Divinely Designed

Mercy Calls My Name

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Thu, 09 Jun 2016 12:22:00 +0000

Has mercy called your name lately? Ever?

Listening to K-Love on radio the way to work this morning I sang along with this Matt Maher version of this beautiful song.

BECAUSE HE LIVES

I believe in the Son
I believe in the risen One
I believe I overcome
By the power of His blood

Amen, Amen
I’m alive, I’m alive
Because He lives
Amen, Amen
Let my song join the one that never ends
Because He lives

I was dead in the grave
I was covered in sin and shame
I heard mercy call my name
He rolled the stone away

Because He lives
I can face tomorrow
Because He lives
Every fear is gone
I know He holds my life my future in His hands

I don't know if I love it because it's just plain a beautiful testimony or if it is because it is MY testimony!

Mercy calls my name on a daily, hourly . . . ok! On an on-going basis! And just when I start to think I'm beyond needing it . . . It calls me once again! It gives me the courage to be raw, and real, and honest about who and what I am with myself.

It's kind of scary! Nothing else in this life affords us that absolute, total, complete freedom and safety! I step into it often! And these days, even more often than ever before! I want to be "right with the Lord" when I leave this earth! I want to walk straight through the gates of heaven! I want to do all the work towards my perfection that I possibly can in this lifetime! I don't like waiting! I'd just hate it if there was a line in heaven! Ha!

So I'm mustering my courage. I'm stepping out in faith. I'm alive because He lives! Mercy . . . I hear you! Don't get too far ahead! I'm coming!

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Tue, 01 Dec 2015 13:58:00 +0000

It has been so long since I posted here I had to "look around" and figure out how to make a new post! Yikes! I've thought a number of times about just letting go of this blog. But I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it.

I don't think I have any words of wisdom that I can share. My own life is less than exemplary in that regard. I don't even listen to my own advice, let alone expect anyone else to! LOL! But I'll not be offering advice here. Only sharing my continuing journey. And my prayer is that in my journey, you will see something that offers you hope, healing, maybe even redemption.

I won't say my faith has faltered at all in the past year - which has flown by at lightning speed! I literally just turned around and it's December 2015! It has certainly evolved and expanded, though!

God has been doing some deep, hard work in me! And I have been trying to let Him. I fight it all too often, but in the end, I have found myself, surrendered. At the foot of the Cross. And it hurts. But it also feels so good. Because He hung there for me! He died up there and He allows me to approach Him there. Laying down who and what I have been; anticipating all that will rise up in me as He rose 2000 years ago. It's scary. It's exhilarating. I'm getting stronger. I'm getting more single-minded and focused. I'm getting to be more of who He sees me to be: beautiful, wise, loving, caring, strong, full of faith and hope. And He is getting ready to do some great things through me!

What are you seeing when you look back on 2015? If the year has not been everything you hoped - if it has been hard, sad, lonely, fearful, or just "blah" it's okay! Because God makes all things new - and that includes each day and each person. You and I are being made new every single day. Who do you want to be when 2016 rings in? You can be that person! I have caught a glimpse of myself - in the mirror of the Savior's eyes. I am so excited! I cannot wait to do Him proud!

I hope you will catch a glimpse of your own perfect reflection!

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness" (Lamentations 3:22-23 ESV).

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world" (John 16:33 NIV).

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

Do Justice and Love Kindness

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Tue, 23 Dec 2014 23:52:00 +0000

Tonight I am world-weary. I have been watching "awful" Christmas movies all week on Hallmark Channel. I have been listening to Christmas music in the car - or driving in silence.

The state of our country-and the world can be so distressing. I'm not the smartest person I know, but I know this much: Human beings, in general, as a rule, are decent, kind, loving, generous and fundamentally good. The media hypes every other truth - because it's sensational and riles us up and gets us hooked and anxious to tune in to see what the latest awful thing has happened in the world!

I'm not advocating sticking our heads in the sand - I'm one of the most generally well-informed citizens of the world I know! But I have this to say: God is in heaven and He did not create us to hate and kill each other. That does not relieve us of our responsibilities as His creations: we must be the best we can be - and demand - yes I said demand - the same of others in our world. Not perfect - but attempting to live well.

I refuse to be overcome and overwhelmed by hate, violence, prejudice, political posturing. I pray every waking minute for wisdom and courage on the part of our leaders. But I also pray for the same for myself and for each of us - regular people, just trying to live each day.

There is no excuse for behaving badly. There is no "pass" on committing acts of violence, cruelty, or advancing hate - whether you are a "regular" person on the streets, or a powerful politician or business mogul!

I ask that you join me in praying for our country, for our world, and for each other.

"[ The Essence of the Law ] So now, O Israel, what does the Lord your God require of you? Only to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul," (Deutronomy 10:12 NIV)

Micah 6:8

"He has told you, O mortal, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God" (Micah 6:8)?

Blessings on your journey, Mary

Perfect and All-surpassing Peace

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Tue, 28 Oct 2014 10:57:00 +0000

There was a time when I could easily slip into a place of God's perfect and all-surpassing peace whenever life got too complicated or challenging -- or even just because I savored the sacred time with my Savior. That is where I could right myself and go back to my life with renewed energy, assurance and hope.

Life these days is so complicated - and I have drifted far from my intentional seeking and succumbed to my need to "be in charge" of my life and of situations around me. Silly me! I know I have NO control on any level. I realize there is a direct link between this fact and my lack of peace and calm within my being and surrounding me lately.

Sunday night I tossed and turned and could not shut my mind off even with ardent and continual prayer. It was a spiritual battle that left me drained and defeated. But in the morning, as my anxiety level rose and my mind continued to race, God stepped in and released me from my battle! Surrender is a powerful and glorious thing! I told myself that "its going to be okay." Words straight from heaven certainly, because I had no capacity to think it, let alone speak it out loud or believe it!

I instantly felt an odd sense of empowerment - which is what I thought at the time. What I now realize it that it was a sense of freedom! God stepped in and took back His rightful place as ruler of my life -- because I allowed it! He was with me all through that night - battling my own sinful inclinations and pushing back every time I insisted on being in charge.

No, the issues and problems and questions I still struggle with have not gone away. What has changed though, is that I have a renewed strength--physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I let go and let God! And the all-surpassing peace is blanketing me (though I do have a proclivity to "kick the covers off")!

I slept better last night, though still remnants of my flawed, stubborn humanity tried to rob me of my hard-won peace. This morning I feel renewed again and even stronger, though still tired. My humility took a huge hit! It's back in its proper place -- at the forefront of everything I do, think, say, believe.

Thank you dear, sweet Lord for loving me even when I am the most unlovable! I pray you will turn over whatever you are dealing with in your life to our Heavenly Father who wants nothing more -- or less -- than our well-being and our praise!

Blessings on your journey,

Mary

God's Persistence. My Way Through.

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Fri, 19 Sep 2014 23:41:00 +0000

God has been gracious lately in offering me some introspection.

It’s been too long since I visited my blog. But perhaps has been just the right length of time. At first I was thinking I have finally found my way “back” a year and a half after mom’s death; then 8 months ago a major reorganization at my job where I have grieved no longer being part of the group I was a part of for three years. Rather I have found my way through. I am not the same person I was then. And God has worked mightily in me – sometimes, I fear, to no avail. Other times, I seem to have been more receptive and pliable in His hands.

I had no idea it had been 3/4 of a year since my last post. What a journey! What a ride! I suppose that if I had been true to my purpose for starting and maintaining this blog I would have been sharing it all over the past 9 months.

I won't condemn myself for NOT. I know it might have been helpful to others. But God and I have been having some heated conversations . . . some battles of the will . . . well . . . not really . . . I have been struggling, growing, exploring, journeying . . . and well, living life every day. And He has been gracious enough to allow my engagement - if not always my cooperation :)

You may wonder if my faith is less or diminished in any way - and perhaps attribute my lapse to that. But exactly the opposite is true. Very few things in life have turned out as I planned them. Very few. But many things have turned out far better than I could ever have fathomed with my small, limited, one-dimensional view of life and grace and living on this earth. Yes, I have sought knowledge, wisdom, insight and God has seen fit to share all of those with me - sometimes to my chagrin, other times to my utter delight.

One way I've changed: I hunger for correction, redirection, molding, reshaping, deepened understanding and self-awareness. Hard to believe! Even more difficult to understand! I've had some profound, earth-shattering, comforting, disheartening and hope-filled moments and hours on my deck in the mornings these past months. God has chosen to swoop down from heaven with the same persistence with which I seek His touch, wisdom, thoughts,

We are all just fragile forms, trying to get through each moment, hour, day, month, year, with whatever we can muster. I am awed by the strength of human conviction, by the courage of those who should cower in fear, by the hope of those who have no reason to be hopeful.

And it makes me glad to wake up each and every morning. Without my mom. Without all the other people and things that I value and have clung to, without having accomplished all the things I think I should have accomplished. I rejoice! Because in spite of my rebellion, refusal, denial, lack of cooperation, hesitation and doubt, God still loves me as His perfect and wondrous creation and longs for me to live in to and up to all He has created me to be and do.

Don't know when I'll post again, but know my dears, that I pray for each and every one of you often and seek His blessings, grace, peace and hope upon your lives.

Blessings on your journey,

Mary

Bread of Affliction and Water of Adversity = Hope

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Wed, 01 Jan 2014 15:23:00 +0000

First morning of the new year. Much too cold to sit on the deck with my coffee, but I'm pretty sure Katie dog and I will be taking a walk in a little bit. I know it's traditional to say Happy New Year and look ahead to the new year, as if waking up one morning is going to make everything different—better, happier, healthier, wealthier, wiser and all the other things we wish for. 2013 was a challenging year for our family. We have said several times that we're ready to say good-bye and to embrace 2014! Truth be told that as hard as some of it was, I don't think I will dismiss last year so quickly, as I reflect upon it this morning.

I did awake this morning with a sense of both relief and anticipation. While I have made new goals for my business, new personal goals, and new goals for our family, I won’t dismiss all of what I learned last year. Some of the “old” will definitely remain. I realized last Sunday, through some indescribable moving of the Holy Spirit, that God has been refining me, breaking me – and breaking my heart, honing me and reshaping me particularly in the last year, to grow into the image He has for my life.

How can I say I wish anything had been different? I learned that in no uncertain terms, I am not in charge—of anything. I can pray and beg and rail at God and He responds as He sees fit. Sometimes the two seem incompatible and diametrically opposite. I would give or do just about anything to have my Mom back with us. I have felt her though, many times since March. She is in the “serendipity” I have experienced since then. I believe whole-heartedly, she has guided some of my goal-setting and certainly intervened in a more esoteric, spiritual realm. I won’t share all the “everyday” incidents (though I am going to begin journaling them) but I have an unshakable certainty that it is so. I find myself smiling more than once a day, knowing it’s her.

I won’t presume to say that I will be at better anything or in any way in 2014. I will only say that I will try, every single morning, to wake up with a sense of relief and anticipation. Relief to have “survived” another day on earth, and relief to wake up with the hope and promise of yet another day . Anticipation that whatever happens, whomever I meet, however things turn out, God has all of “it” all figured out. And Mom will be with me always, in the serendipity.

“For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it; You do not delight in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, A broken and a contrite heart—These, O God, You will not despise” (Psalm 51:16-17).

“For the people shall dwell in Zion at Jerusalem; You shall weep no more. He will be very gracious to you at the sound of your cry; When He hears it, He will answer you. And though the Lord gives you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your teachers will not be moved into a corner anymore, but your eyes shall see your teachers. Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” whenever you turn to the right hand or whenever you turn to the left” (Isaiah 30:19-21 NIV).

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:3-5 NIV).

Blessings on your journey, Mary

Saying goodbye and tending to my flowers

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Sat, 10 Aug 2013 02:13:00 +0000

Wednesday night I dreamt/saw in my mind - I was awake I think, but not sure:

Mom standing in her driveway. That hallmark little smile on her face. Right arm bent, shoulder strap on her shoulder, purse resting in the crook of her arm, ready to go off to whatever adventure the day held.

I had had an unsettled feeling all day and had trouble sleeping. Throughout the night, after this vision I continued to attempt to glean what message she was sending me. Then I felt like I was hit with a gut punch. I think she had come through the spirit world to say good bye. Her estate has been settled and she's had time enough to "check in" on all her children and ensured my siblings and I (and grandchildren) will look in on my dad.

The next evening I had to chuckle at myself as I went to the mailbox and noticed my petunias around the mailbox had not been "dead-headed" in quite some time. Mom always did that for me when she was at my house - and she was meticulous about that in her own yard. So I picked off all the dried up, dead heads and smiled.

I'm pretty sure she wanted to let me know "you've got this" and "you always did" which she told me years ago. But I don't feel like I do. I still want her here. I think she has released those of us in this world. But I'm not ready to let her go. . .

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ" (2 Corinthians 1:3-5 NIV)

Blessings on your journey, Mary

Nothing More. Nothing Less. Nothing Else.

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Sun, 02 Jun 2013 16:00:00 +0000

Wow! It's been a month since I last posted. Perhaps I should have been sharing more. Believe me, there has been plenty going on on so many levels this past month!

Every once in a while I catch a glimpse of two things. First is the person I really want to be - all the time - even in crunch time - even in times of stress - even when in pain - yes, even if I were to lay dying.

It's who I saw my mother become in the last year of her life. The transformation was nothing short of a miracle; an example of God answering prayers in ways we can never imagine. Mom had a healing--not of her body, but of her heart, of the struggles/burdens that plagued her for many years. It was a healing I know we had all prayed for over the years, but I don't think any of us ever really thought about asking God to really, truly, absolutely and completely grant her the kind of peace on earth she - and we - experienced throughout her cancer journey (and our journey with her and my dad). It was nothing short of a miracle. And a gift - real gift that I will never be able to thank God for enough.

I want to be that person now. I want to be whole and happy and at peace and to feel - and live as if I feel - blessed. Every day. All the time. Through pain. Through disappointment. Through everything.

The second thing I glimpse sometimes (probably not often enough) is who I really am. And I wince when that person looks back at me in the mirror of my mind. I'm not a terrible person. But I've done so many things of which I am not proud. I've acted badly and been selfish, self-righteous and yes, just downright sinful. I'm not "that person" all the time. I just act like that person sometimes. And I don't like that person at all.

I am trying very hard these days to be more like the person I want to be--and desperately hope to become. Because I am so very blessed. So, so blessed. I recently shared that when I say I'm blessed it doesn't mean I have everything I ever wanted! (Though I certainly have far more than I deserve). Blessed is state of mind and heart. It has become my way of "being" (or at least my attempt to be this way). God is so very good and I can't help but praise him for every blessing.

My prayer today - for today and each and every day I am alive - is that I speak words of love and kindness. That I think thoughts only of others and how I can minister to them. That I think only thoughts of God's grace and healing. And while I am certain I will never be the person I truly want to be, I learned through my mom's final months and in the months since, that God's will is infallible. He answers prayers we cannot even dare to utter. He hears our cries for hope and help and healing that are uttered in soundless, breathless sobs. And He answers.

I really miss my mom today. It sneaks up on me. It hits me out of the blue. And then I remember that she told us she was happier than she had ever been in her life weeks before she died. Blessed is I think what she meant. For perhaps the first time she was able to see her life from an eternal view point. One that surpasses all human toiling, striving, struggling and dreaming. Perhaps she realized she had everything she could ever have hoped for - and far more than she deserved - more than any of us deserve.

I want to live like that every day. I want it to seep into my heart and my mind and into every cell of my body. I want to live blessed - not like I'm blessed - live rightly because I am blessed. My mom taught me many things throughout my life and touched many people throughout hers. Being blessed is perhaps the most significant lesson of all. And she was. And I was, and always will be, as her daughter.

God's will.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
Nothing else.

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

Don't Be a Chicken Heart

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Sun, 05 May 2013 14:44:00 +0000

One of my friends told me years ago she thought I was so brave! I was a little surprised by that characterization! I had never even thought about myself in that light.

As I view my life and my mother's life through a different filtered lens since Mom's death, I now realize that perhaps what my friend saw in me was really a grand sense of adventure! Everything My mom did was an adventure -- whether it was going to the grocery store, the mall or library, eating dinner out or enjoying visits to Mexico, Hawaii or Europe!

My daughter shared an observation/memory about my mother "bouncing around town with an easy-going smile and more energy than seemed natural for a woman of her years." Up until the very end of her life, she had that bounce, and even at the end, that easy-going smile! I've intentionally focused on having an "easy-going" smile at all times recently. And I have noticed almost everyone smiles back - even stressed, self-involved drivers in parking lots, at stop lights and in people I pass by at the grocery store. And I find my own spirits lifted when I remember to smile.

You know, as I think about it, Mom instilled that sense of adventure in all of us - at least in subtle ways, if not in the 'live like you mean it' way she did. Years ago our family went on one of our annual family vacations to Nag's Head, NC. It rained and rained and rained. Picture this: 2 adults 5 children, the beach, rain, rain, rain. So what did Mom do? She taught us all to play a Mid-western card game, Euchre. (It's kind of like poker, bridge, spades . . . )

Since that year - and we were young! - often, when four or five of us were together, a Euchre game ensues. If one needed to leave for work or some other commitment, somebody would slide in and take their place. All of the 15 grandchildren learned to play Euchre as soon as they were old enough to sit still, or were tall enough to stand by the table and watch us all play. It was just a given in our family -- you learned to play Euchre -- and so did friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, spouses, grandchildren! Sometimes we had -- and still do when everyone is together -- two tables going, along with a Risk game - with an assortment of cousins, friends, either playing or sitting around providing color commentary.

When I was in Seattle after my mom's death, one of my nephews told a story that so perfectly captures Mom! (We were, of course, playing Euchre) He shared that he had just learned to play Euchre and Grandma was on the opposite team. He was hesitating, uncertain as to whether or not he should declare trump. He said, "Grandma told me "Don't be a chicken heart!"" (Not mean at all, but rather, in her very matter-of-fact way.) Then she proceeded to trump him - trounce his team (no doubt inclusive on another grandchild). Then she consoled him by telling him "It's okay! At least you went for it."

Mom was definitely not a chicken heart! And I thank God I inherited that from her. I've done a lot things people didn't think I could/should do. I've self-published a book, started businesses, took on creative projects and undertaken everything in my life with "all-in" determination, and -- I now realize -- approached every thing I've ever done with that sense of "even if things didn't turn out as I wanted/expected, at least I could look back and say I tried."

So, if you see me "bouncing around town with an easy-going smile," you'll know I'm channelling my Mom. Next time you hear or read about some new venture I've undertaken, you'll know I'm just doing what my mom modeled and encouraged all of her children and grandchildren: Don't be a chicken heart!

"Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold" (2 Corinthians 3:12).

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

Perseverance

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 10:59:00 +0000

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (James 1:3-5 NIV)

It has been 36 days since my mom died. It occurred tome yesterday that new parents often reveal their baby's age in number of days, then weeks, then months and, ultimately, years. The experience is still new, and we can't even imagine anything beyond this day. While having a new baby is joyous (except for lack of sleep!) the adjustment still initially "happens" one day at a time.

I guess adjusting to life without a loved one has to move that way too. Day by day by day, then weeks by week, month by month. That's how perseverance is learned -- by day, by week, by month, by years. But I don't want to persevere in this! I want my mom back! I don't want to think I'll pick up the phone to dish about something I heard on the news and relish her lively, quick-witted commentary, or tell her about something exciting - like a grandchild's raise or how we finished putting in our vegetable garden, or a host of other things! I won't ever be able to share any momentous occassions or event with her again!

Don't get me wrong! We have dear friends who lost their child recently. I have no doubt that loss is so much more painful and unbelivelably hard to bear and endure! I understand now not only their inconsolable sense of loss - but I grasp in a whole new way, at a whole new level of my being how much courage, strength, and yes, perseverance, it takes for them to just get out of bed each day. I get it and I'm grateful that perseverance isn't finishing its work in me in that way.

I'm still at the "day" stage of my perseverance. I never really understood what these verses meant, "Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." How in the world could the death of my mom - or struggles, challenges, trials of other kinds - help me to be complete? I still feel very incomplete!

I think the completness may refer to being more like Christ. To love more, to be stronger for others who can't be strong on their own, to pray harder, to live each day on purpose. It doesn't mean it will all be okay. It means we will survive. How we end up on the "other side" will be the result of our perseverance. And we only learn to persevere through hardship.

I'm not considering "it" pure joy yet. But I understand I have no choice but to go on. I'm not happy about it, but we are compelled to be "joyful." Joy is not the same as happiness. Joy is possible because I know Mom is in heaven and that I will join her there one day. Joy is possible because of Christ who won Mom and me - and everyone who believes - a place in heaven by His death.

"Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us" (Romans 5:3-5 NIV).

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

Submitting to the Grief = Submitting to God's Will

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Sun, 07 Apr 2013 15:31:00 +0000

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going” (John 14:1-4 NIV).

This morning as I type this entry, I am amazed at the radical difference between my state of mind and heart last week - and up until a mere 24 hours ago! I don't know for sure what was going in "my universe" but I felt as if I had hit a wall, or was surrounded by some huge barrier from which I could not escape. No amount of prayer - and there was a great deal - could relieve the tremendous burden I was feeling. I just felt - not attacked per se - like I was in some sort of struggle which I could neither define nor overcome.

Friday afternoon my mom's ashes were interred at the cemetary. It was a beautiful, sunny day here in Richmond, but my heart was gray and dreary--and I felt that way all week! Saturday morning, it was is if I had been washed clean, set free, uplifted and unchained! I now think that the unsettledness and heaviness could have been empathy with the struggle of my mom awaiting her final send off to heaven -- at least symbolically so. That's probably not very sound theology. I know her soul immediately left her body when she died on March 11, but I (and I beleive other family members have felt) as if her spirit was lingering since that time - interacting from a place between 2 realms - to comfort us, guide us, direct us, help us let go of her physical presence.

I can't help but think that the symbolic finality of her burial ended a spiritual struggle she was dealing with -- and I felt as well. Perhaps it was only my own hesitation to let go of her--my own defiance against the cruel hurt of bearing the truth that she is gone from this world. I wasn't present at the interment, but my dad told me it was a nice day there and the ceremony was lovely. My sisters, brother and brother-in-law were with Dad as they buried mom. I was there in my thoughts with them - watching the clock all afternoon - thinking about what was happening and knowing how hard it was to have such finality.

The incredible vastness and intricate interweavings of the universe -- earthly and heavenly realms - is so much more apparent - and awe-inspiring now through this experience! I know without question that Mom has "intruded" into my little part of the universe more than once since she died! I have felt a change in the air pressure surrounding me - or a slight breeze or sunburst. I don't believe these instances are due to my naievete - rather they are real and undeniable! Heaven opens up a million times a day to allow its saints to interject themselves into the earthly realm.

Last week my business came to a screeching halt - literally no returned phone calls or texts, to responses to emails and nothing I did or said made a lick of difference. I had a sense of foreboding and doubting my decision to start the business. Beginning Saturday morning, my phone "blew up" and customers and potential team members have called, texted, emailed me!

My spiritual life took a nosedive too! Yes, I know the two are related - and I cannot/will not ever succeed without a healthy spiritual life! My prayers felt empty, and seemed to be ineffectual. I begged God to lift the weight I was bearing. But God knew I needed to bear the grief and have only the grief upon which to focus. I didn't like it - never will - but I was instructed that I must allow myself the space and time and thoughts that surely will be required to move through the grieving process.

As I stated previously, there is no shortcut through the grief. I had tried to "push it down" to move on with my life. Perhaps that was the weight I felt! Perhaps it was my own reluctance in fully embracing that my life must go on in spite of my profound sadness.

In the end it is about submission. I don't like that word - and the act even less! It was - and always will be - about submitting to God's will, His plan, His wisdom, knowledge and desire for us and our lives. We don't have to like it - probably won't. But it is an absolute necessity if we are to thrive and flourish in this life here on earth! We must submit to God. That truth is one with which I will struggle until the end of my days! But I am so grateful to know Jesus assures us, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me. My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you?"

I rejoice that one day I will be with Mom in heaven and she will be so excited to introduce to Jesus and the saints there with her.

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

No Shortcut Through The Grief

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 02:46:00 +0000

There is no shortcut through the grief.

The interment for my mom will be on Friday and I won't be there. I didn't think I would mind initially, but I do. I know it's "just a ceremony" but I would like to have been for to have a final "goodbye" with my dad, sisters and brother. My dad and I drove out to the site while I was in Seattle after Mom died. It poured rain all the way out there -- just a gray, cold morning. As we pulled into the cemetary the sky cleared and by the time we headed back to the house it was a bright sunny day! I think it was Mom's way of letting me know she and I had our own personal goodbye that day.

It was hard to leave Seattle for home this tme - harder than ever before, because I knew it would never be the same going back. Harder because I knew there would be no more birthday cards, anniversary cards, no more Party Mix packed in Christmas boxes.

I've had some pretty hard moments. It's only been 23 days since Mom died, after all. It still doesn't seem real - I still can't believe it. My daughter baked a batch of Mom's "famous" ginger cookies. My son and I have had several conversations about Mom and some of the funny things she did and said - and the little things that made her special. We've even speculated about future elections and what Mom/Grandma would think and who she would support (from a great vantage point!)All the things we loved about her will live on and her legacy will continue. But it's still just too new--too hard to wrap my head around.

Twenty-three days. How long before I don't cry when I remember she's gone? Somehow my life goes on. Go to work. Fix dinner. Go to bed. Get up again and do it all again. I know that sounds trite. It's how we go on, though. And going on is really the only option. It's how we get through each day. It's still hard, though. Still it requires sheer force of will just to turn over and get out of bed in the morning. It still involves striving not to curl up in a little ball and cry like a baby. The truth that she's gone is still in the back of my mind during every conversation and through every activity In the moments when I allow the sadness, loss and pain to creep in, it is almost unbearable all over again.

I know it will get better. It has to. I know there will always be "moments." And there will always be reason to smile at her memory and celebrate her life.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God" (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV)

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

God is just too big for us to imagine!

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 10:46:00 +0000

Every single day since Mom's passing she has "communicated" with me - sent a message of some kind, a thought that crosses my mind. I have experienced contact with God in the past, but I'm feeling like I have a "direct line" now - I believe His desire is for each of us to be open to His thoughts and guidance. Now I understand in a new enlightened way that Mom has joined this cosmic, interwoven, interconnected, shape-, form-, time-defying essence that is God. And He is just too big for us to imagine!

The Alpha and Omega God I worship now is so much more multi-dimensional and multi-faceted -- as I have never understood before! Assigning my Mom as part of Him in no way diminishes who God is - or at least who I perceive Him to be! Rather Mom joining Him opens up my mind to the unspeakable, unimaginable, inexplicable existence that is God! My mind is just blown! The vastness and completeness of it all is beyond human comprehension!

I am breathless and speechless. I am in absolute awe! I am humbled.

As evidence of this interaction with the divine, I wrote the following after my Dad and I had picked up Mom's urn several days after she died.

On my way to the house with Dad from Margie's and then upon arrival, I felt such an emptiness in my heart. On Tuesday night I had the thought that Mom isn't here anymore - couldn't even seem to feel her presence! It made me so very sad.

Yesterday we picked up her urn and placed it on the hutch and I cried for a little bit. But within 30 minutes of Mom's arrival she sent me a message that I know she wants me to share.

I'm still here.
I'm in the wind.
I'm in the twinkling stars.
I'm in the shadows of the moon.

I'm still here.
I'm in each breath and every sigh.
I'm in a random sideways glance.
I'm in your laughter and fun.

I'm still here.
I'm in the snowflakes and rain.
I'm in rainbows and sunshine.
I'm in clouds and clear skies.

I'm still here.
I'm in mountain heather.
I'm in the deep deep sea.
I'm in craggy rocks and sea shells.

I'm still here.
I'm in all your teardrops.
I'm in each struggle you endure.
I'm in every victory and celebration.

I'm still here.
I am with you always because you are part of me.
You are my heart and love and
my everything and always will be.

I'm still here.
Live a long and happy life
Be kind and gentle.
Do what is right and good to honor me.

Don't worry . . . it's good . . . it's good

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

Magical, Mysterious, Magnificent!

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Tue, 26 Mar 2013 21:33:00 +0000

It may seem odd that my faith has increased exponentially since my mother's death on March 11. It seems odd to me, at least! I have considered myself a woman of strong, deep, abiding faith. The truth is,though, my faith had never been tested as mightily as it has in the past 8 1/2 months, since the diagnosis of mom's cancer and in her passing.

I've had spells of anger, fear, sadness, and grief at the anticipated/probable impending loss we were told was coming. Of course, death is inevitable, and Mom was 81 years old. But I wasn't ready. Can one ever be? I have a great deal to share, but still need time and distance to process and "translate" it all.

So how has my faith grown? Through the serendipity of events in the two short weeks since her passing. I'll share more of that later too. But this much I do want to say: Mom's body was dead but her spirit, her joining of the eternal, infinite life force that I believe is God has been stunningly magical, mysterious and, yes, magnificent! We have all felt her at random times, in odd moments--certain that it could only have been her spirit! We are sure she has frequently swooped back down to earth - not yet ready to leave us alone - knowing we still need her. That's so like Mom though - turning back from heaven to finish the care-taking we still crave - gently ushering us into the next stage of our own lives here on earth without her.

I believe now, first hand, up close and personally, that we live in our bodies as a temporary state, housing our souls for a few decades, or more if we are fortunate. But what comes after is unspeakable! I know Mom has been anxious to get to heaven. (My son is pretty certain she actually had a hand in the selection of our current pope. If you knew my mom, you'd be pretty sure he is right!) What comes next is so marvelous, so spectacular, so transcendent of anything we can imagine that I know she is just blown away! I'm blown away by my own brushes with the ethereal in the past 2 weeks!

God is so good! I am sad beyond expression. I miss my mom more than I could ever explain. But He has allowed me glimpes into His soul, to observe the intricate interweavings of all life, all existence. He has granted me a peace that has not yet begun to smooth out the rough edges of my grief, but that I trust and believe will sustain me until I join Mom in heaven.

Eternity might just be long enough for the woman who never met a stranger to find out where everyone there in heaven came from! I'm pretty sure the feasting and celebrating there has reached a crescendo that will last for centuries. I know without question that Jesus is the first person she saw and that she looped her arm around his, patted his hand and told him, "Thank you honey, for hanging on the Cross for me. You didn't have to do that! It was very nice of you. I would have loved you anyway"

There is no shortcut through the grief. But I am grateful that there has been so much laughter intermingled with the tears. I am so blessed to have my family - husband, children, father, siblings, nieces and nephews, uncles, aunts and cousins - numbering in the hundreds. We are a force to be reckoned with in this life - and I can't wait to see what all of us, joining with those who await us now, can do.

I love you, Mom. I miss you. But it's good. . . it's good. No . . . it magical, mysterious, and yes, magnificent!

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

Bittersweet

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Fri, 08 Feb 2013 11:06:00 +0000

Bittersweet: pleasure mingled with pain or regret.

All parts of bittersweet are reported to be poisonous, but songbirds, ruffed grouse, pheasant, and fox squirrel eat the fruits. The Menominee, Ojibwa, and Potawatami tribes of North American Indians have used the inner bark as an emergency food. (USDA.gov)

On my way home from work yesterday I had an "aha" moment. Life is bittersweet! Now . . . I certainly I have known this, but yesterday, this truth/ knowledge became larger than me - remember "it's all about me." As I was closing down my computer at the end of the day, I saw a short story about Delanie Walker (a San Francisco 49ers football player) flash up on the screen. His aunt and uncle were at the Superbowl to see him play, and on their way home they were killed by a drunk driver.

Just take a minute with that.

Walker had just celebrated what was certainly the crowning achievement of his career (even though his team didn't win)! And every day for the rest of his life, that day will be "mingled with pain." That's when I had my revelation: That's life! I don't say that to be negative, to complain, to express a "woe is me" mindset. I've lived a lot of years with that attitude, though! I've raised my eyes to heaven and asked God with great exasperation, "Why, God? Why?"

Wow! How small-minded and self-involved of me! Am I alone in this? There are a lot of really great things going on in my life right now! And there are some really hard things--really hard. On good days, I "grin and bear it" and on the not so good days, when I'm tired or stressed, I walk around in kind of a funk. I admittedly feel sorry for myself: God has given me so many burdens to bear. Why can't I just have the "good stuff" without the pain, sadness, struggle! Just once. Just. Once.

I wonder if Delanie Walker experienced that? Do you? But you see, that is just life It's not perfect or easy or simple. God isn't mad at us or punishing us. It's just life. That's not reason to curl up in a ball in the corner or crawl into a hole and hide out from the hard stuff. Not at all. Rather we must focus on the joy--the good stuff. That doesn't mean we ignore the pain or grief or struggle. It means we push on through it because we know that life also offers us tremendous joy.

Paul exhorts us to "Regoice in the Lord always."

"[ Final Exhortations ] Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." (Philippians 4:4-9 NIV).

You see, we have every reason to rejoice, even in the midst of our hardships! We know the ultimate outcome of our existence! We will be in heaven one day! And that is all we really need to know.

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

More Valuable Than Gold

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Fri, 18 Jan 2013 11:50:00 +0000

"Such trials show the proven character of your faith, which is much more valuable than gold - gold that is tested by fire, even though it is passing away - and will bring praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed" (1 Peter 1:7 NIV)

Hmm . . .praise and glory and honor. Though in the midst of our trials we get caught up in "it's all about me" mindset, our focus should properly be on God and His great love for us! Of course, I am speaking not as an example, but as a fellow flawed, imperfect, stumbling, bumbling human being!

In the midst of our trials, we don't usually feel grateful, thinking that this is okay, because the proven character of my faith is being tested! I think more often we feel abandoned by God, or at least like our needs/ wants/ desires are on His "back burner." We must remember though, that God is, indeed, intimately involved in our world - and in our lives! He wants us to spend eternity with Him in heaven and so allows us to be refined, rehabilitated, renewed and be made as close to perfect as we can possibly achieve. Fortunately, He understands that our perfection will not be realized until we're in Heaven with him!

In the midst of our trials, the Bible tells us to rejoice! In the midst! Be joyful! Worship God!

"Worship the Lord with gladness; come before him with joyful songs" (Psalm 100:2 NIV).

"yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will be joyful in God my Savior" (Habukkuk 3:18 NIV).

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer" (Romans 12:12 NIV).
"[Trials and Temptations] Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds," (James 1:2 NIV).

I don't really like having the character of my faith tested. In fact I don't like it at all! Sometimes I am just too worn out, physically, emotionally, spiritually to deal with some of the trials life throws at me. I needed God's inspired Word this morning to remind me that God loves me too much to allow me to have an "easy faith"; a faith that is never tested never grows deeper; a faith that is never challenged, never gains strength.

The praise and honor and glory go not to me--but to God and the unparalleled, inexplicable, gracious and unspeakable love God has for us, revealed in His Son on the Cross.

I know you're tired. You may be ready to give up. I know it's hard. You may feel overwhelmed. I know. Remember, the character of our faith is deepening, strengthening and broadening. And our faith is more valuable than gold. Because in the end it is all we have.

Blessings on your journey,

Mary

God's "Got My Back"

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Mon, 07 Jan 2013 11:25:00 +0000

""For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you" (Jeremiah 29:11-12 NIV).

"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun" (Psalm 37:4-6).

The desires of your heart. This statement opens a huge can of worms in my faith life! The desires of my heart? This statement takes me places I don't want to go, because I know full well there are things and situations and circumstances that I wish/ desire to different than they are currently and will be in the future!

Then I think about these verses a little more, from another perspective and I frame the passage with other scripture. This psalm isn't urging us to go to God as a child approaches Santa! God doesn't operate that way at all! We're not being promised that if we take delight in the Lord, all the desires of our "human" hearts will be given to us.

In Jeremiah, God delcares His plan is to prosper us and not harm us, plans to give us hope and a future. But neither of these is to be viewed through the lens of our humanity! Rather, we are to transcend our humanity by not approaching God with a "if you'll do XXX for me, I'll YYY." Nor does God offer us a carrot and a stick.

God's greatest desire is for our well-being and joy! We are so precious to Him! Just as we would never give a child something that would harm them, God protects us. Our delight in the Lord is because of that truth! We are not to delight in Him "if", but "because."

God's plans for us are far greater, much more magnificent and amazing than we could ever even conceive. We need only to trust God, to give Him charge of our plans and dreams-and desires of our heart. We may not reap what we think is best/ important/ necessary for us here on earth. We may not realize the success/ wealth/ reward we have decided we want. But we can delight in God because "He's got our backs." He offers us hope and a future--a future with Him in heaven.

That is reason enough to delight!
Blessings on your journey,
Mary

Countdown to Christmas - What!?

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Mon, 24 Dec 2012 12:55:00 +0000

Yikes! It's Christmas! When did this happen?!

This weekend I am relishing having all our children with us for 4 whole days. I am blessed not only with a good and gentle son, a passionate and loving daughter, also a caring and kind son-in-law. A mother can't ask for much more. (And their dad/my husband is pretty special too!)

So, I had this idea just under a year ago that I would endeavor to live Christmas every day. . . great idea. Good goal to set. Not easy, though. And at some point in the year - I'm pretty sure I remember when without checking my blog archives - Christmas stopped being my focus.

I had just about come back around, deciding that I could at least spend the last couple of weeks prior to December 25 really focusing on the true meaning, not getting caught up in the hype and the materialism. Determine to remember that family and love and a tiny baby born over 2000 years ago are the true reasons for celebration. Then . . . 20 school children were murdered . . .

But to be completely honest . . . it would have/ could have been something else that deterred my good intentions. And throughout the past year there have been many people, situations, events that have captured my time, energy and attention. I have been disappointed more in this past year than I can ever recall. Disappointed. In general. About many things. That's a sinful state, isn't it!?

I'm not going to say all those things we're supposed to say about my many blessings and how I have no right to complain. I've done plenty of that this year too. I know what my attitude is supposed to be!

"You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness" (Ephesians 4:22-24 NIV).

I know what my attitude has been.

“We have heard of Moab’s pride— how great is her arrogance!— of her insolence, her pride, her conceit and the haughtiness of her heart" (Jeremiah 48:29 NIV).

I'm human and fully accept and understand that I am flawed and frail. My faith falters, though I believe I have deep faith, it's often not practiced enough. In spite of my best intentions, the frailty of my human heart and the imperfection of my faulty human brain cause me to veer off track.

As this year winds down, I choose to look back on the ways God has blessed me. On countless occassions he sent angels/ the Holy Spirit to protect me, minister to me and interve in the earthly realm for my sake.

I have had enough evidence of that to be convinced that, "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:37-39 NIV).

My prayer for you this Christmas and in the coming year: "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:7 NIV).

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

Whatever is Pure and Lovely

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 01:18:00 +0000

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you" (Philippians 4:7-9 NIV).

This is a lesson that somehow we humans seem to learn the "best" in times of tragedy. In those times we see the best of the best rise to the top: the teachers who tell their young students, "I love you very much." in case (and in fact) it will be the last words they ever hear; the first responders, who witness such an unspeakable, indescribable, unbelievable "crime scene" yet do their jobs with honor and professionalism. Those are the ones who walk the earth in purity, loveliness. The parents of slain children who are not angry at their child's murderer - those are the one who are admirable and praiseworthy.

Even in the midst of our own disbelief, horror and grief over the murder of 20 children, we can find hope that God sent to earth some of his beloved, to transcend all understanding by their actions--so in love with their fellow man that they don't even think about the consequences of stepping between a child and mentally ill gunman; so noble and admirable that they don't hesitate to give their lives to save another.

More than that, there are countless good and gracious, strong and noble people on this earth. I had almost lost that truth . . . until I turned off the television and opened my bible. I heard enough in three days about the courageous and selfless to know that God is, indeed, alive and that he stoops down from heaven to touch our lives through the people we meet and the experiences we have.

I stated recently that I will never understand pure evil - but I also could never begin to grasp the pure goodness and light that is God. This truth gives me hope. Hope that even in a fallen world, good always triumphs over evil; love always wins over hate; peace and grace always endure over anger and revenge.

I am still numb over the mass killing in CT of so many beautiful, angelic babies. But they are with God now, and their lives had a purpose and meaning and value here on earth. I have already seen parents, friends and family members make profound changes in their lives to honor those who are in heaven. That is proof enough for me that God lives in and with each and every one of us.

I am unable to comprehend how parents so ravaged by grief could even go on. Then I remember Jesus on the Cross--perfect humanity/divine majesty. God lives. He came to earth as a tiny baby and lives forever in heaven.

That is comfort enough for now. I do not know what tomorrow brings, but I know who is waiting there.

Blessings on your journey, Mary

An Unfinished Masterpiece

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Sun, 09 Dec 2012 14:42:00 +0000

"Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God" (Rev 3:2 NIV) An on-line friend paraphrased this scripture: You are a masterpiece waiting to be finished. Webster's defines masterpiece as: a work done with extraordinary skill.

At the end of time, when our lives are about to end, we will no doubt look back and remember all the things we did and didn't do, that we "should" or "shouldn't" have done. In movies, when a person passes away they show their lives flashing before their eyes. If your life were to flash before your eyes this morning, what would you see?

Certainly we all have regrets--some profound. There are bound to be many happy memories as well (if we are fortunate). I take this scripture to be an admonition on how to live our lives in the time we have remaining. We waste time and energy if we dwell on our grief, our losses, our regrets. Rather, we should grow from those experiences--and remember that God brought us through them. We are strenghtened and our resiliency and faith are increased once we move from the past to looking toward tomorrow.

My friend reminds us that we are created in God's image and likeness - e.g., masterpieces. God went to a lot effort to create us and he doesn't want to miss out on the opportunity to spend eternity with us! As this is the case, we really have no choice but to relish the time we have, to make the most of the days, the people, the situations that come into our lives. God loves us so very much and He even sends a warning: Wake up! He beseeches us, to wake up from the slumber of our mere humanity and begin living into the masterpieces He created us to be.

"[The Day Is Near] And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed" (Romans 13:11 NIV).

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

Perfectly Perfect Perfection

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Sun, 02 Dec 2012 22:40:00 +0000

Synonyms for irrestible: alluring, beckoning, charming, enchanting, fascinating, glamorous, imperative, indomitable, ineluctable, inevitable, inexorable, invincible, lovable, overpowering, overwhelming, potent, powerful, ravishing, scrumptious, seductive, stunning, tempting, unavoidable, unconquerable, urgent

This is a post about perfection and the pursuit thereof -- okay . . . it's about my perfection and the lack thereof! I was making a statement earlier about my pursuit of perfection and while that is an "easy" word for one to define, I wanted to explain the hold that pursuing something so elusive and impossible can have on us and our lives. Irrestible is the word that came to mind and I knew that was on track, but, being a writer, I wanted just the *oops* perfect word or phrase. So I went to dictionary.com where I found the definitions above.

This whole thought process began in a very "ordinary" way yesterday. I had agreed to bring a dessert item to a lunch and learn meeting at church this afternoon. I had decided I really wanted to make the adorable brownie bite "santa hats" in the picture. After a trip to the grocery store I began assembly of the "hats" and my husband was surprised that I used "store-bought" brownie bites.

(There is absolutely nothing wrong with using "store-bought" anything! In fact, I had decided earlier in the week that I would, indeed, use store-bought brownie bites to make these.) My dear husband, though, is all too aware of my unrelenting pursuit of perfection - in everything I do (and is very familiar with my from-scratch baking habit). (Not that I AM perfect - rather that I pursue perfection--like a rat on a wheel!)

So . . . if you're still with me . . . Bottom line is this: It's appropriate and desirable to desire to be the best we can, in all aspects of our lives. However, pursing perfection can, in and of itself, become our purpose and our primary goal. It can make us (me) crazy - and drive those around us crazy too! But perfection is truly irrestible . . . we will do anything and everything to pursue it.

I stated in a post on Facebook that when we spend to much time and energy pursuing perfection, it becomes urgently beckoning. The pursuit takes over our lives, consumes us, turns us inside out! Even though we realize, in our sane moments, that we never can and never will achieve perfection, it is alluring and irrestible, until it becomes both imperative and overwhelming.

What is so "insane" is that the definition of the word I was looking for to describe my pursuit of perfection, actually describes God: alluring, beckoning, fascinating, indomitable, invincible, lovable, overwhelming, potent, powerful, stunning, unconquerable.

That means that if I pursue my own perfection rather than the perfection that is God, I am guilty of idolotry. It means I am putting myself on the same level as God! That is just plain sinful! Yes, I should strive to be the best "me" possible, but I sin when I seek perfection.

God doesn't want us to be perfect--he doesn't expect us to be! He wants us to seek Him! And he want us to have the same zeal in seeking Him - the alluring, beckoning, fascinating, indomitable, invincible, lovable, overwhelming, potent, stunning, unconquerable God of heaven and earth -- as we do in pursuit of own perfection.

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me" (2 Corinthians 12:8 NIV).

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

He Has Overcome the World.

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 02:07:00 +0000

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world” (John 16:33 NIV).

This is one of my absolute favorite scripture verses! I have a lot of "favorites" but this one especially stands out. I cling to this verse on many days!

Life can be so hard, sometimes. The world can be a scary, sad, difficult place! I find myself going through weeks and weeks feeling so burdened, overwhelmed, physically and emotionally spent.

And then I hear a news story about a young New York police officer who buys a barefoot homeless man with blisters on his feet a pair of $99 all-weather "hiking" boots and thermal socks. That story just made me feel at the same time sad and grateful. Sad that a poor soul would be living on the streets, not able to afford a pair of shoes. Sad that it's a "big deal" that one person reached out to another in such a basic and yet profound way. Grateful . . . well . . . I don't have blisters on my feet . . . and I have quite a few pairs of shoes.

I can't believe this year is almost over and I haven't done very well living each day as if it were Christmas! Of course, life is just downright hard and can really throw you for a loop! It's easy to be distracted from our goals, easy to lose our focus, all too easy to forget all about the true meaning of Christmas. Then I see a see a story on the news . . .

I really am going to try to spend the remainder of the year being kinder, gentler, more thoughtful, more purposeful; less rushed, less put-upon, less burdened. And to remember that I am a child of God's design, planning and for His purpose. It won't be easy. But I am going to try. After all, God came to earth in the form of a tiny baby who grew up to sacrifice everything for me.

"But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere" (James 3:16 NIV).

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

Got Fleas?

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Sun, 25 Nov 2012 15:35:00 +0000

"God does not have problems. Only plans." Those words were proclaimed by Corrie ten Boom when a clerical error allowed her to be released from a Nazi concentration camp one week before all women prisoners her age were executed. This morning I heard part of a message being shared by a pastor on television. He was talking about thankfulness - even in hard circumstances.

"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 NIV84).

Corrie ten Boom and her family spent time in concentration camps for sheltering, hiding and assisting Jews and members of the Dutch resistance during World War II (and most family members lost their lives). The pastor shared that one of the barracks where Corrie and her sister, Betsie, were sent was infested with fleas. Shorty after her arrival, Corrie began a bible study/ prayer time for the women imprisoned with her. They marveled at how openly the Nazi's allowed them to teach and pray. In fact, none of the guards would go near that barracks because of the flea infestation!

Corrie and Betsie spent 10 months in three different prisons, the last being the infamous Ravensbruck concentration camp located near Berlin, Germany. Life in the camp was almost unbearable, but Corrie and Betsie spent their time sharing Jesus' love with their fellow prisoners. Many women became Christians in that terrible place because of Corrie and Betsie's witness to them.

Thankful? Oh my goodness! We (I) all too easily and too often complain about our circumstances. The TV pastor said, "You're broke? Refuse to be broke! You're sick? Refuse to be sick! Choose to be thankful!

Got fleas? Be grateful it's not worse! Thank God! Because He could be protecting you. No--he IS protecting you--saving you from something worse, for something else.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" (Jeremiah 29:11).

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

God Earnestly Seeks Us!

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Sun, 18 Nov 2012 14:20:00 +0000

"And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him" (Hebrews 11:6 NIV).
earnest: adjective
1. serious in intention, purpose, or effort; sincerely zealous: an earnest worker.
2. showing depth and sincerity of feeling: earnest words; an earnest entreaty.
3. seriously important; demanding or receiving serious attention

This verse from Hebrews offers a tough challenge! We are instructed not just to pray, not just lift our eyes to heaven and ask God for what we want. Nope. We are to earnestly seek Him! So what, exactly, does that mean?

The partial list I compiled (as much for myself as anyoneelse!) includes:
1. Intenionally spending time in the Word - with no morning news on the television, no checking emails, no distractons. Just me and my bible.
2. Praying for God's will. Asking Him to guide me throughout my day.
3. Pausing periodically throughout the day to rest in Him, to seek His wisdom in everything I think and do and say.
4. Thank God every single night before I go to bed for the day He has given me; beg Him for another day to grow and live as He desires.

Of course, unless I am willing to respond accordingly, God's wisdom and guidance are of no value - at least that's what we tell God when we proceed of our desire and accord. If God is truly the most important, most valuable thing in our lives, He is first and foremost. Living for Him as He would direct and desire trumps everything--relationships, jobs, where we live, for whom we vote, money, possessions--everything.

I have more "earnest" days the older I get, but they are still far too few and far between! I allow the world and it's cares and values and issues to trump my relationship with God too many days!

Fortunately, God earnestly seeks us! He woos us, calls to us, reaches down from heaven to intercede for us. Because of our amazing, unspeakably good and gracious God, we can dare to seek Him--and find Him.

Blessings on your journey,
Mary

When All The Earth Has Passed Away

noreply@blogger.com (Mary Moss) — Sat, 17 Nov 2012 14:53:00 +0000

Do not grieve for your past sorrow
Do not remain in today
Do not rely upon tomorrow
Because the earth will one day pass away

When all the earth has passed away
When no more songs are left to sing
When no more words are still to say
When death has lost its piercing sting

Do not grieve for your past sorrow
Do not remain in today
Do not rely upon tomorrow
Because the earth will one day pass away

When time stands still and heaven alone remains
When I kneel before His glorious throne
And God declares His shining glory still reigns
Heaven will become my forever home

Do not grieve for your past sorrow
Do not remain in today
Do no rely upon tomorrow
Because the earth will one day pass away

I wrote this poem recently. I don't remember exactly what precipitated it. I do know that many of my family and friends have had to deal with some hard experiences lately.

As I reread these words this morning I think they sound both wistful and hopeful. At least that's my state of mind this morning! Life is hard. It's all too easy to get caught up in the struggle and the stress--not only of the "big" stuff, but also the day-to-day annoyances and issues.

We can lose our perspective that God is in heaven and one day we will join Him there. So what are we really complaining about? Yes, life can be hard--brutally so. It can be a challenge just to get out of bed some mornings, and to fall asleep at night. I get pretty caught up in that endless cycle--until I remember God is in heaven and one day we will join Him there!

“I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty” (Revelation 1:8 NIV)

Blessings on your journey,
Mary