DwarfCasts

DwarfCast 23 - Dimension Jump XV

Ganymede & Titan — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 12:00:00 GMT

It was a fucking good'un and to prove it we have the traditional DwarfCast from the event packed full of chat about the highlights of the weekend as they happened. We're sans clips from the Q&As this year, but we've made up for that by gathering a small audience into Seb and Danny's room for the recording. They represent (if not all then a significant proportion of) the wonderful people we hung around with over the weekend, so thanks you all you magnificent bastards for being so sexy and cool. See you in July?

DwarfCast 22 - Back to Earth DVD Review

Ganymede & Titan — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 20:00:00 GMT

DwarfCasts: because it's easier to do one of these than write something. So, we decided to put our thoughts about the recently released DVD into a DwarfCast. With any luck we'll have a written review for the Blu-Ray release given that it's clearly going to be the definitive version of the show, and by the time it's released it'll be the ideal time to include a decent retrospective on the whole show. This was clearly the plan all along. Yes. Featured are Ian Symes, Seb Patrick and me. Join us as we discuss the finer details of the DVD, the future of and, of course, Iain Lee.

DwarfCast 21 - Back to Earth Part 3 & Making Of Instant Reaction

Ganymede & Titan — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 00:58:00 GMT

It's over. It's fucking over. We now have 55 episodes of and a hefty dose of WTF getting there. So, obviously, we had plenty to say in our Instant Reaction, so it's a good job someone remembered to press 'Record'. Jo and Karl are back, enriching the Cast as they are wont to do, and Tom and Mark are there they seem to be rendered speechless by the high levels of dweeb in the room. So, that's this particular series of casts over and done with, but obviously things are going to continue apace on G&T so you can look 'forward' to plenty analysis to come once we've managed to regroup and work out just what the hell has just happened to our quiet show and little website.

DwarfCast 20 - Back to Earth Part 2 Instant Reaction

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 12 Apr 2009 01:30:00 GMT

rolls on and the second episode *really* kicked off the headfuckery. Opinions have been changed, people have been confused and John is off in the other room watching the golf. Once again the cast includes all the attendees of the Great G&T Party, including all six of us cunts, Jo Sharples (Fan Club supremo), Karl Eisenhauer (idiot) and Mark Day (brother of mine and the next Charles Manson.) At this point I should apologise for the lateness of the 'Cast... well, we should but I really don't want to. Get yourselves fucked you impatient gaggle of ingrates. Danny has been working his face off to edit this into shape, so piss off. See you tomorrow!

DwarfCast 19 - Back to Earth Part 1 Instant Reaction

Ganymede & Titan — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 22:40:00 GMT

Well, fuck us sideways. After years of waiting and months of fevered speculations new has actually arrived. It's here. And, surprise surprise we have OPINIONS and we want to force them on you. In attendance are the full G&T team, including the lovely Jo Sharples, Tom Pyott and the excellently named Karl Eisenhauer. We'll let the rest of the cast speak for itself (although bear in mind these are our instant, un-refined opinions), but be sure to keep an eye out for more instant reactions tomorrow and Sunday. Now, fuck off.

DwarfCast 18 - Back to Earth Preview Special

Ganymede & Titan — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 12:15:00 GMT

What, you didn't think we'd let the buildup to BTE pass by without a special preview Dwarfcast, did you? A VERY SPECIAL Dwarfcast, in fact, as for the first time since Dimension Jump, all but one of the gathered in one place to spout forth our opinions. With only the Northern Art Monkey Danny Stephenson absent, sat around the table we had John Hoare, Ian Symes, Seb Patrick, Jonathan Capps and Tanya Jones, with erstwhile site commenter Karl Eisenhauer and erstwhile person who won't be watching the specials Julian Hazeldine definitely lurking in the background. In a break from the usual format of the commentary episodes, there's a bit less structure to this one, and it runs a bit longer than normal at 40 minutes. But you never know, we might release a special "Xtended" version in the future, featuring an extra ten minutes of John talking about studio audiences.

DwarfCast 17 - White Hole Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 10:00:00 GMT

"So what is it?" "I've never seen one before, no-one has, but I'm guessing it's a Dwarfcast." "A *Dwarf* cast?" "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. A podcast sucks drunken incomprehensible blathering out of the universe: a Dwarfcast returns it." "So these people are spewing shite back into the universe?" "Precisely." So this is basically the equivalent of the Craig Charles-less cast commentaries, because we were without Ian Symes, who hadn't turned up for some reason. Probably because he's a twat. However, making up for that, the Dwarfcasts are graced for the first time by the chunky Yorkshire tones of Danny Stephenson, who joins John Hoare, Tanya Jones and myself, Seb Patrick, to talk about an episode with which he has a particular connection. What is it? You'll have to listen and find out, won't you? And yes, for the record, before anyone points it out, I am now aware that Paul Robeson was American, and also not just a singer. ALRIGHT?

DwarfCast 16 - Me2 Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 15 Feb 2009 22:00:00 GMT

The podcast that can proudly claim to be "Better Than Iain Lee's Shindiggery" returns once more... Oh, look, we've got another Dwarfcast up. Is this the shortest gap we've ever had between them? POSSIBLY, I can't be bothered checking. Anyway, on the same evening as our Stasis Leak 'cast, only this time after the infidel Julian Hazeldine had GONE HOME, we turned our attention to the first series. A top-ten-ranking episode in our legendary poll, Me2 is rather well-thought of here at G&T, particularly by Rimmer fangirl Tanya, which made us rather enthused by the prospect of talking about it. Or maybe, as ever, that was just the booze. Anyway, enjoy!

DwarfCast 15 - Stasis Leak Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sat, 07 Feb 2009 01:42:00 GMT

At this time of high drama and excitement in the Red Dwarf world, only one thing can top the Carbug picture... Yes, DwarfCasts are back! For those of you who are new to the site, you may or may not be aware that these are our incredibly sporadic series of podcasts, recorded whenever we manage to get a few of us together in one place and can be arsed to switch on a microphone. More often than not, these take the form of drunken commentaries on episodes - an appealing prospect, I'm sure you'll agree. Our latest set of BLATHERING, then, is on the series II classic "Stasis Leak" (#14 in the G&T episode poll) - and as a very special treat, in addition to the usual suspects of John Hoare, Ian Symes, Tanya Jones and Seb Patrick (due to his being deficient in the London department, the dulcet tones of Jonathan Capps are absent for what I think is the first time EVER on a DwarfCast), we've brought in a special guest star known as Julian Hazeldine, who might be the first person ever to appear on a fansite podcast about something that they actively hate!

DwarfCast 14 - The Last Day Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 12:38:00 GMT

Rejoice, for one of the most sporadic Podcasts on the Internet is back… FOR NOW. Bit of an odd one, this. Seb was off visiting mawkishness' Liverpool, Tanya had long decided the best course of action was to sleep like a proper human being and so Ian, John and myself launched head first into a couple of commentaries of our own, this being the last of the night. As a result, things were said under the cloud of booze and the following disclaimers need to be made: Craig Charles no longer smokes crack and we've long since let the issue lie. This was recorded in 2006 and towards the end of the ‘cast things do get a little… excessive on the Crack Joke front. The test card music you'll hear towards the end is covering something we really don't want heard. We're sorry about that. Finally, we apologise for the copious amounts of laughter relating the aforementioned censored section at the end. I still have awful memories of RTD, Julie Gardner and Phil Collinson laughing their stupid, smug faces off for literally minutes at some in-joke during one Doctor Who commentary and wanting to destroy them all. I am now no better than they. So, yeah, sorry about all that. However, in the main we think this is a pretty good commentary and worth publishing at least for the first 20 or so minutes alone. Enjoy, anyway!

DwarfCast 13 - Balance of Power Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 05:41:00 GMT

Cappsy and Seb talk over the episode that is better than YOU think it is. Balance of Power may be ranked a relatively low 28 in our absolutely definitive and unarguable rankings and it may also be one of the series 1 whippings boys, but it is still a mighty fine episode. To prove it myself and Seb spent a lovely evening in appreciating the subtle yet pleasing flavours of this fine episode and then spitting the remnants into the spittoon that is the re-mastered version. You know the drill by now, just start the episode playing after the extended beep and you're away!

DwarfCast 12 - Quarantine Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Thu, 13 Mar 2008 04:42:00 GMT

Continuing our clearing of the decks and releasing our old ‘Casts, we present you with our commentary for the 11th best episode of Dwarf ever, Quarantine. This appears to be from the same evening as the Legion commentary as Tanya hasn't gone to bed yet and Seb is still off gallivanting. So; myself, Tanya, John and Ian are your hosts for this surprisingly coherent edition of DwarfCasts.

DwarfCast 11 - Legion Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 07:41:00 GMT

Providing my histo-chip serves me correctly, this was recorded on a balmy summer's night back in 2006. Ah, those were the days… it all seemed so much simpler then. So, yes, you've guessed it, we're still plundering the original drunken recording sessions for our commentaries. On this occasion it is myself, John Hoare and Ian Symes providing the endless stream of wit, so do have fun and address any complaints you may have TO YOUR FUCKING MOTHER. Just a couple of technical hitches to point out - we're sorry for our commentary going out of sync at the start and I have no idea what happened at the end but it seems all our credits babble is lost in a sea of unpleasant static, so the ‘Cast does end a tad abruptly in order to cut that out.

DwarfCast 10 - DJXIV

Ganymede & Titan — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 08:09:00 GMT

DwarfCasts are back! After an extended absence due entirely to my disorganisation and broken computer, we can hopefully start a more regular release of ‘Casts over the coming months. Until we run out of commentaries, anyway... To kick off, we've recorded our experience of Dimension Jump XIV last September, along with some highlights from Robert and Hattie's Q&A sessions from the weekend and the odd vox pop from the disgusting masses. Now, obviously a lot of the things revealed at DJ have now been pretty well discussed and debated here since. Stuff like the BBC quote has been ranted against, taken to Points of View and finally clarified by Doug Naylor, so we've tried our best to keep as much fresh stuff in here as possible. It's obviously much shorter than last year's Casts, and the reason is we've got rid of a great deal of ‘old news'.

DwarfCast 9 - Tikka to Ride Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 25 Feb 2007 11:10:00 GMT

The sixth commentary is here, and with it our first foray into that thorny issue that is Series VII, with the episode Tikka to Ride. To say this recording got out of control would be putting it mildly. For a start we're commenting on the re-mastered and Xtended edition of the show and on top of that, we suddenly realised that we don't really need to abruptly stop the Cast at the end of the episode, and so we went on a bit afterwards. And on. And on. AND FUCKING ON AND ON AND ON. And so, we ended up with a massive block covering all sorts of stuff, not entirely relevant to the episode (FUN GAME: SEE IF YOU CAN SPOT THE EDITS). Anyway, the cut stuff will most likely make it on to another Cast soon as part of a wider discussion on the merits of VII and VIII and the attitudes surrounding it, so look out for that why don't you.

DwarfCast 8 - Meltdown Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Wed, 07 Feb 2007 22:58:00 GMT

It's a few days late, but better that than releasing them all at once, eh? Yes is the answer, by the way. Presiding are the honourable Hoare, Jones, Symes and Capps - tackling the thorny subject of war (again) and the apparent myth about no one liking the episode, along with the usual brand of swearing, rudeness and smug cuntery.

DwarfCast 7 - Dimension Jump Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 21 Jan 2007 12:29:00 GMT

Well, it's been a while since we last sexually aroused you with our thundering, knee-tremblingly wonderful voices, so here's another one of them there ‘DwarfCasts' all the kids aren't talking about. It's the fourth commentary released, but in fact the second we ever recorded, featuring the undisputed KINGS OF EALING (LONDON, ENGLAND), Seb Patrick and me. I am the better king, though. In it we discuss such issues as race and homosexuality, whilst wearing naught but a pair of rubber gloves and an amusing hat between us. It really is an un-missible edition of DWARFCASTS.

DwarfCast 6 - The Inquisitor Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 10 Dec 2006 06:42:00 GMT

Since we were a week late with the last DwarfCast, we thought we'd give you another this week in an attempt to a) punish you and b) to detract away from the fact we're not publishing a proper article on something interesting this weekend. And here it is, an episode from the ever-excellent series V gets the DwarfCasts commentary treatment, namely The Inquisitor. In attendance are Ian, Seb and myself (you'll start to notice that there's a pattern to this - i.e. I'm in every single one of the fuckers). With regards to the odd Craig Charles comment, this commentary was recorded a good while ago (pre-DJ) and Craig was very much still on our minds in quite an unfavourable way, thus you're bound to hear the odd dig here and there regarding crack and what not. It's worth mentioning that we're all delighted that Craig's back on track and even more delighted at how he conducted himself at DJ so some of our comments are bound to be a little… dated.

DwarfCast 5 - Krytie TV Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 03 Dec 2006 01:22:00 GMT

It may be a week late, but if you enjoy listening to a group of drunken oafs shouting opinions at each other then you're in for a treat! We've broken recording sequence with our commentaries, now, and we've taken one from quite late on in a Saturday night session. Krytie TV was the third commentary recorded that night and as you may hear from the alcohol soaked twatishness of me and Ian, it's an episode that really divided opinion i.e we were just having a go at John for 29 minutes solid. Anyway, it's obvious from this why we decided to publish these commentaries in a random order, as having to sit through 16 commentaries like this would've got rather depressing…

DwarfCast 4 - Thanks for the Memory Commentary

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 12 Nov 2006 09:31:00 GMT

DwarfCast 4 and the first of our episode commentaries. And, it's Series 2, Episode 3, Thanks for the Memory, ably commented on by Seb Patrick and myself.

DwarfCast 3 - Beat The Geek Review

Ganymede & Titan — Thu, 02 Nov 2006 12:32:00 GMT

Better late and hastily edited than never… Try to ignore the clunking edits and poor sound quality and instead enjoy the varied, colourful and often arrogant opinions of Ian Symes, Seb Patrick, special guest DwarfCaster Rachel George and me on the subject of GNP's most recent DVD release, Beat The Geek.

DwarfCast 2 - DJXIII Byte 2

Ganymede & Titan — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 11:59:00 GMT

Byte 2 of our coverage from DJXIII. Sorry for this being late. Sorry for it being too long. Sorry for forgetting to record Hattie's Q&A session. Sorry for the odd occasion where you hear me MOVING THE MIC AROUND. Sorry that you can hear the hard drive on my MP3 player revving up every 10 seconds during Q&A sessions. Sorry for talking during the last part of the Casts despite having no voice what-so-ever. Oh, additional: sorry to take up your valuable time. Sorry. Thank you. Sorry. Bye. Bye. Sorry. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. In addition to Hattie's absence due to my INCOMPETENCE you may also notice the distinct lack of Craig Charles. This is because he requested that any recordings should be kept private which, considering the very personal nature of his appearance, is completely understandable.

DwarfCast 1 - DJXIII Byte 1

Ganymede & Titan — Sun, 01 Oct 2006 20:23:00 GMT

Byte 1 covers Friday night, with 'insightful' comments from us inter-cut with coverage of Chris Barrie's Q&A session. So, here we are. The much mentioned DwarfCasts have finally been launched. If all goes to plan we'll be releasing a Cast every week. Aren't you hugely lucky? Byte 1 covers Friday night, with 'insightful' comments from us inter-cut with coverage of Chris Barrie's Q&A session.