Female Forum

Do You Have a Bucket List?

2012-02-08T20:51:34+00:00

The 2007 movie “The Bucket List” told the story of two terminally ill men going out into the world with a list of the things they always wanted to see, do, and experience before they died, or ‘kicked the bucket’, and they did many of them. After this movie a lot of people started working on their own Bucket List. Having your own Bucket List will help you pinpoint all the things you want to accomplish in your life.

How to Create Your Bucket List

Just start writing. List all of the things that come to your mind that you’d like to experience before you die. Don’t worry or think about how you will accomplish the things. Just put them on the list. If you find it hard to know what to put on your list, here are some questions that can get your mind going in the right direction:

If you died today, what would be your biggest regret in life?

If the doctor told you that you only had six months to a year left to live, what would you do?

If you won the lottery, what would you do?

What was something you always dreamed about doing when you were a kid?

Who do you admire? What do you admire about them?

If you could have three wishes granted, what would they be?

Where do you want to go?

What do you want to be to the people in your life?

There is no way to write a Bucket List all at once. It will take time. You may come up with 15 or 20 things and then draw a blank. If that happens to you, don’t get discouraged. As life continues, you can go back and add new things to your list. In fact, a Bucket List is probably something that you will never be completely finished. As life evolves, so will your list.

When you write your list, try to target all of the areas in your life. It’s easy to get caught up in listing all of the places you want to visit, but don’t forget other things such as relationships, careers, hobbies, spirituality, health, and all of the other things that make you who you are as an individual. Try to include goals for every area of your life.

When writing down your list, let the sky be the limit. However, be sure to include things in the list that are easy to achieve. If all you list are goals that are going to be difficult or ones that may take years to achieve, you will lose the motivation of the list. Include things that can be done in the near-future. You should also include things that can be done in the here-and-now. Ideas include exercising X amount of times each week, working on ridding your life of a bad habit, taking a new class, or getting rid of your clutter.

In addition to specific goals, include things on your list that are broad. This means things such as “Go out of my way to help a stranger anonymously” or “Make a difference in the life of someone that is old or disabled” or “Make a spontaneous decision that changes my life for the good”. When you set broad goals like this it sets your life up for surprises. You never know when you will be able to cross these things off of your list – life will just have to work it out for you to come across these situations so you can.

One way to get ideas for your own list is to read what other people are putting on their lists. While you probably won’t put down their specific goals, it may spark a goal inside of you that has been lying dormant. There are many different places online that have these kinds of lists created by everyday people. Do a search and you’ll find them.

If you really want to go all out with your Bucket List, make a blog about it. Post your list publicly. Doing so will keep you accountable to your list. Having a list available for others to read will also motivate some of them to start their own lists.

Lastly, having a Bucket List is supposed to be fun, not stressful. It is supposed to help steer you and guide you in the direction you want to go. It is not meant to become a rigid map of life. Have fun creating your list and accomplish as many things on your list as you can, but don’t turn it into work.

Recommended Reading

For more information and ideas on things to do before you die, take a look at the following books:

1001 Things To Do If You Dare
101 Things to Do Before You Die
1,000 Places to See Before You Die

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Dealing with Your Man’s Midlife Crisis

2012-02-08T20:09:06+00:00

If you sense that your man is going through a midlife crisis, keep in mind that all men do not behave dangerously or recklessly or do things to destroy their relationships. Yet, this doesn’t mean these ‘good guys’ don’t struggle with midlife issues. It’s perfectly acceptable for your man to question past decisions and/or to make impulsive changes. As long as he is not doing anything that is harmful, let him learn from past decisions and make changes where he wishes. Here are some things you can deal to help your guy through this challenging time.

Encourage Small Changes

When a man is going through a midlife crisis, he likes change simply because it is something different. If your man seems to have lost interest in things that normally thrilled or interested him – such as hobbies, work, friends, sports, and more – this is a sign that your guy is becoming bored with life. Encourage the small changes you see him learning toward, even if it something as small as trying new foods, watching different kinds of television programs, or wearing a new style of clothing or trying a new hobby. Having the freedom to make changes in these small areas can go a long way in staving off the big changes that some men can make during their midlife crisis that can wreak havoc on a relationship.

Be There and Don’t Fall for the Bait

Sometimes men who are going through midlife crisis seem to turn into fault-finding machines. Nothing anyone says or does is pleasing to them—and that includes you and the things you do, too. While he may seem to be itching for a fight, try not to be fault-finding of him during his mood changes. During this stage in life many men feel emotionally weak and empty, but they want to appear strong. So, try not to take it personal and realize that it is just a symptom of a life adjustment that your partner is making internally. Don’t let it start arguments that will give him a ‘justification’ for behaving more outlandish. Give your man the space he needs to work out his issues, but do verbally let him know that you are there for him if he should ever want to talk or just snuggle.

Have a Relationship Re-Do

Men who are going through a midlife crisis feel the loss of youth and sexual vitality. For some men, this often leads to sexual adventures outside of the relationship. To help affair proof your marriage during this weak time in your husband’s life, do a relationship re-do. This doesn’t mean you scrap everything about your marriage, but do make changes that bring sexual life back into the relationship. Let your sexual inhibitions go and let your husband know you find him sexually attractive. Do things you have never done before like taking your husband to an adults-only weekend getaway, dressing sexy, talking dirty, having sexual encounters in different places at different times of the day than the norm, and more.

With this in mind, you should know that a man going through a midlife crisis may seem to lose interest in sex. This is generally due to a lack of testosterone and other physical issues and it has nothing to do with you or how sexually attracted he is to you. If you think your man falls into this category, don’t put any sexual pressure on him. Be patient with him and let him know through word and deed that you enjoy being around him. Intimacy doesn’t always have to involve sex. Believe it or not, some men just want to be cuddled.

Take Care of You

When your guy is going through a midlife crisis and changes and mood swings seem to be all around, don’t forget to take care of yourself. What your man is going through has nothing to do with you, no matter what he may say. Also, keep in mind that you are more than just your relationship, so do things that keep you feeling good about yourself. If you find that you are getting to a point that you can cope with your husband’s midlife crisis, don’t be afraid to seek out professional help. A midlife crisis can result in depression – not only for the man, but for the female in his life.

Recommended Reading

For more information and advice on midlife crises, take a look at the following books:

Men in Midlife Crisis
Your Husband’s Midlife Crisis
How to Survive Your Husband’s Midlife Crisis

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When Your Business Isn’t Growing

2012-01-18T22:24:49+00:00

If your business is struggling and not growing, there will be a reason why. Sure, it could be due to a poor economy but sometimes businesses struggle because of problems that are not work related. Look over these common problems that can stunt the growth of businesses. If you fall within any of these categories, work to resolve the issues.

Lack of Support

It’s hard to give your all to a new business when those closest to you aren’t supporting you. A partner may be non-supportive if they feel that you becoming an entrepreneur is putting too much financial pressures on the household. If you have children, your partner and extended family may not be supportive of your endeavors if they want you to not work at all and focus your life solely on your children. Whatever the reasons, without the support of the key people in your life, it can be tough to stay focused and grow your business.

To overcome this dilemma, have an honest conversation with the doubters. Explain to them that their lack of support is hindering you from moving forward with your work as you would like. Listen to any concerns they may voice and see if there is a way to solve the issues so everyone is happy. Sometimes this kind of sit-down meeting can clear the air and get the important people in your life behind you.

Toughen Up

If you are overly sensitive to rejection or criticism, being in business for yourself can greatly impact your emotions. While no one likes to hear the word ‘no’ or to be told they could do things in a better way, hearing those things shouldn’t send you into such a depression that you start pulling back from work or stop working altogether.

To be in business for yourself you have to toughen up and detach your personal feelings a bit. Just because someone has a problem or issue with a product or service you offer doesn’t mean they are rejecting you as an individual. Grow some thick skin and turn things around. Use rejection and criticisms to your advantage. Get to the bottom of what is going on. It’s true that you can’t please everyone. However, if rejection or criticism is consistent, take a good look at your business and see what needs changed or fine-tuned.

Lack of Confidence

Sometimes a business doesn’t grow because the owner has a lack of confidence. Do you fall into this category? Maybe you grew your business to the point that you knew it would get to, yet you can’t picture yourself going to the next level. The way we see and view ourselves often dictates how far we will go in life. For instance, if you saw yourself running a business and making X amount of money per year and you achieved it, the thought of making Y amount of money may be intimidating. When intimidation and a lack of confidence are coupled together, a business will tend to not grow.

To overcome this scenario, start changing how you think about yourself and your business. Remind yourself that just because your business may change and grow in a way you never dreamed, you are still the same person and you are perfectly capable of handling it. Envision your business at the next level and you working it at that level. Tell yourself that you won’t become lost or lose yourself, but you will be growing and maturing as an individual. Giving yourself these pep-talks will help you feel less intimidated and it can help you tackle any ambitious changes that need to take place inside yourself and with your business.

Poor Online Reputation

The reason your business may not be growing may be due to your online reputation. A poor online reputation may have developed because one unhappy client broadcasted their issues with you on the Internet for the whole world to view. Or, your reputation may have been smeared by things that were completely non-work related – such as a family member having been in legal trouble or a bitter ex slandered your name.

If there are negative things posted on the Internet about you or your business, it’s time to get active. While it probably isn’t possible to have these things wiped from the search engines, you can hire individuals who specialize in cleaning up online information. These individuals can get to work and start pushing these negative things down in the search results. They can also advise you on whether you should respond directly to negative things that have been written.

Technology/Software

If you don’t stay up-to-date with all of the technological changes that are going on inside your industry, your business will probably stop growing. Clients will take their business to others who are on top of and flowing with the latest software/technological changes. If you feel at a disadvantage because you don’t have a lot of techno-mojo, hire someone that can help you. Or, take classes that will bring you up to speed on the latest software programs and gadgets. Lack of knowledge is something that is easily overcome. Don’t let it be the thing that is keeping your business from growing.

If your business isn’t growing, start digging around and find out why. Whether it’s personal or business related, do whatever it takes to resolve the issues. Doing so will get your business back on track.

Recommended Reading

For more information and advice on growing your business, take a look at the following books:

Growing a Business
The Toilet Paper Entrepreneur
Free Marketing: 101 Low and No-Cost Ways to Grow Your Business, Online and Off

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Weight Watchers: An Overview

2012-01-18T22:01:47+00:00

It seems like the Weight Watchers diet has been around forever. There is something to say for staying power. Weight Watchers continues to be the diet choice of many looking to lose weight because it does work. Weight Watchers is not a fad diet. It is a program that can be used long term.

The Weight Watchers diet consists of a point system. The system uses a formula that includes fiber, calorie and fat content to determine a food’s point value. The number will be between 1 and 10. When you are on the Weight Watchers diet you will be allotted so many points per day. The number of points you can consume is determined by your starting weight, gender, height and other relevant type things.

This type of diet works well for folks who do not like counting calories or restricting the foods they can eat. On Weigh Watchers you can eat whatever foods you want, as long as you stay within your points. Just like most things in life, Weight Watchers has its positives and its negatives. They are as follows.

Positives of Weight Watchers

If you stick to your points, you will not have to deal with hunger pains. There is no fasting or starving done on this diet.

You do not have to restrict yourself from consuming your favorite foods. If you want pizza, cake or ice cream, feel free to eat it. Just allot the points for it.

The company manufactures ready-made foods that you can purchase at the supermarket. These foods are clearly labeled in points. This makes it easy for someone who has trouble determining a food’s points.

You can save up points and use them later, if you’d like. This means you can eat fewer points on Monday so you can consume more points on Tuesday. This is great for someone who knows that she may be attending a fancy dinner or party.

The program offers online programs, as well as physical meeting sites within communities, that serve as monitors, support systems and motivators.

Negatives of Weight Watchers

Some people don’t like learning the point system of the program.

There is more to weight loss than staying within the point system. It does require exercise to lose weight. This isn’t always emphasized within the program. Therefore a lot of people get on the Weight Watchers’ wagon and do not lose much weight because they do not exercise. The program is getting better at educating people on the necessity of exercise, but it does lack this information.

It is only effective if you keep the program going on a day-to-day basis. Eating a few pre-packed meals a week isn’t going to offer you much in the way of weight loss. It requires commitment.

There is a cost required to officially join the Weight Watchers program. In person weekly meetings generally range from $10 to $15. Online fees are $5 a week.

Food for Thought

Weight Watchers has been around for decades because it is successful for many people. If you need to lose weight, it is worth trying. It is much better for you than any type of crash diet or fad diet. With that said, keep in mind that if you stick to any kind of healthy dieting program long enough, it will be successful. You can make right food choices and lose weight without ever purchasing any memberships, pre-packaged foods or counting points.

The success of Weight Watchers is largely due in part to the community support that is given to the dieters—whether offline or online. If you are the type of person that needs accountability and you wish to make connections with people who are also taking control of their eating habits, the program will probably be something you very much enjoy. You will not lack for friendship, recipes, motivation or fun.

Many people continue to follow the Weight Watchers’ plan long after they have lost their excess weight. Why? First, they like the community atmosphere. Second, unlike other diet programs, the plan is not restrictive. Doing Weight Watchers long term is doable and it can go far in helping you feel in control as you work to maintain your goal weight.

Recommended Reading

For more information and advice on Weight Watchers diets, take a look at the following books:

Weight Watchers New Complete Cookbook
Simply Delicious : 245 No-Fuss Recipes—All 8 POINTS or Less
Weight Watchers Take-Out Tonight! : 150+ Restaurant Favorites to Make at Home

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Must-Have Arts and Crafts Supplies for Children

2012-01-11T22:54:21+00:00

If you have children, grand-children, or nieces and nephews, having arts and crafts supplies on hand is a must. These items can take a boring, rainy, or cold day and turn it into hours of busyness and fun. Here is a list of the must-have arts and crafts supplies that you should keep on hand. Keep them in a plastic bin or on a closet shelf so they’ll be readily available when you need them.

Paper

Paper is at the top of the must-have art supply list. While white copy paper will work, you really should have tablets of construction paper, too, as it will make arts and crafts more interesting. If you are into scrapbooking, toss in any scraps of this specialty-paper that you have leftover from your pages. This sturdy stock of paper will be put to good use by the little ones.

Chalk

Chalk comes in many different colors and it is really cheap—whether you buy the fat chalk or the thin blackboard chalk. Chalk is a great arts and craft tool for little ones who are not ready to tackle markers and paint. Chalk can be used on colored construction paper, as well as white paper. One of the best things about chalk is it doesn’t stain and it washes off of little hands and clothes easily.

Paint and Paint Brushes

What would arts and crafts be without paint? Kids love painting with their fingers and with brushes. It is best to read paint labels carefully before purchasing them. You should avoid oil paints and opt for paints that are washable. Before you let the kids go crazy with the paint, make sure you put down newspaper and protect the crafting area from spills. You should also have the kids dress in older clothes. No doubt their clothes will see as much paint as their papers.

Markers and Crayons, Pens and Pencils

Markers, crayons, pens and pencils are a must-have when it comes to art. All of these can be used on white paper and construction paper.

Almost all children love crayons, even older children, and they should be a staple in your art supply collection. You can purchase a jumbo box that has a crayon sharpener for the older children and a box of chubby crayons for the younger children.

The choices for markers are nearly unlimited in colors and can be purchased in thin pencil sizes for older kids, or chunky, fat sizes for those very small hands. Some markers are scented which takes using them to a whole new level. If you are nervous about letting the kids loose with markers, be sure to purchase the washable ones.

Colored pens and pencils are also a favorite with children. These work well, even on dark construction paper. You can give the small children the colored pencils and the older children the colored pens.

Glue and Tape

Besides coloring and using markers and painting, many art projects will require either glue or tape. Be sure you have both on hand. You have the option of the general white glue that can be squeezed out of the bottle, or glue sticks. If you are nervous about glue getting everywhere, supervise closely when it is being used, or opt for glue sticks.

Ordinary clear tape will work fine for almost all children’s arts and crafts projects. But, you may want to make things more interesting by also having masking tape on hand. Masking tape can be written on with markers and children like working with it.

Scissors

Scissors have come a long way in the last couple of decades. In addition to child-safe scissors and scissors for ‘lefty’, there are now scissors that have special blades. These scissors will cut patterns, fun angles, and designs in paper. No matter what type of scissors you stock up on, make sure the scissors a child uses is age-appropriate and supervise scissor-use at all times.

Craft Sticks and Pipe Cleaners

Crafts sticks and pipe cleaners are cheap and children love making things with them. Craft sticks are simply wooden sticks, sometimes called Popsicle sticks. They can be painted on, colored on, glued to paper, and things can be glued to them.

Pipe cleaners are long, fuzzy, bendable and thin. They are fun to play with and children can make many different things with them. Pipe cleaners come in many different colors. Your best bet is to buy a jumbo pack that comes with all different colors of pipe cleaners. If your children need help shortening a pipe cleaner, show them how to bend it in half, or snip it in half with a pair of adult-scissors yourself.

Glitter

There is something about glitter that excites children when they use it. Glitter comes in many different colors and shapes. Try to find glitter that comes in shakable bottles, much like salt and pepper shakers. This will help to cut down on glitter getting spilled all over the crafting area. In addition to—or as an alternative to—loose glitter, you can purchase glittery paints and ink pens.

Stickers

There is something about using stickers that makes children feel special. It makes them feel ‘big’ and ‘grown-up’ to handle and use stickers. Purchase a wide assortment of children’s stickers to have on hand the next time you are having arts and crafts time and watch their eyes light up.

Recommended Reading

For more information and advice on family arts and crafts, take a look at the following books:

The Big-Ass Book of Crafts
The Complete Book of Arts & Crafts
GIANT Encyclopedia of Arts & Craft Activities

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Mommy Timesavers

2012-01-11T22:26:32+00:00

As a parent, you know how precious your time is. Whether you’re organizing a play date, finally arriving at your desk after a hectic morning, or trying to get to the laundromat before all the washers fill up, any chance you have to save a little time is likely welcome. Read on for some suggestions that can help you find a little time in the day for yourself.

Save Time in the Kitchen

Cook too much on purpose. It takes very little effort to prepare a second casserole while you’re already making one for dinner. You can freeze the extra dish so that it can be put into the oven later in the week when you’re too tired to cook. A little advance planning will enable you to save the money you would otherwise spend on takeout. Side dishes like rice can also be made in extra quantity and used to supplement meals later in the week.

Use a slow cooker for much of your meal preparation. You can start a meal hours in advance and attend to other tasks on your to-do list without worrying that dinner still has to be made.

Wash dishes immediately after a meal wraps up. Leaving them for the next day only adds to everything you need to handle as soon as the alarm goes off. Use the opportunity to delegate. If you cook, assign the dishes to your spouse and/or children old enough for the task. You’ll be able to start your day fresh rather than facing down a sink full of dirty pots and pans.

Pack lunches for everyone the night before. Single-serving containers of foods like applesauce, string cheese, and yogurts will supplement a sandwich and piece of fruit well. To save money, consider buying vegetables whole (instead of the more-expensive, pre-cut variety) and chop them into bite-size pieces. You can prepare veggie baggies for the week and drop them into lunch sacks with ease.

Save Time Around the House

Never underestimate what you can accomplish in 10 or 15 minutes. You can make headway on a messy room, clean entirely a room that’s gotten cluttered with toys during the afternoon, sort laundry for a later load, and even jump on the elliptical for a quick set of sprints.

Use a calendar that’s accessible to everyone to better establish a routine. You might reserve Wednesday for major laundry loads (e.g., washing bedding) and make every Saturday into Italian dinner night. Simply plan according to your family’s needs and see the week organize itself.

After the lunches get packed, lay out clothes for the next day. Selecting everything from outfit to underwear – and locating that one lost shoe – will save you from making decisions in the morning that will only prolong your ability to get everyone out the door on time.

Get the kids involved in running the household. While they can’t pay the mortgage, children can be assigned the task of sacking up trash the night before the truck comes, folding laundry after it comes out of the dryer (or ‘policing’ the washers at the local laundromat), or loading the dishwasher while someone else cleans up the rest of the kitchen. Don’t be a supermom and try and do everything yourself. Save your sanity and teach your kids responsibility at the same time.

Ration how much time you spend online and watching TV. You can still tend to your virtual vegetables, chat with friends, or see the latest episode of your new favorite show, but keep in mind that 30 minutes turns into an hour and more with ease. Reclaim that time and spend it catching up with family or finally getting to that library book you keep renewing.

Have a primary spot in the house where you leave items that go with you when you leave, such as an already-packed gym bag, DVDs to return to the neighborhood kiosk, library materials, and backpacks for school. Nothing is quite as frustrating as having your coat on and arms full with little idea of where you left your car keys.

Save Time on the Go

Don’t overextend yourself. You can’t volunteer for every committee or always bake cookies for school parties. Learn to say yes selectively and keep your schedule on track.

Group your errands. Don’t spend time and gas driving all over town when you can go to a grocery and dry cleaners that are close to each other. You don’t need to forgo shopping at that specialty store. Just plan for the visit rather than trying to tack it on to an already-long list of tasks.

While you are likely employing some of these tips already, you hopefully have a few more ideas now about how to streamline your day. Keep your wits about you whether you’re looking after a houseful of toddlers or trying to convince your teenager that chores are fun.

This article was written by Maire Hunter. Maire blogs on behalf of Sears and other quality brands she uses. When she isn’t blogging about washers she is being a mom to two boys and walking their family friend, a Scottish Terrier named Pete.

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Recommended Reading

For more information and advice on time management, take a look at the following books:

Time Management: Take Control of Your Schedule and Your Life
The Clutter Diet: Organizing Your Home and Taking Control of Your Life
Extraordinary Uses for Ordinary Things: 2,317 Ways to Save Money and Time

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4 Tips for Cleaning Your Sleepwear: How to Keep Your Nightshirts and Lingerie Clean

2011-12-14T03:29:57+00:00

Oh, laundry. Everyone hates it, but it has to be done. Doing it properly can help prolong the life of your clothing and this is especially true for sleepwear, nightshirts and lingerie. Instead of just tossing everything in the machine with hot water and drying on high heat, use these tips to help keep your sleepwear and lingerie looking great for years to come.

Tip #1: Toss Cotton Nightshirts In The Washer For Ease And Convenience

Cotton is one of the most versatile fabrics around. It’s soft, comfortable and easy to care for. However, constant washing with hot water and drying with high heat can break down the fibers over time, leading to holes and weakened seams. It’s okay to use your washer and dryer for your comfy cottons, but take care to wash on cold and dry on medium heat - any higher and you could damage the elastic. While it might seem like a no heat approach is best, it can take a very long time to dry because cotton is so absorbent and holds a lot of water (ladies, you probably know what that’s like). Air drying can also make cottons feel crunchy and stiff so unless you want to be constantly ironing, toss your cottons in for a tumble.

Tip #2: Watch Out When Washing Silks

Silk is one of the most favored fabrics for lingerie and nightwear - it’s soft, smooth and most of all, sexy. While some silk is washable, take care to read the label before throwing it in the washer. If the fabric hasn’t been pre-washed, you’re playing with fire by washing it at home. If you have a top loading machine with an agitator, never, ever wash silk without first placing it inside a pillow case or lingerie bag. The fabric can wind around the agitator and this can cause holes and rips in the garment. To play it safe, hand wash your silks and hang to dry or send them to the dry cleaners for proper care.

Tip #3: Use The Delicate Cycle

Your washing machine’s delicate cycle is a must when it comes to machine washing your sleepwear and lingerie. Although the hand wash or delicate cycle is best, it doesn’t hurt to add an extra layer of protection. Use a mesh lingerie bag or a pillowcase to wash your delicates and take care to close the clasps of your bras so they can’t catch on other items in the machine. If you can catch the machine before it enters the spin cycle, take out any bras, delicate panties or skimpy sleepwear.

While you might be tempted to speed up the laundry process by tossing your sleepwear and lingerie in with that load of towels or smelly gym clothes, don’t! Also avoid overpacking the machine to give your clothes the space to move around freely. This will help keep them from twisting around each other.

Tip #4: Hand Wash

Hand washing can be an enormous pain, but it can help double the life of your garments. To hand wash lingerie and sleepwear, run a little lukewarm water into the sink or bathtub. Use a special, mild, lingerie detergent - the harsh chemicals in regular detergents can harm the delicate fabrics of undergarments and the sensitive areas they contact. Rinse out each garment and gently squeeze out any excess water, taking care not to twist the fabric. Lay it flat to dry and whatever you do, don’t hang up bras and shirts. This can stretch out the shoulders and the straps, leading to an ill fitting garment.

If you’re pressed for time, bring your lingerie with you in the shower. Take a little bit of lingerie wash in with you and give your delicates a gentle scrub while you let your conditioner work. You’ll get yourself - and your undergarments - clean at the same time.

Cleaning your sleepwear and lingerie properly can double the life of your clothing, which is something every woman can get behind. Doubling your clothing means you double your wardrobe so take the time to make sure you’re taking care of sleepwear and lingerie between wears.

This article was written by Cindy Prosser. Cindy modeled underwear until the baby… now she’s a part time freelance writer and full time mom. And yes, that most certainly DOES qualify her to work in a nightshirt! When baby’s asleep she keeps herself busy writing for BareNecessities.com.

Do you want to write an article for us? Submit your article for consideration.

Recommended Reading

For more information and advice on doing laundry and caring for clothes, take a look at the following books:

Talking Dirty Laundry With The Queen Of Clean
Laundry: The Home Comforts Book of Caring for Clothes and Linens
The Cleaning Bible: Kim and Aggie’s Complete Guide to Modern Household Management

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Choosing A Flattering Sundress

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Weight Loss Surgery

2011-12-14T02:56:29+00:00

The Christmas season is now upon us and with the extra delicious food and drink temptations, it is very unlikely that any of use will make it to the New Year without a few extra pounds around the waistline. However, such small weight gain can be easily shed, through mild exercise and small changes to our diets. This is the situation that most of us face, come the start of the New Year, but what if your weight gain isn’t a temporary experience and is a continual burden on the quality of your life?

Today, a quarter of UK adults are obese and it is apparent that UK children are also suffering, with 28% of girls and 31% of boys between the ages of 2-15 within the obese category. The same statistics can be found across the pond and 33% of U.S. adults are classed as overweight or obese. For many simple diet and exercise isn’t enough and many may turn to the help of the doctor and the surgeon to help them on their way to weight loss.

Weight Loss Treatments

Weight loss surgeries, also known as bariatric surgeries, are an increasingly popular method of weight reduction. However, Bariatric surgery is always considered a last resort and should only be considered if diet and exercise have failed and the individual has a BMI(Body Mass Index) of greater than 40, or a BMI of 35-40 with a serious co-existing medical condition. If your weight has lead to such illnesses as diabetes, heart disease or strokes, then consult your doctor about weight loss surgery.

There are several different types of bariatric surgeries. These include:

Gastric Bands

One major type of weight loss surgery that is growing in popularity is commonly known as “gastric banding.” This procedure involves using a band to separate the stomach into two sections, a small upper “pouch” and a larger lower section. The two sections are connected by a small channel, which is created by the band. The two pouches reduce the amount of food that the person is able to eat and in this way help them lose weight. Adjustments can be made to the band in order to allow more or less food to pass and control the rate of weight loss.

This surgery is one of the safest and therefore most popular aids to weight loss and the ability to control the tightness of the gastric band means you needn’t fear problems concerning under-eating such as malnourishment. The band is also removable, if at any point you change your mind or complications occur.

After being fitted with a gastric band, your diet will be purely liquid for the first 2 weeks, moving onto soft and then solid foods 2-10 weeks after your treatment. Your diet will remain altered for the rest of your life when wearing the band and only small meals can be consumed at any one sitting, to ensure that the band isn’t damaged or ruptured.

Gastric Bypass

A second major kind of surgery is known as a “gastric bypass” procedure. The most common type of gastric bypass is known as the Roux-en-Y procedure. In this surgery the very top part of the stomach is completely sectioned off from the rest, creating a small pouch the size of a walnut. The surgeon then cuts the small intestine and connects it to the newly created pouch. The new digestive tract means less food is eaten in each sitting and the calories consume also bypass part of the small intestine, reducing the absorption of nutrients.

This combination of reduced food consumptions and lowered levels of calories means weight loss is heightened, making gastric bypass surgery incredibly effective. However, this also means weight loss isn’t as controllable as with gastric bands. Gastric bypass treatment is also irreversible, so you must stick to a certain diet for the rest of your life.

Lifestyle Changes

However, neither of these procedures will work in the long term without significant changes in lifestyle. These changes include an improved diet and increased physical activity. Refusing to change lifestyle can result in a failure to lose adequate weight or a regaining of weight after initial weight loss.
The surgeries should therefore be seen as an aid to lifestyle change rather than an easy fix.

Side Effects

Side effects felt after the surgeries can include body aches, feeling tired, feeling cold, dry skin, hair thinning and mood changes. As with any surgery there are complication risks as well and all follow up appointments should be diligently attended.

Weight loss surgeries are a serious undertaking, but if used properly, they can dramatically improve an individual’s health. Consult a physician if you believe weight loss surgery is the right choice for you.

This article was written by Becky - an online writer with a keen interest in health and lifestyle. For more top tips on weight loss surgery visit her Twitter page @FreshHealth11

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Recommended Reading

For more information and advice on weight loss surgery, take a look at the following books:

Weight Loss Surgery for Dummies
The Expert’s Guide to Weight-Loss Surgery: Is it right for me? What happens during surgery?
The Patient’s Guide to Weight Loss Surgery: Everything You Need to Know About Gastric Bypass

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Why He’s Just Not That Into You

2011-12-07T21:06:55+00:00

I was reading Cosmo magazine the other day and I realized something. Although it is by far one of my favorite magazines, it isn’t one that I would turn to if searching for concrete advice about how to hold down or create a real relationship. I may be able to pick up a couple of tips on how to spice up my sex life or how to manage a failed relationship, but how to get to any of those points? I’m not so sure.

In fact, a lot of the literature that I have come across lately lets women know exactly what men think of them, but not why men are thinking it. The book- turned-movie “He’s Just Not That into You” was full of pathetic creatures mulling around cutting in and out of relationships with men due to this newfound realization. Never once did I see Jennifer Aniston make an internal change to better the state of her relationship. He may not be that into you, but did we ever stop to think that there is a reason for that?

Maybe men are passing on an opportunity to be with you because you aren’t presenting your best self. The idea that you don’t have to make a fundamental change and can simply wait for someone who understands you amid all your quirks is a belief that will only hurt you in the long run.

So what to do? First thing is to stop believing that just because someone doesn’t want to be with you, that he is the problem. Yes, men are characteristically more prone to scare from commitment. However; you have to take a step back and assess what it is you could be doing to make men decide they don’t want to be in a relationship with you. Are you frequently finding yourself being broken up with or the victim of the “it’s not you, it’s me” talks? Well, honey, it probably is you.

I’m not saying this to be mean and I’m not saying this to suggest that we as women should be taking all of the blame. I’m only offering the proposal that you take an inward look. We as women do not have all the answers nor are we perfect.

Personal anecdote: A friend of mine and I were talking the other day about whether or not things were progressing with her and a new man in her life. She said that she really didn’t think so; she thought that although she liked him she didn’t think that he had it together enough if they were going to date seriously. She added with a bit of bite and sarcasm, that even if he did she would probably like him so much that she would end up messing the whole thing up anyway. We both laughed and agreed…

I tell you that story because I know where my personal challenges lie: somewhere in-between ‘nothing is wrong with me’ and ‘complete crazy’. For the most part I am aware of my issues and am working on them. Whenever a relationship has ended I have been able to take a step back and assess both sides. The things I did wrong and the things I needed from my partner that he wasn’t bringing to the table. Sometimes, I also have to swallow my medicine that he was perfect and I ruined the whole thing. This is life, you will make mistakes you regret. Sorry.

Bottom line is that if you do want to get to a place where you are ready to date or be in a relationship you have to know your own triggers and the things that can deter others from getting serious about you. Men are not the enemy here. If he’s just not that into you, what’s up?

This article was written by Danae Matthews - a graphic designer by day and a creative writer by night, working and loving life in San Francisco. She currently works for an on-line health resource that provides both men and women with easy accessible health info whenever they need it. She loves to eat and cook delicious and healthy foods, sometimes loves work out (sometimes) and go out exploring in San Francisco whenever possible.

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For more information and advice on relationships and dating, take a look at the following books:

It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Break-Up Buddy
The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible
The Ten Commandments of Dating: Time-Tested Laws for Building Successful Relationships

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Helping a Disabled Family Member Stay Healthy

2011-12-07T20:44:52+00:00

For the handicapped, it is often a challenge to maintain an active, healthy lifestyle. Wheelchair accessible vehicles can help by providing greater freedom and decreasing dependence on others, but what to do once your loved one is no longer housebound? How can you help them stay healthy? Here are five tips for helping your family member to live a happy, healthy life regardless of their personal disability.

Work up a Sweat

Being wheelchair-bound doesn’t have to equate to living a sedentary life. In fact, every effort should be made to be active, in order to improve flexibility, strength, circulation, and overall wellbeing. In doing this, you also aid your disabled family member in controlling their weight and improving their self-esteem. Effective wheelchair exercises will focus on strength training, which is done with hand weights, or resistance training, which uses resistance bands or your own body weight. If you have access to a gym, many personal trainers are knowledgeable about how to properly instruct disabled guests, and can add a twist to your loved one’s regular routine. Finally, the very act of getting out of the house and going somewhere can provide more opportunities for physical exertion than just staying indoors.

Eat Your Way to Health

Anytime someone spends a large portion of their day indoors or being sedentary, the temptation to snack will arise. Instead of chips, cookies, or something equally unhealthy, stock your (or your family member’s) kitchen with plenty of healthy snacks, such as fresh fruits and veggies, and whole grain or baked chips, and encourage your loved one to fill up on these healthier appetizers. Not only will they feel more satisfied with their choice of snacks, but their energy level will remain at an all-time high as well. Be sure they eat plenty of protein—in the form of food such as nuts, meat and cheese —and balance those with healthy carbs.

Drink Up

While you’re at it, encourage your family member to drink plenty of water, between 8 and 10 glasses per day, in order to stay properly hydrated. In addition to keeping them properly hydrated—always important if you are striving for a healthy lifestyle—water also flushes toxins from vital organs, carries nutrients to cells, and helps to ensure a proper environment for your nose, throat and ears. Dehydration can leave your loved one feeling tired, which can eventually throw a healthy lifestyle off track. In addition to making sure they drink an adequate amount of water, encourage your family member to drink plenty of fruit juices in lieu of soda and coffee. Whereas caffeinated drinks will cause drinkers to crash after the effects of caffeine wears off, these healthy carbs will boost energy and provide necessary antioxidants in a healthy manner.

Socialization is Key

While it may not seem as if socializing on a regular basis would have an impact on your health, studies have shown that people with healthy social lives tend to live longer, and suffer fewer chronic illnesses to boot. Whether this means taking them to social events, getting them a gym membership, going to church on a regular basis, or just encouraging them to network with more people instead of staying indoors, your loved one’s health will benefit from regular social interaction. People need other people—it’s how we have thrived as a species – and social interaction will go a long way in determining whether your loved one will stay happy and healthy.

Revel in Nature

Nothing is as rejuvenating as a healthy dose of fresh air and nature. Whether you’re scheduling regular outings to parks or other outdoor venues, or planning a weeklong getaway at the nearest special needs camp, the key is to get your loved one out and about as often as you can. This will improve their physical health, and will also have a beneficial effect on their mental health, decreasing the likelihood of depression caused by Vitamin D deficiency. John Burroughs once said, “I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order.” Let nature soothe and heal your loved one, too.

As you can see, it’s relatively easy to help your disabled family member remain happy and healthy, and lead an active life. Being wheelchair-bound used to mean an end to activities that most people take for granted, but this hasn’t been the case in a long time. With a little foresight and planning, you can be sure that your loved one has a long, healthy life that’s full of unforgettable adventures and happy memories. So get out there and make it happen!

This article was written by Michael Smith. Michael has made use of wheelchair accessible vehicles quite a few times whilst caring for relatives. He hopes that his experiences can help guide anyone dealing with a similar situation.

Do you want to write an article for us? Submit your article for consideration.

Recommended Reading

For more information and advice on disablement, take a look at the following books:

Raising a Handicapped Child
The Body Silent: The Different World of the Disabled
When do we get to the good stuff? Disabled, and living in America

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Is Your Teen Ready to Drive?

2011-11-30T00:47:35+00:00

Your child is now a teenager and wants to drive. While driving may be a rite of passage in a young person’s life, driving is not a right. It is a privilege – a privilege only given to individuals who have earned it. The biggest question you will have to ask yourself at this stage in your child’s development is whether your teen is ready to drive.

It doesn’t matter if your child is legally old enough to drive. The question is whether you think your child is responsible and mature enough to be handed a set a car of keys. Some teens are ready for this new stage in life, others are not.

Here are some things you can evaluate in your teen’s life to determine if you think he or she is ready to enter the driving stage and take on the huge responsibly.

Tuned-In to Surroundings

Is your teen consciously aware of their surroundings? Does he or she know what is going on around them at all times and act appropriately? If so, your teen may be ready to drive.

If your teen is oblivious to their surroundings and does not act or react appropriately in their environment or with others, he or she is not ready to drive. In addition to having insight and perception to what is going on around them, teens must also learn how to develop peripheral awareness and to be able to foresee or semi-predict the behavior of others.

If a teen has not reached this milestone in life, they will not be able to do this behind the wheel of a vehicle. When a person is behind the wheel of a vehicle they must be alert and tuned in to their surroundings at all times and be a defensive driver. They must know how to act and react to situations, as well as how to act and react to the behavior of other drivers.

Follows Rules

One of the biggest predictors as to whether teens are ready to drive is whether they follow rules and keep their word. Does your teen keep the rules of the home, respect authority, and do what he or she says they will do? If so, your teen may be ready to drive.

A teenager who disregards rules and directions, and/or who consistently breaks their word is not mature enough to be allowed behind the wheel of a car. A teen that cannot meet a curfew, do what they say they will do, who lies, and who challenges or defies authority (openly or in secret) is not responsible enough to follow the rules of the road. In addition, teens who do not respect authority are not ready to be trusted to stay within their driving boundaries.

Attitude/Manners

Does your teen have a good attitude and good manners toward others? A teen who is courteous, respectful, and who displays good manners towards others is displaying the kind of attitude that is needed in the driving world.

A teen that has a bad attitude, and who is rude to others, who cannot control their anger, and who acts on their impulses is not emotionally mature enough to begin driving. Impulsive moodiness has no place on the road.

Decision Making

Is your teen confident and capable of making rational decisions? Can your teen think on their feet quickly? If so, he or she may be ready to drive.

If your teen is not capable of making rational decisions based on the facts at hand, putting him or her behind the wheel of a car is not a good idea. Driving requires constant decision making – such as when to slow down, speed up, when to swerve to miss an accident, as well as decisions such as whether it is a good idea to try and drive in certain types of weather, and more. Drivers must be able to process the facts and make rational decisions on them quickly. If your teen cannot do so in life, putting them in a position of having to do so behind the wheel of a car is a bad idea.

Now What?

Based on the answers to the above questions you will have a good idea as to whether your teen is ready to drive, or not. If you determine your child is not ready, talk to him or her about why. Discuss with your teen what they can do to get ready to drive. Maybe they need to learn how to tune-in to their surroundings, make better decisions, or get a better attitude.

If your teen is ready to drive, it is a good idea that they enroll in a Driver’s Education course. These courses are available at many high schools. Your teen should also be given a copy of your area’s Driver’s Handbook so they can begin preparing for the written portion of the driver’s license test. As for the driving itself – take it slow. Start in empty parking lots. As your teen’s driving ability improves you can allow him or her to venture into more public places.

Recommended Reading

For more information and advice on teenage driving, take a look at the following books:

Crashproof Your Kids: Make Your Teen a Safer, Smarter Driver
The Driving Book: Everything New Drivers Need to Know but Don’t Know to Ask
3 Keys to Keeping Your Teen Alive: Lessons for Surviving the First Year of Driving

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How to Make a Career Advancement Plan

2011-11-30T00:33:00+00:00

If you are looking to advance your career but you don’t know where to start, you need a plan, or a guide, to follow. By working the plan you will be to assess what you need to do each step of the way. Then you can do what is necessary to advance your career to the next level.

Determine Your Career Goal

If you don’t know where you want to go, you will never get there. Before you do anything, you must determine your career goal.

After you know what your goal is, write down the path, or the job titles that will lead you to that goal. Put the job titles in order starting with your present position. The last title on your list should be your destination, or your career goal.

You now have a visible list of markers that will guide you each step up the career ladder.

Outline the Next Step

Write down what obtaining the next job title on your list will require. Perhaps you need additional education? Maybe you will need special training of some sort? Write down whatever it is and then list how you can go about obtaining the requirements.

In addition to education or special training, write down any personality or characteristics that someone in this position must possess. List as many as you can think of that the job requires. Your list may contain skills such as public speaking, team-building, multi-tasking, management/leadership traits, and more.

Of the personality/characteristics, mark off the ones you currently possess. Then, highlight the ones you need to develop. Next, write down what you need to do to obtain each trait – examples may be taking a special course, doing volunteer or community work, setting aside time to do a self-study program, or working with a mentor.

Get Real With Yourself

Take a serious look at the position you will be working toward and all that will be required of you to obtain it. Then, get real with yourself and determine if it is actually something you want to do. If you had all of the necessary requirements to do the job, would you truly enjoy it? Would it be a good fit for your life?

Ask yourself what you would dislike about the position. What would be the most difficult and challenging thing to overcome? Challenges may include having move your family to a new area, traveling or being away from home two weeks out of the month, very long commutes, and more.

Look at your list of dislikes or challenges. Think about how you would be able to overcome, or handle, these things and if the position is worth it. If you feel you can work past the challenges, work toward the position. If not, you will either have to come up with a new career goal, put your advancement on hold until you can meet the challenges, or find another route to your career goal.

Assessing Your Company Options

If you decide to continue pursuing your career goal and you are certain you can obtain the requirements and overcome any challenges there may be, the next step is to assess your current employer. By assessing the company you currently work for you will be able to determine if you need to stay with this employer, or seek out a new employer. Ask yourself these questions:

Is this position even a job title at your present employer?
If the answer is yes, how often does this job title become open?
Would this position become open sooner if you worked for a larger or smaller company?

If the position you are working toward is not available at your current place of employment because it does not exists – of course you will need to seek the position elsewhere. If that job title you are seeking is available with your employer, how often do jobs become open?

If you determine that a job opening is not likely to become available for a very long time, list other companies that might have possible openings, or openings more often. Based on what you know about these companies, which ones would facilitate you the best in reaching your career goal?

Work the Plan

No matter how close or far away you are from reaching your career goal, always rely on your plan. When you obtain the next position on your list, go back to the plan and work it again.

Outline the requirements of the next job title you seek. List what you will need to do to obtain them, if you don’t already possess them. Evaluate the personality and character traits needed for this new position. Determine if you have them. If not, list what you can do to obtain them. Then, get real with yourself and decide if the next position is truly what you want to pursue. If not, reassess your career goal, put it on hold, or find an alternate path to it.

Recommended Reading

For more information and advice on career advancement, take a look at the following books:

Who Gets Promoted, Who Doesn’t, and Why
Career Distinction: Stand Out by Building Your Brand
The Career Coward’s Guide to Career Advancement

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Make Your House Presentable in Less than 15 Minutes

2011-11-23T21:48:10+00:00

You are relaxing at home couched out, snacking on chips, and having a movie marathon when you get a phone call that someone is on their way to visit you. Your house is a mess and you feel panic beginning to sink in.

This scenario can happen to anyone. The best thing you can do when company is beating a path to your door is to stay calm. If you freak out you won’t be able to clearly focus on what needs to be done. If you keep your wits about you, your home can look presentable in under 15 minutes. Even faster if you have family members at home that you can delegate chores to.

Follow this guide and your home will be ready when your company arrives.

Grab a laundry basket or big trash bag. Stand at your front door, or the area where your guests will be entering. As you walk into your home from that area and make your way into the living room, anything that you see lying around that shouldn’t be there, toss it into the bag. Then, hide the bag in a closet or the garage. You can deal with what’s inside the bag later. What is important right now is that the clutter disappears.

Quickly straighten your couch and chair cushions. Wipe them free of any crumbs that may be lingering from that sandwich you had for lunch, or that bag of chips you were snacking on when you received the phone call. Plump the pillows and fold any blankets.

Stack up any newspapers, magazines or mail that may be scattered about. Put the stack in a cabinet or sit it on a kitchen chair.

Run a damp cloth over your coffee table and your end tables to remove dust and debris.

Do a quick bathroom cleaning. Toss anything that is on the counter into the bathroom drawers; wipe down the counter and the inside of the sink. Give the toilet bowl a quick swish and wipe off the toilet seat. Make sure the shower curtain (or door) is closed. If you have it on hand, wipe down the bathroom mirror with a glass cleaner and give the room a quick spray with a disinfectant. It will make the room smell fresh and clean.

If you have dirty dishes, don’t panic. Fill the sink with hot, soapy water – both sides of the sink if need be – and place the dirty dishes there, or hide the dishes in a dishwasher. If you have dirty pots and pans, hide them inside your oven.

Give the kitchen counters a good swipe with a wet rag or sponge, and then wipe down the eating area, or kitchen table.

Go through your house and close all doors to the rooms that you don’t want your guests to see.

If you have candles, light them. This will give your home a cozy, relaxed atmosphere.

Quickly run a vacuum or sweeper. This will pick up all those crumbs, pet hair, and dust bunnies that are on your floors.

Check your refrigerator and cupboard to see what kind of drinks and snacks you can offer your pending guests.

The thing about having to clean up a very messy house for unexpected guests is that it drives home the point that life is full of surprises. While this guide enables you to have your house presentable in about 15 minutes, it didn’t allot any time for you to make yourself presentable.

Even if you are planning to have a lazy day, or a lazy few days, it is a good idea to at least shower and have clean hair—even if it you just toss it up into a pony tail. If you don’t have yourself squeaky clean you’ll be hard pressed to decide if you want to take the time before your guests arrive to make your house presentable, or yourself!

Recommended Reading

For more information and advice on homekeeping and cleaning, take a look at the following books:

The House That Cleans Itself
The Cleaning Bible: Kim and Aggie’s Complete Guide to Modern Household Management
Martha Stewart’s Homekeeping Handbook: The Essential Guide to Caring for Everything in Your Home

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Making Yourself at Home: Decorating a Rental Home

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Too Busy for Love? Learn to Say No!

2011-11-23T21:31:12+00:00

Have you found that your time is somehow always committed to doing things that you really don’t want to do? Is your love life suffering because you have no time to spare for your partner? Maybe you are like countless other people who don’t even have a relationship because you don’t have any extra time to develop one?

It may be surprising to learn that many people have a hard time making time for love and romance. If you are one of these people (or partnered with one of these people) you know how hard it can be to keep love alive when it is delegated to the bottom of the honey-do list. So, what exactly is the problem? Surprisingly, most people just don’t know how to say “no” to people who put unnecessary demands on their time. If you have a people pleasing heart, but you are seeing that your generosity is starting to eat away at your love life, it’s time to develop a backbone and learn how to say “no” to others and “yes” to yourself.

Working up the courage to say “no” can be difficult for some people. If this is you, the first step to getting your life back is accepting that you are a softy. It’s perfectly fine if you are a softy, too. Being nice, generous and kind-hearted are good traits to have in today’s world—just don’t let the vultures take advantage of your goodness.

The first thing to understand when learning how to say “no” is that you should practice saying it. That may sound silly, but many of us need to learn how to say it. Say it aloud to yourself using different tones of voice. Watch yourself in the mirror as you say it. Practice saying “no” until your voice and face reflect your authenticity. If you don’t master how to say it, someone making a request of you will be able to tell and they may start pecking away at you until you give in to their requests. Practice saying “no” and make sure your voice is strong and clear. You don’t have to shout it or say it in a hateful way. A firm, clear “no” will get the job done.

When you first start saying “no” to people and their unrealistic demands of your time, it is important that you don’t leave the door open. If your neighbor asks you to dog-sit while they are on a three week vacation and you are not an animal lover or you simply don’t want the responsibility—it is best to simply say, “No. I’m sorry but I don’t really get along well with dogs.” or, “No. I’m sorry I don’t have the time to give an animal the attention he needs,” instead of, “Well, I’m busy during that time, maybe next time, though.” If you are not clear the first time, you will be asked again and again.

One of the hardest areas in life to learn to say “no” is when it comes to family and friends. When it comes to these loved ones, evaluate their requests. If it is a truly legitimate need and you can meet the need, go for it. If the person needing something is always your cousin Susie or your sister-in-law Karen and she is always asking you to watch her kids on the weekends, stand up for yourself and say “no” but tell her why as honestly as you can. Make it clear that your reasons for saying “no” aren’t a reflection on her, just that you need more time for yourself. When telling a family or friend “no” use more sentences that begin with “I” instead of “you”.

If you are involved in a club, organization, committee or church, it is only natural that you may be asked to do things. However, if it seems that you are the one doing all the work all of the time, it’s time to stand up for yourself and just say “no.” This is not a sticky situation if you handle it correctly. For instance, if you are asked to make 100 cupcakes say, “No. I can’t make 100 cupcakes. But, I’d be happy to buy 25.” If you are the one who is always asked to be in charge of a fund raising event such as an auction or rummage sale, say “No. I can’t be in charge this year. I’d be happy to donate some items, though.” Remember, you are in charge of your life and your time. Step up to the plate and take control of it or you’ll never have time for yourself or that hot love-life that you’ve been fantasizing about.

There are numerous other areas where learning to say “no” can benefit your life. If you are hounded by phone solicitors and find yourself listening for 15 minutes about a vacation spot in Greenland, simply tell them within the first minute “No. I’m not interested.” If they continue to disregard you statement, hang up. If they are rude enough to continue, you have permission to hang up and don’t feel bad about it.

If being a softy is putting a dent in your wallet, it is very important to your finances that you learn to say “no.” If you are bombarded by charities, decide at the first of each year which ones you are going to support. Once you are asked by other charities if you will support them, simply say, “No. I have already donated all of my charitable funds for the year.” If they are a cause worthy of your time and interest, add them onto next year’s lists of charities. Don’t get in the habit of giving all your money away—that money could better be spent on a romantic getaway with your lover or on a new, sexy outfit that makes you feel good about yourself.

Once you learn to say “no” to the impossible demands that people put on you, you will have more time for yourself and for love. Prioritize what is important, become empowered and practice saying “no.” Before long you will be on your way to a happier, more relaxing life that will give you the time you need for love. You will also find that standing your ground doesn’t make you a monster; it just makes you a human!

Recommended Reading

For more information and advice on dating and learning to say no, take a look at the following books:

When I Say No, I Feel Guilty
How to Get a Date Worth Keeping
How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

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5 Magic Spells to Help You Lose Belly Fat

2011-11-17T21:15:04+00:00

You probably carry a few more pounds around your waist than you’d like. You’ve probably even tried many ways to lose belly fat. You exercise and eat healthily and regularly but that extra fat is still hanging around.

If this is the case, you may not be making proper use of these five “magic spells” for a flat stomach.

Magic Spell #1 - Do exercises that work your whole body, not just your stomach.

Many women think that the best remedy for a fat midriff is to do a lot of stomach exercises.

The problem with that is that you can’t spot reduce your body fat. If you’ve got a bulging belly, that means you’ve got extra fat all over your body - it just happens to be stored most noticeably in your stomach area.

You can’t tell your body to store that fat somewhere else, such as your breasts. It’s pre-determined in your genes - you can’t control it, so you need to get rid of extra fat from all over your body. Only then will you see flat abs. That means you need to burn off as many calories as you can. The exercises that burn the most calories are whole body exercises. Exercises such as squats, push ups and deadlifts give you the best return on investment for your time and effort. Don’t bother with lower yield exercises like crunches and sit ups, especially if you can only spare a little time for exercise.

Magic Spell #2 - You must consume less energy than you expend.

There’s a law that says that if you want to lose fat, you need to consume fewer calories than you expend.

You’d think that everybody would know this, right? It’s common sense. But in fact, many people forget this. They think that as long as they exercise and eat healthily, they should lose fat - but if you eat more calories than you need, you’ll still maintain that bulge (or even grow it!), no matter how healthily you eat.

The solution? Start counting calories, right? Well… you could. But it’s really tedious. There are ways around it. You’ll see in the next 2 spells.

Magic Spell #3 - Make sure your meal portions are small.

Small in the sense that you feel full after that amount of food. Not feeling hungry. And not stuffed.

One way to make sure of this is to use a smaller plate than you’re used to. A typical plate size these days is about 30 cm in diameter or even larger. I’ve found that my Grandma’s old plates are only 25 cm wide. The plate size matters - the larger the plate, the more food you’ll tend to put on it. You’ll end up consuming more food than you need. You’ll tend to finish all the food on the plate even after you feel full. After all, it’s wrong to waste food, right?

So, using a small plate will avoid this situation. After that small portion, you’re likely to feel pleasantly full, not stuffed. Stop there. That’s the right portion for you.

Magic Spell #4 - Make your meals as balanced as you can 90% of the time.

The right balance for a meal should include some protein, carbohydrates and fats.

To get a good balance of everything, divide your plate into 4 quarters (in your mind I mean, not with a karate chop!). Fill 2 quarters with fresh vegetables. This gives you fibres, minerals and carbohydrate. Plus it helps fill you up so you’re less likely to over eat. Fill another quarter with lean meat or fish for protein sources*. Then fill the remaining quarter with brown rice, pasta, wholemeal bread etc. This will give you complex carbohydrates and fibres. Olive oil in your salad dressings or sauce or oily fish and meat will give you good fats that your body needs.

*If you’re vegetarian, use your usual protein sources, such as beans, pulses or tofu.

Magic Spell #5 - Consistency is the queen of all these.

Finally… it’s all very well doing the things I mentioned above but if you don’t do them consistently, you won’t be able to lose belly fat. Consistency doesn’t mean you’ve got to stick to these rules all the time. If you get sidetracked now and then, just get back on track as soon as you can. Don’t bother beating yourself up - that’s pointless. After all, we’re only human. We can’t stick to rules all the time. As long as we behave well most of the time, that’s OK. So, be consistent most of the time. Simple!

There you go. If you can use these five magic spells regularly, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t be able to lose belly fat.

Good luck!

This article was written by Angeline Thiri. Angeline became trim by regular strength training in a tiny spare room at home. At her site about weight training for women, she shares how to shape up on a small budget.

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Recommended Reading

For more information and advice on losing belly fat, take a look at the following books:

Flat Belly Diet!
From Belly Fat to Belly Flat
8 Minutes in the Morning to a Flat Belly

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