Well it is true. The first place that one starts to learn the tools of the trade is at home amongst ones family. And after a time those skills are further nurtured and refined at school.

In this article I would like to focus on how you—a child or an adult can advance your public speaking skills within your family.

Families can be a source of great joy or it can be a place of conflict but in either situation communication is at the heart of the matter. If you have good communication—conflicts can be easily resolved and harmony can be restored within the family. If you have poor communication—conflicts can escalate and it can make home life unbearable.

Public speaking is the ability to communicate with ones audience in a way that they can understand, follow and benefit from. This is similar to what many of us desire in our families. We want to be understood, that people can follow our train of thought and that what we say to them can be of benefit to them or to ourselves. This is effective communication.

How can this be achieved?

LISTENING

How well do you listen? Learning how to actively listen is the key to being able to present your thought, feelings or ideas properly. Listening will help you to understand what is being said or being asked. When you listen well you are better prepared to give the appropriate response—a response that is thought out and that will address the concern, problem or situation.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY

Think about what it is that you really want to say. This is your opportunity to plan. Mentally outline what you want to say. Then take a few moments to reflect on is it…

THE BEST WAY TO SAY IT

If you truly desire for the listener to pay attention to you, you want to express yourself in a way that will promote open dialog and will encourage continued sharing. If the person gets offended he or she will tune you out. They will not want to hear from you and you have alienated your audience. Your opportunity for them to understand, learn or benefit would be lost.

YOUR TONE MATTERS

This is why how you say it matters just as much or even more so then what you say. Are you yelling, are you belittling, are you insulting…this will decide if the person will continue to listen to your or to share his thoughts with you.

As a public speaker you want to keep control of your emotions, think through what you want to say and you want to encourage openness where your audience feels that they can talk and share with you.

Your family is a wonderful place to develop these skills—especially if you want to go into politics! Confrontation and conflicts go with the territory. You don’t always have to agree but you should allow others to be respectfully heard as you desire to be heard.

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Purpose is to have a direction, objective, or intention towards which you strive. It is knowing what your end game is-and planning how you will achieve it. Having a purpose is the essence of being a success in life. Why?

Purpose helps you to set goals that will continually advance you toward your life plan. Without it you will just drift.

Now, how does having a purpose work in public speaking?

To learn more read the entire article Purpose and Public Speaking…

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As a public speaker self-control is a necessary character trait. Good public speakers are not irresponsible with their words. They are deliberate about them…they choose them wisely and carefully.

Though speakers can technically say whatever they like.. or act any way they want-great speakers govern themselves-they adhere to certain societal norms of behavior and conduct.

Both Hitler and Martin Luther King Jr. can be categorized as eloquent speakers. But the character, behavior, and intention of the two men’s speeches were vastly different!

What made the difference? Aside from ideology…self-control.

King, though wronged by United States exercised self-control and encouraged it among his followers-he valued the lives of his followers and those of the oppressors. While Hitler, enacted what seemed right in his own eyes-giving into his desires regardless of how it impacted on those around him-only his life and those of the Nazi were sacred.

In this instance it is clear how self-discipline affected-positively and negatively the “greatness” of these two speakers.

But what about you? If you lack self-discipline can you still be a great public speaker? Yes. You can work on strengthening your self-control. But…how?

Learn how read the entire article… Self-Discipline and Public Speaking

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As public speakers you are a leader. People will learn from your words, presentations, and the example you set. No matter where you go or what you are doing you are leading. Do you have what it takes to lead? Do you have the right view of leadership? Do you want to discover more about leadership?

Click read the entire article Leadership– Do You Have the Makings of a Good Leader?

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Well, you did! You had your debut performance before a captive audience. Everyone was engaged and excited about your topic. They wanted to hear what you had to say. And when you were finish and took your bow they exploded with applause!

This event signaled your official entrance into the world of public speaking. And since then you have given hundreds of speeches even if you didn’t realize it because communication is a form of public speaking.

Why?

Because you’re putting forth your thoughts, ideas, or concerns to a person or group of people, using stories, anecdotes, examples, facts, quotes, or statistics—and that is the essence of public speaking.

Think of it…each time you engage in a debate or discussion with your friends you are performing many aspects of public speaking. You are expressing your position, followed by an explanation as to why, backed evidence, wrapped in your beginning and your closing statements.

Is this not the essence of public speaking?

What is probably lacking is the nervousness you may experience when you think about or give a formal public address. The other is that you don’t necessarily spend hours in preparation or research. What should be clear to you is that there is a link between public speaking and communication and if you can communicate effectively…you can public speak!

I want to encourage you to treat every conversation as an opportunity to hone your public speaking skills. Think about what you want to say. Formulate it in your mind with a beginning, middle, and an end. Then strengthen your position by using facts that you’re knowledgeable about—that support your position.

If you have none then state your opinion and let the listener know it is your opinion. Be open to change or amend your view in light of new information—this will help you to exercise your mind muscle. If the listener has a different opinion—stay calm, because public speaking is not an argument. It is an opportunity to share, exchange, and learn.

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Well it can! Many of the skills that you need to be a great public speaker are used when you communicate effectively. Here are a few of them:

• Speaking clearly so that the listener can hear and understand you
• Listening to what the a person is really saying or asking before you respond
• Maintaining eye contact
• Watching for body language and nonverbal cue
• Supporting your position with facts, quotes, expert opinions etc

These are a few of the things that you do when you talk to friends or relatives on a regular basis. When you start to discuss your favorite celebrity, sports team, school activity, or book—you have to follow it up with “something” that will establish your reasons for your position. And you probably state it without being asked the silent question, “why”.

You probably say, “I enjoyed this book because the author made the characters come alive.  I felt like I was part of the story.”

And… you probably won’t say, “I like the book because” and stop there. You would back up your opinion with facts or reasons so that it is clear to the listener why you feel or think the way that you do.

These are things that you do when you’re developing a speech or giving a presentation. But when you are speaking to people there are a few things that you should try to do which will ensure that you’re an effective communicator.

• Take turns speaking—don’t be a conversation hog
• Match the level and language of the person you are speaking to—not too sophisticated and not to babyish
• Give feedback when asked
• Give your opinion if asked
• Ask questions if you don’t understand something
• Actively listen to the other person
• Watch for body language signs—if the person wants to leave or change the subject
• Stay calm
• Don’t attack the person

If you put these things into practice you will not only be an effective communicator…but you will be on your way to being an effective public speaker.

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Well, I want to challenge you to try the following exercises; though they deal with communication they have benefits for you as an aspiring public speaker. You can write an essay, a journal entry, discuss the topic with a friend or relative, role play it or have a debate.

Suppose that …

1. You’re trying to tell your principal about a problem you are having with your teacher. But each time you try to explain what is going on he keeps cutting you off. What might you do to improve your communication with him?
2. Your grandparents are visiting and they are changing everything in your home. You can’t watch T.V. during the week anymore. You can’t have your friends over and this bothers you. You tried to talk to your parents about it but they won’t listen. What might you do?
3. Your brother is getting on your nerves. You want to tell him to get lost but you know that you will get in trouble if you do. How can you communicate what you are feeling and thinking in a respectful manner?

Take time to think about each scenario and how you would handle it. As you think about it try to visualize the situation. This will help you get in touch with your emotions. As a speaker you want to be passionate. Allow your passions to come to the forefront. You may even want to try to develop a speech around one of the examples above.

What you want to do as you plan your speech you want to be clear as to your purpose, make sure that your message is clear, that you are not using the wrong emotions or tactics—like anger when you should be using persuasion.

Remember that as you respond to the scenarios you want to engage the listener, want to tell how it is impacting on you and not attack the person, you want to build in to your response where you listen to their feedback as well (for that is a key component of effective communication), you don’t want to gossip or bash people(for that will not get you the results you are looking for), then you want to close with thanking them for listening or trying to understand (just summarize how it made you feel and what you are thankful for if anything).

Are you ready to give it a try?

Then let’s go!

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Choose a topic of interest

When you have to give a presentation you need to grab your audience’s attention. You can do this by coming up with a topic that you are interested in and excited about.

Make it catchy

Start your speech off with a snappy or catchy beginning. This will engage your audience from your very first sentence.

Load it with relevant facts

Include facts and/or statistics within your speech, this will support your opinions and it will demonstrate that you have done your research. Use expert quotes too.

Summarize your main ideas

Before you conclude your speech go over the most important points in your speech this will help them remember what you want them to.

Make your closing memorable

Try to make your closing as memorable as your beginning. You want your audience talking about how good your speech was for days!

Practice

Take time to practice your speech in front of a mirror, your cat, your dog, your family, and your friends. Do it often because it will pay you back in spades when you give your official speech.

Get feedback

Ask your practice audience for feedback. You can ask your dog or your cat too…but you may want to get suggestions from someone who can communicate in words what you can improve. But there is a benefit to practicing in front of a pet…they will love your speech no matter what and that is a confidence builder. So if you start with your pet gradually move up to people.

If you utilize these tips you will be well on your way to making the best presentation of your life!

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There is really no right or wrong answer but you are expected to answer the question or explain the meaning using a beginning, middle, and end approach. You do need to think out your answer completely in the time allotted. Usually it is 1-3 minutes. Because many of you are just learning how to give presentations practicing impromptu speeches would be a wonderful thing for you to do.

It will sharpen your mind, help you make your speeches concise and to the point and it will help you to learn how to package your speech properly. This is why I have included several exercises that you can try. In order to do these exercises properly you will need a timer, a recorder, and a relative or friend that is willing to time you and give you feedback.

You are expected to answer the questions to the best of your ability. The person who is helping you is to read the question to you. They are to start timing you once you utter your first word. You will have two minutes to answer. If you answer in less than one minute you will need to do it again. The object is to be able to speak for over one minute and twenty seconds. But not with gaps of silence in between. You are to continue to speak addressing the question as concisely and clearly as you can. If you can’t do it the first time just keep trying until you can.

Exercise Questions/Sayings

1. “Lets Pray that the human race never escapes Earth to spread its iniquity elsewhere.” –C. S. Lewis what does this saying mean to you?
2. “…Humans are not defined by there limitations, but by the intentions that I have for them; not by what they seem to be, but by everything it means to be created in my image.”–Elousia (character in the book The Shack).
3. Why do you want to be a public speaker?
4. Whom do you love the most and why?
5. Who are you?
6. What makes you special?
7. Who do you admire the most and why?
8. If you could do your life all over what would you do differently?
9. If the world was ending today…how would you spend your day?
10. If you had the ability to create a new world would you put in it? Why?

You can come up with other questions and sayings to address. This activity can be done as a family or as a small group–why not get your relatives and friends involved?

After you have answered the questions (and they do not have to be done in one sitting) listen to your recording–identify areas where you can improve your presentation. Get feedback from your audience. Then go back and practice some more. This will help you become a better presenter. There is no short cut–in order to be a good public speaker you have to practice–you have to exercise your public speaking muscle.

To learn more about public speaking click here.

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