Facebook-updates.com database http://facebook-updates.com The latest statuses from the facebook-updates.com database en absorbationcan read minds, but is illiterate.Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:56:39 -0700 What happens if I type here?Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:55:45 -0700 Women: Can't live with them, can't kill them.Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:55:03 -0700 Weed smoking and turkey pulling today. Oops ... reverse those verbs. Sorry.Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:53:10 -0700 was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that said "Parking Fine"Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:52:15 -0700 Build a man a fire he's warm for a day, set a man on fire and he's warm the rest of their life.Mon, 13 Sep 2010 12:49:33 -0700 negative candles are cantdlesMon, 13 Sep 2010 12:46:01 -0700 this space for rentMon, 13 Sep 2010 12:45:29 -0700 Top Tip Of The Week: When going through airport customs and you are asked "do you have any firearms with you?" do not reply "what do you need?"Thu, 09 Sep 2010 11:33:39 -0700 do you know what really makes me smile? Facial musclesThu, 09 Sep 2010 11:32:38 -0700 got their test results back this morning and is shocked to find that they been diagnosed with OCD. I've rung the doctors nine times to check if they're correctThu, 09 Sep 2010 11:32:05 -0700 is normally not a praying person, but if you're up there, please save me SupermanThu, 09 Sep 2010 11:30:23 -0700 is cleaning out their medicine cabinet of expired prescriptions with a glass of water and several mystery pills at a timeThu, 09 Sep 2010 11:29:16 -0700 is proud of $gender_var_2. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 yearsThu, 09 Sep 2010 11:28:34 -0700 what do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it?... Next weekThu, 09 Sep 2010 11:26:52 -0700 people reckon I'm too patronising (that means I treat them as if they're stupid)Thu, 09 Sep 2010 11:25:17 -0700 my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxingThu, 09 Sep 2010 11:24:37 -0700 whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paperThu, 09 Sep 2010 11:24:18 -0700 is having a wank over the news feed. Keep them coming guys!Thu, 09 Sep 2010 11:06:34 -0700 split my foreskin last night, not coolThu, 09 Sep 2010 11:04:41 -0700 has won the lottery!! $14 million!Thu, 09 Sep 2010 11:04:20 -0700 still smells of dick from last nightThu, 09 Sep 2010 11:04:01 -0700 would all past lovers please get in contact immediatelyThu, 09 Sep 2010 11:03:42 -0700 my ass is bleeding from the fraping I just gotThu, 09 Sep 2010 10:56:46 -0700 is being "fraped"Thu, 09 Sep 2010 10:56:23 -0700 OMG I CANT BELIEVE IM GOING TO BE A MUMMYThu, 09 Sep 2010 10:56:11 -0700 has hit a new low after having a wank in McDonalds!Thu, 09 Sep 2010 10:55:53 -0700 is thinking about coming out the closetThu, 09 Sep 2010 10:55:42 -0700 just got the std tests back ... got some phone calls to makeThu, 09 Sep 2010 10:55:31 -0700 has an inflamed labiaThu, 09 Sep 2010 10:52:36 -0700 will strip for a tenner and a cheeky smileThu, 09 Sep 2010 10:52:17 -0700 is considering a sex changeThu, 09 Sep 2010 10:52:04 -0700 loves touching her boobiesThu, 09 Sep 2010 10:51:51 -0700 has just made a massive brown mess in the bathroomThu, 09 Sep 2010 10:51:39 -0700 didn't realise how much fun you could have with a bananaThu, 09 Sep 2010 10:51:12 -0700 has just made the internet eight words longerTue, 09 Feb 2010 14:45:36 -0800 statistically, 132% of all people exaggerateTue, 09 Feb 2010 14:43:50 -0800 people who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glassesTue, 09 Feb 2010 14:43:40 -0800 do you know what really makes me smile? Facial musclesTue, 09 Feb 2010 14:43:19 -0800 statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happyTue, 09 Feb 2010 14:42:45 -0800 my girlfriend said I'm too immature and if I don't grow up it's going to erect a barrier between us. Ha ha ha, erectTue, 09 Feb 2010 14:42:31 -0800 people reckon I'm too patronising (that means I treat them as if they're stupid)Tue, 09 Feb 2010 14:40:38 -0800 whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paperTue, 09 Feb 2010 14:39:37 -0800 says my computer just beat me at chess...but it was no match for me at kick boxingTue, 09 Feb 2010 14:38:44 -0800 dreams of a better world...where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questionedTue, 09 Feb 2010 14:38:29 -0800 feels like getting some work done...and so they is sitting down until the feeling passesTue, 09 Feb 2010 14:38:09 -0800 started out with nothing and still has most of it leftTue, 09 Feb 2010 14:36:58 -0800 is the reason Waldo is hidingTue, 09 Feb 2010 14:34:00 -0800 is a ninja =.=Tue, 09 Feb 2010 14:33:43 -0800 is a cross dresser. Deciding what to wear can get me angryTue, 09 Feb 2010 14:32:04 -0800