Q: What do you get when you cross a dragon and a pig?
A: Roasted pork.

Q: Which dinosaur loves taking pictures?
A: Camarasaurus.

Q: Which dinosaur is a superhero?
A: Supersaurus.

The next one is actually one that he came up with quite a while ago but it came to mind again when he started telling his new jokes. How apt that it is Roald Dahl that inspired his interest to create jokes.

Q: What’s a dinosaur’s favourite author?
A: Roarald Dahl.

Perhaps I should save them for Aristotle’s Marvellous Joke Book?

“Hey! Why is it raining? It’s SUN-day, it should be sunny.”

Me: How was school?
Hercules: Good!
Me: What did you do?
Hercules: Play with friends.
Me: What are your friends’ names?
Hercules: Children!

Don’t you love childhood? You don’t need to know anything about a person – not even their name – to be able to play with them and have fun…

Aristotle: Daddy, wake up! *insert whatever it was he needed Daddy to help him with*
Daddy: I can’t.
Aristotle: Yes you can! Because you’re big and strong and fat.

Don’t you just love how children have no biases? Even being fat has good meaning. Sort of makes me wonder why we bother growing up since all the best things come from children.

Aristotle: When I grow up, I want to be a dentist like Mummy.
Dad: Really? Are you sure? Don’t you want to be a lawyer like Daddy?
Aristotle: Nope. I want to be a dentist.
Dad: Well, you know dentists don’t get to talk very much. Most of the time they have to wear a mask to cover their mouths. Lawyers, on the other hand, get to talk all day. In fact, they get paid to tell other people what to do. You sure you still want to be a dentist?
Aristotle: *pause* I think I want to be a lawyer.

Heh… I guess he recognises his strengths.

Aristotle’s Christmas Wish List

Well, at least he didn’t ask for diamonds – which I saw on the list of another little girl.

He also drew R2D2 from Star Wars complete with thrusters and lasers.

Who needs Astro when I have my own live entertainment…

20 Things a Mother Should Tell Her Son

1. Play a sport. It will teach you how to win honorably, lose gracefully, respect authority, work with others, manage your time and stay out of trouble. And maybe even throw or catch.

2. You will set the tone for the sexual relationship, so don’t take something away from her that you can’t give back.

3. Use careful aim when you pee. Somebody’s got to clean that up, you know.

4. Save money when you’re young because you’re going to need it someday.

5. Allow me to introduce you to the dishwasher, oven, washing machine, iron, vacuum, mop and broom. Now please go use them.

6. Always treat people with the respect you wish to be treated with.

7. Don’t ever be a bully and don’t ever start a fight, but if some idiot clocks you, please defend yourself.

8. Your knowledge and education is something that nobody can take away from you.

9. Treat women kindly. Forever is a long time to live alone and it’s even longer to live with somebody who hates your guts.

10. Take pride in your appearance.

11. Be strong and tender at the same time.

12. A woman can do everything that you can do. This includes her having a successful career and you changing diapers at 3 A.M. Mutual respect is the key to a good relationship.

13. “Yes ma’am” and “yes sir” still go a long way.

14. The reason that they’re called “private parts” is because they’re “private”. Please do not scratch them in public.

15. Peer pressure is a scary thing. Be a good leader and others will follow.

16. Bringing her flowers for no reason is always a good idea.

17. It is better to be kind than to be right.

18. A sense of humor goes a long way in the healing process.

19. Please choose your spouse wisely. My daughter-in-law will be the gatekeeper for me spending time with you and my grandchildren.

20. Remember to call your mother because I might be missing you.