at the box office, not even being able to make up for its $12 million production budget. But it did offer up one unique item in our lineup: hacking into other people to control their bodies. Sounds similar to the upcoming Nevaldine/Taylor flick Gamer.

Live Free or Die Hard

“It’s called a fire sale because everything must go.” Based on a Wired article, A Farewell to Arms, the fourth movie in the ‘Die Hard’ franchise shows off what happens when hacking is put into the hands of a vengeful security adviser. Press that delete button and you’re entire house is going up in flames. Got a pension plan coming up? Gone. Essentially everything that’s powered by electricity is hackable and let’s not forget the underground cell networks and Kevin Smith’s “Command Center”.

Enemy of the State

Goodbye privacy. A reimagining of ‘The Conversation’ (1974) and similar to ‘Live Free or Die Hard’, the Will Smith thriller exhibits the repercussions of not having Big Brother on your side. While not as ridiculous as ‘Live Free’, it’s pretty close with the inclusion of cameras who’s feeds can be tapped into regardless of their location along with an all powerful satellite that can find you the second you step outside.

The Italian Job

This marks Seth Green’s second foray into hacking, initially seen as a government operative in ‘Enemy of the State’. The remake of the 1969 film features an all tech upgrade with Green, who demands to be called “Napster” claiming that he was the original developer of the file sharing software, as the computer ninja who can do whatever asked no matter how ridiculous. Napster’s hacking software is so advanced it makes Wolfram Alpha look like a child’s toy. Not only can he change traffic signals at will, which is easy as we’ve seen from ‘Hackers’ and ‘Live Free or Die Hard’ but he can actually compare the height three different trucks are off the ground based on data given via video feed. Impressive.

The Lawnmower Man

I'm pure energy!

Coming out during the virtual reality craze in the mid 1990s ‘Lawnmower Man’ doesn’t showcase hacking in the traditional sense. Jobe, the lawnmower man, gets a nice upgrade going from being mentally retarded to pure energy in a computer mainframe. His powers before merging with the mainframe include telekinesis, having mind blowing (literally) cyber sex and torturing young children with lawnmowers in their brains. Post pure energy upgrade, Jobe is able to make all the phones in the world ring simultaneously to signal his rebirth. Below is a clip of how the director envisioned people having cyber sex.

Ghost in the Machine

Similar to ‘Lawnmower Man’, ‘Ghost’ uses the pure energy principle of hacking. When serial killer Karl Hochman is placed in an MRI machine, after being nearly killed by a head-on collision with a truck, a surge caused by an electrical storm causes his consciousness to be transferred into a computer. From there he uses anything electrical at his disposal to take out his victims.

Mission Impossible

The first ‘Mission Impossible’ has one of the most elaborate hacks on this list. Initially we have Emilio Estevez as computer guru for the IMF team lead by Ethan Hunt. Unfortunately Estevez’s character isn’t a good enough hacker to stop the elevator from driving him head first into the ceiling (what the hell were those spike things that came down right before he hit them?). Taking Estevez’s place is disavowed intelligence agent Luther Stickwell played by Ving Rhames. Coupled with another disavowed agent, the team is able to penetrate and hack the CIA.

23

Inspired by a true story, the 1998 German film follows a young hacker named Karl Koch who has an obsession with the number 23 and a curiosity in conspiracy theories that drives him and fellow student David to hack into the global data network. From there, their belief in social injustice pushes them into performing espionage for the KGB. Under the pressure of the KGB, Karl eventually falls prey to cocaine addiction staying awake for days in front of the computer.

]]> http://www.filmroster.com/2009/06/hacking-in-movies/feed/ 2207 http://www.filmroster.com/2009/06/6-reasons-more-horror-movies-should-be-like-drag-me-to-hell/ http://www.filmroster.com/2009/06/6-reasons-more-horror-movies-should-be-like-drag-me-to-hell/#comments Wed, 10 Jun 2009 01:16:18 +0000 Jack http://www.filmroster.com/?p=196 As a fan of horror films I often pause and think to myself: “Why do the theaters get polluted weekly with generic, ham fisted, and worst of all boring horror films?  Is it my fault?  Did I do something to cause this stain of cinematic mediocrity?”.  Yes, I did.  You did too.  Every time you go to the theaters and pay money to see ‘Saw XXXVII’ you are telling the producers, “This is good, give me more.”  The same goes for every time you visit Blockbuster or Netflix and rent the newest throwaway remake.  Even when you go to your favorite film news site and click “after the jump” to see which lucky actor will be playing the new Jason, you are fueling the machine.

It brings me great sadness then to see truly great tales of horror be financially thrown under the rug.  The brilliant Swedish vampire flick ‘Let the Right One In’ grossed under $10 million worldwide despite being adored by critics and fans.  ‘The Host’, another critically acclaimed horror film that was released widely in the U.S., barely made 2 million.  Luckily the rest of the world helped its box office substantially. Unlucky for us, both movies are riding the American remake train, and if history repeats itself they will be mentally neutered features.  These film makers will look at the “bad ass” stuff of the original and try to replicate it despite not having a clue about what actually makes the story tick.

Studios do not hear you when you voice your opinions, when it comes to horror they do not read the reviews, and they definitely don’t give a crap about people bitching about the latest terrible remake on a blog.  Studios only hear the sound of the almighty dollar.  In the case of Sam Raimi’s brilliant new film ‘Drag Me To Hell’, he has given us a megaphone.  The only problem is: are we going to use it?

‘Drag Me To Hell’ is the wet dream of horror movie lovers everywhere.  From blood chilling terror to hysterical comedy to 93% on the Tomatometer, Sam’s new film is the horror movie to beat.  Apparently no one believes me because after being around for two weeks the film has yet to break $25 million.  Pathetic when films of the same genre, such as ‘The Grudge’, have made over $110 million.  ‘Drag Me To Hell’ is still behind such sterling features as ‘Mirrors’, ‘Ghost Ship’, and ‘The Fog’.

If we don’t start supporting good horror films with our money our theaters will continue to be a dumping ground.  I know you are poor, we are all poor.  But now is the time to blow the dust off your wallet, wrench the thing open, pull out $12.50 and pay the box office attendant for what will surely become one of your favorite horror movies in the last ten years. If you’re still not convinced, here’s six reasons it’s worth your money.

6. Michael Bay Didn’t Produce It

Did you ever pay to see ‘The Texas Chainsaw Massacre’, ‘The Amityville Horror’, ‘The Hitcher’, ‘The Unborn’, ‘Friday The 13th’, ‘Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning’, or ‘Pearl Harbor’ and not regret it immediately after leaving the theater?  Neither did I.  Film makers like Michael Bay’s name look great on a trailer for a film that has no bankable stars or notable directors.  People get teased into thinking that these people actually have creative input on the films they are producing.  This is not the case.  All that Bay has to do is start a production company that he has little to no financial stake in, let the studios put his name all over the film in marketing, and receive a cut of the films profits.  Good for him, but bad for all those poor people thinking they were going to get a Michael Bay quality film.

5. Character Development

The first thing to go in a horror movie are characters you care about it. Most frequently, in horror films, people’s humdrum roles consist of dying or padding the run time with cliché dialogue until their stereotype is identified. The slut, jock, nerd, stoner, bro, lovable looser, and the hot foreign chick are nothing more than a plot device so the killer can kill. A director like Sam Raimi knows that to truly scare someone you must turn your stereotypical victims into real flesh and blood people.  They must be people you care about and relate to.  If you turn on the news and discover a group of crazies holding people hostage in Petco, you’re bound to be much more affected if you personally know someone in the store.

Raimi spends ample time developing Alison Lohman and Justin Long.  Alison Lohman’s character, Christine Brown, is instantly relatable in a world dominated by status.  Brown struggles to advance in her job, seeing that only sacrificing her personal values can she become an assistant manager at the bank she works at.  She feels pressure to live up to her boyfriends (Justin Long) parents and she fights off a curse that is so terrifying it would make Eli Roth film kitten documentaries for the rest of his life.  On top of that, she still spouts off one liners that would make Bruce Campbell smirk with devilish glee.  While Justin Long is essentially along for the ride, his presence gives this movie a real heart.  Despite the insanity going on all around them, you are still deeply invested in the relationship these two characters share.  Sam Mendes this ain’t, but Raimi knows it’s the characters peril, not the gore, that will truly disturb the audience.

4. It’s Not A Sequel

People enjoy the familiar, it’s comfortable, you know what is in store.  What goes on in this film, you have never seen in a horror movie before.  Around the time an evil toothless granny was gumming the insides of Alison Lohman’s mouth, I realized I got myself into something truly disturbing.  Studios love sequels because they are easy to market, there are established characters the audience connects to, they can rehash the same story, and there is very little risk for a product they know will sell well.  With little risk, there is little excitement and little pay off for the audience.  It is time for the horror genre to shake things up a bit, try some original ideas and make some mistakes.  They can’t be any worse than ‘The Ring 2’.

8. Jack Ryan

There has been a void in the political action thriller genre that can only be filled by one person. Originally played by Alec Baldwin in ‘The Hunt For Red October’, the politically versatile super patriot Jack Ryan has been seen on screen by the likes of three different actors including Harrison Ford and Ben Affleck. ‘The Sum of All Fears’, which was initially a sequel to ‘Clear and Present Danger’, was rewritten as a prequel starring Ben Affleck to reboot the franchise. Unfortunately the movie was met with mediocre reviews and box office tally.

Hollywood needs more positive political figures in the movies. Take a look at that picture on the right. Who on Capital Hill right now would hold someone to a wall and point a stern finger  to stand up for what’s right for this nation and look that bad ass while doing it? My point exactly. As of right now a reboot of the franchise is potentially in the works tentatively starring Ryan Gosling and directed by Sam Raimi.

7. Conan

The original idea for bringing Conan to the big screen was a series of movies much like the James Bond franchise, conceived by Edward Summer the adaptation would stay true to the original lore of the character. This idea was scrapped however for an original screenplay, ‘Conan The Barbarian’ (1982) written by Oliver Stone (’Platoon’) and John Milius (’Apocalypse Now’), which had little in common with the original story and starred Arnold Schwartzenegger in his break-through role. The film was met with a sequel in 1984, called ‘Conan The Destroyer’, which had even less in common with the original stories. In the late 1990s a third film was conceived called ‘King Conan: Crown of Iron’, however Schwarzenegger’s election in 2003 terminated (heh) any chance of this happening. In 2007 the rights for the franchise were bought by Millenium Films who intend to release a more faithful adaptation in 2010. For a while Brett Ratner of ‘Rush Hour’ fame was attached to direct the project, thankfully he no longer is involved. WWE Wrestler Triple H was rumored to be filling Schwartzenegger’s boots but it’s not an easy task filling in a gap left by Arnold.

6. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

“Lean, Green And On The Screen”, simultaneously the cheesiest and coolest tagline for any child moviegoer in the early 90s. “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” was met with fairly positive reviews and a very impressive box office tally. The sequel, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze”, came out only a year later and was still well received. But, it was the time traveling third film that put the nail in the live-action franchise coffin.

Perhaps  it was the absence of Shredder, Jim Henson’s Creature Shop not doing the animatronics or that the story was lame and felt like a 12 year-old wrote it. Either way it was more than enough to warrant a stop order on more sequels. Flash forward 14 years and we get a new Turtles, movie completely in CGI, which had great art direction but almost zero story and none of the charm and wit that existed in the live-action trilogy. If the Turtles franchise were to be resurrected a marriage between live-action and CGI would be needed, hell we don’t even need a new villain just bring back Shredder.

5. The Matrix

This is an instance where I’m using the term reboot fairly loosely. I don’t actually think, even though I was not a fan of ‘The Matrix Revolutions’, that we need to see the part of the franchise that dealt with Neo again. However, I do feel that there was a lot of opportunity missed in not doing a prequel as the second movie  in the trilogy and then condensing ‘The Matrix Reloaded’ and ‘The Matrix Revolutions’ together to make the third movie.

When I first watched ‘The Animatrix’ I began to wonder how socially acceptable it was that the Asian girl from ‘Flight of the Osiris’  was turning me on during that kung-fu sequence. Immediately after that though I wondered why ‘The Second Renaissance’, the first part of which was actually based on a comic written by the Wachowskis called Bits and Pieces of Information, was not made into a full length movie. It’s a compelling story about how humanity as we know it became the architects of our own destruction which in turn led directly to the inception of The Matrix.

4. Superman

I had such high hopes when I heard that ‘Superman Returns’ was being made and by none other than Bryan Singer who at the time was on a superhero hot streak having just come off ‘X2′ ,but alas it was not meant to be as yet another opportunity for a great Superman movie was passed. ‘Returns’ was not a bad movie by any stretch, it was emotionally complex and visually stunning, but I was never at the edge of my seat nor did I feel the movie made good use of the fact that it was being rebooted.

The first ‘Superman’ movie starring Christopher Reeve did an excellent job establishing the franchise. ‘Superman II’ (which if you haven’t checked out the Richard Donner cut, you should) proved to be bigger and better than the original and brought in a worthy adversary to Superman: General Zod. From there the franchise went downhill with both Superman III and IV. Jump ahead to 2006 and we’re getting the first Superman movie in 19 years.

I can’t wait to see who he battles in this, probably somebody who can go toe to toe with him, somebody who can really give Kal-El a run for his money. Oh, wait, Lex Luthor again?

Perfect.

Rather than introducing a villain that can really challenge Superman, we get him dealing with his emotional issues and with the fact that he now has a son. ‘Returns’ actually does bring up lot of good issues, including the public moving on after his disappearance, Lois being engaged and even having a child are all valid points that needed to be covered Unfortunately this was all there was in the movie aside from him lifting a continent into space and saving an airplane from taking out a stadium. A new movie  doesn’t need to be a slugfest between Supes and some other superpowered titan but how about taking a risk and bringing in someone like Doomsday? I should not have to watch a direct to DVD cartoon movie to see the Man of Steel having it out with someone like Doomsday or Brainiac.

Mark Millar, who authored the original graphic novel for ‘Wanted’ and ‘Kick-Ass’, made a proposal not to long ago for an 8-hour epic trilogy of Superman films starting on Krypton a thousand years ago and ending on Earth with Superman being the last being alive on the planet as the yellow sun turns to red and starts to supernova causing him to lose his powers. Unfortunately the studios seem to be stagnating on anything Superman at the moment so it may be a while before we see the Last Son of Krypton flying around.

3. Highlander

One liners like “THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!” are something lacking in film today. Highlander is an example of an amazing idea that took a turn for the worst. The first movie was decent, it presented not only Christopher Lambert’s ridiculous voice and the fact that no matter how you dress Sean Connery he’s still going to be cool but an idea that is enthralling and brought forth so many types of questions regarding mortality. Who hasn’t sat in their car, on the subway or in the back of the class daydreaming about what it would be like to be immortal? Oh, and better yet, not only are they immortals but when they kill each other, using the heaviest broadswords known to man, they go through this bad ass sequence where they levitate, have lightning bolts shoot from their body and wail loudly as they ingest the other person’s energy. Unfortunately this grand idea never reached its potential and was followed by a series of terrible sequels, however it did spawn off the fairly well received television series. Summit Entertainment announced in 2008 that it will be rebooting the franchise but no exact date of release was given.

2. Alien

The first two Alien movies are some of the best entries in the sci-fi genre. The beautiful thing about science-fiction is that it can combine with any other genre and there aren’t many franchises that have crossed between more than one. ‘Alien’ was a science-fiction/horror movie, directed by Ridley Scott, that followed Ellen Ripley and a small crew aboard a mining ship that gets terrorized by an alien life-form. Followed up with ‘Aliens’ which is science-fiction/action, directed by James Cameron, featured a group of marines, eventually led by Ripley, that investigate a planet rampant with aliens. At this point everything was on the up and up for the Alien franchise, until production of the third movie began.

Poor David Fincher, who was making his big budget directorial debut, was brought in very late into the development of the movie. The production seemed doomed from the start having gone through multiple drafts of the screenplay from a variety of writers and having already lost $7 million before Fincher even joined. Early ideas for the film were all over the place, at one point an idea was considered that involved the aliens invading Earth where they would then fuse into a “giant multi-talented monster” that destroys New York City to Ripley and Newt chasing down a mobile alien in a “Blade Runner-esque off world metropolis”.

Eventually the idea of a two-part story that carried a Cold War allegory involving the Weyland-Yutani Corporation, referred to as “The Company” in ‘Aliens’, facing off against a militarily aggressive culture of humans who removed themselves from society became the front runner for production. An early teaser trailer for the film even shows that this storyline. Ripley would have a much smaller role in the third film, with the lead role going to Corporal Hicks from ‘Aliens’ played by Michael Biehn, and would return as a lead in the fourth film which included epic battles involving mass-produced alien warriors created by the exiled Earthlings against those created by The Company.

The studios originally wanted Ridley Scott to direct and demanded the films be shot back to back to lower production costs. Scott, unfortunately, was already tied up with three other films. When the final script ended up being handed in to the president of Fox he hated the idea that Ripley was not a central part of the story. From there the script then went into revision hell. The production continued to spiral over budget with David Fincher having to keep up with studio demands and forfeit any right to his creativity. Allowing us to end up with the heap that we now know as ‘Alien 3′. Alien: Ressurection was written by Buffy the Vampire Slayer scribe Joss Whedon and while it didn’t turn out as bad as ‘Alien 3′ it still wasn’t enough to rescue this dying franchise.

Allegidly Ridley Scott is now toying with the idea of doing an Alien prequel that would effectively reboot the series.

1. Star Wars

Of all the disappointments I have had as a movie goer, none have paralleled the ones I had when Episodes I-III came out. It wasn’t that they were awful, which some of them were, it’s that they didn’t even reach a fraction of the potential that any of them had.

I’m part of the generation that grew up on the original trilogy. As stupid as it sounds, I actually believed that everybody watched Star Wars as a kid, almost as if it were mandated to do so. You could imagine my surprise when I first met someone who had never seen it.  I never bought the toys or wore any Star Wars clothing but the series was always on my mind, it was like a lifestyle to me.  For instance I’d measure time in units of Star Wars movies. School for example would be about the length of the trilogy if I watched it back to back and a trip to my aunt’s house would be about a half of ‘A New Hope’. And who hasn’t wanted to Force choke that kid who wouldn’t shut up in class?

So, like many other fans, I was of course excited when George Lucas announced he was beginning production on a new trilogy. All I could think of was what new technology would allow us to see that we couldn’t before: even more epic space battles, beautiful new worlds and Jedi fights that would surpass anything I could imagine. After ‘The Phantom Menace’ came out (if you haven’t seen the fan made edit ‘The Phantom Edit’, you should), I tried desperately to like it. I kept focusing on the Darth Maul fight at the end trying to block out everything that had happened previous to it. I wondered why Darth Maul had to die so early in the trilogy and kept thinking of how amazing it would have been to see an older Anakin face off against him.

Eventually I came to realize after ‘Attack of the Clones’ that Lucas had lost his creativity. I’m not really sure if he even had much to begin with aside from the concept of The Force and lightsabers. ‘A New Hope’ was good but a lot of it was saved by great editing and Lucas didn’t even direct the ‘Empire Strikes Back’ or ‘Return of the Jedi’. Even things like the planets, each of which apparently can only harbor one type of habitat, were bland. An ice planet, a forest planet, a city planet, a lava planet, a sand planet et cetera. It wasn’t until games like The Force Unleashed came out that I realized what could be done with this franchise when Lucas was removed from the creative process.

What we need is a new trilogy set during the Old Republic, thousands of years before the events of Episode I. No more dealing with Anakin’s family tree and nothing after Episode VI, please. The Old Republic is brimming with stories to mine; you could literally go anywhere with the Jedi lore that you wanted to. Hell, the trailer for the upcoming Old Republic MMO video game looks like a fantastic idea for a movie: armies of Sith and Jedi fighting each other all at once? Count me in. If we could get some of these writers to write a new trilogy sans George Lucas we could really get one of the greatest franchises back on the big screen again.

Remake

Dictionary Definition:

1. to film again, as a picture or screenplay
2. a more recent version of an older film

Wikipedia:

“The term ‘remake’ is generally used in reference to a movie which uses an earlier movie as the main source material, rather than in reference to a second, later movie based on the same source.”

The following movies qualify as remakes:

The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008 and 1951)
War of the Worlds (2005 and 1953)
The Departed (2006) from Infernal Affairs (2002)

Remakes are both a good and a bad thing. While most people, like myself, think that the remade version of a movie usually never stands up to the original, a remake can also shed light on movies and stories that previously would not have been known about. For instance, most people don’t know that 2006’s ‘The Departed’ is actually a remake of the Chinese film ‘Infernal Affairs’ (2002) and that the love triangle between the three lead characters in ‘The Departed’ is actually not featured in the original Chinese film. John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ (1982) is an example of a remake that breathed new life into a previously, at least for recent generations, unknown movie (‘The Thing from Another World’) .

Reboot

Dictionary Definition:

To turn off and then on again; restart.

Wikipedia:

“…a discarding of much or even all previous continuity in the series, to start anew. Effectively, all previously-known fictive history is declared by the writer(s) to be null and void, or at least irrelevant to the current storyline, and the series starts over.”

The following movies qualify as reboots:

Batman Begins (2005)
Casino Royale (2006)
Star Trek (2009)

Rebooting is a great way of breathing life into franchises that have fallen off the map. The movies mentioned above are all parts of previous long running canons that have fizzled out both commercially and artistically. Rather than creating more sequels each series had its slate cleaned, so to speak, so they could start anew.

Reimagining

This one is a bit tougher to define as it is more of a subset of ‘remake’ than a category on its own.

Wikipedia:

“remakes that do not closely follow the original…often contain tongue in cheek references to the original with characters and concepts of the same name, but significantly changed.”

The following movies/series qualify as reimaginings:

Ocean’s 11 (2001 and 1960)
Planet of the Apes (2001 and 1968)
Battlestar Galactica (2004 and 1978)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003 and 1974)

Reimagings, like remakes, allow new audiences to experience ‘modern’ interpretations of old stories and canons. One of the chief differences between a remake and a reimagining is the setting and characters of the story. ‘Scarface’ (1983) is a remake of Howard Hawk’s ‘Scarface’ (1932), both share the same basic plot about an ambitious gangster that climbs the ladder of success in the mob but both have different characters and different settings.

Combinations

There are several movies that fall under multiple categories. I consider The Incredible Hulk (2008) to be both a remake and a reboot. After Ang Lee’s poorly received take on The Hulk in 2003, Universal Pictures decided to scrap everything and start with a new director, writer and cast. However they didn’t start from exactly from the beginning, The Incredible Hulk’s opening sequence gave us a quick synopsis of the origin and dropped us in the middle of the story when Bruce is on the run. It is a remake because it is essentially the same story filmed again and also a reboot as it discarded the previous continuity in the series.

Rob Zombie’s ‘Halloween’ (2007), is another example of a combination, being both a reimagining and a reboot. The original canon of Halloween had been dragged six movies too long and after studios got the hint that making more Halloween sequels wasn’t going to present any positive cash flow they decided to reboot the whole franchise. Zombie’s interpretation qualifies not only as a reboot because of the aforementioned reasons but also as a reimagining. While Zombie followed closely to the original storyline, he spent a lot of time in Michael Myer’s childhood and introduced a lot of characters that were not mentioned in the franchise’s first time around.

Upcoming Remakes, Reboots and Reimaginings

The Taking of Pelham 123
Tony Scott (Top Gun, Days of Thunder, Beverly Hills Cop 2) directs this remake of the 1974 version, starring Walter Matthau, about a group of armed men that hijack a subway car and hold the passengers for ransom in New York City.

The Warriors
Now that Tony Scott is done with Pelham 123, he’s switching coasts and coming back to Los Angeles where he plans to shoot his next remake.

Clash of the Titans (Updated)
A remake of the classic 1981 adaptation of the myth of Perseus, directed by Louis Leterrier (The Incredible Hulk) and starring ‘Terminator Salvation’ and upcoming ‘Avatar’ lead Sam Worthington.

A Nightmare on Elm Street
A reimagining/reboot of the iconic serial-killer will come to theaters next year under the tent of Michael Bay’s production company and starring Jackie Earle Haley (’Watchmen’, ‘Little Children’) as Freddy.

Short Circuit
Goodbye childhood. Dimension Films is putting out a remake of the beloved 1986 sci-fi adventure comedy about a military robot that runs away after developing a conscience and personality. The script is being penned by Robot Chicken scribe Dan Milano.

Dune
Frank Herbert’s popular book series is getting another shot at the big screen with Peter Berg at the helm.

The Evil Dead
Sam Raimi is attached to remake his cult classic film. Here’s hoping that Bruce Campbell is involved in some way.

Trivia: There were two Gort suits in the 1951 version: one that laced up down the back for when he had his front to the camera, another that laced up in the front for the shots of his back.

Terminator Salvation has been the biggest let down of this summer’s blockbuster season. Wolverine wasn’t great either but at least my hopes weren’t set that high for it. I went into Salvation thinking it was going to be the rebirth of a franchise that I so desperately wanted to see come back to life. Instead it was an example of what happens when a movie fails on multiple fronts; it was as if the stars aligned in favor of making this movie terrible. With that said, let’s take a look at what made this movie so terrible. There are spoilers in this, however I’m probably doing you a favor by letting you know what they are so you don’t dish out any money to find out what they are.

9. The Score

When a score is done right it can really propel a movie, it makes you feel as if the movie could not live without those melodies behind it (The Dark Knight, Terminator 2). When a score is done wrong or is lacking in some manner, it feels like that friend that came over uninvited and you can’t wait for them to leave (Iron Man). Danny Elfman’s score unfortunately falls in the latter category. It seems so uninspired and phoned in. I’m not saying that they should have reused the sound track from Terminator 2, but I also didn’t hear much work go into this movie either. Remember, this is the same guy who scored Batman, Edward Scissorhands, Bettlejuice and Spider-Man.

8. Moon Bloodgood didn’t show her assets

Typically I don’t care anymore when an actress takes her top off in a movie, I’m under the “been there, done that” mentality. However by the time we reach the scene where she is supposed to take her shirt off, I was dying for something, anything to breathe some life into this movie and the only thing I could think of at that moment to do that would be a gratuitous display of breasts.

7. Did you really have to show how John Connor gets his scar?

The moment John Connor gets scratched in the face by the T-800 is bittersweet. At first my reaction was nostalgic – remembering that intro scene to Terminator 2 when John Connor brings the binoculars down to reveal a rugged and scarred face (by the way, whatever happened to that actor?) – then I realized what McG had done:  filled in an obvious gap that didn’t need to be pointed out. I felt as if McG was sitting right next to me tapping me on the shoulder trying to gain my attention at how subtle and brilliant he was.

6. Where are the damn laser guns?

If anybody has made it easy to follow his movies it is James Cameron. The first ten minutes of Terminator 2 showed the post-apocalyptic world, it’s almost like a cheat sheet.  And EVERYBODY is shooting lasers at each other, so why in McG’s vision of this post-Judgement Day world is everybody still using bullets?