DwarfCasts (a Red Dwarf podcast)

DwarfCast 50 - Dimension Jump XVII Special

Ganymede & Titan — Thu, 09 May 2013 12:20:00 +0100

Another Dimension Jump has once again come and gone, and we're all left to pick up the emotional and physical pieces as we try to recover from the best weekend in any given calendar year. It was an odd year for G&T as more than half of our number were involved in the running of the weekend, but as always we still found time for the traditional round-up DwarfCast. At the end of a hungover and sleepy Sunday, a frankly ridiculous amount of people all crammed into a single hotel room and tried their best to produce something listenable. I think, on balance, we just about managed it. For G&T alone we have John and Tanya, representing both G&T and the Fan Club we have Cappsy, Ian and Danny, along with Fan Club members and helpers Jo Sharples, Jezzmund Harrison, Carrie Parsons, Alex Newsome, Kiran Parsons, Joey Cannon and Tom Pyott. Finally, the excellent members of the G&T community that we dragged kicking and screaming from the bar include, in no particular order, Karl (Tarka Dal), Mick (mick), Mabel (HelloMabel), Annie (anniescribe) and Claire (Claire). A hearty thank you to everyone involved in this ludicrous episode as well as everyone we spoke to (however briefly) over the weekend. You're all quite good.

DwarfCast 49 - Justice Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Fri, 15 Mar 2013 20:36:00 GMT

Once more the G&T team have assembled to talk about one of them Red Dwarf episodes everyone seems to like these days, and also cover another series of deleted scenes, worts and all. The voices in which Justice will be done are: Ian Symes, John Hoare, Tanya Jones, Daniel Stephenson, Jonathan Capps and the Fan Club's Jo Sharples.

DwarfCast 48 - 25th Anniversary Live Special

Ganymede & Titan — Sat, 16 Feb 2013 20:48:00 GMT

To celebrate Red Dwarf's twenty-fifth anniversary, we held a small gathering in West London in order to broadcast a load of old Dwarf-related ramblings live to the assembled masses. This is your regular downloadable version of that broadcast. The G&T team (Cappsy, Danny, Ian, John and Tanya) were joined by TORDFC's Jezzmund Tutu and Jo Sharples, and TOS's Seb Patrick. We discussed the Silver Survey results, revealed Team G&T's Top 20 episodes, looked back at contemporary reaction to Series VII and VIII, and generally spoke a lot of shit. We were also joined on Skype by Brayds2006, Cpt-D, Alex Newsome, Shane Poole, Jonsmad and the ever-erudite Pecos Pete. Thanks to all our correspondents, and everyone who listened live - this was a hell of a lot of fun, and helped to make the 25th anniversary a real special occasion.

DwarfCast 47 - Bodyswap Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sat, 12 Jan 2013 14:06:00 GMT

It's 2013 and yet here we still are, foisting the same old shit on you. Rejoice! Join Ian, John, Cappsy, Danny and the Fan Club's Jo Sharples as we once again gather to talk over an episode of Red Dwarf, namely Bodyswap and the series III deleted scenes. Marvel as we inform you on such as topics as the lack of a live audience, why the cast's impressions of each other should've been included in the final episode and the exact dimensions of Craig Charles' penis.

DwarfCast 46 - CHRISTMAS SPECIAL - Psirens Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Mon, 24 Dec 2012 21:00:00 GMT

So, here it is. Merry Christmas. Everybody's having fun. If by 'having fun', you mean 'listening to a G&T Dwarfcast', that is. Yes, this is a very special Christmas edition of Dwarfcasts, which differs from a normal Dwarfcast in two key ways. Firstly, it has jingle bells at the start, and secondly, there's a load of self-indulgent festive waffle at the end. So marvel at our Christmassed-up jingle, listen to me, Cappsy, John, Tanya and Danny waffle about Psirens (the most Christmassy of all Red Dwarf episodes) and then tolerate us as we run through some of our plans for the 25th anniversary year.

DwarfCast 45 - Series X Semi-Retrospective Byte Two

Ganymede & Titan — Mon, 10 Dec 2012 13:28:00 GMT

Team G&T has once again assembled in order to talk at length about Series X, in Byte Two of our semi-retrospective. Join Ian, John, Tanya, Danny and Cappsy as we talk the living shit out of Entangled, Dear Dave, The Beginning, Model Shots and what Doug Naylor should be doing with his career, all in our own inimitable 'based-on-watching-show armchair production physiology' style.

DwarfCast 44 - Series X Semi-Retrospective Byte One

Ganymede & Titan — Tue, 04 Dec 2012 21:20:00 GMT

Join the full Ganymede & Titan team - Jonathan Capps, John Hoare, Tanya Jones, Daniel Stephenson and Ian Symes - for a journey way way back into the past, as we attempt to take a retrospective look at Red Dwarf X, recorded about a week and a half after the series finished. Byte One of this beast contains our thoughts on Trojan, Fathers & Suns and Lemons, revised and updated since the Live Instant Reactions, with the benefit of repeated viewings, insights from the DVD documentary, and several weeks' worth of arguments on G&T.

DwarfCast 43 - Kryten Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Mon, 26 Nov 2012 11:20:00 GMT

Hey you! Remember the olden days, before Series X? We used to watch the other 50-odd episodes to death, analysing them to the point of insanity. Well, those days are back! Here's a classic episode commentary for Series 2 Episode 1 Kryten. The full complement of G&T staffers - Cappsy, John, Tanya, Danny and Ian - are on hand to talk you through wonky ships, creased foreheads and dead women. But that's not all! After the episode, there's a bonus commentary on the Series 2 deleted scenes, to give you an all together chunkier and more satisfying Dwarfcast experience.

DwarfCast 42 - Just The Interviews

Ganymede & Titan — Thu, 15 Nov 2012 10:57:00 GMT

When are people going to realise - Red Dwarf X is OVER. To bridge the extremely small gap between the final episode being broadcast and the Bluray/DVD being released, here's a collection of all our Series X related interviews. These were originally dotted around our massive instant reaction Dwarfcasts, so we thought we'd bring them all together in one place for your comfort and convenience. So please welcome Bill Pearson, Craig Charles, Doug Naylor, Rebecca Blackstone and Steven Wickham - together at last! Plus, as this is essentially a 'best of', there's the obligatory tiny quotient of new material, just to force the completists to listen to the whole thing. Ha.

DwarfCast 41 - The Beginning: Instant Reaction

Ganymede & Titan — Fri, 09 Nov 2012 17:15:00 GMT

It's the final instant reaction Dwarfcast of the series, beset from all sides by technical problems that make Red Dwarf X's production look like a walk in the park. But still, this version of the 'cast is the definitive way to listen to how me, Cappsy, Danny, John, Tanya and TORDFC's Jo reacted to The Beginning, joined along the way by special guests Jonathan 'Jonsmad' Young and Seb 'Seb' Patrick. There's also yet more exclusive news regarding the next Dimension Jump convention, a summary of our views on the series as a whole, and an ultra-rare piece of sincerity right at the end. Now, the fuck ups. An hour or so in to the live broadcast, we dropped off the air due to the Spreaker console crashing. Thankfully, it happened at a fairly clean edit point, so this edited version of the 'cast simply bridges the gap between the remounted show with a little jingle. We dropped off the air once more as we were beginning to wrap up, so rather than trying to start a third broadcast, we just carried on recording at our end as if everything was fine. So the last few minutes of this mp3 are never before heard! See if you can spot the exact moment that Jonathan Capps realised we'd dropped off air. There's also an issue with our Skype correspondents - they couldn't actually hear everything that we were saying, consequently they don't always answer our questions and there's a lot of talking over one another. Apologies to Jon and Seb for this cock-up; hopefully it won't matter too much to you, dear listener.

DwarfCast 40 - Dear Dave: Instant Reaction

Ganymede & Titan — Fri, 02 Nov 2012 14:58:00 GMT

It's the 40th Dwarfcast, and the fifth of our live Series X Instant Reaction chinwags, lovingly made not-live and downloadable, with improved sound quality, but no improvement in any other branch of quality. This week, we're talking about Dear Dave, and in keeping with the episode itself, we flit all over the place, cramming in as many topics as possible, without any satisfying conclusion. But excitingly, the entire G&T team are present for the first time this series - that's Jonathan Capps, John Hoare, Tanya Jones, Danny Stephenson and Ian Symes - along with regular pod chum Jo Sharples of TORDFC and non-Dwarf fan, but interested observer, Julian Hazeldine. Controversial opening music from the live version not included, sadly.

DwarfCast 39 - Entangled: Instant Reaction

Ganymede & Titan — Fri, 26 Oct 2012 14:58:00 +0100

If you haven't got time to waste twatting about with other fansites and reviews, why not try our instant reaction Dwarfcast for Entangled? This is the downloadable version of last night's live 'cast, featuring the same mistakes and ill-thought-through opinions, but with nicer audio quality. Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps, Danny Stephenson and TORDFC's Jo Sharples are joined by 'special' 'guest' Seb Patrick, of reddwarf.co.uk fame, who gives his 'insight' from his day spent behind-the-scenes on this episode. We've also got a whole bunch of your comments and small points, and most excitingly, an exclusive interview with chief garbage gobbler Steven Wickham, who tells us all about how he got involved with the show again after an absence of nearly twenty years, his thoughts on Series X as a whole, and his feelings on being so near yet so far to performing in front of a live audience. All that, plus a preview of Dear Dave and a lot of unnecessary swearing. Hurrah!

DwarfCast 38 - Lemons: Instant Reaction

Ganymede & Titan — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 15:26:00 +0100

The power of the Geordie Jesus compels you to download Dwarfcast 38: our instant reaction to Series X Episode 3, Lemons. It's exactly the same as the version we broadcast live - mistakes and all - but with vastly improved sound quality. For the first time this series, Tanya Jones joins her fellow G&Ters Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps and Danny Stephenson, along with the Fan Club's Jo Sharples. We're also joined for sporadic periods by Curtis Threadgold, Carrie n' Kiran Parsons and Peter Martin, along with a shedload of your comments. It's worth reiterating the standard disclaimer that these Dwarfcasts only aim to capture our initial gut reactions, and we'll probably all say things that we no longer agree with in the days, weeks and months to come.

DwarfCast 37 - Fathers & Suns: Instant Reaction

Ganymede & Titan — Fri, 12 Oct 2012 16:00:00 +0100

Ladies and gentlemen, it's the non-live version of our second live Dwarfcast, our instant reaction to Fathers & Suns. Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps, Danny Stephenson and the Fan Club's Jo Sharples convene to talk about the daddy discipline, predictive Pree and Taiwan Tony, for a very long time. We're ably assisted by some of the least rubbish G&T commenters - Alex Newsome, Kris Carter and Rich 'p2p' Lawden - via Skype, and we've also got a fantastic interview with Pree herself, Rebecca Blackstone. All this, plus exclusive news about next year's Dimension Jump, a preview of next week's episode, and a final ten seconds that are probably the best thing this site has ever achieved.

DwarfCast 36 - Trojan: Instant Reaction

Ganymede & Titan — Fri, 05 Oct 2012 18:30:00 +0100

This is Dwarfcast 36 - or Live Dwarfcast 1 - our instant reaction to Trojan. Present are G&T staffers Ian Symes, Jonathan Capps and Danny Stephenson, along with Jo Sharples and Jezzmund Tutu from the Official Red Dwarf Fan Club. As well as discussing all aspects of the first episode of Series X in excruciating detail, we've got interviews with Bill Pearson, Craig Charles and Doug Naylor direct from the red carpet at Wednesday's premiere. There's also comments from our excellent community and a preview of next week's episode. Now, when we did this live, the first part of our discussion was presented with Davros-type effects over the top. This was a mistake that unfortunately we've not been able to rectify for this downloadable version. It's still vaguely listenable - you can make out everything we say, but it's rather annoying. If you want to skip ahead to the good bits, though, everything from the Bill Pearson interview onwards is fine, and you can find that fourteen minutes in. Thank you and sorry again to all those who stuck with us and listened live. Fingers crossed, all the little problems will be ironed out next Thursday (October 11th) when we tackle Fathers & Suns, live from 10pm.

DwarfCast 35 - The End: Original Assembly Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 01 Jul 2012 00:00:00 +0100

The latest in our bi-yearly commentary series. As we approach Series X, almost all of G&T gathered to warm up our vocal chords and surprising opinions. Join John, Ian, Cappsy, Danny and, very occasionally, the fan club's Jo as we talk over The End: Original Assembly (we're just too cool for the broadcast version) from the Bodysnatcher DVD and then later, in what can only be described as a 'special treat', the Series 1 deleted scenes. If you're very unlucky we'll be recording a few more regular 'Casts before Red Dwarf X turns up, but if not we’ll see you in a few months for instant reactions and anything else we decide to foist on you.

DwarfCast 34 - Red Dwarf X Preview

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 22:00:00 GMT

We preview the new series and are unnecessarily rude to people. The first recording of Red Dwarf X is happening next fucking Friday, so in an uncharacteristic act of timeliness we’ve got a nice big preview for you to get your stupid chops around. We have expertly compensated for the lack of solid FACTS about the new by simply making things up and soliciting comments to save us the horrible task of actually thinking about what to say. Speaking of which, thanks to everyone who sent in a comment. We tried to mention everyone but we're sorry if we missed you out. We’re also sorry (but not much) if we were rude about you. You probably deserved it, though. ADDENDUM: We mention that Doug was talking about Simon Gregson playing Rimmer's brother, but it seems we misremembered and now have very little recollection where we got this idea from. We *think* it was just something Craig was throwing around at DJ, so best to take that with a pinch of salt.

DwarfCast 33 - Out of Time Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Thu, 03 Nov 2011 11:00:00 GMT

I love you. You know that, don't you? I wouldn't want you to... GO anywhere, not knowing that. Two DwarfCasts in as many weeks? Surely some mistake? Well, as you'll see when you listen, there's something quite significant about this one. We've commentatorised on Out of Time - another of the episodes it's really about bloody time we got around to - and once again, we have a full G&T complement of voices: Jonathan Capps, John Hoare, Seb Patrick, Ian Symes, Tanya Jones, and Danny Stephenson (occasionally) appearing once more courtesy of the magic of Skype. All of this, AND a story about shitting in the street, AND several Richard Nixon impersonations. Increased frequency? High-quality episode choices? All the team in one place? What's going on? Could it be that there's some really important shit going down and you need to listen to the very end of the commentary to hear what it is? Well, possibly. You'll just have to, er, listen.

DwarfCast 32 - Back to Reality Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 07:26:00 GMT

LIVE from RUISLIP, it's the BEST Red Dwarf episode EVER, talked over by A PACK OF CUNTS. John Hoare! Ian Symes! Tanya Jones! Seb Patrick! Jonathan Capps! and, joining us through some form of phoneline based WITCHCRAFT, Danny Stephenson! Also, some annoying Skype noises. Back to Reality is, of course, officially the best episode of Red Dwarf ever, as decreed by the wise masters of Ganymede & Titan. Will we do it justice, or will we spend most of the commentary picking at petty problems? There's only way to find out...

DwarfCast 31 - Rimmerworld Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Mon, 03 Oct 2011 20:06:00 GMT

Join Ian, John, Seb, Cappsy and our own personal Andrew Collings, Mr. Julian Hazeldine, watch Rimmerworld "chew" (talk) some "fat" (shit). This is the last of the current batch (starting with the Back to Earth: Directors Cut commentary), so I'll look forward to recording our next batch sometimes between now and the next time performingmonkey is correct about something, WHICH WILL BE A LONG TIME, OBVIOUSLY.

DwarfCast 30 - Can't Smeg Won't Smeg Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Fri, 24 Jun 2011 09:07:00 GMT

"What the fuck is this?! I mean seriously this is verging on, just, completely offensive". Cappsy, John, Ian, Seb and court jester Julian Hazeldine convened to re-live the "wonderful" Can't Smeg Won't Smeg, the bizarre but strangely pleasing special created for Red Dwarf Night. We've gone out on a bit of a limb and included this in our "Classic" DwarfCast list over on Twitter, so that means you are legally obliged to enjoy it.

DwarfCast 29 - Backwards Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Mon, 2 May 2011 16:20:00 GMT

1!!!!sdrawkcab noitpircsed siht gnitirw ma I, ahaH. Seems like a good day to bury smug cunts talking about Red Dwarf. Seb, Jonathan, Ian and John return to talk some shit about Backwards, an episode that's already had a fair amount of shit talked about it in the past. Please note that this DwarfCast was recorded before the deaths of Osama Bin Laden and Henry Cooper.

DwarfCast 28 - Dimension Jump XVI - Sunday Evening

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 10 Apr 2011 21:41:00 GMT

The convention is over. Now, what the fuck was THAT all about? As we try to make sense of what happened this weekend, you have the pleasure of trying to make sense of what the hell we’re talking about. As Dimension Jump XVI comes to a close we have what can only be described as a metric fuck tonne of things to cover and consider, all while trying our best not to pass out. As a word of warning, there’s a large section talking about Series X that may be spoilery. It should be noted that it is all based on stuff Doug was freely talking about and does not relate to finished scripts, but we warned nonetheless.It’s been an amazing weekend and we’d like to reiterate our thanks to everyone who came to talk to us, buy our book and generally be lovelier than we could ever hope to deserve. See you at XVII.

DwarfCast 27 - Dimension Jump XVI - Saturday Afternoon

Ganymede & Titan — Sat, 9 Apr 2011 14:14:00 GMT

LIVE from BIRMINGHAM, it’s DWARFCASTS. Presented without much comment, here is the Saturday afternoon DwarfCast from the DJXVI. Things are going well so far so why not listen to this for the longer, more tedious version of that statement?

DwarfCast 26 - Back to Earth Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 19:00:00 GMT

Another Back to Earth DwarfCast, anyone?. It may only seem like five minutes since our Back to Earth instant reaction DwarfCasts (it wasn't. It was two years ago. Didn't you even know that? I did) but here we are again with more discussion on Dwarf's most recent addition to the family. This time Ian Symes, Seb Patrick, Jonathan Capps and the Fan Club's Jo Sharples (singingpotato1979) commentate on the Director's Cut and reassess the ups and downs of the special. if you're "lucky" you should be seeing a few more 'Casts over the coming weeks, months, or at the very most, decades.

DwarfCast 25 - PipesCast

Ganymede & Titan — Sat, 08 May 2010 15:00:00 GMT

Hello! We've got a bit of a break from the norm for you here in the form of a PipesCast. As you may or not already show, G&T's own p2p productions (known to others as simply 'Rich') has been working on Behind the Curtains, a retrospective documentary about the remarkable BBC drama Ghostwatch, for a number of years and now he's breaking forth into the world of podcasting. Episode one features Rich and a ragtag group of waifs and strays he found in a house in West London (pictured below, in all our glory) discussing the show and Rich's forthcoming documentary. This is officially episode one of PipesCast, but we're publishing it here too in order to reach maximum confusion. Anyway, you can download it below, and anyone who questions the thin connection between Ghostwatch and Red Dwarf will get a punch in the ribs.

DwarfCast 24 - Waiting for God Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Thu, 18 Mar 2010 10:00:00 GMT

Since we've not had a commentary 'Cast since time immemorial, here's one we did quite a while ago now. Covering the slightly controversial episode Waiting for God (it was the only none-VII or VIII episode to place below Cassandra.) Seb Patrick and Jonathan Capps talk over the finer details of this criminally underrated episode. Also in attendance is Julian Hazeldine, penguin tamer and long time Dwarf sceptic, along with John Hoare and Tanya Jones towards the end.

DwarfCast 23 - Dimension Jump XV

Ganymede & Titan — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 12:00:00 GMT

It was a fucking good'un and to prove it we have the traditional DwarfCast from the event packed full of chat about the highlights of the weekend as they happened. We're sans clips from the Q&As this year, but we've made up for that by gathering a small audience into Seb and Danny's room for the recording. They represent (if not all then a significant proportion of) the wonderful people we hung around with over the weekend, so thanks you all you magnificent bastards for being so sexy and cool. See you in July?

DwarfCast 22 - Back to Earth DVD Review

Ganymede & Titan — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 20:00:00 GMT

DwarfCasts: because it's easier to do one of these than write something. So, we decided to put our thoughts about the recently released Back to Earth DVD into a DwarfCast. With any luck we'll have a written review for the Blu-Ray release given that it's clearly going to be the definitive version of the show, and by the time it's released it'll be the ideal time to include a decent retrospective on the whole show. This was clearly the plan all along. Yes. Featured are Ian Symes, Seb Patrick and me. Join us as we discuss the finer details of the DVD, the future of Red Dwarf and, of course, Iain Lee.

DwarfCast 21 - Back to Earth Part 3 & Making Of Instant Reaction

Ganymede & Titan — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 00:58:00 GMT

It's over. It's fucking over. We now have 55 episodes of Red Dwarf and a hefty dose of WTF getting there. So, obviously, we had plenty to say in our Instant Reaction, so it's a good job someone remembered to press 'Record'. Jo and Karl are back, enriching the Cast as they are wont to do, and Tom and Mark are there they seem to be rendered speechless by the high levels of dweeb in the room. So, that's this particular series of casts over and done with, but obviously things are going to continue apace on G&T so you can look 'forward' to plenty analysis to come once we've managed to regroup and work out just what the hell has just happened to our quiet show and little website.

DwarfCast 20 - Back to Earth Part 2 Instant Reaction

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 01:30:00 GMT

Back To Earth rolls on and the second episode *really* kicked off the headfuckery. Opinions have been changed, people have been confused and John is off in the other room watching the golf. Once again the cast includes all the attendees of the Great G&T Party, including all six of us cunts, Jo Sharples (Fan Club supremo), Karl Eisenhauer (idiot) and Mark Day (brother of mine and the next Charles Manson.) At this point I should apologise for the lateness of the 'Cast... well, we should but I really don't want to. Get yourselves fucked you impatient gaggle of ingrates. Danny has been working his face off to edit this into shape, so piss off. See you tomorrow!

DwarfCast 19 - Back to Earth Part 1 Instant Reaction

Ganymede & Titan — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 22:40:00 GMT

Well, fuck us sideways. After years of waiting and months of fevered speculations new Red Dwarf has actually arrived. It's here. And, surprise surprise we have OPINIONS and we want to force them on you. In attendance are the full G&T team, including the lovely Jo Sharples, Tom Pyott and the excellently named Karl Eisenhauer. We'll let the rest of the cast speak for itself (although bear in mind these are our instant, un-refined opinions), but be sure to keep an eye out for more instant reactions tomorrow and Sunday. Now, fuck off.

DwarfCast 18 - Back to Earth Preview Special

Ganymede & Titan — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 12:15:00 GMT

What, you didn't think we'd let the buildup to BTE pass by without a special preview Dwarfcast, did you? A VERY SPECIAL Dwarfcast, in fact, as for the first time since Dimension Jump, all but one of the entire G&T team gathered in one place to spout forth our opinions. With only the Northern Art Monkey Danny Stephenson absent, sat around the table we had John Hoare, Ian Symes, Seb Patrick, Jonathan Capps and Tanya Jones, with erstwhile site commenter Karl Eisenhauer and erstwhile person who won't be watching the specials Julian Hazeldine definitely not lurking in the background. In a break from the usual format of the commentary episodes, there's a bit less structure to this one, and it runs a bit longer than normal at 40 minutes. But you never know, we might release a special "Xtended" version in the future, featuring an extra ten minutes of John talking about studio audiences.

DwarfCast 17 - White Hole Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 10:00:00 GMT

"So what is it?" "I've never seen one before, no-one has, but I'm guessing it's a Dwarfcast." "A *Dwarf* cast?" "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. A podcast sucks drunken incomprehensible blathering out of the universe: a Dwarfcast returns it." "So these people are spewing shite back into the universe?" "Precisely." So this is basically the equivalent of the Craig Charles-less cast commentaries, because we were without Ian Symes, who hadn't turned up for some reason. Probably because he's a twat. However, making up for that, the Dwarfcasts are graced for the first time by the chunky Yorkshire tones of Danny Stephenson, who joins John Hoare, Tanya Jones and myself, Seb Patrick, to talk about an episode with which he has a particular connection. What is it? You'll have to listen and find out, won't you? And yes, for the record, before anyone points it out, I am now aware that Paul Robeson was American, and also not just a singer. ALRIGHT?

DwarfCast 16 - Me2 Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 22:00:00 GMT

The podcast that can proudly claim to be "Better Than Iain Lee's Shindiggery" returns once more... Oh, look, we've got another Dwarfcast up. Is this the shortest gap we've ever had between them? POSSIBLY, I can't be bothered checking. Anyway, on the same evening as our Stasis Leak 'cast, only this time after the infidel Julian Hazeldine had GONE HOME, we turned our attention to the first series. A top-ten-ranking episode in our legendary poll, Me2 is rather well-thought of here at G&T, particularly by Rimmer fangirl Tanya, which made us rather enthused by the prospect of talking about it. Or maybe, as ever, that was just the booze. Anyway, enjoy!

DwarfCast 15 - Stasis Leak Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 01:42:00 GMT

At this time of high drama and excitement in the Red Dwarf world, only one thing can top the Carbug picture... Yes, DwarfCasts are back! For those of you who are new to the site, you may or may not be aware that these are our incredibly sporadic series of podcasts, recorded whenever we manage to get a few of us together in one place and can be arsed to switch on a microphone. More often than not, these take the form of drunken commentaries on episodes - an appealing prospect, I'm sure you'll agree. Our latest set of BLATHERING, then, is on the series II classic "Stasis Leak" (#14 in the G&T episode poll) - and as a very special treat, in addition to the usual suspects of John Hoare, Ian Symes, Tanya Jones and Seb Patrick (due to his being deficient in the London department, the dulcet tones of Jonathan Capps are absent for what I think is the first time EVER on a DwarfCast), we've brought in a special guest star known as Julian Hazeldine, who might be the first person ever to appear on a fansite podcast about something that they actively hate!

DwarfCast 14 - The Last Day Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:38:00 GMT

Rejoice, for one of the most sporadic Podcasts on the Internet is back... FOR NOW. Bit of an odd one, this. Seb was off visiting mawkishness' Liverpool, Tanya had long decided the best course of action was to sleep like a proper human being and so Ian, John and myself launched head first into a couple of commentaries of our own, this being the last of the night. As a result, things were said under the cloud of booze and the following disclaimers need to be made: Craig Charles no longer smokes crack and we've long since let the issue lie. This was recorded in 2006 and towards the end of the ‘cast things do get a little... excessive on the Crack Joke front. The test card music you'll hear towards the end is covering something we really don't want heard. We're sorry about that. Finally, we apologise for the copious amounts of laughter relating the aforementioned censored section at the end. I still have awful memories of RTD, Julie Gardner and Phil Collinson laughing their stupid, smug faces off for literally minutes at some in-joke during one Doctor Who commentary and wanting to destroy them all. I am now no better than they. So, yeah, sorry about all that. However, in the main we think this is a pretty good commentary and worth publishing at least for the first 20 or so minutes alone. Enjoy, anyway!

DwarfCast 13 - Balance of Power Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 05:41:00 GMT

Cappsy and Seb talk over the episode that is better than YOU think it is. Balance of Power may be ranked a relatively low 28 in our absolutely definitive and unarguable rankings and it may also be one of the series 1 whippings boys, but it is still a mighty fine episode. To prove it myself and Seb spent a lovely evening in appreciating the subtle yet pleasing flavours of this fine episode and then spitting the remnants into the spittoon that is the re-mastered version. You know the drill by now, just start the episode playing after the extended beep and you're away!

DwarfCast 12 - Quarantine Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 04:42:00 GMT

Continuing our clearing of the decks and releasing our old ‘Casts, we present you with our commentary for the 11th best episode of Dwarf ever, Quarantine. This appears to be from the same evening as the Legion commentary as Tanya hasn't gone to bed yet and Seb is still off gallivanting. So; myself, Tanya, John and Ian are your hosts for this surprisingly coherent edition of DwarfCasts.

DwarfCast 11 - Legion Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 07:41:00 GMT

Providing my histo-chip serves me correctly, this was recorded on a balmy summer's night back in 2006. Ah, those were the days... it all seemed so much simpler then. So, yes, you've guessed it, we're still plundering the original drunken recording sessions for our commentaries. On this occasion it is myself, John Hoare and Ian Symes providing the endless stream of wit, so do have fun and address any complaints you may have TO YOUR FUCKING MOTHER. Just a couple of technical hitches to point out - we're sorry for our commentary going out of sync at the start and I have no idea what happened at the end but it seems all our credits babble is lost in a sea of unpleasant static, so the ‘Cast does end a tad abruptly in order to cut that out.

DwarfCast 10 - DJXIV

Ganymede & Titan — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 08:09:00 GMT

DwarfCasts are back! After an extended absence due entirely to my disorganisation and broken computer, we can hopefully start a more regular release of ‘Casts over the coming months. Until we run out of commentaries, anyway... To kick off, we've recorded our experience of Dimension Jump XIV last September, along with some highlights from Robert and Hattie's Q&A sessions from the weekend and the odd vox pop from the disgusting masses. Now, obviously a lot of the things revealed at DJ have now been pretty well discussed and debated here since. Stuff like the BBC quote has been ranted against, taken to Points of View and finally clarified by Doug Naylor, so we've tried our best to keep as much fresh stuff in here as possible. It's obviously much shorter than last year's Casts, and the reason is we've got rid of a great deal of ‘old news'.

DwarfCast 9 - Tikka to Ride Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 11:10:00 GMT

The sixth commentary is here, and with it our first foray into that thorny issue that is Series VII, with the episode Tikka to Ride. To say this recording got out of control would be putting it mildly. For a start we're commenting on the re-mastered and Xtended edition of the show and on top of that, we suddenly realised that we don't really need to abruptly stop the Cast at the end of the episode, and so we went on a bit afterwards. And on. And on. AND FUCKING ON AND ON AND ON. And so, we ended up with a massive block covering all sorts of stuff, not entirely relevant to the episode (FUN GAME: SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT THE EDITS). Anyway, the cut stuff will most likely make it on to another Cast soon as part of a wider discussion on the merits of VII and VIII and the attitudes surrounding it, so look out for that why don't you.

DwarfCast 8 - Meltdown Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 22:58:00 GMT

It's a few days late, but better that than releasing them all at once, eh? Yes is the answer, by the way. Presiding are the honourable Hoare, Jones, Symes and Capps - tackling the thorny subject of war (again) and the apparent myth about no one liking the episode, along with the usual brand of swearing, rudeness and smug cuntery.

DwarfCast 7 - Dimension Jump Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 12:29:00 GMT

Well, it's been a while since we last sexually aroused you with our thundering, knee-tremblingly wonderful voices, so here's another one of them there ‘DwarfCasts' all the kids aren't talking about. It's the fourth commentary released, but in fact the second we ever recorded, featuring the undisputed KINGS OF EALING (LONDON, ENGLAND), Seb Patrick and me. I am the better king, though. In it we discuss such issues as race and homosexuality, whilst wearing naught but a pair of rubber gloves and an amusing hat between us. It really is an un-missible edition of DWARFCASTS.

DwarfCast 6 - The Inquisitor Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 06:42:00 GMT

Since we were a week late with the last DwarfCast, we thought we'd give you another this week in an attempt to a) punish you and b) to detract away from the fact we're not publishing a proper article on something interesting this weekend. And here it is, an episode from the ever-excellent series V gets the DwarfCasts commentary treatment, namely The Inquisitor. In attendance are Ian, Seb and myself (you'll start to notice that there's a pattern to this - i.e. I'm in every single one of the fuckers). With regards to the odd Craig Charles comment, this commentary was recorded a good while ago (pre-DJ) and Craig was very much still on our minds in quite an unfavourable way, thus you're bound to hear the odd dig here and there regarding crack and what not. It's worth mentioning that we're all delighted that Craig's back on track and even more delighted at how he conducted himself at DJ so some of our comments are bound to be a little... dated.

DwarfCast 5 - Krytie TV Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 03 Dec 2006 01:22:00 GMT

It may be a week late, but if you enjoy listening to a group of drunken oafs shouting opinions at each other then you're in for a treat! We've broken recording sequence with our commentaries, now, and we've taken one from quite late on in a Saturday night session. Krytie TV was the third commentary recorded that night and as you may hear from the alcohol soaked twatishness of me and Ian, it's an episode that really divided opinion i.e we were just having a go at John for 29 minutes solid. Anyway, it's obvious from this why we decided to publish these commentaries in a random order, as having to sit through 16 commentaries like this would've got rather depressing...

DwarfCast 4 - Thanks for the Memory Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 09:31:00 GMT

DwarfCast 4 and the first of our episode commentaries. And, it's Series 2, Episode 3, Thanks for the Memory, ably commented on by Seb Patrick and myself.

DwarfCast 3 - Beat The Geek Review

Ganymede & Titan — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 12:32:00 GMT

Better late and hastily edited than never... Try to ignore the clunking edits and poor sound quality and instead enjoy the varied, colourful and often arrogant opinions of Ian Symes, Seb Patrick, special guest DwarfCaster Rachel George and me on the subject of GNP's most recent DVD release, Beat The Geek.

DwarfCast 2 - DJXIII Byte 2

Ganymede & Titan — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 11:59:00 GMT

Byte 2 of our coverage from DJXIII. Sorry for this being late. Sorry for it being too long. Sorry for forgetting to record Hattie's Q&A session. Sorry for the odd occasion where you hear me MOVING THE MIC AROUND. Sorry that you can hear the hard drive on my MP3 player revving up every 10 seconds during Q&A sessions. Sorry for talking during the last part of the Casts despite having no voice what-so-ever. Oh, additional: sorry to take up your valuable time. Sorry. Thank you. Sorry. Bye. Bye. Sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. In addition to Hattie's absence due to my INCOMPETENCE you may also notice the distinct lack of Craig Charles. This is because he requested that any recordings should be kept private which, considering the very personal nature of his appearance, is completely understandable.

DwarfCast 1 - DJXIII Byte 1

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 20:23:00 GMT

Byte 1 covers Friday night, with 'insightful' comments from us inter-cut with coverage of Chris Barrie's Q&A session. So, here we are. The much mentioned DwarfCasts have finally been launched. If all goes to plan we'll be releasing a Cast every week. Aren't you hugely lucky? Byte 1 covers Friday night, with 'insightful' comments from us inter-cut with coverage of Chris Barrie's Q&A session.